Friday, December 06, 2002

Nine Stories Minus Seven

The Younger checks in from Beantown with a couple of tales:

1. One night in '97 or '98 I was driving back from Southern Minnesota in a state-owned vechicle after doing some road test market research for a company I worked for part-time. With me was some guy whose name I forget who was a jovial, if loquacious companion.

I had KSTP on and was listening to Lileks and I told this guy he should call Lileks with some point I can't even remember. The thing, however, I insisted on, was that he call him "Jimmy" as many times as possible since I had heard or read somewhere that Lileks did not like that.

What motivates this kind of passive-aggressive juvenalia? Well the lab tests are not in yet, but I guess I just thought it was funny. The guy managed to get right on the air and also managed to slip at least 6 solid "Jimmys" in during his call. It was completely over the top and obnxious and probably pissed ol' Lily off pretty bad. And this is a man whose work I respect and try to emulate.

James, if you ever read this, I'm sorry and I do still have some residual guilt from adding to the aggravation that eventually drove you from the airwaves, but I did give you props on the streets of DT Minneapolis a few years ago...

2. I'm reading a ridiculous book called "I Lived to Tell It All" the story of George Jones' bizarre life. A fantastically talented, driven, white-trash, redneck drunk is a good summation of the man (not to mention the Best Country Singer Ever). Anyway, amongst the many sordid stories is the time he had an run-in with Porter Wagoner at the Grand Old Opry.

George was a nice guy when sober, but a terrifyingly violent pyschopath when loaded and on pills. One night at the Ryman, he got the notion that Porter was banging Tammy Wynette (his then wife). George had been drinking across the alley at Tootsie's and was good and cocked. He saw Porter go into the men's room and followed him in.

"I want to see what Tammy's so proud of" he yelled as he grabbed Porter's unit and twisted it violently, causing Wagoner to wet himself (and his stage outfit) and cry aloud in a pain most of us would dare not even think about. It may sound like a whopper, but both men have corroborated this tale and why would George even bring it up?

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