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Saturday, November 30, 2002
Welcome to the Machine

This morning I was a witness to what I believe to be the nadir of customer service in this country. It was about 10:30 AM, and there I was, minding my own business and preparing myself for the rest of the day (that is, mixing up a pitcher of bull shots to ease me into the noon hour, when the drinking in earnest typically begins). Then the squealing, electronic machine gun blast of my phone ringer goes off, breaking me out of my serene, zen-like trance. Snapping out of it and sprinting across the apartment and into the bedroom, where I keep the phone, I breathlessly answered...and was immediately confronted with a three second pause, followed by an automated voice announcing that something called Conseco Finance had an important message for me about my account. And then I was put on hold.

An odd development here. A company I've never heard of before, and with whom I'm quite sure I've never done any business with, programs a machine to call me, hires Stephen Hawking to do a voice over about some imaginary account, and then, because they're so busy, they put me on hold. The question arises, why bother even placing the call if you're to busy to talk to me in the first place. But I guess that's how things are done at Conseco Finance.

After about a minute of sitting on hold and coming to terms with what modernity hath wrought upon my life, I started to get a little irritated. By the second minute of being on hold I started to become fairly outraged. By minute four, my anger had subsided a little as I realized at least they were giving me some time to compose an effective combination of obscene words I could use on the human representative that would inevitably be thrust on the line (and into the lion's den). By minute five of being on hold, I found myself looking forward to the next interaction as there are very few instances in one's life where you can take time to prepare an articulate savaging of those who would seek to foul your life with their callous indifference and disregard of your time. But alas, I never got the chance. I heard one more recorded exhortation that they "appreciated my patience" and then I was summarily disconnected.

To summarize, I receive an unsolicited call on a Saturday morning (for what I presume was the purpose of marketing), I'm greeted by a misleading, uninformative recorded message, I'm put on hold for five minutes, and then I'm hung up on. Now granted I don't have an MBA from Wharton, but it's hard for me to understand how a company makes a profit by doing this. What exactly is the business model here? And what's phase two of your marketing plan, express, overnight, registered mail delivery of an empty envelope?

For some reason this whole experience, that of an unknown organization going out of their way and using their technology just to stick it to me, feels like the customer service equivalent of a CIA predator drone dropping out of the blue to fire a Hellfire missile at the back of my Land Rover. And like an Al Queda operative, I'm completely defenseless for the next assault. But these terrorist bastards deserve their fate for what they've done. On the other hand, Conseco Finance--what the hell did I ever do to you?!

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Making Heroes of the Homeless?

Front page story in today's Minneapolis Star Tribune on the death of a local homeless man. Why was the story on the front page? Beats the hell out of me. After reading the piece I was struck by how unremarkable and uninteresting a life that this fellow had led. And the story clearly pointed out that this man had chosen his lifestyle on the streets so there was not a "this could happen to you or me" angle to it.

But this is not the first time that the paper has eulogizied a homeless man after his death. Last year local columnist Doug Grow wrote a piece on the passing of a guy by the name of Westside which led to this reaction by my brother. What I find disturbing about both of these stories is that the homeless lifestyle that these men chose to embrace is not criticized in any way, to the contrary it's presented as a viable alternative that even can be admired as evidenced by this bit from today's story:

Friends and people who knew him said he lived by his own rules. He was a free spirit.

Yes, you could call him a free spirit. You could also call him a bum. Or a loser. I am not a heartless ogre. Feed the homeless. Give them clothes and shelter. Help them make the most that they can out of their lives. But don't praise them and pretend that there is some hidden dignity in the path that they have chosen. There is none.

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Friday, November 29, 2002
A Fine Line Between Clever and Stupid

Quite a day to give thanks for yesterday. Copious amounts of football, ale, wine, scotch, and turkey which began with a hour and forty five minutes of hockey at 6:00am in the morning and was capped off by watching Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, which is easily the best Thanksgiving themed movie ever made.

Saint Paul's post on how he spent his Thanksgiving is best visualized by imagining the closing scene in the movie where Steve Martin finally arrives at his stately home to be welcomed by his adoring children, grateful in-laws, and beautiful, refined wife who is so happy to see him that her tears of joy flow freely. It pretty much captures Saint Paul's life in a nutshell.

Another highlight of the day was hearing my father in-law's theory on the Wellstone plane crash. It's his belief that the DFL brain trust had read the tea leaves and foresaw Wellstone's ultimate defeat at the hands of Norm Coleman in the election. Willing to do anything to retain his Senate seat they contrived an elaborate plan to sabotage his aircraft and use the resulting sympathy from the public to elect a replacement in his place. Their aims were undone of course by the over the top spectacle of the memorial service. This conspiracy theory was presented with my father in-laws tongue rather firmly in cheek but is it really any more fantastic than what we've heard from elements of the Looney Left?

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A Funny Kind of Peace

The parent organization hosting the MP materials I referenced below, a group called Circle Vision, also has some pictures from their activities at the appearance by President Bush at the Excel Arena back on November.3. Reviewing the kind of "peace and justice" tactics they apparentely advocate, I think its clear why many swing voters went Republican in the days before the election. Also recall that many Democrat analysts believe that the party has gotten too centrist and too accomodating. I guess this is what they think will be the winning strategy in 2004.





Incident at Orange Julius

The Left wing assault on our senses continues in leafy and formerly livable Mac-Grove. The cars on Grand were leafleted this morning by some group advocating "Buy Nothing" and more broadly, for the "Fall of America." It's some group named "Peace MP" - with MP standing for "Moving Picket. " (A Web address was listed on their leaflet, and the complete text of it is listed here.)

Their plan is to wear t-shirts with radical slogans (like "I'm with Stupid?") and march silently around shopping malls to make a statement about - something. Their over riding philosophy seems to be "Buy Nothing" combined with "No War in Iraq" with a touch of "Free Mumia" and perhaps with an eye on lunch, "Free Large Fries". Their target today was the Mall of America. No media reports yet on the what may have transpired down there.

But I must say, we in this neighborhood need to start drawing the line on this vandalism perpetrated by who I presume to be the pampered and restless children of the bourgeoisie down at Macalester. I mean if they get away with leafleting our vehicles with impunity, you know what's next? That's right, in your face bill posting and radical pamphleteering. And these are the exact reasons I moved out of Uptown. Damn - there goes the neighborhood.





Must Hear Radio

Walter Williams is filling in for Rush today, with a live broadcast. (And it's on right now, locally at AM1500 - until 2:00 PM). If you haven't heard Professor Williams, do yourself a favor and tune in as their's no one who combines economics knowledge, libertarian instincts, and sharp wit like Williams. Added bonus - he's going to have Republican Congressman from Texas Ron Paul on for an interview later today. (Paul was also the Libertarian nominee for President a few elections ago). For an example of the Williams style, check out this proclamation from his home page at George Mason university.





The Descent of Dissent

The Star Tribune reports on the defacing of a Norm Coleman billboard in St. Paul. The surprised reaction of the police and their pronouncement that they're investigating it as a potential hate crime (since Nazi allusions were made and Coleman is Jewish) lead me to believe that they think this incident is a new development. Whoever is in charge of this case obviously hasn't spent too much time around the Mac-Groveland neighborhood or on Ford Parkway, as instances of Left wing graffiti and vandalism has been an increasing phenomenon since well before the election.

The billboards on Grand at Ayd Mill Road have been a popular target. The oil company Conoco frequently advertises there and the most recent vandalism incident was the sloppily painted editorial across the billboard's entire length: "Their oil your war - NO WAR ON IRAQ!" This was up for about a week before it was papered over. What is not so easily remedied are the angry little words scratched into the cement on the bridge on Grand over Ayd Mill - "George Bush Sells Your Kids Drugs." I'm not sure how they're going to fix that - or if anyone is even going to try, since it's been up there for over a month already and no attempts have been made to clean it up. And during the election, Coleman yard signs on Ford Parkway were frequently spattered and defaced with gray paint.

I'd say this was enough evidence to establish a pattern. The new slurs against Coleman on the billboard at I94 and Prior seem to have the same kind tone and editorial style as what I've previously discussed. The use of swastikas and the phrase "Newest member of the SS" has the same kind of juvenile, ignorant, name calling quality to them. Which is why the police should probably forget the "hate crime" angle. As hate crimes are traditionally defined, I presume they're implying that perhaps Nazi sympathizers or white supremacists are responsible for this latest act. But these types of goons don't express their hatred of Jews by associating them with their own iconography and history. If Nazi types were responsible, they'd attack Coleman for being a Jew, not by branding him as one of their own.

My fourth generation policing instincts tell me that the person (or persons) responsible for these acts is male, caucasian, single, college-aged, antisocial, alienated from society, unemployed, easily influenced by others, with a below average level of intelligence. Using proper profiling techniques and with the assistance of the newly enacted Homeland Security provisions, I recommend an immediate quarantine of the dorms at Macalester College and a room to room search and aggressive interrogation of all residents. And even if the police don't find the exact perpetrator of these crimes, I'm sure they will yield enough arrests for possession of controlled substances and violations of the Mann Act to more than justify this intervention.





Thursday, November 28, 2002

Pass the Turkey

Happy Thanksgiving. Now back to the unyielding demands of the news cycle.

(You see the commitment we have for you, dear readers, here at Fraters? Other sites are taking the weekend off to spend well earned time with their loved ones and thus abandoning their responsibilities of sorting and filtering the news for your review. Other sites are using up thousands of words and precious minutes of your Internet reading time in waxing philosophic about their many blessings and getting all warm and grateful about their lives. And that?s fine, I?m truly glad for them. But we here at Fraters Libertas choose to break away from the warm glow of familial bliss to continue digging up the latest examples of Al Gore?s ineptitude and Garrison Keillor?s verbal foibles.

Trust me, I could take the easy way out. My lovely wife Suzanne?s parents flew in all the way from Marin County to spend the day with us here in St. Paul. Per usual, her two brothers and their families are here too. Throw in my parents and two siblings, uncles, aunts, three sets of cousins, my law partner, my publicist and all their respective kids and nannies. Mix in a house full of neighbors, friends and the Elder (who has agreed to tend bar and clean up after the party) and our little Victorian manse in Crocus Hill is almost at capacity for love and good times. We?ve finished the meal, I gave my traditional toast/poignant recap of the emotional state of our lives, the applause and hugging have about wrapped up, and now the urbane conversation over cocktails begins (and won?t end until the wee small ones tomorrow). And where am I at this moment? Back in my den and back on the blogging beat. But I better get to the point here, as Suzanne has just entered the room, with a freshly poured Bushmills rocks for me, and she?s very forcefully implying we need a little ?face time? before we have to return to our hosting responsibilities.)

So anyway, did you happen to catch Garrison Keillor on CNN earlier this week? He was on live with Aaron Brown (another Minnesota native) and I haven?t seen so many softballs thrown at a celebrity newsmaker since Louie Anderson was spied doing time in the dunk tank at the Washington County Fair back in 1987 (I think, and hope, that was for charity). Here?s the relevant exchange regarding Keillor?s comments about Norm Coleman and as you read this, think of how the tone is just slightly more cordial and deferential than what someone like Rush Limbaugh faces whenever he shows up on the Today Show or some other such mainstream TV outlet:

BROWN: You want to talk about this political flap you created?

KEILLOR: Well, no, but I certainly can.

BROWN: You wrote -- I would describe it as an angry column about the senator-elect from Minnesota, Norm Coleman. You basically called him a fraud.

KEILLOR: (UNINTELLIGIBLE) angry diatribe.

BROWN: Called him a fraud.

KEILLOR: A screed. It's very seldom that one gets to write out of pure anger, especially at my age. You feel it so seldom. So when you do, it seems to me you ought to take advantage of it.

BROWN: And you did. You unloaded on the guy.

KEILLOR: I wrote a piece for Salon.com. They asked me to write it. And the amazing thing about it to me is the power of the Internet and all of those people who just lift this piece of passionate writing and they send it off to all of their friends, and they send it off.

We have no idea how far this gets around the country, but this thing was bouncing back to me within days from people I barely know. I really was astonished. We don't have any measurement for that, do we?

BROWN: Do you think -- do you think the column -- the piece was a bit harsh. You talked about his family in the piece. Do you think it was a bit...

KEILLOR: It was an angry diatribe against a very beautifully packaged politician. And one could have written in different ways but I come from St. Paul. We're a small town, we know people. And so that's how I wrote it.

BROWN: Do you think you'll do the radio program forever or do you see a time when you'll step away from it?

KEILLOR: I think I'll do it for another five years. It's a lot of fun. It's a great deal. It's you know, I get to play a cowboy. I get to play a private eye. I get to smoke a cigar on the radio. I don't smoke a cigar.

BROWN: Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming in.

KEILLOR: Good to see you.

BROWN: Please come back.

KEILLOR: Thanks.

BROWN: Garrison Keillor. We'll be right back after a short break.






Make Sure That Hand Is A Fist

From FOXNews.com a report on those allegedly behind today's attacks in Kenya:

A group calling itself the Army of Palestine has claimed responsibility for both attacks. In a faxed statement, the previously unheard-of group said it had sent two groups of attackers to Kenya to "make the world hear once again the voice of Palestinian refugees, and to cast light on Zionist terrorism in the West Bank and Gaza."

So the way to cast light on "Zionist terrorism" is to kill innocent people on vacation at a hotel? Yeah, this will garner much sympathy for your cause. What really is pathetic is what George Bush the elder might call the utter chickenshittedness of attacks like this. Blowing up a hotel to kill women and children is hardly a feat to be proud of.

Let's hope the promise made the Israeli Defense Minister is realized. And soon. From the Jerusalem Post Internet Edition:

"Our hand will reach them," Defense Minister Shaul Mofaz, said of the attackers. "If anyone doubted that the citizens of the state of Israel cannot stand up to the killers of children, this doubt will be removed."





Number 1,018 (With A Self Inflicted Bullet)

Hindrocket at Power Line does some inventive primary source reporting on the composition of the limited audience for the new Al Gore potboiler "Joined at the Heart":

I confess that I have not yet read Al Gore's new book, Joined at the Heart. Of course, I'm not alone. Al and Tipper's study of American family life currently ranks #1,018 on Amazon's bestseller list. And I have to suspect that most of those sales are institutional--gray-haired librarians in birkenstocks ordering copies for high school kids, and so on. It's hard to imagine a lot of actual people buying this book and reading it. Despite the Gores' massive media push and whatever institutional sales they can muster, it is heartwarming to see their book languishing far behind G. Gordon Liddy's When I Was a Kid, This Was a Free Country, #95, and of course Bob Woodward's Bush at War, #2. It is also fun to read the Amazon reviewers' comments on Joined at the Heart: "Poor Al, another blockbuster fizzled. I hope this guy can find employment somewhere." And: "Absolute nonsense! I tried very hard to finish this book but it was impossible! It would surely be a violation of the Geneva Convention to require anyone to read it." Most revealing, however, is Amazon's listing of other books bought by the people who purchased Gore's latest. This list is interesting because it is computer-generated rather than subjective. The books most commonly purchased by buyers, in addition to Woodward's book about the war, were Paul Begala's It's Still the Economy, Stupid: George W. Bush, the GOP's CEO; The Natural: The Misunderstood Presidency of Bill Clinton, by Joe Klein; Vincent Bugliosi's The Betrayal of America: How the Supreme Court Undermined the Constitution and Chose our President; and Jews for Buchanan: Did You Hear the One About the Theft of the American Presidency?, by John Nichols. In other words, the only people who actually shell out money for Al Gore's book are embittered, hate-filled, over-the-top, partisan Democrats. This doesn't bode well for Gore's effort at reincarnation.




The Final Word on Moore (Amen)

I haven't seen Bowling for Columbine yet, but I will. It endeavors to deal with a topic I find of interest and I recognize the ability of Moore to effectively utilize propaganda to make a point, at least among his core constituency. But I will have to wait until I can be assured of being with an audience not prone to using derisive laughter as social commentary. Yes, you self-anointed cognitive elite of Uptown and Dinkytown, we know you agree with the dubious conclusions and broad, hoary clichés presented in the film, you don't have to repeatedly announce it to me by loudly gurgling your phony laughter in my ears! (Sorry to yell, but my recent experience in viewing The Trials of Henry Kissinger at U Film Society has left my nerves kind of raw on this matter.)

In any regard, I think the sun may have finally set on any pretense of credibility for Moore's tactics and conclusions. The wanna be National Review of the Left, The American Prospect, has a damning review by Garance Franka Rute, called Moore's the Pity. And listen up Michael Moore, when your natural constituency (that is people with names like Garance Franka Rute) turns on you, it's time to consider another career.

While she credits Moore for approaching the topic with an open mind (which is way too charitable for anyone who's ever seen a previous example of Moore's work), her specific criticisms focus on the fact that he misses entirely the dynamics of gun violence in the US:

Moore again and again focuses on America's culture of fear, especially fear of young black men, and then blames American political discourse, big corporations and especially television news for creating a climate in which -- to judge by the people in his movie -- uneducated rednecks arm themselves to the teeth, lock their doors and prepare for an invasion by the black "hordes." And then he leaves it at that.

Though liberals have doubtless cheered this movie in part for focusing on crazy white people with guns instead of the usual stereotypes about violent minorities, there is no way that a movie that so completely elides the devastating impact of gun violence on blacks and cities can arrive at anything like a reasonable portrait of America, let alone a valid conclusion about the causes of gun violence.

There is a point at which an effort not to perpetuate offensive stereotypes turns into an impoverishing erasure of the facts. So here are some facts to chew on, courtesy of the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control and the U.S. Department of Justice: In 2000, 16,586 people in America took their own lives with guns; 10,801 were murdered by others firing them. Despite making up only 12 percent of the population, blacks constituted 53 percent of the gun-murder victims or 5,699 people, in 2000. Young black men ages 14-24 make up only 1 percent of the U.S. population but around 15 percent of the murder victims. Nor are Moore's suburban white gun owners, no matter how ridiculous their fears, the reason that black Americans were six times more likely to be murdered than whites in 1999, and seven times more likely to commit homicides.

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Wednesday, November 27, 2002
The Man Dies But The Logos Live On

Sad news to report that yesterday Ralph Engelstad died after a long battle with cancer. Ralph was philanthropic millionaire who donated large sums of money to his and my alma mater the University of North Dakota in Grand Forks, North Dakota over the years.

He played hockey at UND as a goalie back in the 50's and was probably best known for his donation of funds to build the state of the art hockey arena on campus that bears his name. After construction of the arena had begun the school was considering changing its nickname from Fighting Sioux to something a little more politically correct.

When Ralph heard that the school was close to dropping the Fighting Sioux name he issued an ultimatum, something to the effect that if the name were to be changed he would cease funding the arena and let it rust in the harsh North Dakota elements. Not surprisingly the school relented and UND remained the Fighting Sioux. To ensure that the nickname would endure he had the Fighting Sioux logo embossed just about everywhere it could be including at the end of every row of seats and in the marble floor of the lobby. Ralph Engelstad may be gone but his legacy at UND will live on. And that's a damn good thing. R.I.P. Ralph.

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Another Reason For Me To Consider Getting To Work On Time

The Star Tribune reports thousands of $20 and $50 bills, floating about in the car exhaust at I94 and Dale this morning. No this wasn't the latest way for the Saint Paul School Board to distribute their latest massive increase of funding via increased property taxes. (Although given their history academic performance, I can't imagine this method could produce any worse results).

Apparently a bag of money fell off of an armored truck, which was operated by the American Security Corporation. And as an American, I'm ready to enlist in any class action defamation of character law suit any of our ambulance-chasing lawyerly readers might want to gin up. If Voltaire were still around, and scribing an uninspired and dreary editorial column for one of the local dailies, he might write (pending a successful investigation of the national origin of the company's owners and of its corporate charter): "The American Security Corporation is neither American nor Secure nor a Corporation." I hereby grant Joe Soucheray and Doug Grow complete rights to that phrase, without even needing to cite me as a source.

Needless to say, by the time by the time I dragged myself away from the blissful bonds of slumber and onto the highway of broken dreams, there wasn't a red cent of easy money to be found. But I will say in my wake I did leave copious amounts of antifreeze from my coolant reservoir, as I've been having a bit of a leakage issue the past few days. The car's in the shop now. Developing....





The Real World of Unwanted Pregnancy

No need to hook me up to the poly I'll admit that watching MTV's The Real World is one of my guilty pleasures. The best part is not actually watching the show but rather the discussions that I have among my cadre of friends who also tune it in weekly. This season has spawned a controversy as to which of the housemates is the least intelligent. The two finalists are Brynn and Trishelle also known as Trashelle by my friends for her promiscuous behavior.

Until last night's episode the debate had been evenly waged by supporters of both sides and no clear cut winner had emerged. Now I may not be the most objective observer as I'm firmly in the camp that believes that Trishelle should wear the dunce cap but I think the scales have finally tipped and our side is now able to claim victory. Probably only two episodes into the season Trishelle started banging the show's Alpha male Steven
and they have been "hooking up" on a regular basis since then usually after both have consumed thirteen or fourteen cocktails at the nightclub in their hotel. Last night it came out that during this entire time they had not used condoms during their forays nor any other form of birth control. And now Trishelle is late and has to go to see a doctor. Imagine that. Having sex numerous times without using protection and now she might be pregnant. Who could have seen that coming?

The truly stupid thing about it is that way that MTV hypes sex on the show they would have been more than happy to shower these idiots with condoms. In fact there likely are condoms all over the house already through some sponsorship MTV worked out with Trojan. If you open a closet they probably come spilling out all over the floor. Candy dishes are filled with them in assorted colors and styles. When it comes time to clean house they have to pick up all the condoms that fell behind the couch. It takes a conscious effort to live in the house and not think about using condoms.

And that's why I think it's safe to say that Trishelle deserves to wear the crown as the dumbest of the dumb (the dumb being any Real World cast member of any season of the show). It'll be something she can tell her kids about someday (possibly someday soon).





Tuesday, November 26, 2002

Freak (or fan) of Nature

This morning in Minnesota it's clear, sunny, and twenty degrees above zero. And I love it. I love this kind of weather. Brisk, sharp, crisp. However you choose to describe it there is something about days like this that makes me feel alive. Maybe it's my roots stemming from here in the sometimes frigid Upper Midwest. When we were kids cold weather never prevented us from outdoor activities be it play or work.

And on the subject of work I believe one of the reasons for the fabled "work ethic" of folks from this area (which by the way is rapidly disappearing based on my retail experiences in the last few years) is that in times gone by hard work was not an option because of the climate. If you didn't get out and chop enough firewood to last the long winter you'd end up frozen stiffer than Al Gore and they wouldn't even be able to bury you till the Spring thaw (usually sometime in June). Sort of a culling of the herd by Ol' Man Winter. Today those of us whose ancestors survived still have a spark of this self preservation instinct remaining and that's what drives us to get up and go to work (or maybe it's the T1 internet connection that allows for much faster surfing).

Another reason for my love of days like this is that if you listen closely you can almost hear the ice thickening. The ice on the local lakes that is. The ice that, if we get a couple of more cold days and no snow, will be ideal for skating. Those of you who have never glided across the clear, smooth ice of a frozen lake with the sun reflecting off it and warming your face have not experienced one of life's simple yet joyous pleasures. Call me a freak but I'm a fan of this weather.





Maybe We Can All Get Along Afterall

Can you still be friends with someone who listens to Noam Chomsky?

Robert Toth at OpinionJournal.com thinks so and tells us how it can be done. I don't have this problem with too many of my friends (usually I'm the moderating voice of reason believe it or not) but Toth's approach is instructive, especially to those who sometimes forget that there is more to life than politics. However, I can definitely relate to the frustration he sometimes feels when dealing with "rational" people who embrace the views of the hardcore Left:

Sometimes I want to grab people by the collar and start shouting. "You have a degree from a major university. You have a serious, responsible job. You've lived in the world, as an adult, for some time now. Do you really believe that the attorney general is going to round people up and send them to Christian re-education camps? Do you really believe Israeli soldiers are the moral equivalent of suicide bombers? Do you really believe any of this craziness will get solved by sitting across a table from a lunatic dictator and pretending he's not wearing a .45 on his belt?"





Prix Nix Blix Fix

Any chance Variety has a man in Iraq covering the soon to be conducted UN inspections for weapons of mass destruction? If so, upon the Iraqis first obfuscation or quick change scam behind a locked palace compound gate, I humbly submit the above headline, which would look down right stately in 200 point scare type. Unfortunately, with the new J. Lo./F. Murray Abraham vehicle ?Maid In Manhattan? due for release December 13, I fear Variety won?t have a reporter to spare and we?ll be left with the New York Times using something like - ?Small Sovereign Nation Declares Its Rights for Self Determination Against US Aggression.?




Hicks Nix Sykes Tricks

I suppose the imment loss of one's job shouldn't be funny. But since it's not my job, the laughter comes easy. And it would be hard for anyone who's ever been employed at a call center to not be amused at a report coming from the Pioneer Press: Sykes To Close Minnesota Call Center, Fire More Than 200 Workers. (Note, the headline writer needed 11 words to capture the essence of this mundane little story; who's writing these things, Gore Vidal!?).

It seems that after only 2 years in business, a 432-seat call center in Eveleth MN is shutting down, and according to the article, it's because the workers were unreliable dumbsh*ts.

The Eveleth call center never employed more than 300 workers, and had an annual turnover rate of about 100 percent (emphasis added).

According to a recent state survey of 87 Sykes employees in Eveleth, fewer than 5 percent had a four-year college degree.

By contrast, more than 99 percent of staff at Sykes call centers in Costa Rica, India and the Philippines have completed college, said [CEO and company founder John] Sykes, and 35 to 40 percent have master's degrees.

"They consider a call-center job a career," he said.


You can almost hear Mr. Sykes's disappointment and hurt feelings as he says that. Like he felt he was throwing this great party up in Eveleth and nobody showed up. Well let me tell you something, Mr. Sykes, you weren't throwing a great party. In fact, I suspect your party had all the joy and promise of the 2002 DFL election night gala at the Raddison. Or all the spontaneous revelry and subtle pleasures of the New Year's Eve bash at Hot Shots in Burnsville.

Call center jobs generally suck. Astoundingly suck. Astronomically suck. The kind of suck normally associated with the event horizon around a black hole. The kind of suck usually seen during .... well I'll stop there, before the Fraters site starts to get innundated by people typing "suck" into a seach engine for all the wrong reasons. (Coincidently, most of these people actually work in call centers).

How do I know this? I had the distinct pleasure of wiling away my first post college working years in command of a telephone center in town here, with a company that's now out of business. (No causation has ever been established between these two variables--although their lawyers did repeatedly try).

Most of the jobs at a call center consist of working the phones, either dialing out or accepting incoming calls. At my previous employer we did only the former, and that means cold calling. We did marketing research, which is marginally better than trying to sell something, but the dynamics of each are similar. That is, spending all day (or all night) calling people who don't want to talk to you and don't have any self interest to participate in what your attempting to accomplish. Generally speaking, those few who will participate are desperately lonely, hopelessly deranged, or gloriously drunk. (Given Eveleth's proximty to Canada--I'm surprised they didn't have more success, at least in interviewing their Northern neighbors ).

The vast majority who don't want to cooperate communicate their wishes by tersely spitting "not interested" and hanging up or by shouting obscenities and slamming the phone down. Needless to say, neither reaction is conducive to the creation of high self esteem or satisfaction in one's job. In other words, the essential nature of the job itself has a negative affect on employee morale.

Throw in the need to be articulate and pleasant and professional and quick thinking if you?re to achieve any level of success at all. Plus the unyielding demands to "PRODUCE PRODUCE PRODUCE!" from the overbearing, unsympathetic and wildly unrealistic management, the use of poorly written scripts and surveys, and malfunctioning telecom equipment and computer hardware and what are you left with? An extremely difficult job with no status that provides no personal benefits whatsoever. Oh and did I mention that these jobs are usually hourly (and low) wage based, with no medical benefits?

Management of these companies are left left hiring only those who can't find work anywhere else, those who can compete only on availability and on price. This is why companies like Sykes choose to put their call centers in cities like Eveleth, cities that are presumed to be full of people who don't have any other options. But I guess they were wrong.

I do consider it a sign of the general health of our economy that we don't have those with college degees attempting to fill these positions. People go to college specifically to avoid a lifetime of work spent in spirit killing drudgery that provides no material benefit. And as long as there are college graduates in India and Costa Rica and the Phillippines lining up for this opportunity, Sykes is exactly right when he says:

If you are not a global company today, you are not going to be in business tomorrow."

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Monday, November 25, 2002

Whooo Would Want To Spend A Night With The Owls?

After reading a story in Sunday's Minneapolis Star Tribune on the The Flops, a band composed of former Trip Shakespeare members John Munson (now of Semisonic fame) and Matt Wilson, and seeing that they were playing this Friday at the noted Minneapolis night club First Avenue I was thinking I might be making some plans for the show. But then I noticed that the Owls were opening for them. The friggin' Owls. I saw the Owls last year at a performance by Matt's brother Dan Wilson and was moved to write about the show in a piece called Artists? Hate em' . Here's a quick excerpt on the Owls:

The Owls? What the fug?

They begin playing and the situation goes from bad to intolerable. The group features two guys who exude as much masculinity as eunuchs and two broads who look like music students from Macalestar.

Stage presence? Zero.

My dreaming of John Belushi smashing your guitar to pieces factor? Infinitely high.

In a cute little twist the Owls switch instruments between each song.

See I played the drums on that song now I play the guitar. Aren't we all incredibly talented? No you're all incredibly annoying and none of you is truly proficient at anything.

Egalitarianism aside wouldn't it be better if the one who was the best guitar player would play the guitar, if the best drummer would drum, and if the best singer would sing? Now I'm not against a guy or gal picking up a different instrument from time to time or having someone other than the lead singer doing a song. But when you rotate on each and every song it's pretentious BS. We had to suffer these fools for over thirty minutes.


I still may go see the Flops on Friday. But I will not subject myself to the Owls again. A man can only take so much in one lifetime.





Do You Suppose There's A Connection?

A rather illogical editorial in yesterday's Minneapolis Star Tribune (regular readers of the paper will not be stunned since logic is not a hallmark of the editorial board) on the future of NATO. The editorial begins by scolding the United States for acting without NATO in Afghanistan:

For Washington, that means taking NATO seriously and working with it -- rather than saddling Silver, assembling a posse of "the willing" and riding off like the Lone Ranger in search of the bad guys. After Sept. 11, the NATO ministers invoked Article 5 of the NATO treaty -- which meant they considered the attack on the United States an attack on them. They were signaling very seriously their willingness to fight alongside the United States in the war against terrorism.

The United States effectively said, "We'll call if we need you." It wanted a free hand to prosecute the war as it saw fit, without needing to consult and perhaps compromise with its NATO allies. Various members of NATO have been involved in Afghanistan, but the war has never been an officially NATO action. The Europeans were quite put off at the rebuff, and they grumble a lot at what they see as an American-imposed division of labor: The United States fights, and the Europeans do the "social work" necessary to clean up after the dust settles.


But in the next breadth it goes on to say that the European members of NATO have not spent enough money on defense spending in recent years and so, with the exception of the British and to some extent the French, are not able to provide any meaningful military contribution:

The Europeans have some thinking to do also, beginning with overcoming their aversion to updating and properly funding their military. It's fine that Europeans have a stronger aversion to war than Americans do; they've lived through a great deal more of it. But to be taken seriously at NATO, they need to demonstrate substantial military muscle. Right now, only Britain really can do that. France is beginning to invest more, but Germany's economy is so sick -- and its government so averse to the reforms that would help it improve -- that prospects are poor for a more robust German military any time soon.

I don't think it's beyond the bonds of imagination to make a simple connection here which the paper fails to do. The reason that the U.S. did not involve NATO directly in Afghanistan is that no NATO nation other than Britain has the ability to project force beyond the European theater. NATO's invocation of Article 5 after September 11th was a nice gesture but that's all it really was; a gesture. The last time that the U.S. military acted under the umbrella of NATO was in the former Yugoslavia in 1999 and it wasn't pretty. Bureaucratic haggling over target selection, leaks within the bloated NATO command, and indecisiveness among top NATO commanders caused the bombing campaign against Serbia to be dragged out much longer than necessary. Why would the U.S. want to saddle itself with burdens like these while gaining no tangible military benefits for operations in Afghanistan? The U.S. did work with the few NATO countries who could help in Afghanistan but since the U.S. was doing most of the heavy lifting it wanted to call the shots and rightfully so. The paper may not like the "we blow stuff up, you clean things up" relationship that exists between the U.S. and most of the NATO countries today but given the realities of the large disparities in military power that exists it is the only one that actually works.





Saturday, November 23, 2002

Have You No Sense of Decency Sir?

That's the question that should be asked of University of Minnesota football coach Glen Mason if he accepts a bowl bid following this fraud of a football season that has mercifully ended today with another loss at the hands of Wisconsin. That was Wisconsin's second Big 10 conference win of the entire year by the way. By virtue of the Gopher's overall 7-5 mark they are bowl eligible. Bowl deserving is an entirely different matter. Before the Big 10 season began they won four games against against teams, with the exception of noted football powerhouse Toldeo, so pathetic that even the Little Sisters of the Poor have too much self respect to schedule games against them. No team is too bad for Mason's thirst for meaningless victories though and playing these patsies prepared the Gophers so well for their Big Ten schedule that they were 3-5, dropping their last four games of the year and only managing to beat Northwestern, Ilinois, and Michigan State all of whom are having terrible years. Yes, it will be with great pride and expectation that Gopher fans can look forward to a trip to Laffeyette, Lousianna or maybe even lovely Detroit (perhaps a bid to the Eight Mile Bowl?) for their well deserved post season reward. Maybe it's time for a big raise for Coach Mason after another stellar year. Ski-u-mah baby.





When Did Michael Kinsley Become Dave Barry?

I mostly know Michael Kinsley as the bemused and incredulous counterweight to Pat Buchanan during the glory days of Cross Fire on CNN. He was articulate and had a good eye for identifying and taking apart logical inconsistencies (fisking before fisking was cool). And I?ve always considered him the closest the Left can come to the multitude of quality commentators produced by their opponents on the right (George Will, Bill Kristol, Michael Barone, etc.).

But who knew he was funny? His latest column for the Washington Post, ?Curse You Robert Caro!?, concerns his experiences as a judge for the 2002 National Book Award for nonfiction. Here?s a sample:

Well, imagine that you are sitting on the floor, surrounded by clouds of despair and mountains of Styrofoam packing popcorn. You tear open the next shipping envelope and out comes "A Certain Curve of Horn: The Hundred-Year Quest for the Giant Sable Antelope of Angola." Once again: No offense intended to the author of what may be a brilliant book. But the title seems designed to repel invaders rather than welcome visitors. If, with superhuman energy, you work up enough curiosity about the Giant Sable Antelope of Angola to at least open the book, the phrase "hundred-year quest" will kill it right off. And if your interest survives that second wave of defense, it will not, in its weakened state, have a chance against "curve of horn" -- a great who-cares phrase made even greater by the modifier "certain," which implies that the differences among curves of horns of animals in Angola that this book is concerned with are not even large or easily noticeable. Expecting us to overcome all these barriers and read the book anyway: That is what's unfair.





Playing by Al?s Rules -
He?s Making Silly Sounds, I?m Making Funny Faces


With Al Gore?s recent media blitz, it?s clear he?s in the midst of unveiling the latest reinvention of himself. Focusing like a laser beam on winning the hearts and minds of soccer mom?s everywhere, it appears we now have the soft and sensitive Al Gore, who feels compelled to opine about the issues most critical to our country?s future, namely, ?love? and ?play.? Anyone who caught excerpts of his recent interviews with Katy Couric or David Letterman has gotten a good look at the Al we?re probably stuck with for a while, at least until the poll numbers go south, or until he sees the need to reach out to the Joe Six pack demographic. FYI - that would be me (insert Barney Gumble-like belch here.) (Snooty critics of mine - insert Bryant Gumble-like sniff here).

But until then, prepare yourself for more wisdom such as this, taken from Al Gore?s new book (co-written with his wife) "Joined at the Heart". And when reading this, I dare you to not think of Al?s pedantic, condescending, haughty Southern drawl - because you can?t, it?s impossible.

Chapter 1 - Love

In order for us to feel "okay" here on earth, we have to love and be loved -- just as we have to breathe in and breathe out.

Love is not simply a feeling; it is a powerful elemental force that molds our lives and binds our families from the moment we are born. It is invisible, much like gravity. But just as you know gravity is present when you feel the ground beneath your feet, you feel love's presence when your beloved walks into the room, or when you touch the tiny fingers of your grandchild reaching out for your hand.


Chapter 3 - Play

Just as family is the place where we learn about love, it is also the place where we learn how to play. In the warmth of our families we learn to delight in simple pleasures, to laugh and giggle, to feel joy, to tell jokes, play games, imagine make-believe worlds, and let our spirits dance. Whether it is playing tag until everyone is out of breath, playing a board game or a card game, making funny faces and silly sounds, or climbing a mountain or skydiving together--whatever it is, the shared experience of play strengthens the family bonds.


Ummmm - OK Al, thanks for the tip (!?). I can only imagine the feelings evoked in the likes of Saddam Hussein or Osama bin Laden over the prospect of this guy directing a war on terror against them. Maybe adding some ?muscle? relatively speaking, as his running mate in 2004 will help. May I suggest either Fred Rogers or Janet Reno.

As we approach 2004, Gore?s inevitable morphing into his next persona, that of a swaggering, macho war chief, will seem implausible. Will those looking for a strong, militarist leader really forget about the neutering Al has willfully subjected himself to? Perhaps not, but in case he needs a little artificial enhancement, there apparently is a product that might just be the key to getting the hitch back in his giddy-up - Neuticles.





Friday, November 22, 2002

An Infuriatingly Good Read

Last week I finished reading The Cell: Inside the 9/11 Plot, And Why the FBI and CIA Failed to Stop It by John Miller and Michael Stone and highly recommend it for anyone wishing to gain a better understanding of the manner in which Al Qaeda operates and doesn't mind the pain that arises from pounding your fists on the table in frustration after learning of the many opportunities that various U.S. intelligence agencies failed to capitalize on that may have been able to prevent the attacks of September 11th. If that isn't enough to get your blood boiling the book's description of the arrogance displayed by Mohammed Atta surely will. I am not by nature a violent man (although a few players in my hockey league may disagree) but I have no doubt that I would have little difficulty summoning up the rage to bare handedly pummel Atta's face beyond recognition and tear him limb from limb if I were somehow able to meet up with him in an other worldly venue of cosmic justice. I'll just have to be content with the belief that one of nastier demons of hell is getting medieval on his ass at this very moment. And for eternity for that matter.




Other Than Hockey What Are They Good For?

Jonah Goldberg has an amusing piece in the November 25th edition of National Review called 'Bomb Canada' which examines the history of U.S./Canadian relations and figures it's high time to slap Canada around a bit to shake them up much like a big brother might do to a younger brother to toughen him up (a parallel incidentally that I would extend to me and my own brother with me playing the role of the U.S. of course). Unfortunately it is not available on line but here's a quick look at what I found to be the highlights:

Canadians have long talked about how they are a "moral superpower" and a nation of peacekeepers, not warriors. While they were never in fact a moral superpower--when was the last time a dictator said, "We'd better not, the Canadians might admonish us"?

Canadians were at one time a nation of peacekeepers who helped enforce U.N. brokered deals around the world (Suez 1956, Congo 1960, etc.). Today, Canada ranks Number 37 as a peacekeeping nation in terms of committed troops and resources, and it spends less than half the average of the skinflint defense budgets of NATO. Chretien talks about not sending troops to Iraq; in truth, even if Chretien wanted to join the Iraq invasion, Canada's role would be like Jamaica's at the Winter Olympics--a noble and heartwarming gesture, but a gesture nonetheless.


And....

Canada is, quite simply, not a serious country anymore. It has internalized the assumptions of U.N.-ology: not just anti-Americanism but also the belief that Western nations don't need military might. As a consequence, they are simply unarmed. If al-Qaeda launched a September 11-style attack from Canadian soil, we would have only two choices: ask Canada to take charge, or take charge ourselves. The predictable--and necessary--U.S. action would spark outrage. We certainly don't need the burden of turning "the world's longest undefended border" into one of the world's longest defended ones. And that's why a little invasion is precisely what Canada needs. In the past, Canada has responded to real threats with courage and conviction (some say more Canadians went south to enlist for war in Vietnam than Americans went north to dodge it). If the U.S. were to launch a quick raid, blow up some symbolic but unoccupied structure--Toronto's CN Tower, or an empty hockey stadium--Canada would rearm overnight.

My preference would be for blowing up the CN Tower. A hockey stadium actually is useful.

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A Conservative Sunrise on the Horizon in the Golden State?

A friend in California sees a brighter future for conservatives in the state where Democrats now reign:

California currently holds the longest uninterrupted run of one party control of both congressional houses as well as the governorship - we'll soon be starting year 5. Also, for the first time ever, all 10 of the statewide offices from US Senate seats to state comptroller are held by Democrats. We are currently in the red $25 billion - 2 years ago they actually lowered the sales tax 1/4% because we had a $10 billion surplus. Gray has called for congress to come back a month early because he has a $5 billion package he wants to pass (think it's a tax cut?). Troubling signs indeed.

I am hopeful that the rest of the country will prosper as I suspect we in California will sink over the next 2 years. But, there is some encouragement in all of this as I've said before. 4 years ago, Davis won his first election by 20%. 2 years ago, Bush lost CA by 11%. And just this month, Simon lost by 5%. Bush currently leads against all phantom opponents out here. If he can make the Dems spend money here by making it close, that will not only be good for him, but really good for us. And if the Bush team can make it clear that our mess is as a result of enacted liberalism, well then I think you'll see something akin to what we saw happen in Texas in the late 80's as they turned conservative.





Thursday, November 21, 2002

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here

I?m not planning on seeing the new Eminem film 8 Mile. Neither the movie?s premise or cast does anything for me. And since I had my sky high hopes dashed on the rocks by Vanilla Ice?s surprisingly wooden performance in Cool As Ice, I?ve abandoned the hopes of finding the next cinematic Elvis from the ranks of skinny, angry, white rappers. (Or chunky, happy, black rappers either for that matter - sorry Sir Mix-a-lot.)

However, Henry Payne reports in National Review Online that the real star of the movie, or at least the primary antagonist, may be the city of Detroit itself, which apparently is presented accurately in all it?s burned out and devastated shame. This white hot spotlight of truth doesn?t reflect well on the city or on the Democratic party, which has had a choke hold on the city?s governance for decades. According to Payne (who also happens to be the editorial cartoonist at The Detroit News):

?The reason hope ends at Central, Telegraph, Eight Mile, and Mack is not because of racism, but government policy. Small entrepreneurs have no confidence that the city will protect their stores. Detroit charges a 1 percent income tax for nonresidents working in Detroit. The city's ill-educated workforce sports a staggering 47-percent illiteracy rate. And a generation of welfare addicts are just now gaining the discipline necessary to keep a job.

The results of these public policies are everywhere. Detroit, Michigan's largest city with 970,000 people, has only one movie theater, the Phoenix on Eight Mile (where a man was shot in the stomach on the film's opening night). It does not contain a single large retail store. Not one. Detroiters must travel to neighboring Dearborn to find a Sears or a Marshall's. Seventy percent of children are born into single-parent households. Kids walking to school along Hamilton Avenue on the city's west side or John R Road on the east side ? just to use two of numerous examples ? pass rows of abandoned buildings (an estimated 10,700 dot the city), dope addicts and criminals often lurking inside. On the city's main street, Woodward Avenue, teenagers serve Popeye's and McDonald's kid's meals from behind bulletproof glass.


Furthermore, the supporters of the political status quo in Detroit seem to prefer burying their heads, rather than facing the issues directly:

8 Mile's relentless depiction of this apocalyptic landscape has provoked cries from Detroit boosters that the film makes Detroit look like one big ghetto. No Detroit public officials attended the film's premier at The Phoenix ? presumably irked by its depiction of the city. The city's Democratic politicians hope that not talking about the city's problems will make them go away.

So 8 Mile is the tale of a young man attempting to overcome the forces of evil in an apocalyptic landscape? Sounds like interesting stuff, but still not enough to get me down to the multiplex - I?ve seen The Road Warrior like ten times already.





A Woman After My Own Heart

Thanks to Mitch Berg at Shot in the Dark for catching yesterday's long overdue fisking of Molly Ivins by Rachel Lucas. Molly's crappy columns have ruined many a breakfast for me over the years and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who gets indigestion reading her illogical pap. As an added bonus Rachael uses a Simpson's ref to describe the culinary preferences and military capabilities of the French.





The Blog Conspiracy

Everywhere you look these days you see folks from the blogsphere turning up all over the place in various traditional media outlets especially radio and television shows. Last night I caught the program World at Large with David Gergen on my local PBS station and was pleasantly surprised to see well know blogger Virginia Postrel appearing with author Russell Banks and David Brooks of Weekly Standard fame as well as author of the witty Bobos in Paradise. I believe that Virginia was described as an author and "social critic" which sounds like a nice gig if you can get it. She apparently was the libertarian voice, while Banks mostly towed the liberal line, and Brooks represented the conservative viewpoint (duh). The topic was "Are We One Nation Indivisible?" with a lot of discussion on the "red and blue" political division of America. Virgina more than held her own while I thought Banks added little other than stressing over and over again how "troubled" he was by the resurgance in patriotism in America since 9/11. But the real star of the show in my opinion was Brooks. He's a very bright guy and was able to flow effortlessly from topic to topic in the rather free flowing forum of the show while clearly articulating his positions and providing plenty of information to back his assertions. Sounds like a good candidate for a blog of his own. Because Lord knows we could use more of 'em.





Mission Accomplished

One more, and presumably final, update on the MPR November Membership Drive totals. I sent an email to MPR asking about their fundraising goal and their success in achieving it and I got a cordial response from a guy in their Membership/Listener Services department. According to him their goal was $1.7 million and they did indeed reach it on Friday afternoon (cue the trumpet fanfare).

Regarding the on air hosts' comments that they were "way, way behind," according to my source, the overall goal is broken down into hourly and daily goals and there were indeed points in the drive where they were not on target and way behind. But due to the "phenomenal outpouring of generosity from the listeners" they were able to make it.

Needless to say, the hosts don't typically make the distinction between hourly goals and the total goal in their appeals. In fact, I've never heard an update as to their success relative to achieving their total goal. But, reasonably speaking, the techniques they're utilizing are designed to maximize contributions, no matter what the goal is, and there's nothing inherently unethical about it. Yet it does feel vaguely manipulative. And I wonder how the MPR news reporters would treat a private company engaged in fundraising who were, say, being investigated by Mike Hatch for "not being upfront with their customers" or engaging in "anti-competitive practices." I guess we'll never know.

Ultimately it appears Garrison Keillor's recent politically charged and regrettable comments on Norm Coleman didn't have a deleterious affect on fundraising for his employer. So I think it's reasonable to presume that either the MPR membership agrees with Mr. Keillor or they simply didn't see a link between their financial support of the station and support for Mr. Keillor's rhetoric. Maybe Tom Daschle's recent comments regarding hate speech associated with radio personalities will open their eyes to the truth. I mean after all, Mr. Daschle is probably a regular listener to NPR and although I don't agree with his characterization of Garrison Keillor as a "Rush Limbaugh wanna be" who else could he be referring to when he says:

''What happens when Rush Limbaugh [and his wannabe's?] attacks those of us in public life is that people aren't satisfied just to listen,'' Daschle, Democrat of South Dakota, told reporters yesterday. ''They want to act because they get emotionally invested. And so, you know, the threats to those of us in public life go up dramatically, on our families and on us, in a way that's very disconcerting.''

''If entertainment becomes so much a part of politics and if that entertainment drives an emotional movement in this country among some people who don't know the difference between entertainment and politics, and who are then so energized to go out and hurt somebody, that troubles me about where politics in America is going,'' Daschle said.


An ominous sign for Garrison Keillor and his future popularity. It appears that even the leadership of the Left has had enough of his hate speech. For their own good, I think it's time for MPR to start distancing themselves from the stench and mabye cut the cord with the Bard from Lake Woebegone, or their next pledge drive truly might end up falling short.





You've Come a Long Way Baby?

Surfing around the broadcast televison channels last night one was able to watch the Victoria's Secret fashion show, with long legged female models prancing around in their unmentionables, and also catch the final episode of The Bachelor, which began weeks ago with a group of young women vying for the chance to marry a handsome, young, career orientated man. Personally I enjoy the concept of both shows, obviously for different reasons, but you have to wonder if this is the world that the Gloria Steinem's and Betty Friedan's had in mind when they fought the "feminist revolution" of the Sixties and Seventies. Thank God that their vision of the future has not yet come to pass.





Wednesday, November 20, 2002

Properly Vetting Your Entertainment Options

When I first heard the news that Pearl Jam had recently released a new album titled Riot Act I actually considered adding it to my music library. Yeah, I somewhat sheepishly have to admit to kinda liking Pearl Jam. Mock me if you will but that's just the way it is. I know that Eddie Vedder is a pompous ass who takes himself way too seriously. Despite his complete lack of appeal the band's music usually works for me although I have to admit to only owning two of their previous albums Ten and VS both early Pearl Jam releases. However, the window of opportunity for my possible purchase of Riot Act closed quickly when I heard that one of the songs on the disc was a satirical attack on President Bush oh so cleverly called....ready for it?

Bu$hleaguer

How did Vedder ever come with the idea for that dollar sign instead of a S? I guess that's what being a creative genius is all about. You see Eddie's not just a musician he has something to say too. Although after hearing the lyrics to Bu$hleaguer I think we can all agree that the world would be a better place if Eddie kept his political commentary to himself. I won't bore you with the whole song here (what kind of hack would post song lyrics anyway?) just this one stanza. The rest of it is mostly nonsensical drivel anyway.

A confidence man, but why so beleagued?
He's not a leader, he's a Texas leaguer
Swinging for the fence, got lucky with his strike
Drilling for fear, makes the job simple
Born on third, thinks he got a triple


Obviously Eddie is trying his best to use baseball metaphors to belittle Bush although all he really achieves is confusing me. Is beleagued to be taken as beleaguered? If so that is a most inaccurate description of GW these days. And if he truly is a "confidence man" why does Eddie ask why he is "beleagued"?

The next line is a fairly straight ahead questioning of Bush's qualifications implying that he is not ready for the big leagues. Not bad Eddie. It actually makes some sense. You get a gold star.

Alas the momentum doesn't carry through to the next line and I'm again perplexed as to just where Eddie is going. Is "swinging for the fences" a bad thing? And how exactly did Bush "get lucky with his strike"? Perhaps Eddie is making a subtle reference to the Supreme Court ruling that gave Bush the 2000 election which some Democrats have since called a "coup". Somehow I doubt it.

Eddie then plays the oil card in the next line with use of the word "drilling" and I believe he wants us to reflect on Bush's alleged lack of intelligence by characterizing his work as "simple". You gotta give him extra credit for originality right? I mean he's not just pulling out the same old tired cliché's about Bush that we've heard over at over again. Right?

And then we get to the last line of this stanza. Oh Eddie. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. You had to use the "born on third, thinks he got a triple" didn't you? For some reason bitter Dems have fallen in love with this little crack and just won't let it go or stop overusing it. Molly Ivins has probably recited it in thirty eight different columns since 1998. The first time it was mildly amusing. The second time it earned a half hearted smile. The third time it started getting old and now it's gotten bleepin' ridiculous. Have you nothing else? Are you that bereft of material?

So what's my point? That Eddie Vedder's an idiot? Of course he is but you didn't need to read this to know that. I was willing to consider buying a Pearl Jam disc even though I know that Eddie Vedder is a pinko. But when I found out that a song on the disc had a blatantly political message I had to draw the line. The artist is the artist and if you want to stay away from artists with a Leftist political bent you'll be left with slim pickings. R.E.M. is one of my favorite groups but if you put me in a room with Michael Stipe to have a discussion of politics it would be a cage match with only one man emerging alive (and I ain't bragging but I think I can take Stipe). I can accept the artist as having a viewpoint that is the polar opposite of my own. What I can't accept is when the art itself does. I've had an ongoing debate with a friend over the fact that I refuse to watch 'The West Wing' because of it's obviously liberal presentation. It's not Martin Sheen the actor that's the problem. It's the show itself. In fact I wouldn't have any problem at all seeing the next well made, politically neutral, movie starring Martin Sheen. Or Charlie Sheen. Or even Emilio Sheen for that matter. When's 'Men at Work II' coming out?





It Won?t Play in Peoria

Went and saw the movie ?Bloody Sunday? at the Lagoon on Tuesday night. It was at the invitation of my dad, which surprised me because he rarely ventures out of Woodbury and into the city any longer. Since he has absolutely no reason to - he?s retired and has a beautiful house and all the amenities, comforts, and privacy offered by the modern American suburb, I don?t blame him one bit. But, this was a movie concerning Irish history, and that?s apparently enough to draw him out. However, I must say, he didn?t necessarily see anything to inspire a return trip any time soon.

The previews shown before the feature presentation began with a Spanish language melodrama about a Catholic priest engaged in an illicit affair with a young, female member of his flock. The key scene, which was interspersed with stylistic shots of him shagging her rotten, was in a confessional where he asked her (en Español) ?Do you have any sins to confess my child?? And she responded, ?I confess ...... only to LOVE!?. Then the schmaltzy romantic music swelled, a lengthy list of international film festival awards received by the movie was listed, and it faded to a prolonged black screen. I guess this was intended to allow the audience to sort through the complexity of emotions that were inevitably inspired by this profound preview. Unfortunately this spell may have been prematurely broken for those sitting near us, as my dad was clearly heard unsuccessfully attempting to stifle a chortle.

The next preview was for a movie also in Spanish and concerned a female bull fighter, who apparently has a dramatic life for some reason or another. The series of smash cuts and non sequiturs left me confused as to the plot line, but I think it has something do with the problems in her personal relationships. Or difficulties in breaking into the matador?s union. Or the psychic trauma associated with her fruitless search for a pair of toreador pants that doesn?t make her nalga look too big. After a dramatic crescendo of schmaltzy romantic music and a lengthy listing of international film festival awards, the preview mercifully came to and end. No dramatic black screen this time, but more laughter from the old man.

Finally a preview for the movie Naqoyqatsi which is described on its Web site as ?A motion picture experience beyond words, NAQOYQATSI merges the power of image and music to plunge into the heart of the hyper accelerated, globally wired 21st century. Mesmerizing images plucked from everyday reality, then visually altered with state-of-the-art digital techniques.? Which sounds all well and fine (if you?re suffering from dementia!).

The segments shown in the preview had a distinct resemblance to the bizarre and reverentially ironic films shown at First Avenue before concerts - that is, random scenes from pop culture and classical Russian cinema and WWII footage and 50?s high school hygiene films, all done with a score composed of Gregorian chants mixed over the top of a Chemical Brothers track.

As I recall, the specific scenes from this movie were that fat guy catching a cannonball in his midsection and bouncing back into the tarp (which was also once memorialized on the Simpsons), then some A Bomb test footage from Bikini Atoll, then Dwight Clark receiving ?the Catch? from Joe Montana, then a Palestinian youth throwing a brick at an Israeli soldier, then some dogs dancing on their hind legs wearing tutus, then Roseanne Barr singing the national anthem, then an American F-16 shooting a missile, then Robert Byrd trying to clear his throat (and getting it entered into the Congressional Record), then ....... well I forget as this hyper accelerated plunge into everyday life started to mesmerize me and blur my consciousness (other wise known as putting me to sleep).

But upon being awaken by the dramatic music crescendo at the end of the preview (which I think was the closing notes of the song ?Officer Krupke? from ?West Side Story? played on the sitar) , I had this strange desire to see a Run Westy Run concert. My dad?s reaction? He leaned over and said to me in a dry tone, ?Somehow I don?t think this one is going to make it out to Woodbury. Damn, I may have to miss it.?





Tuesday, November 19, 2002

The Money Trail of Tears

I have been unable to locate any information regarding MPR's November membership drive and whether or not they reached their fundraising goals. As I reported last week ....(Boy, that sounds official, doesn't it? Next thing you know I'll be throwing it over to the zany weather man with the loud sport coat and bad hairpiece - and that would be you Elder, so get ready). As I reported last week, the MPR hosts were breathlessly repeating they were "way behind" in their efforts and needed a big push in the final days to meet their goals. I guess it's not newsworthy if they succeeded or not, so no one in the media is reporting on it. And since my rather heated and public feud with Cathy Wurzer regarding her overuse of the term "antidisestablishmentarianism," no one over at MPR is returning my calls anymore.

But based on an MPR press release from November 14, it seems either their fundraising goals for this year must be astronomically high or perhaps their desperate, emotional appeals to the listeners are just cynically savvy marketing and manipulation. MPR reports ?modestly positive operating results? for the fiscal year ending this past June:

Minnesota Public Radio's Operating Fund grew by a modest $49,000 in fiscal year 2002, thanks to increased support from members and disciplined expense control.

Operating revenue was $41.1 million in FY 2002 (ending June 30) - up 6 percent from FY 2001, according to audited figures.

The number of Minnesota Public Radio members remained relatively constant at 86,000 in FY 2002. However, their contributions - the biggest operating revenue source - grew by 16 percent to $9.8 million.


There has also been some debate on other Web sites regarding the nature and degree of government subsidy for MPR?s programming. According to the press release, 10% of their operating revenue comes from ?the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and other government support?, which according to my Texas Instruments TU-35 PLUS (the "PLUS" means it does multiplication as well as addition), this results in a cool 4.11 million bones. Yes, that?s a mere tear drop quantity compared to the vast ocean of money the Federal government redistributes to all of its other favored recipients (many of which would be appropriately driven from the marketplace otherwise). But I?m sure this amount isn?t insignificant to MPR?s competitors on the local radio dial, who now are forced to start off every fiscal year $4 million behind in their efforts to create a viable, competitive product and attract listeners.





The Hedonistic Values Crowd?

The good folks over at Power Line first mentioned today's Brian Lambert article in the St. Paul Pioneer Press on the reaction to Garrison Keillor's bitter attacks on Norm Coleman including not so veiled inferences by Keillor that a little something something was going on with Coleman's marriage. I found this section of Lambert's piece revealing:

It is interesting, though, when you ask news organizations, theoretically, what they would do if they found rumors about a politician's personal life to be true. Some say it would be a story in and of itself and that they would run with it. Others say it would require another set of factors ? something that would trigger the so-called "hypocrisy factor," such as pandering to the family values crowd.

Why does the media believe that it is fair play to investigate the personal life of a candidate as long as he's "pandering to the family values crowd", read Republican, but otherwise it is unseemly? Are the Democrats championing themselves as philandering cheaters, in favor of open marriages, and free love? Not that I am aware of. They haul their spouses and kids on stage with them and use the family angle just as much as Republicans albeit not in relation to the same policies and so should be held to the same standards of conduct.





Monday, November 18, 2002
Viva Jihad?

One of the litanies of the "see no evil except in the actions of the U.S." Left (the Noam Chomskys, Susan Sontags, Molly Ivins of the world) is that the September 11th hijackers were motivated to commit their horrific attacks by a number of factors either directly or indirectly attributable to U.S. action or inaction. These factors include the widening gap between the wealthy and poor of the world which allegedly creates an environment without hope for citizens of the Third World and breeds despair and desperate fury. Another factor is the support from the U.S. that allows undemocratic, corrupt governments to stay in power in order to advance U.S. interests which creates resentment and hatred towards the U.S. The fact that the U.S. is allied with Israel which occupies territories acquired through war and has displaced much of the native population is also cited as a legitimate reason for against the U.S. And finally the cultural and economic "invasions" by U.S. commercialism of these poor countries has led to a justifiable backlash whose most extreme form we witnessed on 9/11.

According to the radical Left, these are the causes behind 9/11 and similar terrorist actions against the U.S. and, if we want to know why or look for someone to blame, we had better look in the mirror first.

I was mulling this over last week while sitting in a hotel room in Chihuahua, Mexico and scratching my head. If one is to accept that these are the conditions that led to the terror of Al Qaeda and other groups (a big stretch considering that most of the 9/11 hijackers came from backgrounds of privilege not poverty and none were Palestinians, etc.), then why has there not been a Mexican Jihad against the hated Norte Americanos? (referring of course only to the U.S.--Sorry Canada as usual you're quiet irrelevant in this discussion.)

Consider that while Mexico has made great strides in recent years, it remains a pretty damn poor country. Unemployment is high, many people still go hungry or live in the streets but instead of wanting to come to the U.S. to blow up buildings, Mexicans want to come to the U.S. to build them. Or clean them. Or whatever other job they can find. Hmmm...

Although the U.S. probably wasn't too crazy about the oppressive PRI governments that ruled Mexico for most of the last seventy years, it certainly did not push very hard for real reform and, in the '60s and '70s, tended to look the other way when the military cracked down on dissident Leftist groups. During the last decade, Mexico has become a much more democratic country with the end of the long reign of the "elected" PRI governments, although corruption is still rampant, but the U.S. was hardly a major factor in these changes. And yet the Mexican people today are not resentful and bitter towards the U.S. for the all these years of not supporting real democracy in their country. Hmmm...

And if you really want to start talking about occupied territories from the perspective of the radical Left, what is a more striking example than California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas, all seized militarily from Mexico by the U.S.? (Technically speaking Texas gained its independence from Mexico by rebellion and then became an independent republic for a brief time before joining the U.S. Just ask any Texan and they'll tell you more than you ever want to know about it.) But, other than some tongue in cheek talk of a "reconquistda" of the area through Mexican immigration, the Mexicans seem to have by and large accepted the fact that this land is gone and it's not coming back to them. Why no intifatah? Hmmm...

Finally no country has probably been so overwhelmed with U.S. commercialism than Mexico. U.S. chain restaurants are everywhere. U.S. movies play in all the theaters. U.S. goods are sold everywhere and anywhere. You can't walk ten feet without seeing a Coke or Pepsi sign. But, instead of being repelled by the stories of Walt Disney as Mohammed Atta was, Mexicans embrace the Disney characters (as well as Looney Tunes for that matter) and, rather than seeking to destroy the symbols of American business, they are far more likely to try to emulate them. Hmmm...

So there I was at a loss for an explanation. Then I thought I'd check on the various religions in Mexico. I was unable to find one conclusive answer, but apparently the Muslim makeup of Mexico is listed as "less than 1 percent" according to one source or "numbers several hundred" according to another. This is out of a population of some 105 million people. But this isn't about religion right? Hmmm...

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New Face, Same Old Voices

Apologies to anyone who stumbled across the site today during the design change. Hopefully, the new look retains a decently readable appearance. I expect to hear from anyone who has objections or suggestions. Speak now or forever hold your peace. For some reason the archives are a bit disjointed which is hardly surprising given Blogger's past difficulties in that area. I hope to have them repaired within the next few days. If you really must have that piece that Saint Paul wrote on Buck Humphrey back in August I'm sure he has it securely stored in that Al Goresque "lock box" known as his memory and he'd be happy to rehash it for you verbatim.





Another Shot at the White Kids in the 'Burbs

Over the years one of the favorite targets of writers at the Minneapolis alternative weekly City Pages has been the white middle to upper class suburbanite. These sophisticated city dwelling scribes loathe their ignorant, mall loving, gun toting, SUV driving, Republican voting, cross burning neighbors and never miss an opportunity to mock them be it in an article about smart growth or even a music review on Guns N' Roses:

He was hot. He could howl. And during that four-year-long comet blast, before grunge and alt-rock truly squashed him, Axl provided a universal strip-malled under-the-bridge-kegger soundtrack for suburban kids too timid to appropriate hip hop (or too racist to embrace it). (My pal who sang, "Take me down to the Paradise City/ Where everyone reads Will by G. Gordon Liddy" really nailed a certain segment of GNR's gun-show fan base.)

So if you're a suburban kid and don't like hip hop you're either a racist or a coward? If I didn't know that the progressive City Pages was against discrimination and broad brushed stereotyping I might be a bit offended.





Sunday, November 17, 2002

Must See TV

Circle your calendars - on Sunday, December 8, the C-SPAN program Booknotes features an interview with Michelle Malkin regarding her provocative new book ?Invasion.? I've heard her interviewed a couple of times regarding the book and it appears to be excellent in its scholarship and very timely in identifying the still existing flaws in our country's immigration bureaucracy. But, full disclosure, I haven't read the book - yet. (This is a very subtle hint to those who never know what to buy me for Xmas. But please coordinate your efforts, as I only need one, hard cover, first edition, ideally autographed copy. Preferred inscription - "To Brian, the Fraters Libertas site is a beacon of brilliance and poignant grace in a dark and forbidding world. You prove day after day, conservatism really can have a human face (and an exceedingly handsome one too!). Shine on you crazy diamond! Love and Laughs, Michelle").

Ms. Malkin is the latest in the series of comely conservative female commentators who?ve emerged over the past few years. Besides, Michelle there?s Laura Ingraham (heard from 11 PM - 2AM locally on 1280 AM), Ann Coulter (at least when photographed at a flat angle), and the dearly departed Barbara Olson. An excellent idea for the next political talk/argument show would be to pair some of these women up with the Left?s finest female commentators, say Naomi Wolf, Maureen Dowd or, of course, Molly Ivins. (Sorry for that last shock to the system, but their bench just isn?t as deep at the Right?s - don?t blame me). With the one notable exception, that?s a Cross Fire I?d like to see (or volunteer to be caught up in).





Funny "Strange" Yes - Funny "Ha Ha" No

Over the past few days, the men of Power Line have been endeavored to understand the alleged humor Garrison Keillor. I've added my first hand observations, which are in their posts for Sunday. So no feelings are hurt, any readers above the age of 75, who still fondly remember the puckish antics of Junior Samples on Hee Haw or the witty rejoinders of Howard Viken and Joyce LaMont during the Golden Age of 'CCO, better skip it.





Saturday, November 16, 2002

Against Globalization, But For What?

The Economist exposes the empty arguments of anti-capitalist Naomi Klein in this mocking piece. The last paragraph is classic:

Ms Klein's harshest critics must allow that, for an angry adolescent, she writes rather well. It takes journalistic skill of a high order to write page after page of engaging blather, so totally devoid of substance. What a pity she has turned her talents as a writer to a cause that can only harm the people she claims to care most about. But perhaps it is just a phase.





Desperate, Shameless, and Pathetic

No, this title doesn't presage new online identities for the Fraters Libertas contributers (alhtough these would be remarkably descriptive). No, instead I direct you to the latest attempt of the Left to reconcile their recent electoral defeats - by not reconciling at all. Rather than accepting the judgment of the American people and relinquishing the reigns of power for the next 2 years, they'd prefer to attempt every legal manuever and procedural manipulation possible to hang on. Specifically, they are targeting the three "moderate" Republican Senators and asking them to break their ties with the Republican party by not voting for Trent Lott as majority leader, and thus retaining de facto control of the Senate for the Democrats. It's particulary interesting to note they refer to Jeffords' party switching of last year as an "act of conscience," yet Norm Coleman is pilloried by those such as Garrison Keillor as a cynical opportunist for doing the same thing.





Friday, November 15, 2002

Paranoia Running Deep

Right after the terrorist attacks in September 2001 most Americans braced themselves (and were told to expect) additional incidents in the US in the coming days and months. Thankfully, with a exceptions (the failed shoe bomber and while tragic, the relatively sporadic and low casualty rate shooting incidents), this did not occur. But I do recall most of us engaged in constructive speculation as to what might be the next target and what were our most vulnerable assets. My thinking was along the same lines as others -- nuclear power plants, commercial shipping ports, and cities containing entrenched sleeper cells.

Per ususal, my subconscious was also working out the problem and I still remember having a dream last Fall about the Space Shuttle being brought down out of the sky by a terrorist missile. It was greatly disturbing (a feeling that endured well into my waking hours the next day), not only in it?s practical ramifications but also in its symbolism. The space program, the ultimate projection of the American ideals of achievement and discovery and embrace of the future, the culmination of our entire educational system, the end product of the wealth which could only be consistently created through our capitalist-democratic system. And it could all be wrecked by a couple of jackasses in a rented pontoon boat with an Army surplus Stinger missile. A horribly perfect example of asymmetric warfare.

I?m not sure how big a threat this really is and I?ve mostly rationalized the potential away. Presumably the security measures taken for a NASA mission are extreme. And practically speaking, it seems unlikely that a tactical field weapon would have the ability to bring down a rocket shooting straight up through the sky at escape velocity. But, in the context of the failed governmental protections provided on September 11 and given the psychotic focus and dedication of the adherents to radical Islam, at the very least, such an attempt would have to be included in the realm of possibility.

Which makes three reports coming out today vaguely unsettling. First, this morning we get a warning from the FBI about the potential for ?spectacular? Al Queda attacks that meet several criteria, including ?high symbolic value? and ?maximum psychological trauma? and that the highest priority targets include the aviation sector as well as national landmarks (among others).

Then tonight we get the report that NASA is delaying the launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavor (which was originally to go off this past Monday) until Nov. 22 at the earliest. The causes of the delay are being reported as a mechanical problem with the astronauts? oxygen supply and now an accident that occurred with the robotic arm during repair of the original problem. And now Boeing has announced it also has to delay launching its new Delta IV rocket (due to mechanical difficulties). This launch is rescheduled for November 22 at Cape Canaveral (which is also the site of the Space Shuttle launches).

Obviously , there?s no reason to necessarily disbelieve the official reports on these incidents (space missions have a long history of these types of delays and the Delta IV specifically has already experienced numerous delays, stretching back months) and I have no empirical evidence of anything suspicious. All I have are the coincidental timing of these stories and my own haunted dreams. These along with a quarter will buy you a newspaper, unless you live in Minneapolis - where you?ll get absolutely nothing for those inputs.





Wining, Dining, and Opining

The prodigal son of the Fraters Libertas site, the Elder's brother, formerly (and heretofore?) known as "the Younger," submits another report as he prowls up and down the East Coast, turning his satirical gaze to whatever he sees fit to sumbit. Hopefully this is a sign that his musings will become a more regular feature here. Given his relatively recent re-appearance (and dependence on us to post for him), I'll resist the temptation to fisk him with extreme prejudice.

Everybody Is Stupid But Me

If you get a chance, check out a writer named Tunku Varadarjan. He's probably on the WSJ.com site or others. Funny, smart writer this guy, in the Lileks vein. He was writing today about how he likes to watch Martha Stewart (a guilty pleasure I enjoy as well) and how he appreciates her subtle style unlike that of the now un-trendy Emeril and then writes:

"She didn't mug adorably for the camera in the manner of a moring-news achorette splattering her way through a cooking segment as if to suggest 'I am such a brilliant career woman that I just can't boil water'".

The Modern Woman (with their weak men shrugging and taking it) has completely devalued the fine arts of cooking and cleaning--arts that contribute materially to our enjoyment of life. To attend a dinner party of someone who has the Martha Skills is a great joy. It's all about details and when those details are taken care of relaxation ensues, which then encourages conversation to flow. Adults of our parents generation understood this, from the hordourves (when is the last time someone offered you one before dinner?) to the perfect cocktail to the perfect music during cocktail hour (it's not U2).






Thursday, November 14, 2002

We Got It All Over Them

First off, apologies to the Elder for scooping him on Berg's hoisting of Keillor. Unfortunately, I just so happen to have my finger on the information and entertainment pulse of the Twin Cities and when I get the straight dope first, I can't restrain myself! However, I will make an exception by not posting the results of the Elder's recent urinalysis until his doctor has a chance to discuss it with him first.

In other news, there's another interesting item from this week's City Pages. Paul Demko reports on his experiences as a poll worker. Although I didn't encounter the same difficulties he did, it all seems plausible. Despite the non-letter-perfect attention to detail experienced at his precinct, and accounting for a reasonable level of human error, any rational observer would have to conclude that the procedures and the counts were valid.

I wouldn?t necessarily say the same for what apparently occurred in Los Angeles on Tuesday. Adam Christian relays his experience in the current issue of The American Prospect. From the appallingly inadequate training and low pay for poll workers (and their correspondingly high absentee rate), the lack of a legal requirement for (and a bureaucratic commitment to) an equally partisan composition of judges at each location, to the continued use of punch cards (despite overwhelming evidence of their unreliability), and the lack of separation of judging tasks (thus allowing one person to both register voters and distribute ballots), their system is slack and much more prone to abuse than ours. The machinery of running elections in Minnesota is far from perfect, but I think it may be among the best out there.





You Can't Have One Without the Other?

An interesting piece by Phillip Weiss analyzes the ying and yang relationship of Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David and theorizes that each of them on their own without the other will never equal the success they enjoyed together. I don't know if I completely buy the theory but he makes some excellent observations on their differences in style and temperment.

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An Above Average Fisking of Keillor

I just want to echo Saint Paul's comments on the Mitch Berg post in which he takes on Garrison Keillor's second post-election piece at Salon.com and goes to the core of the hypocrisy of Keillor's attacks on Norm Coleman. Butchers him like a pig he does. I thought I was on this one early but that damndable Saint Paul clearly beat me to the punch.

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Behind the Music on Garrison Keillor

Mitch Berg fights fire with fire and ably suffocates Garrison Keillor's continuing series of vicious attacks on Norm Coleman (which, might I add, are all indirectly subsidized by you, Mr. and Ms. Tax Payer). See below for his razor sharp and spot on accurate conclusions, but do yourself a favor and read the whole thing.

So - Keillor, who mercilessly lampooned Republicans who objected to Clinton's philandering, condems Coleman's personal life;

Keillor, whose treatment of other human beings is - words fail me - execrably horrid, wraps the mantel of Wellstone about himself.

Keillor, whose entire public persona is a three-decade-old artifice, condemns Coleman for being a contrivance.

Keillor, whose entire career and fortune was built on public largesse, condems and distrusts the public.

Keillor, whose personal life would seem to have had its wrong turns and whose professional life would make Gordon Gecko blanche, calls down the Scriptures on the head of Norm Coleman.

Here's a verse I like, speaking of Scripture: Psalms 10:2 - The wicked in his pride doth persecute the poor: let them be taken in the devices that they have imagined. In other words - if he doesn't start reeling in the abuse and hubris, Keillor's afterlife is an eternal Lutheran Church basement lutefisk supper.







Currently Residing in the "Where Are They Now?" Bin

I believe the nadir of a a fading pop group's career might just reached be when you're reduced to playing gigs in Chihuahua, Mexico. That is the depths to which former supergroup Air Supply has now plummeted to since they're performing here on Saturday night. On the brighter side they did sell out the first show and have added a second for this weekend. Not only are they 'All Out of Love' they're also apparently all outta pride and self respect as well.





Bust it Down Poin

A troubling piece by William Safire on the attempts by John Poindexter to secure government access to the most personal of private information. I usually think the "Big Brother" fears are overblown but the possibilities for abuse under this planned system seem intolerable.





The Party's Over

Brad Zellar from the City Pages has an interesting report on the atmosphere at the DFL election night party last Tuesday. I especially like his speculation on the rhetoric of the concession speeches and "what might have been" if the 60's liberalism idealized by some (like the City Pages editorial staff) were to be adopted by the candidates:

"There were so many poignant and stirring episodes in the Democrats' election-night bacchanal at the St. Paul Radisson that one would be hard pressed to name a single highlight. For some it was surely the moment when a fiery Buck Humphrey took the stage and ignited the crowd with a torrent of oratory culminating in this exhortation from Mario Savio: "There comes a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart that you cannot take part; you cannot even passively take part, and you've got to put your bodies upon the gears, and upon the wheels, upon the levers, all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop!"

For others it was Roger Moe's elegant concession speech in the wee hours, in which the elder statesman concluded with this heart-stomper from Robert Browning: "I give the fight up; let there be an end,/a privacy, an obscure nook for me,/I want to be forgotten even by God." When he finished there was not a dry eye in the room. Okay, so I made all that up. The truth was more pedestrian, the atmosphere more melancholic and undignified."






Wednesday, November 13, 2002

Voting With Our Wallets?

Just got finished listening to a replay of MPR's Midday - host Gary Eichten interviewing failed DFL Gubernatorial candidate Roger Moe. Despite the electoral developments of the last week, Moe seemed remarkably composed, forward looking, and even chipper. Contrast this with the post defeat plunge into egotistical soul searching and introspection engaged in by the likes of Al Gore and Skip Humphrey, and I must say Mr. Moe actually seems like a real human being. Characterized as "only 57 years old" by Eichten (and admittedly he does seem much, much older), Moe did say he felt his career as an elected official was over. However, that doesn't mean he's willing to go gently into that good night. He still took a few shots at Governor-elect Tim Pawlenty. Moe hit two themes consistently. First - his campaign "played by the rules" - which is a not so veiled slight against Pawlenty's violation of Minnesota election law by coordinating his advertising efforts with soft money suppliers. Moe also mentioned that he campaigned in an "honest" fashion and took stances that he could actually govern on, rather than just pandering to what people wanted to hear. I interpret this as a criticism of (and prediction of failure for) Pawlenty's pledge to not raise taxes when confronting the expected multibillion dollar deficit faced by the state next year. If Pawlenty didn't have sufficient cause to stick to his guns on this issue, perhaps Moe's catcalling will stiffen his spine. (Moe's catcalling? My subconscious must have helped in formulating that phrase, as I've just remembered a horse running at Canterbury Downs about 10 years ago named "Moe's Cat" - which was a dog that ate up more than his share of my wagers).

Also of note was the alarmed tone Gary Eichten and other MPR announcers were using when discussing their fund raising totals for the November MPR membership drive. Even though the totals are at $1.1 million (as of this writing), Eichten said on several occasions that they were "way, way behind" where they should be and that their final day for the pledge drive is Friday. Is it too much to hope that Minnesota's electoral exodus away from the DFL will also extend to their media mouthpiece, MPR? Will Garrison Keilor's petty and mean-spirited slandering of Norm Coleman in Salon ultimately serve as the same type of self-inflicted torpedo to MPR that Rick Kahn's speech served as for the Mondale candidacy? If MPR does fall short of its fundraising goal, it'll be hard to prove causation on either account, but I can live with the mere correlation. Unfortunately, their failure in the marketplace will probably only result in a request for even greater government subsidy.




If Only 'Will and Grace' Was in Espanol

Spanish must be a far more humorous language than English. I don't speak a lick of Spanish myself but my coworker who I'm in México with is originally from Guatemala and so it's his native tongue. On more than a few occasions this week he has been chatting with some of the Mexicans in Spanish when suddenly they all erupt in uproarious laughter. I'm left sitting there smiling weakly having no clue what just was said. Usually I get a translation of what just transpired and more often than not I have the same reaction. That's not funny. At all. I have to conclude that either they're having some fun at my expense or the material works much better in the lively Spanish tongue. This gringo just don't get it.

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Very, Very Socratic

John Hawkins from Right Wing News has an excellent interview with Victor Davis Hanson on all topics germane to the War on Terror and more broadly, US foreign policy in the 21st Century. As I've stated in this forum before, I think Hanson is a genius in his ability to apply the lessons of history to modern day challenges. I also like how he never condescends to his audience, in his manner of casually dropping references to even obscure historical figures and events, without ever feeling the need to explain or elaborate. Like any good teacher he challenges us to learn about the subject matter at hand, without spoon feeding us a conclusion or even a telling us the expected path to find the answers. The actual pursuit of knowledge is up to us and this is the foundation of any truly "liberal" education. Furthermore, his analysis and examples are stated so elegantly, you actually want to know more about the subject matter. The ability to convey this impulse is a rare quality for any teacher (granted I can only attest this based on my exclusively public school education).

Grab your reference books and check out this exchange, which ends in a deconstruction of the modern cultural elite and their Classical precedents:

John Hawkins: There have been frequent comparisons of late between the United States and the Roman Empire. How valid do you think those comparisons are? Why so?

Victor Davis Hanson: Politically they are absurd. We do not send proconsuls to demand taxes to pay for basing troops. In fact we do the opposite--pay lavishly for bases that protect others. The imperial senate was impotent, and civil war was common after AD 200 -- we have a stable Congress and little strife. For all the European venom, George Bush is not a Caracalla or even Diocletian. The classical topos of luxus, decadence brought about by affluence and leisure -- read Petronius, Suetonius, or Juvenal -- well, that is a real concern. Self-loathing and smug cynicism from an elite are the first symptoms and we see that clearly among those pampered and secure, who nevertheless ridicule the very system under which they operate in such a privileged fashion -- most notably in the arts, on the campuses, and in the media. A Jessica Lange or Barbara Streisand is right out of a Petronian banquet or perhaps sounds like a Flavian princess spouting off at dinner before returning to Nero's Golden House. Norman Mailer is a modern day Eumolpus bellowing on spec, and a Michael Moore a court-jester brought in to stick his tongue out at his benefactors for their own sick amusement.


This exchange regarding modern Europe also bears highlighting:

John Hawkins: How do you see the relationship between the US and Europe changing over the next decade or so?

Victor Davis Hanson: Radically, as we revert to the pre-1945 world of bilateralism with all its dangers. The cold war was an aberration. Note how quickly the Europeans turned on America once 400 hostile divisions were no longer on their borders. They make up a big continent with a big population that deserves pride and power commensurate with their economy and population; so it is time for both of us to recognize that, bring the troops home or redeploy them in more friendly eastern European countries, and as friends let them develop their own military identity. Keeping 200,000 troops abroad to protect a rich continent is unhealthy for all parties involved. We are a different people, and to preserve our common heritage and friendship, we must recognize those divergences and thus it would be safer in the long run to let them defend themselves and not seek such shrillness in lieu of power and independence. We are in a very Orwellian world now where al Qaeda could hit the Louvre or Vatican and do so with impunity -- if not for the overseas reach of the US military -- and yet the Europeans seem to resent their protectors by reason of their very dependency. Add our frontier experience, our original charter that was antithetical to Europe, our strength in mixed races and religions, our greater allegiances to liberty than enforced equality and it is no surprise that after the Soviets are gone we are rediscovering our differences. This is not fatal and yet cannot be laughed off either by careerists and the self-interested. If France had the ability to act resolutely to stop its ships being attacked off Yemen, then it would be less insecure and less vocal. Instead, we have NATO countries bristling over the invasion by Morocco of a barren rock.


Hanson released a book this fall ("An Autumn of War" which is largely a compilation of his NRO columns) and apparently he's got another one coming out next summer. I can only hope this results in a book tour and that one of my friendly, neighborhood bookstores (Bound to Be Read or Ruminator) signs this guy up for a reading. It could be the biggest intellectual happening on Grand Avenue since the Cookie Bouquet store opened last spring.





Tuesday, November 12, 2002
Putting On A Good Public Face

For almost five years I have made trips to Chihuahua, Mexico to visit a plant that the company I work for operates. During that time there have been a considerable number of changes at the plant and in the city. But one thing is always the same.

The receptionist who greets visitors at the main entrance to the facility is always an attractive young woman. Actually more than attractive. Gorgeous is probably a more apt description. There have been at least four of these women during my visits and they always fit the same mold. Beautiful,leggy, babes with killer smiles who aren't afraid to flirt a bit. It is not a coincidence.

At one time companies in the US practised the same sort of discriminatory hiring for such positions and a few probably still do. Janet Reno types need not apply. But today most US firms consider themselves beyond such blantant sexist hiring and probably also fear a law suit if they insisted on hiring only the beautiful babies. In Mexico no such fears or enlightened thinking has yet to take hold. It's yet another example of how even though Mexico is in many ways becoming a modern, technological advanced country in other areas the country seems to be in another era. More on this in later posts.

All I know is that this freedom to put on a pretty face for the public is a damn refreshing change from the corporate political correctness all too evident in the US. And the view ain't bad either.

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Introducing the Real Slim Shady

At halftime of the Vikings-Giants game last Sunday, Red McCombs made an on-field appearance. It was during the ceremony to inter Carl Eller into the Vikings "Ring of Honor," which consists of about a dozen polybag-type banners hanging over the concrete facade of the second deck. (And I must admit it is awe-inspiring to see them gently billowing out in the air-conditioned breezes of the Metrodome.) McCombs was there to introduce former Vikings QB Joe Kapp. He's best known for leading the Vikings to their first Super Bowl loss and also during his brief stint as a broadcaster, for describing former Vikings Kicker Benny Ricardo as a "chili chomper." (A term I would not recommend the Elder use in his presentations in Mexico this week). Joe Kapp then introduced Carl Eller. The crowd was hoping Carl would then introduce his God-awful toupee, as it's become one of the Twin Cities' favorite personalities during its many public appearances over the last decade. But alas, Mr. Eller was wearing a hat.

Getting back to Red, his introduction by the PA announcer drew a perfunctory smattering of applause, mixed in with some half-hearted boos and jeering. The crowd was split in its emotions, between apathy and irritation. Given today's news, I think some consensus can be reached now. The Star Tribune reports Red may not even be willing to pony up the $100 million he originally promised, for what is now estimated to be a $600 million football stadium for the Vikings and Gophers. My guess is that the red-headed stranger's strategy for the upcoming legislative season will be attempt to get a stadium without any investment at all (much like his purchase of the team in the first place) and failing that, ramp up the threats to move. Given this, he can expect a greater level of animosity at his next public event, and I don't think even a co-appearance with Carl Eller's toupee can help him now.








Monday, November 11, 2002
Stylin' But Not Profilin'

I have to admit that I was felt reassurred when I noticed the TSA officiers in their spanky new white uniforms manning the security checkpoints at the airport yesterday. When the plan to make the airport security screeners federal employees was proposed last year I wasn't too crazy about it. Overpaid union workers in a bloated bureacracy? Yeah, we need more of that. But these guys and gals seem to be somehwhat organizied, have a glint of intelligence in their eyes, and appear to actually give a damn. None of which could be said about their living dead red blazer wearing predessors.

My only qualm with the TSA was when I was singled out to be searched at the gate in Houston. Not that I had a problem with their choice. I'm a male between eighteen and forty five and I sport a beard. I should ALWAYS be one of the first passengers that take a closer look at. No, the problem was the officiers who patted me down and rifled through my bag were too damn nice. I suppose they've taken a lot of crap from irate passengers who resent being searched and so they go out of their to reassure you that "it will only take a second" and "you'll be on your way in no time." They also were smiling and joking almost the whole time as if we both knew that this was just an absurd little game that we were playing. When it comes to airport security I don't want nice. I want ruthless efficiency. I want the kind of hardass who stares intently at you just to see if you crack. A modicum of fear ain't a bad thing. A little more nasty. A little less nice.

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Smiley Hipster Chicks

My brother fills in from NYC while I'm on the road in Chihuahua, Mexico. Here's his report-

I'm sitting here in a generic Kinkos in "Soho" sweating my bells off. It is incredibly humid today and rainy and after walking about 50 blocks already today I'm due for a break. My T-shirt is completely soaked through and you don't even want to hear about it's southern neighbors. I should not be sweating in NY in November.

Got into town yesterday at around 4. Had the drummer, Mike, in tow so we had to go the club to drop the drums off before I could check in to my hotel. We get to the joint (in Brooklyn) and it is about what we thought: a dank, smelly, s-hole with concrete floors (apparently easier to spray off the blood, puke and whatnot with a hose). "Eddie" is assigned by the bartender to show us where to stow the drums. He goes outside on the sidewalk and unlocks what looks to be an entrance to the sewer and grunts to Mike to open the doors because they are too heavy for him. He does and we stick the drums in the cellar.

We manage to find our way to the hotel through about an hour's worth of traffic snarls and check in. It's about 4pm and I decide it's time for some of the JB I brought in from the car. The drummer is not imbibing, so I run this one solo. After a few belts, it's time for some chow and we select an outrageously overpriced "Coffee shop". Although overpriced, it did offer some excellent people watching opportunities, which should be called by it's real name, Chick Ogling.

Boots. Plenty of boots for this fall season (Homer to Marge: "No no...leave them on") several going all the way to the knee. Quite a look, this and frankly one I need to see more often. I've known the women in NY are beautiful, but it is really amazing how many you see who just have these perfect faces. Faces like really cute babies (Waylon Jennings: "You look just like a baby in a cradle to me") but all growed up. It's impossible to estimate how much easier life must be for these women, probably in ways they don't even realize. To paraphrase Full Metal Jacket, "The ugly know only one thing--it is better to be pretty".

We hook up with our leader and proceed to the gig. Decent amount of people mulling about. Several members of the tattooed Life Is Hard set are striking poses with Pabsts and Marlboros. Three bands are set to play. We will go second so the drummer and bass player can drive home after the gig (?). First band is getting ready to play and are actually smoking grass right on stage. I say stage but it is really a cubby hole where the musicians are stuck.

They stumble into "Swinging Doors" by Merle and everyone can instantly tell that this band sucks in ways that have not even been invented yet. Flat singing, limp grooves, flabby bass playing--this is painful, yet they are projecting an attitude of Complete Coolness that does not match their ability. I suck down several beers and put in my earplugs.

As the hacks finish (with Six Days On the Road, a trucker classic they completely butcher. Allow me to take this space to point out a pet peeve I have with bands doing covers: f'ing up the lyrics. It's not "I'm takin' little white pills BUT my eyes are open wide" it's "I'm takin' little white pills AND my eyes are open wide". You see, the latter actually makes sense, the former does not. Details people! details! repeat in fairy choreographer voice.)

We begin to play and there is a look on the hacks faces of "Uhhh? what's this?" and when our leader starts to make his tele quack and stutter and sing they are nodding appreciatively. About four songs in I realize that I am on the edge of being too drunk to play. What is the next change? What key am I even playing in? Where'd I put that beer? I manage to keep my head and we cook pretty good.

We finish to polite applause and I notice that some talent has entered the building. Smiley hipster chicks--yeah! I was standing near the cubbyhole guarding the gear when I overheard two of them discussing the Simpsons. I wait for my set (as Keanu might put it in Point Break) and when they stump each other on the name of the Simpsons cat I enter the conversation to provide the answer. "Yes, that's it!" one of them intones enthusiasically all smiles. They then ask me if Popeye's nemesis was named Bluto or Brutus and I explain to the best of my recollection that he started out as Bluto and then became Brutus later when the cartoon went color. They are duly impressed once again, but I know I have peaked already. A little more small talk and it's time to go. Especially considering that several East Village residents have just taken the stage and are about to start playing.

I dreamt I fell in love last night. I had a literal dream girl. We all worked in some kind of bizarre tree house doing God Knows What and I liked her and I thought she liked me but I wasn't sure so I didn't do anything at first and then we came together. This was some serious post-dawn dreaming, the deep REM kind and I know it happened then because I woke up at about 6 and then fell back asleep. In the dream she had given me this really cute little piece of paper she had made that her drarings on it, poetry, romantic sayings and her phone number. She made it especially for me. It was great, until I woke up because I was actually feeling this feelings since my brain doesn't know if it's actually happening or not, so I woke up in love with a figment of my imagination. It took several minutes to shake this off and I'm still feeling disapointment that this wasn't real.

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Landslide

It's official--I'm old. More charitably, I've finally matured to a level where abstract, contrived events like spectator sports have slipped behind the more pragmatic, immediately relevant concerns in my personal hierarchy of needs. I was at the Metrodome for the Vikings game today, it was the middle of the 4th quarter, a resurgent home team holding fast to a newly taken and hard fought for lead, the crowd in a supportive uproar, the excitement and promise of the Todd Bouman era just starting to emerge before our eyes--and all I could think about was making sure I left early enough to beat the intractable clot of traffic that would soon be forming on Washington Ave. And my internal debate and referendum on leaving early vs. staying until the bitter end wasn't even close.

With the Vikes up by one point and the Giants starting a drive from deep in their own territory, I made like Michael Bennet and bounded out of my seat, hustled down the aisle, and ran down the stairs Then, making like Rick Kahn, I ran to the left-- straight toward the exit ramp--while all the time aggresively whining "We will win, we will win!"

By the time the Giants punched in a TD to take the lead I was in the concourse and just about to get sucked through the door, out of the hermetically sealed interior of the Dome and into the fresh air of freedom. By the time the excitement and promise of the Todd Bouman era came crashing to an end (with the second fumble of his 10 minute long career arc), I was pulling my car out of the Liquor Depot (a spot in which I got the privilege of renting for three hours for only $20) and silently congratulating myself on earning the empty ribbon of blacktop laid out in front of me, leading all the way back to St. Paul.

Yes, the fact I avoided bearing witness to another Vikings choke was a bonus (can you imagine sticking around for that garbage--and then having to sit in traffic for 45 minutes trying to get out of downtown!). But even if they would have hung on and won, my feelings would have been the same--namely, sweet relief and easy comfort on the drive home.

Before the game, while waiting for my party to arrive with the tickets, I loitered around the Vikings will call ticket area and had the following observations.

*All the Vikings' wives or girlfriends (and for those Kirby Puckett emulators--wives AND girlfriends) seem to enter through this gate. I presume this since those in the parade of women walking in at this spot before the game were better looking than any other woman in attendance at the game by a magnitude of about 5. Stunning, almost cartoon like beauty. They were all dressed in things like red velvet hip hugger pants and leather mid riff bearing halter tops. As you never see this type of woman casually on the street in this town, I have to believe the players fly them in special, and then immediately after the game send them back out to the more sophisticated, fashion capitals of the world. Or at least back to the Western suburbs.

*Bud Grant and his wife look very old and each walk with pronounced and painful looking limps. But they both were smiling and congenial to the well wishers who greeted them. Bud was wearing his pale yellow NFL Hall of Fame blazer, which seemed kind of odd. If there's one person in Minnesota who doesn't need to flaunt his professional credentials, it would be Bud. Maybe that's the only sport coat he owns.

*Dr. John Najarian enters through the Vikings will call gate. I wouldn't think he'd have any contacts left with the team, since the ownership no longer includes his cronies from the Minneapolis business community, but he was still whisked in with all due deference by the security staff.

*A slovenly, obese man dressed in some sort of amateurish, faded and torn, Middle Ages type Nordic garb attempted to enter. (He looked like a cross between a homeless person and a Renaissance Festival featured act--which come to think of it, isn?t that far apart.) Needless to say, he drew some additional attention from security and the Minneapolis cop working the door. He apparently had the proper ticket and credentials--which makes you wonder which sad sack Viking is giving up his comps to this character instead of his favorite stripper from Sheik's. (I got the sense this was Mike Tice's brother or father or something.) But before they let him enter, they asked him to open up his coat, which revealed, stuck in his waistband, a Viking-type dagger, with a genuine, polished 9 inch blade on it. After some additional inspection, the cop confiscated it and led the gentlemen inside the building, no doubt for a full body cavity search and a check for outstanding warrants. But he must have passed, since during the 3rd quarter his smiling and drunk-as-a-monkey face was put up on the scoreboard for all to see. (No sign of the knife though). And as long as Vikings crowds are disproportionately made up of guys like this (real fans!) I should have no problem getting home directly by leaving mid-fourth quarter.

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Friday, November 08, 2002

A Man Ahead of His Time

A perusal through InstaPundit today revealed a name from Minnesota's radio history past. None other than Mitch Berg, who was a side kick (and engineer?) on the late Don Vogel's lamentably lost radio show back in the 80's on KSTP-AM. The station was a much different animal back then, and the on air personalities concentrated more on entertainment than on politics. However, when the hosts did bring in their political biases, they were more in line with what you'd expect from the mainstream media, that is decidedly left of center. But, for the most part, guys like Geoff Charles, Bob Yates, and Vogel were legitimately funny (at least to my naive, teen-aged ears). When they stuck to entrainment, they had more in common with Howard Stern than Howard K. Smith (hmm- let?s try that analogy again). They had more in common with J. Fred Muggs than J. Edgar Hoover. (ugh - I?m giving up, even though there?s gold in there somewhere.)

I think Mitch Berg might have been the only admitted Conservative who had an on air presence on KSTP at that time. (Soucheray was there of course, with Reusse on Saturdays, but back then he was much more of a Randy Kelly style DFL Lite Mayor, compared to his rock ribbed iteration of today). Vogel's too easy characterization of him as nothing more than a right wing gun nut served as the subtext for any exchange between the two. But Berg was always a good sport and it usually resulted in some good give and take.

But the station changed, largely due to the appearance of Rush Limbaugh in mid afternoons. His prodigious broadcasting talent, astute political analysis, and the corresponding high ratings drove the station to the right. Before you knew it, Yates was ultimately replaced with a newly baptized Conservative Soucheray and Jason Lewis finally ended the parade of dreadfully dull and overtly liberal commentators occupying afternoon drive time. (Morning drive remained painfully mediocre and against type, although the most recent Morning Spin reconfiguration shows some promise). As I recall, Mitch Berg didn't survive Don Vogel's first departure from the station (around the time of Rush?s emergence), which was long before KSTP?s content became more aligned with his own perspective. And now that seems to be a shame. His blog, Shot in the Dark, provides articulate and smart commentary on Twin Cities politics and culture and it?s reasonable to conclude a radio show that allowed him more leeway than Vogel did would have been good.

A month ago I didn?t know of any quality blogs devoted to the local scene, which made me think that perhaps a niche existed that was crying out to be filled. But since then, I?ve become aware of both Power Line and Mitch Berg and they?re both outstanding in exactly this type of coverage (and they consistently link to local media nuggets before I do!) It makes me think that maybe I can dial back my own political coverage and commentary and concentrate more on my real interests. That would be college women?s volleyball scores, my continuing search for the perfect Hungarian Ghoulash recipe, and celebrating the poetry of Leonard Nimoy. Now that?s a niche that needs filling. (And don?t tell me Boone and Erickson have a blog devoted to exactly these topics too.)





At Least They're Not Bitter About It..

If you're looking for one of the causes behind Tuesday's GOP clock cleaning of the DFL in Minnesota's election today's letters to the editor in the Minneapolis Star Tribune provide a good starting point. There are no fewer than five acrimonious letters from disaffected readers attacking Norm Coleman, President Bush, or both. Their comments include the following claims:

-Coleman did not work hard for the Senate seat he won rather it was paid for by the "Republican Corporation".

-Bush visited Minnesota to campaign for Coleman in order to grab more power so he could act like a bully and terrorize innocent people in other countries.

-That Coleman "savagely" attacked Wellstone and ran one of the most negative campaigns in Minnesota history.

-That the election was all about oil.

-That while Coleman was mayor of St. Paul he "alienated and marginalizied" gays and lesbians.

They just don't get it do they? Rather than stepping back and constructively examining what went wrong on Tuesday and what they should do in the future to avoid a repeat of the debacle all these Democrats can do is whip out the same tired cliches and cannards that failed them so miserably in the election. The majority of Minnesota voters were able to see through this fantasy world view of the Left and were intelligent enough to recognize how baseless these charges really are. But because these DFL Lefties have no substantive alternatives to offer they have to fall back on this sort of intellectually weak clap trap. They got nuthin'.

It would be easy to refute each and every of the claims in these letters but it's hardly even worth the time. However, I must step up and challenge the notion that the Coleman's campaign against Wellstone was excessively negative. While Coleman did have some ads that criticized Wellstone's voting record in the Senate I didn't consider it an overly negative campaign at all. There were no personal attacks against Wellstone and if you can't bring a candidate's voting record into play then you're all you're left with is the sappy crappy feel good ads that always seem to feature a family member explaining why their dad, brother, etc. is such a swell guy. They only serve to make me nauseas and really provide little information on issues.

And although I haven't seen a statistical analysis on it I would guess that there were at least as many if not more negative ads against Coleman produced by the Wellstone campaign and the DFL as there were negative ads against Wellstone.

You lost guys. Get over it.

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Thursday, November 07, 2002

Fellow Spirits

The Pioneer Press's Nick Coleman has an interesting analysis of what lies behind the Democrats' electoral failure and abject sadness over the events of the past two weeks. His description of Norm Coleman and Paul Wellstone as fellow spirits - both disenchanted by their preferred party (the DFL) in the late 80's and then taking very different paths to deal with it, is something I hadn't thought about, but upon reflection, seems to be valid. He also punches some well reasoned holes in the myth of the Democratic party as the more open-minded, less ideologically constrained, "big tent" party:

"It does no disservice to either man to note that, in a way, Norm Coleman and Paul Wellstone were fellow spirits. Wellstone will always be revered as a DFL martyr and he was, in truth, beloved by the party when he died. But it wasn't ever thus. Wellstone and Coleman came from different philosophical backgrounds, but they both rejected the stodgy DFL that had calcified by the 1980s (Wellstone used to talk about starting a third party) and they each represented new energy the DFL desperately needed.

Remember those campaign ads that tried to embarrass Coleman by showing him endorsing Wellstone at the 1996 DFL convention? I think they backfired. They were supposed to demonstrate that Norm Coleman was a turncoat. But maybe they also revealed that the DFL had turned its back on one of its most promising leaders.

Today, there is much sadness among Democrats. Two long-in-the-tooth DFLers ? Mondale and Moe ? are defeated. And two of the party's brightest stars have been lost.

One is dead. The other is senator-elect."






Letting the Democrats be Democrats

Witty piece by Dinesh D'Souza at National Review Online on what it might be like if the Dems dropped the charade and campaigned on the positions that they really hold dear to heart:

The Democrats could improve their political fortunes by unequivocally embracing the three central principles of the political Left: anti-Americanism, economic piracy, and moral degeneracy.

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Someone Saved My Life Tonight

In my work with 16 precincts on Tuesday, no significant problems were observed and the procedures designed on the fly by Mary Kiffmeyer and Mike Hatch, for supplemental and absentee ballots, were successful in reasonably accommodating all voters and in attempting to reasonably establish and tabulate their intent. During the day, the biggest issues were temporary shortages of supplies, specifically new registration cards, supplemental ballots and those damn ?I Voted? stickers, which voters seem to cherish and they feel cheated when precincts run out. This positive reaction from the citizenry makes me think other government agencies should consider adopting a similar tactic, like the IRS sending out ?I Paid My Taxes? stickers or the Corrections Department in Massachusetts using ?I?m On Death Row But Currently Out on A Week End Furlough? stickers.

There were a couple of instances of strangeness and curiosity, all of them occurring toward the end of the day. The first situation happened toward the time of the polls closing (8 PM CDT). Upon my check in with a certain precinct, I was informed by the head judge that a poll challenger from the DFL wanted to order some pizzas for the judging crew, to ?thank? them for all their hard work. (What immediately came to my mind was the scene from Caddyshack where Rodney Dangerfield slipped a few bills to the referee before his money match with Judge Smails, along with the exhortation ?keep it fair ref, keep it fair.?) This head judge mentioned she didn?t think it was appropriate, but that the other judges were hungry and she wanted to know if they could do it. I of course told her this suggestion was absurd and confirmed that in no way should election judges be taking gifts supplied by a member of any politidcal party. She glumly agreed. Then as I was walking out, she pointed out this DFL challenger and I overheard him on his cell phone, calling down to the Ramsey County Elections Office. He was appealing the case to the higher authorities, and, believe it or not, was using an emotional appeal. He voice was shaking with righteous indignation as he wailed ?these people are working their hearts out and they?re not getting anything to eat, why can?t I order them 2 large Green Mill pizzas - they deserve it!? Fearing I was witnessing the birth of a new entitlement program (the ?No Judge Left Hungry? bill?), I simply shook my head and continued on my way.

After the polls closed, the poll watchers descended upon just about every precinct I encountered. Legally and justifiably, the counting of ballots is a public act and anyone can observe as long as they don?t interfere with the process. For the most part, these individuals were good-natured, respectful, and were acting in good faith. But everyone, observers and judges, were kind of leery about the process for hand counting the supplemental ballots, as no one had ever done this task before, and everyone was referring to their list of instructions throughout the process. This led to a kind of solemn and formal tone throughout. At one precinct I checked in with, the sorting of these ballots had just begun, into piles designated for each Senate candidate and piles for unusable ballots (that would be over votes and blanks). This precinct had several hundred ballots and after they had sorted only the first 5 or 6, in an attempt to lighten up the mood, I barked out to the head judge in a media jackal type tone ?Are you projecting a winner yet?!? Everyone laughed, except for the observer from the DFL, who literally sneered at me. The GOP observer then jokingly read me a statue (printed on his direction sheet, provided by the Republican party) about the prohibition on early release of results, which again drew laughs.

At the final precinct I visited (which ended up occupying me for the next 6 hours!) very little laughter was being engaged in. Given the very high turn out at this location, they had an enormous job ahead of them and they were still slogging through the preliminary tasks of sorting the ballots. Confounding this process were 2 women observing the counting. As I later learned they had also been aggressively questioning the judges on procedure, consistently making unfounded accusations and sarcastic comments on decisions being made and chronically using the technique of the ?heavy sigh? anytime something happened they disagreed with. Not knowing this when I came in, I approached them in the friendly spirit that was established by others at the other poll locations. Even though I was using my oh-so-sincere, Norm Coleman-style smile, I was greeted with glares and then the exasperated rolling of the eyes. This reaction struck me as odd, since they didn?t yet know me and usually it takes a least at least 20 minutes before I provoke this reaction in my acquaintances. I didn?t take it personally and just figured that they were members of that small segment of the population which doesn?t have the nasal sophistication to appreciate my scent (Brut .... by Faberge). They then brusquely and rudely asked me for my identity, and upon telling them I asked them for their names, just in the spirit of personalizing the interaction. Acting very defensively, and in an exaggerated kind of hyperactive/psychotic manner, they caustically laughed and refused saying they were ?just citizens? and implying that it was none of my business. As election judges aren?t yet in the fraternity of government employees commonly known as ?jack booted thugs,? I guess it wasn?t any of my business. To ease out of this combative exchange, I said ?all right then, Jane Doe and Madame X, good to have you here,? which only soured their dispositions further.

At this point, the amazing and dedicated head judge (whom I?ve already celebrated in a previous post - and to whom I?m dedicating a week long photo enhanced tribute to, starting on this site next Monday) called me aside and gave me the run down of their behavior so far. She asked me to verify that her procedures and materials were in good order so far (and believe me - they were). I did just that, and then said in a voice loud enough for all to hear - ?I think you?re doing a fine job and everything you?ve done so far is well within the law.? My two hours of training for this position and skim reading of the cliffs notes version of the relevant election statues may or may not qualify me to make such a statement - but it seemed to be accepted by everyone.

It also apparently qualified me to be the target of the two quarrelsome women?s wrath about the tabulating process. Between their taking of outraged notes in their little notebooks, they?d turn to me and blurt out various suspicions and allegations. Which is all well and fine, and if they did have legitimate observations about procedural errors occurring, then I would have genuinely appreciated their input. But they didn?t have any feedback about was what actually taking place before them or our interpretation and execution of the law, rather they were doing nothing more than criticizing the law and the procedures themselves. Issues like the use of a cardboard box for holding the supplemental ballots. They felt it wasn?t secure enough and were asking me what I was going to do about it. The answer was - nothing. It?s the legally provided and official receptacle, and whether or not it?s a good idea to use it, we have no choice. They then blasted out a heated diatribe about the fact that students and others walking through the polling place (which was in a student union building) could have been stuffing the ballot box all day long. I asked them if they?d seen any specific instances of malfeasance. They said no. I then confirmed with the head judge that the ballot box was under the control of an election judge at all times and then informed our interregators that all ballots are initialed by two judges before being distributed to voters and that these ballots will be checked for initials before being counted - thus preventing anyone from stuffing the box with any nonofficial ballots. This reasonable explanation only resulted in more huffing and puffing and furious scribbling in their notebooks.

Later on they pointed out a sweet, old lady who was one of the judges, and they claimed she was incapable of counting and sorting properly and that she could easily lose things like ballots. I again asked if they had seen any specific instances of impropriety (their answer was ?no?). Then, uncharacteristically wrapping myself in the shroud of anti-ageism and taking the diversity high ground, I indignantly asked them if I should disqualify this person just because she happens to be older? They stammered and harrumphed something about me mischaracterizing their allegations, but they didn?t clarify them for me and attempted to drop the subject. I then asked them to closely watch this specific judge and if they saw anything out of the ordinary, they should let me know right away. More glares and sighs and whispering between them, but then amazingly not a single other complaint the rest of the night. Which for them went until 1:30 AM - they didn?t quite have the stamina to ride it out the additional hour it took us to wrap it up.

In retrospect, I think these observers were probably Republican partisans. This guess is based upon the fact they were at a location that was destined to lean DFL (the final counts were about 4 to 1 in favor of Mondale) and their specific concerns about abuses from people working in that area. Their comments also mirrored almost exactly the types of reports that were coming into KSTP-AM all day (as I was driving around for most of the day, I was able to hear a lot of their coverage). So my guess is that these two (or their overseers) were whipped into a frenzy by the overheated and hyperbolic rhetoric of Jason Lewis and Joe Soucheray and also by the typically erroneous and incomplete reports that come in from the callers (Be aware, I?m a regular listener and generally a fan of both of these shows. But it just goes to show you that the format of political discussion as entertainment can and does lead to exaggerated conclusions and inappropriate calls to action.). These women came in to ?observe? already assuming the process was flawed and they felt compelled to personally intervene, despite their lack of any evidence of problems based on personal observation.

It was disappointing to see this behavior from Republican partisans. This is behavior I?d expect from the DFL. In fact, this exact process - that of acting based upon incomplete information, logical paralysis, and the subordination of intellect to that of feelings, is how most Democrats decide their vote in the first place. Perhaps these women were from the ?Democrats for Coleman? movement?





Wednesday, November 06, 2002
It's Morning in Minnesota Again

The sun is shining. The sky is blue. The birds are singing. It's a perfect day here in Minnesota. Well, perhaps not perfect but for a long time Republican who has fought and usually ended up on the losing end of political battles against an entrenched liberal Democrat mindset that has gripped the state for years it really doesn't get much better than this.

Norm Coleman has beaten the venerable Walter Mondale for the Senate.

John Kline has finally defeated the despicable Bill Luther after his third attempt to take the US House seat from him.

Tim Pawlenty has trounced both DFLer Roger Moe and Independent Tim Penny in the governor's race and has won 45% of the vote in what was thought to be a close three way race.

In the Minnesota state house the Republicans have solidified their majority by adding eleven seats to their side of the aisle and although the DFL still controls the state senate the GOP picked up six seats there and is close to challenging the Democratic majority.

Mary Kiffmeyer has won reelection as Secretary of State and Pat Anderson Awada is the new State Auditor.

Going forward Minnesota will now have a split Congressional delegation with one Republican senator, Coleman, and one Democratic senator, Mark Dayton. In the US House the eight seats are divided right down the middle with each party holding four.

On the state level the GOP has the governorship and the state house as well as two of the three other state wide offices(Democrat Mike Hatch won reelection as the Attorney General).

In a state widely know for it's liberal past this is a remarkable achievement. Remember we voted for McGovern in 72' and Mondale in 84' in both cases choosing the Democratic loser in historic Republican landslides. Minnesota used to be a state that the Dems could always count on. No more.

The big question today is how and why were the Republicans able to whoop up on the Democrats in a traditional Democratic stronghold like Minnesota. A couple of theories:

This Time Stupid Was Right

Despite the best efforts by the Democrats and the main stream media the economy was not a big factor. Sure people are worried about the declining value of their 401ks and their jobs might not be as secure as they were a couple of years ago. But I think that most folks are smart enough to realize the there will be ebbs and flows in the stock market and that in the long haul their investments will be okay. And the average person isn't really feeling a lot of personal pain because of the slow economy. Unemployment is 5.6% nationwide (less in Minnesota), inflation is low, and with low interest rates it's still relatively easy for most people to purchase homes, cars, etc.

And unless I missed it, I can't name a single Democratic proposal that would "get the economy moving again". If you're going to point out a problem you might want to have a solution to it. This is not to say that the Republicans have any answers on the economy either but at least they don't continually harp on how awful it is.

9/11 Did Change Things

For some reason the fact that this was the first national election since the terrorist attacks of September 11th was downplayed in the run up to yesterday's vote. In 1998 Minnesotans elected Jesse Ventura as governor and part of the reason for his victory was that people thought it would "fun" to have Ventura in office. After 9/11 it became clear that it times of danger government was not a joke and a serious approach was required to protect and defend the country and the state. Republicans are perceived as being much more effective in this regard and Tim Pawlenty's promise to pass a law designed to track the expiration date of visas through state drivers licenses scored big points from the voting public. As Sideshow Bob put it: "Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king." In this case it would be brutalize Al Qaeda and no one does it better than GW and the GOP.

Sharp Faces Going Places

Some Democrats here are blaming yesterday's debacle on the lack of a consistent Democratic message. I think the messengers might have been the bigger problem. Roger Moe and Walter Mondale represented the old guard in Minnesota politics both figuratively and literally and their opponents were both younger, good looking guys, who could articulate some kind of vision of the future however vague they might have been. A clarion moment in Monday's senate debate was when Mondale was asked about how he would bring high technology to rural Minnesota and he answered in a manner that indicated that his idea of high speed access meant a new roadway for those fancy motorized carriages that all the kids are talking about these days.

Get Your Base On

Norm Coleman and Tim Pawlenty were both viewed with a skeptical eye by the more conservative factions of the Minnesota GOP. While they were obviously much better than their Democratic alternatives neither did much to excite the passions of these conservatives. But the Wellstone memorial turned rally was just the thing to get this group fired up and Bush's visit on Sunday was like pouring gasoline on the fire. They became interested and they got involved. I did some campaign phone calls Monday night and spoke to some of these folks and they were pumped up. One fellow mentioned that he had been down to Coleman's headquarters that day and after waiting in line to volunteer was turned away because they had too many volunteers already. That is not a normal occurrence in campaigns. Another gentlemen told me that between the New Jersey Supreme Court decision on Lautenberg and the Wellstone rally he had seen enough would do all he could to ensure a Republican victory. The Wellstone debacle united the Minnesota Republicans like few things have in the past and the President's appearance on Sunday gave them added direction and purpose.

Can you smell the flowers? It's a great day to be a Republican in Minnesota. And believe me you don't hear that very often around here.

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When I Fall Asleep....

Election judging yesterday in St. Paul - started the day at 6:00 AM ended at 3:00 AM this morning. Most precincts in my ward were able to wrap things up sooner than that, but a certain precinct (located near a major Catholic university) had over 1,600 total votes, over 300 of which were same day registrants and another 300 voting via absentee ballots. My impression is that these were among this highest totals of any individual precincts in the city. Given the hand counting provisions and the new procedures for handling the multiple ballots utilized, the time frame outlined above was, believe it or not, reasonable. The good news is, everything was handled with the utmost attention to detail and procedure, all voters were properly accommodated, and the counts are dead solid accurate (as our extremely angry, aggressive, and largely ignorant poll watchers from the GOP will begrudgingly attest, I 'm sure).

Personal involvement in ensuring the process was handled with competence and efficiency was the reason I volunteered for this duty, and that's exactly what I got (I'll pause now for your appreciative and heartfelt applause). As an unexpected bonus, I got to spend many hours, going late into the night with the young, brassy, and beautiful head election judge from that precinct . She was extraordinary in her leadership abilities and commitment to the higher ideals of election judging and democracy. Driving back downtown at 3 AM to drop off the results and materials, I wondered, when was the last time this happened? That is, me tooling about town in the wee small hours, chatting and laughing it up with a smart, beautiful young woman, with whom I've just been engaged in a titanic struggle against the forces of totalitarianism and darkness (slight hyperbole - used for affect). NEVER - that's when. Grrrrrrrrr .... zzzzzzzzzzz.






Monday, November 04, 2002

Fritz Krieg or Sitz Krieg?

This morning the intersections and overpasses of St. Paul and points east have been littered with DFL activitsts waving signs and attempting to raise a ruckus for their candidates. In my commute in to work this morning I encountered people at Lexington and Summit, Lexington and I-94, at serveral over passes on I-94 and 694 heading east to Stillwater. At some of the unmanned overpasses, pro-Mondale signs had already been posted. (My impression is that creating such distractions on an interstate highway must be illegal - and if not, it should be.)

I just got back from running some errands in downtown Stillwater and I spied an odd coaltion of elderly and counter-culture types (whose only common characteristic must be unemployment) positioned on Main Street, all holding up Mondale signs and generally trying to appear happy and motivated. From my memory, I've never seen a "get out the vote" campaign rise to this level. The Democrats understand how close the Senate race is going to be, and to their credit, they're not going to lose it through a lack of effort. If only the GOP had more adherents sitting around with nothing to do on a Monday morning/afternoon - I'm sure they'd match them.





This Decided Nothing

11:37am
Here's a quick recap on today's Mondale-Coleman debate.

Mondale actually did better than I expected. He spoke clearly and convincingly and usually had a good grasp of the facts. His most interesting remarks were his assertion that Colin Powell shares his views on unilateral US action against Iraq and his statement that "the Constitution is on my side" on abortion. He did struggle a bit when asked about how he would bring technology to rural Minnesota which might serve to magnify the age issue.

Coleman was Coleman. Love or hate him you have to admit he's a smooth politician. He had his talking points and hammered em' home at every opportunity. "Setting a new tone in Washington" in order to achieve results was his overriding message. He mentioned the President a number of times usually describing how he would work with him to get things done but also pointing out a couple of differences he had with him as well. When the topic of welfare reform came up he not so subtly played the age card when he referred to Mondale's support for the original welfare programs as "an old idea."

Neither candidate made a serious gaffe nor was there a "gotcha" moment for either side. If you had to pick a winner I guess it would be Mondale because expectations of him were low to begin with and he didn't come off as a befuddled, past his prime, old man as he did at last week's press conference. On the issues I would definitely give it to Coleman although I'm hardly an objective observer. He did a much better job of answering the question at hand and usually backed up his arguments with more substance than Mondale did.

It was a very civil debate and unlike the Gore-Bush 2000 matchups where Gore's boorish manners cost him votes I don't think either candidate will be hurt by their behavior. Coleman was very respectful throughout and Mondale's slightly condescending tone (calling Coleman "Norman" a few times) wasn't egregious enough for most people to notice.

The real question is does this debate have any impact on tomorrow's vote? I think not. Unless you are a political nut like me and have a Walkman at your work place, many Minnesota voters missed today's debate. It will be replayed on the radio tonight and broadcast at 10:00pm but I don't think it will have a wide audience. For those who do catch it those who were going to vote for Mondale still likely will and those who were going to vote for Coleman will vote for him as well. The winner will be determined by the yet undecided and God only knows which way they will go.

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The Debate Must Go On: What's In a Name?

10:51am
Coleman always refers to Mondale as 'Mr. Vice President' while Mondale usually goes with the more casual 'Norm'. Mondale has also called Coleman 'Norman' a couple of times taking on the tone of a lecturing parent.




Let the Debate Begin

10:17am
Early into the Mondale-Coleman debate a couple of trends emerging. Coleman is pushing hard on changing the "tone" in Washington and getting things done through bipartisan action. Mondale has been trying to define the differences between Coleman and himself and appears to be holding his own. He has even launched a couple of humorous barbs at Coleman which brought laughs from the audience. The most interesting comment so far was Mondale's claim that "the Constitution is on my side" when discussing abortion and judicial appointments. Hmmm...

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Sunday, November 03, 2002

A Tax On Our Patience

It appears Bill Luther is really getting desperate. In a ploy only the most clueless will fall for, his latest TV ads are attempting to portray his 2nd District Congressional opponent John Kline as a tax raiser. (I saw the ad this morning, running during the Sunday political talk shows). If you've not seen it, the ad?s claim apparently is based on Kline?s previous support of a national sales tax - which the ad says will raise taxes on items like groceries and perscription drugs up to 23%. Kline has spoken on this issue in the past, but only in the context of reducing the overall tax burden by permanently ending the income tax. In fact, even Luther?s own Web site unintentionally refutes these assertions by providing some Kline quotes (in an attempt to portray him as a radical tax cutter):

"Kline favors scrapping the current tax code. If he could replace the current code with a flat tax or a national sales tax, he would vote for either one of those in an instant." (Apple Valley ThisWeek, 8/12/00)

"It's not enough to just cut taxes - I believe in scrapping the entire tax code. There is no shortage of proposals to replace it - some bipartisan - we could have a 'flat tax,' a 'fair tax.' All of them have merit - as long as whatever we do gets the IRS off the backs of the American family." (Kline Campaign Press Release, 5/6/00)


Hardly the words of someone interested in increasing taxes. Yet, the TV ads unflinchingly attempt to create this impression. Given the Luther campaign?s admitted complicity in the Sam Garst sham candidacy under the ?No New Taxes? party banner, this latest tactic is beyond the pale of reasonable political discourse. The Lutherans have admitted the Garst candidacy was an attempt to drain fiscally conservative voters away from Kline, they?ve admitted the ploy was ?unfortunate? and have apologized for it, yet they?re now using a last minute, misleading ad campaign, targeting those very voters who might be fooled into voting for Garst. Appalling.






Saturday, November 02, 2002

Wild for Norm

Just got back from the Minnesota Wild game (they lost 4-2, in a wholly uninspired performance against the generic Vancouver Canucks). The most animated the crowd got was at the beginning of the 3rd period, when suddenly a small hubbub began somewhere in the seats behind me, which then grew to a mild roar from those in my entire section and then those in adjoining sections too. I naturally presumed the interns from the Wild marketing department were handing out "special-sized" packets of Ritz Bits or something similarly as meaningless, yet always guaranteed to drive the crowd to frenzied distraction from the actual purpose of their $55 per seat outlay for tickets. But no, this time there was an actual happening occurring. That would be the belated entrance of Norm Coleman to the game, as he and his lovely wife Laurie, slowly made their way to their seats. Norm seemed touched by the extended and enthusiastic recognition, so much so he laid his hand over his heart and then started blowing kisses to the crowd. Which I think goes to prove that you can take a candidate out of the Democratic Party, but you can never fully extract the Democratic party out of the candidate.

After Norm sat down (one section over and two rows behind me) a steady stream of admirers approached him for autographs and to wish him well. Lots of hugs and back slaps and a lucky few (who presumably were already acquainted with the Colemans) got a kiss from beautiful, blonde Laurie. Soon thereafter, a camera crew got down there and during the next break in the game, they put Norm's image up on the scoreboard, which resulted in a huge ovation from the crowd. This wasn't just polite applause, rather it was an affectionate, full-throated cheer, lasting for a good 30 seconds. This time Norm simply stood, smiled widely and waved - thank God. (Is it possible his image consultants had gotten back to him so quickly about the adverse reaction to his Juan Peron-style kiss blowing? If so, I'd like to believe my quizzical glance had something to do with it.) The sections around us started the "Norm! Norm! Norm!" chant - but just then the cameras cut away, as the game had begun once again, and this demonstration never had a chance to grow in scope.

No doubt the crowd can't be considered a complete cross section of the Minnesota electorate. St. Paul is Norm's town (despite the fact it went for Ventura in the 1998 Gubernatorial race), the Wild's presence and the return of the NHL to Minnesota are rightly credited to Coleman's influence thus making hockey fans more prone to lean his way, and the crowd was made up disproportionately of suburban, white, other than lower class males. But by no means can this crowd be considered uniformly Republican. In fact, most of those in the monied classes in St. Paul, who are in abundance at these games, are typically Democratic partisans. And I can't imagine a single other political figure from the state getting such an enthusiastic and affectionate response from 18,500 citizens brought together for legitimately nonpartisan purposes.







Boschwitz on Mondale

It was buried in today's Pioneer Press Letters to the Editor page, but former Senator Rudy Boschwitz makes some good points about Mondale's supposed entry into the leadership of the Senate upon election.

Walter Mondale claims he would "immediately be part of the leadership" under Senate seniority rules. It has nothing to do with seniority, little or nothing to do with Senate leadership, but is a special 1977 provision to honor Hubert Humphrey when he went back to the Senate and it remains on the books.

Mondale would become deputy president pro-tempore of the Senate, a totally honorific job with no duties. He would get some extra office space, about $100,000 in additional staff allotments, plus a car and a driver. In short, it represents an additional government expense of about $200,000 that will not occur if he is not elected.

Mondale will not be senior to any sitting senator, so my guess is he would be 93rd or 94th of the 100 senators. Indeed, should Frank Lautenberg win in New Jersey, he will be senior to Mondale because he served in the Senate longer, and Senate rules give priority to Senate service over the vice-presidency.

In 1990, Mondale was sought as a candidate to run for the Senate against me. He responded: "One of the requirements of a healthy party is that it renews itself. You can't keep running Walter Mondale for everything."

The Democratic Party found a fellow named Wellstone. I completely misjudged him, relaxed, and he took me by storm.

Rudy Boschwitz
Plymouth


That last line by Boschwitz comes out of nowhere. It has a sad, almost wistful feeling about it. I think Rudy must still be grieving and regretting his opportunituies squandered, even now, almost 12 years later.





Must See TV

As most of us will need a distraction from the expected carnage to be laid upon the Vikings in Tampa on Sunday, I refer you all instead to In Depth on C-SPAN 2, which runs from 11 AM to 2 PM. This is a monthly program, which features a live 3 hour call in show with an nonfiction author of prolific output and prodigious talent (thus filtering out the likes of Michael Moore and Al Franken). Despite the occasional lapse in scheduling judgment (Howard Zinn?) these programs have been fascinating and you'd be surprised how fast three hours go by listening to the observations and stories of someone like William F. Buckley, Shelby Foote, Edmund Morris, or even Studs Terkel.

The previous all-time highlight of this series in terms of stimulation (and eroticism - which does have an admittedly thin field of competition for what is after all a political program) was a couple of months ago, three hours with the brilliant and spiritual and silken-voiced and irrisistibly Irish and absolutely lovely .... Jimmy Breslin? No! Peggy Noonan. And as a perfect visual and intellectual complement, the interviewer was C-SPAN's smart, cute as a button, spunky, Dixie Chick Natalie Maynes kinda sorta look-a-like, Susan Swain (astoundlingly Google can find no image of her on the Net). I always smile when Brian Lamb affectionately calls her "Suzy" Swain, because it fits her perfectly (despite the fact that she's also the COO of C-SPAN's parent company).

Although the prurient interest will be absent (unless you, like Seinfeld's Kramer, appreciates this featured author's well-scrubbed and clean look), tomorrow's show could be outstanding. It features George Will, so I'd expect insightful political analysis, withering criticisms of the Left, amazingly precise rhetorical flourishes, and as always, an amazingly precise hairstyle.

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Friday, November 01, 2002
Out on a Very Shaky Limb

With election only five days away I figured I'd take a shot and make some prognostications on the outcome. Given the events that have transpired in the last week here in Minnesota this seems like a rather foolhardy proposition as a lot can happen in the next five days. Anyway here's my unscientific, completely non-poll driven, wild ass guesses at what will happen on November 5th:

Secretary of State
Despite having one of the hokiest commercials of all time featuring her grandchildren Republican Mary Kiffmeyer should retain the office. DFLer "Buck" Humphrey hasn't really electrified the voters or given them any real reason to vote for him and I think that Kiffmeyer's handling of the balloting issues after Wellstone's death was professional and above board which solidifies her position.

Attorney General
Democrat Mike Hatch should easily win reelection which means we'll be forced to watch him take on every cause that allows him to be prominently featured in the media whether it's really within the scope of his office or not.

State Auditor
Who knows and who cares? I'll take Eagan mayor and Republican Pat Awada here just because her victory would really irritate the Minneapolis Star Tribune and Ted Mondale both of whom she has battled over affordable housing. I know nothing about her opponent other than that her last name is Johnson. Sadly enough that might be enough in Minnesota to win the seat.

Governor
To steal a bit from the Simpson's, "Mr. Pawlenty your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?". After getting off to a slow start and then having to overcome a bit of a campaign financing mess Republican Tim Pawlenty seems to be pulling away down the home stretch. He's been sharp and scored well during the last few debates and his stance on the marked drivers licenses for visa holders definitely bolstered his support. The Star Tribune's endorsement of Independence Party candidate Tim Penny probably helped Pawlenty and hurt Penny among center/right voters and the DFL's Roger Moe seems lost and disoriented since Wellstone's death. Barring an unforeseen event in the next few days Pawlenty should be the next governor.


Congress 1st District
Incumbent GOPer Gil Gutknecht should have an easy victory here.

Congress 2nd District
This will be a close race but I think the voters of the second district have had enough of incumbent Democrat Bill Luther. John Kline will eek out a win in this nasty battle. He cause probably has not been helped by some of the worst scare ads I've ever heard attacking Luther for his opposition to the Yucca mountain nuclear waste site. Kline's campaign didn't produce the ads but their attempts to frighten soccer moms is offensive. Luther can hardly claim the high ground either with his campaign's involvement in the phony candidacy of Sam Garst. This has been an ugly race.

Congress 3rd District
Moderate Republican incumbent Jim Ramstad should cake walk to another term.

Congress 4th District
Another easy call here as incumbent Democrat Betty McCollum wins.

Congress 5th District
Long time incumbent Democrat Martin Olav Sabo doesn't even has to campaign anymore as this district, made up mostly of the city of Minneapolis, is lopsidedly DFL. Another two years for Sabo.

Congress 6th District
There actually is a real race here between Republican incumbent Mark Kennedy and DFL challenger Janet Robert. Kennedy should hold on to his seat although he should also hide his head in shame for having produced the most embarrassing radio ads of all time featuring his nausea inducing brothers and sisters.

Congress 7th District
Another incumbent wins in a breeze as Democrat Collin Peterson goes back to Washington for a 7th term.


Congress 8th District
Call me crazy but I think ex-Yankee Bob Lemon has a real shot here... oh wait it's Bob Lemen running as a Republican. DFL incumbent James Obestar, first elected during the Nixon administration, keeps his seat.

And the now the Big Daddy race of the year in Minnesota the U.S. Senate seat
My heart says that Republican Norm Coleman deserves to and will win this race. But my head says that Democrat Walter Mondale will prevail. I just have no confidence in the ability of the Minnesota electorate to make the logical decision. I mean Jesse is our governor for Chris sakes. The one factor that could allow Coleman to win is turnout. Usually higher turnout benefits the Democrats but in this case if more people vote, particularly younger people Coleman could do it. Traditional Democrats will show up and vote for the Wellstone legacy and for Mondale's name. Older people almost always vote in high numbers and Mondale should so well among them. But if the same group of young, usually politically apathetic, often first time voters that turned out in 1998 and made Jesse Ventura governor get interested this time around and head to the polls it could be to Coleman's advantage. They don't know Mondale from his earlier career and may view him as old and out of touch. Coleman on the other hand appears as an energetic guy who gets things done (like bringing hockey to St. Paul) and they likely share Coleman's views on social security and Iraq. This race comes down to a generational battle of who shows up. Unfortunately I gotta give it to the gray hairs. Mondale wins.

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Blitz on the Fritz?

Last night CNN was showing footage of Mondale campaigning under the title "Fritz Blitz." The word blitz comes from the German word blitzkrieg which means lightning war and conjures up images of the panzers of Rommel and Guderian racing through the French countryside in 1940 or across the Russian steppes in 1941.

After hearing Mondale's press conference yesterday I find it difficult to associate the word "blitz" with him in any way, shape or form. Rather his doddering, agonizingly slow paced style, at some points bordering on incoherence was more remindful of the terms "static warfare" or even "phony war" and his grasp of the strategic realities of the day seem to more closely parallel those of the French generals Weygand and Petain in 1940 than their German counterparts.

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It Was Something When It Began

A few observations about the Wellstone Memorial service on Tuesday night:

First of all, the music played before the speeches started had a lot to do with setting the partisan tone of the crowd reactions throughout the rest of the evening. I cite in particular the 45 minute rendition of "Love Train" performed by Sounds of Blackness, which seemed to get people whipped into a celebratory and "we care more than you" defiant frenzy (This was tempered somewhat by the crowd's growing apprehension that Al Gore might start dancing at any moment. And by contrast, the 50 minute version of "Georgie Girl" by Sounds of Whiteness got a much milder reception). Since people were embracing the spirit of "Love Train," that is, one world united under a groove and the equivalency of all cultures and moral beliefs, it wasn't surprising that those who would stand for (or at least stand in for) individualism or exceptionalism, Trent Lott and Jesse Ventura, got the Bronx cheer.

According to my sources at Williams Arena, before Sounds of Blackness hit the stage, none other than Dan Wilson of Trip Shakespeare/Semisonic/Uptown Starbucks fame performed a rendition of "Made to Last". I saw Dan Wilson in concert at the Women's Club Theater last Saturday night, and he played that same song in honor of Wellstone then too. His prefatory comments were poignant, universal and were well taken by even the most independent-minded and freedom loving fans in attendance (me and John Bream). He spoke of how our lives have an echo after we're gone, whether just in our own families or through a larger set of friends and associates. We change the course of events and we change the people we know, whether we intend to or not, and this affect goes on, in subtle but undeniable ways, for generations, and maybe forever. That struck me as very true and if I were the sensitive sort I might have meaningfully sighed at that point. But instead, I relied on a more conventional form of appreciation-- that would be shouting out "Play Tool Master!!"

Second, I fully grant that the Wellstone memorial was overtly partisan and at times in extremely poor taste. But I don't think anyone who's paid attention to Democratic politics over the last 25 years should have been surprised. And from the perspective of an acknowledged political junkie, I thought it was a highly effective political spectacle and it seemed genuine in ways that more traditional and contrived events, like a party convention, would not. This was largely due to the fact that their rhetoric could address the highest ideals of the party members and not the specific and bottom feeding issues that generally drive elections.

Furthermore, even though I didn't respect most of the politicians in attendance, it was exciting to see that many nationally prominent and historical political figures congregating in one place. The way they marched in one by one, Gore, Daschle, Clinton, Rodham-Clinton, Bird, Mondale, it incrementally swelled the excitement of the crowd and led to heightened and soaring expectations of who would be next. This kind of presentation, combined with the crowd's rock star-like adoration for these individuals, was gripping, particularly to the television audience. It reasonably should spread a positive opinion of the Democratic party to any of the undecided or so-called independent minded voters who watched. This should be true not just in Minnesota, but across the country too. To these swing voters, the dismal records of individuals like Clinton or Mondale can fade away to irrelevance when confronted with the sight of a crowd enthusiastically roaring their approval of them. This impression is cemented by the supposedly nonpartisan nature of the event and of the attendees.

Most certainly, a Republican-leaning crowd would have responded in the same way if they were brought together under similar circumstances. It would have been exciting, maybe thrilling, to be in an auditorium as the stars of the Right were slowly brought out to take their well earned bows. To see the likes of say Newt Gingrich, Condoleeza Rice, George Bush Sr., Trent Lott, Bob Dole, Nancy Reagan, Tom DeLay, Alan Keyes, Dennis Hastert, Jack Kemp, Vin Weber, and Arne Carlson march down the stairs (or to see Gerald Ford fall down the stairs). The crowd would have gone wild and those who "vote the man not the party" would have seen these men and women cast in the light of heroes and winners instead of as ambitious politicians merely trying to get votes.

For this reason, I think this type of event has potential to become an annual pre-election night tradition, for one or both parties. If they could broadcast it nationwide, it's impact could be substantial. The problem is achieving the impression that the crowd is simply made up of citizens rather than of hard core party activists. Short of the untimely, yet regularly scheduled, death of a candidate every year, I'm not sure how that could be accomplished. Maybe the Democrats could have an annual anniversary gala in the spirit of Paul Wellstone? Or maybe they could just promise free cheese or cash benefits for all attendees. But then again, those are the primary reasons why people join the Democratic party in the first place, so maybe it woudn't fool anybody.

Finally, I truly thought the remarks made by the Wellstone sons were inspiring and poignant. For them to have suffered the the sudden and tragic loss of both parents and their sister and then to show no outward signs of grief during their extended presentations was astounding. No doubt many tears were shed by them over the weekend, but when it came time to celebrate the lives of their loved ones, they were able to do so with the joy and humor that this public occasion called for. It's evidence that these men were at peace with themselves and in their relationships with their departed family members. The Wellstones were clearly a strong family that possessed the personal attributes we all aspire to. Despite my jaundiced view of the man's political philosophy and tactics, I'm convinced that Paul Wellstone was a good Dad and husband and probably an asset to whatever community he lived in, in terms of being a neighbor and citizen.

But it also strikes me that these facts alone should inspire a political backlash. Most families don't come anywhere near these standards of interpersonal health and success (at least according to the reports I've read--my own family, of course, is very Wellstonian in its success and their mutual love and support of one another). Usually, one or both parents are tragically flawed in some significant way, which inevitably leads to major disfunction among the entire family unit. (And this leads to much sobbing, hair pulling and gnashing of teeth at funerals and memorial services--how's that for an echo, Dan Wilson?).

From my observations, no one really likes the one perfect family on the block. Instead they're resented for their happiness and for the fun house mirrors their chronic smiles hold up in front of the faces of their common place and quietly desperate neighbors. Therefore, it follows that nobody would really want to vote for people like this. Yes we (I mean they) come to accept the fact these individuals will make more money, will acquire greater influence, will love more deeply and be loved more often, but that's just how the cards were dealt. But when we have a choice in the matter, do we really want to self select these people as our political superiors too? It's like being in high school and voting for the guy who's the starting quarterback and class president for Homecoming King. Sure he's already dating the hottest cheerleaders in school and he's on his way to an Ivy League education and fame and fortune, but yes, by all means, let's choose to also put a crown on his head and metaphorically throw ourselves prostrate before his regal gaze.

Maybe that's the populist campaign strategy Norm Coleman needs to adopt--my family is as screwed up as yours! But since he appears to be married to a high school cheerleader, it may not resonate with the voters as honest. Maybe other candidates can use this appeal instead. Anybody seen what Ray Tricomo's wife looks like?

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