Friday, January 24, 2003

News From the Front

Day two of the search for the right anti anti-war slogan continues today among the Fraters Libertas editorial board. The good news is that all sorts of provocative, fiery comments have been emerging from the deliberations. The bad news is, most of these concern their objections to not being able put corn liquor and skin mags on their expense accounts.

The boys did take a stab at sloganeering based on information torn from today’s headlines. And I mean that literally. Upon reading this article one of them released the two handed death grip on his whiskey tumbler, reached over and flayed the Star Tribune to ribbons with his butterfly knife.

It was all over an article about one Matt Walker Jr., a 16-year-old from Blue Earth, Minnesota. A precocious youngster who reportedly wears an upside down American flag on his black leather jacket and writes “coarse denunciations about the Gap clothing company across his stocking cap”. Which I believe says something on the order of “My g*dd*mn pants are too f*cking tight!”.

He’s now staging a one man all night protest on the streets of Blue Earth against the war with Iraq, for the following reasons:

"After 9/11, I was one of the guys saying, 'Go over there and bomb 'em.' Now, I just don't think it's right. Saddam's a flat-out bad guy, but he poses no immediate threat to us." A U.S.-led war against Iraq would be about securing a source of oil, Walker said, not rescuing Iraq's people from tyranny or saving the world from weapons of mass destruction. But it also would have serious consequences for domestic programs already bracing for budget cuts.

Considering the source of this wisdom, the following slogan was submitted:

"One alienated, self-absorbed teenager from Blue Earth can’t be wrong! (despite overwhelming historical precedent to the contrary)".

As brilliant as this is, we can’t fit it onto a bumper sticker, and thus the idea has been rejected. But as I see another case of Yukon Jack has just been brought into the conference room, I suspect we’ll have a winner shortly. Stand by...

No comments:

Post a Comment