There's No People Like Show People (Thank God)
Good news out of Hollywood, even in the event of war, the Oscars will go on. In fact, the organizers of the show have graciously agreed to accommodate any breaking news that should happen during the ceremony:
"If they run things under the screen indicating what's going on in the world, that's fine," said (Gil) Cates, who has produced the event 10 previous times. "If something happens and they have to go away, they'll go away and come back."
Good to know that ABC news will be given the appropriate time to report on Iraq's lighting oil fields ablaze or firing off chemical warheads on Israel, before they're forced to get back to a production number celebrating the film career of C. Thomas Howell.
What's going to be fascinating about the ceremony will be the attempts of Hollywood's elite to balance their raging bouts of conscience and their egoistic need to retain "street credibility" with their radical chic peers, while at the same time trying not to ruin their careers by revealing their America-hating impulses to Mr. and Ms. Middle America. Most will probably resort to wearing some type of ribbon (perhaps the colors of the Iraqi flag?) and delivering cryptic sentences about peace, while setting their jaws tight and looking appropriately annoyed. Give these people some credit, since looking annoyed and outraged isn't an easy thing to do while wearing a Versace gown and million dollar earrings (and that's just Ben Affleck).
Some will be bolder. I fully expect Michael Moore to win for best documentary and to deliver a vicious verbal assault against the Bush administration (while wearing an Armani tuxedo and a Detroit Tigers baseball cap - to show he's keeping it real despite his enormous wealth and privilege). Daniel Day Lewis gives us a preview of what he might have to say in case he wins Best Actor for "Gangs of New York" (which didn't exactly inject any peaceful messages or valuable lessons about pacifism into our popular culture):
"If we do choose to celebrate this thing, ... we've got to think about how we can do that in a way that is respective of what's going on," said Irish actor Daniel Day-Lewis, a lead-actor nominee for "Gangs of New York." "It would seem kind of obscene if we were there trouncing up the red carpet grinning and waving and people were dying somewhere in the world."
Someone needs to get the message to Daniel Day that people have been dying in the world during every Oscar broadcast in history. Many of them at the hands of the Iraqi dictator who will be overthrown when and if we go in. So instead of weeping crocodile tears for the Iraqis you suddenly have noticed and seem to care so much about , maybe your victory speech should include this line from President Bush's State of the Union address:
And tonight I have a message for the brave and oppressed people of Iraq: Your enemy is not surrounding your country, your enemy is ruling your country. And the day he and his regime are removed from power will be the day of your liberation.
Drop that line on us Daniel Day and I promise I'll be the first in line to see "My Left Foot 2" when it comes out.