HUAC Issues Finding Of Fact
Sadly it appears that when it comes to Hugh Hewitt and his distortions of the truth, the beat goes on. After monitoring yesterday's broadcast of Hugh's show, the Hewitt Untruthful Activities Committee wishes to issue this statement:
Three assertions made by Hewitt on yesterday's program (One also mentioned on his web site) must be refuted.
1. Hugh claimed that the moronic Minnesota duck hunters trapped on a lake overnight after their boat froze in the ice, were in fact the members of Fraters Libertas. That is a blatant lie.
a.) None of us hunt waterfowl and
b.) Having lived in the Northland for many a year, we all have a basic understanding of the scientific principles behind the transformation of water to ice. (Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?)
2. Hugh suggested that if we were to be featured on Amazon's Holiday A-List, we would recommend Molson, Heineken, and Amstel Light as our beer selections. While these brews are all drinkable they don't rate high on our list. The best beers in the world are made right here in the good ol' US of A. Try Sierra Nevada in Chico, California, Bell's in Kalamazoo, Michigan and Summit in St. Paul. Now you're talking real beer.
Oh that thing he said about JB and drinking? That's the God's truth.
3. Hugh stated that the Infinite Monkeys were bereft of ideas. HUAC will only comment briefly on the matter, in the expectation that the Monkeys will rise to their own defense. How can any group that has James running for Black Leader be considered idealess?
That is all. For now.