Thursday, September 30, 2004

Highly Debatable

Welcome to live blogging of the first presidential debate of the season. We're having a Summit with allies including Hindrocket from Power Line, Mitch from Shot In The Dark, King from SCSUScholars and a host of others.

8:10pm John is wearing silk pajamas. King is wearing pajamas made from the fur of
Armenian lemurs. Mitch is wearing...Good God Sir! Put some pants on!

8:13pm Kerry looks like Captain Pike. W droppin' his g's.

8:16pm This is perhaps the geekiest thing I have ever participated in. Bloggers all around, blinging away on their laptops. Thank God we have beer.

8:18pm Rush to war? This is one of my favorite lines from Kerry. More like a slow, agonizing crawl to war that very well may have made the insurgency we are facing today much worse.

8:21pm Atomizer is wearing a seer sucker shirt. Kerry is BSing about cops, tax cuts, chemical plants, loose materials (sounds like a personal problem).

8:23pm David Strom appears to be surfing for porn.

8:24pm Killing 'em over there draws cheers. Troops will come home when the job is done. When the Iraqis are ready to take care of their own bidness. Nice line with "artificial deadlines."

8:27pm Saint Paul says that watching live blogging is like watching sausage get made. Mmmmm...sausage.

8:28pm Fresh cred from Kerry. Wrong war, wrong place, wrong time. Questioning Kerry's cred for voting against $87 billion.

8:29pm First menttion of Vietnam. Everybody drink!

8:32pm First mention of Haliburton. Drink! New game: every time Kerry says "summit" we drink. Could be a long night.

8:33pm John just spilled his drink. Grape juice on David's white couch. Ouch.

8:34pm This live blogging is making me thirsty.

8:37 Chad the Elder has fled to the lavatory, St. Paul filling in. I offered to live blog his experience but he claims he needs some "me" time in the biffy.

8:40 (I think, I'm not wearing a watch). Just noticed the Elder walked off with David Strom's copy of the Sunday New York Times. He clearly intends to be in there for a while.

8:45 Kerry: "I believe I'll get this job done" - we'd appreciate a little more certainty John. 'I WILL get this job done'- that kind of determination and conviction I can vote for.

8:50 A returned and refreshed Elder wonders: "How does the Peace Train/Wellstone! crowd react when Kerry vows to crack down on Falujah?" Any Butcher but Bush, perhaps?

8:54 I'm sitting next to King Banaian of SCSU Scholars. If I'm not mistaken, he's wearing Brut. Or possibly Aqua Velva. There is something about him. (Something that makes my eyes water.)

8:56 A nuanced arguement by Kerry about preemption, sounds suspiciously like the need for a UN permission slip. Maybe my nuance comprehension ability is flagging. I have been drinking.

9:00 Iranian Moo-lahs - I like it. Sounds like something new at Dairy Queen. Something with ice cream and falafel.

9:08 I smell cookies. I assume that's someting Margaret Strom is whipping up for dessert, and not the further nuancing of King's cologne.

9:10 I admire John Kerry's manicure.

9:15 Dueling dad talk by the candidates, a new low for American political discourse.

9:20 Sorry for the delay in comments, the cookies are being dished up and I'm distracted.

9:25 The Elder refuses to jump in for the last 5 minutes. It's me from here on out.

9:27 The Elder is hoping against hope Ghengis Kahn gets brought up. He thinks the varying pronunciations could seal the deal for Bush. Jenjis Kahn, indeed. Closing statements, historical precedence shows less than 10% chance of Ghengis Kahn making an appearance at this point. Unless Bush cares to bring up Kerry's wife.

9:30 It's over, Bush wins, using the 10 point must system in a 10 round bout, score 100 - 94.

The Elder Adds: That's Saint's call. I give it to Kerry by a small, and in the long run, completely insignificant margin.