The Words Of The Prophets Are Written On The Bathroom Walls
I discovered an fascinating bit of graffiti on the men's room wall yesterday.
There, just above the urinal, was written "Cruz Bustamante is gay" in brilliant blue ballpoint ink. I must say that this sent my brain reeling in a haze of perplexed confusion. Has Cruz Bustamante made one headline since the recall election? Why did this Minnesota tagger feel compelled to share his thoughts on the sexual orientation of California's shadowy Lieutenant Governor? Why in the world would I care? How does a man write while urinating? Will I ever stop asking questions? Will you read further to find out?
Being an inquisitive sort myself, I decided to do a little sleuthing...after I zipped up, of course. I conducted an exhaustive internet search (that is to say, more than 30 seconds) and could find no evidence to back up the spurious tile-borne claim.
What I did find, however, was a darling little website devoted to Cruz's younger sister, Nao. It appears that Nao is quite the legend in California's performance artist community. In her 1992 work called "Indigurrito", Bustamante The Younger:
...strapped on a burrito to her loins and called for white men to come up on stage, take a bite out of the burrito and absolve themselves of 500 years of the white man's guilt.
I'll spare you the link to that particular spectacle.
Diving further in to the abyss, I also found that:
Nao has made a recent foray into the online realms working with David Baal to create "In The Ring With Rosa", a serialized photo novella about wrestling and poodles.
Photo novellas, wrestling and poodles...nothing gay about that.
Still, that doesn't explain the cryptic graffiti concerning Cruz and, since all subsequent internet searches have lead me nowhwere even close to a legitimate explanation of the writer's intent, I'll have to create one of my own.
What this guy meant to say was "Crews Boost A Man. Tea's Gay." Man...Mulder's going to be shocked to hear that.
What those crews had to do with it may never be known.