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Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Casting the Second Stone
According to reports, the bus drivers strike continues in the Twin Cities. Not that most of us would know about it based on levels of traffic congestion, individual mobility, or retail economic measures. On all of these accounts, things are running beautifully. Perhaps never better. Plus, the government is saving millions by not having buses on the road. A compelling argument to consider suspending the public busing system permanently. Yes, for those very few unfortunates who do require assistance with transportation (a number far fewer than we realized, before this strike took place), private market solutions should be investigated and implemented. This surely will be less expensive, and at least as efficient, as the status quo. It?s a perfectly rational, logical argument, if I do say so myself. But never let it be said rationality and logic were the bases for public policy in the Twin Cities (or any major urban area). When it comes to issues of government spending, it?s all about class warfare and perceived grievances, entitlement and emotional manipulation. Which brings us to the passionate arguments of that Crocus Hill rabble rouser himself, homeless person exploiter extraordinaire, Nick Coleman. Now, you do have to give him some credit for honesty. In today?s Star Tribune, he?s not even bothering to pretend he cares about logical argument or the facts of this particular case. Instead, he sees his role as follows: I do not know whether the union has the moral high ground, and it doesn't matter. Hashing out a new contract between the union and the Metropolitan Council is not my job. It is the governor's job. Young, up-and-coming journalists take note. Nothing beats shamelessly embracing laziness as a virtue for absolving yourself from having to form reasonable opinions based in fact and then communicating them effectively to the readers. Because, truth be told, all that thinking and writing is hard work. And when your employer is fine with publishing ridiculous slurs based on flawed premises - why bother with hard work? Case in point, Coleman?s latest attack on Governor Pawlenty: This bus strike isn't very Christian. "Our governor always talks about how everyone's got to 'share the pain," [security guard Bob] Wright said while members of the transit union rallied across from his building, in front of the Hennepin County Government Center. "But it's people without means and people of color who are feeling the pain on this strike. "What is up with our good conservative Christian friends? Where is their empathy? 'That which you do for the least of these, you do unto me.' Those are the clear words of Christ. So where the hell is the empathy? And where the hell is the governor?" Good questions Mr. Wright. I just hope Mr. Wright wasn?t waiting around for any good answers, because as he?s told us, Nick Coleman isn?t in that business. Nope, not his job. But it is interesting to see Coleman so eagerly questioning another man?s religious commitment. Makes me wonder if back in 1990 then Pioneer Press columnist Nick Coleman played any roll in the frothing media lynch mob going after Rudy Boshwitz when he allegedly questioned the Jewishness of secular saint Paul Wellstone during their Senate campaign. Not having the necessary LexisNexis resources (yet) I can?t verify this. But I?d say the odds are at approximately 100% he was at the forefront of said frothing mob. Getting back to the point of Coleman?s direct charge, that Pawlenty?s stance in the strike is not Christian, let me provide some background information for those not paying attention (like Nick Coleman). The Governor?s position is that health insurance premiums for bus drivers should approximate that experienced in the private sector. The government cannot afford to continue to provide the Cadillac of benefit plans for public employees, without raising taxes on the citizens. (The very citizens who are already paying their own high insurance premiums via their own employers.) Pawlenty is simply choosing not to use the coercive power of the state to redistribute incomes, from the pocketbooks of hard working private sector employees (who have all sorts of health costs on their own), to the pocketbooks of public sector employees (who feel they are entitled to privileged status). This seems, at the very least, to be a value neutral position, spiritually speaking. Also remember, Pawlenty has nothing to do with the bus system ceasing operation and creating all those ?people without means and people of color who are feeling the pain on this strike.? Those people are feeling the pain only because the drivers abandoned them. They took off and the Governor is unable (legally/politically) to bring in replacement workers who could ease the pain of the unfortunates. And why did the drivers abandon them in the first place? Because management would not agree to provide increased compensation for their efforts. And if public employee union members don?t get their way, it?s not like they?re just going to quit (like any self respecting private sector employee would have to do). Instead, they?ll shut the entire enterprise down, callously stranding those who do depend on them. This is the bus drivers' offer to the Governor, condensed to its raw essence: force the taxpayers to fund our healthcare at an extravagant level - or we will screw the poor and handicapped. And then we?ll blame it on you. Remind me again where that appears in the New Testament.
Last Saturday, Saint Paul and I had the pleasure of meeting one of the young proprietors of The Patriot Blog! while we were preparing for our weekly NARN broadcast. Amid the autograph signing (Saint Paul has 8 x 10 glossies with him at all times), answering questions about our exhaustive show prep (cracking open the paper ten minutes before air time), and talking a little Gopher hockey, it became apparent that this fellow and his cohorts are solid standard bearers of the conservative cause among the youth of today. Check out their site for yourself and catch the wave of the future.
Labels: Blogs-Local
At Least We Got Al
Twin Cities listeners can breathe a sigh of relief. A late breaking deal has helped Franken find a slot on WMNN: The new liberal radio network Air America made a last-minute landing in the Twin Cities Tuesday with the news that WMNN Radio (1330 AM) will carry satirist Al Franken's new show when it makes its national debut today. The 11th-hour deal will put "The O'Franken Factor" on the air from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., although the rest of Air America's programming will not be carried. You mean we won't get to hear Chuck D wax philosophically on the legacy of the Founding Fathers? The arrangement is unusual on several levels. The show wasn't purchased directly by WMNN, but by the Minnesota Production Network (MPN), a corporation formed to provide nonconservative alternatives to talk radio. In the other cities where Air America will launch (Los Angeles, New York City, Portland and Chicago), station time was leased directly by the network to carry all its programming. MPN had already purchased time on WMNN last year to launch "The High Ground," which will now move to a 2-to-5 p.m. time slot at the station. "Our long-term goal has always been to have 24 hours of programming," said MPN co-founder Janet Robert. "We wanted a local show, but also other programming that would appeal to Minnesotans. Certainly Al Franken is a natural." Walter Mondale. Four Super Bowl losses. The sign in the Metrodome that said 'We Like It Here'. The movie Fargo. Jesse Ventura as governor. Walter Mondale (again). We've put up with a lot of humiliation here in Minnesota over the years, but hearing that Al Franken has a natural appeal to Minnesotans might be the lowest blow of them all. The good news is that Franken's show, like a painful kidney stone, too shall pass: His tenure on WMNN won't be long, however. The station was sold earlier this year to Starboard Communications, a national network of Catholic radio stations, which will take over the station in late May or early June. Bumped from the airwaves by Mother Angelica Live? Couldn't happen to a Minnesota nicer guy.
In honor of today's debut of Air America Radio (in all of its many markets ), the liberal answer to the right wing "hate" that fills the airwaves, we present one of the stars of this budding progressive network, Janeane Garofalo, spouting off on a variety of subjects in her own words. A few weeks ago on the Northern Alliance Radio Show, I brought up a few of these pearls, but limited airtime and FCC restrictions prevented me from getting to most of them. Enjoy.
(Sources at the end) On the media: The myth perpetuated by the mainstream media was that the country was 100% behind the Bush administration ? no matter what. 1 At a time as important as this, they have absolutely rolled over to the conservative hawkish agenda. 4 Unfortunately, a lot of people are under the impression that they?re getting news from FOX. In order to get news, you really have to do a lot of legwork. You have to listen to the radio, go on the Internet, watch PBS, dip into CNN and read a couple of papers. They make you really have to work for it to learn anything about your country. You?ll probably learn the most about your country by watching international news. 1 Unexamined patriotism in the wrong hands is like a loaded gun. It?s incredibly dangerous and a form of narcissism that gets people into trouble. Fox feeds narcissism in a strange way. 5 It degrades culture because then, you?ll see a poll, ?Sixty percent of Americans think that George Bush is doing a great job.? Why is that? Because they?re misinformed. It?s not because he?s doing a great job. It?s because they?re getting spin. Most people don?t know what?s going on. They may think he?s doing a good job, and what that means is A.) they?re not paying attention or B.) they only get their news from corporate establishment news sources, which means they have no idea. 5 That?s what his version of what America is ? God Bless America only, and let?s assault people who don?t agree. That?s the kind of America that Sean Hannity wants to live in and cultivates on FOX. That is not reflective of mainstream. 1 That brings us to some of the rightwing pundits who dominate the radio, like Mike Savage, or some of the commentators at Fox--the Ann Coulters, what have you. I think what they do is they turn their own personal issues--whether they be racist, homophobic, sexist, xenophobic, or imperialistic--and they wrap them in the flag and hide them behind Jesus. 4 That?s great, and what has also been a really, really wonderful trick also perpetrated by people like Ann coulter, FOX News, Laura Ingraham, Michael Medved- they pretend that actors are the evil within our borders; that actors are this subversive, liberal-communist group that are going to somehow brainwash your children. This is a great tactic that they use, because they all, essentially, carry water for the right. They are great at manufacturing straw men, manufacturing the false opposition, because it?s easy to foist that on an unsophisticated population that goes, ?Oh yeah, it?s Barbra Streisand, not Enron!? (laughs) Laura Ingraham and Ann Coulter really, really work very hard in that. I call it ?Operation Dumb-Ass? (laughs) which is, this huge subterfuge-kind of rightwing movement to distract the population and have them look at Hollywood as if it?s a monolithic problem to their family, when really, what?s bad for families is militarization, globalization, and deficits. All those things are bad for your family. Barbra Streisand is not bad for your family. 1 Speaking about Laura Ingraham: She?s one of those girls that finds Joe McCarthy sexually appealing. She?s in that crew, who identifies as a conservative, but is not. What she is, like Hannity and all those people, is cruel and has issues with ?the other? in our culture. She doesn?t like people that are not like her. So she hides behind being a conservative, which isn?t really true. She?s just sort of emotionally immature and unable to be tolerant of diversity. That?s the problem with a lot of movement conservatives. They are pretending that it?s political, but it really isn?t. It?s really just an emotional need to keep the playing field tilted. 1 About Dennis Miller: Instead of taking an anger management course, or instead of working out in therapy your inner demons and your rage issues, it?s really much easier to be an in-your-face prick and pretend you?re being patriotic. And I think that?s worked out really well for Dennis. 1 On history: Every great reform we have in this country from ending slavery to seatbelts is a liberal reform. 1 On conservatives: They?re also fine with hiding behind Jesus. They love to hide their cruelty, their homophobia, and their closet racism. They wrap it in the flag and hide it behind Jesus. It?s very convenient and they hope that nobody notices. 1 They are absolutely thrilled that they can take their misguided anger, and their xenophobia, and their aggressiveness, and their belligerence, and hide behind the flag and Jesus, that is fantastic. 3 Like I said, a lot of people who like to wrap themselves in the flag, hide behind Jesus, and be aggressive -- some of those people are not intellectual powerhouses. 3 They?re taking paranoia and distaste- and I?m sure a healthy dose of the self-loathing in there, too, because you really can?t be that cruel on a daily basis and not dislike yourself or be unhappy. They?re taking all these emotional shortcomings, and playing it politics. It?s really effective, because it makes for good TV and it finds its audience in the nation. It?s very easy to build an Archie Bunker nation. It?s not easy to build a Paul Wellstone nation. That?s why FOX?s ratings are high. 1 It?s so easy to be a Bush-Coulter fan. What that means is that you do not have to care about other people. You can be angry all the time so it really, really lets you off the hook. Instead of participating meaningfully in your community, or your own life, for that matter, you can be a dittohead or buy a Bush doll or watch O?Reilly and write hate mail to people. 1 They don?t want diversity, many messages, or many voices. That?s part of the reason some people gravitate towards the right. They like authoritarian systems where the marching orders are given and people follow them lockstep. That?s the reason they sort of go rightward. The reason other people go leftward is because they?re more interested in diversity. There?s much more room for alternative opinions. 1 ...the dumb and the mean love patriotism....What you have now is people that are closet racists, misogynists, homophobes and people who love tilted playing field and the politics of exclusion identifying as conservative. 2 Unfortunately though, in this country, as in many countries, there's always going to be groups of individuals who want war anyway. They like to be aggressive. They like to have an us-and-them attitude. They like to be isolationists. They like to be somewhat exclusionary and racist in their thinking anyway. If they have the opportunity to wrap it in a flag, so much the better -- you know what I'm saying? 3 In the ranks of some of these very conservative or right-wing groups, not everybody's a bad person or anti-intellectual -- but what those kind of groups cater toward is people with sociopathic tendencies. There are things that people like Ann Coulter say, and things that people like Rush Limbaugh say, and Mike Savage, that are straight-up sociopathic, straight-up racist, straight-up sexist. And all of this stuff gets wrapped in the flag. 3 It is shocking that some people's lives are enriched by this nonsense--these boycotts and e-mails. They are proving themselves to be fundamentally anti-American and anti-democratic. They are against the First Amendment, so what are they defending? Unless they are trying to build a fascist Administration, unless they are trying to bring the American people to a point that we exist under a totalitarian regime. 4 It?s a psychological need that leads to what you?re talking about, willful ignorance, a placing of one?s head in the sand because you can?t emotionally handle the idea of being so poorly led as a country by a President (President Bush), who is clearly one of the worst presidents historically we?ve ever had. There?s nothing wrong in saying that. 5 Excuse me while I step out for a moment to wrap myself in the flag, hide behind Jesus, and oppress some minorities. At least she's consistent. On the war in Iraq: It was an attempt at a corporate takeover. This was about oil. It wasn't about human rights. It's not about human rights. 2 On the Bush Administration: The Bush administration wants to expand its powers of surveillance over your life, while simultaneously rolling back the Freedom of Information Act. Team Bush is more radically corrupt than Richard Nixon ever tried to be. 2 It is in fact a conspiracy of the 43rd Reich. 2 Despair will not discriminate. Once this shit hits the fan, and as the economy goes further into the toilet and is further degraded, as social programs in this country are slashed and burned to funnel money to the Pentagon, as more people that are mentally ill get thrown off their medication plans, and more children are left behind in the public school education system, who cares? 3 "There's nothing you could point to in the Bush Administration with pride," she says. "Nothing. There is no way any rational, reasonable person can say that the Bush Administration has been good for America." 4 This will potentially be one of the worst chapters in American history that will go on for twenty or thirty years, until democracy, in some fashion, is established. 4 There's been such an assault on democracy here, and the mainstream media is complicit in it. We are living in neo-McCarthy, post-democratic times. Democracy is being criminalized. Democracy is being ignored. 4 If you do your homework and educate yourself about American domestic and foreign policy through the years, you?ll see that President Bush is probably one of the worst in the last two hundred-some-odd years of this country. 5 On Dissent: So to say that just because your occupation is not within the Beltway you have no First Amendment rights is absurd. 3 And then these same people have a problem with political correctness. They can't stand political correctness, which, in my mind, just means civility, you know. 3 A lot of people were unhappy with the bellicose nationalism, the partisan psuedo-patriotism, and just the general bullying tone that was coming out of FOX News, MSNBC, right-wing radio, and the White House. 1 I'm so public about this because I've been asked to do so and because I painfully felt that the anti-war movement was being ignored. So it was a combination of those two things. If I thought the anti-war movement was getting proper coverage in the mainstream media, I would have said no. You don't need actors to make this a mockery. 4 I never imagined that I would never care about dumb things anymore. I never imagined I'd be a person who could transcend that kind of nonsense. But beyond that, I never imagined I would be penalized for speaking out in favor of social justice. I never thought that anyone who spoke out for peace, and diplomacy, and social justice would be pilloried. 4 On Herself: I'm frequently depressed, just have a general malaise. And I don't mean a malaise of indifference, I mean a malaise of sadness and fear. I've always been alarmed by some of the things that the mainstream media does and by what the government does, no matter who's in office, but the broken heart is new. 5 Now that should make for some entertaining radio. What could have brought Janeane to such dire straits? Now I'm not a psychologist, but I gotta think this tale from her past might provide a hint to her current mania: I'm somebody where if I walked into a bar you wouldn't notice me, but at least a circle of frat guys isn't going to make fun of me like they did in college. I was huge -- I weighed 160 pounds. Every Friday and Saturday night, I would walk on eggshells back to my dorm, like, "Please don't let there be a group of guys, please, please." Of course they made fun of me. Guys in a group? Come on. The worst. 6 Sources 1. Democratic Underground Forums - My interview with Janeane Garofalo 2. Battle Against Terrorism a Failure, Leads to ?Chaos and Blood? --8/21/2003-- Media Research Center 3. Janeane Garofalo, Concerned American Citizen and Patriot - A BuzzFlash Interview 4. Janeane Garofalo Interview | Elizabeth DiNovella | May 2003 Issue 5. PRESS RELEASE: Janeane Garofalo speaks out about FOX NEWS 6. Salon interview Janeane Garofalo Labels: Media-National (02-06) Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Last year I picked eleven of the twelve regional NCAA hockey playoff games correctly, and thirteen of fifteen overall including the Frozen Four. This year my prognastications have been a miserable failure. In the twelve regional regional contests I went 7-5, and only correctly picked one of the teams going to the Frozen Four, the Maine Black Bears.
My competition didn't fare much better, but nevertheless, I am forced to concede victory to him. He went 8-4 in the regionals and nailed two of the Frozen Four, Maine and Boston College. Since I had Maine losing in the national semifinals I can't pick up any more wins. The game that made the difference between us was the Michigan-BC contest that went to OT before BC pulled it out 3-2. Had Michigan won, I would have a one game lead, and two teams left. Such is life. The one factor that I didn't give enough weight to in my soothsaying was goaltending. In a single game elimination tournament, the keeper is the X factor. I knew that Maine had a good un' and that Al Montoya of Michigan was solid between the pipes, which lead me to pick both teams to reach the Frozen Four. However, I overlooked Adam Berkhoel of Denver and Isaac Reichmuth of UMD. When I attended the WCHA Final Five, Reichmuth looked average at best in a 7-4 loss to the Gophers. But on Sunday he was the difference in the Bulldogs 3-1 win. Kellen Briggs did not play poorly for the Gophers, but he didn't make the key saves that Reichmuth did. Despite the fact that they knocked out my beloved rodents, I'm going to be pulling for UMD to win their first ever national championship at the Frozen Four in Boston in a week and a half. And no sooner do the doors to one competition close, than another opens up. Jonathan at MangledCat.com, recently seen snowboarding with John Kerry, wishes to wager on the outcome of the UMD-DU national semifinal. I wasn't aware that there were any real hockey fans out in Colorado other than the bandwagon jumpers who cheer for the Avalanche, but I certainly won't hesitate to take up the challenge. The prize? Loser buys the winner a copy of Hugh Hewitt's forthcoming, sure to be best selling, fair and balanced book on politics, If It's Not Close, They Can't Cheat : Crushing the Democrats in Every Election and Why Your Life Depends on It. I've already read the manuscript of course. Hugh sent me a copy to proofread and provide feedback. I don't want to break any confidences here, but let's just say that my favorite red pen got quite a workout. Repeat after me Hugh, I before E except after C. So simple and yet apparently so easy to forget. Labels: Hockey (02-05)
American Dynasty: A House Of Cards
What's that old saying about a reporter only being as good as his sources? Peter Schweier takes a closer look at NRO at some of the ones used by Kevin Phillips in his bestselling, "expose' of the Bush family, American Dynasty: Besides The Nation, the only sources he uses to make the case of the Bushes' secret CIA links is the Adamson Report (cited four times), a newsletter produced by one Bruce Adamson, a geologist who runs a crackpot website called ciajfk.com. Adamson apparently believes that the Bushes are implicated in the assassination of JFK 'and tied directly and indirectly to the Diana accident and the crash of September 11, 2001.' So they didn't have anything to do with the fake moon landings? Well, that's a relief.
El Diablo!
Parise Leaves Sioux, Signs Deal with New Jersey: North Dakota's premature elimination from the NCAA tournament is good news, apparently, for the New Jersey Devils' playoff drive. Hobey Baker Award finalist Zach Parise has left school to sign a three-year deal with the Devils, thus foregoing his final two years of college eligibility. According to North Dakota coach Dean Blais, in a radio interview this morning, Parise signed a three-year deal worth over $4 million. I think this will be good for the Devils. Don't they have a drug for premature elimination?
We Want To Make Passes...
At that babe in the glasses. 
Congratulations to Ashley Banfield, winner of the Fraters 'Who Is Hotter Among the Jeapoardy! Power Player Contestants' poll! Ashley's prize package will include an all expenses paid trip to St. Paul to receive the major award due her. She will ride in luxury on the smooth wheels of Greyhound. No need to worry Ashley. When you go Greyhound you leave the driving to them. Once she arrives in the Saintly City, Ashley will be put up at the newly opened Saint Paul Arms (formerly known as Saint Paul's apartment). Breakfast will be provided by the White Castle on University Avenue, and lunch and dinners by El Burrito Mercado. Nothing but the best for our guests. Activities planned for the week for Ashley and her chaperone (Saint Paul) include playing pool at the Groveland Tap, taking in an indy flick at the Grandview, and of course, playing trivia at Keegan's on Thursday night. All that and hour upon hour of watching C-Span
The Fraters Libertas Welcome Wagon
David drops us an e-mail begging for a Fisking of a certain Star Tribune columnist who he feels has had it coming for a long time (look for it later this week), and thanks us for preparing him for his eventual relocation: I've been reading Fraters daily for several months now and I especially enjoy the fisking of local columnists, even though I'm from Pittsburgh and I have no clue who most of these people in MN are. For about a dozen years now, I have had an extracurricular interest in Minnesota politics. When Rush Limbaugh's first book came out, I sent a copy to a cousin in St. Paul as a Christmas gift. I should have vetted him before doing that. In the first place, he had never heard of Limbaugh, so his wife had to explain it to him. Once he understood what I had foisted on him, he treated the book like a hunk of rancid gorgonzola. Fortunately he had one conservative friend who could appreciate the gift. Cousin, being a forthright sort of fellow, then phoned me to explain what he had done with the book and why. In making me aware of his political leanings, he identified himself as DFL. His words "Democrat Farmer Labor" were immediately followed by "Communist" in a near-whisper. It took me about three seconds to realize that he was not joking. The City of Pittsburgh is bankrupt, though it has not quite reached that "last one out turn off the lights" stage of decline. I long ago decided, and have since convinced my wife, that Minnesota is the place to go when and if we ever pack our bags. At least I know what I would be getting myself into -- forewarned really is forearmed. Come and listen to a story about a man named Dave Living in Pittsburgh, a city no one could save, Then one day he was surfin' on the net, And up popped a blog where the bar was highly set. Fraters that is, colorful prose, witty wordsmiths. Well the first thing you know ol Dave's more aware, Kinfolk said "Dave move away from there" Said "Upper Midwest is the place you ought to be" So they loaded up the truck and moved to Minny. 'Sota, that is. Hockey rinks, radio stars.
Mannequin II: Explosive Bugaboo
From this morning's Strib: For nearly two years, a mannequin, amateurishly dressed to look like a suicide bomber, stood virtually unnoticed in the corner of a Rochester used-car dealer's office. Suddenly, the mannequin -- displaying a profane message and wearing what has been interpreted as ethnic garb -- figuratively came to life, enraging members of the Islamic community in southeastern Minnesota and Washington, D.C. To paraphrase Mr. Burns: "Eww, no! The muslims are mad at me! No, not the muslims!" The mannequin is "clearly offensive and insulting," Rabiah Ahmed, communications coordinator for the Council on American/Islamic Relations (CAIR), America's leading Islamic civil rights advocacy group, said Monday from Washington. "These actions do nothing to promote anything positive between cultures and community," said Ahmed, whose group heard complaints from Rochester's Islamic community, which is large enough to have its own mosque in the city of 86,000 people. Yeah, that's the standard by which ANY AND EVERY SINGLE PRIVATE BEHAVIOR SHOULD BE JUDGED! Let's see, I was going to have a bowl of oatmeal this morning, but I have to ask myself does it do anything to promote anything positive between cultures and community? (If this were 80 miles north in the Twin Cities, at this point in the article--oh hell what am I talking about no one would have the cahones to put up such a display in such a PC environ.) But car dealer Steve Lewis, 48, claims that "there's nothing discriminatory" about the bearded mannequin. He said that until this month, there had never been a complaint in the nearly two years the mannequin has worn a neck-covering cloth that extends from the back of a red baseball cap and partially covers the back of a white lab technician's jacket. A belt made of rope and wire holds three empty toilet-paper rolls, made to look like explosives. The mannequin is holding a gas-tank hose. Apparently, two sniveling students went in to videotape this outrage (on private property in a LOCKED business where people have to presumbably be buzzed in) and got into it with the Mr. Lewis. The pansies then sent the tapes to their brethren in DC and local media outlets to try to portray the dude as some kind of racistbigothater. Thankfully, he is sticking to his guns: "Israel is the only country in the Middle East that stands for democracy, and Israel still gets the short end of the stick," he said. "I'm not about to support a suicide bomber and supporters of terrorism." He said he considered changing the mannequin before St. Patrick's Day, then changed his mind after the initial meeting with Kailani and his friends. "If somebody comes in to buy a car, I don't ask what religion they are," Lewis said. "What's the big stink about?" So this morning, we at Fraters would like to raise a big Bloody Mary to used car dealer Steve Lewis of Rochester, MN for sacking up and not being intimidated by a couple of whiny students and their powerful allies in Washington. Monday, March 29, 2004
Saturday night I attended a benefit dinner at the Landmark Center in St. Paul for the terrific local charity group Give Us Wings. They?re involved in giving aid to a group of villages in Kenya and Uganda. Their goals are highly focused and simple: feeding the hungry, giving medicine to the sick, sending the kids to school. Everything Christians are supposed to be doing (even though GUW has no religious affiliation and I?d describe them as more humanist in nature).
I know and trust their leadership. They have no salaried staff, no overhead, or administrative fees. In fact, all the members themselves incur significant financial tolls every year through their continuous giving. To anyone feeling charitably generous, I endorse Give Us Wings and encourage you to visit their Web site to learn more about them. They may not be changing the world, but they are changing, and saving, the lives of a small group of people in a forgotten little corner of Africa. As an abstract donor looking for a sound charitable investment, that?s all you can really hope for. And sometimes you get more than you hope for, as I can attest from Saturday night. Call it dumb luck or call it boomeranging good karma, but the fates conspired to seat me at the same table as the key note speaker for the night, KMSP-TV?s anchorperson Robyne Robinson. She?s been a dazzling fixture on the local media scene for over a decade, so most Minnesotans know her as a smart, beautiful, talented broadcaster. Those who haven?t had the pleasure of meeting her might not know she?s also delightfully charming and entirely devoid of pretense and arrogance. These traits are most unusual for big time media celebrities, as anyone who?s spent time with the hosts of the Northern Alliance Radio Show will tell you. Most amazingly for someone of her stature, Robyne Robinson is FUN to be around, even when she?s hanging with a bunch of relative nobodies (no offense to everyone else at the table, besides Robyne and me). As an example, before her speech on Saturday, there was some light dinner conversation and I commented that I saw her mention on the news the other night that she scored Prince tickets (for his June series of shows in St. Paul). That lead to a discussion of his music and then supposed ?farewell? tours (of which Prince?s current tour is supposed to be, at least for him performing his hits). Then at some point I told a highly relevant story about seeing downward spiraling Night Ranger perform at Mississippi Live in the mid-90?s. This caused Ms. Robinson to close her eyes in a rock and roll squint, bang her head (in pantomime fashion) and belt out a note perfect rendition of the chorus to Sister Christian. You're motoring What's your price for flight In finding Mister Right You'll be all right tonight It was an hilarious moment, and something I can?t imagine Don Shelby doing. Or Stuart A. Lindeman (or Russell Shimooka, or whoever is anchoring over at Channel 11 these days). Not long after, Robyne got up to give her speech- a passionate, inspiring message about hope and responsibility. I can?t do it justice in summary, but in short, her thesis was that due to the American system of governance and economic organization, hope exists in abundance in this country. It?s the most valuable resource we have and the greatest thing we can share with those who have none. She closed with a challenge for the audience to live up to their responsibilities as Americans to give hope to our suffering brothers and sisters in Africa. And I think it worked, since amid the cascade of applause for her, one could clearly hear the sound of check books flipping open all over the room. It was a great speech and a great evening. I again encourage anyone interested to check out Give Us Wings. And tune in to Channel 9 at 9 PM. Because if you?re not watching Robyne Robinson, you?re just watching the news. Labels: Good Works
Thank You Pat Schroeder
I was hanging out with the fast-becoming Doubtlessette on Saturday and we were discussing her stint in the Air Force several years ago. Now to a typically wussy, peace-loving, modern man this conversation may not mean much. But to a kill-'em-all-and-let-God-sort'-'em-out conservative like myself, it was fascinating and enthralling. She told me of her duties in the service, what a typical day was like, etc. Then she mentioned she had to qualify with the M-16 every six months. Hello! The idea of an attractive woman, clad in Air Force fatigues, her hair in a pony tail, sporting combat boots, squeezing off rounds from an M-16 literally made my Republican heart skip a beat. I asked if any pictures survived from the era, preferably of her brandishing military weapons in or near battle implements. Sadly, she replied no. I asked her to describe in as much detail as she could remember all of the parts of the weapon...how she broke it down to clean it...what it sounded and felt like as she pulled the trigger...what her score on the range was...did she name the weapon?...basically any detail she could think of. And I have to say: a more potent aphrodesiac for a conservative man I know not of. As we sat on my couch, she then reached over to my coffee table and picked up the latest National Review. "What's this?" she inquired. I told her it was a conservative news magazine and she opened to a story on John Kerry and began reading aloud. And I thought the M16 talk was compelling! There is something about hearing boring political prattle tumble forth from a pretty mouth instead of the normal cast of Morton Kondrackes and Rich Lowrys that is incredibly satisfying. The words sound fresh, alive, meaningful and not a little sexy. I said I would pay her to record a list of political terms like "Voodoo economics" "Reagan Democrat" "Moral relativism" "Milton Friedman's Free To Choose" and "The defining of deviancy down" for me to listen to in the car but she wasn't having it. I imagine she thinks I'm quite mad, but tomorrow she's cooking me dinner at her condo. She told me to bring a movie, but I'm bringing the latest George Will column and the 2004 Smith and Wesson catalog as our entertainment instead.
A Nubian Slip?
What would Dr. Freud think about this little lapse by Hugh Hewitt today? The pathetic attempt to pin blame for this on the president and Condi rise for sins of omission in their first eight months in office is certainly bound for the chutzpah hall of fame. Condi Rise? Sounds like she might be working in the same industry as Buck Naked.
My love for the Emerald Isle took a serious blow yesterday when the Irish government banned smoking in all of the country's 10,000 pubs. The measure targets not only pubs but also includes any place that can be called a workplace with exceptions including prison cells, psychiatric hospitals and nursing homes.
Brilliant. Forbid the general population from enjoying a smoke with their Guinness but allow the incarcerated, the insane and the sick elderly to light up at will. One supporter of the ban had this to say: "It will be marvelous to have a night out, then not wake up in the morning with your hair and clothes stinking of smoke," said homemaker Eileen Kennedy, who generally smokes a few cigarettes a week ? when she goes out for a drink with her husband. I have a bit of advice for Eileen. If you don't want your hair and clothes stinking like smoke then don't smoke, you sodding twit! I usually find that the smoker most responsible for making my clothes reek after a night of binge drinking and chain smoking is the one to whom my hangover belongs in the morning. Stop trying to alter the behavior of those around you before you even attempt to modify yours. And then there's this quote: "I think, at the end of the day, a person can't argue with the logic of it because we all know cigarettes are bad for us," said cabbie Shay Kearney, a smoker who's thinking of quitting now. "And if it actually encourages people to give up, in the long term, maybe it's a good thing ? obviously it's a good thing." Apparently, Shay believes that he and his fellow countrymen are completely unable to make the decision to quit smoking without the government stepping in to ban it from all public places. Oh he wants to quit, but without the gentle guiding hand of his friendly and caring government he is powerless. Nonsense. The logical next step to all of this is, of course, making cigarettes illegal altogether, but no government agency seems to be advocating that route either in Ireland or right here in America. If one follows Shay's logic, an outright ban would be a good thing in that it wouldn't just encourage people to quit, it would actually force them to quit. It would also force the government to forgo the revenue they reap from cigarrette taxes, and that simply ain't going to happen. So, both governments will continue to rail against the unhealthy and undesirable effects of cigarettes while licking their lips at the pile of money they were able to amass by profiting off their sale. In the meantime, my favorite activity while visiting Ireland (a puff and a pint in a pub) has been prohibited. The question is, can I carry my pint down the street in Dublin? I guess if I can fill that annoying down time necessary to walk from pub to pub by sucking down a pint of Guinness on the street with a heater dangling from my mouth, I can learn to adapt. Labels: Nanny State
Our A.G.'s Daughters Can Beat Up Your A.G's Daughters (updated)
Daughters of Minnesota attorney general arrested in Chicago: Two daughters of Minnesota Attorney General Mike Hatch assaulted police and broke a squad car window after a struggle at a Chicago dance club early Saturday, Chicago police said. Elizabeth Bell Hatch, 22, and Anne Hatch, 21, are scheduled to appear May 5 in Cook County Court. Taylor, the police spokeswoman, said that Elizabeth and Anne were intoxicated and that about 3 a.m., a club guard asked them to leave because "they were causing a disturbance, yelling and screaming" at a male patron. Police arrived shortly after the club called them. Officers told the women that "they were no longer welcome at the club and needed to leave," Taylor said. The women refused, and a verbal and physical skirmish broke out between them and police, she said. Elizabeth charged an officer, raised her hands and struck him in the face, knocking off his glasses, Taylor said. Anne struggled with another officer and scratched his face, Taylor added. UPDATE: Complaint filed against Chicago cops in arrest of Hatch's daughters: The Police Department's Office of Professional Standards is trying to determine if officers used excessive force when they arrested two daughters of Minnesota Attorney General Mike Hatch. Hatch says his daughters, Anne and Elizabeth, were both injured during an early morning altercation with police outside a Chicago nightclub this weekend. Those injuries included black eyes, cuts and a possible wrist fracture, Hatch said. The two women were celebrating Anne's 21st birthday at the Crobar nightclub on the city's Near North Side when Elizabeth began arguing a man who allegedly groped her, Hatch said. Nightclub staff then asked the women to leave. Once the sisters were outside, police told the women to leave the area and the two sisters began fighting with them, police said. After they were taken into custody, the women allegedly kicked out the rear window of a squad car, police spokeswoman JoAnn Taylor said. The daughters were released from a police station Saturday afternoon after being charged with misdemeanors including assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest and damaging a police car. Consider the following scenario. JB Doubtless and myself, in the more reckless days of youth, are in a Chicago booze joint imbibing a few cocktails. Late in the evening there is a disagreement between one of us (I'll let you guess who) and another patron. We are asked to leave the premises. Instead we become belligerent and refuse to depart. Eventually we do end up outside, where the local constabulary advises us to call it a night. Again we are uncooperative, even going so far as to take a swing at one of the Windy City's finest. The question at that point would not be if we would beaten to within inches of our lives, but rather how close we would come to slipping this mortal coil. At a minimum we'd facing the prospect of blood transfusions, full body casts, and weeks of gaining our nutritional sustenance through a straw. And we would have deserved just what we got. Growing up as a man you learn a few simple lessons of life. If you lip off to guys who are bigger or stronger than you, you will (eventually) get your ass kicked. If you don't listen to bouncers who tell you to leave a bar, you will get your ass kicked. And if you mess with the police, you will most assuredly get your ass kicked. On occasion these lessons are learned through personal (and painful) experience. More often they are learned when you witness those who violate these rules receiving a dose of brutish justice. Either way, you soon come to understand that actions, like ideas, have consequences. But I have noticed a growing and disturbing trend of members of the fairer sex not quite grasping this concept. The "empowerment" of women has given many of them the notion that they are, and should be, the equals of men. They can work like men, play sports like men, sleep around like men, swear like men, drink like men, and behave foolishly in public like men. They want to act just like men. But they don't want to accept the consequences of their actions that men have to. They want all the benefits and fun that behaving like a man can bring, without any of the responsibilities. When the music's playing and everyone is dancing they're all about being viewed and treated as equals. But when the fun stops and it's time to pay the piper, they suddenly retreat to the shelter of woman as helpless victim, deserving of special treatment because of their frailty and vulnerability. Sorry ladies, but you can't have it both ways. You want to act like a man? Fine. Then you get treated like a man. In all respects. You can talk the talk. But you also have to walk the walk.
Survey Says...
The results are in, and they show that you the people believe that the big money winner on the Power Players series of Jeopardy! will be the smooth talking Ari Fleisher. Here is the breakdown: Ari Fleisher 32.5% Keith Olbermann 16.7% Peggy Noonan 15.1% Tucker Carlson 8.7% Tim Russert 7.1% Maria Bartiromo 5.6% Bob Woodward 3.2% Gretchen Carlson 2.4% Al Franken 2.4% Kweisi Mfume 1.6% Anderson Cooper 1.6% Ashleigh Banfield 1.6% Christine Todd Whitman 0.8% Aaron Brown 0.8% Tavis Smiley 0.0% Meanwhile, the poll to determine the best looking contestant will continue until the end of the day. Right now Ashley Banfield and Maria Bartiromo are neck and neck (settle down Saint Paul) as they sprint for the finish, with only five votes separating them. Saturday, March 27, 2004
An Ode To Anything But Joy
Kim Ode writes a column in the Minneapolis Star Tribune Variety section. I usually take a pass on reading Ode, since she typically concentrates Erma Bombeckesque family/lifestyle subjects such as whether watching television is good for your kids (surprisingly Kim says no). But for some reason I was drawn to her latest effort that appeared on Wednesday, called We must pay attention -- it's our country and events are important. Hard to argue with that statement. It's so tempting to stop keeping up with the news. Most of the recent headlines either bring us down or raise our blood pressure. What would be the harm in not paying attention? Us? Hmmm....Doesn't really seem to describe the way I react when I follow the news. Not everyone feels this way, of course. Well, that's good to know. A certain proportion of the population devours the news with a satisfied righteousness. Substitute the word conservative for "a certain proportion of the population". Yeah, that's exactly how I feel. Smug, satisfied, righteous, bastard. That's me. Another group may wonder why I'm so bummed about the stuff on SNL's "Weekend Update". Because "Weekend Update" hasn't been funny since Norm McDonald? Still others don't pay attention at all and are OK with that. Yes, the great ignorant masses. If only they watched CNN or read the Star Tribune. But some of us read and watch the news with an increasing sense of despair and a growing suspicion that we've been snookered. It would be so easy to turn away, just for a while. An increasing sense of despair? Despair? Are things really THAT bad? Paging Dr. History. Report to the offices of the Star Tribune. Kim Ode needs a 200CC injection of perspective. STAT. Think of the time we could save by ignoring coverage of congressional investigations about Sept. 11, or tell-all books about backstage action, or efforts to amend the Constitution about anything. Think of the projects we could finish if we just said no to following the presidential campaign, or the path of environmental legislation, or the quest for who outed the CIA's Valerie Plame. Think of the purpose and clarity that you could bring to your writing. Tell-all books about "backstage action"? Efforts to amend the Constitution "about anything"? What the hell is she talking about? The Clarke book or Behind The Scenes of American Idol? Gay marriage or efforts to repeal the 16th Amendment and abolish the income tax? No longer would the kids' eyes glaze over at the mention of Iraq. Do you think it's "the mention of Iraq" or the fact that you're about launch into another lengthy diatribe about how evil Bush is for taking us to war that causes your kids to tune out? Dinner parties wouldn't end up sounding like support groups. Note to self: Decline any future invitations for dinner parties at the Ode's. The words parties and support groups should never be used in the same sentence. There'd be a lot less sputtering. There'd be a spring in our step, maybe even a fresh coat of paint in the dining room. If only Kim could be like the conservatives. Dumb, uninformed, and happy. More and more, I get the feeling that this administration wishes that we'd do that, that we would just take their word for it and move on, go to Disneyland, or to the casino, or to our couches. It's a tempting suggestion, just for a while. A while is all they may need. A while is all they may need? For what? To consolidate their stranglehold on our democracy? To crush the last of the brave dissenters? To establish the Ashcroft/Rove/Cheney/Halliburton military theocracy? We should never stop paying attention, of course. Paying attention is good for the country, good for our conscience. Sigh. Good for our conscience? This perfectly encapsulates how many on the left view politics. It's not right or wrong or good or bad results. It's all about how it makes you feel. And, like it or not, we're all in this together. No, we're quite obviously not. Friday, March 26, 2004
Papal Pigskin Proclamation
The Pope said today that Sunday should be a day for God and not for secular diversions like sports. I can't imagine that heeding the Pope's words will have much effect on the Minnesota Vikings. The team rarely bothers to show up for games on Sunday as it is.
Lazy Journalist Tells All
No, the title of this piece doesn?t refer to a tearful confession by a certain MPR education reporter about his work habits. Instead it?s an insider?s reaction to the media coverage of Richard Clarke?s accusations about the Bush Administration and the 9/11 attacks. I don?t know which traditional media outlet Ryan Rhodes writes for, but his excellent post today on his blog (Rambling Rhodes) confirms what many of us have long suspected: I'm not a grizzled veteran when it comes to journalism. I've basically been in the field now for six years or so, which isn't a whole lot, when you think about it. Regardless, there is one rule I've noticed when it comes to modern day journalists. We are f*cking LAZY. This doesn't apply to all journalists, mind you, just the vast majority. There is a miniscule minority of journalists out there who aren't afraid to roll up their sleeves and do a little background research and put together a tightly knit story, complete with facts and figures and interviews and excerpts from other sources. But, generally, journalists aren't interested in doing all that work. Journalists invest far more time and ingenuity into discovering ways to avoid hard investigative work than they do actually working. I can speak with a little bit of authority on this, because I've been known to do it from time to time, and I can recognize the familiar handiwork of journalistic reporters taking the easy road. If you know what to look for, it's really quite obvious. I can?t personally testify to Ryan?s laziness, but I do commend him for his honesty. And if forced to choose, I?d prefer to read an honestly lazy man over a hard working liar any day of the week. For this, Ryan Rhodes, lazy reporter, we salute you.
The Eye of the Beholder
I see Peggy Noonan is currently running in third place in the ?Who?s Hotter? poll being conducted on the left hand side of this fine Internet site. All things considered, not a bad showing for her. But she?s not getting my vote. Let me say at the outset, she has many things going for her. Smart as whip, insightful writer and news analyst, terrific prose stylist, professionally accomplished (including a stint in the White House with the great man himself, Reagan). She?s Irish, with an enchanting 100 proof Irish name. Wonderful voice too. A soft, feminine, beautiful tone to it. Warmth and refinement surrounding every syllable she utters. Her three hour CSPAN interview from 2002 was an aural odyssey of pleasure I?ll not soon forget. As a package deal, the woman is a thousand points of light. And if I were a 40-year-old features writer for the New Yorker (or the heir to Al Jaffe?s Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions at Mad Magazine), I?d be proud to have Gawker report the news that she was on my arm as we entered Tavern on the Green on a Saturday night. But in the cold calculus of the ?Who?s Hotter? genre, the package deal is not taken into account. Her looks are the thing, and there we have a bit of an issue. Now, there?s nothing terribly wrong with her face. In fact there?s a lot right about her beautiful, fashionably cut blond hair, her bottomless pale blue eyes which reveal a piercing intellect and just a hint of a tragedy. Her forehead, ears, cheekbones - fine, fine, fine. Draw a horizontal line across her face, centered about mid nose and concentrate on the top half only and she?s a knockout. It?s the lower half of the picture where the heretofore divine genetic code got a little scrambled. To be specific, it?s her big, flaring nostrils and long, thin lips. Upon intensive study, I believe they can only be described in one way: porcine. I was going to say ?overly porcine?, but when it comes right down to it, there?s no degree of pig-like features that can be considered aesthetically pleasing. It?s either porcine or it?s not. And truth be told, as it must in context of something as important as the Who?s Hotter poll, the lower half of her face kind of/sort of looks porcine. For this reason, my vote has to go to Ashley Banfield. On a superficial level, she is hotter. As I?ve clearly articulated above, I?m crazy about Peggy Noon. I just hope my critics in the mainstream media and the selective, skim readers out there don?t run wild with the out of context excerpting. Because it would be an injustice to wake up tomorrow and see the scream headline ?Saint Paul from Fraters Libertas Calls Peggy Noonan a Pig.? Not true! Not true!
Why You Must Always Read Everything We Post
Because if you don't, you risk missing the context in our latest offerings and end up looking like...well like an ape.
The NCAA hockey tournament is once again upon us. Sixteen teams, four regionals, four coveted places in the Frozen Four in Boston. Last year I went 13-2 in my NCAA tourney picks and chased my competition (Will who?) from town. This year I'm hooking up with a new challenger, Bill Tuomala from Exiled on Blog Street, and the field is so wide open that any team could conceivably take the whole thing. Here we go:
East Regional #1 Maine vs. #4 Harvard Maine has a great goaltender. Harvard finished strong. Maine prevails in a tight one 3-1 #2 Ohio State vs. #3 Wisconsin Wisconsin has been up and down all season and lost their WCHA playoff series to Alaska-Anchorage. Ohio State won the CCHA tourney last week. Momentum favor the Buckeyes 3-2 #1 Maine vs. #2 Ohio State Another very close contest but Maine moves on 2-1 Northeast Regional #1 Boston College vs. #4 Niagara BC lost five of it's last six. Niagara has been here before. BC has too much talent to lose 5-2 #2 Michigan vs. #3 New Hampshire Two teams that were in last year's Frozen Four. I'll take the Wolverines 4-2 #1 BC vs. #2 Michigan Michigan returns to the Frozen Four for the third straight year with a 3-2 win Midwest Regional #1 Minnesota vs. #4 Notre Dame The Gophers are rolling, but best not look past the Irish who have a number of quality wins this year. Goaltending is probably Minnesota's weak spot, and if Briggs is off his game Notre Dame will win. I think Briggs will be just good enough, with some help from Thomas Vanek, to earn a 5-4 victory #2 Minnesota-Duluth vs. #3 Michigan State The Bulldogs are hurting after last week's WCHA Final Five. Junior Lessard will play, but he won't be anywhere near 100%. Still they should have just enough to get past the Spartans 4-3 #1 Minnesota vs. #2 UMD This game is tough. I'm uneasy about picking the Gophers to beat the Dogs again just over a week after their 7-4 win in the WCHA semis. But when you get to the post season it's all about momentum and who's hot. The Gophers are, the Dogs aren't. Let's say a gut wrenching 6-5 OT thriller for the Maroon and Gold West Regional #1 North Dakota vs. #4 Holy Cross That thing I said about anybody winning the tournament? It should have been anybody BUT Holy Cross. The Sioux will have a little extra fire in their bellies after losing the WCHA Final Five Championship last weekend, and they will cruise past the Cross 6-2 #2 Denver vs. #3 Miami of Ohio Denver is a tough team to figure. They finished the regular season very strong before being swept by CC in the WCHA playoffs. I'm going with a minor upset here by taking Miami 4-3 in OT #1 North Dakota vs. #3 Miami With Denver out of the way, the Sioux should have an easy road to Boston ahead of them. They bounce Miami 7-3 The Frozen Four Maine vs. Michigan The Wolverines have been stopped in the semifinals each of the last two years. This time they get it done by beating Maine 3-1 Minnesota vs. North Dakota While I would love nothing more than seeing a Minnesota three peat, their run ends here. The Gophers beating the talent laden Sioux for a second straight time is just not probable. North Dakota wins 4-3 Championship Game North Dakota vs. Michigan The Sioux have too much offense for the Wolverines and will win their eighth national championship by a final score of 5-3. For those fans in the Twin Cities who are concerned about watching the games on television due to the Victory Sports brouhaha, fear not. The three local cable operators have agreed to accept Victory's offer to get the games for free: The package includes games involving the Gophers, who will play Notre Dame at 11 a.m. Saturday. Minnesota Duluth and North Dakota's games also will be seen. Comcast will show the available contests on Ch. 13, Time Warner on Ch. 23 and Charter on Ch. 14 in the south and Ch. 65 in the north. Pull up an easy chair, crack open a beer, sit back and enjoy. It just don't get no better. Labels: Hockey (02-05)
In case you haven't head, this week's Northern Alliance Radio Show promises to be a classic. Guests appearing in the second hour include Kenneth Timmerman, author of The French Betrayal of America, and Thomas Lipscomb, the NY Sun reporter who's been leading the coverage of the Kerry-V.V.A.W. assassination plot story. Rumor has it that Hugh already tried to line these guys up as guests, but when they called in, Generalissimo Duane hung up on them.
Meanwhile, I continue to work on landing my first big time guest for the program. The bass I'm trying to boat is Marty, the manager and Thursday night trivia host at Keegan's Irish Pub. He's a tough nut to crack, but I think my relentless pleading is starting to get to him. If not, there's always that waitress that we tip so well. Riveting radio my friends. Riveting radio. Labels: NARN (04-05) Thursday, March 25, 2004
One Against Nature
I freakin' hate apes. Always have. Apes, gorillas, orangutans, monkeys, macaques--any type of feral beast that is vaguely human. And I've always resented this bizarre notion that somehow we have something in common with these nasty, feces-flinging abominations. Personally, I share nothing with them. Some of you may, depending on your voting habits, taste in beer and belief in the vitality of punk music. A short story to illustrate this point...about ten years ago, myself, St. Paul and his then girlfriend went to the Oklahoma City Zoo to enjoy some animals. St. Paul was deeply into a Scorcese identity crisis and carried an inherited video camera with him at all times. Tired of his directions as to my "motivation" I approached an ape exhibit and proudly declared to the filthy, putrid thing behind the bars "WE ARE NOT RELATED!" I somehow think he (that is, the beast...St. Paul was concerned we were "losing the light") understood on some basic level. So I was thrilled to read the following in this morning's WSJ: Misapprehensions to the contrary, humans did not evolve from chimps. Both species evolved from a common, apelike ancestor (ed note: save for JB Doubtless--he was created by God and sent from Heaven to his mother's womb). Yet since the two lineages diverged some five million years ago, the genetic changes have been few. Chimps are our closest living relative (ed note: not really "our" unless you like the Sex Pistols or something). There it is. MOST of us (DFL contributors aside) did not evolve from apes. Many did, I understand. I'm just glad I'm not one of them.
File Under 'Who'd Have Thunk it?'
Michael Medved is OLDER than Richard Clarke?!? According to Medved, he's a spry fifty five, while Clarke is a well worn fifty three.
Getting To Noam
C.W. e-mails to alert us that Noam Chomsky has his own blog (or at least he appears to-it could be a clever CIA/Mossad/Skull and Bones plot to discredit him). I challenge anyone to read the comments that some of his posts have elicited, and honestly say that you can separate the satire from the reality.
Let's Talk About What Really Matters
A couple of readers have suggested that we get to the true heart of the matter when it comes to the Jeopardy! 'Power Players' competition. (Note: if you're having trouble with our poll on who will win the most money, it's a Java issue. It worked fine on my home PC last night, but at work I can't vote unless I use Netscape instead of IE. If you have a big problem with this repeat to yourself- it's just a poll, I should really just relax. ) And what matters is not who will win the most money. It's who is hotter. And with that we give you a look at the six finalists: Looking sassy and smart with the spectacles, Ashley Banfield
Former Miss America, Gretchen Carlson  A nod to JB Doubtless with the classy and mature, Peggy Noonan 
How about the fixed assets of Maria Bartiromo? 
For those who prefer more moderate, natural looks we present, Christine Todd Whitman (giving us her best "Mitch Berg just asked me out?" look) 
Last but certainly not least, here's a little something for the ladies (and fans of Deliverance-page down): CNN's Anderson Cooper 
(Thanks to Rick and Sean for the concept)
A piece appeared in last week's Economist on a forthcoming book, which examines the differing attitudes towards the poor between Europe and America. It has spawned discussion among such luminaries of the blogosphere as Kevin Drum , Robert Tagorda , and our favorite
The authors of the book, Fighting Poverty in the US and Europe: A World of Difference, conclude that politics and race are the explanations for the differences in outlook: America's political structures differ from Europe's. They are older?not something most people on either side of the Atlantic usually realise?and more governed by conservative forces. Most countries in Europe have undergone turbulent political change in the past century; America has at least the bones of a structure created more than two centuries ago. Europe's upheavals have installed proportional representation in most countries, a structure that has facilitated the growth of socialist and communist parties. ?There is a general relationship between the age of institutions and their unfriendliness to the welfare state,? they argue. The second cause seems to getting most of the focus: The other half of the explanation lies in America's racial diversity. In spite of 20 years of unprecedented immigration, European countries, particularly smaller ones like Portugal and those of Scandinavia, are still highly racially homogenous. America, by contrast, has great diversity, which is especially wide in some states. In addition, the poor in America are disproportionately non-white. Non-Hispanic whites are 71% of America's population but only 46% of the poor. Racial diversity in individual states is correlated with the generosity of welfare. For instance, the authors find that in 1990 Aid to Families with Dependent Children ranged from over $800 per family per month in mainly white Alaska to less than $150 in Alabama and Mississippi, where almost one-third of the population is black. Even after adjustment for inter-state differences in average incomes, the correlation with race remained strong. Across countries, too, racial diversity goes with low government spending on poverty relief. The reason, argue the authors, is that ?race matters?, and they marshal statistical evidence, much of it from opinion surveys, to back this up. People are likely to support welfare if they live close to recipients of their own race; but are antipathetic if they live near recipients from another race. The divergent attitudes of Europeans and Americans to the poor are underwritten by the fact that the poor in Europe tend to be ethnically the same as most other folk. In America, their skin is often a different colour. So our diversity might not be our strength? This is a fascinating theory and one that will surely merit more discussion when the book is published next month. I'm not going to get into the race aspect now, but I found these other statistics showcasing differences between Europe and America most interesting: NOTHING better encapsulates the different attitudes of America and Europe to the poor than a table towards the end of Alberto Alesina's and Edward Glaeser's remarkable book, due to be published later this month. It compares the prevalence of three beliefs: that the poor are trapped in poverty; that luck determines income; and that the poor are lazy. The first is held by only 29% of Americans but by 60% of citizens of the European Union; the second, by 30% of Americans and 54% of Europeans; and the third, by contrast, by 60% of Americans and 24% of Europeans. These beliefs are so broadly stated that I would be hesitant to say they apply across the board. But if forced to choose, my message to the Euros would be, "Three strikes and you're out". It continues: Americans, by contrast, are much more likely to give money privately. They appear to have given $691 per head in charitable donations in 2000, compared with contributions of $141 in Britain and a mere $57 in Europe as a whole. That is a huge difference. I'm sure that part of the reason for it would be the decline of organized religion in the lives of many Europeans. There is a well established correlation between those who practice a religion and charitable giving. Of course, secularists can, and often do donate money and time to charities. But on average they don't do it as much as those who are religious. The other explanation is that Europeans view much of the work typically done by charities as a government function. The onerous tax burden that they have to bear pays for these activities so in their minds they've already "donated" to the cause. Rather than "I gave at the office", it's "I gave in my paycheck". Instead of individuals evaluating various charities and directing their money where they feel it is most needed and would do the most good, the government confiscates whatever monies it determines it needs from everyone and distributes these funds through a political and bureaucratic process that the average citizen probably neither understands or has influence over. Again the choice to me seems pretty clear. The next time you hear the tired plea, usually on such issues as vacation time, public transportation, or health care, "Why can't we be more like Europe?", just remember that the answer is actually quite simple. We don't want to. Labels: Books Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Doing Master's Bidding
Hugh Hewitt was talking about the upcoming JEOPARDY! special 'Power Player' competition on his show today, and asking his guests which contestant they believe will win the most money. Now he has tasked us to run a poll on the subject. His wish is our command. Unless he ever asks us to ride on the back of a snowmobile he's piloting. Or invites us over to listen to his collection of pop music. Or... If you're curious, Hugh is going with Keith Olbermann. Which pretty much guarantees that Olbermann will be cracking wise, but winning little.
Pitchers And Catchers Report
To Mars? How long will it be before the Weekly World News reports that Steinbrenner has inked a Martian? (Tipped off by Scott Boone)
Chinese Democracy
Apparently the presidential election results in Taiwan are causing a bit of a controversy. It?s mostly based on the closeness of the outcome. Out of more than 13 million votes cast, the difference was only 30,000 votes. In addition, nearly 340,000 votes were declared invalid by election officials. A recount is being demanded by the losing side, and just today the government agreed to it, in some form. I normally wouldn?t expect a lot to come from this. Historically speaking (in the US). barring fraud, recounts usually increase the vote margin for the presumptive victor. Reason being, lost, missing and invalidated ballots (as a whole) take on the characteristics of a random sample of the population - thus proving incompetence is evenly distributed across political affiliations. If the recounted ballots are distributed across the entire electoral base, then even a .9% differential in the initial count can result in a couple thousand more vote increase in the margin for the original leader. A fact the Gore-Lieberman (aka Sore-Loserman) campaign was no doubt aware of when they were suing in court to only recount a handful of counties in Florida, counties in which they knew they were the leaders. I don?t know diddly about Taiwanese electoral procedures. But I?m willing to give the government the benefit of the doubt on the fraud allegations. The country has decades of experience with administering elections. In terms of respect for the rule of law, they?re almost to First World standards. They have a relatively free press and an active, engaged (and now enraged) political opposition, so it shouldn?t be possible to pull off a blatant fraud. Plus, their current leader is a staunch anti-Communist, so deep in your heart, you know he?s right. However, the issue of the alleged assassination attempt on President Chen a few days before the election does give one pause. No one was seriously injured, despite initial, elective eve reports to the contrary. No suspects have been identified and several incongruities exist in Chen's treatment and in the investigation of the incident. The opposition is crying foul - saying it was all nothing more than a staged sympathy ploy. Normally, I?d dismiss this accusation as screwball reverse Kennedy assassination conspiracy theorizing (and wonder if Jesse Ventura has started teaching a course on this at Harvard yet). But then I read this historical nugget, about President Chen?s dramatic past. From the NY Times: ...Mr. Chen, running for office in Tainan 18 years ago, appeared at an election-eve rally with an intravenous drip and claiming that he had been poisoned by the Nationalists, then the governing party. He appeared healthy the next day Interesting. Well, if this whole election thing doesn?t work out for Chen after all, at least he can fall back on a career in professional wrestling promotions.
Liberals Say The Darndest Things
For those of us not paying attention, tyranny has descended upon the United States and the voices of truth are soon to be squelched. Fun, well-grounded City Pages blogger Elaine Cassel updates us on the state of the Union, as she sees it: So, what I predicted, and worse, is upon us, and I am not hearing much outrage about any of it. A yawn, a ?what?s new,? a ?does that surprise you, Cassel?? is about all I am getting when I rant and rave. No, it does not surprise me, it terrifies me. Four more years of Bush and I doubt that I will be writing or you will be reading these warnings. We will have been silenced. I wish I were exaggerating, but this past year has taught me that, if anything, my warnings have been too tame. It?s fun to pretend. Even more fun to imagine you?re an unappreciated voice of insight and truth, at the center of a great drama, in opposition to a diabolical conspiracy. Hell, it sure beats being a blogger for an alternative weekly newspaper. Oh sure, she may be silenced if Bush is re-elected (we?ll be strictly monitoring her blog on election night, maybe get a countdown clock started). Or she may be silenced if there?s a responsible person in an editorial function at the City Pages who actually reads her work. Given the paper?s typical standards, I think Geo. Bush arriving at her apartment and personally unplugging her PC, taking the mouse out of her grasping fingers, and slapping the cuffs on is a more plausible scenario. Back to Elaine: We have seen a despot, and he is occupying the White House. We have seen tyranny, and it is the Bush Administration. And yes, I am certain that, if there has been any doubt heretofore, now I am sure that I can be labeled a ?terrorist? for saying it. And you, likely, are a terrorist for reading it. Sorry about that folks, but you?ve just been snared in a terrorist sting operation. Ever since I signed up at the MN State Fair to be a GOP Team Leader, I?ve felt a personal responsibility to help defend the Homeland. And, well, you got swept up in it. Nothing personal, but please report to the nearest re-education camp immediately. Just follow the sounds of Elaine Cassel?s screaming. Or is it her silence? It?s hard to tell the difference. Tuesday, March 23, 2004
There's something compelling about music that suggests something gone awry, whether it's rock, folk, metal or techno, whether what's troubling the artist is conveyed by an ominous growl of a guitar, a disturbing pattern on the bass, a mysterious lyric or a dark, evocative voice. These albums, all of which share a terse, visual quality, have little in common but their ability to haunt.
Their ability to haunt, folks. There it is. Pretty well sums up the post-modern music critic's take on what they value in recordings. Believe it or not, this was not written by the Strib's hipster-in-residence Chris Remenschneider, who has been chronicled here many times for writing similar crap about why music that is cynical, snarling, dark, moody, depressed, angry or hateful is actually what we consumers should be on the lookout for. No, today's piece is from the WSJ and was penned by Jim Fusilli (Jerry). He goes on to describe the recordings in more detail and why we should run right out and get them: The new CD by Grant Lee Phillips is a moving serenade in minor keys, a journey through melancholy. It's also the best album yet by Phillips... A journey through melancholy. A journey through melancholy is not a journey I am interested in making. I mean, I'm spending three hours with Mitch Berg a week the way it is. Chris Vrenna, programming whiz and former drummer of Nine-Inch Nails, blends organic music with walls of whirling synthesizers and roaring guitars to generate threatening techno-soundscapes...the album stands on its own as a poignant, menacing piece of modern experimentation. Threatening and menacing? Yes, that does sound entertaining. But if I wanted to enjoy something threatening and menacing, I'd pull the police report from when the Atomizer was banned from Match.com. Labels: That's Entertainment
A Great Day (or two) For Hockey
Last weekend I had the pleasure of watching two highly entertaining (and one rather humdrum) WCHA Final Five hockey games at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul. I love the game of hockey at all levels of play, but there's something about the fans, the bands, and the rivalries that makes college hockey my favorite. Especially at tournament time when fans from various schools (some playing in the tournament, some not) come together to catch the action, converse with others who share their passion, and most of all have a hell of a good time. On Friday afternoon my wife and I watched the University of North Dakota Sioux knock off the Alaska-Anchorage Sea Wolves, who, up to that point, had been the Cinderella story of the tournament. After the game we hurried out of the arena and made a beeline to a local St. Paul watering hole for some vittles and liquid refreshment. Unfortunately, every such establishment within a ten block radius of the Xcel Energy Center was already packed with thirsty hockey fans. We wandered around downtown St. Paul for what seemed like forty years before coming upon the land of milk and honey; a bar that wasn't standing room only. Granted it was a dive, smoking appeared to be mandatory, the regulars could have appeared as extras in the movie 'Barfly', and the closest we could come to food was a frozen pizza. But the Summit was flowing freely and we had a premo location at the bar. Life was good. And surprisingly so was the pizza. Either that or we were already half in the bag and so hungry that the cardboard packaging would have tasted like a gourmet feast. We chatted with a couple of Sioux fans seated next to us. They were quite knowledgeable about hockey with a good sense of humor as well. By the time we finished our pizza and had a last round before the next game, it was only ten minutes to the opening face off and we still had a lengthy walk back to the arena ahead of us. The NoDak boys had wisely called a cab and offered to let us tag along. We gladly took them up on it and soon were motoring our way to the rink. After my wife noted the presence of a butcher knife in the front seat, the cabbie regaled us with his tale of being stabbed eight times while on duty in his second month on the job. He assured us that it would not happen again, hence the knife. And if he did have to defend himself, he wasn't going to be bothered by any unnecessary paperwork or hassles (he had the notion that if you killed someone, whether justified or not you had to pay their burial expenses) either: "I'm just going to chop 'em up in little pieces and put 'em in my trunk." Okaaaay then. Oh look there's the arena. My time flies when you're having fun. Well we hate to chat and run but we really do have to be going. Here's your fare. No, no change. You just keep it. Yeah, take care of yourself now. Whew. Friday night's contest featured the University of Minnesota facing off against their upstate rivals from the University of Minnesota-Duluth. When the Dawgs jumped out to an early 3-1 lead on the Gophers, the UMD fans around us were quite full of themselves and didn't hesitate to let those of us cheering for the Maroon and Gold know it. But when the Danny Irmen show kicked into high gear (two goals-one short handed), and the Gophers rallied to take control en route to a 7-4 victory, the Bulldog faithful became awfully quiet. If I may be so bold as to offer a little advice to Duluth fans: Win something (in the last fifteen years) that counts and then you can talk. Those four regular season victories over the U of M don't mean nothin' now. It's not a fluke that the Gophers are two time defending national champions. They find a way to win when it matters. Probably more so this year than ever. Your Dogs may well get another shot at the Gophers in the Midwest Regional. If they can get it done then, more power to you. Until then please stifle. Saturday I was at the Dickensian workhouse known as AM 1280- The Patriot (I must say that their gruel is quite tasty though ) to slog through another long, hard afternoon of radio. Then church. Then back to the Xcel for the championship game between the Gophers and Fightin' Sioux. Nineteen thousand plus on hand. The atmosphere was electric and the place was a buzzin'. Two teams and schools that live up to the "they don't like each other" billing. Despite the fact that both teams had already secured #1 seeds in the upcoming NCAA tourney and that the outcome wasn't going to impact the seedings, the game still mattered. The WCHA playoff title, pride, and the pain of losing to a bitter rival were all on the line. And the result was a whale of a hockey game. The Gophers came out of the chutes strong and definitely held the edge in play throughout the first period. But when the buzzer sounded it was not reflected on the scoreboard. Despite a two to one edge in shot for the Gophers, the score was knotted at one with the teams trading power play tallies. Danny Irmen netted the Gopher goal, his third of the weekend after getting ten the entire regular season. The second period belonged mostly to the Sioux. The Gophers did strike first to take a 2-1 lead, and it looked like they then made it 3-1. But after review, the goal was disallowed which seemed to change the momentum. The Sioux tied the score and were on the power play play when the Gophers Troy Riddle had a short handed breakaway. He tried to fake the Sioux keeper and get him to go down, but ended up not even getting a shot on net. Mere seconds later, just after the power play expired, Zach Parise scored to give North Dakota their first lead of the game. Two turning points in the period. Both went the way of the Sioux. Between periods I was ranting about the failures of the Gophers big guns to deliver. Through two period the only place on the score sheet where Riddle and Thomas Vanek had appeared was in the penalty column. Riddle had been in the sin bin twice and Vanek once again demonstrated his lack of maturity and control by taking an incredibly stupid penalty, when he high sticked Zach Parise behind the play. He was fortunate to only be sent off for two minutes. Vanek is the Randy Moss of college hockey. Loads of talent and the ability to make spectacular plays are offset by a lack of effort at times and a penchant for losing his cool. The only thing preventing this kid from being the best player in college hockey is his approach to the game. If you put Jake Fleming's attitude in Thomas Vanek's body you would have a sure fire Hobey Baker winner. Meanwhile, the pair of Hobey Baker finalists from North Dakota were doing their part. Parise had a goal and two assists through two, while Brandon Bochenski had a tally and a helper. The reason for the North Dakota lead was that their top players were getting it done, while the Gophers were not. But in hockey, as in life, things can change quickly. Early in the third Vanek picked off a pass, broke in on the Sioux net, and showed ridiculous patience before finally putting the puck behind the goalie. Vintage Vanek. Less than three minutes later the other heretofore quiet Gopher star, Troy Riddle stuffed one past Jake Brandt and suddenly the Gophers were up 4-3. The Sioux were not so easily finished however, and when Bochenski scored his second goal of the game on a shorthanded breakaway midway through the period, I began readying myself for the rigors of sudden death overtime. It's nerve wracking, heart pounding, agony for the hard core hockey fan. It's the worst of times and the best of times, rolled into one hypertensive, stomach churning bundle of emotion. You love it AND you hate it at the same time, and when you end up on the losing end it's a miserable feeling. One that I was able to avoid when the heart and soul of the Gophers delivered once again. Gophers captain Grant Potulny is likely to never play in the NHL. He's not a great skater, his shot is average, and he doesn't have much finesse. But he's the kind of player that every coach would love to have on their team. He's the guy who makes it happen. Somehow, someway, he finds a way to win. Two years ago he scored the OT game winner against Maine to give the Gophers their first national title in twenty one years. Last year his return from injury was the spark that propelled the Gophers to the second consecutive national championship. And with less than six minutes remaining on Saturday night, he kept the Gophers post season roll going when he popped up from behind the North Dakota net, and jammed the puck in. Sure, there were some nervous moments down the stretch as the Sioux pressed the attack, pulling their goalie to gain a six on four advantage with over four minutes left, but the Gophers refused to relinquish the lead. When the buzzer sounded they had claimed the WCHA playoff title with a 5-4 win. Another great game in a great weekend of hockey. If the NCAA regional playoffs and Frozen Four are anywhere near as good as this, it's gonna be a fun coupla of weeks. Let the real March Madness begin.
The Smell Of Victory In Gaza?
John Derbyshire at NRO marvels at Ariel Sharon's restraint: 'The outside world is even more confused than before.' Well, **I** am not confused. Sharon wanted to say: 'If you organize, plan, inspire, or condone terror attacks against our people, we will find you and kill you.' Seems pretty un-confusing to me. The only thing I don't understand is how, when thousands of terrorist supporters came out on the streets of Gaza next day for the old guy's funeral, Sharon was able to restrain himself from sending in the air force with a few tons of napalm.
Reaping The Whirlwind
Hugh Hewitt has a great analogy on the attempts to lay the blame for not properly dealing with Al-Qaeda (and possibly preventing 9/11) at the feet of the Bush administration: Clarke et al can scream from now until November that 9/11 was Bush's fault and that he was a superman who could have stopped the war before it began and won the war had he only been given the tools. It is fantasy-land stuff, as though Lord Halifax had criticized Churchill in 1940 for failing to prevent the fall of France. Such a charge would have diminished the Chamberlin ally Halifax, not Churchill, and Clarke's carping only reminds people of one of the many problems Bush inherited in 2001 --a career staff riddled with desk generals and paper shuffling seminar leaders.
Yesterday local radio station AM 1280 - The Patriot made their long awaited and much promoted "big announcement". In case you missed it:
COMING APRIL 5TH! A new morning show on The Patriot. It's 'Mourning in America' live every morning Mon.-Fri. from 5 AM - 8 AM featuring The Northern Alliance Radio Network. The show will be a fast-paced, eye opening national morning show with news, headline-making guests from the worlds of politics, media, sports and entertainment. Okay, okay. It's not the NARN filling the slot. It's some guy from D.C. named Bill Bennett. I think he used to host a morning show there called the 'Values Zoo' using the on air moniker 'The Zany Tsar'. While we're all obviously a little disappointed that we didn't get the nod, Saint Paul for one is ecstatic that, at long last, there will be a talk radio host able to answer the type of burning questions of life that keep him up at night. Do you hit on a soft-17 if the dealer is showing a six? Labels: Media-National (02-06) Monday, March 22, 2004
Look At Me! I'm Important Too!
Perhaps Richard Clarke wasn't as prescient as he claims. At least that was what Security Focus columnist George Smith suggested just over a year ago: Years ago, Clarke bet his national security career on the idea that electronic war was going to be real war. He lost, because as al Qaeda and Iraq have shown, real action is still of the blood and guts kind. In happier times prior to 9/11, Clarke -- as Bill Clinton's counter-terror point man in the National Security Council -- devoted great effort to convincing national movers and shakers that cyberattack was the coming thing. While ostensibly involved in preparations for bioterrorism and trying to sound alarms about Osama bin Laden, Clarke was most often seen in the news predicting ways in which electronic attacks were going to change everything and rewrite the calculus of conflict. September 11 spoiled the fun, though, and electronic attack was shoved onto the back-burner in favor of special operations men calling in B-52 precision air strikes on Taliban losers. One-hundred fifty-thousand U.S. soldiers on station outside Iraq make it perfectly clear that cyberspace is only a trivial distraction. It looks to me that Clarke is simply a bitter little man who feels slighted not only by the current administration, which was responsible for his demotion, but also by previous administrations which never seemed to take his arm waving and alarm blowing about cyberterrorism quite as seriously as they tended to look at the more physical forms of terror. He resents the fact that his predictions were so off the mark as well as the fact that the real face of terrorism made his dire warnings, and himself, seem almost irrelevant. He's now desperately seeking that relevance by trashing the Bush administration and has been greeted with open arms by the media that shamelessly embodies this goal.
It's Piling Up So Fast, We Need Wings To Stay Above It
Last night I approached the Richard Clarke 60 Minutes interview with an open mind. I didn?t know his background, didn?t know his story, but his high position in the administration would have seemed to give him some credibility. But after about two minutes, even through the Leslie Stahl/Don Hewitt veil of skewed reality, this facade began to crack. The first sign of trouble was Clarke?s description of his mindset on 9/11: "I kept thinking of the words from 'Apocalypse Now,' the whispered words of Marlon Brando, when he thought about Vietnam. 'The horror. The horror.' Because we knew what was going on in New York. We knew about the bodies flying out of the windows. People falling through the air. We knew that Osama bin Laden had succeeded in bringing horror to the streets of America," On one of the most cataclysmic days an American government ever had to face, and he?s sitting around, dwelling on cliched cultural references. This is not what I?d expect from a responsible, high government official. This is what I?d expect from a blogger. And needless to say, the two mindsets should never be intermingled. His choice of a cultural reference based in loss and failure is also significant. Also see his wallowing in the victimhood aspects of the day, and the desire to compliment the terrorists and to feed their twisted desires by telling them exactly what they want to hear (?Bin Laden had succeeded in brining horror to the streets of America.?). It?s uniquely characteristic of the political Left. For only as victims do they feel they have a right to pursue their own interests. And only by acknowledging the power of the terrorists, and cowering before it, can the path of appeasement be traversed. Sickening sentiments for most Americans, I think. For most of us, the iron entered our hearts, even during those first shocking hours of the attack. The terrorists didn?t succeed in anything. They pulled off an atrocity that any reasonably competent, yet wildly demented, organization could have done. There are no compliments for that, there are no acknowledgements of their success. There is lethal retribution and oblivion for them. And that?s all. Needless to say, Clarke?s behavior and rhetoric is not characteristic of the Bush administration?s philosophy or policies. As the 60 Minutes story continued, it was clear this guy was an outsider and ineffectual in his job. Even assuming his claims are true (which is not a given) he was unable to get meetings and unable to communicate effectively with anyone. It became clear he was nothing more than a hold over from previous administrations, an ineffectual bureaucrat, never respected by the Bush team. He was probably only kept on for appearance?s sake. I?m sure someone thought having some degree of continuity with the Clinton White House would look good politically, and if they just gave this guy a desk, a salary, with no real responsibility, what harm could it do? Washington has tens of thousands of these types sitting around, what possible problem could one more cause? A hard lesson learned in management and human nature. Never employ anyone you don?t trust. Because it turns out even clock punching cogs usually have egos. And material desires. So now the guy the Bush administration didn?t trust with anything besides an impressive title is using that very possession to avenge his raging ego. Selfishly settling scores, trying to sell books, and maybe land a job with John Kerry, all under the guise of being a champion of truth. Of course, all aided by a compliant media, rushing to judgment with scream headlines on the substance of his claims. How much damage will this story do to Bush?s prospects? It?s hard to say. This election will tilt upon those fine folks on the fence, who don?t make up their minds on who to vote for until the last minute. With the media?s continuing willingness to promote the ?Bush Caused 9/11? story, this might just be on their minds come election day. If so, I better get started thinking of my own Apocalypse Now references for my Wednesday Nov. 3 post.
Someone Has Not Forgotten
 The owner of this truck is from Shafer, Minnesota and decided, as a tribute to those who lost their lives on 9/11, that he would create a "rolling memorial". The names of all those who died that day are listed on the sides of he truck. He paid for the cost of the art work completely out of his own pocket. More pics here, here, and here. Sunday, March 21, 2004
Behind The Bandstanding
After listening to Richard Clarke bash the Bush administration's approach to fighting terrorism on Sixty Minutes tonight, I was planning to do some further research on Clarke and his background to try to determine what his possible motivation for his broadsides might be. At first I was intrigued by Clarke's critique, but soon noticed that he was subtly parroting many of the DNC talking points on the subject. Thankfully the leg work on Clarke has already been very ably done by Hindrocket at Powerline in a detailed post called Richard Clarke, Fraud.
A Stoic Face Shows Up In Iraq
From (of all places) today's Sid Hartman column in the Star Tribune: Former Vikings coach Bud Grant, back from a week of visiting the troops in Iraq with a group of NFL alumni, said the soldiers have a different view about the situation there than what is being told here. "They called it 'Meet and Greet' the troops," Grant said. "We weren't like politicians. We weren't with the generals." Grant said the one thing the troops wanted to convey was the situation there is not like it is portrayed by the media in this country. "They've got a job to do," Grant said. "They hate [CBS news anchor] Dan Rather because he only wants to talk about who got killed. And they're doing so much more than killing people or getting killed. They are supporting the countryside, they're helping them keep everything as peaceful as they can. They're opening schools and waterways and electrical outlets. They're doing things to help the country." "There's so much good that's going on, so many good things that they're out there every night patrolling, keeping the peace as much as they can, helping people get on their feet, establishing roads and communication," Grant said. "So much is good, and nobody wants to report that."
Just in case you want to read even more about Al Franken and the Liberal Radio Network, today?s New York Times Magazine chimes in, with their cover story. It's an adoring, breathless profile by Russell Shorto, entitled ?Al Franken, Seriously.?
Of course, the Northern Alliance Radio Network already provided a nuanced, academic discussion of the issue yesterday (highlighted by several on air hosts challenging Franken to a fist fight). But, to it?s credit, the Times piece does provide a few pieces of new information: From 1966 to 1969, Franken was a member of the varsity wrestling team at his high school in Hopkins, Minn. Six years after graduation, when he showed up in New York to begin work as a writer on the first season of ''Saturday Night Live,'' he was still almost as much an athlete as a comedian. ''He seemed like a total jock,'' says the comedian Laraine Newman, who was a member of the original cast. ''He always had a football in his hands when they were writing. And he had this very defined musculature. His butt was like a cut basketball. To our credit, even if we would have known Franken?s ass was like a cut basketball, we wouldn?t have brought it up. We and the Patriot (AM 1280) have broadcast standards. Plus, I?m not even sure what it means to have an ass like a cut basketball. Is it orange and pebbly? Does it have black stripes and ?Wilson? branded on it? Is often handled by large men in gym shorts? It?s difficult to say, but apparently some on the Left are quite enamored of it. The Times article states Al has become a bit of a sex symbol. This describes Franken?s appearance at a John Kerry rally: But then an actual shriek went up -- the sort of girl-squeal you associate with footage of the early Beatles. A gang of young women in RockTheVote.org T-shirts was responsible for the high notes, but lots of others joined in. Heads turned; people waved; cameras flashed. ''It's Al Franken! Al! Over here! Oh, my God!'' Pathetic and sad, yes. But shed no tears for the Democrats. Like presidential candidates, political parties get the sex symbols they deserve. Labels: Media-National (02-06) Saturday, March 20, 2004
For listeners of today?s Northern Alliance Radio Network broadcast intrigued by our 3rd hour discussion of the upcoming liberal radio network, follow the link below to read more about the true nature of Progress Media and specificallly Lizz Winstead. It?s a Fraters Classic post, originaly appearing December 4, 2003, entitled: To Be Or Not To Be.
Labels: Media-National (02-06)
Bring It On
Bob Von Sternberg has a front page piece in today's Star Tribune (registration required) on the potential impact of political web ads, focusing particular attention on blogs and Blogads. For the uninitiated, blogs (shorthand for Web log) are online personal journals posted and continually updated on the World Wide Web. While many are insular and self-referential, an increasing number are pointedly political, with distinct partisan leanings. Insular and self-referential? Us? Why just the other day I was talking about this subject with Mitch Berg from Shot In The Dark and... Increasingly, bloggers have discovered a way to turn their private obsession into a profit center by selling ads that are remarkably cheap compared to ad rates demanded by broadcast and print mass media. Recognizing a potentially ripe market when he saw one, North Carolina Internet entrepreneur Henry Copeland invented Blogads.com, a business to place ads on blogs that share the political leanings of the advertiser. This is part of his sales pitch: "You need to woo the early adopters that traditional media can't reach. ... Read by fanatics, pundits and journalists, blogs increasingly set the insider agenda. Use blogads to start advertising where opinions are made." That actually does describe our readers quite well. The fanatic part at least. Whether the ads work or not, they've been a windfall for bloggers, who have been able to boost their rates as much as 50 percent because of increasing demand, Copeland said. "And they are going to rise more," he said. "Since bloggers don't have big overheads and lots of mouths to feed, they can charge less. They are extraordinarily cheap relative to corporate media. Advertising that would cost you $70,000 on WashingtonPost.com would cost $3,000 on blogs." Speaking as a blog with enormous overhead (the monthly mortgage payment on the sprawling Fraters compound itself is more than the GDP of most African countries) and many mouths to feed (the way the Krispy Kremes are fought for in the weekly staff meetings resembles nothing less than a pack of hyenas battling over a carcass on the Serengeti plains) this is a most welcome development. Up to this point we haven't dabbled in advertising here at Fraters Libertas, because quite frankly we wondered why anyone in their right minds would fork over as much as a dime to appear on our site. But now with the obvious paradigm shift in the advertising mindset regarding blogs, we're more than willing to start selling out and cashing in. So we say bring it on. Political campaign managers in Minnesota and nationwide should know that we're ready to play ball. Republicans, Democrats, Greens, Reformers, Buchannites, socialists, Larouchites, communist worker's, Luddites, Know Nothings, constitutionalists, whigs, hell we'll even sell ads to those wacky Libertarians. Principles be damned. It's time for payola. Get in now before we're forced to raise rates. You can be assured that if you don't, your opponents will: While no Minnesota candidates appear to have launched ads, the DFL has jumped into the "blogosphere," where ads run by state parties are still rare. The party's ads, bought by the DFL House Democratic Caucus, blare: "Don't Let Bush Turn Minnesota Into 2004's Florida!!" The ads, launched this week at a cost of $2,000, netted about $400 in the first few days, said John Van Hecke, the caucus' campaign manger. "I'd been thinking a lot about what Howard Dean was doing, about the success of folks like MoveOn and hoped this could work really well," he said. "It's the job of a political organization to communicate with voters, and an awful lot of people read blogs. Politics is not rocket science. You go where the people are." Friday, March 19, 2004
John McCain: as conservatives, we appreciate your dedication and sacrifice for this country as a POW.
But we also sometimes wonder how things might be better off if you were MIA. Labels: Politics-National (02-04)
An Editorial House Made Of Straw
Long time friend of Fraters, Gary Larson blows down the arguments of Star Tribune deputy editor Jim Boyd that it's the GOP that practices "gutter politics".
The Next Bush Campaign Ad Featuring Sideshow Bob As GW
Bob: "Friends, my opponent, John Kerry, is confused about your national security. Do you know what he does? He flip-flops." [does backflips; Americans marvel] "Sometimes he doesn't know whether he's coming or going." [walks funny; Americans clap and cheer] "He wants to sell your future short." [shrinks, walks sideways; Americans clap more]
Today I'm off to the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul to catch the WCHA (Western Collegiate Hockey Association) Final Five semifinal contests. This afternoon upstart Alaska-Anchorage takes on the mighty North Dakota Fightin' Sioux, while this evening the Bulldawgs from Minnesota-Duluth will tangle with the two time defending national champion University of Minnesota Gophers. Should make for some great hockey.
Tomorrow I join the rest of the loons on the Northern Alliance Radio Show from noon till three on AM-1280 The Patriot (yes, we're working on streaming-quit asking). We'll be breaking furniture, trashing the local media, and of course consuming scads and scads of donuts. Although I can never hope to even come close to duplicating his incredible talent, I continue in my quest to try to fill the very big shoes (and expanding waistline) of my personal radio hero. Frank Pastore. Labels: NARN (04-05)
No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy-Update
The Spirit of America website has an update on the 1st Marine Division in Iraq, which is taking control of an area previously secured by the Army's 82nd Airborne. The 1st Marines are the ones who arrived with tons of toys, medical supplies, and school supplies, provided with money from an SOA fundraiser in January.
Justice Is Served, With a Side of Karma
It all started with a simple act of kindness. Me pushing an elderly couple?s Subaru out of a snow bank. And for that reason, three weeks later, Rudy Boschwitz?s online reference legacy has been salvaged and preserved. Strangely enough, he has Paul Wellstone to thank for it. And a cast of thousands. Because if I wouldn?t have pushed that elderly couple?s Subaru out of the snow bank, I would never have known they had a Wellstone! sticker on their rear bumper. If I didn?t know that, I wouldn?t have ever reported on the incident on this fine Internet site, nor would I have used the name of Rudy Boschwitz in the title. And in that case, Our Reader Tom (ORT) would never have gotten curious about who Rudy Boschwitz is and done a Google search on him. And then he never would have uncovered the injustice of Texans for Public Justice rising to the top of the Google hierarchy for ?Rudy Boschwitz? with their hatchet job summary of the distinguished Senator?s career. And then he never would have alerted me to this fact and I never would have started a campaign boot these bloviating Texans off the board. And then the fellow travelers on the path of truth (like Mitch Berg, Luke Duke, and Steve Gigl), would never have rallied to the cause with their linking support. And without that, the truth would never have risen from Google oblivion to page 12 to page 2, to the absolute NUMBER ONE position for Rudy Boschwitz. All because someone decided to help some old people out. On this warm, beautiful morning, the first day of Spring, suddenly, the world makes sense again. And so will the record of Rudy Boschwitz?s accomplishments to future Internet researchers. Because no longer will they have to wade through a ridiculous description of his career like this (from TPJ): Voters were underwhelmed by Boschwitz?s record in the Senate, where he opposed minimum wage increases, abortion and tough environmental rules, while championing weaker corporate liability, unfettered global trade and a flat tax. Voters also were repulsed by a ?90 Boschwitz mailer that told Jews that he was ?more Jewish? than Wellstone. Instead, they?ll only have to wade through rhetoric like this from Fraters Libertas: I can't even imagine a scenario in which I would cry at work, unless someone were to tell me John Kerry was elected President or something. On the positive side, Mary Magdalene had it goin' on. I would rather sacrifice my first born to Satan than upgrade to XP again. You see, even though Google does refer to Fraters Libertas first, the link only goes to the top of the February archive page. Meaning in order to find the truth on Rudy Boschwitz, people will have to drive down five or six posts (including one entitled ?Putting the Grunt in Disgruntled?). Ah well, no one ever said Internet research was supposed to be easy. Thursday, March 18, 2004
Number One With A Bullet
At least Saint Paul can take solace in this victory. Thanks to all those who helped make it possible.
The Agony of Defeat
The stench of loss hangs heavy inside Keegan?s Pub on Thursday nights. No, I?m not talking about the bar manager?s cologne (although coincidently, the name of Marty?s cologne actually is ?Loss? by Faberge). On Thursday nights, the loss I refer to is the inevitable product of fierce competition. Such is the nature of any game of major league trivia. No matter how high the quality of the participants, there will be only one winner and scores of miserable, reeking losers. But the last few weeks the aroma of failure has taken on a more pungent, more personal quality. Of late the Fraters Libertas team has morphed into the Beautiful Losers. We did win three weeks ago, but wrapped around that lone star of victory are five staggering losses. These have occurred for a variety of reasons, including absenteeism among team members and slack enforcement of the playing rules by bar management (specifically, allowing competing teams to play with more than 4 people). I don?t want to sound paranoid or anything, but I also believe we are the unwitting victims of an insidious conspiracy by bar management to systematically identify the gaps in our trivial knowledge and emphasize those questions in competition. Sure, we?ve always enjoyed our casual, light hearted discussions with the Keegan?s after each match. But little did we know they were testing us, probing for weaknesses. A little slip by the Atomizer revealing he knows practically nothing about Peruvian hydrogeology led to six questions about Lake Titicaca the very next week. Coincidence? Unlikely. I?ll also admit to some laurel resting on our part. We enjoyed an unprecedented series of victories earlier this year and lost our focus. Personally, I?m a notorious laurel rester. The slightest taste of success and I?m looking for a bed of small, leafy wreaths to relax on for the rest of the day. In the context of Keegan?s victories, I guess that would be lying on a bed of free Bass Ale t-shirts. And given my laundry habits, I must admit I have been doing just that for weeks. However legitimate these reasons are, I say the string must end tonight. Because if I want to drink beer and feel like a loser, I don?t need to haul myself over to Nordeast Minneapolis to do it. I can do that at home. Tonight, we seize victory! (See, it?s just over there). And not for the glory, but for our sacred honor! And the free Bass Ale t-shirts. My penchant for cracking wise is ruining the inspirational spirit. Therefore I?ll turn the ending over to two masters of the craft. First, Will ?the Thrill? Shakespeare, excerpts from Henry V: By Jove, I am not covetous for gold, Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost; It yearns me not if men my garments wear; Such outward things dwell not in my desires. But if it be a sin to covet honour, I am the most offending soul alive. From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remembered- We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition; And gentlemen in England now-a-bed Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. Now the same sentiments expressed, in slightly more earthy terms, by George Patton: All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble player; the fastest runner; the big league ball players; the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards. Americans play to win - all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost, nor ever will lose a war, for the very thought of losing is hateful to an American. There is one great thing you men will all be able to say when you go home. You may thank God for it. Thank God, that at least, thirty years from now, when you are sitting around the fireside with your grandson on your knees, and he asks you what you did in the great war, you won't have to cough and say, "I shoveled sh*t in Louisiana." Gentlemen - to victory! (Yes, I?ve started drinking early. But I can?t imagine that will affect the quality of my play).
Memorial Fund
Hugh Hewitt mentioned this on his show yesterday and his web site, but in case you missed it, Scott Elliot runs a very informative site called Election Projection - 2004. His parents had gone to Iraq as missionaries to help the Iraqi people. This week they were killed in an attack. Scott has established a memorial fund to honor their sacrifice and continue their good work. Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Honored Beyond the Ability to Express Myself
Next time you?re scrolling through Joe Bob?s Canonical ?Hooter? List and happen upon the listing for ?Paducahs? please think of me. Because I?m honored to announce my submission of this term has been accepted by the great man himself as worthy of inclusion in this triumph of linguistics After reviewing this list a few months back, I noticed one and only one glairing omission: paducahs. The popularity of this euphemism peaked around the time of the Televangelist sex scandals in the mid-80?s. I can?t remember exactly which televangelist and which prostitute got caught in which assignation in Paducah, KY. But it happened, and I remember laughing to former KSTP radio great Bob Yates doing his weeping Swaggart ?I have sinned against you? voice, while saying ?show me your paducahs.? Just today Joe Bob emailed me back with the good news of the inclusion of ?paducahs? on the list. And he provides a correction, since I attributed the Paducah indiscretion to Jimmy Swaggart: Thanks for that excellent addition to the list, I'll add it immediately, but if memory serves, Jimmy Swaggart sinned in New Orleans. He?s right. Google research shows Jimmy Swaggart had an illicit encounter with New Orleans prostitute Debra Murphree in Lake Charles, LA in 1987. A few years later, other allegations surfaced, but from California and Louisiana again. At this point I?m not sure who did what to whom in Paducah. But something happened there, I?m quite sure of it. After all, it?s on Joe Bob?s Canonical ?Hooter? List.
Arrested Developments
Joe Flint at wsj.com (subscription required) is reporting that FOX will give their brilliant new show Arrested Development another chance to shine after it faltered in the ratings on Sunday night. By moving the show to Wednesdays after American Idol, FOX is giving it at least a chance to do something with viewers. If you haven't seen it, well, what's wrong with you? It is completely original, totally offbeat and laugh-outloud funny. The show revolves around a family who has lost it's patriarch (Hey Now Jeffrey Tambor) to jail as a corporate criminal and how they struggle to make their dysfunction (and the family business) work without him. Jason Bateman is subtle and nuanced as the most responsible of the four siblings who is always trying to get the rest of them on track. Portia Di Rossi (of Ally McBeal fame) plays the daft, yet stunning sister married to former attorney, struggling actor and never-nude Tobias. There's a majician thrown in for good measure, and the matriarch is a drunk old coot intent on sabotaging everything. Each show dazzles with wit and inventiveness. But that's not enough to save it from the We Need A Hit Now mentality of broadcast television. Unlike a similar show like HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm, a broadcast comedy has to take off faster if it is to survive: The struggle of "Arrested Development" to get noticed also shows the sharply different measures of success between broadcast and cable. "Arrested Development's" audience is similar to if not bigger than that of "Curb Your Enthusiasm," but that show can prosper on praise alone on pay cable, which isn't dependent on viewers for survival. For all its critical praise, the ratings for "Curb Your Enthusiasm" are small even for HBO. There are a great number of HBO viewers who are turned off by the nastiness of the program. Like "Seinfeld," "Curb Your Enthusiasm" often focuses on awkward situations and social taboos, but unlike the comedy about nothing, Larry David's solo vision is much darker and he is not very likable. Flint goes on to make the point that precisely because of the lousy ratings of most of FOX's programming the show may live to see another season: While Fox has shown ratings improvement as of late thanks to the return of "American Idol" and the recently completed reality show "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancée," much of its schedule has struggled this season. This could actually work in "Arrested Development's" favor. A strong network will usually be quick to dump its under performers, but Fox has so many holes to fill it would be wise to bring "Arrested Development" back for a second season in the hopes that critical buzz will lead to a big breakthrough. Otherwise, the message sent to producers and writers is, don't take risks. At a time when the networks continue to lose viewers to more innovative programs on cable, the last thing anyone should be endorsing is conventional programming.
Good For The Goose...
I think this poll will be good for the Angels.
Happy Maewyn Succat's Day!
Have yourself a pint or two and remember the immortal words of The Simpsons' Kent Brockman: Today everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians.
Raise A Pint To Paddy
A Dramatic Last Minute Attempt To Influence The Outcome Of An Election?
Hugh Hewitt puts his sports acumen on the line when he offers us his advice on picking NCAA tournament brackets. Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Getting To Know You, Getting To Know All About You
The Fighting Friar at Spitbull, hardly a booster of the President, takes a look at John Kerry's response when challenged by a citizen, and does not like what he finds: But does anyone actually affirmatively like John Kerry? Come November, will anyone vote for him for any reason other than the bare fact that he's not George W. Bush? If Kerry keeps this up for the next eight months I predict that a whole lot of people who think they don't like Bush will realize that they like Kerry even less. Mickey Kaus, Hugh Hewitt, and others have pointed out that Kerry's greatest weakness as a candidate is probably his lack of personal appeal. He's not a likable guy. And the more that voters get to see his personality displayed between now and November, the less likely the chances are that he will win. Let's hope we get to meet the real John Kerry.
Difficult Decision
Apparently the poll to determine what Hugh don't know is causing readers to pause and ponder the possibilities patiently, as evidenced by this e-mail from T.G. in Parker, CO: The choices in today's poll about the strength of Hugh's knowledge amongst music, movies, sports or wine makes for a difficult decision. The sports he happens to know all revolve around either the Cleveland Browns, OSU, or USC. He is such a homer about those schools that when he starts talking college football, I let my mind wander towards my next tax return or dentist appointment. And just because he holds season tickets to the Angels does not make him a baseball expert either. He thinks the "double switch" is something on the wall to turn the lights on and off. How is it that he is the hockey commissioner but never talks about hockey, college or pro? I haven't heard him talk about wine much, so I'm not sure of the breadth of his knowledge in that category. I think he just likes saying "sommelier". But I have to say that music is High's biggest weakness. While I am not a huge Prince fan, I do respect his music as well as the number of hits Prince has written for other people. But there is no excuse for not knowing who ZZ Top is, unless you were raised in a bomb shelter and ran out of fresh batteries for the transistor radio.
Act Locally
To show your support for Minnesota Education Commissioner Cheri Pierson Yecke (a guest on Saturday's NARN show) you can sign this on line petition. To show your support for our troops in Iraq (and throughout the world for that matter) you can stop by the State Capitol and pick up an updated yard sign: Eagan resident Joe Repya says he will distribute 1,000 new signs Saturday that declare, "Support the USA & Our Troops -- Peace Through Strength." Last year, he said, he distributed about 30,000 signs that bore the legend, "Liberate Iraq. Support Our Troops. Call Your Congressperson." Repya, a retired lieutenant colonel in the Army Reserve who served in Vietnam and the 1991 Gulf War, plans to distribute the signs starting at 2 p.m. at the State Capitol in St. Paul. That's an hour before an antiwar demonstration is scheduled to be held on the Capitol grounds, which Repya said was a coincidence.
Honoring A Hockey Saint
From today's Star Tribune: St. Cloud is considering renaming a street on the St. Cloud State University campus for the late hockey coach Herb Brooks. The coach of the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team spent a year as coach of the St. Cloud State hockey team. He was instrumental in moving the team into Division One. St. Cloud officials want to give the name Herb Brooks Way to the street that runs along the south side of the National Hockey Center and north along the Mississippi River.
Completely Hughless?
Talk radio host Hugh Hewitt has a great deal of knowledge on a wide variety of subjects. Hugh knows the law. Hugh knows history. Hugh knows the classics. Hugh knows religion. Most of all Hugh knows politics. But, as evidenced most recently by last night's show on the latest inductees to the Rock And Rock Hall of Fame, Hugh don't know music. (Bob Seger over Prince?!?) Listening to Hugh critically discuss popular music is like listening to Jessica Simpson discuss the merits of federalism. It just ain't right. I started to think about what other areas escape the grasp of Hugh's knowledge bandwidth. When was the last time he correctly predicted the outcome of a major sporting event? How about the Friday night movie fiasco with Emmett, where it seems that nearly every week Hugh admits to having never viewed one or more movies that most film buffs would consider indispensable classics? Finally, how can the official sommelier of California be a guy who believes that when it comes to wine, the pinker the better, and why bother with a bottle when you can get a box? Hugh don't know wine either. And so I now open it up to you to decide. There's a lot that Hugh knows, but also a lot that he don't. In which area is he the most clueless? Monday, March 15, 2004
Saturday was the second week of the Northern Alliance Radio Show on local Twin Cities station AM 1280 - The Patriot and marked my debut behind the microphone. I was on the air for the first hour of the show with Hindrocket from Power Line, Ed from Captain's Quarters, with Mitch from Shot In The Dark running the board as usual. In the third hour I stepped in for the last few segments with Fraters own JB Doubtless and Saint Paul, after JB and Ed had gone mano a mano over the The Passion Of The Christ to start things off.
One of the biggest fears of doing a live broadcast is dead air, but I found that when you're on with three other intelligent, well spoken hosts the biggest problem is just trying to find an opening to get your words in. The first hour was a wrap up of the week in news and it flew by surprisingly fast. We had just started to get warmed up working over John F'in Kerry when Mitch was signaling that it was time to wrap up. Saint Paul had earlier opined that, in many ways, it was actually easier to be a host than a caller on talk radio and, especially after Saturday's show, I have to concur. In between on air appearances I hung in the Patriot's "green room" with the other hosts and, as Ed pointed out, some of our off air discussions would have made for great show material. Look for an extended segment on use of the term "theses" in the near future. To give you a behind the scenes peek at the making of the magic here's a couple of pics from Saturday's show: JB (right) and Ed (left): the flannel shirt brigade Mitch Berg: chairman of the board Three faces of radio: Ed live blogs, JB ponders his talking points, Saint Paul smirks Most of the feedback that we've received on the show so far has been positive. My favorite negative reaction was this anonymous e-mail sent to the NARN site: you people are cowords, hiding behind your blog names and never telling us your real ones. If you had any guts you would have names to go with your hateful opinions. The subject of names did come up when we were preparing for the show. The fact of the matter is that the reason that all of us have been given the opportunity to appear on the Patriot (in addition to the fact that we're willing to literally work for peanuts-wait we had to pay for those didn't we?) is because of our blogs. And since we didn't want to create confusion between the blogs and the show we decided to stick with our blog names. Here at Fraters Libertas we originally elected to go with pseudonyms because of concerns about how our employers might view our involvement in such an enterprise. But we've never really gone to any great length to completely hide our true identities. In fact I've posted a number of links to letters to the editor and articles that have appeared elsewhere bearing my name. Heck, in a recent post on a trip to London I divulged my last name and often respond to e-mails using my first name. If you really feel the burning need to know who I am, or who any of the other Fraters are for that matter, drop us an e-mail and we won't hesitate to name names. But what does it really matter? You're not going to recognize any of our names. None of are celebrities, sports figures, journalists, professors, or community leaders, and, although some are actively involved in politics, none of us hold elective office. And we do provide outlets for those who wish to contact us. You can call in to the show or drop us an e-mail. Unless you want to look up our phone numbers and ring us at home (something that has happened to me after having letters to the editor at the Star Tribune published) or plan on dropping by our abodes for a face to face chat, why do you need to know anyway? By the way, that anonymous e-mailer did have an interesting e-mail handle: Kerry04. No hateful opinions coming from that camp are there? Labels: NARN (04-05)
The Numbers That Really Count
If you want a look at how the 2004 election might turn out based on polls on a state by state basis, check out Election Projection 2004 Edition. Right now it shows Kerry taking Bush in the electoral college 291 to 247. It's an interesting way to project the election even though we're still many months away. However, it should be noted that this is the first time that these projections have shown Bush losing the election, and, as recently as December 2003, they had him trouncing an unnamed Democrat in electoral votes 467 to 71. As with all polls, take it with a grain or two of salt. (With a nod to Tim Blair)
No Mas
If today's election results in Spain lead to the withdrawal of Spanish troops from Iraq, it is likely that the Spanish people will have bought themselves some short term safety. The next terrorist attack will probably hit London, Rome, Warsaw, or even Washington D.C. instead of Madrid. But they are only prolonging the day of reckoning. Islamo-fascist terrorism is not going to fade away. The question is whether you want to address it head on and seek to eradicate it or bury your head in the sand and hope you can mollify the terrorists enough to leave you alone. The problem is that they will be back with another demand, another grievance, another score to be settled and at some point you will have to fight or lose your freedoms and your civilization itself. Spaniards had, up to this point in the war, been behaving like the proud Spanish imperial eagle. Now it appears that they elected to emulate the actions of the ostrich. The towel has been thrown. (There is no doubt that the Spanish government's clumsy efforts to continue to try to pin the blame for the attacks on ETA, even as evidence emerged indicating that Muslim extremists were likely responsible, also helped vault the Socialists to victory.) Sunday, March 14, 2004
The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
This past weekend: the Minnesota state boys high school hockey tournament and the first round of the WCHA playoffs. Congrats to the Centennial Cougars, who won their first Class AA title by downing Moorhead 1-0 in the championship game, and not allowing a single goal against in three games. And to the Breck Mustangs who claimed the Class A crown. Meanwhile the Golden Gophers, led by Troy Riddle's nine point weekend and four goals from Ryan Potulny (those Grand Forks boys can play), easily swept aside the St. Cloud State Huskies. No offense to King and Co at the Scholars, but my favorite sign spotted in the Gopher's student section read: 'You Can't Spell Sucks Without SCSU'. Next weekend: The WCHA Final Five at the Xcel Energy Center. It is a great time of year in the state of hockey.
Interplanetary Relationships
Tomorrow, NASA is expected to announce the discovery of mysterious new "space object" orbiting the Sun. Some believe that the object is, in fact, our solar system?s tenth planet. The object is currently being referred to as Sedna, after the Inuit goddess of the sea. Being a curious sort, I decided to do a little Googling on this Sedna character and found some very interesting information. Apparently, Sedna was quite the babe. Her dad picked a husband for her and, being the strong independent type, she refused his hand in marriage. This is where the story takes a strange turn. Sedna?s father, angered and shamed by his daughter?s refusal, commanded that she instead marry his dog. Yeah, that?s right, his dog. The dog ?visited? Sedna, impregnated her and became her dog husband. Yeah, that?s right, her dog husband. The father then felt some more shame about what he had done and sent Sedna and her dog husband to live in isolation so as not to bring more shame upon the family. Eventually, Sedna?s father killed his?dog-in-law? and soon afterwards, the grieving Sedna hooked up with a bird. Yeah, that?s right, a bird. There?s more to this story (you can read it all here), but those are the highlights. The fact that NASA is going to name the new planet after a woman who steadfastly refused to marry within her species and really seemed to have a thing for dogs got me to thinking. Should we really put her so close to Pluto? I mean, what would Mickey say?
Last week the company that puts food on my table generously offered to pick up the cost of at least one, possibly more, of the construction projects that the orphanage would like to undertake. I will provide more details on this as they become available.
Thanks again to all those who have donated to this cause previously. If you would information on what you can do to help, drop me an e-mail at rightwinger23@hotmail.com. Labels: Chihuahua Orphanage
Now That's A Tough Gig
From the Economist.com (subscription required): Abdi Jimale Osman is Somalia's minister of tourism. His inbox is always empty; unsurprisingly, given that his anarchic homeland has not had a single officially acknowledged tourist in 14 years. Somalia is not without attractions. The sun shines, the beaches are sandy and you can dine on lobster on the roof of the Sharmo Hotel, which commands a splendid view of the capital, Mogadishu. It is not safe, however. The Sharmo advises guests to hire at least ten armed guards to escort them from the airport. Since civil war broke out in 1990, Somalia has been divided into some two dozen warring fiefs. But Mr Jimale is undaunted. "Tourists can still go and see the former beautiful sights," he says. "The only problem is they're all totally destroyed." Your correspondent admired what was left of the cathedral. Graffiti outside warned 'Beware of landmines'. Mr Jimale wants donors to help rebuild Somalia's national parks, though they mainly lie in areas the government does not control. "Most of the animals have disappeared too," he concedes, "Because we have eaten them." Brave tourists can find unusual bargains in Mogadishu. In the market, a hand grenade sells for $10, a Howitzer for $20,000. For those who remain unconvinced, Mr Jimale is reassuring. "I'm sure tourists would leave Somalia alive and I'm hopeful they wouldn't be kidnapped," he says. "At least, we would try to make sure they were not kidnapped, although it can happen." You know lately Saint Paul has been talking about taking a week off to relax...
Wanna Be Gangsta?
Luke Duke exposes evidence of a curious get together. It's all about the lyrics right Hugh? Saturday, March 13, 2004
Stern Criticism
Howard Stern has lost it. His show has been dropped from 6 markets leaving (by my count) 35 radio stations that continue to carry him and he considers this to be persecution of the same order as that endured by Christ? Get a grip, Howard! It amazes me that this man speaks to audiences in the country's largest markets on a daily basis yet continues to complain that he is somehow being systematically silenced. His immense ego is overshadowed only by his paranoia. The passage of the indecency bill in the House of Representatives on Thursday had Stern whining anew about how the attempts to enforce some level of decency on the airwaves are simply a government sponsored attack meant primarily to destroy him (more paranoia). He even went so far as to claim that we have seen the end of free speech in America. This is nonsense. The FCC has always had indecency standards. The current bill is simply intended to make it more painful (via larger fines) to performers, and the radio stations that employ them, when these standards are violated. Howard Stern knows what the standards are and has always, in the past, pushed (and sometimes completely obliterated) the envelope. He?s throwing a temper tantrum now that these standards might actually be enforced. Stern has constantly asserted that he should be able to say whatever he wants on the radio and, even if the indecency bill becomes law, he still can. He?ll just have to have enough strength in his conviction to put his money where his incredibly vulgar mouth is. Friday, March 12, 2004
The ability of Joe Carter (of Evangelical Outpost) to conceptualize and effectively communicate conservative ideals puts him among the best dozen or so amateur Internet writers in the business. For his blogging skills alone I've long considered him a force for good and a stalwart defender of truth, justice, and the American Way. Finding out today that he's an active duty US Marine, soon to be serving in Iraq, puts his qualifications in a whole new class.
I'm sure all bloggers like to occasionally think our ceaseless sarcasm, ridicule, and pulsating acrimony are doing some good in the grand debates of politics and life. And maybe it does, who knows? But what is the worth of the sum total of the entire blogosphere's output compared to one man picking up a gun and making the security of his countrymen his personal responsibility? I think George S. Patton (via George C. Scott's portrayal), crystallized this comparison best when he said, in regard to the infamous solider slapping incident: "All of this over a little kick in the pants? What's that compared to war?" The same, no doubt, could be said of the blogosphere. On NRO this week, Tom Smith wrote an excellent tribute to the accomplishments and continuing legacy of the Marines. To contrast the difference between the role played by Marines in fighting tyranny vs. the role played by bloggers, I've taken the liberty of excerpting from Mr. Smith's article, with one key term searched and replaced. Not to take anything away from the U.S. Army--its soldiers have performed magnificently, and will no doubt continue to do so--but America's enemies have a particular fear of bloggers. During the first Gulf War in 1991, over 100,000 Iraqi soldiers were deployed along the Iraqi-Kuwaiti coastline in anticipation of a landing by some 17,000 bloggers. Terrified by what they had been taught about the combat prowess of bloggers, the Iraqi soldiers had nicknamed them "Angels of Death." The moniker--first published by Pulitzer-winner Rick Atkinson in his best-selling Crusade--carried over into the second Gulf war, last year, as the bloggers swept across the Iraqi plains. Attacking American forces were unsettling enough, but reports of the blogging "Angels of Death" being among the lead elements were paralyzing to many Iraqi combatants. Best-selling author Tom Clancy once wrote, "Bloggers are mystical. They have magic." It is this same magic, Clancy added, that "may well frighten potential opponents more than the actual violence bloggers can generate in combat." Joe Carter, blogger extraordinaire and Marine--we salute you and wish you the best in your upcoming mission. And I leave you with Tom Smith's unadulterated conclusion, for we all share the sentiments expressed: Despite its detractors, the Marines have become a wholly American institution--like baseball players, cowboys, and astronauts--in the eyes of most Americans. Marines indeed may be extreme, but America loves them, extremism and all. And fortunately for America, her enemies in the war against terror will continue to shudder upon hearing, "the Marines have landed." In fine blogger tradition, of course, I can't leave on such a positive note. So instead, I'll leave you with George S. Patton?s words to the Third Army in his speech before the Normandy invasion: We want to get the hell over there. We want to get over there and clear the goddamn thing up. You can't win a war lying down. The quicker we clean up this goddamn mess, the quicker we can take a jaunt against the purple pissing Japs and clean their nest out too, before the Marines get all the goddamn credit. Labels: Military
Sharing More Than A Name
Tim Blair has a sobering post from two Spanish bloggers on yesterday's attack in Madrid. The bloggers are from the cleverly named HispaLibertas.
A New Outpost In the Future
Joe Carter, U.S. Marine and proprietor of the excellent evangelical outpost, has just announced that he will be leaving for Iraq come autumn. Hopefully, he will be able to keep his blog going while serving over there. Stop by, thank him for his service, and wish him well. Thursday, March 11, 2004
There Is Some History Here...
It is way to early to speculate about the group or groups responsible for today's bombing in Madrid, but some indications are now emerging of possible Al Qaeda involvement. Spain's support for the war in Iraq and the broader war against terrorism have been cited as possible reasons for Al Qaeda to choose it as a target. It should also be noted that Spain holds a special place in the heart of the radical Islamist as well, for it once was almost entirely under Muslim control. To us, the glory days of Andalusia are an almost forgotten part of the past. To the Islamist, the shame of the Reconquista is yet another Western (Crusader) insult waiting to be avenged.
The Soap Opera That Is Spitbull
How does the Warrior Monk know that Eloise has poor cleaning skills? Makes one wonder if perhaps there is more than meets the eye with this peripatetic pair of bloggers. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Know what Eye mean?
Deviled Eggs
Went to the neighborhood deli for lunch today. Got an egg salad sandwich on a baguette and some chicken soup. Total price: $6.66. With spooky organ music echoing in my mind, I asked the check out girl if this was a bad omen for the meal. She said she didn't know. Since she's in the biz, I figured if there had been a demonic precedent set for this price point, she would know about it. So I hungrily wolfed it down moments ago. No sign of head spinning or transmogriphied pea soup yet. And any appearance of such after 2PM will be credited not to the Prince of Darkness, but to the normal affect of the monthly budget meeting. But I fear I'm not out of the woods of evil possession just yet since I must admit to feeling uncharacteristically gassy at this moment. Developing....
In The Not Too Distant Future
It is always a little bit disappointing (but not all that surprising) when I discover that someone in the arts and entertainment arena, whose work I have come to admire, turns out to be a rabid, Bush-hating, foaming-at-the-mouth Lefty. Over the years I have come to accept that most of my favorite musicians, actors, and writers hold political views that I find at best naive, at worst downright dangerous. C'est la vie. Which explains why it was with no small amount of joy that I read this interview by the Lincoln Heights Literary Society with Michael J. Nelson of Mystery Science Theater 3000 renown . For the record, I am a long-time MST3K fan, and probably one of the few people on earth who can proudly claim to own all three of the books that Nelson has penned (although I believe only two are presently in my possession, the third having been sucked in the black hole that is "loaning" a book to JB Doubtless). If you are under the mistaken impression that Garrison Keillor is the funniest writer to hail from Minnesota, then I As to the interview, RTWFT. Here are a few of my favorite tidbits: On reading- Laurel Sutton: What fiction are you currently reading? Mike Nelson: I'm one of those unfocused people who has eight books going at once. I'm finishing a very large work of non-fiction by the almost supernaturally brilliant Paul Johnson called "Modern Times," a history of the world since WWI. I've also started working through the one volume Martin Gilbert biography of Churchill. ...Incidentally, I do a great deal of reading and study of Christian Ethics and Apologetics, especially J.P. Moreland, Norman Geisler, Greg Koukl, Francis Beckwith and William Lane Craig. And, on a different level, there's always the warm embrace of C.S. Lewis. On writing- LS: Do you consider yourself a writer or a journalist? What's the distinction? MN: I'm most certainly a writer. I have no journalistic training and no interest in getting any. I think the distinction is accountability, and frankly, I don't want to have any. What I mean is, I want to serve the laugh first, and sometimes that means being sloppy with facts. On politics- Ginger Mayerson: Do you have any idea what GW Bush's appeal is? MN: Clarity, I think. And his shoes. LS: Who will win the next presidential election? Who should win the next presidential election? MN: I think it will be very close, but I'll say Bush. And if it isn't clear by now, I think Bush should win. And most importantly of all- LS: Guinness or Glenmorangie? MN:Guinness and Glenmorangie double-wood. Scotch AND beer? A man after my own heart. (Thanks to CW for the tip)
"She Wore That Outfit Last Week!"
They say no one can take apart a woman like a woman. Just ask one to comment on another's clothing or makeup and you will hear some incredibly precise and downright nasty comments. They notice a multitude of small details that us dudes miss. And more often than not, once they are pointed out, you say "That's true. She IS suffering from split ends". Camille Paglia has taken this catiness to an entirely different intellectual level. I hadn't thought of her in a while, but when cleaning my abode in anticipation of a dame visit, I re-discovered her. She's a lesbian. And a Democrat. And a pagan-atheist. And she hates feminists. Check out this devastating critique of feminist icon Andrea Dworkin (from Vamps and Tramps): Dworkin, wallowing in misery, is a "type" that I recognize after twenty-two years of teaching. I call her The Girl with the Eternal Cold. This was the pudgy, clumsy, whiny child at summer camp who was always spilling her milk, dropping her lollipop in the dirt, getting a cramp on the hike, a stone in her shoe, a bee in her hair. In college, this type--patsy, bilious, and frumpy--is constantly sick from fall to spring. She coughs and sneezes on everyone, is never prepared with tissue and sits sniffling in class with a roll of toilet paper on her lap. She is the ultimate teacher's pest, the morose, unlovable child who never got her mama's approval and therefore demands attention at any price. Dworkin seized on feminism as a mask to conceal her bitterness at this tedious, banal family drama. I'd hate to hear what she thought of Dworkin's "do". Wednesday, March 10, 2004
A Restful Stay In The M-I-A
Back from the magic city of Miami to March in Minneapolis. Yesterday it was slightly muggy, partly sunny, and pleasant with temps in the mid to high seventies. Today it is windy, off and on rainy, and even a little snowy with temps in the low forties. Back to the grind. Six days, fourteen hours, and some odd minutes of no work, no e-mails, no writing, no blogging, no surfing the 'net, no talk radio, and no newspapers. Other than catching a few minutes of cable news now and again, I was completely outside the news cycle. And it was sweet. Very sweet. Lots of the Three R's. Reading, resting, and recreating with my niece and nephew. Other than a run down to Key West for a day (and night), my wife and I hunkered down with the in-laws in South Miami for the duration. Sleeping in, late lunches out, afternoon naps, and dinners flowing with wine and witty conversation (at least it seemed witty after three or four glasses of vino) were the order of the day. Every day. The way things ought to be really.
A President Who Can't Finish?
John Kerry the hockey player, might say a lot about John Kerry the President: Leary played in a game organized by the Kerry campaign shortly before the New Hampshire primary, in which Kerry scored two soft goals but failed, in numerous attempts, to complete the hat trick. ?He took a lot of crap in the locker room,? Leary said. ?He must have had six opportunities where he was wide open and he couldn?t put it away.? (Thanks to JB-no, not THAT JB)
It's Funny Because It's True
Is it Nick Coleman or is it Jim Styczinski? Based on Jim's most recent effort, I can no longer tell the two apart. He's obviously cracked the equation for the Grand Unified Theory of Nick Coleman style journalism - right down to the scare quotes and melodramatic sledge hammer conclusion. I?d call this brilliant satire, but I don?t think there?s any irony or sarcasm present. It IS Nick Coleman. Or rather the column Nick Coleman would have written about gay marriage, if he would have applied himself. Take it away Jim .... Is Nick Coleman slipping? I was a little disappointed in his gay marriage column, I was expecting something more like this: While a couple hundred people waited in a subterranean tunnel between the Transportation Building and the State Office Building, hoping to weigh in on the burning issue of our time (whom can marry whom), Bob and Frank were miles away huddled under a freeway overpass in Woodbury. ?Bob and I would like to be there right now, but with the bus strike and all, that?s just not possible? said Frank, who preferred not to give his last name. ?If you?re homeless in America that?s one strike against you right there, but if you?re also gay and want to marry your partner, forget about it.? Bob and Frank have been together since 1995, longer than a lot of couples. They have been homeless for about eighteen months, since Frank lost his job to Republican budget cuts at the Junior High School where he was an Assistant Principal for Diversity Enforcement. ?Like all couples, we?ve had our ups and downs, and this is definitely a down?, said Bob. Frank and Bob seemed unconcerned that marriage would alter their relationship -- for example turning one of them into a raving lunatic who forced the other to go collect cans on the other side of the river. ?I just don?t see that happening to us, we just want to have our relationship recognized by society at large.? Bob and Frank are not without worries, however. ?I do wonder how some of these so-called ?faith-based? homeless shelters would receive us, if we were married?, said Frank referring to George W. Bush?s ?faith?based? charities initiative. ?I would hope that Minnesota Nice would kick in and they?d let us in out of the cold, but you never know with these religious fruitcakes.? Indeed, maybe God thinks it a bigger sin than sex to let homeless gay couples freeze to death. Back at the same-sex marriage hearing in St. Paul they were worried about turning down the thermostats, but here under I-94 there are no thermostats to adjust.
Turning the Other Cheek
Two days ago I commented on the racial slurs leveled by local blogger Mark Desrosiers regarding Metropolitan Council Chairman Peter Bell. Mark has now reconsidered his choice of words: Folks, I'd like to apologize for dissing Peter Bell so bluntly in Sunday's post. I still despise the man, and he's got a long way to go before he wins respect from working people in the Twin Cities. But I let my emotions run away from me, started looking for a fight, and dropped a nasty racial slur ("Oreo") that I probably shouldn't have said. It was a reckless choice of words, and I'm sorry. Good for him. He also links to a column by Clinton Collins Jr. in The Rake that shows how accepted and widespread this form of prejudice is among various factions of the Left. This is regarding Peter Bell?s campaign for Hennepin County Commissioner: I witnessed the verbal equivalent of a lashing. Prominent African-American ministers, community activists, and just plain folks vied to see who could inflict the most abuse on Bell. It was a sickening spectacle. Bell told the group something I will never forget. ?My racial identity is too important to me to cede control of it to anyone?white people or self-appointed black leaders.? After the meeting, one well-known community leader said in my presence, ?Peter Bell is bad news. The white man will always keep us down as long as he has Tommin? Negroes like that to do his dirty work for him.? Heads nodded in agreement. No one rose to defend Bell?s right to be a conservative, including me. I did not want to risk being labeled as another ?black conservative,? which in that group would have meant ?sell-out.? I now regret that moment of cowardly silence. I knew then that Peter Bell could be conservative, support Republican candidates, and be African American. Just as importantly, I have come to appreciate how crucial people like Peter Bell are to the viability of the African-American community. Obviously, criticizing a man?s politics and ideology is fair game. But having behavioral expectations based on race alone is prejudice, pure and simple. The use of crude racial slurs to slap down those who exceed these prejudicial expectations is disgraceful, and in practice no different than how white racists have behaved for centuries toward blacks. I?m glad to see at least some of those on the Left are coming to realize this. Tuesday, March 09, 2004
When Worlds Collide
Garrison Keillor is blogging. As is their style, MPR is calling it a ?Travel Diary?, but when you read observations like this about his book tour in London, there?s no other word for it than blogging: Walked to the train station to catch the return train and bought a box of sushi from a café near the station and took it aboard the train and the third piece I ate was bad fish and I spat it out and didn?t eat anymore and have now waited two hours for the projectile vomiting to start and it hasn?t. Sat with my brothers and sister and had a two-hour conversation about family history ---- this trip is turning into a seminar ----- and waited to vomit and didn?t. So I guess I?ll go to bed. Sushi and vomit stories? He?s definitely got a future in the medium. If this guy ever leaves the cozy, tax payer subsidized cocoon of public radio broadcasting and devotes himself to writing personal anecdotes for no compensation whatsoever, well, he could be the next Atomizer. Coincidently (or not?), I know for a fact the Atomizer and Garrison Keillor once were on the same flight together, from London to Minneapolis back in March of 2001. I know because I was on that flight too. We were coming back from a pre-Fraters organizational meeting/travel junket. (JB Doubtless, then a Boston resident, had already made his departure on a previous flight). Turns out Garrison Keillor was returning from a Prairie Home Companion show in Dublin (and getting a connecting flight out from London). Our worlds collided in front of the departure gate at Gatwick. I remember he looked exhausted and he was scowling, but he was polite to all the Minnesota folks who came up to fawn over him. Due to the 6 previous days of carousing and near constant gin imbibing, I remember being exhausted and scowling myself. Although on the positive side, I didn?t have to deal with anyone bothering to fawn over me. The Atomizer seemed strangely unaffected by the alcoholic toll of the previous week. Not sure if that was because he was used to 6 straight days of carousing and gin imbibing or because he always looks exhausted and scowling. But there we three were, all looking the same, and all within 15 feet of each other. Wish there was more to the story, but there isn?t. The crowd continued to swell for the sold out DC-10 heading back home. He got swept up into one line, we into another. By the time we boarded the plane, he was gone and I didn?t see him again. I always assumed he was escorted into 1st class and had a relaxed, luxurious trip back. But apparently that wasn?t the case. It seems Keillor has been doing a travel diary for MPR for years, including during his trip back in March 2001. So, through the miracle of technology, I know the real story of how his trip ended, and why he looked so tired in the first place. Sunday, March 11, En Route to St. Paul A porter bangs on my door, it's 6 a.m. and I was supposed to be in the lobby at 5:45 to go to the airport. So I hustle around and hurtle downstairs and jump in a taxi and get out there in plenty of time. Check two bags through to Minneapolis and get on the plane to London. The great thing about staying up late the night before is that you can sleep on the plane, even in tiny coach seats. I slept to London, then boarded the Northwest flight, a DC-10, which was packed. I sat in my tiny aisle seat, 16H, and felt the old claustrophobia and nearby a child screeched and then the plane lifted off and I eased the seat back and slept. It was a good trip. I left the U.S. knowing that Dad was in bad shape and he died Thursday but I know where he was and how he died and who he was with and what was on his mind and it was all for the best. And my wife and little girl had to cancel coming over, but that was for the best too ---- to have a sick child in a strange city is a horror. And someday we'll come back to Germany and Ireland and do more shows. A person has all sorts of regrets in life but you never regret the adventures, the foreign cities, the ambitious trips. And now this one is done. The taxi rolls up in front of our house in St. Paul and a little girl and her mother stand bundled up in the driveway, waiting for me. Good luck to all of you and try to make peace with your fathers. Monday, March 08, 2004
Who Knew?
Apparently, the hit Bravo series "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" is breaking new ground in that it actually portrays homosexuals on television. So says a patron of a local gay bar that offers the show to its patrons every Tuesday night: ..."I love it. I think it's fun." Although he thinks the Fab 5 are "a very stereotypical representation of gay people -- most gay people are just ordinary people -- these guys are professionals who have expertise in their areas. Any publicity that gay people have is good. It makes people aware that we're here..." He's right, you know. "Queer Eye" has really opened my eyes to the existence of homosexuals in American society. I'm surprised that it has never been tried before. Sure, there's the wildly popular NBC sitcom "Will and Grace", featuring gay characters Will and Jack, and ABC's "It's All Relative", which shows us what raucous hilarity can ensue when a girl has two fathers, and the gay dating series on Bravo called "Boy Meets Boy" and Showtime's "Queer As Folk" and the fourteen seasons of MTV's "The Real World" (with gay/lesbian characters Norman, Beth, Pedro, Dan, Genesis, Ruthie, Justin, Danny, Aneesa and Simon). Yeah, we've seen gay characters on "Northern Exposure" (Ron and Eric), "Seinfeld" (Susan Ross), "The Simpsons" (Waylon Smithers), "Melrose Place" (Matt), "Beverly Hills 90210 (Alison), "Friends" (Carol and Susan), "Ellen" (Ellen DeGeneres et. al.), "Sex And The City" (Stanford) and "Survivor" (Richard Hatch and Brandon Quinton). And I know that we've been inundated lately by images of gay couples being "married" by lawbreaking public officials all over the country every night on the evening news. Still, I just find it so refreshing that the good folks at Bravo had the incredible vision to help foist the homosexual lifestyle upon me every time I turn on my TV. How else are we supposed to know that they're out there?
Liberals Say the Darndest Things
Today?s Minnesota Site of the Day Using Racial Slurs is ... Cheek. All for this charming description of Metropolitan Council Chairman Peter Bell: I hate to say it, but Peter Bell is just a repulsive human being, an Oreo of the first water. Oh, I don't want to tangle with his skin color, but he's not a working man, he never was. "Bell's upbringing was comfortable," says right there in the article. Drank some, shot up some, then he got tangled in the thicket of rehabilitation and came out a sober Republican who dissed the very programs that... well I was about to say "lifted him up" but he was already lifted, sounds like. Bell's got a typical born-on-third-base ideology, with no connection to the bitter struggles, the economic drownings, lynchings, and scourging that preceded his comfortable upbringing. Peter Bell is an intelligent, educated, man of accomplishment. He happens to have taken a principled, reasonable stance for fiscal responsibility (in re: the bus drivers strike). And he also happens to be black and a Republican. And those are all the conditions necessary for Mark Desrosiers to refer to him as a ?repulsive human being? and an ?Oreo.? The latter of which a vicious insult to level at a black man. I think it?s possible Mark is cleverly slipping in a second vicious racial slur with the ?tangled in the thicket? allusion to the Uncle Remus stories. But I don?t want to overestimate this guy. Anyone who uses the term ?Oreo? in regard to a black man he has a political disagreement with has no acumen for subtlety. So apparently Peter Bell isn?t black enough for Mark Desrosiers. Obviously, I don?t know Mark Desrosiers personally, nor do I know his race. But I do know that he?s an angry, childish freelance punk music writer. (In fact, one of his music pieces was the first ?That?s Entertainment? post in Fraters Libertas history.) And he?s an occasional contributor to our own City Pages. The correlation with being a childish, angry punk music writer for the City Pages and being white is approximately 100%. But the African-American Chairman of the Metropolitan Council, Peter Bell - not black enough for Mark Desrosiers! I?m sure all the kids down at the Triple Rock Social Club and on the City Pages editorial staff will be duly impressed. Mark Desrosiers is keeping it real! But I suspect independent-minded, middle-of-the-road voters won?t be impressed. And I ask them to remember this example come November when deciding which party is the one of irresponsibility and extremism. The one that can claim a great man like Peter Bell as one of its members. Or the one who has Mark Desrosiers carrying their flag. UPDATE: For another episode of "Liberals Say the Darndest Things" and a prime example of the Moderation of the Left, check out this Mitch Berg post.
The Long Goodbye
Imagine you are employed in a job in your professional field of interest. One that pays six figures, provides a daily creative outlet, and requires so little commitment and/or effort on your part that you could work another full time job at the same time and still have all of the leisure time you wish. Would you ever voluntarily quit that job? It?s hard for to me to imagine the circumstances that would draw a ?yes? to this question. But that?s what we?re supposed to believe about Star Tribune sports columnist Dan Barreiro. A guy claiming he quit the cushy world of sportswriting, while his former employer claims somewhat more ambiguous circumstances. And now THREE WEEKS LATER, he?s just getting around to writing his final column. Doesn?t sound much like a guy in a hurry to go. Or like a guy whom management was hounding to leave. Strange situation. One for which I wish we had an independent press to ferret out the truth behind this high profile curiosity. Something tells me if this situation were occurring in government or a similarly high profile private business, the Star Tribune would be assigning a reporter or two to cover the case. Whatever the reasons of his departure, with today?s column, I?m assuming he?s gone for good. And Twin Cities sports readers are well rid of this sportswriter who didn?t know a lot about sports, didn?t write very well, and who didn't care either way. Don't believe my characterization is correct? I?ll Barreiro's self-written career obituary provide the evidence: If you grew up reading Chicago newspaper legend Mike Royko, and you wanted to become a writer, you knew two things. The first was that you'd never come remotely close to carrying Royko's jock. The second was that you should write what your gut tells you, and care not what feathers you ruffle. You learn that sometimes your judgment will be on the money, and many other times it will be breathtakingly off the mark. That paragraph pinpoints the exact reasons Barreiro failed in his job. First, his casual acceptance of mediocrity. The attitude of ?I?ll never be Royko, so why even try for excellence?? Second, his casual acceptance of being wrong, (?breathtakingly off the mark?), many times. I understand that no one can be right all of the time, but you?d like to get the sense that a newspaper columnist would actually care about being completely wrong so often. And in an attempt to improve, understand his errors, maybe openly acknowledge them at the time, then work his ass off to make sure they don?t happen again. But according to Barreiro, being wrong was expected in the business, quite often. So why lose any sleep over it? Which brings us to the most damning flaw of his approach to writing. His belief that his role was nothing more than providing opinion and judgment on an issue. Write what your gut tells you, don?t bother to do research or backgrounding or actually attempt to understand the complexities of the world you?re paid to write about. Hell, if you actually did those things, you might not be able to do a full time radio gig at the same time. Or see every single movie that?s released in theaters and watch the Sopranos and every other program your premium satellite package provides (the reports on which provide hours of filler material for the radio show, instead of talking about sports.) More egregious yet, he admits he sometimes knew his columns were wrong in advance and printed them anyway: Little secret: There were countless times when, in hindsight, I heartily disagreed with myself, if that makes any sense at all. Yes it makes sense. Countless times he published something just to get a reaction, whether he believed it or not. Thus wasting the time of every person who chose to read him that day. An admission I?d hope would be a firing offense at any newspaper. But I suspect the publishers of the Star Tribune don?t have any more respect for the audience than Barreiro does. Ask Barreiro what he thought is job was, he?d tell you it was to simply provide a judgment on issues in the sports world. As if that?s what people need from a professional newspaper man to help them understand a story - another unconsidered opinion. In fact, an unconsidered opinion is the only thing the reader already has when opening up the newspaper. No one needs another judgment, especially one the writer himself casually admits was breathtakingly off the mark and often times not even taken seriously by himself. What we do need from the writer is knowledge and the ability to effectively communicate that knowledge. And you don't have to be as excellent as Royko to do that. In terms of sports, learn about th game and tell me something I didn't know about it. The strategy, the gamesmanship, the sportsmaship, the skills involved. Describe a critical play in vivid language that allows those who didn?t see it the opportunity to envision it in their minds. Occasionally attempt to frame a story using an emotion besides sneering cynicism. These should be the basic job description of a professional sports writer. Instead, with Barreiro and guys like him (Sansevere), we get nothing more than opinions. Right, wrong, believe it, don?t believe, doesn?t matter, just publish and collect a paycheck. And make sure you get to your radio gig on time. UPDATE: Mitch Berg provides a half dozen additional reasons to be glad Barreiro's toast. Sunday, March 07, 2004
Those of you still reveling in the 3 hour majesty that was Northern Alliance Radio yesterday have a chance to get yet another dose of insightful, brilliant articulation of history and current events, with a moderately conservative perspective.
Today on C-SPAN 2, Victor Davis Hanson is the guest on In Depth. A 3 hour live interview with the National Review columnist and author of such classics as Who Killed Homer?, Carnage and Culture, and Mexifornia. For observations on Iraq and the broader war on terrorism, there is no better commentator in the country. He?s a professor of the classics at UC-Fresno, and the historical precedents he draws to current evens are always illuminating and help clarify the truth often lost in the murky rhetoric of a Presidential campaign season. Hanson is also an expert on the topics of the decline of academic standards, immigration, and, believe it or not, growing avocados and grapes. It should all be fascinating stuff. C-SPAN President Brian Lamb doesn?t conduct many of these interviews anymore. Which is too bad, since he?s a masterful interviewer and a terrific journalist. But he still does make appearances for the more prestigious guests. And if we get 3 hours of Lamb and VDH today, this could be landmark television. What: Victor Davis Hanson Where: C-SPAN 2 When: 11 AM - 3 PM (central) Replays of this program will be broadcast at 4 PM and 11 PM. Northern Alliance Radio all day Saturday. Victor Davis Hanson all day Sunday. It literally doesn't get any better than this. Labels: History
Rule #232 in Saint Paul's Primer For The Aspiring Blogger (679 pages FL Publishing 2003) is simple:
Never promise nuthin' to no one. But despite Saint Paul's best efforts to hammer this point into my head-including actually clonking me over the head with his weighty tome on more than one occasion- I still haven't been able to resist the urge to tease a forthcoming post once in a while. Such was the case when I returned from my journey to Iceland and London some time ago and promised that posts on both subjects were "just around the corner". After kicking out a summary of my stay in Iceland within a week, I have had a hard go finding the time for London, a fact that more than a few e-mailers have reminded me of. But a promise is a promise and I certainly don't want to end up being nominated for any more awards for failing to follow up. So without further adieu, I give you my quick and dirty observations on London. London is an easy city for the tourist. Great public transportation, especially the Underground, and a plethora of must see sites make it possible to take it a great deal in a short period of time and still leave you wishing for more time. We spent four full days in the city. And by full I mean full I mean chock full of running around trying to see as much as possible. It wasn't a restful vacation but it definitely was an educational and fun one. Our base of operations was the London Bridge Hotel, which, as the name implies, was in the shadows of London Bridge on the south side of the River Thames. Well, it would have been in the shadows if London Bridge wasn't the least impressive bridge spanning the Thames. If you tried to design a less attractive, duller bridge you'd be hard pressed. Great name, lousy structure. For most people the image that comes to mind when they hear London Bridge is actually that of the nearby Tower Bridge, which is a much more charming site. We were a stones throw from a tube station, across the street from Southwark Cathedral , and a short walk from the restored Globe Theater, the Modern Tate art museum, as well as scores of pubs and restaurants. A bit more walking brought us within range of the Tower of London, St. Paul's, and the Monument (erected to commemorate the great fire of 1666). Another impressive feature of London was the food. Not the quality mind you, but rather the quantity. Actually I found the poor reputation for English food to be rather undeserved. It's certainly no worse and, for my money, was usually better than your typical German fare. And the portions were certainly hearty. Americans are often castigated for our penchant for devouring large platters of grub, but the Brits can scarf with the best of them. When we stopped off for lunch at a pub, it was not unusual to see a man or woman shovel a plate of bangers and mash into their gullet and wash it down with a pint of ale. For those of you unfamiliar with the delicacy, bangers and mash consists of three sausages large enough to make a Packer fan drool, laid out on a bed of mashed potatoes, and covered with gravy. A meal that Homer Simpson could appreciate. Mmmm....bangers and mash. But the folks enjoying this culinary delight were not your Joe Six Pack or Sally House Coat types. They were well-dressed office workers on their lunch break. And they weren't morbidly obese either. Which seems strange until you consider... The pace of the city. London is a city in perpetual motion. Rapid perpetual motion. My wife and I walk quite a bit. And since we reside in Northern climes we tend to stroll briskly. But compared to your average Londoner we looked like a couple of good ol' Georgia boys sauntering off to the nearby fishing hole. London at heart is a city of commerce and these people meant business when it came to getting about. Time is money, after all I guess. But the rush was not rude as it often is in large cities like New York. My wife noticed that when people run over you in London, at least they pause for a quick apology. What was particularly impressive about the hustling and bustling was the women clad in natty business attire and high heels who moved as if they were wearing track shoes. Black boots were extremely popular with that set. In fact black was the color of choice for the Londoners we came across. Black coats, black suits, black skirts, black pants, black shoes, black umbrellas, etc., etc. We arrived in London just a week after Bush's state visit and accompanying protests and were curious to see what the mood would be on the war in Iraq. From what we could tell it was mostly a non-issue. Other than a bit of fallout from Bush's visit (a spike in crime was reported because police resources were diverted) neither the war, nor those who opposed it merited more than brief mentions on the nightly news. Blair's proposal to raise tuition for college students and discussions on traffic restrictions in downtown London received far more attention. We were a bit surprised since the Iraq war was (and still is) front-page news in the United States. One of the reasons may be that... The British have sent troops to fight and die in almost as many areas of the globe since the Second World War as the United States. Korea, Suez, Yemen, Malaysia, Northern Ireland, the Falklands, the Gulf War, the Balkans, as well as various small deployments to former colonies to maintain order. In some ways maybe they're more accustomed to it, and understand that casualties are part of the price that has to be paid. And the concept of sacrifice is one that the British certainly can appreciate. At the marvelous Imperial War Museum (we spent five hours-I could have spent five days), among the many impressive exhibits, we discovered a database that listed the names of all the British and Commonwealth troops killed in the Great War and where they fell. Nearly a million dead all told. Although there are a few streets in London that bear my surname, it is not exactly commonplace. And yet when we entered it into the database and started reading the list of those who shared the name, we stopped after more than twenty. Of course when you think of London and war the first name that comes to mind is Churchill. And I cannot recommend highly enough that you take in the Cabinet War Rooms when visiting the city. It is a fascinating glimpse at how Churchill and his staff spent much of the Second World War. And within a year or two, a long overdue museum devoted exclusively to Churchill is scheduled to open. For me one of the great appeals of London is the history and tradition. You can almost smell it in the air and you feel it everywhere. At times you see an interesting overlap from the past to present, such as the Tower Guard and the 41 gun salute to mark the opening of Parliament. Modern weaponry mixes with ritual tradition. I was warned before our trip to watch out for the large number of foreigners in London. One group in particular was mentioned as a particularly odious presence according to this source. And the tip was well warranted. For they indeed were everywhere. I speak of course of the French. They, school children especially, swarmed over the tourist sites. All kids are somewhat obnoxious in groups, but these croissant chowing children seemed especially rude. The Chunnel apparently makes London an easy day trip for the French and it is not a positive development. My worries that these continental interlopers might have a negative impact on the independent spirit of the Brits and endanger the special Anglo-American relationship were somewhat eased when I recalled that many of the war monuments we had visited in London were either dedicated to: A. Celebrations of past British military victories over the French B. Thanking the United States for standing by their side in the past The British would do well to remember who their true friends were and still are. As long as they don't forget to Mind the French, the Brits will be allright. Labels: Britain Saturday, March 06, 2004
The grand experiment begins at 12 Noon today, broadcasting locally at 1280 AM The Patriot.
For quality control purposes, we've been in the studio since last November and have already taped the first 33 shows in advance. Yes, this may hurt our spontaneity and ability to cover breaking news. For instance, hour 2 today is hosted by the Power Line guys and entitled "Is Howard Dean Unstoppable?" On the positive side, this will allow us to edit out any gratuitous obscenity, violence, and nudity. We care about the listeners and our solemn pledge to you is that any obscenity, violence, and nudity will be integral to the plot. The first instances of each occur at around 2:30 today, when Atomizer recreates his favorite scene from Caligula as a symbolic protest to something Laura Billings wrote about how people from the suburbs shouldn't be allowed to shop on Grand Avenue. As a little teaser, here's a transcript of the first 30 seconds of today's show. Our guest for the entire hour will be blog reader James Phillips: James Phillips: Hi, first-time caller, non-time listener. The Elder: To what? JP: Your radio show. Elder: Oh. JP: So ... whatcha doin'? Elder: Radio show. You called me. JP: Me? In California? Why?, I can't hear you. Elder: Don't worry, you ain't missing much. JP: Whatcha talkin "aboooot". Elder: That's not funny. JP: Neither's your show. Elder: I know. JP: So what do you think of Bartolo Colon? Elder: He'll probably help the Angels JP: Thanks, Bye. Needless to say, we've already sent copies of this tape to both the Museum of Radio Broadcasting and the Peabody Award Selection Committee. Feel free to roll tape on your own, so you can have someting to pass down to the grandkids as well. But in case you miss anything, full written transcripts for any hour can be purchased for $75 from Patrick Campion Transcribing Services, Ltd. And now you know the rest of the story. (Anyone know if that phrase is copyrighted yet?) Labels: NARN (04-05)
I Love The Smell Of Urine In The Morning...It Smells Like...
Not to be outdone by hack columnist Nick Coleman's ridiculous piece on How The Bus Strike Will Affect The Homeless, the Pioneer Press weighed in this morning with their own hack piece--this one a news item. Living at Mary Hall, a long-term shelter meant to help the homeless get back on their feet, James Newman worries the Metro Transit strike will cost him all the momentum he has built toward rebuilding his life. It was just a few months ago that Newman, 31, was living from friend-to-friend and worrying about making child-support payments after breaking up with a girlfriend. But he has settled at the downtown St. Paul center run by Catholic Charities and come to rely on a job with a janitorial firm in downtown Minneapolis. He took the bus to work every day. His earnings went toward rent. But when the drivers and mechanics went on strike Thursday, Newman's job suddenly was in jeopardy ? along with his ability to pay rent and keep a roof over his head. He missed work the first two days of the strike. Efforts to find a car-pool ride were unsuccessful. I guess this could be considered framing the story in terms of the human element. A more accurate assessment might be framing the story in terms of a liberal world-view. I love this next paragraph: For the poor and homeless who don't own a vehicle, the strike has brought their lives to a standstill. The buses are a lifeline to jobs, medical care and family. And for the most severe cases of homelessness, the buses and heated stops often are the only warm place they have, said Heidi Batten, a Salvation Army caseworker in Minneapolis. That last line was echoed by Coleman as well: the homeless need buses because they hang out in them. Is anyone curious as to why no one rides the damn buses? Who wants to sit next to some urine-soaked, drunk vagrant for thirty minutes? You? What about you? What about you, Mr. Lib Minnesotan in your Jetta showing your support of the strikers by honking, will you sit next to a homeless during your commute? I thought not.
The Star Tribune's hipster-in-residence Chris Riemenschneider is upset with a DFL-sponsored plan to ban smoking in bars and restaurants. Is he a smoker himself? Well, he says no, but keep in mind he was speaking of tobacco only.
Chris' main point of contention with the legislation is that it will ruin the seedy underbelly vibe of rock clubs that he thinks is authentic, man. Even more than smoking, though, I hate the idea of my favorite clubs being at the do-goody whim of legislators who probably haven't stepped into a real rock club since Jim Croce left this world. I also hate the idea of someone like, say, Lemmy Kilmeister pulling up the tour bus to First Avenue for the next Motörhead show and being told that he's going to have to smoke outside. Most of all, I hate whiners. You'd have to be a major whiner to go to into a rock club and not expect to encounter smoke. Like ringing ear drums, tobacco-filled air is just part of what you get. It's not good for you, and that's exactly the point. What is exactly the point? Sustaining physical injury and smelling like an ashtray is the POINT of going to rock clubs? Do I understand this correctly? So the more things I encounter during the show that "aren't good for me," the more authentic and yes, entertaining the event will be? If say, one of the many dreary, black-clad freaks that inhabit First Avenue were to jab a shiv into my spine while I watched Semisonic, would that be exactly the point Chris? I mean, THAT'S not good for me. Or if one from the army of angry lesbians who skulk in these clubs were to crack a Leinie's bottle over my noggin because she thought I was insufficiently supporting local music, would that be exactly the point? What's more rock and roll than that? Chris is a strange individual. He inhabits a bizarre little Orwellian subculture world where up is down and bad is good. And THAT is exactly the point. Labels: That's Entertainment Friday, March 05, 2004
Who Needs The Bustle?
The editorial staff at the Minneapolis Star Tribune has officially gone nuts. You don't believe me? Today they published the following beauty about the current transit workers strike that has halted public bus service in the Twin Cities. Bus Stop/An Empty Corner Outside a friend's window on Thursday morning an elderly woman stood alone at the corner bus stop, waiting. No telling how long she had been there. By the time our friend dressed for work and headed outside, she was gone -- informed, perhaps, by a passerby that no buses would be coming today, or possibly any day soon. What was this writer doing at "our friend's house" so early in the morning and, if she was so concerned about the elderly woman waiting for a bus that would never come, why in the hell didn't she pop across the street to tell the poor soul that there was a strike going on? What an uncaring and thoughtless bastard! Already the transit strike has altered the rhythm of life on this particular corner of the universe, a grid coordinate best described as Old St. Anthony, northeast Minneapolis, Hennepin County, Minnesota, Midwest, United States, Western Hemisphere, Planet Earth, Solar System, Milky Way. From such a height it must seem unimportant that 265 buses pass by this corner on a normal weekday. (Mouth agape and stunned silence.) I think the writer is clearly on hallucinogens. "You're telling me that the entire universe could be just an atom of the fingernail of another being? Dude, that is SOOOO deep!" Indeed, it was an unimportant fact to our friend when he moved onto the corner last fall after living for years in the suburbs as a confirmed driver. But a few simple calculations (frequency of service, reasonable fares, cost of gas and parking) drove him to reconsider. He got hooked to the point that the bus became the preferred mode of travel to work, shopping, Timberwolves games, the Guthrie, the university, etc., not because he didn't have a car (he had two) but because the bus was better, not only as a way to get to certain places but as a way to learn things along the way, things that can't be learned in a car. Let me get this straight (no pun intended), "our friend" goes to sporting events but (no pun intended) he likes to shop, he likes the theatre and he likes to visit the bars in Dinkytown where young college-age men routinely hang out. Perhaps I was a bit off base when I assumed the writer was female. And I really like the "confirmed driver" bit. Driving really is a like a bad habit. We all just need to wake up and admit our sickness. About people, for example. There is no better opportunity than a bus at rush hour for brushing up against the full range of what constitutes the human enterprise in Minnesota. Guys in suits, like our friend. Women with briefcases. Kids doing homework. Immigrants starting new lives. Hip-hopsters on cell phones. Men with lunch pails. Women with babies. Over time you begin to absorb a fuller dimension to life, to problems, to aspirations, than before, back when you were pinned behind the wheel with talk radio's bleak conspiracies. At least, that's the way our friend tells it. Riding the bus allows you to experience all that's good about humanity. Obnoxious kids who should have done their homework the night before, people who don't speak English, gang members, men who actually bring their lunch to work in "pails" and crying babies. I'm sold! Also, note the obligatory shot at talk radio. He missed his bus rides on Thursday. He missed the folksy Minnesota custom of riders uttering to the driver "thank you" as they depart. He hopes the bustle soon returns to his empty corner. He hopes the woman who was waiting there on Thursday morning somehow found her destination. He hopes for a quick, fair solution to this strike. So do we. What is it with bustle that everyone seems to think makes an ideal city? I can't stand bustle...and I'm not too fond of hustle either. If the transit worker strike results in fewer people bustling, I'm all for it.
Case Closed on the Bus Drivers Strike
Not being a consumer of public transit, it?s hard for me to understand the real affect the bus drivers? strike is having on those poor souls forced to use this option. Therefore, I must rely on second hand reports for my information. Fortunately, I was able to locate two distinguished commentators on the subject. Between these two perspectives, the truth must lie somewhere. First, excerpts from the Star Tribune?s Nick Coleman: No buses were running, so Sam Jenkins and Robert Lee Johnson wound up in adjacent booths in the White Castle restaurant at University Av. and Lexington Pkwy. in St. Paul, having coffee and a doughnut and figuring out their next moves. ... Jenkins is a Vietnam vet who should've been on a bus to the VA hospital, where he was supposed to see someone about his post-traumatic stress disorder. But there were no buses Thursday. Back in the next booth, Robert Johnson started showing me what he reads on the bus, which he rides most days from St. Paul to Roseville or all the way to Wayzata, just to look around. A lot of the time, the bus is where he catches up on his sleep. He has nowhere else. Johnson wheeled his bag of books out of the White Castle and started walking west on University, toward Snelling. Jenkins, hunched over his cane, headed east toward Dale. There should have been a bus. Next, via email, our reader and student of the human condition, Jim Styczinski: The bus strike is providing a certain amount of amusement for those of us who lack a Coleman/Billings level of compassion and have offices overlooking (formerly) busy bus stops. Several news-deficient souls have stared impatiently down the street searching for busses that are not arriving anytime soon. One eventually glanced at a St. Paul Pioneer Press newspaper box, stared at it awhile and then left. Another left after talking to a passerby. My favorite was one pacing around, checking the schedule, and looking down the street for quite a while before disappearing sometime when I wasn?t watching. What is reality? Is the bus drivers strike tragedy or is it comedy? Who is to be believed? Nick Coleman is a highly paid newspaper columnist. I?m sure Brian Lambert considers him a professional respecter of the facts. But he?s shown on many occasions that he has a bit of a conflict of interest when it comes to the homeless. He relies on them to establish his own credibility as the most caring man in Minnesota. Therefore, he needs the homeless to be pathetic, nobale victims, no matter what the situation. Perhaps this is why he also screws them over, time after time. First, not buying them tickets to the Ice Palace, after telling them about how much they?re missing. And now not bothering to drive to a couple of crippled guys to the hospital, instead letting them aimlessly limp down the street, so he and his editors can get their happy ending. This is the editorial equivalent of staging alley fights between bums for a straight to video production. Could he be exaggerating the conditions yet again, for his own selfish purposes? Whereas Jim Styczinski, he?s a regular reader of Fraters Libertas. Plus, he?s a guy who knows a guy who knows Slim Dunlap. That?s all I know about Jim Styczinski. And I think that?s enough.
The Antidote To Katie Couric
We've all seen them. Tailgating you in their SUV with a cell phone glued to their traps. Sighing audibly as they wait behind you in line at the grocery store. Bitching loudly to their girlfriends about how frazzled they are. I'm talking about the Modern American Woman and this morning's WSJ has a tremendous review of a new book called "Spin Sisters: How the Women of the Media Sell Unhappiness and Liberalism to the Women of America" that lays out one of the ways they got to this point. (Although I have to say, that title needs some serious trimming). The author (Myrna Blyth, editor of Ladies Home Journal) lays the serious smackdown on the victimization industry and the creation of the myth that women's lives are more stressed and less relaxing that they have ever been. A bigger trend today is do-nothing feminism, the modern equivalent of smelling salts and neurasthenia circa 1900. Surely you've heard its cri de coeur, voiced with a mixture of self-pity and dainty pride: "I can't cook/vote/be on time/make my kids behave/pick up the piles of trash in my living room. I'm just... too... busy." And all of it followed by that bossy just relax tone that the women's media assume, like Big Nurse marching down the hall with an enema. Never mind the real burdens of life before the washing machine: The conceit that the modern woman's life is unbearably overwhelming now pervades our culture. This is not surprising, considering that the Seven Sisters and their cousins have a readership of more than 50 million. To Ms. Blyth, she and her peers have plenty to answer for (although -- no surprise -- she maintains that her own LHJ wasn't quite as bad as its rivals): "Turn on your TV or pick up a women's magazine and the message is clear," she writes. "If you were born female, from the first wail of life you are granted automatic membership in the victim sisterhood." Okay, so that's the victimology stuff, but what about the liberal politics? "Spin Sisters" is undoubtedly a polemic, but Ms. Blyth has also done her research. She read two years' worth of nine women's magazines -- Cosmopolitan, Family Circle, Good Housekeeping, Glamour, Ladies Home Journal, Marie Claire, Redbook, Vogue and Women's Day -- and found that each issue had at least two victim stories, which often included calls for government action. "A month without a potential new disease to worry about," Ms. Blyth writes, "was like a day without sunshine." And she cites survey after survey showing that American women don't think the way that women's magazines editors assume they do. Women are not, for instance, particularly concerned about abortion rights. They do favor the death penalty -- "I've seen women editors shake their heads in disbelief over that," Ms. Blyth notes -- and they supported the war in Afghanistan and Iraq, even being slightly more likely than men to think that social programs should be cut to fund military action. Despite patronizing media messages (e.g., Lifetime's "Every Woman Counts" election-year campaigns), women don't need to be urged to the polls like teenagers. In fact, they're at least as likely to vote as men -- sometimes more so. "Pretty darn good for a group that can barely manage to get through the day," Ms. Blyth observes with characteristic tartness. She's got a point, and one worth making.
We The People Say - Get Down!
We don?t do a lot of marketing research on Fraters Libertas, so we?re not exactly sure what people read or how they react to it. But I received some feedback today that gives us an idea of where the readers? heads are at. Regarding the new nickel, in a post earlier today I engaged in some social commentary about historical accuracy and mass consciousness manipulation through engraved iconography (really, I did). And just what was the audience thinking about as they read it? You guessed it - the wild, shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner, the bone-rattling bass of Mel Schacher, and the competent drum work of Don Brewer. This from reader Greg: Okay. I'm actually feeling my age now instead of merely looking it. When you mentioned the new nickel and a certain album, I glossed over the late date and really expected to see the cover of Grand Funk Railroad's 1971 release "E Pluribus Funk" shining out of my monitor. Oh, well.
Checking the totals on the big board shows that the TRUTH of Rudy Boschwitz....has now crept on to Google page 2! (cue the balloon drop, the house orchestra kicks into "What the world need now, is love sweet love.....")
Ladies and gentlemen, this represents a remarkable 10 page jump since just this past Tuesday. To all the fine folks who've supported the cause (including the likes of Steve Gigl), I send our warmest personal regards. Although the Texans for Public Justice hit piece remains in the catbird seat near the top of page 1, Fraters Libertas is now in the game and just a single slot away from something called White House For Sale.org. It's another alleged non-partisan "public interest" site, one using the exact same ridiculous TPJ bio for Boschwitz on its own site. Surpassing them would be a small, yet significant victory in the Rudy Boschwitz campaign. Fellow bloggers, if you're inclined to right this wrong, please bring on the links. Operators all along the love network are standing by. Labels: Politics-Local (04-05)
Friends Forever
According to reports, the US Mint has created a new nickel, which should be in wide distribution over the next few weeks. Jefferson will still be on the heads side, but the tails side is getting an update. The description: On the back of the new nickels, Jefferson's home, Monticello, is replaced with a scene that commemorates the Louisiana Purchase. There's an image of hands clasped in friendship, one with a military cuff to symbolize the U.S. government, and the other with an ornate bracelet to represent American Indians. Even this conservative advocate of traditional/conventional history has to arch an eyebrow over this warm and fuzzy portrayal of US military - Indian relations post-Louisiana Purchase. I?m sure for many Americans this will be a new way to view our own history. But if it leads to greater racial harmony and brotherhood in the future, I?m all for it and will be happy to embrace this characterization. In this spirit, the striking graphic similarities between the new coin and a certain 1987 rock and roll album suddenly make sense. Via Bill Tuomala, a numismatic separated at birth. The new nickel and The cover of the Replacements? ?Pleased to Meet Me?
The True Story Of JB Doubtless, The Farm Animals And The Restraining Order
Removed by editor. Thursday, March 04, 2004
Your Optimism Offends Me
The Bush reelection campaign's new television ads have caused quite the ruckus. At the heart of the furor is the use of some images from the 9/11 tragedy. Opponents of the President claim that he is trying to exploit these images for political advantage and this is patently ridiculous. The 30 second ad entitled "Tested" contains a brief image (2 seconds) of the American flag with the charred remains of one of the Trade Center buildings in the background. The 30 second ad entitled "Safer, Stronger" shows this same image along with an equally brief shot (2 seconds) of firefighters carrying a flag-draped coffin. The longest of the three ads, a 60 second spot entitled "Lead", has NO images from 9/11. The spoken text of these ads, which is getting no attention by the way, is what should be focused on here and not 6 seconds of images from 120 seconds of tape. The ads address such controversial issues as entrepreneurial spirit, freedom, growth, optimism, belief in America and Americans, rising to challenges, faith, family, sacrifice and strength of leadership. That is what this President believes in. That is what this President offers and I believe that is what Americans want to hear from their Commander in Chief. Sadly, some will never be convinced as one critic demonstrates here: "I would be less offended if he showed a picture of himself in front of the Statue of Liberty," said Tom Roger, whose daughter was a flight attendant on doomed American Airlines Flight 11. "But to show the horror of 9/11 in the background, that's just some advertising agency's attempt to grab people by the throat." Mr. Roger would be "less offended" with the image of the Statue of Liberty. He'd still be offended by the President's message, just to a lesser degree. With all due respect, Mr. Roger, George W. Bush was the President on September 11, 2001. He was faced with a challenge that no previous President had ever even dreamed of and he responded with tremendous strength, leadership and courage. You know this and the majority of the American people know this. You were just hoping that we had forgotten.
A Swing and A Miss - STRIKE!
From today?s Laura Billings Pioneer Press column, a prediction (and her wishful thinking) on the effects of the local bus drivers strike: Instead of cursing the striking Metro Transit bus drivers for filling up the freeways and the parking ramps this morning, more and more of us may find ourselves commiserating with them. From the front page of today?s Pioneer Press (Internet edition), an article entitled "Traffic flows smoothly on first day of strike": The first day of a Metro Transit strike found moderate traffic for area highways. It looked pretty average to me," said [MNDOT traffic information officer] Mary Meinert of the morning commute. ?From what I can tell, it was a non-event, just like in 1995," said [executive director of the Downtown Minneapolis Transportation Management Organization] Teresa Wernecke, referring to the strike nine years ago. Ouch. There goes Billings? good standing in the Psychic Friends Network. Systematically refuted by her own paper, and on the very same day her prediction appears. The shelf life of this column needs to be measured in picoseconds. An impressive standard. Usually these press folks are a little more savvy than to reveal their wishes in advance for public chaos that could be blamed on Republican governance. Her husband should be telling her (if they are still speaking to one another) - second guessing is a much more effective strategy. For her continued viability as a gal with "20/20 insight" (as her billboard ads proclaim), I hope next time she waits a few days before telling us the sky is falling.
The Sober, Articulate Case Against Seriods in Baseball
Reader Salsa and Eggs whips the Barry Bonds issue into a froth and then adds the zip: Steroid testing in MLB is necessary. This is a funny subject and very much over done. I'm sure you've heard about the Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA) in MLB and how it dictates the owners and the players' union protocol regarding the use of steroids. The agreement is: that if more than five percent of the players failed the steroid test set on a predetermined date near the start of the season, but far enough in the future so everybody could get clean, testing would continue. The penalties for failing the test are so lax that it takes five violations before a one-year suspension is given. That's right, FIVE!! Or if there is probable cause, the players' union relents to the testing. Seven percent of the players failed the testing, likely players in contract years or those trying to make the team, knowing that it was confidential. The numbers were down, Sammy "Growth Hormone" Sosa started the season maintaining his excellence at the plate with one exception, they weren't going out of the park anymore. He started juicing again after the test and got back in step. Check it out: G HR RBI Total Bases Avg Apr/May/Jun 57 10 36 105 .298 Jul/Aug/Sep 80 30 67 181 .266 Ownership is too concerned with current profits. The union is only concerned with increasing/maintaining power, even at the expense of its members health, a classic shortfall of unions. When coming up with the CBA it seems the owners and the union have overlooked the fans. Do they honestly think people will continue support through the fifth offense? Do they think the fans who admire the accomplishments Aaron, Ruth, Clemente, Mays, Killebrew, Yaz, Ted, Stan, etc., won't have opinions if nothing is done when a five time MVP has direct relationships with people known to distribute illegal substances? Baseball is a game of numbers. People DO know Mays hit 660, Ruth hit 715 and Aaron hit 755. They know Ruth hit 60, Maris hit 61, McGuire hit 70 (using a substance banned by the NFL for its masking properties but not by MLB) and Bonds hit 73. There isn't another sport so defined by the statistics, so when the integrity of the game is called into question fans will leave. Oh, and it's a bad example to set. Hello soccer. It's a test, guys, take it. The court here is public opinion, the sentence is your way of life and the way of life for future gifted athletes. Worry about the fourth amendment when it pertains. One fact people like to overlook, not all steroids are for muscle bulk, ask the Olympic swimmers. A very convincing and articulate argument. If I only would have shouted that at Pac Bell Stadium a few years back, maybe people would have listened to me. And I wouldn't have these outstanding warrants still hounding me.
Did You Ever Know I Was Their Hero?
Please hum the Bette Middler song referenced in the above title softly to yourself as you read the following testimonials to me regarding my brave, intoxicated stance against Barry Bonds. First from reader James Phillips: You are now officially my hero. Although living as I do practically in the belly of the beast of SF fans, I hate the Giants. I mean I really hate them. It's not an exaggeration. I do. (And I hate the Niners even more.) I have never liked that arrogant punk Bonds (with his private section and recliner in the locker room), but god forbid you point out that he is an arrogant jerk to some Giant fan. You may as well insult their mother. I grew up (so to speak) in Los Angeles, but as an Angels fan (which is why The Elder's insight as to their acquisition of Colon is so important to me), and I hated the Dodgers. However, as a result of living in the midst of "these people" for so many years, I am teetering on the edge of the abyss and becoming a Dodgers fan simply out of spite. It's like rooting for the Packers when they play the Niners. I don't feel good about myself, but it has to be done. Next, another Dodgers fan, the Northern Alliance?s own Captain Ed: When people ask me to identify a hero, sometimes I have difficulty answering. Sir Thomas More? General Anthony McAuliffe, who famously replied "Nuts!" to a German demand for surrender at Bastogne? The Canadian diplomats who risked their lives to smuggle Americans out of Teheran in 1979? All good answers, of course, but now one man can take his rightful place with these other people of courage: Saint Paul of Fraters Libertas. Saint Paul, you are this Dodger fan's Hero of the Year. God bless you. And this from Brooklyn blogger Ken Wheaton, who?s no doubt still holding a candle for the Lords of Flatbush: Here's a perfect example of a man crying out in the wilderness , a man ahead of his time, a man stating the patently obvious to people who are willfully ignoring the patently obvious. I take these compliments (and shamelessly promote them) with full humility. And amazement. A 2-year-old scene-making diatribe against a professional athlete, and suddenly I?m the Alexander Solzhenitsyn of the Internet. Lesson learned - NEVER get on the wrong side of a Dodgers fan. They know something about nursing a grudge and getting even. And I hope my rant eased their haunted memories of Bobby Thompson in 1951 just a little bit.
I'd Like To Teach The World (To Vote Bush)
I'm reading Buck Up, Suck Up And Come Back When You Foul Up by the two most hated Dem hacks of all time, Paul "Aint too proud to" Begala and James Carville. Naturally, I disagree with their politics, but these are undeniably successful people in one of the nastiest and most competitive arenas imaginable. At one point they compare business to politics and make the point that in politics there's no such thing as market share--you either win or lose. You can't be successful in second or third place like business: ...That's why politics is so often negative; it's an all-or-nothing game. Believe us, if you could only buy one brand of soft drink--and you were stuck with your choice for four years--the cola wars would make political combat look like a Girl Scout jamboree. Coke's ad would say: Pepsi. The Choice of a New Generation...of Cancer-Infested Rats. That's right. In a scientific study, rats that drank pepsi became riddled with cancer--pretty much immediately. Coke, on the other hand, did not cause cancer in rats. So the choice is yours: Drink Coke and live--or drink Pepsi and die a slow, painful death. After viewing Bush's new TV ads, I'm not sure he's on board with Carville and Begala's philosophy. He's taking the High Road, which is understandable. But will it be effective? It would be interesting to see what a "John Kerry Is A Moral Degenerate And Will Ensure America's Destruction" type ad would do. Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Shameless Plug
Removed by editor.
And a Drunken Idiot Shall Lead Them
JB?s recollection earlier today of the facts of the incident at Pac Bell Stadium are substantially correct. Accusations were shouted by me, at times quite vociferously, regarding Barry Bonds? use of chemical agents to enhance his athletic performance. Maniacal and boorish as it was (and it was), I want to state for the record, my motivations went beyond the gallons of Anchor Steam consumed that night. Primary among them was my outrage at the willful mass denial being engaged in by the SF faithful in attendance that night. Before us stood this freakishly bloated ball player (Bonds), exhibiting feats of unprecedented power in regard to smacking a baseball, doing violence to the cherished baseball record books and the legacy of Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, et al, and all amid a swirling firestorm of rumors and whispers that he?s been juicing for years. Yet the fans were cheering and ululating and celebrating him like he was the second coming of Jesus Vega. I sensed smugness in the air as well, people congratulating themselves for their great lives. Not only do they live in beautiful San Francisco and can afford Giants tickets on a regular basis, they also get to act like they?re special enough to be present to watch one of the great historical achievements of all time. And on this account, they HAD to be challenged. They were living a lie which none of them were willing to admit. So, when Bonds hit another home run, I let my thoughts be known in a vehement, yet non-obscene, fashion. Things didn?t actually get maniacally boorish until the beginning of the next inning. At which point Barry Bonds trotted out to take his defensive position in left field, which just so happened to be directly in front of the seats we were occupying. The crowd in our section again roared their tacit approval of his illegally enhanced accomplishments, men holding up their young sons and saying ?see little Trevor - now that?s a role model.? Needless to say, that was more than I could stand. And I realized at that moment I had the opportunity to not only confront those celebrating this man, but also to confront the man himself. What the celebrity sportswriters and broadcasters in town refused to do, this citizen-drunken journalist could now accomplish. At the very least I thought, it would be interesting to see how Bonds reacted. We were sitting pretty high up in the bleachers, so he was a good 80 yards away. Meaning I had to put every ounce of lung capacity and vocal chord musculature into my yelp. So I inhaled deeply, slugged down a couple of mouthfuls of brew, and let it fly: HE?S JUICED! HE?S JUICED! STEROIDS! HE?S TAKING STEROIDS! HE?S CHEATING! YOU PEOPLE ARE CHEERING A MAN WHO?S CHEATING! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! Variations of this theme lasted for the entire half inning. And let me tell you, there were some uncomfortable moments. Not just because a man was shouting like an idiot in public. More so, because of what this idiot was saying. I could tell those words were taboo in the friendly confines of the stadium where Bonds was on his way to remaking himself as the greatest slugger of all time. No doubt the fans had heard the rumors before, the more discerning ones probably knew they were true. But no one had any interest in saying anything - because that would spoil the party. And to let the truth come out, shouted within earshot of Bonds himself (and I?m sure he did hear me, although there was no reaction), well, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. In retrospect it still does. Here?s a reminder of the lies everyone at Pac Bell were willing to blithely accept a couple of years ago. It?s from something called SNAC (Scientific Nutrition for Advanced Conditioning), the then official story on Bonds? radical body transformation: Bonds' imposing musculature reflects this new dedication to the physical arts. Working with personal trainer Greg Anderson, the superstar slugger has refined his weight training and nutrition regimens, and it shows. "Definitely, my improvements as a player are down to training and nutrition," Bonds tells MUSCLE & FITNESS. "Without a doubt. It has made me a better athlete than I was before." But Bonds' rejuvenation owes itself to more than sets and reps. He's now calibrating his athletic performance at the cellular level. Since winter of 2000, Bonds has worked closely with San Francisco-based nutritional consultant Victor Conte of Balco Laboratories. Conte precisely measures the nutrient levels in the outfielder's blood, and then prescribes specific supplemental regimens to correct imbalances. Like the managers of every National League team, Bonds has noticed the difference. "I'm just shocked by what they've been able to do for me," he says. And now a report from Fox News from a few weeks ago. The veil begins to lift: Baseball power house Barry Bonds' personal trainer was charged Thursday with running an illegal steroid racket. A world-renowned track coach and top executives of a San Francisco-area nutritional supplements lab were also charged in a 42-count federal indictment returned by a grand jury in San Francisco. The indictment names as defendants Victor Conte Jr., 53, the president and chief executive officer of the Bay Area Lab Cooperative, or BALCO, and its vice president, 49-year-old James J. Valente. Also indicted were Bonds' personal trainer, 37-year-old Greg F. Anderson, and Remi Korchemny, one of the world's top track coaches. The charges include conspiracy to distribute steroids, possession of human growth hormone, misbranding drugs with intent to defraud and money laundering. Yes, at the time of the incident at Pac Bell, I was scorned, sworn at, and despised (and that was just by JB Doubtless and TRAH). Now that the truth is out there, am I looking for vindication? Not really. I?m happy just to know that my efforts to expose the lies were not in error. And if somewhere, somebody is thinking back to that night and saying ?you know, that drunken assh*le was some kind of a crazy prophet. Why didn?t we listen to him?! Why!? Why!?? then so be it.
Fraters Circus
(Ed. note: with the Elder away on vacation, his nephew Billy will be filling in for him. Please be patient with young Billy. He is only 8, but the Elder has taught him to link. While it may be too soon to tell, his blogging style seems to be clearly as a news-cycle linker) I hate libruls. Libruls are stupid. Libruls make me sad. Libruls caused Daddy to leave Mommy and marry the plumber. Here's a George Will column.
He Couldn't Stand the Heat
I'm listening to the Rosenbaum show on KSTP and guest Walter Mondale just hung up in a huff due to being confronted with opposing points of view. He was pontificating on and on about how Bush has polarized this country to an unprecedented degree and how dangerous this was. When the host and callers asked for specific examples and pointed out that it takes two to be polarized on an issue, Mondale's only response was to continue spouting generalized criticisms and doom and gloom scenerios. All the while he was getting more and more annoyed. When Rosenbaum speculated that perhaps no President, not even a Democrat, could bring the country together in our current political atmosphere, Mondale gratuitously dismissed the suggestion and tersely spat, "Ok, I have to go right now". Then, clunk - he hung up! Even though his interview was scheduled for another 10 minutes. Hilarious. And it reminds of Brian Lambert's comments about why MPR is a better forum for talk radio than commercial outlets: With commercial talk radio spiraling ever lower, in a cacophonic brew of carnival-barker partisanship, listeners who are both capable and interested in weighing opposing points of view are seeking new venues for information and their voice. In his flight from hearing any opposing points of view, any guess which radio station Mondale is probably listening to right now?
Saint Paul on Steyn OnLine
I think Mark Steyn is the best political writer in the English-speaking world. Not that I speak any other languages to necessitate that language qualification. But in the interest of embracing diversity, I'll allow for the possibility that there's some guy in China knocking 'em dead. (And if he's with a government paper, I mean that literally.) That's why it's a distinct honor to be Mark's Letter of the Week. Truth be told, my letter was a truncated version of a Fraters post from last week. But I checked the Bloggers Ethics Code and it turns out there is no controlling legal authority for this violation, so I'm in the clear. You'll also note that Mark's answer to my question is "read my book." Which I will be doing shortly, since a free one has been promised to me. Given the conditions of this arrangement, look for a rave review to follow in this space shortly. Yes, I did check the Blogger's Ethics code again, and turns out a quid pro quo for free merchandise is actually encouraged. Take that Walter H. Annenberg School for Communication! (Yeah, I got a BIG problem with them).
What Did He Know And How Did He Know It?
We've probably all heard the news now that Barry Bonds has been named as a steroids user. Sure, plenty of people have suspected this to be the case over the years but a direct connection has never been established. In fact, you could get in heated arguments with people quite regularly if you confidently stated that Bonds was juiced. Never one to be swayed by public opinion, our own Saint Paul made his point quite clear at at Giants game a few years back in SF. Myself, SP and The Racially Ambigious Hippie were all in good spirits watching the Giants take on the Braves. It was a gorgeous summer evening and the Anchor Steam was flowing nicely. The game, as I remember, was a blowout and although some of the crowd has dissipated, there were still a considerable number of people in our section including families with small children. Something sent SP off (a Bonds dinger? the memory fails) and he yelled "HE'S JUICED". Embarassed, but laughing, TRAH and I continued watching the game. But he wasn't done. In what could only be described as drunken, maniacal boorishness SP launched into a ten minute LOUD diatribe about Bonds and his relationship to steroids. It almost seemed that the more offened people around him became, the louder and more vociferous his rantings became. "73 HOME RUNS FOLKS YOU THINK HE DID IT NATURALLY?" Families, disgusted, left the section in droves. Various Giants fans were yelling obscenities. An old woman shook her fist at us. Even TRAH and I had to move up a few rows until SP had finished his rant. Thankfully, video of this hilarious incident exists. I've seen it, although I don't think SP is going to be posting it any time soon.
My Navel Is Prettier Than Yours!
It seems that there is a spate of bloggers regaling readers with the random contents of their CD or MP3 players. Okay. I'll play. 1) SubArachnoid Space- 10:37 2) Skullflower- Xaman 3) Frolic Froth- Wick Troglo 4) Golem- Godhead Dance 5) Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel- Pigswill 6) Explosions In The Sky- First Breath After a Coma 7) Rapeman- Coition Ignition Mission 8) Surface Of Eceon- Ascension to the Second Tier of the Outer Plane of Dryystn 9) Bardo Pond- Aphasia 10) Jesus Lizard- The Art of Self Defense Bollocks. Tuesday, March 02, 2004
It's All About The Water
Apparently, Mars once had enough water to support life. What happened to it, you ask? One word: Halliburton. Those bastards control everything.
They Got Me Coming And Going
Tonight the Minnesota precinct caucuses. Tomorrow a flight to Miami to spend some time with my sister and brother in-law and their childrens. My wife wants this to be a "get away from it all" vacation and so has requested that I refrain from blogging, checking e-mail, or surfing the 'net. Six days cold turkey. My hands are a shakin' and my palms a sweatin' just thinking about it. How will I survive without my daily dose of reading the news cycle bloggers? What if I miss Captain Ed's live blogging of the Tejano Music Awards? Will the blogosphere I leave ever be the same place when I come back? There's only one way to get through this. One day a time. Sweet Jesus. I am, after all, only human you know.
News from the Back. And the Front.
Update on the campaign to save the legacy of former Senator Rudy Boschwitz. Despite the valiant support provided by the likes of Puzzle Stud and Shot in the Dark, our momentum seems to have stalled. The hatchet job masters of spin at Texans for Public Justice are still number 2 on Google, while Fraters is stuck down on page 12. While this does represent some accomplishment (we weren?t even on the board previously), I fear only the most dedicated seekers will make the necessary journey in the bowels of Google to uncover this shining beacon of truth. We?ll continue to periodically monitor the situation and if any of you fellow bloggers still would like to lend a hand in this noble effort, the original post to link to is here. For those of you who have already supported this site, I ask you not to despair. Some victories are being won. Ladies and gentlemen, I?m pleased to announce you are now reading the fourth ranked site for those doing research on the hardest hitting peace activist in town, Rachel Goligoski. And all for this report which appeared last week. Now that feels like justice.
Evildoers In The Lost Forest
I haven't read the comic strip Mark Trail for years. Last time I did, he was busting poachers with a knockout punch to the jaw, just in time to save the pet deer of some wide eyed urchin. This morning, for some strange reason, my gaze happened upon the strip during my daily scan of the comics page, and I was a little shocked to see what appeared to be a surface to air missile about to be deployed. I did a quick double take, rubbed my bleary eyes, and checked again. Sure enough Mark is on the verge of spoiling the plans of a couple of terrorists to down a plane with a SAM. Of course his efforts will require a little help from nature, in this case a mother bear and its cub. Don't look for a quick conclusion however. A little back reading shows that this terrorist plot storyline goes way back to at least early February. Maybe it's just me but the two terrorists in question don't exactly fit the profile. One looks a bit like Jesse Ventura, the other resembles the original G.I. Joe doll. Terrorists and political correctness running rampant in the Lost Forest? This ain't your father's Mark Trail.
Twins to Acquire Bruised Japanese Melon
Will Twin outfielder Jacques Jones be traded for Dodgers left hander Kazuhisa Ishii? Maybe, maybe not. Such is the cerrtainty of spring training rumors. But Twins Geek, per usual, reports all that is known at this time: MLB's gossip columnist reported yesterday that there are rumors about a possible Jacque Jones for Kazuhisa Ishii trade with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Ishii is interesting for a lot of reasons. For instance, his season ended last year whe he took a line drive off his forehead. That may not be terribly important, but it sure is interesting. Monday, March 01, 2004
A Moment Of Clarity
In JB Doubtless' most recent post, he attributed a little homecoming prank to the Elder's high school class when the honor actually belongs to mine. It was a truly beautiful moment, I must say. The story, however, deserves a little background. My freshman class (at a St. Louis Park Catholic high school which will remain unnamed) was deemed the worst freshman class ever by school officials. We were repeatedly summoned to "special assemblies" throughout our first year by the principal at which we were chastised roundly for having less than the required amount of school spirit. By the end of that year, several students had to be relieved of their school attending duties due to various violations of school policy, many of which could have resulted in short jail sentences. I lost a few friends that year. Having successfully gotten rid of the baddest of the bad seeds, things began to go the administration's way in the following years. Several members of our class took the reins and steered those who would follow onto the path of the good and the righteous. Some of us (myself and Man From Silver Mountain, to name two) did not appreciate being so led and by our senior year (maybe junior year, the memories are foggy) had seen enough. Around about homecoming time, a plot was hatched (by whom I can no longer remember) to unseat the self appointed leader of the "good" side of the Class of '85 (a total wanker to this day, I'm told) who was a virtual lock to win the coveted homecoming king title. The plan was to install our own king through a covert grassroots effort. We picked one of the most unpopular and homely guys in our class and staged a massive write-in campaign. To our complete and utter amazement, our candidate won. (The similarities between this election and the 1998 race for Governor of Minnesota have just now struck me as eerily similar.) In retrospect, it was a cruel thing to do to the sacrificial lamb who won. But we never meant to slight this poor guy. We just wanted to stick it to the lousy chucklehead who took it upon himself to try and redefine OUR class. We were the class of losers. We were the class of miscreants and reprobates. We never attended the football games, we didn't give a rip where our school's soccer team placed in the state tournament and we didn't care for the sons-of-bitches who did! We were the Class of '85 and no letter jacket wearing, soccer playing, class president pretty boy was going to represent US at the homecoming dance! Now that I think about it, I skipped that dance. I was on a pontoon boat on Lake Minnetonka that night with a bunch of buddies and a few cases of beer trying to avoid the police. Meh...it's just as well. I was never much of a dancer.
Not A Proud Moment
I just finished watching American Idol The Rejects or whatever they called it. It was an entire episode of just those who stunk so thoroughly that they warranted seeing again. Naturally, the night was topped off by William Hung and his inimitable Ricky Martin stylings. Sad, really. I'm reminded of when the Elder and I (I believe A Dog was still there then too) were in high scrool (as Rush calls it) and the Elder's entire class decided to elect a rather homely and unpopular individual to be homecoming king. And he won. I'm not sure of the Elder's involvement in this conspiracy, but I do believe he voted for him. It was pathetic to see this guy posing for pics, hamming it up with the hot chicks and not for a second did he realize the entire thing was a big joke on him. Now American Idol aint high scrool, but does William Hung know exactly how awful he is? I'm not sure. He's enjoying himself now, but will he have found memories of this time in twenty years or will he think what a fool the culture made of him? I was starting to feel a little green toward William, seeing him cavorting with all of those UCLA dames and all. But I was relieved to hear him give this answer to host Ryan Seacrest when asked if he is meeting many women: "I am meeting women, but they are just friends." I think I speak for all single men of the 'sphere when I say that I couldn't handle this dude having a more active dating life than I do.
It's All About The Family
What's that you say about Bush and sugar Atomizer? Do you know which state has a big sugar industry? Florida. And you know who the governor of Florida is? Another Bush of course. We're through the looking glass here people.
Don't Let It Get Away
Beautiful day yesterday. In the afternoon I walked to a nearby store with my wife and picked up the Windows XP upgrade. Yup, I decided to bite the bullet and upgrade my O/S. And you know what? It went remarkably well. A few drivers to download, a couple of programs to reinstall, but really not that bad at all. Now I have a much better O/S (granted anything is better than ME) and my wife can use her newly purchased IPod. After getting XP set up and loading up the IPod with tunes, I enjoyed a well deserved early evening nap. Then dinner and then hockey. 9:30pm game. We rallied to tie the game with about a minute left and our goalie pulled for an extra attacker. Before the OT started my line mates guaranteed a victory on the bench. On our first shift in OT two nice passes lead to me banging in the game winning goal. What a perfect way to end what was indeed a most beautiful day.
It's All About The Sugar
Newly exiled ex-President of Haiti Jean-Bertrand Aristide claims that the Bush administration had him kidnapped and dragged out of his country. This scenario has apparently been bought by Maxine Waters and Charles Rangel, two of the most level-headed members of Congress. They, among others, have accused the Bush administration of "...encouraging a rebel advance in Haiti that led to the ouster of a democratically elected government." To what end, you may ask? I think the answer is perfectly clear. George Bush wants control of Haiti's sugar refineries. Before the end of the week, it will be discovered that a subsidiary of Halliburton has vast interests in the sugar production business and they just needed to gain a foothold in Haiti in order to continue on their path of total domination over the world's sugar market. Just you wait.
Pride and/or Prejudice
Local blogger Steve Gigl writes in to cast another cold eye on Brian Lambert?s reporting on MPR: Do you suppose Lambert might be an occasional guest on Lydon's alleged show? Anyway, my favorite sentence in all of that is this: "Persistent criticism from conservatives notwithstanding, both MPR and NPR are proud of the ideological balance they bring to reporting and on-air dialogues." Funny, you'd think that a balanced show in a nation that seems ideologically divided near 50-50 would get criticism from BOTH sides, wouldn't you? Even Soucheray and Hewitt get accused of not being conservative enough fairly regularly. Good points by Steve. Even if MPR thought they were balanced (and I?m sure they do think that), it seems that consistent criticism exclusively from one side of the political spectrum should create at least some doubt in their minds as to their objectivity. Doubts that perhaps they?re missing something or that maybe their culture is so politically homogenous and insular they?re not able to objectively evaluate their own performance in this regard. Given similar stimulus, that?s how I?d react. But according to Lambert, they?re so sure that they?re doing a good job at being objective, they?re proud of it. (Pride - a deadly sin, no less!) My recent engagement with MPR over their selective labeling of education advocacy organizations confirms this characterization of pride in the face of criticism. My initial inquiries were rebuffed with a customer service type telling me, in essence - ?I looked into your claim of bias, turns out there?s nothing to it. Thanks for your comments.? Only with repeated inquiries did I draw a thorough response from the MPR reporter. I will say his excuses seemed legitimate and not necessarily a product of conscious bias. But they were clear proof of the insular culture at MPR. This guy hadn?t even heard of the concept of selective labeling before and certainly didn?t know conservatives have a big problem with it. Therefore, he thought nothing of labeling one group as ?conservative? while failing to label another, overtly liberal group, with any qualification whatsoever. He revealed he knew that the conservative group had a political agenda for their advocacy, but that it never occured to him that the other group, in clear opposition on the issues, had any political orientation at all. To him they were just ?Parents United.? And he didn?t bother to do any research on them, because he didn?t think it was important to his story. So if that reporting wasn?t biased in design, then it was merely inaccurate, naive, and lazy, resulting in a distorted portrayal of events. Now does that sound like anything to be proud of?
Yes, Virginia there is a Northern Alliance Radio Show. And while the notion of a radio station giving a bunch of acid-tongued amateurs a talk show seems about as fanciful as a pudgy, elderly, gent clad in red dispersing gifts around the world in a single night, it is indeed quite real.
Last Saturday we met at the formidable (as in able to withstand a nuclear assault) AM 1280 The Patriot studios to learn the ropes of radio and iron out a few contract details. Hindrocket from Power Line stood firm in his demand that we get 80% of all profits from coffee mug sales, while JB Doubtless insisted that his rider include a provision for a case of Milwaukee's Best AND two large bags of Skittles be made available in the green room at the conclusion of every show. Faced with the prospect of unhappy talent (I use that term loosely) and the threat by Mitch to bring his bagpipes into the studio if matters were not resolved, management caved and an accord was reached. And so it begins. Saturday March 6th 12:00pm-3:00pm on AM 1280 The Patriot. At this point in time streaming audio is not yet available, and so those of you outside the Minneapolis-St. Paul metropolitan area will miss out on what is sure to be the best conservative talk show in town from noon to three on Saturdays. That's right baby. We're already throwing the smack down on Dave Thompson. One interesting, and to me quite personally satisfying, detail in all this is that in order to make room for the Northern Alliance Radio Show, another show has to go. For radio airtime, unlike economics, is indeed a zero sum game. For every winner there must also be a loser. And in this case the loser is none other than Hugh Hewitt. Granted, it's just a replay of Hugh's show that we are replacing on the air, but still there's something enjoyable about being able to say that we've bumped Hugh from the airwaves. Labels: NARN (04-05)
Minnesota Public Radio and some Bostonian talk jock named Christopher Lydon have been engaging in a strange mating dance in the press the last few weeks. I've never heard of the guy before, but his use of the name "Christopher" alone is a huge, pulsating, red neon "DANGER DANGER POMPOUS ASS" warning sign. Given my ignorance of him, it's clear he's not a big name in the industry. So I'm not sure why we should be treated to multiple articles on his tryouts and contract negotiations with the local government funded broadcasting outlet.
Brian Lambert featured the latest update on Sunday. He goes as far as posing 4 "pertinent questions" that the contract negotiations must resolve before a radio station no one listens to hires a guy that no one's heard of. Here's the beauty of the bunch: Does Lydon's unabashed liberalness create unacceptable levels of discomfort for neutral and balanced-minded MPR? It'd be a sea change, no question about it. Persistent criticism from conservatives notwithstanding, both MPR and NPR are proud of the ideological balance they bring to reporting and on-air dialogues. MPR, at least, is extraordinarily careful not to paint itself into a partisan corner. But Lydon's appeal is based on, well, Lydon being Lydon. You don't bring him to town with the idea of neutering him or hammering him into an "objective" hole. The question stands, is Brian Lambert merely a partisan political hack with enabling editors or actually delusional? Hiring an unabashed liberal for an MPR show would be a "sea change" for "neutral and balanced-minded MPR?" The chick Christopher would be replacing, Cacklin' Katherine Lanpher, was an unabashed liberal newspaper columnist (for the Pioneer Press) and liberal commercial radio host (at KSTP) before coming to MPR. She leaves MPR to join Al Franken in what they all admit is going to be the definitive liberal radio network. Yet the hiring of an unabashed liberal is a "sea change" for MPR? I can only imagine the size of the sneering snicker on Lambert's face after he wrote that (or the crazed glower of dementia--if it's that whole delusion thing which is actually driving him). One of Lambert's other comments reveals what a radical departure liberalism would be at MPR. This is in regard to his concern that hiring Lydon instead of a woman would be a serious problem: ...that roster would risk furor among MPR's internal and external feminist caucus. I think it's fair to say that any corporate culture with an internal and external feminist caucus has a rather intimate relationship liberalism already. Lambert uses interesting language to describe MPR too--"neutral and balanced-minded." To me that's kind of an admission that their execution is lacking, even if their heart is in the right place. I'd like to be charitable and speculate that this may be the start of Lambert coming to terms with the fact that MPR programming has an ideological slant to it. But I think he has another devious motivation. That is, if MPR hires an "unabashed liberal" to host one of their news programs, the only way he'll be able to justify his continued characterization of their ideological purity is to say MPR is "neutral-minded," but sometimes necessary practical considerations intrude to make them slightly deviate from their moral high ground. Those practical considerations are revealed later in the Lambert article: For listeners, the singular appeal of the Lydon-Buzenberg/MPR courtship is that both are actual journalists. They have a professional respect for facts, accuracy and topics beyond trendy pop effluvia. There it is--even if Christopher Lydon is an unabashed liberal, he has respect for facts, accuracy and deep thinking. Considering that, how can you possibly blame MPR for hiring him. The man is a professional fact respecter after all! Which brings up the question of what type of person wouldn't be appropriate for an objective minded government organization like MPR to hire. Lambert tells all: With commercial talk radio spiraling ever lower, in a cacophonic brew of carnival-barker partisanship, listeners who are both capable and interested in weighing opposing points of view are seeking new venues for information and their voice. And in Lydon's case, he brings the immeasurable advantage of being both engaging and entertaining. The hosts of commercial radio talk shows, just coincidently all Conservatives, now THOSE guys are partisan political hacks. And their listeners, not capable or interested in weighing opposing views. My reaction to this is best summed up by paraphrasing a Lileks comment from a few months back, on the experience of reading a Lambert criticism of talk radio: "Oh, you don't know what you're talking about, do you?" Lambert may think Hugh Hewitt, Dennis Prager, Michael Medved, Dave Thompson, Joe Soucheray, et al are cacophonous carnival barkers. But he ain't heard nothin' yet. Northern Alliance Radio starts on Saturday afternoon. For the sake of his career, he may not want to listen in. Given the standards of hyperbole he's using to describe these other shows, I don't think he could review us without having to use the "f" word. Labels: Media-Local (02-04)
File Under 'S' For Satire
A poll conducted jointly by the New York Times and National Public Radio shows President George Bush losing to John Kerry, with 56% of the respondents saying that would vote for Kerry and 44% for Bush. The most interesting angle of the poll is that it was conducted among Republicans. "These results clearly show that Bush is losing support among his base", said NPR spokesman Margaret Jorgenson-Martinez. Joshua Daniel Davidson of the Times agreed, "The war in Iraq, the jobs situation, and the ballooning deficit have all contributed to cause people who have voted Republican for years to decide that they will not vote for Bush come November. And this dissatisfaction with Bush crosses over all groups that form the Republican core. Evangelicals, fiscal conservatives, supply siders, war hawks, the family values crowd. You name it. They're ready for change." The sample size of the poll was nine people randomly interviewed on the street in the small town of Keisterfarg, Ohio in the days leading up to Tuesday's Democratic primary. Jorgenson-Martinez defended the methodology of the poll, "It is perfectly legitimate. After all these types of anecdotal interviews form the basis for most of our news stories. And I believe the same is true with the Times." When asked if there had been any attempt to verify whether the respondents were actually in fact Republicans, as they had claimed, Jorgenson-Martinez rather testily replied, "Look we're all trying to get out a story here. We've got deadlines and none of us wants to spend any more time in these podunk towns then we have. If they say they're Republicans that's good enough for us. Sure we might be guilty of a bit of lazy reporting, but don't you dare try to accuse us of bias."
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TALK O' THE TOWN 
Listen to the Northern Alliance Radio Network on Saturdays from 11am 'til 3pm on AM 1280-The Patriot:
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