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Sunday, October 31, 2004
A Break In The Action
It has been a wild and wacky coupla of days. Starting with Atomizer's grooms dinner on Thursday and ending with today's pathetic excuse for NFL football at the Metrodome, which I had the extreme displeasure of attending (Giants 34 Vikings 13), I've hardly had time to catch my breath. In between of course we had Atomizer's wedding (which featured what I believe to be the first ever wedding toast Fisking by the Warrior Monk), the NARN show on Saturday, and dinner with JB Doubtless and his soon to be fiancée (if those wedding toss traditions mean anything) on Saturday night. Tonight, I'm handling the Halloween candy duties. I've got my lap top on the coffee table, have the appropriate Halloween decor up (lots of skulls, spiders, and candles), a glass of The Dalmore Cigar Malt at my side, and am jamming to a little Halloween Hootenanny. So far the urchin turnout has been light, which may be partly explained by the decorations in my front yard. Not the skulls or spiders mind you. I have a hunch my prominently displayed Bush/Cheney signs may be giving a few of my liberal neighbors pause. What if the candy contains some sort of mind control substance designed to brainwash their childrens? Sounds like just the kind of thing that Karl Rove would do. I suppose that it doesn't help that the candy choices I'm offering to the trick and treaters are Kickback Bars (made by Halliburton of course), $87 Billion Dollar Bars, and Gummy Ashcrofts (the perfect snack after a long day spent crushing dissent). Still it does seem a bit strange for liberals to be turning down the opportunity for a free handout doesn't it? The next few days don't promise much of a respite. Monday will involve frantic last minute "get out the vote" efforts, while Tuesday will simply be known as The Longest Day. After I vote and put in a full day of work, I'm going to be doing some roving reporting as part of The Patriot's election night coverage. I'll be hitting both the GOP and DFL victory parties and will try to squeeze in a few other stops at places of interest. We're planning to be on the air from 8pm until 3am (or earlier if someone concedes). The fun is just getting started.
How do hillbillies celebrate Halloween?
They pump kin. The enduring charm of that joke stems from its universal quality. The denigration of "hillbillies" represents the joke in its classic form. But since the apex of anti-hillbilly consciousness in the 1950's (marked by the satirically withering Beverly Hillbillies television program and the sardonic Ma and Pa Kettle franchise) the "hillbilly" has subsided in our nation's pantheon of disdainful ridicule. But in the grand tradition of American pluralism, you can use that joke to attack the niche lifestyle group, ethnicity, national origin, or municipality of your choice. It works for anyone for whom you wish to allege has improper levels of intimacy with their direct relations. And doesn't that describe everyone's enemies? For example: How do people from Hopkins celebrate Halloween? They pump kin. Ah yes, it works beautifully every time and it never fails to bring smiles to bigots, xenophobes, and closed minded chauvinists of all ages. And today, Halloween, is the day to use it for its maximum effect. Have fun kids and Happy Halloween from Fraters Libertas. Labels: Halloween
Saturday, October 30, 2004
A Shout Out To My Peeps!
A big thanks to the entire Fraters Libertas staff, and others, for their participation in last night's festivities. To my brother, The Warrior Monk, thanks for your very eloquent toast that succeeded in embarrassing me in front of over one hundred of my closest friends and relatives. I will never...ever...forget it. So watch your back! To The Elder, thanks for making it through the two scripture readings without breaking off into another one of your "Vote Bush Or Die" monologues. I know how hard it is for you to resist the temptation when there's an open mic. To Nihilist In Golf Pants, thanks for the outstanding rendition of "Burning Love". The King Himself never sounded so good. To Saint Paul, thanks for not dancing. One graceless and rhythm-deprived white guy on the dance floor was bad enough. And, finally, thanks to JB Doubtless and the lovely Doubtlessette who left last night with not only the coveted bouquet but with the bride's garter as well ensuring that he'll be the next Frater to provide free booze and food to his buddies for an entire evening. That about does it. I'm off to San Francisco with my beautiful bride in a few hours, so have yourselves a great election. I promise to live blog every moment of the honeymoon so you won't miss a thing. Well...ALMOST every moment.
Friday, October 29, 2004
It Has Begun
I am pleased to be "Live blogging" the wedding of our man The Atomizer and his lovely bride The Atomizerette. The A Dog was a tad nervous, but things went off without a hitch (wait, there was a hitch). The Elder gave a beautiful and touching reading from Leviticus, which he referred to as "Levis-us" but after that much Laphroaig, no one noticed. Our own St. Paul was seen doing some of his stand up in the backyard of the residence, and considering the wedding was literally right next door to our own Governor's Mansion, at one point cried out "Tim Palenty, if you care about bloggers, you will show yourself". He did not appear.
Stay Golden
It is with mixed emotions we note the birth of a new blog, Girl in Right. That's the new name of the occasional contributor to Fraters Libertas, formerly known as the Golden Girl. Now that she's hung out her own shingle, she'll no longer be submitting her witty barbs and insightful commentary to us, which is sad. But since she no longer has to put up with our incessant, picayune editorial requirements (particularly the Elder's strange obsession with dangling participles) I expect to see a lot more of her work getting out there. And that's a good thing. Based on the quality of her inaugural post alone, I'm prepared to say she's a burgeoning force in the blogosphere. And I fully expect 3 or 4 of these per day. Every day. But no pressure, my dear. (One last editorial correction, in regard to your inaugural post, the Coleman of our derision is Nick Coleman of the Star Tribune, not Norm Coleman of the United States Senate. That latter guy, we like.) Welcome to the show, Girl in Right. Is it too early to nominate her to the Rocky Mountain Alliance? I know the hazing is brutal, but she can take it. She's from a red state.
The Press Lives!
Rumors of the demise of the press have proliferated in certain circles, based on their complete absence in covering some of the major stories of the year. The many questionable claims of John Kerry about his combat record on which he based his Presidential run, the attempted use of forged documents by a major media institution to influence a Presidential election, and the UN Oil for Food scandal are examples of essential stories that were ignored by our sentinels in the fifth estate, making us wonder if they were indeed dead. Some observers began to wonder if they ever existed in the first place. Well, I'm here to tell you, they are alive and kicking. In fact they're barking and squawking like the circus is in town. During lunch I listened to a Pentagon press conference on the radio. A couple of Army spokesman were discussing recent allegations regarding missing weapons from an Iraqi stockpile. I only heard the last 10 minutes or so, but the spokesmen did a fine job in presenting the case that the US armed forces secured and later destroyed the overwhelming majority of munitions discovered during the charge to Baghdad. (Remember, they were still engaged in combat operations at the time, and that mission's accomplishment wouldn't be realized for several more weeks. Posting rear guard security teams was not, and should not have been, priority one. Are we clear on that?) The spokesman also reiterated that the preponderance of evidence is that the Al-Qaqaa depot was vacated before the US established control of the country. But the press wasn't at all satisfied with the explanations given. Lordy, you should have heard the baying of these jackals (as Jesse Ventura used to call them). Every time one of the spokesman would pause in their answer, three or four reporters began desperately shouting questions, all talking over each other in blustering cacophony of righteous inquiry. It sounded like a bad science fiction movie, where the panicked press is trying to get some answers after the President announced we're about to be invaded by Flying Atomic Monkey Overlords. ("Yes, but sir, is it true the Flying Monkey Overlords acquired their weapons due to the negligence of US troops in a combat zone?") When one of the reporters would finally shout down the others long enough to get to ask their question, the skepticism and insinuation oozed from their voice. You could literally hear their rumpled brows and askance looks over the radio. It was righteous outrage we haven't seen since, well we haven't seen it since George W. Bush's twenty year old DWI conviction was announced in late October 2000. An impressive performance by the press, I must say. Hard to say how all of this will play out. But one thing is clear, the press is doing all they can to make this politically motivated, poorly reported, poorly understood, OLD news enough of a scandal to shave a few points of the President's total on Tuesday. But what do you expect? They are the press. Showing some judgment and professional standards of objectivity, now THAT would be an October surprise.
More disturbing news continues to trickle in regarding former Fraters Libertas endorsee for Ramsey County District 3 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor (pant pant) Jill Wilkinson. According to the Pioneer Press:
Libertarian Party officials say they believe criminal charges may be filed soon against their former treasurer, who they say has taken thousands of dollars of party funds. Jill Wilkinson, 44, of St. Paul also is a candidate for the Ramsey County Soil and Water Conservation Board. "We're at the point where we have calculated the final tally," state party chairman Ron Helwig said. "It's about $12,000. She was treasurer and actually one of our best workers, and a good volunteer." Which shows nothing improves the performance of a "volunteer" than 12 grand in compensation, fraudulent though it may have been. I do have to question the timing of this story, breaking only now in both the Pioneer Press and Star Tribune, a mere week before the election. I wonder, could all of this simply be the October surprise we've been warned that incumbent Ramsey County District 3 Soil and Water Supervisor Marj Ebensteiner was going to spring? Ebensteiner is DFL endorsed and you know how those people are when it comes to manipulating the press in order to win elections. This Wilkinson theft story is actually old news. Way, way, way back in late September, the Libertarian Party newsletter already covered this story, with the addition of a few more details: The theft came to light when the party got an eviction notice from the owner of LP headquarters, who said the rent hadn't been paid in three months, [State Chair Ron] Helwig said. Treasurer Jill Wilkinson had held the position for a little over a year. Her husband, Colin Wilkinson, was a member of the state executive committee and has also resigned. He showed up at an executive committee meeting Aug. 9 and read his wife's statement in which she admitted her guilt, Helwig said. He also agreed to pay back the money, at $400 per month, and has already paid the $3,000 in past-due rent, so the LP won't be evicted. ... Jill Wilkinson says her daughter and members of a gang have been extorting money from her with threats of violence. I don't know what's more pathetic, Wilkinson's claim that her fraud was motivated by an extortion attempt by her own daughter. Or that there's a gang in Minnesota hoping to get rich by shaking down the Libertarian Party. What's next for them, muscling in on the lucrative Socialist Equality Party action? Labels: Politics-Local (04-05)
Voting Advice for the Tragically Hip
The Suburban Nihilist emerges from his dark night of his soul long enough to impart some much needed perspective on the various 'get out the vote' campaigns being shoved down our throats this election season. Easily manipulated, conspiracy-believing, ennui-ridden Uptown types may want to pay particular attention to his 10 entirely legitimate reasons not to vote, which include: Since ballots are secret, you really don't know if yours counted. If you are voting Republican, union thugs might beat you. If you are a minority and voting Democrat, the police might do same. While both these statements are probably BS, why chance it? In the time it takes to vote, you could watch your favorite TV show, possibly twice. Driving to the polling place pollutes the environment. Hard to argue with that logic. Let me add that many are speculating a record high voter turnout this year. Everybody is doing it. So much so, it's bordering on cliché. Those desperately trying to stay ahead of the hipness curve may want to stay away from the polling place on Nov. 2. Not voting is the new black.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Eye Candy For Lileks
For all the best in 1950's graphic design, check out the wonderful Ephemera Now site. Thanks for the tip Wes.
The researcher formerly known as "Ace," Jim Styczinski informs us of a breaking development in the hotly contested Ramsey County District 3 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor race:
The Star Tribune is reporting that our endorsee for Ramsey County District 3 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor, Jill Elizabeth Wilkinson, has admitted to embezzling $10,000 from the Libertarian Party. I recommend Fraters Libertas withdraw the endorsement, and endorse perennial write-in candidate Bart Simpson. Unless of course you (Saint Paul) live in District 3 (East Side of St. Paul) and are willing to throw your hat in the ring yourself. You could live blog all of the Soil and Water Conservation meetings. As inviting as that sounds, I do not live on the hard rockin' East side. And since the Payne Reliever closed, I don't have much reason to go over there at all anymore. So I must reject this draft movement. To quote William Tecumseh Sherman, "if nominated I will not run, if elected I will not serve." Or if you prefer a paraphrase of another Sherman quote, "Soil and Water Conservation is hell!" (I won't even bring up this other Sherman quote, made during the Civil War and which I m sure every commander in Iraq can empathize with.) Since we relied on Jim's research for our endorsements in the first place, and now it appears he's squandered our credibility by advising us to endorsing a criminal, I say let the punishment fit the crime. Vote Jim Styczinski for Ramsey County District 3 Soil and Water Conservations Supervisor! But, I wonder, do we really have to withdraw our endorsement from Ms. Wilkinson? As the liberals like to say about Saddam Hussein, "we know he was a bad guy, but ....". "But" indeed. Extenuating circumstances may exist to allow us to adopt a relative morality. For John Kerry and the liberals in Congress (don't you love those ads?) some abstract concept of "stability" excused Saddam's mass murder and continuous, egregious violations of his surrender agreement after Gulf War I. In the case of Wilkinson's crimes, can't we find something to rationalize our continued support of her? The Star Tribune does provide us with one such reason: "The libertarians run for these smaller offices. They infiltrate and then destroy," [Wilkinson's opponent] said. Wilkinson acknowledges that her party advocates downsizing government. "We can't abolish all of government," she said. And she said she has no plans to abolish the Ramsey County conservation district. "But if it's proposed, I'll listen," she said. You hear that? She's got an open mind, people! Sure, it's an open mind about infiltrating and destroying. But an open mind, nonetheless. Who could possibly vote against someone with an open mind? OK, maybe that's not enough to salvage our endorsement of her. If only there were some guidance we could get on this matter. For instance, if there was a prominent elected official who has been convicted of theft, yet is running for office again. And maybe our local newspapers would have to decide on whether or not that's a disqualifying criteria in their endorsements. That would definitely help us decide what to do. Our brethren in the Main Stream Media could show us the way. If only .... If only they'd address the strange case of Rep. Phyllis Kahn (DFL-Minneapolis). As you may recall, a few months ago this 32-year veteran of the legislature and member of the Democratic leadership was caught red-handed stealing Republican campaign literature and convicted of theft. Now she's blithely running again, assuming it's no big deal to be involved in election fraud while you're a public servant. After she pleaded guilty Thursday to stealing campaign fliers from New Hope, Minn., (sic) residents' door steps, Rep. Phyllis Kahn, DFL-Minneapolis, said Friday she does not think her conviction will affect the upcoming election. I'm sure she does think that. With assumed power does go arrogance. But what about the professional journalists composing the institutional voice of the Star Tribune? Are they willing to overlook her brazen attempts to disenfranchise the good people of New Brighton and to subvert the very foundations of our democratic system? I can't tell for sure yet. Both it and the Pioneer Press have been suspiciously silent about this race. The closest I can find to a professional journalist judgment on the race in 57B is the Minnesota Daily (the student paper of the University of Minnesota, whose main campus lies within Kahn's district). These budding young journalists ran a profile of the candidates, including Phyllis. But for some reason, they didn't see it fit to even mention the fact Representative Kahn was convicted of election fraud. They teach the kids well over at that journalism school, don't they? Keep your eyes out for the reporter, Stephanie Kudrle. With clippings like this in her portfolio, she's a cinch to someday be the new Capitol reporter at the Star Tribune. She does get a few quotes out of public servant Kahn: When asked if she ever plans to retire, the Democrat laughed. "I have unfinished business," she said. Which I guess means she didn't steal every piece of campaign literature she intended to. Look out New Brighton Republicans, she's got unfinished business to do! There's also this: "No one ever accused me of not having fresh ideas," she said. No, but someone did accuse (and convict) her of misdemeanor theft, while in the commission of perpetrating election fraud. Which, to be fair, is probably not a fresh idea for the DFL. Getting back to our deliberation, to withdraw or not withdraw the endorsement of the thief Jill Wilkinson. I think using the model of the mainstream media is the only responsible course of action. They've been at this game a lot longer than we. Plus, they know stuff. Therefore, Fraters Libertas is proud to announce its endorsement for District 3 Ramsey County Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor is .... Phyllis Kahn. Congratulations Phyllis and good luck on November 2. Labels: Politics-Local (04-05)
Our Little Boy Is All Growed Up
Finally, after months of anticipation, the big day is almost here. No, I'm not taking about that silly election thingy next week. I speak of the long anticipated and hotly wagered wedding of Atomizer. That's right ladies. As of this Friday around 6:45pm CST, Atomizer will no longer be available on the free agent market. His rights have been snapped up (in ways he can't even possibly yet imagine) and he's expected to sign a lifetime contract. The whole Fraters crew will be on hand to witness this blessed event (and pay off our bets). I will be goose stepping guests down the aisle in my role as usher, while Saint Paul and JB will be live blogging every second of the sacred ceremony. Then the reception, where I plan on delivering a blistering ninety minute "toast" detailing why everyone in attendance is morally obligated to vote for President Bush. It's all the couple really wants for their wedding present don't ya know. Next, the newly married sweethearts will jet off on their well-deserved honeymoon. And where else would you want to be during a bitter, acrimonious election than a tolerant, open minded place like San Francisco? Atomizer has promised to keep us updated with round the clock reports, including pictures of how election day plays out in the city by the bay.
Up to this point, I have not been able to get too worked up about the missing munitions story. I suppose it's because I've become so cynical and jaded about the motives of the mainstream media and the bias inherent in the system (help! I'm being repressed!) at places like CBS and the New York Times that nothing surprises me anymore. I've become so desensitized that I merely shrug when I read that it appears likely that the New York Times, CBS, Democratic campaign operatives, and a UN stooge worried about job security colluded in a last minute attempt to influence the outcome of the US presidential election. Meh. As Homer might say, "Yeah, but what are you going to do?"
This morning, I realized that this story was actually a clarion call to action for conservatives. But not a one-off, write angry letters, boycott select advertisers, kind of reaction. This story once again points out the need for a long term, all encompassing response to the bias in the mainstream media. The most effective approach to weight loss is not yo-yo dieting, but rather a lifestyle change that includes eating better and exercising. We need to take such an approach to the media. We need to make long lasting media lifestyle changes. I used to believe that the best way to fight the liberal media was to engage them on their turf. I used to subscribe to the Star Tribune, sent letters to the editor, and submitted commentary pieces. But now I've reached the conclusion that the proper approach is to delegitimatize and marginalize the most egregious offenders. And the way to do this is to cut them off entirely. The fuel that feeds their fire is advertising revenue. Advertiser revenue that is generated on the belief that consumers are reading, listening, or watching each particular media outlet. Newspapers and magazines don't make their money on subscriptions. They use (and in some cases, inflate) their subscription base to sell advertising. Television and radio use their ratings to sell advertising. In order to fight media bias, we must stop feeding the fire. The multi-headed media beast must be starved. I urge you to step back and take an inventory of your media lifestyle. It's time to make some changes. If you subscribe to the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Minneapolis Star Tribune, or any other newspaper with an outright liberal bias, you must cancel your subscription immediately. There are no more excuses. Yes, you're going to miss out on some sections of the paper that you've come to enjoy and rely on. Tough. The conduct of the these institutions in this campaign leaves no question as to where they stand. Conservatives cannot, in good conscience, continue to subscribe to newspapers that are so obviously committed to doing whatever it takes to promote a left wing agenda and liberal candidates. Starve the beast. It goes beyond newspaper subscriptions. You need to take a good hard look at the advertisers who stream revenue into these papers and consider whether you want to continue patronizing them. They are the ones keeping the papers in business and should be held to account. This goes beyond the major dailies too. Why should I buy a product or service from a company that helps propagate the childish political rantings of an alternative weekly like the City Pages? Take your business elsewhere, but be sure to tell those companies that you're choosing not to do business with exactly why. I don't think that many business owners make a connection between their advertising and the political bias of these papers. But they should. I understand that if you own a business your primary motivation is to succeed, and to do that you need to attract customers. But at what price? Are you willing to sell your political soul for a few pieces of silver? Starve the beast. The same goes for "mainstream" magazines. Time, Newsweek, and US News and World Report? Gone. Seriously. What are you possibly getting out of them that you can't find on the internet anyway? While you're at it, you might as well throw People on the ash heap of history as well. You'll sleep better at night. Starve the beast. Television news. First off, no one should ever watch CBS News again under any circumstances. On Election Night the normal temptation is in flip back and forth between the various cable and networks news channels to try to stay on top of everything. But next Tuesday you must not even think about hitting CBS News. In fact, you really should never watch anything on CBS ever again. Really. What's more important to you: who the next president is or CSI:Toledo? Sacrifices people. We all need to make sacrifices. I will grant a special dispensation for those living in AFC cities to be allowed to watch football on CBS. I would also encourage you to not watch the news on ABC, NBC, or CNN. If you must, don't tell anyone that you do and if you ever have a chance to fill out a Nielson survey make sure that you shut them out. Starve the beast. If, for some inexplicable reason, you are still giving money to public radio or television, kindly cease and desist this practice immediately. You are funding the Garrison Keillors and Bill Moyers of the world. Need I say more? Starve the beast. We can whine and complain all we want about the conduct of CBS News and the New York Times and how unfair they are blah, blah, blah. But unless we're willing to make systemic changes in our behavior as media consumers, we're going to be in the same place next time around wondering why we're always on the short end of the stick. Stop reading their crap. Stop watching their crap. Most importantly, stop buying their crap. Stop feeding the beast. Labels: Media-National (02-06)
Life is pretty sweet right now for Vikings fans. At 5-1, the team holds the second best record in the NFC. The quarterback is having a season for the ages, we keep producing new star running backs on a weekly basis, and no players have been arrested for DWI or assaulting a traffic cop with their Lexus for many, many months.
Even the compound fracture to our souls, suffered during last year's excruciating season ending collapse to the Cardinals, is beginning to heal. It looks like all systems are go for a playoff run, and maybe, just maybe a Super Bowl victory, to finally banish the ghosts of post season failures past. Hey, the formerly pathetic Red Sox can do it, why can't the Vikings? Yep, everything seems to be sunshine and happiness for Vikings fans. Right? Wrong. According to Sports Illustrated, the guy that owns the team hates you: ... if McCombs had his druthers, he'd be getting ready to move the Vikings to Los Angeles. "Let's face it. I would love to be in L.A.," McCombs said in an interview before the Vikings' 20-3 victory against the Tennessee Titans at the Metrodome on Sunday. No, he's not singing a Randy Newman tune. He's upset that the people of Minnesota won't build him a new football stadium. And he admits, if it were up to him, he would have already moved the team to the second largest media market in the country, which happens to be without an NFL team. Except: I just can't pick up and go to L.A.; that's a league issue. I'm a team player, so I'm not going to test the courts and run off in the middle of the night. Yes, that's what he is, a team player. Unfortunately, Vikings fans are on a different team than he is. McCombs's loyalty belongs to his fellow owners. And, god love them, they're holding Red to the terms of the NFL's agreement with the Minnesota Legislature back in 1977, that they'd keep a team here until at least 2011, if we succumbed their last stadium demand, resulting in the much reviled Metrodome. So it looks like Red and us are stuck with each other for a while. Which is fine. Maybe we can still win it all, despite him. And we haven't had the consensus necessary to chant that the owner of a local team "sucks" since Norm Green and the North Stars left town. (Ed note: The title of Saint Paul's post should actually have been "Skol Vikings") Labels: Football
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Swingin' And Swayin'
Must be a bit boring these days for the vast majority of the country who don't live in a battleground state. 'Round 'bout these parts, you need a program to keep track of all the comings and goings of the prominent figures from the Kerry and Bush campaigns. Heck, we even had us one of them real life Holleewood celebrities in town pimping for votes the other day. Some feller named Ashton Kutcher. Supposed to be a prankster from what I hear. Kutcher, a 26-year-old Iowa native, appeared with Democratic vice presidential candidate Sen. John Edwards, Chris and Andre Heinz, Max Weinberg and Jeff Tweedy of the band Wilco on Tuesday at the Sports Pavilion. Approximately 3,500 people attended, campaign spokeswoman Stacie Paxton said. Sounds like an event that JB would have liked to attend. Wonder if his invite got lost in the mail? Anyway, word around town is that the big cheese hisself is going to gracing our fair state once again this Saturday. Down at the Target Center in Minneapolis. Doors open at 10:30am and close at 2pm. You can get yer tickets to see the prez at the Bush/Cheney campaign HQ in St. Paul or at Premier Foods 842 Vandalia Street Saint Paul, MN 55114 Both locations will be dispensing ducats from 9am until 8pm. It don't mean a thing if you ain't in a state that could swing.
The friendly NARN competition, Dave Thompson from KSTP, emails his thoughts on John Kerry ...
As all political observers know, campaigns are often won and lost on "little" issues that sometimes have nothing to do with substantive issues. Most pundits agree that the slight surge for President Bush following the third debate was, at least in part, the result of Senator Kerry's unseemly reference to Mary Cheney's sexual preference. The power of this comment came from its demonstration of Senator Kerry's lack of character and judgment. Earlier this week we learned of the report that 380 tons of explosives disappeared from Iraq right under the nose of U.S. forces. Upon further review, as they say in the NFL, this allegation is dubious at best and an outright lie at worst. Even Kerry's number one foreign policy shill, Richard Holbrooke, stated, "I don't know the truth." Nevertheless, Senator Kerry continues to hammer the President on "facts" that have been disproved. This is yet another demonstration of Senator Kerry's lack of character and judgment. But this goes well beyond the Mary Cheney debacle, because this story has policy implications. It does not take a professor of logic to see the disingenuous nature of Kerry's criticism. First, if such stockpiles of weapons existed despite the most excellent efforts of Hans Blix and the boys, then I guess the inspections weren't working so well after all. Second, Kerry now alleges that Saddam likely put these weapons into the "wrong" hands. Well, if he believes Saddam was ready, willing and able to put these weapons in the wrong hands despite the efforts of the U.N., then Bush's war looks pretty reasonable. On Wednesday morning, the President started his attack on this issue. He should continue his attack until the last voter leaves the last open polling place. John Kerry really stepped in it on this one. Very true. For those wishing to hear more about it, Dave broadcasts his radio show on KSTP during a certain weekend afternoon day part that will go nameless. Hey, if he wants more publicity, he can buy an ad on Northern Alliance Radio, Saturdays 12-3PM on AM1280, the Patriot. One radio show accepting ads from another radio show on at the same time? Are we insane? Yes, insane for ratings! (And ad revenues!) We're breaking all thre rules! Hear it all for yourself this Saturday on the Patriot! Heee-aaaah!!! Labels: Media-Local (02-04)
Today's Leftist Lunch Feature Presentation
From today's Pioneer Press, here are the scream headlines in the Nation/World section: Allawi Blames U.S. for Ambush (Associated Press) CIA Stalls Report on 9/11 Failures (New York Times) Allies Pressure Powell on North Korean Talks (Knight Ridder News Service) This story also includes the bonus picture of a despondent Korean in a fishing hat holding a picture of Colin Powell with an "X" through his face. Powerful stuff. Nothing illustrates Bush's arrogant foreign policy more than the despondency of the Korean recreational fishing community. Commander Denies Weapon Site Searched (New York Times) Although they tried, the Kerry campaigners in the press missed their chance for maximum effect on this headline. The article is a defense of the claim that the US was negligent in securing the Al-Qaqaa weapons depot. But the headline is too vague to be interpreted in an overtly partisan manner. Next time I suggest something more to the point, like "US Failure Aids Terrorists". In fact, that could be the name of a special section, maybe for the Nov. 1 issue. We'll see what else the press has planned as the week progresses, but today's efforts deserve recognition. It's the first one page quadruple hit piece parade I've seen yet. No doubt it's the final election week drive pushing the Pioneer Press editors to do all they can to help their team win, the appearance of propriety be damned. Believe it or not, I was unable to find a single pro-Bush headline, or hell, a positive development on anything, in the entire world. So instead I pulled out the comics page. Thankfully, we'll always have that rascal Fred Basset watching our back. Check out this wry, subtle commentary on John Kerry's lack of a coherent defense strategy.
I Guess We Always Knew He Didn't Like Bush
So Andrew Sullivan has come out in support of a Kerry presidency. Lileks has done a good job taking apart the ridiculous arguments he makes to support this whacked-out endorsement, but as a plain-spoken Midwesterner I will just say that Sullivan is full of crap. The tortured thinking of Sullivan's and his reasons why Kerry would be a better Commander In Chief betray what I think is his true reason to oppose Bush and it has nothing to do with how he handled Iraq, or terrorism or any other issue. For Sullivan it is personal. The logic goes a little something like this: 1. Bush is religious 2. Those living an alternative lifestyle see religious people as a threat 3. Kerry isn't very religious 4. Therefore Kerry is less of a threat and a better choice for president But what is the threat? The threat that those in the alternative lifestyle fear is any reminder that what they are doing might (might) be wrong. The wolves of guilt can be kept at bay as long as people don't "Judge" them. And who are those that they feel are judging them? Religious people. People who haven't embraced moral relativism. People who might not be all that willing to happily support two dudes getting married. People who tend to be Republicans. In many ways, I guess I can't blame him. Paranoia of the "Religious Right" and their power is not unusual for many people. But Andrew, give us a damn break with the diversions and intellectual wankery about why Kerry would be a better president. Hey, if you want to live in P Town and do your thing nobody really cares, but don't try to sell BS to us about Bush so you don't have to deal with the guilt of your own adult decisions.
WWRD?
While it's true that George W. Bush is no Ronald Reagan, it's not hard to figure out which of the two current choices for president fits more closely in the Reagan mold. James Phillips dusts off a famous Reagan speech from 1964 to bring clarity to the matter in this post at Infinite Monkeys: Forty Years ago today, on October 27, 1964, Ronald Reagan gave one of the most memorable political speeches of the century on behalf of the ultimately unsuccessful Goldwater presidential campaign: "Rendezvous With Destiny", more popularly known as A Time for Choosing. On the day Ronald Reagan's died, I listened to "The Speech" again. More than once. And I was struck by how much of it still rings true today. Yes, thanks to President Reagan, we did win the struggle with Communism. But we are now engaged in a titanic struggle with Islamofascism (excuse the melodrama, but it really is such a struggle). RTWT.
Wax On, Wax Off
Poet extraordinaire Tarzana Joe, e-mails to wax on the missing munitions: Often the obvious small but important detail is overlooked in the big story. The big question seems to be whether the explosives were there when the American forces moved in or had Saddam moved them before the invasion. The little detail that intrigues me is the notion of international inspectors putting wax seals on the bunkers containing these explosives. If Saddam wasn't supposed to have these explosives or was supposed to be in the process of destroying them, what good is sealing wax? Does the international community think that just because there is a wax seal on the door that would keep us safe? Keep Saddam from using them if he got the notion? They were left in Iraq. They were under his control. Wax was just not going to stop him. For goodness sake, this is the nutty thinking that John Kerry will bring to foreign policy. We can give fissionable material to Iran as long as we keep a copy of the lot number. Then if the Iranians explode a bomb in Detroit, we can trace the plutonium back to them and use that as evidence against them in The World Court at The Hague. Tough luck, Detroit. But we have a pretty good chance to convict them at trial.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Larry King-like Random Musings On The World Series
- Is St. Louis really that pathetic or are the Red Sox on one of those rolls where everything just goes your way? - Gotta love that National League game don't ya? Nothing like watching a clueless pitcher make a base runner blunder that would get a Little Leaguer chewed out. Yeah, but the DH takes a lot out of the game, right? - I listened to the first few innings on ESPN Radio while out for a walk. Joe Morgan was talking about how he was surprised that the Cards didn't try to lay down a bunt against Schilling when they faced him at Fenway. What is this BS about "not playing that kind of game" anyway? You're playing for a world championship boys. You do whatever it takes (within the rules of course) to win. In the NHL playoffs, if you find out that one of the star players on the other team is nursing an injury you don't back off, you go after him. Specifically, you go after his injury. It's about making him "uncomfortable" as Morgan put it and it's part of the game. At least it should be. - I know we're in the midst of a war and all, but can we dispense with the singing of "God Bless America" during the seventh inning stretch? I mean c'mon, if we go back to "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" does it really mean that the terrorists have won? - Memo to Red Sox Fans: I know you haven't had much experience in this, but please, when you finally break The Curse this year, can you act like you've been there before? Get drunk, make a fool of yourself, and puke in an alley or two. But try to refrain from the rioting, arson, and wanton destruction that most of us expect to rack Beantown in the aftermath of a Red Sox victory. It would go a long way to bringing some much needed class to your act.
Pocketbook Indicators
Last Spring, when the price of gas became the topic du jour around the office water cooler, I realized that a good many Americans perceive the cost of fuel as one of the defining measures of how things are going. Whether that perception is based on reality is irrelevant. It exists and it matters to people. After some further thought on the matter, I concluded that the two most widely known and recognized economic indicators for your average Joe Six Pack or Sally Housecoat are gas prices and the Dow Jones Industrial Average. If you drive a car, you can't help but know what the price of gas is. And if you read, watch, or listen to the news at all, you will come across the DJIA or at least know how the stock market performed that day. And so I came up with my own completely unscientific, unresearched quick and dirty criteria to predict the outcome of the election based on these two factors. If the Dow is above 10,000 and gas is under $2 a gallon, Bush wins. If only one criteria is met, it's a toss up. If neither is met, things are looking good for Kerry. Before you rip into my model, please remember that it's nothing more than a shot in the dark. It hasn't been tested or analyzed against historical precedents. I've just been using it as my barometer to try to get a feel for what might happen on November 2nd. And right now, I'm a bit worried. The average U.S. gas price is $2.06 a gallon, and, even though it rallied nicely today, the Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 9888.48. Does this mean that a Kerry victory is in the bag? Of course not. But it does make me a little nervous.
Monday, October 25, 2004
The Sophistication And Nuance Of The Left
Is on display once again with these bumper stickers for sale on Ebay. But don't you dare call them unpatriotic.
She Knows It...
...when she receives it. As a campaign contribution that is. Anti-porn candidate returns donation to 'erotic gift' store owner: A $250 contribution to Democratic congressional candidate Teresa Daly's campaign from the owner of a store specializing in "erotic and risqué gifts" was sent back Thursday, her campaign manager said. The discovery came amid Daly television ads suggesting that children are "barraged with porn." Daly, a Burnsville City Council member, is running against GOP U.S. Rep. John Kline in the 2nd District, which runs across the southern suburbs of the Twin Cities area and some rural areas to the south. The Sept. 14 contribution was from Colleen Bertino, owner of Minnesota-based Fantasy House Inc., which on its Web site advertises "naughty novelties," "liquid sensations," and "leather and bondage." If you're interested in er...um..."researching" the matter further, you can check out the full line of "naughty novelties" and "liquid sensations" at Fantasy Gifts. After all, Christmas is right around the corner...
Speaking of Endorsements...
Ben Johnson provides a run down of foreign leaders who are endorsing Kerry or Bush in this piece at FrontPage. Who says endorsements don't have an impact anymore?
Post Cards As The Edge?
Craig at Lead and Gold has a suggestion for how you can still make a difference in the election: Go to the post office and pick up 5 or 10 post cards. Send them to people you know but don't see every day. Tell them you are voting for George Bush, tell them the main reason why, and ask for their vote. This is particularly effective when you write people who are not partisan and who may sit out the election. Works best of all when the recipient is a potential swing vote living in a deep-blue environment (got an aunt who retired to Florida? Or what about a friend's kid who is now away at college?)
And The Winner Is...
The winners of last week's Captain's Quarters caption contest have been announced. I understand the judge is a man of stellar judgment and character, so you'll want to be sure to check it out.
You And What Army?
It seems that the Democrats are willing to do just about anything to win Minnesota on November 2nd including destroying lawn signs, intimidating campaign workers, and stealing literature. Now John Kerry's stepson is promising to unleash a plague of Biblical proportions on our fair state. A horde of lawyers (Bart Simpson shiver of fear). According to the Republican Party of Minnesota web site, Andre Heinz made this statement today at Hamline University: "And we will have lawyers at the polls, so if anyone tells you 'sorry, you can't vote here' you can say 'I'd like you to meet my lawyer' which is always a fun thing to be able to say." Yeah, that's just a hoot ain't it Andre? I'm sure our hard-working election judges will find it oh so amusing when some smart-assed young punk who can't follow the simple rules of voting LEGALLY whips out that witty rejoinder. Instead of spending your time bringing in an army of nitpicking litigators, why not educate your "people" so that they vote at the right frickin' place to begin with? If you're not bright enough to figure where to vote, then you probably shouldn't be voting in the first place. Unfortunately, the only way to respond to such legal thuggery (other than following Shakespeare's oft referenced advice) is to assemble your own goon squad of bullying barristers. Rumor has it that Hindrocket of Power Line infamy is being groomed for just such a role on a team of Minnesota GOP lawyers that will be working the trenches on election day. On the other side of the aisle, Ember Reichgott Junge mentioned on the Taxpayer's League Show last Saturday that she will be active on the DFL's legal election team. Hmmm...Ember vs. Hindrocket? I gotta like our chances in that one.
The campaign season is in its final week, which means it is time for the editorial board of Fraters Libertas to momentarily drop its normal standards of fairness and objectivity and reveal our preferences for specific candidates.
Why is Fraters Libertas officially endorsing candidates? Unlike the St. Paul Pioneer Press, we are not endorsing to give our readers a look at how the institution Fraters Libertas might vote if it were to drunkenly stumble into the polling booth. No, we are endorsing so that our sheep-like readers will blindly follow our every dictate, thus increasing our power and influence over every aspect of their lives. Like real editorial board members, we were too lazy to go out of our way to actually talk to anyone or engage in detailed policy analysis. No, we basically winged it. We did invite all candidates to take part in our candidate interview process. If they didn't happen to see our not entirely obscene, hastily scribbled overture on the men's room wall at Keegan's, that's their problem. Without further ado, here are our official 2004 endorsements for Soil and Water Conservation Supervisors. First, some more ado. With the possible exception of air and light rail transit, nothing is more important to our survival than soil and water. Yet the Main Stream Media rarely offers endorsements or even basic information about the non-partisan Soil and Water Conservation races. So once again we, the new media, are forced to fill the information vacuum. Did you know each county in Minnesota is divided into five Soil and Water Conservation Districts? It's true, and each district is represented by a supervisor elected by, we, the people. The position is unpaid except for per diem. Candidates run in the district in which they reside, but the entire county elects the supervisors in all districts. After all, soil and water conservation does not end at the district boundary. It ends at the county boundary. (Please note the Soil and Water Conservation Districts are not to be confused with the Board of Minnesota Water and Soil Resources. That's the unelected Star Chamber of jack booted soil and water thugs appointed by the Governor.) Ramsey County District 2 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor The candidates for the open Ramsey County District 2 seat are Gwen Willems and Dorothy Waltz. Of the four contenders for the two contested Ramsey County seats, only Dorothy Waltz went to the trouble of filling out her campaign biography. She also has a website devoted to her candidacy. Ms. Waltz holds a Masters Degree from the University of Michigan and spent sixteen years on the Dakota County Soil and Water Conservation board. We are concerned that Ms. Waltz may enjoy the sweet life of a Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor just a little too much. But we have uncovered even more damaging information on her opponent Gwen Willems. She is DFL endorsed. Fraters Libertas believes that Ms. Waltz is ready to move up from Dakota County to the big time, and therefore endorses Dorothy Waltz for Ramsey County District 2 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor. Ramsey County District 3 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor In District 3, incumbent Marjorie Ebensteiner is facing challenger Jill Elizabeth Wilkinson. There have been no major Soil and Water Conservation scandals under Ms. Ebensteiner's watch, and her last name is similar to that of Minnesota Republican State Chairman Ron Eibensteiner (though it is spelled differently). We do not take turning out an incumbent lightly, especially in time of war. But we can't ignore the fact that she is also DFL endorsed. When we ask ourselves WWKRTUTE*, the clear answer is Jill Elizabeth Wilkinson for Ramsey County District 3 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor. *Who Would Karl Rove Tell Us to Endorse Hennepin County District 5 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor No fewer than four candidates are vying for the hotly contested Hennepin County District 5 seat. They are Gregory J. Bownik, Jonathan M. Burris, Kevin W. Rodewald, and Michael Wyatt. Unfortunately, we could find no DFL endorsements for this seat, so we are forced to exercise actual thought and judgment. Gregory Bownik has twice run unsuccessfully for Mayor of Rogers, MN. He received 102 votes in 2000 and increased that total to 826 in 2002. We believe that Mr. Bownik was too quick to give up on the Mayor's Office - we prefer to see more persistence in Soil and Water Conservation Supervisors. Jonathan M. Burris has no identifiable soil or water credentials. But he is a lawyer and a gay activist. The website for his law office, QueerLawyer.com, lists one of Mr. Burris's areas of practice as "Gay Divorce". While we are impressed with the forward thinking on Mr. Burris's part, we prefer to see more persistence in illegal gay marriage covenants. The domain of candidate Kevin W. Rodewald's e-mail address is globalhemp.com. While we admire dreamers of any sort, we fear that Mr. Rodewald may have a secret plan to use the bully pulpit of Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor for disseminating propaganda on the benefits of wearing Unisex Hemp Yoga Pants. As you may recall, this was the same criteria we used to withhold our endorsement of Roger Moe in 1998. Michael Wyatt is a Planner for the Minnehaha Creek Watershed District with ample soil and water conservation experience. Fraters Libertas heaves a sigh of relief and endorses Michael Wyatt for Hennepin County District 5 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor. You have your marching orders. Now go out and vote properly. If you don't live in Ramsey or Hennepin Counties, find the addresses of those who do, hunt them down, and get them to vouch for you on election day. Thank you. (Ace researcher Jim Styczinski assisted in the preparation of this of this report. Questions, comments, and subpoenas related to McCain-Feingold violations should be sent directly to his attention.) Labels: Politics-Local (04-05)
Always On The Sunny Side
Right-wing bloggers are cautiously optimistic about the 2004 election according to this poll conducted by Right Wing News.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Mother Of The Disappeared
An exclusive interview with the mother of the goose that Kerry bagged is now available at This and That: "Why did my daughter have to die for a Kerry Photo Op?" Powerful, powerful stuff folks.
Saturday, October 23, 2004
The Strib's hipster-in-residence Chris Riemenschneider
 wrote up a little interview he did with Wilco front man Jeff Tweedy, referring to Wilco as "America's most critically lauded rock band" which apparently means something to some people. I've always gotten a kick out of critics like Riemenschneider. Like so many of his ilk, he is so deeply immersed in an intellectual and pyschological (albeit subconscious) bog of Being Cool that he simply cannot cogently tell us, the reader, if a band is enjoyable or not. To a critic like Chris, bands that people actually like (Matchbox 20 for example) are to be sniffed at like chain restaurants. The true geniuses are the bands that only Chris and his band of musician friends can appreciate, bands most people have never heard of, will never see and could care less about. So I have to ask, why the hell does the Star Tribune employ this precious little guy? The City Pages isn't covering the hipster club scene properly? The 46 people who show up at the myriad crappy area clubs to revel in their own uniqueness on a given night are an untapped market for a major newspaper? I would say less than 1% of the readers of the Star Tribune give a damn about what's happening at the Turf Club or 7th Street Entry, but week after week Chris appears to breathlessly inform us of Where We Should Go. The other music critic of the paper (boomer John Bream) looks like HE is being given the job writing up the stories about bands people actually listen to, like Toby Keith. Chris couldn't soil his rep with such hackery. I can imagine a conversation when Bream--a boomer who came of age on classic rock and Riemenschneider--a hipster who nursed from the teat of punk, post punk and various assorted "important" music in his formative years first met: After a few name-droppings of bands Bream has never heard of, he finally breaks down "You don't know the band Grand Funk? The wild, shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner? The bong-rattling bass of Mel Schocker? The competent drum-work of Don Brewer? Oh, man!" So back to Jeff Tweedy. I've said before that owning a Wilco CD is more about how you want people to perceive you than it is about actually enjoying the music and reading the interview solidified that. Chris writes: "His cough was rougher on the ears than the 10 minutes of feedback at the tail end of his band's quirky new CD, "A Ghost Is Born." 10 minutes of feedback? That sounds like it would be fun to hear! Did someone set a guitar against an amp during a weed break and forget to turn the tape off? That, folks, is what it takes to be "America's most critically lauded rock band". Check out this exchange between Riemenschneider and Tweedy: Riemenschneider: The song that people are saying is abrasive and challenging is "Less Than You Think," because of its 10 minutes of soft feedback. Explain that one. Tweedy: We had this song that was a pretty simple, straight-forward kind of folk song that described a very specific kind of chill that you get when you start to feel your insignificance. Like a microscopic existential crisis. But it never felt like it quite completed the thought. I think time expands in those moments. What happens afterwards was designed to comment on what we were just saying. So the song that might be the most contentious song on the record is in a lot of ways the most thoughtful song for us, and I think the most beautiful song, actually. What the hell is "Soft feedback"? And I love it, "challenging" to describe atonal noise (which Tweedy thinks is "beautiful"). Are you up to the challenge of actually sitting through 10 minutes of feedback? I challenge anyone to do and tell me it was an enjoyable experience. I guess the bottom line is why would anyone want to enter Jeff Tweedy's misfit world of such nerdy, dark, nihilistic, depressed (in the interview Tweedy refers to his severe depression, which is unfortunate) garbage? Everything doesn't have to be puppy dogs and ice cream all the time, but is it actually ENTERTAINING to enter the mind of a depressed hipster?  Labels: That's Entertainment
I Decided Not To Kill The Goose Before I Decided To Kill It
After reading a little about the Kerry goose story, I've got to hand it to him. He's done it again--he can now plausibly state both that he killed the goose ("Everybody got one") for his election hopes now and then later, when he is back in full lefty mode he can claim he never really killed one himself if ever challenged by animal rights types. It's just like the medal chuckin' he did back in the early 70's. And another thing, in previous interviews he has claimed that he deer hunted with his "trusty double barrel" a dubious claim at best, considering most hunters use rifles or shotguns with rifled barrels (which most double barrels don't have). But when he was out on his goose hunt, a time when his trusty double barrel would be appropriate, he had an over-under, which was referred to in several clueless MSM reports as a "Double-barrel". If that gun was so special to him as he inferred earlier, wouldn't he have used it? 
If you live in the Twin Cities area and want to get involved in the election campaign, you'll have yet another opportunity TODAY.
Come on down and join the Northern Alliance Radio Network all-star calling squad at the Minnesota Bush/Cheney '04 headquarters in St. Paul. We'll be there from 4pm-6pm helping to get out the vote and we need your help. You'll have a chance to meet the gregarious gents from the show, win a collectors edition NARN t-shirt, and help President Bush take Minnesota. The address for the headquarters is: 1445 Energy Park Drive St. Paul MN, 55108 Phone: 651-645-5614 Here's a handy map as well. After the work, we'll be adjourning to a nearby watering hole for bantering and beer. If you're lucky, Mitch may even favor us with a song. "Muskrat Love" perhaps? Labels: NARN (04-05)
Political Gamesmanship
Clay Calhoun is co-sponsoring a contest to predict the winner of the election and the time (and date) of the loser's concession speech.
Another exciting, fascinating Northern Alliance Radio Network broadcast is in the works for today. Hosting this week will be Captain Ed Morrissey, Mitch Berg, Chad the Elder and yours truly, 12 - 3 PM (Central) on 1280AM The Patriot. Those in the hinterlands can catch it all on the stream.
Today's highlight promises to be the second hour, John O'Neil from Swift Vets and POWs for Truth and author of Unfit for Command. The Swift Vets have been in the news a lot during this campaign season, but if you haven't personally heard O'Neil's testimony on the facts of John Kerry's service record, you haven't heard the whole story. To be clear, the Swift Vets didn't form to merely criticize Kerry's war record, they came about as a response to John Kerry's attempt to use a distorted version of his record to mislead the American people into believing he was some kind of war hero, and not that other guy seen throwing his medals to the ground and calling American soldiers war criminals. The Swift Vets organized to counter John Kerry's attempt to use them, the very people he called war criminals, as a tool of his campaign. On several occasions, Kerry sent out the clarion call for his "band of brothers" to join him. And he's intimated that he has their support. This from his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention: Our band of brothers doesn't march together because of who we are as veterans, but because of what we learned as soldiers. We fought for this nation because we loved it and we came back with the deep belief that every day is extra. We may be a little older now, we may be a little grayer, but we still know how to fight for our country. Indeed they do. And overwhelmingly the Vietnam vets are fighting for their country by opposing the candidacy of John Kerry. Tune it today and hear for yourself, it's compelling and persuasive stuff. And none of it has been discredited or "unsubstantiated" as the New York Times would have you believe. I particularly invite critics of O'Neil and the Swift Vets to listen and I defy you to call in and prove O'Neil wrong on a single point. And if you don't call in your silence will be interpreted as complete acceptance of the O'Neil thesis. Northern Alliance Radio, today 12 - 3 PM, don't you dare miss it. Labels: NARN (04-05)
Friday, October 22, 2004
You ever get a song in you head for no particular reason at all? You know, a song that you haven't heard in years, then BAM one day it breaks in to your conscious and loops endlessly. Usually it's an annoying little ditty that you never liked much in the first place. But now you just can't stop thinking about it. You catch yourself humming it throughout the day, and have to fight the urge to openly break into song.
Well, for some strange reason I'm currently being afflicted by the song "Muskrat Love", a song that no self-respecting man wants any part of. There's really no explanation for it. Out of the clear blue it seeped in and no amount of wishful purging can remove it. Odd, isn't it? I've always associated the song with The Captain & Tennille, that edgy pop duo from the 70's (who actually have recorded an album as recently as 2002). I did not realize that the song was originally recorded by the melodic musicians of America: The choice for the album's lead track and first single was "Muskrat Love," written by Oklahoma singer/songwriter Willis Alan Ramsey. "The idea was: each of us was working on three songs, and then we'd agree on a cover tune," Beckley says. "David Dickey had played us Willis Allen Ramsey's album on Shelter, and it had 'Muskrat Love (Muskrat Candlelight)' on it, as it was titled. And to us it sounded like a very bluesy, quirky tune. We just felt it was quirky and commercial, and we worked it up." Warner Bros. was less than enthusiastic about the song, and as a single it made it only to #67. But the "Muskrat" refused to die--Captain & Tennille released their own version in 1976 and scored a #4 hit. "You know that movie Multiplicity with Michael Keaton, where you make a copy of a copy of a copy? Well, I think 'Muskrat Love' is a fine example of where the closer you go back to the original seed, the nicer it is. Ours was once removed, and the Captain & Tennille's was even more removed. They got their version from us--they assumed it was our song." On a completely unrelated note, don't forget to tune in tonight to catch the Northern Alliance Radio Network filling in for Hugh Hewitt. 5pm-8pm CST. Since we've got more hosts than mikes, I believe that Saint Paul will be on the air starting at 6pm, while I'll join the fun at 6:30pm. If you feel the urge to participate, give us a call at 1-800-520-1234. Labels: Music
John Kerry's rally in the Metrodome parking lot yesterday is being hailed as one of the largest in state history. The Kerry campaign's estimate was 30,000. Inflated as that might be by spin, the pictures attest it was an impressively proportioned seething mob.
Big attendance and the pictures provided are the real point of these events. If you can portray an outpouring of genuine support and revved up excitement for a candidate, the independent swing voter might just be swayed. Because deep in his heart, all he really wants to do is support a winner. It's the bandwagon effect and this is partly why polls taken days after an election asking voters "who did you vote for?" typically result in the margin of victory for the winner far exceeding the actual vote tally. Believe it or not, sometimes the press even helps out in creating the impression of a chosen candidate as Mr. Excitement. For example, the Star Tribune's breathless headline today "Kerry Ignites Dome Crowd" and the objective description provided by the professional journalist on hand was: Tens of thousands of fans roared their way through an amped-up 34-minute version of the Massachusetts senator's stump speech. This Kerry fellow does sound like he's some sort of Magic Man. From that description, even I may have to consider voting for him. But I hope his chances aren't hurt by voters confusing him with that other John Kerry. You know, that aristocratic, moribund Democrat we've seen on TV for the past 20 years. Perhaps the Democratic partisans were really as fired up as the press reports. By their own "Anybody But Bush" philosophy, their standards for excitement are remarkably low. They'd probably be just as jazzed for an appearance by someone as coma inspiring as Walter Mondale. (Oh. Never mind.) This is the point that is missed in the press reports. The crowd was almost exclusively comprised of rabid partisans. No one was there with an open mind or drawn there on the basis of Kerry's magnetism. The crowd is there to play the game as much as the candidate is. He pretends he's the fresh new voice of optimism and excitement and progress, they pretend they're reasonable, intelligent voters who've conscientiously weighed the issues and realized this man is what the country needs. And it all looks good on TV and in the quotes provided to the newspaper. Things like: Kerry ignited thousands of supporters, many of whom waited outside the Metrodome in a light drizzle and steady winds for more than two hours. "We need change and we need help and I think he brought that to us tonight," said Marlys Fox, 43, of Columbia Heights. Getting back to the alleged record crowd for Kerry, I wonder how much of the turn out was due to another event, conveniently being held at the same time. The teacher's union convention started yesterday in St. Paul. These days they call themselves Education Minnesota and their convention is their annual gratuitous demonstration of power to the people of Minnesota. Instead of holding their meetings sometime over their three month break during the summer, they shut down the entire public school system in the middle of the school year. By their own estimates (which again should be looked on with suspicion) 10,000 - 12,000 professional educators attend. This out of their entire membership of 70,000. So the education system grinds to a halt so 17% of the membership can attend a union meeting, while the rest enjoy a nice four day weekend at taxpayer's expense. Showing once again, being a monopoly is good work if you can get it. I wonder how many in the crowd yesterday were teachers, fresh from their Excel Center meetings and seminars. Or simply teachers who had the day off, and no work the next day either, thus allowing them the luxury of taking hours to participate in a political rally on what is a work night for everyone else. There's no direct evidence to support this speculation (the local press sure isn't on it), but the teacher's union unyielding support for the Democrats is well established. According to George Will: one in 10 delegates to the Democratic [National] convention was a member of a teachers union According to Free Republic (via the AP), the 2.7 million member national teacher's union (NEA): ... has never endorsed a Republican for president and typically spends $9 out of every $10 it raises on Democrats. All of that money, by the way, provided by YOU. From your property taxes to teachers' salaries to the union to the campaign of John Kerry. Yet another reason to demand school choice - defund the Left! For these reasons, I think it's entirely reasonable to assume the Metrodome parking lot last night was lousy with teachers. But in actuality, they didn't even need to go to Minneapolis to participate in a partisan political rally. There was plenty of that going on at their convention. Flash from Centrisity was there: Bob Woodward was the keynote speaker at the Education Minnesota convention. I was fortunate enough to make it in time to get a nice center aisle seat, 5 rows from the front. He opened to a standing ovation, receiving a warm greeting from a crowd who wasn't really sure what he was going to share. He waved us down stating "Please sit down, it's not that good", which was greeted with a room full of chuckles. Giving a newspaper reporter a standing ovation is a bit much (which even Woodward seemed to realize). But never underestimate the love of this crowd toward those who helped bring down a Republican. The Education Minnesota promotion of the Woodward appearance tends to support this: Woodward first gained national attention when, as a young investigative reporter for the Washington Post, he teamed up with Carl Bernstein to investigate the burglary at the Watergate office building that eventually led to the resignation of President Richard Nixon. Bravo! Bravo! Sure, maybe they were only applauding that whole 'speaking truth to power' thing. If so, I expect Matt Drudge to get a standing ovation for instigating the Clinton impeachment, next time he's invited to address Education Minnesota. More from the Flash at the convention: This spiel was no rah rah speech like those that preceded his keynote. Prior to him, both Senator Mark Dayton and Garrison Keillor pumped up the crowd in a 'Political Forum' While it's good to see Mark Dayton has crawled out from his concrete bunker to make a public appearance, the whole idea of a "Political Forum" during a public employee union meeting, featuring a shameless hack like Garrison Keillor, is a little depressing. Remember, these are the people taking your tax dollars, demanding more and more every year, so they can turn around and give millions to John Kerry's campaign. Who knows how much more of your money they spent on Bob Woodward's and Garrison Keillor's speaking fees. Good citizens, these are the people teaching your kids! At least they will be on Monday. Remember, they have today off too. Labels: Education, Politics-National (02-04)
First Thing I'm Gonna Need Is A Driver...
I had an enjoyable if all too brief lunch on Thursday with my nautically inclined Northern Alliance colleague Cap'n Ed. And, after much begging, pleading, and cajoling on his part, I have finally agreed to judge this week's Caption Contest. Muh-wah-hahahahahahahahahaha! Eggsellent. I am in charge around here. I will be the supreme arbitrator. I am the judge, jury, and executioner. I alone will separate the wheat from the chafe. All those who wish to curry my favor, must bow down before me. I am your Messiah now. So get your entries in now so that they be subjected to the withering righteousness of my judgment. Keep 'em short, pithy, and to the point. Quality people, not quantity.
Rocket To The Crypt
Rick is preparing for a test launch: This weekend I will be flying The Hindrocket; a 52" tall, 10 lb replica of John Hinderaker's Power Line Icon to an altitude of almost a half mile. I imagine that even the Wonkette would be impressed by that rocket. Check out the details here. There are unconfirmed reports that, in response to Rick's latest provocation, work has been stepped up on a rival missile project, also dedicated to a well-known figure in the blogosphere. Up to this point however, all previous tests of the Silver Sentinel have been miserable failures, as the rockets have veered off course shortly after launch and crashed into trees.
Sartorial Separated At Birth?
Blog celebrity John The Rocketman Hinderocker...(that's our man on the right) And game show celebrity Gene Rayburn?
Friends of Democracy
Daniel Henninger has an update on the latest Spirit of America activities in Iraq: Hope is justified, despite all one has seen and read about Iraq. Hope is justified because of the many Iraqis unseen and unwritten about. Jim Hake and his colleagues at Spirit of America have been working with these Iraqis since April. They have a new project, whose name, Friends of Democracy, was created by Iraqis who want to prepare their country for the idea and practice of democracy in the three month run-up to their January elections.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Real Lives of Country Folk
Sometimes reading Cathy in the Wright is like watching sausage get made. As a committed carnivore I say that in the best possible sense. That's our Cathy, reminding us what the "red" means in Red State.
Vocabulary Separated At Birth?
Your typical fourteen year old girl and... Presidential candidate John Kerry: Kerry returned after a two-hour hunting trip wearing a camouflage jacket and carrying a 12-gauge shotgun, but someone else carried the bird he said he shot. "I'm too lazy," Kerry joked. "I'm still giddy over the Red Sox. It was hard to focus." Giddy? Giddy? Not exactly the word that most men would use when emerging from a duck blind now is it? No man that I know at least. How much effort or focus is required to carry a dead goose anyway? Radio Blogger has more on Kerry's goose hunt. Fraters Libertas: All waterfowl talk, all the time.
A Message From The Taxpayers' League
From the desk of David Strom: Here is a shot of a bumper sticker we will begin distributing next week. It would be wonderful if they popped up on cars around the Twin Cities during the last week of the campaign. 
Send requests to Markg@taxpayersleague.org with name, address, e-mail, etc. and you too can have your very own Star Tribune bias "Mr Yuck" bumper sticker. Let's get these out there (the physical ones will probably be available Tuesday, they are being printed now).
It Ain't Rocket Science
The crew at Icerocket.com have introduced a new search option that allows to focus your research efforts on blogs only.
Never Underestimate The Power Of The Curse
Okay, Red Sox fans...knock it off! Your team hasn't won diddley-squat yet. Sure, they beat the Yankees, but allow me to point out that the AL pennant does not come attached to the World Series trophy. You can burn Beantown to the ground for all I care after the Sox win four more games this year but, until then, act like you've been there before. I know seeing the Red Sox in the Series is as rare as a blue moon on the eighth Tuesday of March, but please, for everyones sake, give decorum a try...and then give it a rest. And would someone please tell that chucklehead Johnny Damon to get a flippin' haircut fer Chrissakes! The Elder Adds: I am now being deluged with e-mails from Red Sox fans chastising me for ever doubting their team. It's interesting to note that I received ZERO e-mails of this sort before the score was 8-1 last night and the outcome was no longer in doubt. Yes, they're a confident, happy group of fans. AFTER their team has won. C'mon Red Sox boosters. Guarantee that your team is going to win the World Series and break The Curse once and for all. I dare you.
Tomorrow night, the Northern Alliance Radio Network will once again be filling in for Hugh Hewitt on his nationally syndicated talk radio show. We'll be honoring Hugh's format and trying to stick to the same subjects that have made his show what it is. Expect lots of NASCAR, ice skating, snowmobiling, and USC football talk.
UPDATE: Saint Paul, the maven of the mallards, has just informed me that he wishes the third hour of Hugh's show tomorrow to be set aside for nothing but duck talk. Labels: NARN (04-05)
Ducks' Unlimited Arrogance
There's a lot to admire about ducks. They can fly and swim and waddle around on land. A triple threat of locomotion, unmatched by any other species on Earth. Which is probably what gives them their zest for life. If you ever spend some time watching ducks, the conclusion you come to is, they're having a great time, ALL the time (which, come to think of it, is also the motto of Spinal Tap's keyboard player Viv Savage). In Minnesota you see a lot of ducks in the fall. Flying in formation, circling about, all of them cheerily quacking away. Driving into work today on Hwy 36, there were ducks everywhere. Naturally, I was inspired by nature's majesty and pleased to see these happy creatures. Pleased to see any sentient being actually happy to be alive during a midweek morning commute, actually. But then I realized what these ducks were up to. They're leaving. The brisk north wind these past few days brought the first rumors of winter and just like that, they're bailing out on us. These ducks are off on a six month vacation in some balmy southern clime. And they're laughing it up, without so much as an empathetic squawk for us left behind to face January's shivers alone. They're like flying rats leaving the sinking ship. And they're happy about it. Those bastards! Over the next few weeks you Minnesotans may wish to pause and listen to the next flush of ducks that passes overhead. Amid the excited quacking and flapping, I swear you'll hear the faint taunt of "so long suckers."
No, I do not know what shaden-frawde is
But Michael Nelson clearly does. You get the feeling that he enjoyed last night's game? Maybe a little bit too much...
Two Down, 50 Million To Go
In just under two weeks, citizens nationwide will be flocking to the polls in droves battling long lines, irritable election judges and litigious lawyer types milling about waiting for the chance to spew their bilious nonsense about the plight of the disenfranchised voter to nearest dimwitted television crew. Not me, friends. I'm out. I have decided here and now that I will not be casting a vote on November 2. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it all. I can't stand any more backbiting and sniping and the "He said this!" baloney countered by "He did that!" malarkey. I just don't think I have it in my constitution to drag myself to the polls a week from Tuesday and contribute to this ridiculous mess, so count me out. Instead of putting myself through the torture of another election day nightmare, I have decided to spend election week relaxing in California's wine country with the lovely Atomizerette for...no reason in particular. We're going there to relax and just be. But, if I happen to come across a television screen on November 2nd, I may just give it a casual glance. If I stumble across an internet cafe or library, I might just log on to...you know...check my mail. And if the laptop computer and Walkman (with TV band) just happen to find their way into my suitcase, I may fire them up for a minute or two, just for kicks. And if I happen to walk by the kitchen table tomorrow morning, I just might remember to pick up the absentee ballots my lovely bride-to-be and I just completed and deliver them to City Hall on my way to work. Yeah...I just might do that.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
An Issue That Hugh Can Really Wrap His Sled Around
From the Republican Party of Minnesota web site: Yesterday during a campaign stop in Hibbing, John Kerry's running mate, John Edwards stated that he supports allowing snowmobiles in national parks and national forests. Yet according to his own website, John Kerry would reinstate the "Clinton Administration's phase-out of noisy and direct snowmobiles" from national parks and "other sensitive areas." Republican Party of Minnesota State Chair Ron Eibensteiner issued the following statement regarding the Kerry campaign's latest flip-flop. "John Kerry has been on both sides of just about every issue that is important to the people of Minnesota. "Yesterday Kerry's running mate told northern Minnesota voters that he supports snowmobiles in national parks. Yet, the Kerry Campaign's own website says that Kerry would reinstate Bill Clinton's ban of snowmobiles in national parks. "John Kerry will say anything to get elected." I was for the snowmobile ban before I was against it?
Is It Really Over?
Does it get any better than a brisk stroll on a crisp autumn night, listening to playoff baseball on the radio? I think not. Temps in the 50's, no wind, and just a hint of moisture in the air. The kind of night that makes you regret having to ever go back inside. When I turned onto the last leg of my walk and went into the home stretch (right about that time that Johnny Damon's grand slam was clearing the right field wall) I noticed a strange glow in the northwest quadrant of the horizon. At first I thought I was witnessing a display of the aurora borealis. Upon further reflection, I understood that what I was seeing was the gleam from King's smile. All the way from St. Cloud, his unbridled joy was (and still is) lighting up the night sky. And he has good reason to be happy. 6-0 for his BoSox. It is truly over. Isn't it? UPDATE: Now 6-1. But still, it's over right? UPDATE II: 8-1 after six. I'm gonna go out on a limb and call this one for the Sox. See you in the World Series.
New Digs
Check out the new look and feel of DoctorZin's Regime Change Iran site. And if you get a chance, catch the good doctor, along with Roger L Simon and Dan Darling, on the John Batchelor Show tonight at 10:20pm CST. For a list of station go here. Catch the show via internet streaming here
Another One To Take To The Grave
Memo to the Red Sox Nation: You know that there is not a chance in hell that your beloved Sox are going to win tonight, don't you? You understand that their gutty three game rally is merely setting the stage for another heart-wrenching failure, right? It's understood that by the end of the night you'll once again be sobbing in your beer and talking about next year, isn't it? And yet, you can't turn away can you? You're going to let them tear your guts out and stomp all over them once again aren't you? You're headed for another emotional track wreck, but you can't pull the brake. Likes moths to the flame, you're irresistibly drawn to your own doom. And in some sick way, I think that you actually derive some perverse pleasure by your suffering. You claim that you want to win, but in your hearts you know that you're destined to lose. And you like it. God only knows what excruciating fate awaits your squad tonight. If you were lucky, the Yanks would blow you out of the park early on, mercifully crushing your hopes. But given your history, we all know that won't happen. No, your loss will not be easy. It will be painful. Full of "could'ves" and "should'ves" that will haunt your memories for years. As a Twins fan, I can't relate to your situation. Even though we've had a few years or frustrating playoff performances of late, we have won the World Series a couple of times in the modern era. Eighty-six years is a long time to wait isn't it? But I will most definitely be tuning in to watch the drama unfold tonight. There is no doubt as to the final outcome, only how it will be arrived at. I'm sure there will be a bizarre plot twist or two, and I can only hope that one of them involves ex-Twin Doug "There's No Team In Mientkiewicz No Matter How Long You Look" Mientkiewicz having a Bill Buckner moment at first base. That would be a wicked pissah now, wouldn't it?
Another Purple Hooter, Dukakis?
New Nelson. But Democrats beware, it uses the name of patron saint Willie Horton in vain. Read at your own risk.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Something Wicked This Way Comes
Yet another reason that being a swing state ain't all that it's cracked up to be. From MoveOn.org: When your grandchildren ask where you were for the election of 2004, answer proudly -- the front lines! This historic election will be won or lost in the last 72 hours, in a few battleground neighborhoods. If you can spend a few days on the road, please come join us as we get out the vote in these critical areas. It's fun work -- MoveOn members tend to hit it off -- and it could make all the difference on November 2nd. Can you travel to a battleground state for the final 72 hours of this campaign plus Election Day, or the final weekend, or even just November 2nd? We'll make it easy for you to effectively connect with our work on the ground. God knows there aren't enough loony lefties in Minnesota as it is. Now we're importing them. Remember, they're going to be out there folks. Are you?
Letters to the Blogger
Reader feedback from this past week in posting. Tom adds his commentary on why supposedly nonpartisan newspapers feel the need to make endorsements of political candidates: Your take on editorial endorsements reminded me of something your Patriot colleague Michael Medved had said regarding public funding of the arts and broadcasting (like PBS or NPR). (I'm very liberally paraphrasing here, so you might want to chat up Medved in the Patriot's locker room sauna regarding this issue.) The "artists" would often claim that taxpayer support was minimal. When Medved would ask if they could do without the support, the artists would say that the support wasn't so much necessary as the funding implied that they were the arbiters of what was art and what wasn't. They were providing official public sanction that the crass private sector and uninformed proletariat could not. I would submit that the Strib editorial board and the media in general see themselves in the same light. They give the endorsement as a way of being the official arbiter of what is good policy for "the masses". Rush Limbaugh used to end his Friday programs with the admonition "not to worry about the news over the weekend - he'd be back on Monday to tell you what happened and what to think about it. It would set the unbiased dominant media culture off on a tirade against right wing hate radio and the dim bulbs who were led about by the nose ring listening to it. But I would argue that editorial endorsements are really no different than telling Joe Sixpack or Sally Stenopool (read Lori Sturdevant and tell me she doesn't think of "working people" that way) what to think. Since they are sanctioned to do so (at least in their own minds) by their role as the establishment media, telling the people what to think is acceptable (to them). Also, Dan writes in to tell us what he thinks is acceptable in male friendship behavior: Regarding the Warrior Princess comments of a few days ago: "I don't want female friendships to deteriorate to where the majority of men's friendships operate; where to prove to strangers they are heterosexuals all men can talk about is sports, women and beer."Sorry, but it's not a front for strangers. That's all men talk about, because that's all men care about (although I'd add in cars and power tools, as well). The only stupid thing I can think of that (some) men do to prove they're not homosexuals is to sit apart from one another when they go to a movie together. Dan is quite correct. For the record, let me state that on Friday night, the Nihilist in Golf Pants and I went to see Team America, World Police at Willow Creek and we did not feel it necessary to leave a neutral zone of theater seat between us. However, our arms never utilized the common arm rest at the same time. Because that would be fruity.
You're Not The Boss Of Me
Reporters suspended for attending Springsteen concert The St. Paul Pioneer Press suspended two reporters for attending the recent "Vote for Change" political fundraising concert and now faces a union grievance. Several newspapers around the country had asked staff members not to attend the series of concerts held in Minnesota and other "battleground" states earlier this month. That's because ticket sales benefited an affiliate of the liberal group MoveOn, which would compromise the politically neutral stance expected of journalists. [spit take] However, the Pioneer Press appears to be the only newspaper to suspend reporters for going. "Well, maybe at other papers, people went along with what their bosses said," editor Vicki Gowler said Monday. Reporters Chuck Laszewski and Rick Linsk, both members of the paper's investigative team, were suspended for three days each after editors learned that they had attended the Oct. 5 concert featuring Bruce Springsteen and R.E.M at Xcel Energy Center. Maybe I'm way off base here, but isn't this going just a bit far? Yes, "Vote for Change" was a political event. And yes, reporters are duty bound to maintain their "political neutrality" (snicker). But c'mon, it's a concert. Do you really believe that just because Laszewski and Linsk were grooving to Springsteen and Stipe they are now tainted with bias? Most readers will make judgments on the integrity and objectivity of journalists based on what they write, not on what concerts they attend. Besides all these ethics rules really do is give journalists ammo to disclaim any bias on their part, as Nick Coleman did when he crowed that he didn't have political signs in his yard and hadn't given money to candidates. Coleman used his adherence to the ethics rules as proof that he was political neutral. Just because you're not allowed to openly display your biases does not mean that they don't exist, as anyone who's read Coleman's columns can attest to. I for one would much rather have journalists be open about what their true beliefs are, rather than hiding behind the facade of journalistic ethics. You disclose, we decide.
We Don't Need No Education
Craig Westover spoke truth to power last night in St. Paul. And was politely ignored. He has a rather brilliant proposal for allowing lower income citizens greater access to K-12 education options. He calls it the Universal Tuition Tax Credit. The education establishment dismisses it as a "voucher scheme." That is, when they even have to acknowledge its existence in the first place. Last night in St. Paul, MPR held a forum with the superintendents of schools for Minneapolis and St. Paul and the State Education Commissioner to talk about what they refer to as "Minnesota's education achievement gap". According to Westover, the results were "painful": "Institutional racism" was a frequently flayed whipping boy. So was the more relevant lack of opportunity for children of color, which could be solved by providing more funding for public education, not "voucher schemes." Westover's Tuition Tax Credit suggestions were misdirected and then ignored: [MPR's Keri] Miller shuffled the suggestion to [St. Paul Superintendent] Pat Harvey, who ignored that I was talking about K-12 school choice and started talking about higher education. When I corrected her, she thanked me for setting the record straight, but nonetheless finished up her thought. Miller didn't purse the topic with either Superintendent Peebles or Commissioner Seagren -- even though a tuition tax credit is state issue. His summary of this education forum, featuring the government appointed education leadership: There is no polite way to say it -- there simply was no educational leadership present on the Penumbra Theatre stage last night. I'm sure the two superintendents are able administrators, but when it came to education reform, they both opted for higher level clichés, the need for more "emphasis" (read "funding") for education and support for the notion that the system just needs some tweaking rather than admit or suggest any systemic changes. This is the second time I've seen Commissioner Seagren speak, and both times I sensed she was working harder at not being former Commissioner Yecki than she was at setting any kind of an education agenda. My opinion is that the public education system is a train wreck. Vast amounts of money spent on a malfunctioning system. Annual increases demanded every year to fix it, by a hyper-politicized elite who have no understanding of, or motivation to understand, the need for reform. Since I don't have any kids mixed up in it, I try to ignore it and support whoever is proposing the slowest rate of its growth (because unfortunately, nobody is supporting cuts). Westover reminds us that this very attitude may be at least partially to blame for the problem: Education is a public good, and we all have a vested interest in it, which unfortunately many without children in public schools, don't recognize. Consequently, public education is left in the hands of people more interested in preserving the process that actually improving education. Convincing as that is, I'm still not prepared to hit the picket lines out in front of the St. Paul School Board. Their power is too great, too entrenched for the average citizen to do anything about it. Especially a citizen without a direct stake in the system. But under Westover's tax credit proposal, I'd have direct control over how some of my tax dollars were allocated toward education. And you can be damn sure I'd excercise that control in a manner contrary to the agenda of the politicians and teachers union proxies in St. Paul. Which tells you exactly why Westover's proposal was ignored by the politicians and teachers union proxies on stage at the education forum last night.
Monday, October 18, 2004
Smiles, everyone...smiles!
Kevin from Cadet Happy gives us his fantasy version of John Kerry's Plan. You do know that he has a plan, don't you?
In the Future Everyone Will Look Like Johnny Damon for 15 Minutes
Henry sends in this Separated at Birth inquiry: Boston death cult center fielder Johnny Damon. and ... California death cult leader Charlie Manson? If you'd like to see more people whom common paternity is alleged with Johnny Damon, check out the October 16, 2003 entry from the Separated at Birth archives.
The Grand Old Party Is Having A Grand Old Time
ABC News: 'Primetime Live' Poll: More Republicans Satisfied With Sex Lives Than Democrats: American Sex Lives 2004, a new "Primetime Live" sex poll conducted in conjunction with the ABC News Polling Unit, is among the most comprehensive surveys of its kind in decades and establishes a new, detailed picture of sex attitudes and behavior in America today. The full results of this wide-ranging sex poll will be presented during a live, hourlong "Primetime Live" event airing Thursday, Oct. 21 (10-11 p.m. ET) on the ABC Television Network. The poll analysis includes a breakdown by many subgroups, including region, age and even political party affiliation, which is the topic of results released today: Of those involved in a committed relationship, who is very satisfied with their relationship? Republicans - 87 percent; Democrats - 76 percent Who is very satisfied with their sex life? Republicans - 56 percent; Democrats - 47 percent The poll analysis also reveals who has worn something sexy to enhance their sex life: Republicans - 72 percent; Democrats - 62 percent When asked whether they had ever faked an orgasm, more Democrats (33 percent) than Republicans (26 percent) said they had. This really should not come as that much of a surprise. Are most Democrats satisfied and happy about any aspect of their lives? I'm sure that this lack of sexual satisfaction is somehow all George W. Bush's fault of course. Who can concentrate on sex with that unilateral cowboy in office? If only John F. Kerry was president. The world would love us, the crippled would walk, and frigid, frustrated lefty dames would be enjoying multiple orgasms. Hat Tip: My wife. My very Republican wife.
On Sunday the Star Tribune came out with their endorsement for President. No need to tell you who it is, you won't be surprised. What is surprising is the teeth grinding, seething rhetoric used to state their points. It is at the embarrassing level of a City Pages/Steve Perry editorial, where professional standards and the need to persuade are sublimated to wounded ego gratification and left wing one upsmanship. It also reminds me of, dare I say, a blog. At least the kind of blog where immaturity, a nurtured narrow perspective, and high emotions combined with immediate publishing access results in prose the author will be embarrassed about when he finally grows up, if not the morning after.
Check out these excerpts and remember, this is the institutional voice of the dominant newspaper in this market: Kerry recognizes that to prevail in the struggle against terrorism, America must return to the moral high ground rather than unilaterally pursue a perverted, narrow vision of its national interest. [Bush] has proved to be the most divisive, insular and partisan president since Richard Nixon. He ran as a moderate, but has pursued radical goals that have plunged the nation into debt and injected the government into the most personal of family matters. He promised to conduct foreign policy humbly, yet he repeatedly spurned allies, culminating in his arrogant and misguided rush to war on Iraq. The Star Tribune, the product of the finest professional journalists in town, our hometown press advocate, goes on to endorse the notion that George W. Bush is responsible for the 9/11 attacks: Indeed, his preoccupation with Iraq and missile defense in early 2001 seems to have prevented him from recognizing the growing dangers of Al-Qaida -- despite the urgent warnings of his own counterterrorism expert. Bitter, partisan rhetoric, deliberately misleading the reader, saying anything they can to influence Minnesota voters to vote against the Republican candidate for president. Last week, I mentioned that there is no more alienating experience for select segments of a newspaper's readership than the official institutional judgment on who we should be voting for. Given the disenchantment engendered, and the suspicion of bias permanently planted in these readers' minds (the firewall be damned), I have to wonder why the Star Tribune, or any newspaper editorial board bothers to endorse candidates in the first place. Last Monday, Pioneer Press editor Art Coulson wrote a column called "Why the Pioneer Press Endorses" (not available online). He states: The endorsement is not designed to tell you how to vote. It is merely our preference as an institution, a look at how the Pioneer Press might vote were it to enter the polling booth on Nov. 2. An argument I find to be ridiculous. If they truly didn't want to influence voting behavior, they could skip the winners and losers aspect entirely and just print fact based articles based on their reporting and candidate interviews. But doing that removes the privileged status the press grants themselves as the preeminent source of local political knowledge and wisdom. And since they believe they possess these qualities, it's only natural for them to want to use this power to serve their desires. It's not easy to influence anything sticking to factual reporting. And make no mistake about it, influence is what they're attempting with endorsements. I was able to find Coulson's defense of the endorsement process from 2003 (which is online), where he states: I have no doubt that just as many voters carry our endorsements into the booth and vote the opposite way as follow our recommendations. That's great. I think Coulson's statement also reveals the component ego plays in the tradition of newspaper endorsements. The editorial board members fancy themselves immersed in thinking important thoughts of matters political every day of their lives. They've convinced themselves they are THE experts and it is their obligation to lead the willing sheep to the truth. Coulson admits as much (from his 2004 explanation): We also know that many readers don't have a lot of time to meet personally with candidates, to wade through the campaign literature, to attend forums and debates. We have a chance to ask candidates tough questions and to gauge their responses. We see ourselves as another set of eyes and ears for the time-pressed readers. Their assumption being that the citizenry simply doesn't have time to adequately inform themselves about something so apparently inconsequential to their lives as an election. According to this logic, the people don't even have time to read a detailed article, running down the facts of a certain race. Therefore an official endorsement, listing the specific name of the superior candidate, is critical in the process. But remember, they're not telling anyone who to vote for. More absurd yet is that that newspapers consider themselves a primary source of direction not just for the major races. They deign to tell us who to vote for in all races. The Pioneer Press announced they've invited 221 candidates to be interviewed. They're planning on running endorsements on he Op/Ed page every day until the end of the month, on more than 50 different races, from US Senate to State legislative races to judicial races to municipal elections and school board races - in both Minnesota and Wisconsin. And realize, the editorial board members have never lived in the overwhelming majority of these communities. They don't have any direct stake in the outcomes. Yet they find it entirely necessary and proper to tell the voters in those communities who they should vote for. I suspect (hope) the truth is that the newspapers' power to affect voting behavior is more limited than Coulson realizes. I would imagine most modern newspaper consumers are politically conscious enough to have their minds made up in advance of the candidate coronation ceremony by the editorial boards. The liberals will largely agree with the paper's choices, the conservatives will disagree. Those looking for guidance by editorial writers number too few to make any difference in an election. So, the only consequences of these endosements are a growing segement of alienated readers and the enhancement of editorial board members' egos. Unfortunately, something tells me that's enough reason for the Star Tribune to continue the practice indefinitely. Labels: Media-Local (02-04)
I Believed The Hype
When Arnold Schwarzenegger was running for Governor in the California recall election last spring, there was great promotion by many prominent voices on the right, hailing the benefits of this man winning while branded a Republican. To me, the greatest benefit was to use his celebrity and big tent cachet to aid George W. Bush in the presidential election. At the very least, I envisioned Arnold showing up in battle ground states telling the terrorists its "Hasta la vista, baby" for them if George W. is re-elected. Or heading to South Dakota three times a week to call Tom Daschle a Girlie Man for crying on Meet the Press. At the most, Arnold could put California in play for the Republicans, give Barbara Boxer a scare, and make the Democrats fight for that state's treasure trove of 55 blessed electoral votes. Well, it didn't happen. None of it. It seems the only role Arnold is playing this election season is The Invisible Man. California is securely locked down for the Democrats on all fronts, with nary a peep from the Governator. Perhaps George Will's warning from March 2003 bears repeating: Republicans, who lost every statewide race last November, might pay a steep price for the fun of dumping Davis. President Bush's chances of carrying California in November 2004, and Republican chances of defeating the hyperliberal Sen. Barbara Boxer, might be better if Californians nurture their anti-Davis grievances for two full years. And since the GOP convention, Arnold hasn't done squat for Bush in terms of campaigning around the country. Where's Arnold? Man among monkeys, James Phillips, has more on this story.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Ringing Endorsements?
Last night, we celebrated Atomizer's pending nuptials with a bachelor party. As tradition dictates, details from said festivities will not be the subject of public discussion. Let's just say that I don't think Atomizer will be welcome at Nye's anytime soon. This morning, as we nursed our hangovers at a safe house in an undisclosed location, we eased our pain with laughter. Laughter brought about by reading the predictable endorsements of John Kerry by the The New York Times and The Minneapolis Star Tribune. Both editorials are lengthy rants, more concerned with bashing George W. Bush than praising John Kerry. The Times piece is twenty-three paragraphs long consisting of 1694 words, with four, maybe five paragraphs and 342 words on Kerry. The Strib devotes eighteen paragraphs and 1149 words to their endorsement, with five paragraphs and 387 words for Kerry. Neither is about supporting Kerry as much as attacking Bush. They both are chock full of DNC talking points and baseless assertions. They also contain similar language in a few instances. Compare their notes on Bush. NYT: Instead, he turned the government over to the radical right. Strib: He ran as a moderate, but has pursued radical goals... NYT: He sold the war to the American people... Strib: He sold the war on Iraq... NYT: ..a Nixonian obsession with secrecy.. Strib: Bush has governed with mendacity and secrecy at home... and He has proved to be the most divisive, insular and partisan president since Richard Nixon. But when it comes to the invasion of Afghanistan, even the Times won't embrace the incredible attempt to rewrite history that the Strib indulges in: NYT: Along with the invasion of Afghanistan, which had near unanimous international and domestic support... Strib: Though the Sept. 11 attacks brought an immediate outpouring of heartfelt sympathy and offers of help from abroad, Bush attacked the Taliban in Afghanistan on his own terms, virtually alone. The choice of words in both editorials is also indicative of their vindictive nature. The Times favors the use of the word "installed" rather than appointed, since it has a more ominous sound: Mr. Bush installed John Ashcroft... and the ideologues and industry lobbyists Mr. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney had installed... Here are some other choice cuts from the Times: disastrous tenure, a far-reaching anti-choice agenda, obsession with Saddam Hussein, radical goals, specific fears The Strib is even more over the top with pejorative terms: devious dismantling, profoundly failed, dangerous departure, dangerous unilateralism, pattern of deception and secrecy Not surprisingly, neither paper saw fit to devote similar linguistic efforts in explaining their preference for Kerry, as both offer up nothing but platitudes for their choice for President (this despite that Times' claim that "we enthusiastically endorse John Kerry"). It would have much easier, although not nearly as humorous, if the two bastions of liberal thought we have limited their editorials to three words that succinctly express their true feelings: "Anybody but Bush."
Pouring Gas On The Fire
David is angry. If you're a liberal, that last thing you want to do is make this guy mad. You won't like him when he's mad.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Brave Sir Mark
Cathy in the Wright has a list of possible slogans for Mark Dayton: "Flee when you see the whites of their eyes." "We few, we happy few, we band of runners." "I shall return...when it's safe." Read the whole list and feel free to add your own.
Integrity Is As Integrity Does
Separated at Birth? John Kerry, recalling his mother's deathbed advice: And she looked at me from her hospital bed and she just looked at me and she said, "Remember, integrity, integrity, integrity." Those are the three words that she left me. And ... Marty Feldman as Igor in Young Frankenstein, recalling his father's advice: Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein : What did he say? Igor : "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"
Friday, October 15, 2004
No in Co
To find out more about a truly awful amendment under consideration this November, check out NO ON 36 Preserve Colorado's Presidential Voice - Coloradoans Against a Really Stupid Idea. The name says it all.
The Stages of Mark Dayton
The reaction to Senator Mark Dayton skonkering off from his DC offices continues: Over much of the political landscape in Washington on Wednesday, Dayton's move was met with bipartisan derision, concern, and in some cases, laughter. Those of us who have already experienced the weird, wacky world of Senator Dayton are intimately familiar with these responses. 1. Derision- Your first reaction to the befuddled babbler is to mock his incoherent ramblings. At times it's like shooting fish in a barrel, but it's too much fun to pass up. 2. Concern- Then you realize how frighteningly incompetent Dayton truly is. This man is a United States Senator? 3. Laughter- At last, you come to accept that disturbing fact that Dayton will be around for two more years barring a complete breakdown. All you can do is sit back and enjoy the bizarre spectacle. Meanwhile, the unbalanced one sees himself as a profile in courage: Dayton said that he expected his decision to be questioned, but that he feels other senators, most of whom have left Washington for an election recess, are asking their staffs to take a risk that they are not taking themselves. "If I didn't have the courage of my convictions, I don't belong here" in the Senate, he said. He bravely ran away.
There's a Parable in Here Somewhere
The Warrior Princess was missing from Wednesday night's debate party at the Hilton. She's submitted her reasons and she'll be glad to hear we're considering it an excused absence. My friend Kim and I were all set and ready to head downtown and join the Patriot throng for what sounded like a rousing event Wed night. Kim was massively excited about getting a break from being a mom and getting to do something political for a night, so when we got a call from Kim's mother-in-law that her youngest son Kobe (not named after the basketball player) looked like he dislocated his arm we were both disappointed. Her husband was busy meeting with kids at the church, and I didn't want her to go alone, so I decided to forgo the debate party and join her in the trek to the after hours clinic. Little Kobe is just a year and a half old, and the poor thing couldn't move his arm at all. He didn't appear to be in too much pain, but being that the arm he couldn't move was his thumb sucking arm, it posed some problems. I had 2 jobs at the clinic. Number one job was providing distraction for Kobe. That meant lots of making faces, turning the pages of children's books, and talking in baby talk. My second job was the coveted position of hold the screaming kid's jacked up arm in the correct position so they can take an x-ray. Being that I was on the verge of tears when Kobe was being really brave and not crying, the emotional restraint required to keep my composure when he was screaming bloody murder and I was the perpetrator moving his arm kept me inches from joining him as a second blubbering child Kim would have to comfort. Kim and I were making small talk with the X-ray technician when the technician turned and asked me (in a voice like she was delivering a cheesypick up line), "so are you a 'Special Aunt'?" After I picked my jaw up the floor I had to try to think of an answer that somehow conveyed I was a close family friend, but NOT a lesbian life partner. The best I could come up with was, "No, I'm a friend FROM CHURCH." Kim either didn't get the reference, or was much cooler about brushing it off than I was. There was so much commotion last night I never got a chance to ask her. Here's what I want to know. When did it become impossible for two women to so much as walk in a room together without people questioning if they are lesbians? Why wasn't the assumption that I was helping out a friend while her husband was unavailable instead of the wink-wink nod-nod "special aunt"comment? This isn't the first time I've had someone question me and a friend I happen to be with, either by words or by a visual frisk. And I would be more than happy to chalk it up to some lesbian vibe I throw off if it wasn't for the fact that several of my friends have had similar experiences. Like most of my friends who end up dealing with this more often than we'd like, I'm single, mid-twenties, content, have a number of close female friends, and don't look like a goat. This does not mean I am attracted to women. What ten years ago would be chalked up to a normal female friendship is now assumed by the general public to be a homosexual relationship. This is a problem. A 12-year-old girl shouldn't wonder whether she is a lesbian because she really likes her best friend. Two widowers should be able to share a house together without having the whole neighborhood assuming they are lesbians. I don't want female friendships to deteriorate to where the majority of men's friendships operate; where to prove to strangers they are heterosexuals all men can talk about is sports, women and beer. I don't want friendship being sexualized for the advancement of the homosexual lobby. Life and love are about a whole lot more than sex. It shouldn't be necessary for real friendship to exist in a vacuum because the general public chooses to impute eros instead of assuming philia. Kobe is doing fine. His arm is fully functioning with just an ace bandage and he can once again suck his thumb. I'm sad I missed the debate, and the party, but I'm not sorry I chose to be of help to my friend and her son. I just hope next time I can do so without the suggestion that I am participating in a lifestyle I am morally opposed to. That's our Warrior Princess. She eschews the earthly pleasures of The Patriot Debate Party in order to assist a suffering child and his distressed mother. And for her actions, GETS BRANDED A SODOMITE! I guess that's the cross she must bear for doing the right thing. And a small price to pay for little Kobe's recovery.
Plato's Retreat
Former St. Paul Pioneer Press music writer, now alternative press exile, Jim Walsh reviews the Vote For Change tour which rolled through town last week. Excerpt: ...Springsteen was the picture of a free man; a formerly self-censored major-label artist unleashed. At one point he held a "Bush Must Go" sign and theatrically berated an actor playing a Boogie Boy-styled "Republican," hilariously encouraging the crowd to chant, "Halliburton, Halliburton, Halliburton." His and the other artists' between-song comments never approached preaching, though, even when Springsteen peppered his gospel-rap with, "I want to be drenched in the waters of democracy!" Not preaching you say? I guess statements like "Bush Must Go" and partisan "gospel-rapping" don't come off as preaching. As long as you're already among the converted. ... the most penetrating statement of the night came from a Springsteen interview that played on the arena video screen. "It's pretty simple to me," he said. "If you send young people to fight and die in a war that is proven there is no good cause for, you lose your job. It's not rocket science. You lose your job." No, that analysis is definitely not rocket science. Whether it's accurate or not is another question. But at the very least we know we can ignore any future pronouncements Springsteen may have on strategic missile defense. Because that is, you know, rocket science. I'm never sure if Springsteen's tortured grammar and simplistic reasoning are affectations, nurtured and sustained for blue collar marketing appeal, or if he does actually lean toward profound ignorance. Either way Victor Davis Hanson's analysis applies: The artists, musicians, and entertainers have also railed against the war. In the therapeutic mindset, the refinement and talent of a Sean Penn, Michael Moore, Al Franken, Bruce Springsteen, or John Fogerty earn respect when they weigh in on matters of state policy. But in the tragic view, they can be little more than puppets of inspiration. Their natural gifts are not necessarily enriched by real education or learning. Indeed, they are just as likely to be high-school or college dropouts and near illiterates, albeit with good memories, voices, and looks. "Near illiterates" - you've got to love VDH. His knowledge of the classics also brings us this warning from antiquity: The present antics of these influential millionaire entertainers should remind us why Plato banished them - worried that we might confuse the inspired creative frenzies of the artisans with some sort of empirical knowledge. But you can no more sing, or write, or act al Qaeda away than the equally sensitive novelists and intellectuals of the 1930s or 1940s could rehabilitate Stalin. If you'd like to read more about the banishment of artists (and who wouldn't?) please refer to Book X of Plato's Republic. Those with Cliffs Notes level attention spans can review these critical summaries. Excerpt: Plato's second objection is that the artist knowingly manipulates the passions of his audience. In a purely rational State, there is no room for the stirring up of "evil constitutions," nor the retelling of misfortunes or misadventures in the past. What lies behind Plato's dislike of maudlin dramas or even great tragedy is his conviction that the audience will identify with and in turn imitate whatever it sees. Or so Bruce Springsteen and Jim Walsh would hope. Vote for Change! indeed. If you're still on the fence about art's vital role in informing the body politic, check out the new exhibit at the Minneapolis Institute of Art. It includes artistic statements like this: A panel of "pants-on-fire" drawings depicts Bush with flames leaping from his trousers, a mushroom cloud sprouting from his head and the word "Lies" emerging from his mouth in a speech bubble. In the middle of a poster showing vultures hovering over rat-infested ruins sits a television on which the president appears saying cheerfully, "My name is George Bush, and I approve this mess." To that I can only respond with Plato's words: Then the imitator, I said, is a long way off the truth, and can do all things because he lightly touches on a small part of them, and that part an image. For example: A painter will paint a cobbler, carpenter, or any other artist, though he knows nothing of their arts; and, if he is a good artist, he may deceive children or simple persons (or Bruce Springsteen - ed.), when he shows them his picture of a carpenter from a distance, and they will fancy that they are looking at a real carpenter.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Fascism Ain't What It Used to Be
City Pages editor and drama queen Steve Perry, on the stakes of this election: On November 2 we won't be voting for anything like the measure of change we deserve the chance to vote for. We will be casting our ballots in a referendum on whether we wish to pause and reconsider our march toward a homegrown American fascism. I think the only benefit of the upcoming American fascism is the disemployment of people like Steve Perry from positions of power. Really, why go through all the trouble of creating a fascist regime if Steve Perry gets to keep his job? Don't tell me we're going to get stuck with fascism AND Steve Perry. It's the worst of both worlds! Per usual, the hyper-conformist, lockstep agreement of City Pages' staff produces several varieties of Perry-like paranoia in this week's issue. And it always amuses me to see editorials/articles like these right next to a full page ad for Camel cigarettes or Twin Cities Saturn. Or this hatchet job on Secretary of State Mary Kiffmeyer, brought to you by the fine folks at Denny Hecker's Auto Connection! Sinclair Broadcasting received heaps of abuse from the media and its advertisers an indignant boycott by the Left for attempting to broadcast testimony from prisoners of war about the effects of John Kerry's antiwar activism on their captivity. I wonder why the City Pages and its advertisers don't ever face a backlash for publishing delusional, defamatory Steve Perry columns every blessed week (or at least every week he's able to make deadline). You can't tell me Denny Hecker agrees with Steve Perry. Because if it's one thing we've learned about socialist revolution, it's bad for business.
The Rising
Great night last night at the Debate Party at the Hilton. An unbelievable turnout, somewhere between 600 - 700 enthusiastic, well-dressed, good-natured partisans showed up. We filled our designated Hilton ballroom before the debate started and they opened up the adjoining room for the overflow. Powerline, Captain Ed, and Mitch Berg summarize the events, as they happened. Powerline's John Hinderaker described the atmosphere as reminiscent of a pro wrestling match. And that is accurate, in the best possible interpretation of that characterization. The cheers, the laughter, the groans, and the boos (and the booze) - it was an absolute blast. Not in a way that someone like John Kerry would appreciate. Last night would have been a little too real for him, a little too close to the way people earning under $200K per year actually celebrate for his comfort level. It was an honest to goodness populist demonstration, with all the emotion and behavior that implies. And for many of those in attendance, including me, a revelation. 700 people showing up on a work night, willing to drive into downtown Minneapolis and pay for parking (a HUGE concession for born suburbanites like me), all for the purpose of demonstrating their conservative political solidarity. What planet are we on? Growing up a conservative in the Twin Cities was an isolating experience. Maybe you had a little cadre of like minded relatives or close friends you could discuss your beliefs with, but that was basically it. If you were a conservative, you never brought up politics in the polite company of strangers or work associates or even friends. And you felt almost embarrassed to admit you listened to the demonized talk radio. The liberals dominated the political culture, dominated the ranks of the political, academic, and media elite, and dominated the ranks of local political activists. To admit to being a conservative was to invite scorn and ridicule from those whose respect you needed or desired. So, for the most part, you shut up and tried not to rock the boat. But those days appear to be gone in Minnesota. The reasons for this could be the subject of a doctoral thesis, which is slightly beyond the scope of a blog post. But I will say the influence of talk radio cannot be underestimated. The first time I got the sense there were others sharing my political beliefs, a lot of others sharing my beliefs, was when Rush Limbaugh came to KSTP. Shortly thereafter, KSTP hired Jason Lewis and he started applying conservative analysis to public policy on the local scene. He got the average person to think critically about these issues in ways we never had before. And he emboldened an entire generation of local conservatives to believe that they didn't have to accept the status quo in Minnesota politics. And they didn't have to be afraid to publicly speak their mind on these issues. Last night was the flowering of the seeds planted all those years ago by the likes of Lewis and Limbaugh. President Bush's taking of Minnesota's 10 electoral votes on Nov. 2 would be yet another beautiful bloom in this garden. But even if he doesn't win this one, there's always next time. With all the networking on display last night - people exchanging business cards and involved in a myriad of initiatives, from radio shows, to blogs, to PACs, to newsletters, to campaign volunteering, to private individuals supporting them all with their dollars - one thing is clear, as a political movement, we're growing. And we're here to stay.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
The social event of the political season takes place tonight at the downtown Minneapolis Hilton. The occasion is the final Presidential debate and AM1280 The Patriot and Wade Financial are good enough to sponsor a free party for all those wishing to enjoy the spectacle in the company of other political sophisticates.
The Hilton is a beautiful facility and it has Wi-Fi. As such, live blogging is encouraged. So if you're in the biz, bring your laptop and join in on what promises to be the Largest Live Gang Blog in World History. Those uncomfortable with the salacious overtones of that title can instead refer to it as the Biggest Circle Journal of All Time. Or the Most Massive Blorgy Since Caligula. I've witnessed smaller exercises in Live Blogging and I must say it's about as compelling as watching Live Checkbook Reconciliation. But never fear, there will be a cash bar for those wishing to utilize their hands for the higher purpose of hoisting drinks instead of furiously tapping away at the keyboard. And that hoisting group will include me. Many of the Northern Alliance Radio Network members will be on hand, including Mitch Berg, Captain Ed (you'll recognize him by his ascot), and King Banaian (look for the guy in the crown and cape). If there are microphones available, perhaps we'll have some Political Science Theater 3000 style commentary (with apologies in advance to Mike Nelson and his team of bitter, vicious copyright lawyers). Tonight, Minneapolis Hilton, 7:30 PM. Be there. For refreshment planning purposes, please leave a message with the Patriot (651-289-4455) and let them know you're coming. We wouldn't want to run out of Funyons and Corn Nuts before John Kerry gets his first chance to redefine his position on Iraq again. Labels: NARN (04-05)
Planes,
Tomorrow, I will be returning to Minneapolis from Amsterdam. Right now I'm in Veenendaal, which is usually about an hour's drive from the Amsterdam Airport Schipol. But we have been warned to expect up to a three hour journey by car tomorrow. For the buses and trains won't be running on time tomorrow in The Netherlands. In fact, they won't be running at all. To protest what they perceive to be unfair budget cuts by the government, the public transit workers are conducting a 24 hour transit strike on Thursday. Nice timing. Let's see. Three hours in a car. Two hours at the airport. Eight hours on a plane. Yeah, tomorrow's gonna just be a regular barrel of laughs ain't it?
With the election fast approaching we are now entering the season of candidate endorsements by the local papers. In my humble opinion, one of the low points of the year for journalism.
Of all the quarrels and quibbles we have with the Star Tribune and Pioneer Press, there's no more alienating event for the readership (specifically the Conservative segment) than reading the official institutional judgment on who we should be voting for. From on high, these self-selected experts on politics decree the right man for the job. And at that moment, every dime you ever spent on that paper's subscription or patronizing its advertisers, feels like icy, bitter self-betrayal. Your local paper, as an institution, wraps it's arms and legs around a candidate you may despise and tells you and the world to vote for him. It doesn't get any more lonely than that for the dissenting news consumer. When the complaints roll in from the Right about bias in endorsements, inevitably someone produces anecdotal evidence on the balance present in these selections. Defenses of how the editorial board picks the right person for the job, regardless of party affiliation. Any perceived bias is, as always, dismissed as a figment of the right wing imagination. But this year, it looks like we have a little science on our side. Peter Swanson from Swanblog got his hands on a data set chronicling the nature of the Star Tribune's endorsements from 1988 - 2000. His conclusion is, you right wingers from Minneapolis have reason to feel alienated by your hometown paper. Excerpt: In addition to endorsing Democrats more frequently than Republicans, the Strib rarely endorses a Republican in a close race. Looking at U.S. House endorsements, almost all of the Republican endorsements are in safe Republican or safe Democrat districts. When considering endorsement in, say, the Third District, the Republican candidate is going to win anyway, so it is safe to endorse him. In districts safe for Democrats, an endorsement of a Republican here or there gives the appearance of being even-handed without risking an effect on the outcome. In short, the Star Tribune attempts to create the illusion of balance, while pursuing their normal ideological goals. As a result, their process of endorsement is more of a game than their honest assessment of what would create an optimal government. If it was the latter, you'd see straight party line endorsements. But that would bring down their aggressively defended facade as fair, objective arbiters of political issues and candidates. So instead you get strategic calculations and artful dodging. Call it what you will, but don't call it news. Or a service to the readers. This week the Pioneer Press began its three week long marathon of providing daily endorsements, for over 50 races, across both Minnesota and Wisconsin. Everything from President down to local school board races receives their final judgment. Reviewing what they have so far, I must say the right wing slide we've seen signs of recently at the PiPress seems to be continuing. Lots of GOP endorsements, for at least these suburban races, a traditional stronghold for Republicans. (It would be interesting to see an analysis of endorsements by incumbent status - which may be driving these decisions more than party affiliation). Even with the refreshing ideological diversity, some troubling themes emerge in their decision making criteria. Specifically, they seem to have a litmus test on a willingness by the candidates to raise taxes. Examples from this weeks' chosen few endorsees. Republican Lloyd Cybart in 37A (Apple Valley/Burnsville): Wisely, he did not sign the Taxpayer League's "no-taxes" pledge, indicating to us that he is willing to consider all options in addressing the state?s budget problems. But we also believe that he would stand firm against tax increases except as a last resort. So it's a sign of "wisdom" to raise taxes. I guess it's encouraging to hear he'd only consider raising taxes only as a "last resort". Republican Dennis Ozment in 37B (Rosemount) Ozment, who also declined to sign the "no-taxes" pledge, is a fiscal conservative who would only back a tax increase as a last resort. He would support an increase in the gas tax if necessary to fund transportation improvements, but wants the distribution formula made fairer for metro-area counties. Another 'last resort' guy. So only after social spending has been zeroed out and grandma has been thrown in the street and infants are left starving in their cribs, then we can consider raising taxes? Now THAT's fiscal conservatism. But for some reason I suspect the Pioneer Press's "last resort" looks a lot like the "first option" when its favored spending initiatives conflict with revenue projections. Republican Mary Liz Holberg in 36A (Lakeville): In the race to represent this fast-growing Lakeville district, incumbent Republican Mary Liz Holberg stands out for her experience, her intimate knowledge of the issues and her willingness to look at the range of options for dealing with the state's ongoing budget challenges. As long as that range of options includes raising taxes, she's cool with the Pioneer Press. Not to mention wise. Democrat Joe Atkins from 39B (Inver Grove Heights) First, he would ensure that state government ran as lean as it could. Then, Atkins said he wouldn't just look at tax increases or spending cuts to plug any budget gaps in the next biennium he would also push the state to look for funding alternatives, including public-private partnerships. No, he wouldn't "just" look at tax increases, he'd look at all sorts of things. Right after he raised some taxes. Democrat Will Morgan from 39A (western Dakota County): Morgan said he would also be open to rolling back state income tax cuts on the wealthiest Minnesotans and would also take a hard look at corporate taxes. We would urge caution here - Minnesota's tax burden is already among the nation's highest. Morgan said that tax increases should be considered only as a last resort. We'd agree. Again with the last resort? Third mention of it. What exactly does that mean to these people? Didn't that particular question ever come up during the interviews conducted by these journalism professionals? Never fear, some enlightenment bleeds out between the lines in this blurb about Duke Powell, the guy they didn't endorse in 40A: While we salute his thriftiness, we fear that strict adherence to the no-taxes pledge could back the Legislature into a corner when it comes to investing in important projects, such as the Central Corridor and a new Twins stadium for St. Paul. There it is - defined! Subsidizing professional sports with hundreds of millions of dollars of the public's money - that's the last resort. Maybe by "resort" they meant this other Merriam Webster definition of the word: "a place providing recreation, especially to vacationers." But, trust them, it's the last one. Except for the new Gopher football stadium. And then the new Vikings stadium. And then, that's it! At least until the Timberwolves start getting squirrelly again about their revenue streams. What's odd about this logic is that I doubt any single individual on the editorial board actually holds that position, tax increases, but only for stadiums. I'm sure the liberal majority is frothing at the mouth to raise taxes, but the last thing on their priority list is a new Twins Stadium. And the conservative(s) would probably agree with the strict adherence to the "no new taxes" pledge. But if some sleazy back room political deal with an obstinate DFL to raise taxes is deemed necessary to get a budget passed next term, the last thing a fiscal conservative could justify is spending an obscene amount of money to subsidize a private business, even if it is in St. Paul. So this endorsement, this expression of the institutional voice, takes the form of an opinion that no one actually holds. Some median point of abstraction, written to satisfy no one, except for perhaps a corporate mission encouraging blind boosterism of St. Paul. I suppose promoting this abstraction is less alienating than cold political calculation. But it still ain't news or a service to the reader. Labels: Media-Local (02-04)
Couldn't Get Away
Check out Doctor Zin's site at Free Republic, Americans for Regime Change in Iran, where you can find daily updates on news out of Iran and the rest of the Middle East. Don't miss the latest on connections between the Kerry campaign and the Iranian regime, which will be expanded upon tomorrow at a news conference featuring reps from the Student Movement Coordinating Committee for Democracy in Iran (SMCCDI), journalist Kenneth Timmerman, and the author of the bestselling "Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry," Dr. Jerome Corsi.
Playing Catch Up
The last week or so has been incredibly busy and I'm struggling to get caught up. You have to start somewhere so here goes. Roy e-mails to provide some background on a key Kerry/Edwards backer: As the VP debate touched on lawyers and tort reform I was wondering if everyone has forgotten Fred Baron. Fred Baron - Dallas trial lawyer and John Edwards' finance chair during the Democratic primaries. Fred Baron - now chairs the DNC victory effort with obvious close ties to Terry McAuliffe. Fred Baron - who once said, and I quote "trial lawyers own the US Senate". Surely the American people would like to know the opinions of Fred Baron, a man who will obviously hold great power in any Kerry/Edwards Whitehouse. Barbara from Golden, CO is looking for a little help: I'm writing to everyone I know asking for help. We adopted our son from Russia in May, and next week is his first birthday. In his orphanage alone, there are 100 babies under the age of 2. In honor of Hunter's first birthday, I asking anyone who can help, to consider donating to "Project Sunshine" which is affiliated with European Adoption Consultants,Inc. You can go to Adoption Agency For International Adoptions and click on the photo for Project Sunshine. They're not equipped to accept online donations, but you can print out the form and mail it in. I'm requesting that donations be designated for Tver Russia. You can also write "Happy Birthday Hunter Paden" anywhere on the form. Or, if you have any family or friends who are struggling with the "blessing" of infertility and they might consider Russia adoption, please direct them to EACI.com, give them my email address or have them call me at home 303-384-0485. Or just say a prayer for the babies. Thanks for your consideration! I know someone at work who has twice traveled to Russia with his wife to adopt children. It is a very worthy cause.
A Hummel In Every House?
It's now official. There's even a web site: Lileks for US Senate If nothing else, the debate between James and Mark Dayton would be one for the ages.
The Lack Of Substance Concerning His Style
Geoffrey e-mails with his impressions of John Kerry: William Weld's article in yesterday's Opinionjournal.com refers to Kerry as "increasingly Kennedyesque," definitively declares him the most "able debater on the political scene today," and concedes, in what could be a line from a Leonard Bernstein musical, "the guy has style." Maybe I'm the only person in America who noticed it, or maybe it was just the town hall nature of the second debate that accentuated it, but I think Kerry, both in appearance and mannerism, is freakish and unnerving. I watched his gangly body shuffle around the room during that debate, his face completely blank and devoid of the occasional hint of accentuation, inflection, or life in his voice, and I thought he looked like some bizarre Edward Gorey cartoon come to life. The man's voice sounded human, but his eyes looked sunken and dead. I found myself feeling uncomfortable just watching him and thought to myself that I would be all the more uncomfortable if I were actually there in his presence. This is the man for whom nearly half the population may vote? This is the man that will encourage nations to join a "grand coalition" in Iraq? Sheesh. What he emits is neither style or deftness, and he certainly isn't Kennedyesque. I don't think that either Bush or Kerry are any where near the most "able" debaters around today, but for goodness sake, at least we know Bush was born of man. And in the second debate, he won on both substance AND style.
You Say Tomato...
Andy from Beaverton has found some "interesting" bills sponsored by John Kerry. Interesting to anyone involved in the condiment industry that is. I did some background research on Kerry from the 107th congress. Did these five Kerry sponsored bills help Heinz Ketchup? S2378 S2379 S2380 S2381 S2382
Separated At Birth?
Stiff, oaken, gnarly candidate for president John Kerry and... slightly less wooden Ent Treebeard? (Ed note: This was submitted by a reader whose name presently eludes me. I apologize for the slight.)
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
As Much Help As They Can Stand
A savvy poliical insider writes in with this interpretation of Mark Dayton's retreat: You're over-thinking the whole Dayton thing. He's just giving his 20+ DC employees the ability to take a paid-leave and come home to campaign for Wetterling & Kerry for the next 3 weeks. That's how the left does these things. It's hard to say how much of Dayton's strange public profile is on account of his staff. But if it's the Mark Dayton magic he's offering Kerry and Wetterling, they may want to start lobbying for his brave, MacArthur-like return to DC as soon as possible.
Senator Dayton Bugs Out
Breaking on Drudge, Mark Dayton closes his Senate office and flees Washington in the face of potential terrorism attacks. In his comments today, he's demonstrably spooked: Asked what advise he would have for Minnesotans who want to travel to Washington over the next few weeks, Dayton said, "I wouldn't advise them to come to Capitol Hill. I would not bring my two sons to the capitol between now and the election." According to reports, he's basing this move on "top secret" intelligence reports, provided to all Senators two weeks ago. Given the fact no other legislators have made similar panicked maneuvers, and the Department of Homeland Security and Capitol Police deny the existence of any new or specific threat, it's hard to interpret what Dayton is up to here. If there are specific, credible threats he's reacting to, why hasn't anyone else taken evasive action. I wonder if he could be breaking some sort of agreed upon code of silence, imposed to avoid unduly worrying the public (or to avoid tipping off the potential perpetrators). The other possibility is that this is Dayton's clumsy attempt to grab some headlines and to score some partisan points in the process. Some of his comments do reflect such a motivation: Dayton issued a written statement that complained of inaction by Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn."On three occasions, I have spoken personally with the majority leader and asked him to convene a meeting of all Senators to discuss this situation. I am dismayed, and perplexed, by his unwillingness to meet with us further about the information, which he initially brought to our attention. In the absence of that further discussion, I have made my own decision about my office, as is my responsibility," Dayton said. It almost sounds as if Dayton is trying to get out in front of any potential terrorist attack that may happen in DC, planting the seeds of the "Frist Knew" theory early and setting himself up as some sort of prescient whistleblower. In the tragic eventuality of an attack, would Dayton's role as a prophet of doom actually score him political points? Is he that cynical to think it would? To reach Senator Dayton for comment, please contact the concrete bunker at his Fort Snelling office.
Salve for the Wounds
Joe Mulder alerts us to his site, The Athletic Reporter, an Onion-like look at the world of sports. With stories like "Dale Earnhardt Jr. to Star in Ghost Dad 2" it's destined to be a regular read. This week he eased the pain of Twins fans everywhere, with this satiric prescription: Bush Adds Yankees to Axis of Evil Joe also proves to be an insightful observer of the sporting scene. His preview of the Twins-Yankees series was right on the money, including this made up quote by Yankees manager Joe Torre . I don't mind too much," said Yankees manager Joe Torre of the Minnesota Twins' plan to compete against the Yankees in the American League Division Series as scheduled. "It's sort of cute, how some of the Twins even think they have a chance to beat us. Why not let them have a chance to pretend they're a real live playoff team, just like us or the Red Sox? Where's the harm in that?" As with all great humor, it's funny because it's true.
Mail 'Em If You Got 'Em
Tonight the Hennepin County (MN) Commissioners will vote on a proposed county-wide smoking ban in bars and restaurants. We encourage those who value liberty and personal responsibility to contact them today and express your views on the proposed ban. Hennepin County Commissioners District 7-Penny Steele Penny.Steele@co.hennepin.mn.us Plymouth, Mound, Corcoran,Maple Grove, Maple Plain. District 6-Linda Kolbick Linda.Koblick@co.hennepin.mn.us Wayzata, Orono, Minnetonka, Hopkins, Excelsior, Edina. District 3-Randy Johnson Randy.Johnson@co.hennepin.mn.us Bloomington, Eden Prairie. District 4-Peter McLaughlin Commissioner.McLaughlin@co.hennepin.mn.us Minneapolis. District 5-Gail Dorfman gail.dorfman@co.hennepin.mn.us St Louis Park District 2-mark Stenglein commissioner.stenglein@co.hennepin.mn.us St Anthony, Medicine Lake. District 1-Mike Opat E-Mail Commissioner.Opat@co.hennepin.mn.us Brooklyn Center & Park, Crystal, New Hope, Robbinsdale. Thanks to Mark W. for the list.
Monday, October 11, 2004
Regarding the New York Times' interpretation of the Australian election, Marcus (the finest sidekick in Twin Cities Saturday morning conservative talk radio) writes in with this analysis:
Thanks for pointing out the coverage, or lack thereof, of the massive Howard victory. I'm sure if he had been defeated, we would have been reading front-page stories about Australia leaving Iraq and rejecting the Bush Doctrine--like we did after the Spanish Election. To make matters even more disgusting, the NYT has no problem calling the Australian Economy "booming," yet the Australian unemployment rate is higher than the American unemployment rate and they even lost jobs in August, unlike the 13 straight positive-job-growth months under the Bush Administration. I greatly look forward to seeing the NYT continuing this logic into some stories about the booming American economy and how it should surely carry Bush into office despite the "widespread anger" over the war in Iraq. Labels: Economics
False Consciousness
The American press's understated coverage of the election results in Australia this weekend has been reported elsewhere, but the hometown paper's announcement of the event bears mentioning. In the Pioneer Press, the news was buried as an item in the Nation/World section. Notice, it has a by-line from the New York Times, with credited assistance from the Associated Press. An impressive array of resources used for an item consisting of less than 300 words. Maybe it takes that much professional journalism talent to come up with news reporting like this: Howard won despite widespread anger at his decision to send troops to Iraq last year and his pledge to keep them there. But Australian political analysts cautioned that the voting was not a referendum on the war. The main issue was the economy, and that is booming. Unemployment is close to all-time lows, and inflation is running at just 2 percent. Widespread anger at a politician manifesting itself in a landslide victory for ... that same politician? Either those unnamed, uncited "political analysts" are dead wrong, or this is building up to an unhealthy climax for the Aussies. Repressed rage on that scale can only lead to irrational, unproductive behavior. For example, outbursts like this: "This country is too wealthy" to vote for Labor, said Antonino D'Albora, a 60-year old taxi driver, capturing the political ambience here. Damn that mass prosperity! It's ruining everything! My guess is that "widespread anger" was limited to those on the Left. If election results mean anything, they're now a distinct a minority of opinion Down Under. We can only hope the Australians continue to avoid the crushing poverty conducive to (resulting from?) their gaining control of the government.
With the Twins loss for a second straight year to those damn Yankees, I see our friend the Atomizer has morphed into his alter ego the Agonizer. In a fit of gin soaked pique, first blaming manager Ron Gardenhire, then Game 4 losing pitcher Kyle Lohse for our ignominious season's end.
I agree that both gentleman are subject to some criticism, but Tom Powers in yesterday's Pioneer Press identifies the real culprit in this series, backup catcher Pat Borders. He's another guy apparently suffering from attention deficit syndrome: With one out [in the 11th inning], Rodriquez doubled to left. Manager Ron Gardenhire and his coaches could see from the dugout that A-Rod was eyeing third. They signaled frantically to catcher Pat Borders, calling for an "inside move." But no one in the dugout could get Borders' attention. As soon as Lohse went into his delivery, bench coach Steve Liddle went "Oh no!" I get the sense that Borders 41-year-old right arm would have had trouble throwing out Rodriguez anyway, but it would have been nice to have him available for consultation with the coaches on the most important pitch of the season. Turns out that wasn't even Borders' first mental breakdown during this series. He also played a critical role in the Twins' torturous loss in Game 2: The Minnesota coaches felt he was tipping off the location of pitches by leaning outside or inside too early. In fact, they believe Rodriguez hit his big Game 2 double in the 12th off Joe Nathan after Yankees runners saw Borders setting up to the outside and relayed the information to the hitter. Rodriguez then leaned across the plate and hit a low slider, one that was out of the strike zone, for his double. Borders' lingering angst over that misplay led to his third critical lapse in judgment during the series, the play allowing Rodriguez to score from third base in Game 4: After the fiasco in Game 2, Borders was determined not to give away the location of the slider. So set up squarely behind the plate. As Lohse delivered, Borders tried to jump to the outside. He was still in motion when the pitch arrived. The ball was almost in the dirt. Instead of trying to block the ball, as catchers are taught, Borders tried to backhand it. That's probably because he still was off-balance from his late shift. We all remember Borders as the World Series MVP in 1992 for the Toronto Blue Jays, and when he was acquired, I appreciated his supposed savvy, veteran presence on the team during this pennant chase. But his decided lack of savvy in this year's playoffs showed there were legitimate reasons for him spending most of the last SIX YEARS in the minor leagues. Maybe GM Terry Ryan is to blame for acquiring this stiff in the first place. One wonders what might have been if catching wunderkind Joe Mauer had stayed healthy this season. Instead of blaming Gardenhire, Lohse, Ryan, or even Borders for this series, I blame the new Metrodome turf and its affect on medial meniscus cartilage. All this being said, I cheer for the Yankees in the ALCS. Anything that would make John Kerry and Ben Affleck happy this fall must be prevented at all costs. Plus the Boston roster is full of jerks like Manny Ramirez, Pedro Martinez, and Doug Mientkiewicz. And I'm still bitter at David Ortiz for ceasing to suck immediately after the Twins let him go. Labels: Baseball
On The Road Again...
I could have waited to get on the road again. I left Minneapolis on Saturday at 6pm which caused me to miss a visit by the President, the conclusion of the Twins playoff game (a definite blessing in disguise), and some of the best autumn weather in years. Yesterday, I got in to Amsterdam around 9am. Slept for maybe an hour and half tops on the flight over and caught one of the silliest movies ever made (more on that in a future post) in between watching episodes from The Simpson's Third Season DVD on my laptop. I'm traveling with a coworker on this bidness trip, and we decided to take in some of the areas of The Netherlands that neither of us had visited before. We picked up our rental car at drove to The Hague. We spent a couple hours walking around the center of the city taking in the sites. Some interesting architecture interspersed with bland buildings housing various governmental ministries. The weather was decent with sunny skies and temps in the 50's. We stopped off at a local brew house for a pint, but spent most of our time on the move. We didn't really have enough time to form any perceptions about the city other than the noting the distressing lack of public restrooms, which is common in much of Europe. We also drove through Rotterdam and stopped for lunch at Cafe Rotterdam, which featured a scenic view of the Maas River. The food? Meh. The appetizer combo plate we shared hit the spot, but my steak left something to be desired. That something being taste. By the time we arrived at Veenendaal (our final destination) we were both fried. The cable in our hotel was out and it doesn't offer internet hook ups. We considered trying to find a sports bar in town to see if we could catch the Vikings game and find out what happened to the Twins, but fatigue overcame fandom and we elected to chill in the hotel bar instead. A Palm and a couple of Leffes (a damn fine Belgian brew) later we called it a night. This morning the cable was back, but I couldn't get an update on the Vikings or Twins from CNN International or the BBC. Plenty of slanted news coverage. Little or nothing from the sporting scene in the States. It wasn't until I got into work this morning that I was able to discover the fate that befell the Twins and read Atomizer's bitter screeds against Gardenhire and Lohse. Oh well. There's always next year, right Atomizer? More later as events and free time warrant.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Okay, I'm going to back off a bit on my hatred of Twins manager Ron Gardenhire. I was bitter, angry and drunk when I wrote that piece and while I still think the world watched the worst managed series ever conclude yesterday, I must direct my ire towards another culprit. Twins pitcher Kyle Lohse is today's winner in the "Who Does Atomizer Hate Now?" competition.
Lohse gives up a double to Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez in the top of the 11th inning. He then allows ARod to steal third and eventually score on a wild pitch to lose the game and the series. Here is Kyle's explanation: "I got caught not paying attention," Lohse said. "He's a smart baseball player, and he caught me at the one moment I wasn't suspecting it." Lohse "got caught not paying attention" in the 11th inning of a must win playoff game against the Yankees with, arguably, the best player in baseball on second base. Under what circumstances, Kyle, can we expect you to pay attention in the future? I certainly hope you're paying attention when contract renewal time comes up and, if there's any justice, you're booted squarely in the ass and out the door. Labels: Baseball
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Worst Managed Series Ever
Why would you take the ace of your staff out of a must win game after he's pitched only five innings with your team holding a 5-1 lead? You wouldn't, unless you're a total moron...like Ron Gardenhire. The whole purpose of having a staff ace is to send him out to pitch for at least seven innings and then you can hand it to your middle relief for one and your All Star closer can finish the ninth. Today, Gardy decided five innings and 90 pitches was just about enough for the odds-on favorite to win the AL Cy Young award. He tossed it to the bullpen about an inning too soon and, two innings later, usually reliable Juan Rincon blew a four run lead and the Twins eventually blew the game and the series. Brilliant move, Ron. Add to that the plethora of managerial mistakes committed in game two of the Division Series last Wednesday and you've got yet another quick exit from the post season at the hands of the Yankees. Crikey...there ain't enough gin on the planet to make me forget about Wednesday's loss. I state here and now that I refuse to attend another Twins game while that chucklehead is the manager. And you can toss away that lazy bum Christian Guzman as well.
Friday, October 08, 2004
Five Twenty Seven Comin' Outta The Sky
Rubber Biscuit brings our attention to a new local 527 joining the civilized discourse. They have a new ad which will be aired shortly featuring this charming image. They're playin' to an increasingly unraveling band.
It's twenty-five days until the election. What are you gonna do to make a difference?
Get involved. If you live in the Twin Cities, go to MN for Bush '04 and find out what you can do to help. If you live elsewhere go to GeorgeWBush.com to get information on the campaign in your area. Get a lawn sign, put a sticker on (or in) your car, knock on some doors, make some phone calls. It ain't all that hard. And it can be fun. On Saturday October 23rd the members of the Northern Alliance Radio Network will be at Bush/Cheney headquarters in St. Paul helping make phone calls from 4pm-6pm. Afterwards we're goin' to lift a few at a local watering hole. C'mon down and join us. The NARN will also be appearing at free AM-1280 listener event next Wednesday October 13th for the last presidential debate. It will be at the Minneapolis Hilton starting at 7:30pm. Big screen TVs, snacks, cash bar, WI-FI access, and the NARN. What more could you ask for? It has been a damn long campaign and we're all starting to feel a little burned out. But now it's crunch time. It's time to separate the men from the boys (or the Cheneys from the Edwards if you will). It's a sprint to the finish. It's now or never. There is no tomorrow. It's do or die. (Feel free to insert your own hoary cliché here.) Sack up, jack up (the troops), and rack up (the votes). Labels: Politics-Local (04-05)
Glenda Holste Unmasked
Long time Pioneer Press subscriber John writes in with this analysis of columnist Glenda Holste's seemingly non-partisan promotion of a new exhibit at the Minnesota Historical Society. I read Glenda Holste's "Unfiltered Facts" contribution on today's Pioneer Press Opinion Page. Something just didn't seem right about it. I couldn't put my finger on it, but once I subjected the column to blue-light examination -- you know, that crafty crime-scene scope with a UV powerlight that detects semen that Marg Helgenberger uses on CSI to find telltale stains -- I found undeniable evidence of subliminal messaging. Writing about the Smithsonian Exhibit "The American Presidency" currently on display at the Minnesota Historical Society she notes: Think of this encompassing view of the presidency as 'Extreme Facts Unfiltered'-- in other words, an unbiased look at the presidency. Holste selects three displays in the exhibit, that span 215 yeas of the presidency, ostensibly supporting the spirit of the Pioneer Press "Unfiltered Facts" series. Here are her descriptions, with the subliminal messages bathed in the glow of the blue-light of truth: To see Minnesota's first electoral votes cast for Abraham Lincoln in 1860, to see the inkwell from which he drew to write the first draft of the Emancipation Proclamation (listen Black voters) is to see a direct connection between voting (Republicans will try to prevent you from voting) and historic outcomes in America (don't let them steal the presidency -- again). Subliminal journalism should be beneath a mainstream media journalist. It's something a blogging "hobby hack" would do. (Read this blog.) I've been to a number of traveling Smithsonian exhibits, and I've found proximity to history to be inspiring (so is this blog) but seldom so partisan as Holste writes. Perceptive readers who can see through Holste's rhetoric without a blue-light (would enjoy this blog) will no doubt have the same experience viewing the actual exhibit (and reading this blog).
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Get On To The Bus
It's bad enough that my employer is sponsoring a "diversity fair", which we are strongly encouraged to attend. But now I find out that employees at my location will be bussed to said "diversity fair." Somehow I don't think this would play too well in South Boston.
Where's The Intolerence and Hate Coming From Again?
The latest example (from Plymouth, MN) of what seems to be a disturbing pattern. UPDATE: Derek has more.
Calling Kerry's Bluff
Joe Carter takes a closer look at just who these "allies" might be who John Kerry plans to have join the battle in Iraq: Will the Botswana Defense Force be patrolling Fallujah with the Marines? Will our soldiers fight alongside the Kazakhstan Republican Guard? Which nations will join Kerry's Coalition of the Remaining? He also has an interesting suggestion (in the comments) for the 'sphere post-election: I wish the whole blogosphere would take a 90 day moratorium on political discussions starting Nov. 4rd (we'd have to give the winning side at least one day to gloat). Amen Joe.
Perspective
Usually I don't link to posts by Hugh Hewitt. I assume that most people who are reading us are also reading Hugh (if you're not, you should be). It's like linking to Lileks. I assume that everyone reads The Bleat everyday. But, today I am going to encourage everyone to read this post by Hugh. Some of you may still believe that we're not really at war, but for those of us who do it offers a stark contrast between the political campaign we're seeing today and the one conducted sixty years ago in the midst of the Second World War. If you only have time to read one thing today, make it Hugh's post.
Sapphire Alert
Folks, we're a bit concerned about Atomizer and are asking for your help. No one has seen or heard from him since last night's Twins debacle. We fear that he's gone off the reservation again and may in the midst of a William Foster like meltdown. He's been under a lot of stress lately what with his impending nuptials, his efforts to become licensed as an architect for Vandelay Industries, and the pressure that comes with being the NARN's "can you say that?" guy. Last night's Twins loss could be the straw that breaks his back. If you spot Atomizer, we advice that you do not approach him. He likely is armed (with a bottle of gin) and may be dangerous (mostly to himself). Whatever you do, do not, we can't stress this enough people, DO NOT mention the name Ron Gardenhire to him under any circumstances. Please report any sightings of Atomizer to us immediately and then seek shelter. We will sound an all clear when the danger has passed. Which should be about six or seven months from now. UPDATE: The Golden Girl has reported the first Atomizer sighting. She speculates that: Perhaps he's admitted he has a problem, and is seeking help during "The Happiness Hour." UPDATE II: Terry, the big cheese (to borrow a Nick Coleman term-hey he knows stuff remember?) at Keegan's Irish Pub & Restaurant informs us that he is ready for Hurricane Atomizer: In the interest of public safety we are removing all Sapphire from the shelves in anticipation of an appearance by the Atomizer. I have recalled my invitation to Ron Gardenhire to attend tonight's quiz. Sounds like some very prudent measures to take. You never really can be too safe when dealing with an unstable situation such as this.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Ouch
That one f'in hurt. Somewhere in Eagan, a diehard Twin's fan heart is aching. I expect that shortly the bottles (empty of course) will start breaking. Atomizer is going to need years of therapy to get past this one.
Uh -- I'm not allowed to date customers
Every time I hear John Edwards pathetic attempts to talk tough, for example last night when he said: "We will find terrorists where they are and kill them before they ever do harm to the American people, first." and, "I would find terrorists where they are and stop them and kill them before they do harm to us." I can't help but think of the faltering-voiced, pimply-faced Puberty Boy from The Simpson's. 
"An impending terrorist attack on the United States? Oh. Gee, uh, just a minute. I have to check with the manager."
Meanwhile, in the real world...
This was my wife's favorite John Edwards quote from last night's debate: "The reality is that John Kerry has consistently supported the very men that he served with in Vietnam and led." Yep. The 1971 testimony before Congress? He did it to "support" his band of brothers. That 1970 meeting with North Vietnamese Communists in Paris? Supporting the men he served with of course. Yes. John Kerry's been consistent in this matter all right.
The Gathering Gloom
The reaction of the New York tabloids to the Twins' defeat of the Yankees in game one of the ALDS last night is subdued, with a consistent theme emerging. George Steinbrenner amassed a record payroll this year to ensure another championship and the Yanks may not be good enough to get out of the first round of the playoffs. Mike Vaccaro from the New York Post: Suddenly, sooner than any of them possibly could have believed, the Yankees get to find out if they bought any championship timber for this team that cost nearly $200 million to assemble. Suddenly, stunningly, impossibly, a season that included 101 regular-season victories hangs by a rapidly fraying thread. Suddenly, amazingly, the Yankees find themselves in a hell of a jam. Kevin Kernan, also from the Post: ...on a day the Red Sox moved a step closer to living their dream, the ultimate Yankee nightmare is right around the corner. The Yankees have now lost two straight, 2-0 post-season games going back to Game 6 of the World Series last year. A first-round knockout by the Twins, whose payroll is $145 million less than the Yankees, would be devastating to George Steinbrenner & Co. One of the unappreciated risks of grossly overspending on payroll, it's money that matters for your critics, and anything short of total victory is reason for ridicule. The Twins playoff run last year began the same as this year. A close, low scoring, hard fought victory over the Yankees and Game 1 starter Mike Mussina. Compared to this year's press dread and resignation, last year's panicked, hyperbolic reaction from the press was perfect. Perfect in that it reinforced the beloved stereotype of New Yorker tabloid journalism, forced to blow any story dramatically out of proportion, in order to be heard in that media saturated cacophony: George Steinbrenner said getting the Yankees even is Torre's responsibility. "I am not a good loser and I am upset, but that's all right," The Boss said. "We will turn it around. Joe will have to do it." But Torre can't field or hit, and if those two areas don't improve, the river of Pinstriped blood gushing from The Bronx corner of East 161st St. and River Ave. will carry several bodies with it. Those words from sportswriter George King of the New York Post. For whatever reason, he's been put on the bench by the Post this year, relegated to doing some sidebar stuff, at least for game 1. Let's hope he gets called in to throw some gasoline on the fire if the series continues to go the Twins' way. It is interesting to contrast the confidence of Steinbrenner (as quoted by King last year) with his reported reaction this year. This from John Heyman of Newsday: While the Yankees have the payroll and pedigree in this repeat David-and-Goliath matchup, the Twins have the pitching. Outspent by $140 million and outmanned by most accounts, the team that beat contraction has once again put an honest-to-goodness scare into baseball's richest team. Steinbrenner, the man from hope, wore a pained expression of hopelessness as he boarded the loge level elevator just before midnight. He ignored a reporter's question, put his head down and headed down. His team may go in a similar direction. From "we will turn it around" to a pained expression of hopelessness. Having John Lieber and two question marks as your next scheduled starters instead of Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens, and David Wells tends to have that affect on your spirit. UPDATE: Dr. Monkeystein's coming to terms with impending loss should be fun to read too.
Strangers When We Meet
Adam from The Blogspirator looks at the claim that Cheney had met Edwards before last night's debate and comes up with this analogy: It reminds The Blogspirator of a 15 year old girl saying about the High School football Captain, "I guess he forgot about the time three years ago when he sat next to me on the bus!" It conveys that they aren't even in the same league.
Calling A Stooge A Stooge
Today, our favorite Star Tribune columnist and knower of stuff, Nick Coleman, devotes his entire column, all 894 words, to Richard Wolfgramm, a Republican who has become a leader of Minnesota Veterans for Kerry. At the end of the column he thoughtfully provides a schedule for upcoming Veterans for Kerry rallies. But he's not a "naked partisan" like us bloggers. No, he doesn't give money to politicians. He doesn't put campaign signs on his lawn. He doesn't attend political events as anything other than a reporter. He doesn't drink with pols and we all know about the years he's spent honing his ear's lunch meat sensory skills. In fact, I'm sure that Nick will follow up this column with one featuring a Minnesota representative of Vietnam Veterans Against John Kerry lest anyone suspect he may be even the least bit partisan.
Much Ado...
By now I'm sure that everyone is familiar with the current flap about an image displayed on NBC Nightly News that featured President Bush next to the letters "ILIE". In actuality, the photo was taken from an appearance at which the President stood in front of a banner that read "Tax Relief For Working Families". Dubya just happened to be standing in the wrong place at the wrong time, so to speak. I find it greatly amusing (or deeply disturbing, depending upon my mood) that election year politics has sunk to the level where people are pulling out their magnifying glasses to analyze the minutiae of every single news report in order to find evidence of the now well known media bias towards the Democratic ticket. That said, do you think we'll see this picture next to Tom Brokaw on tomorrow night's program?
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Last Time I Saw A Mouth Like That, It Had A Hook In It
"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an olive in it." Rest in peace, Rodney.
These Little Town Blues...
Are starting to fade. Minnesota Twins 2 New York Yankees 0
Valley Girl And Lawyer Guy
I thought that the Cheney/Edwards debate was a mismatch. Then I watched John Hinderacker from Power Line and Ana Marie Cox (Wonkette) on NBC offering up post-debate analysis from the right and left. Ana Marie was doing okay until she opened her mouth. John may have been a bit nervous, but at least he was able to communicate an intelligent perspective without giggling like a school girl. The best part of the whole segment had to Brokaw's introduction, where he treated the big name bloggers like some kind of high school fad: "Next up we'll here from a couple of those wacky rebels and their nutty, new-fangled blogs, short for web log they tell me, that are all the rage with the kids these days." Would it be too much to hope that he, Jennings, and Rather are all put out to pasture soon?
Cheney's Timepiece Laundering Service
Almost 9pm: I'm not live blogging the debate because of the Twins game. Too hard to blog and flip back and forth between the two. But I gotta say, from what I've seen at this point, Cheney is absolutely cleaning Edwards' clock. It's like watching your dad debate your smart-assed cousin back from his first year of college who thinks he knows everything. Your cousin might mean well, but he's no match for the experience and real knowledge that your old man has acquired. By the way, Twins two Yanks zip after five and a half.
Talking Heads
Earlier today, Patrick Campion, ops manager from AM-1280 The Patriot and proprietor of Plastic Hallway, appeared on local television news (WCCO's 6pm news) for a story on the impact of talk radio on this year's political campaign. Right after tonight's debate, Hindrocket from Power Line will be on NBC to throw his two cents in. Who's got a better face for TV? Tune in to find out.
Columnists Without Borders
In today's Pioneer Press, Senator Mark Dayton attacks Craig Westover's previous Pioneer Press column on prescription drug reimportation. In the fine tradition of arrogance, Dayton (or whoever is writing his public statements these days) refuses to descend from his lofty perch to even name whom he attacks. Instead simply uses "a writer" and "the author." Hours later, Westover speaks truth to power and strikes back with a fisking of Dayton's illogic and mischaracterizations. It's Star Tribune Deputy Editor Jim Boyd's worst nightmare, a tennis match debate - meaning , gasp, those attacked from on high actually get to respond. Westover does respond, with style. Key line about Dayton's accusations about the undue influence of private sector lobbyists: Business might pull over to the curb, but it's government that loiters under the streetlight flashing its cleavage. Did I mention, Westover responded on his BLOG! (screech!). A newspaper columnist with a blog. I think we just blew Nick Coleman's mind. Maybe he'll respond to this development the next time his column is scheduled to run. When was that again, Friday or next Tuesday or something?
He used to dip his bald head in oil and rub it all over my body
Terrie at Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion, cautions us to not underestimate one powerful weapon in Dick Cheney's arsenal: his sex appeal. Read her complete breakdown of tonight's debate in the aptly titled post, The Professor and Mary Ann.
He Works Hard for the Money
Born romantic Tim writes in with a Nick Coleman analogy that may be taking things just a bit too far. But in the spirit of the times, I'll let you be the judge: I was listening to the Coleman segment of the Alliance radio rebroadcast last night, where one of the one air personalities pointed out bloggers write for love, and claimed the high ground in the Coleman debate based in part on that. An analogy occurred to me, but bear in mind it's a little distasteful. Nick Coleman seems to be awfully proud that he is a professional writer and you're not. It seems to me being a professional writer is like being a professional sex worker. We all have the equipment. Some of use it for love, some of us use it for money. Before abandoning this distasteful analogy, let me point out one other parallel: when you're doing it for love, you care whether the other party is satisfied. With a little spare time, I decided to check how original a thinker I am. Not very, but boy do some folks like to stretch an analogy. Maybe everything is like sex in some way. Here's what Google got me: "Writing is like sex. First you do it for love, then you do it for a few friends, then you do it for money." -- Anonymous (Also attributed to Oscar Wilde and Virginia Woolfe)This last was the most referenced but the most strained: "Writing is like sex in that it can be very nice when you are thinking about it, terrific when you are doing it, very satisfying afterwards...and you write because you have to."Interesting theory Tim. It really puts a whole new significance to writing withering and anonymous social commentary in your underwear. Although it sounds like whoever is the author of that last quote is having a much better time blogging than I am. (I blame my dial up connection.) Finally, on Nick Coleman and his critics, the best discussion is happening on Press Think, written by Jay Rosen of NYU. His latest post takes Coleman's perspective seriously and shows how his criticisms could have been executed so much better. Also, this characterization of where the MSM critics from the blogosphere are coming from. I must admit, I see aspects of my motivation in both of these camps: ... those who are frustrated and angry with the traditional news media, and want answers, as well as changes, which is one group of critics--many of them pro-Bush or red staters, some of whom blog--and another group, posing as critics of bias, who see an oppportunity to discredit CBS News in the wider public sphere. They want to achieve an historic victory in a very long war between conservatives and the likes of CBS, going back to 1969 and Spiro Agnew, or even further to 1964, when Barry Goldwater met the hostility of Northeastern journalists. They want to inflict as much damage as possible on an institution they treat as hostile to Republican Truth, and to the message of the cultural right. Rosen's previous post, a more robust criticism of Coleman, merits reading in full as well (including the comments). Still Undecided?
Last month, a reader alerted us to the story of an "undecided voter" who was appearing on NPR's Morning Edition. The voter in question was one John Ridley, who turned out to have donated money to both John Kerry and Wesley Clark, raising doubts about how really "undecided" he really was. The story was also covered quite thoroughly by Jim Geraghty at NRO's The Kerry Spot. In fact, Geraghty recently posted his own update on what has transpired since the original questions were asked about Ridley's status. But one of our readers is still not satisfied with the resolution of this matter. And if one our readers isn't satisfied, then damnit, we're not satisfied either. And so we give Bill the floor to air his case: The NPR ombudsman's 9/24/04 column (which led Jim Geraghty to comment, "Ladies and gentleman, in the long and varied history of lame excuses and spin, this may just be the lamest...") claims Ridley confessed to both the Clark and Kerry donations on 9/24/04. However, as you can hear for yourself (scroll down to the link "NPR's swing voter on Iraq") he did no such thing. He admitted to Kerry only and then used as the excuse that he gave to Kerry only because Bush had raised so much money. Of course this "I only gave to a Dem to balance Bush" is belied by the fact that in January he gave to Clark and then when Clark left, gave to Kerry in March. I've spoken to the NPR ombudsman directly and noted the fact that Ridley did not 'fess up completely on air. He said he knows, that the producer told him Ridley was supposed to have, and that he wrote the 9/24/04 ombudsman column based on the producer's assurance Ridley would admit to both donations on the 9/24/04 broadcast. The ombudsman would only tell me that this was being dealt with by "higher level management", but the fact that the piece did not air on Friday or Monday morning for that matter should tell you something. Ridley also claimed to have given money to the RNC: "Not so," says Susan Feeney, Morning Edition senior editor. "John Ridley is a smart and funny political observer who really hasn't made up his mind. John has also given money to the Republican National Committee and carries around an RNC card to prove it. Last Friday no "swing voter" episode aired. The ombudsman's 10/4/04 column does not mention at all that Ridley is still not admitting to the Clark donation. Moreover, Ridley's claim that he gave to the RNC "because I have an RNC card" is questionable: there's no FEC record of his giving to the RNC or ANY Republican EVER and simply having an RNC card doesn't mean you gave (some RNC mailings GIVE the card in anticipation of you giving). Jim Geraghty has spoken with the NPR ombudsman as well, who claims that there are no records of Ridley's donations to the RNC because they were small in nature (less than $200). Awfully convenient isn't it? Let's hope that NPR has finally realized the folly in trying to play this guy off as an "undecided voter" and pulls the plug on this little charade for good. If not, you can expect Bill to tell us all about it.
Audio Separated At Birth?
Good at hauling in the long bomb, NFL wide receiver turned Fox TV color commentator Cris Collinsworth and... Good at hauling in the long green, ABA trial lawyer turned DNC vice presidential candidate John Edwards? Listen for it tonight.
Kids Say The Stupidest Things
King finds a hall of fame quality letter to the editor. You think that kid is on double secret probation?
Entente Terrible?
The intrepid folks at Spitbull have found (after much searching) an ally willing to stand with beleaguered Star Tribune columnist Nick Coleman. One knows the stuff, the other has the 'nads.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Kerry's Cheat Sheet
Master researcher/forger Jim Styczinski is at it again with his latest find, what John Kerry REALLY pulled out of his suit pocket before last Thursday's debate.  (click to enlarge)
Today is going to be a long day. Not because of any especially onerous burdens that the day holds in store for me, but because I probably accumulated a grand total of two hours of sleep last night. I went to bed at a reasonable time and didn't have to arise at an ungodly hour this morning. The problem was that for most of the wretched night I couldn't reach the blissful land of nod, despite my best efforts to slip into dreamland. And for that failure I blame...
...the 401K Latte Guy a.k.a. Peter McClellan. For last night he was at the Patriot Forum, featuring Hugh Hewitt and Jason Lewis, dispensing coffee from a jetpack-like contraption strapped to his back. He looked a bit like those guys who shoot t-shirts into the crowd at basketball games, and I half expected him to ask people to open their mouths while he directed a stream of scalding java toward them from forty feet away. It was around 5:30pm, about halfway through the social hour, and I had already enjoyed a bottle of John Kerry's favorite beer, when my wife asked if I wanted a cup of coffee from the investment barista. My first thought was to pass, knowing that caffeine intake at that time of day had historically played havoc with my sleep patterns, but the desire for a dose of liquid energy overcame my sensible side and I acquiesced. Eight hours later, as I restlessly writhed in bed unable to slumber, I deeply regretted my decision and silently cursed the name of the source of my unease. Damn you 401K Latte Guy! Damn you all to hell! Otherwise the event itself was quite enjoyable. As promised, Hugh and Jason did indeed rock the house. Over six hundred Patriot listeners turned out to hear the dynamic duo, and I don't think any of them went home disappointed. With the notable exception of the guy who wanted Hugh to autograph his USC cheerleader outfit that is. Some lines he just won't cross. A energetic spokeswoman for the Bush/Cheney campaign in Minnesota briefly spoke as well, and she announced that President Bush will once again be visiting our fair state. The details are a bit sketchy at this point, but it looks like Bush will be making an appearance at a park in Chanhassen on Saturday October 9th around noon. Check the campaign website for updates and information on how you can get tickets. In all likelihood we'll have a couple of Northern Alliance Radio Network correspondents on hand to cover the event, and there's a decent chance I'll be one of them. With the President's visit, the debates on Tuesday and Friday, the Twins playoff series against them damn Yankees, and Thursday night trivia at Keegan's it's going to be a very busy week. I best rest up this evening. Labels: Ralphie
Long time Nick Coleman observer, Man from Silver Mountain, writes in with this report, helping us to understand Nick Coleman via cinematic character comparison.
Today makes the three month anniversary of the last time Fraters published a Newspaper Newlyweds update. Sure, St. Paul and the Elder have taken Nick and Laura to task, but since Laura discovered our intrepid reporting they have been a little more guarded in revealing their personal lives in their columns. Which is not to be confused with taking a more professional approach to their jobs. Instead Laura has replaced columns about the foibles of her husband with commentary on the weather and made up conversations between barn animals. The Pulitzer committee awaits. That's not to say that the Newlyweds haven't done anything worth reporting on over the last quarter. Nick admitted that his evenings were spent fighting off bill collectors, blaming Laura. He also admitted his striking resemblance to the fishing hat bandit, specifically citing their nearly identical sartorial choices. The only difference in their appearance seems to be Nick's paunchiness. Laura picked up on that theme with a follow up column titled "The Fishing Hat Bandit Should Take More Fashion Chances," where she basically asked Nick to ditch the omnipresent caps and put on a clean shirt once in a while. Who can blame her? With his seemingly daily trips to the homeless shelters, sex shops, and White Castles of St. Paul, he must smell quite foul. No, Newspaper Newlyweds hiatus was not from a lack of material, but from Nick Coleman Fatigue. One wonders if Laura is suffering too as her 9/28 column was titled, "Ensuring Wedded Bliss May Take Some Doing." In this column she suggests a five point plan for the Healthy Marriage Resource Center, a new piece of federal pork that Minnesota just got a $900,000 slice of: Extreme Premarital counseling Emergency intervention Raise the bar on marriage licensing Clean up toxic bachelors Help us with our bottom line Seems like a gal who's just thrilled with her marriage! Federal enforcement of points 1-4 would have legally prevented her from marrying Nick. Point 5 would prevent him from blaming her for collections calls in the middle of the night. Nick took Laura's slam with his usual good sense and grace, by blaming the entire blogosophere. And after all of the stuff we've written about him and his wife, the thing that offended him most was that we said he was rich! I would have laid odds it would have been the fun we had with Laura's comments on male impotence in a Super Bowl column. No, Nick responded with a diatribe against your humble correspondents at Fraters Libertas (and Powerline too; I guess it never hurts to carry a little water for the Deputy Editor). Although about 50 different blogs have picked the piece over, I'll briefly touch on my very favorite section. He expresses displeasure that his spot in the mainstream media is being marginalized and responds with the following desperate plea: "I can handle things I'm smart -- not like everyone says -- not dumb, smart and I want respect!" Actually, that's Fredo from The Godfather Part II. Please forgive me, I always seem to confuse the two. How could I not, the similarities are numerous. Fredo had as a father a powerful man who claimed to be involved in legitimate business. Fredo wasn't strong enough to fill his fathers shoes. He couldn't handle discovering the fact that he wasn't a big man, that the world had passed him by. He became a dishonorable stooge, acting out of envy and vengeance. The powers that were only kept him alive because of respect for his (step)mother. His young, ditzy wife publicly embarrassed him. And if Fredo would have lived another 20 years, the physical resemblance between he and Nick would have been striking. Remember Nick's true quote of self affirmation was: "I know stuff." He would have been better off using Fredo's words. They're not quite as pathetic. Labels: Newspaper Newlyweds
Is There A Draft Coming?
Flatlander (isn't he the Iraqi Dinar guy?) wants to get one started. A draft to get a well-known local writer to throw his magic hat into the political ring that is. It may seem a bit preposterous, but it sounds like he's open to new (or old) opportunities these days.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
From Australia, reports of a retired Minneapolis journalist (credentialed, mind you), abandoning the Star Tribune for blogs. Excerpt:
We live in Minneapolis, and the Strib is our paper. [My father] doesn't bother with it. He has been retired for over a decade and almost all he reads now are blogs. He loves them. He is now addicted to Powerline, and Lileks, and Hewitt, among others. He is a great admirer or the Northern Alliance. Northern Alliance addiction. The sure fire cure for Nick Coleman Fatigue. Yesterday, during the third hour of the Northern Alliance Radio Network we held a debate with Nick Coleman on his allegations. And in the grand tradition of Star Tribune credentialed journalists, he refused to show up. Or even acknowledge our many invitations. Perhaps he was out chasing tornadoes. Or maybe locked in a fallout shelter, with a trembling Jim Boyd, hoping to ride out the storm. We of course held the debate without him. Check out the Northern Alliance web stream at right for the replay of all the gory details (which will be continuously recycling all week long). Labels: Media-Local (02-04)
Saturday, October 02, 2004
The Sporting Life
Hey Hugh, how 'bout them Buckeyes? And how 'bout that Bartolo Colon? Told you he'd help the Angels.
Chose or Lose ... Your Life?!
The Vote for Change rock tour kicked off this week and with it comes the first blast of reckless, irresponsible, and ideological rhetoric. (The crack legal team at Northern Alliance Radio Network--today from noon to 3 on 1280 AM--is looking into potential copyright infringement, because that's our turf, baby.)
In Pittsburgh, cutie pie, dulcet toned, politically naive Natalie Maines had this to say about the upcoming election: "We definitely want a regime change, and now that we're getting down to the wire I'm even less afraid to speak out. I just think things are absolutely life or death right now." A tad melodramatic there Natalie. You want to face life or death, go convince the Iraqi "insurgency" about your sacred rights to the franchise. If Bush wins or loses, nobody is advocating killing Democrats. Internment, maybe. Killing, no. I wish we could get the same assurances from the loyal opposition. No such luck. This, from local fossil rocker and geriatric punk (don't these guys ever grow up?), Curtiss A: ...the 53-year-old rocker/artist/local legend's latest creation, a T-shirt emblazoned with "Kill Republicans, Not Mourning Doves" on the front, and "Start With Norm [Coleman]" on the back. "Have we forgotten that all Republicans are criminals?" he rants. "Reagan? Iran-Contra? I don't care how much everybody likes him and thinks he looks like Superman. Fuck him. Fuck Nancy. Fuck Laura [Bush], Nancy, the Bush twins; they should all be eviscerated. Hee Haw! Rape and mutilate the women! Maybe that's why Curtiss A is supporting Kerry, he's hoping to get some gigs in a post-cut-and-run Iraq. (Lord knows he could use the work.) The rant above could be a number 1 single on the Al Queda Hot Hits chart. Of course, Curtiss A is most well known for his annual concert tribute to John Lennon at First Avenue every December 8 (which I believe is the only paying gig he gets all year--not bad for a "legend".) For consistency purposes, we're hoping he leaves All You Need Is Love' and 'Give Peace a Chance' off the set list this year. Labels: That's Entertainment
Driving Phyllis Schlafly
The latest from escort to the stars, the Warrior Princess. Last week I spent a good portion of my week hanging out with Mrs. Phyllis Schlafly. I was in charge of coordinating three local events which she participated in (one of feminism, two on judicial activism), and making sure she was happy while she was here. That left me a lot of time to pick her brain, and to try to get some of her talent to rub off on me. Which resulted in the following insights: Top 10 Things I Learned from Hanging Out with Phyllis Schlafly. 1. Phyllis Schlafly is a very important person. This is a fact of which I hadn't the faintest idea before I invited Phyllis to come speak. She was recommended by a friend as a good person to come and speak on whether feminism has been good for women based upon her book "Feminist Fantasies." It was only after she had agreed to come and I started getting the "you got who to come" looks of shock from people that I decided to look her up on the internet. My sheer dumb rhino sized luck never ceases to amaze me. 2. Coordinating speaking events for very important people is really really time consuming. For every one minute of her 60 minute debate I spent 1-2 hours calling, emailing, reserving, coordinating, etc. etc. etc. to get the whole thing all set up. Hosting a very important person takes a very organized, responsible, detailed oriented individual. If you plan to host an event and you don't possess these qualities, you better learn to be anal retentive real fast. 3. When making a first impression with a very important person, being able to find your way back to your car in the airport parking ramp is a good idea. Don't ask. 4. When it is most necessary for you to be healthy and well rested, you will come down with a horrible illness leaving you sniffling, coughing, brain dead, and falling asleep at every free moment. I don't know what was better about this, moderating a debate in front of 100 people with the raspy nasal voice, trying to find a polite way to blow my nose away from the microphone without drawing attention to myself, or trying to summarize questions on a day I don't know if I could spell my own name. 5. When you've got it, you've got it. In our 30 minute power walk while trying to find the parking ramp, Phyllis informed me she had only just looked at her schedule and realized her talk in just over an hour was on feminism, and not on her newest book on judicial activism. That admission made me raise my eyebrows a little, but it didn't phase her in the least. She made a phone call, scribbled a few notes, and that was her only prep. It was amazing to watch her work. The history and knowledge she brought to the debate was unparalleled. Before my very eyes I watched as she demolished conventional feminist myths about motherhood, challenged radical assumptions about gender roles, and deconstructed the Equal Rights Amendment. She won the debate hands down. 6. Even the best can't be right all the time Mrs. Schlafly ended her speech by arguing that the proportionality requirement of Title IX should be abolished because women aren't as interested in sports as men, they are playing just for the money, and they aren't going to continue to play after they graduate. While I agree that the proportionality requirement is ludicrous, her reasoning was really weak. If women didn't care about sports and were just playing for scholarships the Ivy's and D-3 schools wouldn't be able to field a single women's sports team. And I know a lot of women basketball players like me who did everything they could to find a place they could play after high school, money or no money. While her arguments may have been true twenty years ago, the evolution of women in athletics have made those arguments obsolete. I brought it up to her later at dinner that night, but she found my arguments on the issue as unconvincing as I found hers. Probably partially because I have the bias that I was paid to play, and that the critique was coming from a whipper snapper nearly 60 years her junior. She and I agreed to keep in touch so maybe I'll yet convince her she needs to reframe her argument on Title IX, but I'm not holding my breath. 7. Yahoo maps is controlled by fire breathing torture gnomes Even though I was pretty sure I knew how to get to the location of Phyllis' Wednesday noon talk, after my not so brilliant moments trying to find the parking garage the day before, I wanted to be safe and get a map. Instead, I ended up driving over the river twice, driving over 35W twice, and passing the same gas station at least 4 times. Kind of like St. Paul trying to maneuver his way back to the freeway from Casa de Strom after Bush's RNC acceptance speech. 8. Liberals love to ask questions that are not questions to hear themselves talk At one of Phyllis' talks on Judicial Activism, the first question came from this guy who started by explaining to Phyllis the difference between constitutionalism and democracy and how they worked together in European nations. From there he went to the bird migration patterns of geese in Bermuda, a detailed explanation of the existence of crop circles, and was beginning on his dissertation of the Nigerian dung beetle when somebody behind him chimed in "What's your question? This is her talk not yours." At this point he remembered he didn't have one, and sat down. 9. Life at 83 doesn't have to be boring My comrades and I were all shocked when we learned that Phyllis Schlafly is 83 years old. 83 and still galavanting all over the country making liberals mad. Assuming I make it to my early 80's, if I'm half as spry as her I'll know life's been good to me. 10. The baton is waiting to be passed We have already begun to lose a number of our conservative icons. The direction of the conservative movement is going to depend on those of us starting to step up now. We need articulate social conservatives ready to step into the limelight. And social conservatives need to be conscious of the possibility their voices will be squelched in an increasingly fiscally focused Republican party. Regardless of who gets the Republican nomination in '08, the Republican platform is going to be a serious battle come nomination time. All in all, I can't complain. They were great events, and they went off without a hitch. I got to get a couple of books signed, eat steak at a fancy restaurant, and learn from one of the 100 most important women of the 20th century (title courtesy of Ladies Home Journal). Not bad. Not bad at all.
Friday, October 01, 2004
Moving On, Leaving Beliefs Behind
The MoveOn.org folks were watching the debate last night and they're pretty excited about John Kerry's performance today (from an e-mail I received): The debate last night was a make-or-break moment in our campaign to win back the White House. Today the verdict is in: with confidence and conviction, Kerry made the case against Bush's disastrous foreign policy -- and Bush couldn't take the heat. Kerry's win last night will transform the presidential race. As voters get to actually meet the man Karl Rove has demonized, they realize he presents a serious alternative to Bush's reckless policy of endless war. They also plan to follow up this weekend by hitting the editorial pages: Over the weekend, Americans will look to the letters-to-the-editor pages of their local newspapers to confirm their perceptions about the candidates and their performances. Please take a few minutes today to write a letter highlighting how Kerry confronted Bush with the truth and the way that it rattled and angered him. We've set up an online tool that highlights some key talking points and makes it easy to find your local newspaper. Keep an eye out for these canned letters. Here are some of their talking points: -John Kerry was strong, clear, and convincing, and he won. -Kerry explained how the war in Iraq was an enormous diversion from the hunt for Osama bin Laden. -George Bush couldn't take the heat. -The debate showed how Bush is out of touch with reality. -Bush tried to mislead the public about a connection between Saddam Hussein and Iraq, but Kerry wouldn't let him do it. I have a feeling that you'll be able to play MoveOn.org Bingo with the letters you see in the Star Tribune this weekend. One question that I'd love to ask some of these MoveOn'ers or the people with the "War Is Never The Answer" bumper stickers is what they think about this remark from Kerry in last night's debate: What I want to do is change the dynamics on the ground. And you have to do that by beginning to not back off of the Fallujahs and other places, and send the wrong message to the terrorists. You have to close the borders. Most of the MoveOn folks are stridently anti-war. They don't think we should have gone into Iraq and they believe that our troops are sinking in quicksand over there. They want us to get out and bring the troops home. But now their guy is promising to take things to another level in Fallujah, which would almost certainly result in higher casualties for the civilian population, and the Iraqi and US military forces. As Saint Paul noted last night, is it okay for the MoveOn crew to have a "Butcher of Fallujah" as long as he's their butcher? And I thought we weren't fighting terrorists in Iraq anyway. What happened to the Iraqi "Minutemen" of MoveOn.org's hero Michael Moore? In their frenzy to get rid of Bush, they've given up all pretense of holding to any of the core principles that originally motivated them to come together in the first place.
Some Other Debate Takes
That you may not have come across yet: Derek has no time for the sheep at Freedom Dogs. Terrie at Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion saw a little bit of Austin Powers and Woody Allen last night. Finally, Chumley's summation at Plastic Hallway reflects my overall impression on the debate: Let me just sum up. Yawn. That's right. How boring can this be? Both candidates are holding back. They're not saying what needs to be said, they're not saying anything new, and they're not impressing me very much. Oh well. I guess this one just boiled down to being a soundbite contest. It turns out that we're not the only ones who saw it that way either.
Nick Coleman's Indecent Exposure
Long time Nick Coleman observer Jim Styczinski writes in with this exposé of Nick Coleman's brand of journalism: While it's no substitute for Journalism School or covering the World Series, you ticks can still learn something by studying the elephant. Thus, as a public service to bloggers, I offer this Nick Coleman case study. On August 25, Nick Coleman wrote a column criticizing the police for arresting some Macalester College coeds who were skinny dipping at Hidden Beach, part of a Minneapolis Park. Coleman suggested that this was not the ideal use of precious police manpower: "Cracking down on naked people might seem a debatable use of precious police manpower in a city that has had to borrow helicopters from the state in order to try to convince drug dealers and gang bangers that the cops mean business." And he hinted that the "Minneapolis Bod Squad,: as he referred to the arresting officers, was motivated more by titillation than public safety: "Is the point of patrolling a public place to make sure people are safe and don't get hurt? Or is it to make naked women get out of the water?" I must admit that at this point I more or less agreed with Nick. He made it seem that the Minneapolis Police had gotten bored patrolling Hennepin Avenue and decided to see what was happening over at Hidden Beach. Then on September 3 came Nick Coleman's response to the feedback he received from the skinny dipping column. It seems that Minneapolis Police Chief Bill McManus wrote Nick an angry letter saying, among other things, that his cops would never waste time and resources "on trivial violations of the law." It turned out that the arrests were made by the Minneapolis Park Police. What was the response of journalistic elephant Nick Coleman? "I understand that it is the park police who generally keep our parks nude free. But MPD cops can respond to park problems, too. So I fudged it as to whether the skinny dippers were busted by city cops or park cops because: 1) I couldn't find out for sure; and 2) It didn't make much difference." Let's consider number two first. I would argue that it does make a difference. If the busts had been made by cops taking a break from patrolling North Minneapolis, Coleman may have had a story. But the busts were made by the Park Police whose job it is to patrol the parks and bust people who break even the trivial laws. One of the reasons for having a Park Police is to relieve the rest of the police force from worrying about the enforcement of Park Board ordinances. As for the first point, I'm not really qualified to respond to it, having never been to Journalism school and having never covered city hall. It just may be impossible to find out whether an arrest was made by the Park Police or the city police. At least until after you've already written the column about it. Jim is right. Editors, corrections policies, community standards, somehow all conspired to fail Nick Coleman on this story. How does that happen? With all that professional journalistic oversight, he still published an outright falsehood. I must say, we bloggers could do this all on our own, even without editors, corrections policies, and community standards. (And without all that overhead, we pass the savings along to you!) Nick's September 3 column also contained this classic bit of dodgy, simplistic rationalization, in response to the fact that the Park Police arrested many other skinny dippers (some, presumably bloated and quite heinous in appearance), on the night the naked Macalaster co-eds were caught up in the net of justice: "True, but not my fault: The park police spokesman I talked to did not mention that there were other arrests that night, even though I asked for a description of what had occurred. If I had been given the information, I would have included it." Wait a minute here, Nick Coleman claimed to have the "credentials of a real journalist." No one is exactly sure what that means, but are we to assume it has something to do with blindly publishing whatever a source says at face value? And not having the curiosity or insight to ask further questions that could reveal the true story? And then, when caught reporting half-truths and misleading information, blaming it on the source for not getting your reporting correct? Since Nick Coleman also claims to be in the business of "scrutinizing the actions of those in power," I have to assume the above conditions only apply when the half-truths and misleading information validate the story he's written in advance of the interview. One can't let the facts get in the way when you're afflicting the comfortable (like those elitist slackards walking the beat on the Minneapolis Police Department). Especially when you're on deadline and you don't have any other ideas.
The Morning After
Looking back on last night's debate from the perspective of a new day, I stand by my immediate post-debate reaction. Kerry won on style points. He appeared steady and confident. Most of all, he managed to ditch the stiff, patrician image that he usually exudes. But his performance was far from perfect, and overall I was not all that impressed by the debating skills he displayed. On more than a few occasions, he lost his place and repeated lines he had already spoken. He was far more polished and smooth than Bush, but he was not the uber-debater that I had expected to see. For the most part, Bush was Bush. His speaking mannerisms didn't bother me much. That's who he is and it's something that is almost impossible to change. The smirking and quizzical expressions when Kerry was speaking are nervous habits, also very difficult to break. The thing that really disappointed me with Bush was his failure to exploit openings offered by Kerry. It appeared that he was trying to stay within the bounds of what he had prepared for and was not willing to deviate from it. When Kerry brought up the Kyoto Treaty, I was pleading with Bush to nail him with it by asking Kerry if he would sign it. It's an issue that the Kerry campaign has danced around without coming out with a clear position. Bush also should have asked Kerry what allies he would bring to the table in Iraq. Specifics man. Ask him for the specifics. It was not the President's finest hour. So Kerry won by a slim margin. So what? It was by no means a slam-dunk, runaway victory and there were no major gaffes by Bush that can be exploited later in the campaign. There may be a small bounce from this for Kerry, especially since you know the mainstream media is going to play it to the hilt. But it will not be significant and there may very well be no bump at all. The first debate is not going to do much to get people to tune in for the next two either. It was a dry, relatively passionless affair with little humor and no zingers that anyone will remember two weeks from now. In fact, two minutes after the debate, I was hard pressed to recall any quotes of real substance. From a historical perspective, this might have been one of the most inconsequential presidential debates ever. No one is going to look back on this debate as a defining moment of the 2004 campaign. In both the short and long run, it just won't matter much at all.
It's no secret that I'm voting for George W. Bush next month, and yesterday's debate did nothing to change that. I must admit, however, that John Kerry said a few things last night that really got me to thinking about the validity of his slowly emerging plan to win the war on terror.
Early on in the proceedings, Kerry said: I have a plan to have a summit with all of the allies. And later, we heard him say: I've laid out a plan by which I think we can be successful in Iraq: with a summit... I think that the Senator is really on to something here. Let's get Kerry, Jacques Chirac, Gerhard Schroeder, Vladimir Putin, Ayad Allawi and twenty-seven 12-packs of Summit Extra Pale Ale together in a locked room. Then, have the Senator drone on and on for a few days about the importance of multi-lateralism and about the need to reach out to the Muslim world and about the vaunted 9/11 Commission and about colossal errors of judgment and about the infallibility of weapons inspectors and about opium production in Afghanistan and about the rush to the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time and on and on and on... I'm convinced that before too long, Senator Kerry will be set upon by a quartet of drunken allies brandishing broken brown beer bottles and praying for any solution that doesn't involve hearing this man talk. Better living through beer. I like that. Labels: Beer
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TALK O' THE TOWN 
Listen to the Northern Alliance Radio Network on Saturdays from 11am 'til 3pm on AM 1280-The Patriot:
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