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Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Season's Greetings

The Green Bay Packers are surging in the tradition rich NFC North. With their sixth straight victory yesterday over the St. Louis Rams, they remained bound up with the Vikings atop the division and hold a tie breaker thanks to their victory over the Purple a few weeks ago. All signs point to a climactic show down when the two teams meet again on Christmas Eve at the Metrodome.

Much of the Packers' success last night was due to substitute running back Najeh Davenport. Last night he stepped into the breach created by Ahman Green's injury and produced 178 yards rushing. Young Mr. Davenport seems well on his way to fame and glory.

Which would be a nice change for him, given his recent past of infamy and vainglorious antics. In the interest of knowing our opponents, I'd like to remind Vikings fans exactly who we have to face in a few weeks. This from a July 2002 article in the Miami Herald:

According to the police report, alleged victim Mary McCarthy said she woke up around 6 a.m. on April 1, "to a strange sound, and discovered Mr. Davenport, an individual unknown to her, squatting in her closet defecating into her laundry basket." She called campus security, who tried to stop the defendant and later identified him as Davenport from a University of Miami football yearbook.

Najeh Davenport - a man bringing a whole new meaning to the position of Scat Back.

Despite his being positively identified as the assailant by multiple witnesses, ol' Najeh didn't go gently into that good night. While he did accept a plea bargain on felony and misdemeanor charges, he never officially admitted to his heinous offense. Sports Illustrated reported his comments upon leaving court:

"Where's the evidence? Where's the manure?" Davenport asked outside court. "I know I didn't do it -- I just wanted to get it over with."

An interesting defense. Too bad Davenport didn't have Johnny Cochrane defending him, or he might have beaten the rap, based on the rap: "You must acquit, if you can't find the ....."

I think you know where I'm going with that one, and it's not the high road. The Packers just have that effect on people I guess.

But even with his community service behind him, Najeh isn't clear of complications yet. Seems his victim, Mary McCarthy, has been suffering "severe emotional distress." Just last month she filed a civil suit against Mr. Davenport:

The suit claims Davenport showed conduct "so outrageous in character and so extreme in degree as to go beyond all possible bounds of decency and, further, can only be deemed atrocious and utterly intolerable in a civilized community."

I think any rational person would agree Davenport's conduct is beyond all bounds of decency, utterly intolerable in a civilized community. Which means, in Wisconsin, he probably fits right in.

But, fellow citizens beware, he's coming to Minnesota on Christmas Eve. To be safe, make sure to lock up your doors early. And your laundry baskets. And keep a watchful eye those stockings hanging by the fire with care. Let this paraphrase excerpt of 'A Night Before Christmas' serve as a worst case scenario warning:

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, out the laundry basket he rose;

He sprang to his Hummer, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Where's the evidence? Where's the manure? AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"






Hands Off Leadership

Don't look now, but your Minnesota Golden Gophers, fresh off a weekend spent beating the tar out of Michigan and Michigan State, are the #1 rated team in college hockey according to the latest USCHO.com/CSTV Poll. I'm sure that if the "Minnesota Commissioner of Hockey" had any clue that the college hockey season was even underway (the Gophers are 10-3 overall), that he would try to claim credit for the team's ranking. Shhh...Don't wake him.





Meet the New Trope, Same As the Old Trope

The New Patriots (who write a lot like the Old Socialist Revolutionaries) are regurgitating a report about the US military using Napalm against anti-Coalition forces in the Battle of Fallujah. In the comments, one of them also wearily recycles the old trope:

We had to destroy the village in order to save it.

Although a presumed trump card for the Left for decades, those boys should be aware that no American military or civilian official ever uttered the words "destroy a village in order to save it" during the Vietnam war - or at any other time. It's a myth, an urban legend, a useful tool for those with goals beyond mere criticism of tactical military decisions.

I suspect that fact won't cloud the New Patriots' false moral clarity though. They'll continue being as self-righteous and cynical as ever over "reports" on the methods in which our military chooses to eliminate those who would be happy to cut their heads off, if given the chance. (And no, I'm not talking about Powerline).

But I do caution the New Patriots to watch their facts closely. The real source on those Napalm reports may be as reliable as whoever started the lie about destroying villages to save them. Though that does create a nice symmetry to their credibility.





Another Reason To Fight 'Em Over There

It's much easier. As Charlemagne explains in the November 27th issue of The Economist:

The demographic picture in particular places is admittedly more dramatic. The Muslim population of France is now nearly 10% of the total. And it is officially projected that the three largest Dutch cities will have 50% non-western populations (most of them Muslim) by 2020. Yet even these figures need not be alarming, if Muslim populations assimilate easily. It is here that traditional liberal attitudes are undergoing a re-think. For Mohammed B, the murderer of Theo Van Gogh, was not a marginalised or oppressed figure. He spoke excellent Dutch and was studying for a diploma. It looks increasingly apparent that--as with the 9/11 hijackers--the problem is not lack of integration or opportunity, but a vicious ideology.

Depending on the numbers of people gripped by this ideology, that conclusion could be re-assuring or worrying. The Dutch secret service reckons there are only about 150 Islamic radicals on the fringes of terrorism in the country. This suggests the problem could ultimately be treated as a law-enforcement issue, as with the Baader-Meinhof gang that terrorised Germany in the 1970s. But Mr Wilders quotes Dutch academics who estimate that around 10-15% of the Dutch population of 1m Muslims sympathise with jihadist ideology. He says that the 150 suspected terrorists should be deported or imprisoned immediately. But he also demands a similar fate for those Dutch citizens who endorse jihadist ideology, whether in print, in a sermon or in an internet chat-room. Mainstream Dutch politicians still recoil from such measures, believing them to be incompatible with traditional freedoms, and likely to radicalise Dutch Muslims further. Launching a war on terrorism is one thing; a civil war on terrorism is altogether more daunting.


The problems that the Netherlands and other countries in Western Europe are having with immigration and assimilation should be an eye opener for the United States. And with Republican control of the presidency, the Senate, and the House, you would think that immigration reform would be a critical issue that the GOP could push ahead with.

But you would be wrong. You see Republicans are told not to talk about immigration. We don't want to offend our Hispanic friends you know. Their votes helped elect President Bush and will be crucial in forging a lasting Republican majority. And we need those immigrants to keep the economy moving (just ask the Wall Street Journal).

If you ever wonder why people are cynical about politics, consider the way that the two major parties gingerly step around issues that many Americans would like to see addressed. Immigration has become the new "third rail" of American politics, but it's not the only one that Democrats and Republicans prefer to avoid:

-Social Security: Bush deserves credit for being willing to at least talk about some form of limited privatization of Social Security as part of his "ownership society" platform. But too many Republicans are afraid to be out front on the need for changes in the system. It will be interesting to see if GW can pull his party along for what promises to be a bumpy ride on this one. As for the Democrats, the only time most of them even mention Social Security is when they're trying to scare old people right before an election. Problem? What problem?

-Medicare: Same ticking demographic time bomb as Social Security, maybe even worse. Other than throwing more money at seniors through the prescription drug entitlement, hardly anyone from either party wants to recognize the fact that Medicare is a train wreck waiting to happen. Means testing anyone? Limiting benefits? Hello? Anyone out there?

-Farm subsidies: For years we've heard that we need to start weaning farmers off their government subsidies. Yet year after year the Congress passes, and the president signs, bloated farm bill after bloated farm bill. Most Republicans like to portray themselves as "free traders" and proponents of economic liberty, yet they don't bat an eye as the continue to fund one of the most egregious examples of governmental interference in free markets. Democrats meanwhile, love to buy votes and as far as they're considered the bigger the farm bill, the better.

-School reform: Some Republicans have attempted to get behind real school reform, but the majority continue to pander to the educational lobby and pump more and more money into the failing educational system. It grates me to hear Republicans (like President Bush) boasting about how much they've increased spending on education. You've got a car whose engine doesn't work, has four flat tires, a dead battery, and you're bragging 'cause you just filled up the gas tank again?!? Guess what? It still ain't goin' anywhere. Again, Democrats love to repay their core constituencies.

So far the GOP has been lucky in that the Democrats are beholden to interest groups on most of these issues and have so far chosen to maintain the status quo on them. But that can't last forever.

The one issue that Republicans are probably the most vulnerable on is immigration. I would guess that if someone were to come up with a sound, comprehensive plan to dramatically curtail illegal immigration, reduce the number of illegal immigrants already in the country, and cut back on legal immigration, it would be supported by over 60% of Americans.

If the Republicans choose to continue to whistle past the graveyard and ignore the growing public call for action on immigration, they will pay a political price. Voters may be cynical, but they're not stupid.

Meanwhile in Germany, politicians are looking at the results of the U.S. election (among others things) and wondering if, as another article from The Economist puts it, "It's values, Dummkopf!":

Politics aside, there may be something deeper at work. Germany has always boasted a peculiar mix of liberal and conservative values. Particularly since unification, it has--by American standards--been quite a secular country, though less so than other west European countries. Only a third of Germans deem it "necessary to believe in God to be moral". Institutions such as family, marriage and the nation resonate less among younger Germans. At the same time, most Germans have looked to government to protect the environment and guarantee a social balance. However, this mix seems to be changing--and becoming more "American". People are less inclined to see government as the solution to most problems, and traditional values and concepts are coming back, says Paul Nolte, the author of an influential book on the "metaphysics" of economic reform.

Germany becoming more "American?" Hmmm...Amazing what the threat of home grown Islamic terrorism, a stagnant economy, and a culture fraying at the seams will do to your attitudes.





Monday, November 29, 2004

Stranger Than Fiction

Hey Hugh, how about this one for your list? You do have to suspend your disbelief, but this fantastic yarn gets better with every reading. I suggest every two years or so.





Girls Were Girls and Men Were Men

Scott from Faribault is feeling nostalgic:

Not only do I miss the NHL, but I miss everything captured in that photo.

The NORTH Stars are now the Dallas Stars.

The Blackhawks stink.

And the Met Center is now an IKEA.

Sigh.


Yep, them were the days. I'm going to make a great curmudgeon someday. I can hardly wait.





All's Fair...

Russ Vaughn, usually known for waxing poetically, is today waxing indignantly about what it really means to support the troops:

But, yes, it is true: I do have an ax to grind, although it would give me greater satisfaction to metaphorically bury it in a few carefully coiffed talking heads. You see, what I'm wholeheartedly for is the troops, and not in the sense that most liberal Americans profess to be, in that they believe they are demonstrating their support of the troops by calling for them to be brought home and removed from harm's way. If that's what you call supporting the troops, then take it from an old trooper who's been there and done that, the troops don't see you as supportive at all. They see you as undermining their mission, which is to go in harm's way, with deliberate intent to prevail by force of arms.

What the troops perceive as support is hearing you cheering not jeering when they are seriously kicking the butts of jihadi terrorists. So, on behalf of the troops you support, it's with you peace-at-any-price liberals and your synergistic media pals that I have an ax to grind.






Anybody Does It Better

Lileks does Hewitt. And he does it better than Hugh does himself (by himself I mean the team of web designers greedily siphoning money from Hugh like Kojo Annan suckling at the teat of the U.N.'s Oil For Food program).

The design proposed by James is appealing. Sleak, stylish, and very readable. My only suggestion would be to reconsider having Hugh's mug in such a prominent position. Is that really the face you want to see when you start your day? We're not exactly talking "Morning Glory" here.





SOA Update: Seven Grand High And Rising

We're now past the $7000 mark and overall the Bloggers Challenge has brought in over $28K for Spirit of America.

The Northern Alliance Team has been augmented with the additions of Around The World In 80 Days and the Nihilist In Golf Pants. You know it must be a worthy cause when even The Nihilist supports it. Make your donation here.





Saturday, November 27, 2004

Light Housework

Like The Elder, I feel I must respond to Hugh's implication that we Fraters fellows are less than handy around the house.

I had every intention of putting up my Christmas lights yesterday but, upon reaching the top the ladder, I noticed a few shingles on my roof were damaged. One thing led to another and before long I had re-roofed the entire house complete with cedar shakes and copper gutters.

While I was perched atop my home enjoying the beauty of my handiwork, I noticed that part of the wooden fence that marks the perimeter of my palatial estate looked a bit damaged. I scurried down the ladder and proceeded to dismantle the existing fence and in no time I had constructed a brand new eight foot tall stone wall with two beautiful iron gates and a guard house.

Then, while contemplating what to do with the pile of lumber that had been the old fence, I grabbed a hammer, a box of nails and a hand saw and before nightfall I had constructed a stunning two level addition to my house including two solariums, a bowling alley and a horse barn.

Yes, it was a busy day at Balsawood yesterday. The Christmas lights are still in a tangled mess at the foot of the ladder, however. Perhaps I'll have to hire a hearty Scots-Irish handyman to complete that bear of a chore. It truly is more than a guy like me can handle.





Lit Up

Hugh's right. I did not put up colored Christmas lights on my house yesterday. Because...I had aleady knocked that chore off last Sunday. What I did do yesterday was a little painting. Some caulking. I put new trim on a door. Made a run to Menard's. You know, the kind of things that are just part of a typical day for handy, do it yourselvers like me and Hugh.

Come to think of it, I did string some Christmas lights up yesterday. On our garage (detached). I'm sure a hearty Scots-Irish man like Hugh already has that covered. You do have Christmas lights on your garage, don't you Hugh? Well, don't ya?

UPDATE: Hmmm...Now we've even got colored Christmas lights on our site. I don't see a lot of holiday cheer over at HughHewitt.com. You'd think a real Scots-Irish badass like Hugh could get that taken care.





Friday, November 26, 2004
Red Zone Efficiency

Don't forget to tune in to the Northern Alliance Radio Network tomorrow from noon until 3pm CDT. At 1pm we're going to be joined by Steven Vincent, author of In The Red Zone: A Journey Into The Soul of Iraq.

In The Red Zone is a fascinating look at Iraqi society and ordinary Iraqis. Vincent is a talented writer, who left the hotels of Baghdad behind to try to find out what is really going on in the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people. He has produced an entertaining and thought provoking read, which I highly recommend.

Labels:






'Round the Horn

Check out SCSUScholars for updates on the situation in the Ukraine.

And DoctorZin has the latest on developments in Iran at Regime Change Iran.





You Call That A Brawl?

This is a brawl.



Sigh. I miss the NHL.

(Thanks to Robert for the blast from the past.)





SOA Update: The Beat Goes On

The drubbing of Jeff Jarvis and BuzzMachine continues. The Northern Alliance team now has raised over $6000 for the Friends of Iraq Blogger Challenge. The Challenge will continue until December 15th, so if you have not made a donation yet you still have time.

And you can still join the Northern Alliance team. We proudly welcome Clay Calhoun, Solablogola, The Art of the Blog, Wagonboy, Mangled Cat, and the evangelical outpost aboard.





Because they've done such a great job with everything else...

Let's let the U.N. run the internet (from The Economist-subscription required):

The battle moves to Geneva on November 23rd for the first meeting of the UN Working Group on Internet Governance. Tensions are inevitable among the 40 recently appointed delegates. Many countries are dissatisfied with the way the internet's technical standards are set, the policy for things such as domain names and valuable internet-protocol numbers (used by computers to connect online).

Today, the system is run by the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN). The group was formed in 1998 by America with the help of business and the informal consent of other countries. Governments are represented by an impotent advisory committee.

Many countries complain that even though ICANN is expected to become independent in 2006, it will be placed on a private, industry-led footing rather than under the oversight of governments themselves. The UN group is thus an attempt to ease control of ICANN away from America and place the internet's underlying infrastructure on an intergovernmental basis, much like today's telephone system.






The Candy Man Can

FOXSports.com - NBA - T-Wolves' Olowokandi stun-gunned by police:

Minnesota Timberwolves center Michael Olowokandi was arrested early Thursday after police used a stun gun to subdue him when he refused to leave a club.

Michael Olowokandi was charged with disorderly conduct and criminal trespassing. Olowokandi, 29, was taken into custody about 3 a.m. after he refused to leave Tiki Bob's, said Indianapolis Police spokesman Sgt. Stephen Staletovich.

He was charged with disorderly conduct and criminal trespassing, both misdemeanors, Staletovich said.


Just what the NBA needed. Another role model.





Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Closure

After my bad martini experience last Saturday I knew that the best way to overcome it would be to get back on the horse again as soon as possible. And so tonight, at the Cafe Havana in downtown Minneapolis, I did just that. A "Dirty Martini" with Hendrick's Gin to be precise.

Thankfully, it came just as a Martini should. A chilled Martini glass along with the shaker filled with ice, gin, and just a hint of Vermouth. The waiter poured the Martini into the chilled glass in front of me. Beautiful. I do indeed have much to be thankful for.

SOA UPDATE: The Northern Alliance team has now raised close to $5500 for Spirit of America. Thanks to all who have contributed to this great cause.

Have a great Thanksgiving everybody. Time for me honor a long standing tradition and watch the ultimate Thanksgiving movie. Gobble, gobble.





Bearing a gift beyond price, almost free

Joe Carter has a very intriguing post on Why NPR Beats Talk Radio. He presents six reasons to support his assertion:

1. It's not part of the conservative monoculture

2. There are no callers

3. No commercials

4. No Dittoheads

5. It's not Rush

6. There's no Dr. Laura


He also closes with a plaintive question:

Still, NPR takes ideas, culture, art, and international affairs seriously. Conservative talk radio may touch on the same issues but generally they are either treated defensively ("In our next segment, the NEA's plan to ruin our children...") or as purely political concerns ("Will the genocide in Darfur hurt Kofi Annan..."). Talk radio is merely topical while NPR attempts to be timely.

Mostly when I listen to NPR I wonder why conservatives can't produce something similar. Why can't we have discussions about art for art's sake on the radio? Why can't we have debates about the role of religion without it being subordinated to politics? Why have we ceded all culture to the "liberals?"


Before getting into each of the six reasons that Joe cites to demonstrate NPR's superiority, I'd like to point out some of the difficulties in comparing NPR to commercial talk radio. While they do "compete" in the same medium, commercial talk radio is a business, while NPR is more akin to a government agency. In fact, from my brief experience in commercial talk radio and what I've learned about NPR, I believe that NPR is similar to a university.

While there are administrators who have to worry about fundraising (pledge drives) and attracting students (listeners), the tenured professors (hosts) tend to lead lives of splendid isolation compared to their counterparts in the business world (commercial radio). There definitely are expectations for them, but they don't face nearly the same kind of time, money, and competitive pressures.

Listeners tend to underestimate the amount of time that radio hosts need to put into their shows to deliver quality programs. Most commercial talk radio hosts have a very small, dedicated production staff who work their tails off to come up with the material to do three hours of radio a day (or whatever schedule the particular host has). Often what separates the very good from the good hosts is this production work. I've never been a big of Laura Ingraham herself, but her staff does an incredible job on production and makes the show worth listening to.

Meanwhile, from what I hear, NPR has production resources (and facilities for that matter) that are the envy of commercial radio. If you think that NPR often sounds slicker and better produced, it's because it generally is. Having several production people on hand and state of the air studios will tend do that for you. This is where the money comes in. NPR has the money and spends it like a government agency. No one is "profiting" from NPR, so there really is no reason not to invest in whatever they feel they need.

Which includes salaries. Granted, no one at NPR is going to be hauling down Rush Limbaugh or Al Franken money. But, again from what I understand, six figure salaries are not unusual for the hosts. And the producers, technicians, etc. don't make out too shabby either. While those at the top of the heap in commercial talk radio do quite well, there is a big drop off as you move down the pile. In fact, I understand that there are even some fools out there working for free.

Then there is the timeliness factor. Most commercial talk radio shows are up against the relentless grind of the news cycle and the need to keep on top of it. They usually don't have the luxury of spending a week putting a show together on stories that may be interesting, but not topical. While some of the NPR shows are news cycle driven, most of them are not. They have the time to research topics, script storylines, and hone the production. Most commercial talk radio shows do not.

Why? Because of the competitive pressures of the marketplace. Commercial radio is all about advertisers. And getting advertisers is mostly a factor of your ratings (obviously it's much more complicated that this with targeting specific demographic groups, listener loyalty, and such, but the bottom line is that the more listeners you have, the more you can charge for advertising). Commercial radio needs to deliver results, and usually stations are not prepared to wait very long to see these results.

If commercial radio stations poured the resources, money, and time into a show that NPR typically does, they would be expecting to see a significant return on that investment in a relatively short period of time. NPR has no such expectation. Oh sure, they're not oblivious to their ratings and they wish their programs to be successful. But if the program fails or even falls short of expectations, the consequences aren't the same.

NPR doesn't rely on advertising. Its money mainly comes from grants, corporate sponsorships, individual donations, government funds and selling Prairie Home Companion loofas. None of these streams is tied directly to ratings. As long as the money continues to flow, the ratings of individual shows really don't matter all that much. Commercial talk radio is all about the ratings and it's rare that a station will allow an underperforming show to survive for long.

Finally, to compare NPR to all of commercial talk radio as Joe does is a little deceptive. It allows him to go out and cherry-pick examples of programs that he doesn't like and have them stand in to represent commercial talk radio. I think a better comparison would have been conservative political talk radio with equivalent shows on NPR, but maybe that's for another time.

Let's get to the meat of his argument that NPR is better.

1. It's not part of the conservative monoculture Joe starts off by lumping all conservative talk radio hosts in together as, "middle-aged white male conservative[s] (except for Ingraham, who merely imitates being one)." While I have to give Joe credit for the Ingraham line, this sort of broad brushed depiction of conservative talk radio drives me nuts. Sometimes when people find out that I'm part of a conservative talk radio show they'll say, "Oh, I really don't like those Sean Hannity kind of shows." Know what? Neither do I. I can't stand Hannity's radio show and if anyone ever says that the NARN reminds them of Hannity, I'm liable to hang up my headphones on the spot.

Frankly most of the conservative talk radio hosts aren't all that good. For me, Rush is in a category by himself (more on that later) and then you have the Big Three from Salem: Prager, Medved, and Hewitt. Ingraham and Bennett are a notch below and there isn't a whole lot else out there that I like. O'Reilly and Hannity are vastly overrated bore masters. Savage is entertaining, but his political views are not worthy of serious consideration. On the local scene, I enjoy Bob Davis on KSTP and David Strom and Dwight Rabuse who proceed us on The Patriot, but that's about it.

The truth of the matter is that there is a lot of variety in the world of conservative talk radio. Just look at my Big Three from Salem and their interests outside of politics. Dennis Prager's area of expertise include music, photography, and Judaism. Medved knows history, baseball, and movies. And Hugh...well Hugh knows...he knows a lot about...eh...let's just say that Hugh's a well rounded guy.

Conservative talk radio is not a monoculture. And even if it were, Joe is arguing the position that multiculturalism is in and of itself better, regardless of the merits of the individual. Would you rather listen to three people from a monocultural background who did a great job or three people from a multicultural background who sucked?

2. There are no callers First off, this isn't really true. There are NPR shows with callers. In fact, some of them regularly take phone calls. But, even though it may not be in my self-interest to say this, I have to agree with Joe's contention that:

The opinions expressed by callers are consistently unoriginal and dull. Only on the most rare occasion do the add anything worthwhile to the conversation.

My only caveat would be that some shows, sometimes have decent callers. Medved's callers help make his show, since he typically takes those who disagree with him.

3. No commercials Again, Joe has a point. Commercials are the bane of commercial talk radio. But if you listen to a show enough, you can usually figure out the commercial schedule and plan accordingly. Most of the Salem shows have commercial breaks that you can set your watch to. They start at :07, break at :18, come back at :22, break at :30, come back at :35, break at :40, come back at :45, break at :53, come back at :56 and go until almost the top of the hour. When I listen to these shows, I simply punch up some music during the break, knowing exactly when to come back to not miss any content.

Which seems a small price to pay in comparison to the long blocks of fundraising that you must endure at NPR. Hours, days, sometimes it seems like months of pitiful begging, guilt inducing, and shaming from a place with budget expenditures that rivals those of Third World countries.

4. No Dittoheads I will give this one to Joe. Although he might want to reconsider why:

In all of the years I've listened to NPR, I've never heard anyone praise Terry Gross or Bob Edwards.

5. It's not Rush I concur with Joe that Rush's glory days are behind him. That being said, there still is no match for Rush when he gets on a roll. Unfortunately, those rolls are fewer and farer between these days. And don't even get me started on his callers.

But is not being Rush a good enough reason to listen to NPR? Mike Gallagher isn't Rush either.

6. There's no Dr. Laura This is the sort of cherry-picking that I talked about earlier. I am not a particular fan of Dr. Laura myself and won't make an attempt to defend her show. But again, does she represent all commercial talk radio? Hardly.

If you look at Joe's arguments closer you'll notice a similarity to the Kerry campaign. Lots of negative reasons not to listen to commercial talk radio, very few positive reasons to listen to NPR. I'll give you a much shorter list of why I prefer commercial talk radio to NPR.

1. Commercial talk radio is what it is When you tune in to a commercial talk radio show, you can usually figure out what the host's beliefs and values are in a matter of minutes. You want a liberal slant? Listen to Al Franken. You want soft conservative viewpoint? Tune in to Hugh.

NPR cloaks itself in a veil of objectivity, while typically proceeding in a manner that is anything but objective. I get enough subtle bias, hidden agendas, and template journalism from the mainstream newspapers, networks, and cable news. Radio is a refuge for open and honest disclosure of partisanship. Except for NPR.

2. Commercial talk radio is entertaining Quick, name one NPR show or host that makes you laugh. Please don't tell me that you mentioned Garrison Keillor or I'm going to have to open an above average can of whoop ass on ya. Seriously, is there anything on NPR that truly could be considered entertaining? I once was able to enjoy Prairie Home Companion before Keillor lost his mind a couple of years back and went off on his wacky political bender. What else? Click and Clack?

I'm not talking informative. There are plenty of NPR shows that are highly informative and I listen to some of them. But at some point a good radio show has to be more then informative. It has to entertain. And for the most part, NPR is not anywhere near as entertaining as commercial talk radio.

3. The hosts with the most Tell you what. I'll take Rush, Prager, Medved, and Hewitt. You take any four hosts from NPR. Compare and contrast.

In the comments sections of Joe's post, someone wrote:

I agree with you about the state of radio these days and the superiority of NPR. Mark me down as a conservative fan of Terry Gross and "Fresh Air". I don't think there is a better interviewer in the business and it's because she prepares, i.e., if her guest has written a book, she's read the book.

I read this and my jaw dropped. Terry Gross is the most overrated interviewer on the planet. Yes, more overrated than Larry King. I've listened to Gross more than a few times in the last couple of months and I find her almost unlistenable. If she's talking with an author or a musician, she's tolerable (barely). But if she's interviewing anyone else, she seems lost and out of her league. That includes her interview last week with the guy who voices Sponge Bob. Seriously, she had nothing interesting to ask this guy. My five year old nephew could have come up with more insightful questions. And her inability to follow up when a good line is opened is maddening.

In conclusion, I disagree with Joe's assessment that NPR is superior to commercial talk radio. While I do like some of the shows on NPR, commercial talk radio is more entertaining, has better hosts, and is honest about its biases. And I think I answered his question about why there is no similar conservative alternative. It just would not play in the commercial talk radio market and the only reason that NPR can do it is the way they are funded.

It might be possible (but exceedingly difficult) to establish a separate "conservative NPR." It would be much easier if the current NPR would hire more conservative hosts and air more shows with a conservative perspective. But until they do, I'll stick with the one that brung me.




The Nuts Stop Here

Criticism of Nick Coleman has become a bit of a growth industry of late. Which is great. Many of us veterans in the cause have been suffering from an acute case of Nick Coleman fatigue and have largely abandoned him to his own devices.

It's pointless reading the guy anymore. Three times a week, every week, this wealthy son of privilege writes the same self-righteous, holier-than-thou commentary, trying his hardest to find any angle which he can use to denigrate the average, middle class Twin Citizen. (I know professional journalists have been indoctrinated to the notion that afflicting the "comfortable" is their highest possible calling. But how long can a paper endure featuring as their star columnist a guy dedicated to insulting the majority of its readers? Since they're a virtual monopoly, maybe forever.)

But how many times can we say "he sucks" before the readers naturally rebel with "WE KNOW, what else ya got?" Unfortunately, we aren't a monopoly, so we have to actually care what the readers think.

I also wonder how much Nick Coleman criticism feeds the pathology of the editors at the Star Tribune, leads them to believe he's edgy and controversial and stirs things up, and therefore adds value to their product. It doesn't matter what reaction he gets, as long as he gets a reaction, that proves people are reading him. Throw in all those readers who write in gushing odes to the guy (liberal masochists who love his insults and the thousands in line to profit from Coleman's profligate social spending remedies), and I can see where management at the Star Tribune might think Nick is a hot property. Since they agree with Coleman's political views, all the better. He's granted the position of Columnist-for-Life, drawing a six-figure salary while merrily afflicting this community three times a week, in perpetuity.

In the spirit of the truth setting one free, I have to believe there is a greater good in the blogs voicing their objections to this man. I'm sure we'll all continue to do it to some degree. In the short run, if that means Nick's position is enhanced, so be it.

But, there is another outlet for Nick Coleman criticism that may not have such a positive consequence for his career. Because that outlet has the potential to threaten the monopolistic news cycle of abuse that sustains him. I speak of the Pioneer Press. The St. Paul paper, which hasn't been much of a rival for the Star Tribune. Traditionally, they've been more the junior partner of the liberal establishment press (their record includes being a past employer of Nick Coleman). They've been dominated by the same political perspectives and biases, only with less resources available. As a consequence, they've never been able to make inroads in the Twin Cities in terms of circulation size and ad revenues, and have complacently accepted their subservient role.

Over the past year or so, there have been signs of an ideological change coming. Most prominently, the hiring of Mark Yost on the editorial board and Craig Westover as an editorial contributor. I've been hesitant to declare the Pioneer Press as a legitimate alternative to the Star Tribune. They still have a dominant hard left influence on their editorial board and their news coverage, bolstered by reams of material from the AP and New York Times, is every bit as slanted as the Star Tribune's. But some of their editorials, the work of Westover and usually unattributed work of Yost, have been outstanding. Not just for the "right" political perspective, but also for their quality of prose, intellect, and logic.

A Westover editorial in today's Pioneer Press provides a great example of this. Better yet, it directly refutes a Nick Coleman column. Apparently, newspaper professional courtesy prevents him from naming names, but the references are undeniable. Nick Coleman's column of Nov. 14 started this way:

This is how nuts we have become. In order to teach kids to read, it helps if you have books. But when Zelma Wiley walked into Maxfield Magnet School in St. Paul and took over as principal a couple of years ago, there were hardly any books on the shelves of the school's 21 classrooms and not nearly enough books -- or the right mix of reading levels and subject matters -- in the school's library.

Today's Westover column begins this way:

Preparing for a speaking engagement in St. Paul, Sol Stern read about a situation in the St. Paul Public Schools that was described as "nuts."

And Westover proceeds to analyze and refute Coleman's arguements. A mainstream media editorial page doing to Nick Coleman what the blogs have been doing for years. And doing it a little better (there is something to be said for a professional tone).

Read the Nick Coleman column first. Then the Westover column. (Also posted on his blog.) Compare and contrast the use of logic, facts, and evidence, versus racially-charged, naive, emotional blustering and ill-conceived knee-jerk scapegoating. (What was I saying about a professional tone? There goes my chance to be a community columnist.)

Examples, first from Coleman:

How did we get to the point in Minnesota that we have a school in a minority neighborhood of our capital city where there aren't enough books? If you don't find that situation outrageous, you are part of the problem.

When you are trying to teach reading in a climate of spending cutbacks, hostility from political leaders who control the purse strings and public indifference toward the poor, you are between a rock and a hard place.

We know what happened, don't we? The poor are being punished for being poor and the politicians, instead of doing their damnedest to get things solved, are doing their damnedest to pass the buck. Highways are more important than kids.


Now Westover:

"Instead of accountability for the problem being placed where it belongs, on the school administrators," Stern told his audience, "I read that the problem is not enough money - the last refuge of failed policy. I checked. St. Paul educates a student for about $11,000 a year. This situation is not 'nuts' because we're not spending enough on public schools. The situation is 'nuts' because we're not holding the public schools accountable."

To avoid facing the accountability problem, racism, legislative insensitivity and a public refusal to accept that we don't pay enough for the education of our children have all been offered as excuses for government schools. Ignored is the obvious: that here is a St. Paul school spending more than $11,000 per student per year that let a book shortage problem fester for more than two years until it erupted into a crisis. And all the while, the school is spending that $11K per student somewhere. Makes one wonder: What priorities did the school system place above buying books for kids?

I can't imagine that situation," Molly Whinnery, principal of [private, Catholic school] St. Mark's, told me. "We receive $62 per student from the state to purchase non-religious books. And we have a line item in the annual budget for classroom books and a separate account for library books."

St. Mark's spends a little less than $4,200 a year per student


The ability of this column to expose Nick Coleman, not for being a blithering leftist apologist, but for being a lazy researcher and lousy writer, well, it's like a miracle. Bravo Westover and Pioneer Press management for publishing it.

Conservative subscribers to the Star Tribune, I encourage you consider the Pioneer Press as a better option (and if you cancel on them, make sure to tell them why). I also encourage any readers of this Westover piece to send a note to the editors (letters@pioneerpress.com) expressing your feelings about it. They've taken a bold step by publishing it and they need to know it's appreciated.

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SOA Update: Resistance Is Futile

Craig Westover, People's Republic of Minnesota, Tom York (yes, that Tom York), and Jo's Attic have all enlisted in the Northern Alliance crusade. (Jo also has a good Thanksgiving post that you all should check out.)

We have now reached the $4K plateau and are within a fedora's toss of Roger L. Simon. Overall, over $20,000 has been raised for SOA through the bloggers challenge. If you haven't thrown a few bucks the SOA's way, you can do so here.

UPDATE: FLATLANDER and Helloooo, Chapter Two join the fun.

Folks, our goal for today is to reach five grand. Think about all the quality writing brought to you by the Northern Alliance (and it's many allies) and do your part to keep that writing coming. The next ten contributors will receive a special, limited edition NARN tote bag. Don't wait. With a sweet logo like this, these babies will become collector's items in no time.





Tuesday, November 23, 2004

SOA Update: Join Us, and we can destroy the Emperor

Bogus Gold, Our House, and the Alpha Dogs of the Northern Alliance, SPITBULL, have all joined the Northern Alliance Dream Team.

You can sign up here.

You can make a donation here.

We're over the $3000 barrier and closing fast on Roger L. Simon.





Raising The Bar Or Sprawled Under It?

Piggybacking on Saint Paul's immortal closing words in his post on the return of Twins Geek --"Don't suck"-- Bono offers up similar sentiments in Kenneth Tanner's review of U2's new album at National Review Online:

Neil McCormick reports that after working five-day weeks for about a year the band had nearly the same set of songs ready for release last October, but it sensed an "indefinable magic" was missing. U2 spent another year working to find it. Bono told one reporter, "Whether it's Catholic guilt or whatever it is, it's not on to have this life that we've been given --this amazing life-- and be crap."

That's the same drive for perfection that explains Atomizer's rather infrequent posting.





Blogger, Interrupted

John Bonnes, The Twins Geek, runs the finest baseball blog in town. At least he used to. Last year he was snapped up by the Star Tribune, blogging from their sports pages, and I lost track of him. It wasn't a boycott, I assure you. My quarrels with the bias of the Star Tribune never extended to the sports page. In fact, I've never stopped reading any sections of the Star Tribune, via its website. (Although I'll never again support them via a subscription. I know they get the overwhelming majority of their revenues via ad sales and my Web patronage probably still helps them in that regard. But, as of yet, we haven't figured out a way to deny them on that end. Besides this of course.)

But I did stop reading the Twins Geek. Hard to say exactly why. His new interface was clumsy and irritating. The Star Tribune didn't consistently display the link to his site in the same place. And on some level, his content changed. Again, it's hard to say precisely how, but it seemed more tentative, obvious, dare I say, institutionalized. Kind of like a Jim Souhan column. (What a bland disappointment he's turned out to be so far.) These issues conspired to take the Twins Geek from a daily read down to a once a month, maybe.

I'm sure he didn't miss my traffic, or that from the since removed, highly exclusive blogroll link from Fraters Libertas. He was claiming 100,000 hits a month, which doesn't seem like all that much , given his status a subsidiary of the dominant news website in the market. But he seemed happy about it, so it must have been an improvement. And I'm sure he was getting paid something for his efforts, which is an infinite improvement for a guy coming from the teaming ranks of our blog-for-love proletariat.

But it looks like the gravy train is over for the Twins Geek. In his presumptive final post for the Star Tribune, he announces the end of their relationship. It doesn't exactly sound like he received a gold watch. Or even an email:

This experiment ends this week, I think, since our contract was only valid through the end of October.

"I think"? At least former Reader Representative Lou Gelfand got the courtesy of a death blow phone call, and an opportunity to accept a humiliating demotion, before he got bounced (for allegedly age discriminatory reasons - lawsuit pending).

Unfortunately, it sounds like Bonnes's tenure included a rather strained relationship with his new mainstream media colleagues. They wouldn't let him play any of their reindeer games, for the most base and most ancient motivations of all. Greed and pride. And, oh yeah, Powerline:

But the most serious criticism was from journalists who felt that the weblog was an end-around of their union, providing additional sports coverage without paying the dictated wage to a member of the writer's guild. In the bigger picture, a divisive presidential campaign increased tensions, when biased bloggers would take shots at mainstream media coverage. Many journalists ended up reacting to bloggers the way pharisees reacted to self-proclaimed prophets.

A couple of corporate lawyers in their pajamas expose the corruption of CBS News and ruin Dan Rather, and the vindictive Star Tribune reporters and editors take it out on the most vulnerable target available, the ol' Twins Geek. A sad commentary on maturity and professional ethics, to say the least.

There is a silver lining to this dark cloud of deadly sins:

As soon as I can get my act together, I'll be moving the blog back to my old site, which you'll be able to access at TwinsGeek.com. I'd be honored if you'll continue to join me.

And I will. Welcome home TwinsGeek, back to the land of no union coercion, no dictated wages, and no precious political sensibilities dictating how far you can progress. As you may recall, we just have one rule here for success. Don't suck.





SOA Update: The Alliance Can Die But Cannot Yield

Mitch, Captain Ed, and Power Line have joined the fray. Thanks to your generous donations, we've now passed Jeff Jarvis and taken the lead in the team category. But we can't let down now. The competition runs until December 15th and you can bet that Jarvis and his big media buddies (the most interesting theory I've heard is that Dan Rather is going to be joining BuzzMachine) to launch an orchestrated, below-the-belt smear campaign to secure victory. Those people will do anything to win.

We also would like to take a run at the leaders in the individual category as well. Roger L. Simon's Hollywood cabal seems to be running out of steam (too much money spent on Botox apparently) and Charles Johnson from Little Green Footballs has surged to the lead. Rumor has it that he's being backed by Saudi oil money.

Bill Hobbs from HobbsOnline has also joined the Northern Alliance team. Just because you're not officially part of the Northern Alliance doesn't mean that you can't join the SOA team. We encourage other bloggers to climb onto the bandwagon. Yes, even those damn dirty apes.

UPDATE: Mad Anthony has joined the Northern Alliance team and we're up over the two grand mark. LGF continues to lead among individual blogs, but reports indicate that Roger L. Simon is staying close thanks to a large donation from Alec Baldwin.

UPDATE II: In what may prove to be a dagger to the black heart of Jeff Jarvis, Hugh Hewitt has thrown his ample weight behind the Northern Alliace cause. When Ralphie is with you, who can be against you?





Monday, November 22, 2004

Spirit of America Throws Down

And we pick up the challenge:

Leading bloggers are competing to raise funds to benefit the people of Iraq. 100% of all donations go to needs selected by these bloggers. Many of our projects support requests made by Americans serving in Iraq (Marines, Army, SeaBees) for goods that help the Iraqi people. Other projects directly support Iraqis who are on the front lines of building a better future for Iraq.

You can donate to this very worthy cause via the Northern Alliance team here. Give early, give often.

At this point, our main competition in the team category appears to be Jeff Jarvis from BuzzMachine. Donate now and help us introduce the BuzzMachine to the wood chipper in a manner reminiscent of the Coen Brothers.

Read more about the Spirit of America.

UPDATE: Jim Hake from SOA e-mails:

Thanks for joining the Challenge. Your trash talk re: Jarvis and the Buzzmachine team was hilarious. Fargo is one of my all time favorites.

Do you know if all the other Northern Alliance bloggers going to get involved? What a beautiful thing that would/will be!


King is in. The dominoes are starting to fall.

We need to pick up the pace if we're going to catch Jarvis and his big media money. Meanwhile, Roger L. Simon is raking in dough hand over fist from his Hollywood buddies and running away in the individual blog category. Don't let the elites like Jarvis and Simon get all the glory. Make your voice heard by dropping a donation to the Northern Alliance team. We're the voice of the Joe Six Packs and Sally Housecoats here in flyover country. Help take our country back.





Sunday, November 21, 2004

The Hewitt Tabernacle Choir

Jonathan at Mangled Cat has recently relocated to Utah and is starting a a campaign to bring Hugh Hewitt and his radio show to the Beehive State. Just remember not to let him near a snowmobile. The trees of Colorado have already suffered. Let's not make the same mistake in Utah.





Mailbag

Tim from Colorado disagrees with my views on Target and the Salvation Army:

What is with you this week? First it was the cats and now the Salvation Army?

Is it really that hard to part with your pocket change? That's all they're asking for.

I'm with Hugh on this one. And as a Den Leader, I bypass United Way and give directly to the BSA.

My dad belongs to Optimists International. His Optimist Club volunteered to help the Salvation Army ring bells and collect donations every year, which meant that I was volunteered to help as well. So maybe I have a little more empathy for them. But I also remember the Salvation Army was the first organization to help out at Ground Zero.

Tell you what, the next time I pass a Salvation Army kettle, I'll toss in a little for you too.


I'll give them much more than pocket change if they just approach me in the proper manner.

James from Folsom, CA has my back on the matter:

I thought Hugh was/is a little overwrought on the Target - Salvation Army Kerfuffle as well. Last week, I was walking into the Mall of America via Sears and the second floor walkway and there was the Salvation Army lady at the other end of the walkway ringing her bell. (hmm, that sounds,...).

Have you ever listened to that bell in one of the MOA walkways? You don't know annoying until you've made that long walk. And lord have mercy on the poor Sears employees who work at the register just inside that door. One of them is bound to come out there one day and go all baby seal on her ass.


Rick wishes to share his own United Way story:

I haven't given to the United Way since at least 1988, out of principle. Fortunately, my current employer doesn't use the brownshirted tactics that were exercised at a small privately held company I once worked for. I stopped filling out my United Way card back in 1996 or so, when I realized the purpose of filling out the card was their way of quilting me into donating. Actually, the weird thing was they were more concerned about my filling out that little card than they were my actually giving anything. Once I was actually offered money to sign and turn in a card (I refused). What they spent to achieve 100% participation I don't know, but I would bet if they just gave the money they used on the campaign to charity, everyone would have been ahead.

What really set me against United Way was how some individuals would use the Campaign to ingratiate themselves to management. Guys that wouldn't spit on head if your hair was on fire, were waltzing around in $30 united way shirts, just to the show the boss how committed they were. I wouldn't be surprised that my non-participation had a lot to do with my career stalling there.

Like you, I do my share outside of United Way. By United Way standards, way more than my share.


Finally, Daniel has a minor quibble with my plans for Osama coming back to the US:

How about multiple plastic bags?

Okay with me. As long as his head is in one of them. Intact.





Talkin' Tunes

Terrie has an exhaustive post on Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of all time at Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion. She doesn't cover all five hundred tracks, but does tackle quite a few of them. And she includes a list of songs that she would have added to the list.





Saturday, November 20, 2004

You Call That A Martini?

Went out to dinner tonight to celebrate my Ma's birthday. Timber Lodge Steak House. The food was serviceable, the service passable if a bit annoying (she must have just completed her "upsell" training). And the Lodge Lager was a perfectly quaffable brew. But the all important pre-dinner cocktail left much to be desired.

I ordered a Martini. With Bombay Sapphire Gin. My father did the same.

What we got was a mess. First off it arrived in a Old Fashioned glass, not the traditional Martini receptacle. A minor point of irritation perhaps, but presentation is part of the package. An important part.

Then there was the ice. I was never asked if I preferred my Martini neat or on the rocks. In my book, there should not even be a choice. While proper Martinis are chilled, they don't come with ice. Ever.

Tonight, mine came with enough ice to sink a ship. Not the Titanic mind you, but it could have caused the Andrea Doria to ease into the water like an old man into a nice warm bath. The problem with ice of course is that it's not in a stable state at room temperature. It has a tendency to be transformed into water rather rapidly. Which leads to the dreaded D word. Dilution. Not in my Martini damnit.

The came the Vermouth. I prefer a whisper, a subtle hint of Vermouth in my Martini. Tonight, I had James Carville like proportions of Vermouth in my Martini. Loud, obnoxious, and in my face.

Worst Martini ever? Probably not. Worst Martini in many a year? Definitely. Chances that I patronize Timber Lodge again any time soon? Slim to none.





Mr. Yuck, Stand By

Expatriate Minnesotan Chuck (currently residing in Oregon) writes in to say I may have let the Star Tribune off the hook too quickly yesterday, regarding their use of "seize on" to characterize the Bush administration's referencing the UN Oil for Food Scandal to help justify the invasion of Iraq.

Dear Sir,

Regarding the post, 'Yes, They Have No Bias (Today)', the semantics of the Strib article are curious, indeed. The explanation you received provided some clarification and justification for the usage in question. However, the underlying precept that the Oil For Food hubbub was unknown prior to the Iraq invasion in March 2003 is simply false. It was very well documented. Kenneth Pollack, the former CIA cranium wrench and current Brookings fellow lays out the case in great detail in, The Threatening Storm: The Case for Invading Iraq (Random House, 2002). Just one example of many, I'm sure.

Keep up the good work. I enjoy you guys! Too bad about the Gophers, Vikings, etc.


I like that "Too bad about the Vikings and Gophers" sign-off from Chuck. It's timeless. At any point in the last 40 years, one Minnesotan could write that to another and it would be entirely appropriate and fully understood.

Regarding Chuck's other assertion, that the Oil for Food Scandal was publicized before the invasion of Iraq, I cannot personally verify it. I didn't read Pollack's book, although it sounds fascinating, and I can find no corroborating excerpts on the Web. Furthermore, in order to comprehensively prove the term "seized on" was biased, one would have to show that the Bush administration was using this justification prior to the invasion. My admittedly cursory Web search provides no evidence of this. And neither does my steel trap-like memory of the administration's rhetoric preceding the war.

Dear readers, it does pain me to defend the Star Tribune in this manner. But in this high stakes game for the hearts and minds of the general public, our standards must be high. Yes, higher than even the Star Tribune. For if I was employed by them, all I would need to do is claim "a guy named Bruce" told me the evidence existed.

By the way, I'm about 58% convinced Nick Coleman made up "a guy named Bruce" in his column yesterday. Coleman provided full names for other unfortunate shoppers he ambushed and badgered at Cub Foods on East Lake St. Why does "a guy named Bruce" merit any less journalistic rigor?

And the scenario was a little too perfect for reality. Nick's belaboring the point that people don't care as much as he does for a murder victim, and then some guy arrogantly pulls up in a truck, parks on the exact spot where the victim laid, and he happened to be listening to a right wing radio blowhard? Please. This kind of miraculous coincidence and broad stereotyping is reserved for only the hoariest of clichéd Matlock episodes (the reruns of which are very popular among people in Nick's age cohort).

Speaking of broad stereotyping, Greg (proprietor of What Attitude Problem?) writes in with further skepticism about Nick Coleman and "Bruce":

I don't know, man. I was under the impression that any guy named Bruce was probably gay and therefore couldn't be listening to a rightwing blowhard on the radio. He would have had to have been listening to a leftwing blowhard, and that would have put him smack in the middle of Talk of the Nation with Neal Conan on KNOW 91.1 FM. And frankly, Neal's hardly what anyone would consider a blowhard. I mean, come on, the guy's on NPR. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so.

I don't know about that either. I am unaware of any statistical correlation between the name "Bruce" and alternative lifestyles. If Greg can run that down for us, it could be the key piece of evidence against Nick Coleman in a Jayson Blair like fraud case. And the basis for a class action defamation lawsuit against Nick Coleman by all city of Minneapolis employees named "Bruce."





Steven Vincent Postponed

Due to a death in the family, Steven Vincent will not be appearing on today's NARN show as promised. He will be on next week to discuss his book In The Red Zone, which details his two trips to Iraq and his views on the Iraqi people, the war, and the future of Iraq.

I finished the book off yesterday and I can't recommend it highly enough. You can order it now from Spence Publishing at a special price.





Friday, November 19, 2004
Off Target

First Arlen Specter, now Target. What will Hugh be wrong about next?

I don't want to come off as having a heart full of unwashed socks, but when I heard that Target banned the clangorous cacophoners of the Salvation Army I was actually pleased. Although they may be doing very good works, I find their presence in front of retial stores annoying and quite unnecessary. If I want to get out and do a little shopping, I don't need somebody banging away on a bell and asking me to unload my loose change in a kettle.

I have nothing against the Salvation Army itself. It's just that for me, charity begins and ends at home. During the course of the year, I make donations to many different charitable organizations. I do not however participate in what is becoming the almost mandatory workplace obligation to support the United Way. I don't believe in the stance that the United Way takes on some issues and I definitely don't believe that it delivers the most bang for my buck. But most of all I resent the creeping corporate intrusiveness into what I consider to be a very personal part of my life. What I elect to give or not give to charity is nobody's business but my own. I know this is not directly connected to the Target controversy, it's just that I prefer to take care of my personal giving on my own terms, in private. Not when I'm at work and not when I'm running errands during the Christmas season. And, after all, isn't that the way it's really supposed to be done?

More on Target from Our House and Plastic Hallway.

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Yes, They Have No Bias (Today)

The other day, while reviewing a Star Tribune article about the UN Oil for Food scandal, I came across a paragraph that sent my media bias sensors off. Not content to rage against the machine with a blog post, I wrote that paragraph's author, seeking answers and redress. Here is the unedited exchange, names hidden to protect the innocent:

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Dear Mr. REPORTER - regarding your article on Senator Norm Coleman's investigation into the UN Oil for Food program (published on Nov. 16), I took note of this sentence:

"The Bush administration has seized on the reports to underscore its belief that the U.N. sanctions were not an effective constraint on Saddam's long-term military ambitions, thus providing further justification for the U.S. military intervention."

I find the use of the term "seized on" to be curious. The Merriam-Webster definitions of "seize" being:

1) to lay hold of or take possession by force
2) arrest
3) understand
4) to attack or overwhelm physically: afflict

synonyms: take, grasp, clutch, snatch, or grab

With the exception of definition 3 (which makes no sense in context with your sentence), each one of these terms has a negative connotation. This implies that the Bush administration's use of these reports to provide evidence to its claims (of the need to bypass the UN regarding Iraq), is illegitimate or questionable. Or perhaps that their use of this particular justification is a desperate gesture, as a man would seize a life raft if drowning.

The term "seized on" is clearly value-laden. It seems to me a more balanced, and accurate, term to use would have been "referenced" or "cited". What were your thoughts regarding the use of "seized on"? Or did you not give it any thought, and this was the term that naturally sprang from your own opinion of the situation?

Please let me know, thank you.

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Mr. CURIOUS CITIZEN

Thanks for the note, and your interest. I confess that you gave the phrase a lot more thought than I did.

Looking over your analysis, I would say that the meaning I intended is closest to the first definition you found, i.e., to take possession (forcefully, if not by force). That is, I think it's fair to say that the White House has taken hold of these new reports after the fact, since the allegations about the abuse of the oil-for-food program did not come to light until after the invasion of Iraq. That is not to place a value judgment on what happened. It's merely a fact that these new revelations have been used as further justification for a policy that was in place before they were uncovered. "Seized on..." is a common phrase used to describe a process where new facts are adduced, ex post facto, in support of a previously established argument.

Anyway, that's how I meant it. No negative slant was intended on my part, and I'm sorry if that's the impression you got. Thanks for writing.


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I still contend "seized on" is a negatively value laden term, and that "referenced" or "cited" would be an improvement in objectivity. But the reporter presents a reasonable argument for its use. I commend him for taking the time to explain it to me and I withdraw this specific insinuation of bias. He will not receive today's Mr. Yuk salute.

That is reserved for Nick Coleman, who, in the course of exploiting a murder to bolster his self image as the imperious conscience of the Twin Cities, drops this sentence on the masses:

Outside in the parking lot, right over the spot where Tremaine Finley bled, a City of Lakes street truck pulled up, and the driver got out to go into the grocery and buy a snack. That left a guy named Bruce resting in the passenger's seat, listening to a right-wing blowhard on the radio.

Assuming Coleman didn't just make this whole thing up (a big assumption), this encounter must have occurred sometime yesterday. Meaning "that guy named Bruce" couldn't have been listening to the Northern Alliance Radio Network (12 - 3 PM Saturdays. Replay 9 PM - midnight, Sundays). Which is too bad. We'll take all the publicity we can get - even a vague, snide mention in a Nick Coleman column. (Who was he talking about? That frothing maniac Hugh Hewitt and his wild-eyed campaign to help the Salvation Army?)

Regarding NARN, I'm taking tomorrow's show off. But I have it on good authority that the Elder and the rest of the crew will be blowing harder than ever. And maybe, just maybe, the topic of Nick Coleman will be addressed. And if Nick isn't listening, well, we'll always have "a guy named Bruce" in our corner.

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Come Children, Don't Be Afraid

Another local blog joins the scene. Get in line for pain releasing refreshments from the The Kool Aid Report.





Captain Ed Soft on Terrorism?

Does Ed really think that the prosecution of the war on terror is best left to the courts?!?

Obviously, I'd prefer to see Osama perp-walked back to the US to stand trial for the cowardly murder of 3,000 American civilians, but that seems to be getting closer.

Perp-walking is for the ODBs and Phyliss Khans of the world. The only way I prefer to see Osama coming back to the US is in a plastic bag.





A Footnote to Her Story

This brave new world of information access via the Internet has evolved to the next level with news of this startling development. Fraters Libertas is to be used as primary source material for academic research.

It's true. A dedicated young scholar named Dean has been sentenced to compose a research paper on alleged writer Carol Bly. She's the local author of such grain worshipping classics as "My Lord Bag of Rice." And, according to reports, in the field of self-help victim identity fantasy therapy prose construction, she's some sort of god.

Bly is also the author of the following bon mot, tossed from her precious, sheltered literary perch, directly in the face of we, the people. It's regarding the bankruptcy and closing of Ruminator Books in St Paul:

If America hadn't gone totally junk culture, totally commercial, bookstores like Ruminator wouldn't have any trouble at all," Bly added. "David [Unowsky] would have done just fine at the tail end of the 19th century. You can't sell Shakespeare to someone who comes in looking for a discount paperback copy of 'Reagan's OK, You're OK.' "

To which I was forced to reply, in defense of my beloved country:

I guess I can understand Carol Bly's hostility to success. Her latest page turner is called "My Lord Bag of Rice". Nice title, sounds like a profile of a cult devoted to worshipping Uncle Ben. Which would be a far more interesting topic than what Ms. Bly actually penned:

eleven exquisitely observed stories about sharp-eyed characters who stand a little apart from their peers, nurturing a hardy sense of self-worth in a mostly mediocre world.

Ugh. I just about lapsed into a coma cutting and pasting that description, I can't imagine the torture of actually trying to read that awful crap. But, believe it or not, Carol Bly is an author whose books the Ruminator carried. Carried them right to its grave. Or did Carol Bly and her kind carry the Ruminator to its grave?


Which brings us back to young scholar Dean. Thanks to his college course curricula, he has to endure the torture of reading Carol Bly books. (Where's that Geneva Convention when you need it?) In his tireless research of her, he did some Googling and there on the top of page 5 for 'Carol Bly' he discovered the above FL analysis. Which turned out to be an oasis of sanity for Dean:

I was looking for information on Carol Bly because I have to do a critical research paper on her. I found your comment on her fun and a tension release.

It is so hard to write a 2,000 plus word essay on things that make my skin crawl. I like what you said that you can't read that crap. I can't either. She is an arrogant, self-centered, holier-than-thou, thumb sucking Liberal.

Her books are so caught up in herself and yet the reviewers think she is so unselfish and a great writer, with such good insight, and on and on. Her focus is on man hating and rescuing women, to me it sounds more and more like she is a lesbian.
(SP note - with those qualifications, to me it sounds like she could be a candidate to be Minneapolis's new fire chief.)

Bly gives lectures on college campuses and speaks her views which have nothing to do with the field of literature. In a draft of my paper, I mentioned Bly has gone into liberal political opinions that I don't agree with. My teacher said that this had no place in my paper because she has a right to her opinion. Well I do to and that is mine! But I know for the grade I have to go with the flow.

I certainly empathize with Dean. I don't know what school he's attending, but the conservative dissidents at the U of MN used to refer to the Political Science department as Political Silence. And the English department was far worse than Poli Sci ever was, in terms of forced group think and political indoctrination.

But Dean's right, for now he should do what he needs to do to pass the class. After college, he can start blogging and begin to experience some real intellectual freedom.

Scholars of America and other seekers of truth, if you'd like to read more about Ruminator Books and Carol Bly's insidious role in its demise, check out this other fine blog post. And please send along any footnote citations my way. I just love to be footnoted.





Cancer Benefit

Flash from Centrisity is promoting a cancer benefit today for a man who really could use some help. Check out the details and, if you can, please make a donation to a very worthy cause.





Thursday, November 18, 2004

Don't Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em

Professor Bainbridge debates the merits of smoking bans in a column at TCS:

The mere existence of an externality does not justify legislation, however. In a free society, with limited government and respect for private property rights, at least two conditions must be satisfied before government intervention is warranted. First, my actions must in fact produce external costs. Second, there must be a market failure -- that is, people must be unable to solve the problem without government help.

Because I've conceded the first prong of the test, the merit of public smoking bans comes down to the question of whether the problem can be solved through private ordering. In other words, if we let the owners of private property decide whether people will be allowed to smoke on their premises, will non-smokers be exposed to unreasonable costs?

An affirmative answer is clearly appropriate in some situations. There are some public places in which non-smokers may find themselves a 'captive audience' -- that is, situations in which the non-smoker cannot avoid exposure to secondhand smoke. Government offices that serve the public are a good example. If a non-smoker gets a traffic ticket, he may have no choice but to go down to the courthouse. A smoking ban thus might be reasonable in the court building.

These sorts of situations are quite limited, however. Let's start with the most basic example: my backyard. Should I have the right to smoke a cigar on my back porch, where the only ones who smells it are my dogs? Presumably so, since I'm not imposing on anyone (my dogs seem to like the smell).

If you admit that a ban on smoking in my backyard is not appropriate, let's turn to restaurants. Smoking bans routinely apply to restaurants, but restaurants are clearly places in which private ordering can work and in which government intervention is unnecessary.





None Dare Call It Racism

When we last left cartoonist Pat Oliphant he was slandering the Swiftvets as nothing but drunken redneck wannabes.

Now Peter brings our attention to two cartoons (one by Oliphant) that portray Dr. Condoleezza Rice in a less than flattering, and quite possibly racist manner:

If this cartoon were about a Democrat official it would be viewed as racist, but since it is about a Republican official (C. Rice) it is viewed (by the elite news media) as cute.



Here's another offensive one by Jeff Danziger which depicts Dr. Rice as a barefoot "mammy" . It is reminiscent of the stereotyped mammy in the movie "Gone with the Wind" who remarked "I don't know nothing about babies."



I have a hard imagining that these cartoonists would get away with using the same offensive imagery against a Charlie Rangel or Barack Obama.

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What Dreams May Come

20 days ago, while riffling though my wad of cabbage, I came across a dollar bill with one of those "Where's George?" stamps. I've seen these before, but never had the time, inclination, or memory to register it on the Web site before dispatching it back out into the economy. Fortunately, this one caught me at the right time and right place, so register it I did.

Now, joy of joys, 20 days later I have been alerted that my little George has traveled 434 miles away, all the way to Alma, Michigan. According the to the recipient there, it was procured at the BK Lounge in Ithaca, Michigan. Sadly, no information exists on the Internet about that particular establishment, but the city itself sounds sounds fantastic:

The seat of Gratiot County, Ithaca combines a serene, historic downtown business district with a recently developed industrial park on the east side near the U.S.-27 expressway and beautiful Woodland Park on the west.

A serene, historic downtown business district AND a recently developed industrial park by the highway. It sounds like some sort of Norman Rockwell New Urbanist Eden. It gets better:

Ithaca's population abounds in creative energy, as evidenced in the work of a local sculptor displayed on lawns north of town, several very attractive gift and antique shops, a motel owner who sculpts graceful images of sea life, and a native son, Dick Allen, who has served in the Michigan Legislature, chaired the Michigan State Fair, and founded the DALMAC (Dick Allen Lansing to Mackinaw) Bicycle Tour that precedes each Labor Day weekend.

We'll have to take their word for it that the motel owner's sculptures of sea life are indeed graceful. For they provide no name, and a Google search for graceful motel owners proved to be futile (and rather disturbing). Ah well, maybe someday F2356xxx2D will be exchanged for an elegant porcelain mackerel or something and we'll know for sure. Until then, we can dream.

Dreams - that's the whole point of Where's George. Where will our dreams lead next? Perrinton, Michigan? Mesick, Michigan? Bad Axe, Michigan? We shall see. But wherever George goes, he'll always have a home in my wallet. And he's free to bring any friends named Ben or Ulysses back with him.





Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Sitting Stilla In Manila

In a couple of previous posts, I mentioned that my unusual work schedule had left me with scant opportunity to see much of Manila when I was there last week. But on Friday, I was finally able to break away for a brief tour of the city.

We wrapped up our work for the week at around 3am on Friday morning. My return flight to Minneapolis (via Tokyo) didn't depart until Saturday at 8am, so I had a window to do a little site seeing. A co-worker and I arranged a city tour through the hotel. It was scheduled to depart at 1pm and return at 4pm, which fit our schedule nicely.

It turned out to just be the two of us and our guide Jordan (just Jordan not Michael as he reminded us). We pulled out of the hotel in a minivan at just after 1pm and were off to see the city. Which for the most part meant fighting the incredible levels of traffic which choke Manila. For $22 you too can be stuck in bumper to bumper traffic battling buses, the ubiquitous Jeepneys, taxis, trucks, motorcycles, scooters, bikes, and just about anything else on wheels that you can imagine.

Previous travel experience in Mexico and China (and riding with the Nihlist In Golf Pants) has taught me that it's best to not look straight ahead when you're a passenger in these situations. You don't really want to know just how close you actually come to being pan caked, sideswiped, and rear ended. To say nothing of your own vehicle hitting pedestrians and bicyclists. Multiple times. Close calls aren't the exception but the rule. It takes a special combination of steady nerves and certainty of purpose for a driver to survive such conditions, and as a passenger all you can do is pray that the person behind the wheel who you're entrusting your life to has it. Thankfully, Jordan had it in spades.

And he was a good guide as well. We spent most of the tour driving (or what passes for driving in Manila) around with Jordan pointing out various landmarks. The legacy of the Marcos's still hangs heavy over the city. Literally heavy. I don't know if Imelda or Ferdinand had a piece of the concrete game in the Philippines (chances are they did since they seemed to have a finger in almost everything), but they definitely had an affinity for cement. Building a theater? Cement. An arts center? Cement. The arena where the "Thriller In Manila" took place? Cement. The Filipino Senate building? Cement, cement, and more cement. Okay they did build a palace of coconuts (the aptly named Coconut Palace), but for the most part the Marcos's construction material of choice was cement.

Which gives parts of the city a drab, depressing Eastern European feel. Huge blocky, concrete buildings which have been stained by the omnipresent pollution and oppressive humidity. They probably never were all that attractive to begin with, now they are eyesores which are a blight on the city. And we're not exactly talking about a city with a lot of bright spots to begin with.

One of the things that struck me as soon as I arrived in Manila was the Christmas fervor that gripes the city. Walking off the plane we were greeted by Christmas lights, decorations, and carols playing over the PA system at the airport. There's something strangely unsettling about hearing the strains of "White Christmas" upon your arrival in such a tropical clime. It just doesn't seem right.

And as we drove around the city, we noticed more and more of the Christmas spirit. Stores along the sides of the road offered hundreds of circular ceramic Christmas decorations that featured an array of colorful lights. A giant Santa loomed over the entrance of an amusement park.

We stopped at a park near the U.S. Embassy which featured a memorial to the National Hero of the Philippines, Dr. Jose P. Rizal who was executed by the Spanish in 1896. As we strolled through the park, sweating in the midday sun, eighty-five degree temperature, and high humidity, we were once again treated to the sounds of Christmas carols as "Winter Wonderland" blared from the park's loudspeakers. It was very surreal. The park also featured a bust that I initially took for Joseph Stalin. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be simply another hero of the Philippines.

One of the interesting stops on our short tour was a visit to the Intramuros: the walled city originally constructed by the Spanish in 1571. During the days of Spanish rule there was a large moat around the Intramuros. After Admiral Dewey helped force the Spanish to cry "no mas" in the Spanish-American War, the United States took control of the Philippines and the Intramuros. The Yanks promptly filled in the moat around the walled city, and, in an act that I find quintessentially American, they built a golf course. Where you can still swing the sticks to this day (this is a shot of the tee box on the first hole).

Fort Santiago is located within the Intramuros near the point where the Pasig River enters Manila Bay. The fort was built by the Spanish and served as headquarters at various times for Spanish, American, and Japanese military forces. It was destroyed during the Battle of Manila in 1945, but has been reconstructed (although it is still a work in progress). The place reeks of history (or was that the river?) and as you walk around you can almost visualize the events that took place there. The cell where Dr. Rizal spent his last day on earth has been moved to the fort and a statue and museum dedicated to his life. You can also visit the Wall of Martyrs, in memory of the 600 Filipino guerrillas and civilians whose bodies were found inside the fort after it was liberated in 1945.

The last stop on our three --now turned five-- hour tour was the American military cemetery. It would turn out to be the highlight of the day. The cemetery is an eerily beautiful and sobering place. It's layout is spectacular and the scenery is breathtaking. The lavish landscaping and perfectly manicured grounds give it the appearance of a botanical garden.

We arrived shortly before the cemetery was set to close and so were alone except for a few workers refurbishing the memorial hemicycles. Alone with 17,206 white marble crosses and Stars of David marking the final resting of American servicemen who fell in the Second World War.




There are also 36,285 names inscribed in the walls of the hemicycles, listing soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines whose remains have not been identified or were lost or buried at sea.




It was an overwhelming experience to walk among the crosses, stopping to occasionally read the names of the individual servicemen. I was struck by the fact that, in twenty cases, two brothers lay buried side by side. Words cannot do justice to the feelings that such a place evokes, and so I'll leave it to pictures:

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

We were at the cemetery on November 12th, and the memorial tower was still decorated with wreaths sent by various countries in honor of Veterans Day. I was grateful that we had been able to visit the cemetery that day, and I could not imagine a more meaningful way to fully appreciate the sacrifices of our nations veterans. The tour of Manila proved more than worth the time and money.


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Hello Kitty

There is a wave of hate and intolerance sweeping over the blogosphere these days that threatens to swamp the bridges connecting the community, leaving isolated islands of ideologues unwilling (and unable) to engage in civilized discourse with those whom they disagree with.

Red versus blue? No, I'm afraid it's far more divisive than that.

Dogs versus cats.

It was bad enough when the oppressive, jack-booted heel of Professor Bainbridge came down on those of us who fancy cats as he proposed that we should be stripped of our rights and sent to detention camps:

Except for those unAmerican cat lovers, all of whom should be sent to Guantanamo forthwith.

Now, our own sweet hearted Atomizer has joined the fascist feeding frenzy (literally) with his ALF-like vow to start feasting on felines:

Consider me a changed man. Beginning tomorrow, I'm going to start eating cats.

Have you sense of decency sir? Using poodles as bait is one thing, but I will not stand idly by while you threaten to start grilling up kitten kabobs. A line has been crossed. And that Christmas dinner party you were talking about having is sounding less and less appealing.





Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Maybe Sewer Rat Really Does Taste Like Pumpkin Pie

Those fun loving goofballs at PETA are at it again. Their new campaign, the Fish Empathy Project, is the latest in a long line of tactics aimed at making life miserable for biped humanoids. In this instance they want fish added to the growing list of things we cannot eat:

"No one would ever put a hook through a dog's or cat's mouth," said Bruce Friedrich, PETA's director of vegan outreach. "Once people start to understand that fish, although they come in different packaging, are just as intelligent, they'll stop eating them."


Believe me, if sticking a hook in a poodle's lip and dragging it behind my car resulted in landing a big old juicy steer, I'd do it in a heartbeat. It's just not that practical. After a few miles there's not much left of the bait and it's really hard to drive when your back seat is full of yelping puppies.

I must admit, however, that these animal rights nut jobs might really have a point here:

Touting tofu chowder and vegetarian sushi as alternatives, animal-rights activists have launched a novel campaign arguing that fish - contrary to stereotype - are intelligent, sensitive animals no more deserving of being eaten than a pet dog or cat.

Consider me a changed man. Beginning tomorrow, I'm going to start eating cats.





On The Origin of Species

We are saddened to report that Ben will no longer be gracing the cages at Infinite Monkeys. He is evolving to move on to bigger and better things, and we wish him all the best in his new upright walking position. Ben brought a sense of class and civility to the band of damn dirty apes at Infinite Monkeys and his contributions will be sorely missed.




In The Zone

Be sure to tune in to the Northern Alliance Radio Network this Saturday. Steven Vincent will be joining us in the second hour to talk about his new book, "In The Red Zone: A Journey Into The Soul of Iraq":

In the Red Zone, an American journalist's account of his daring solo expeditions through post-Saddam Iraq, is a vivid, frank, and unforgettable portrayal of the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people. An eyewitness of the 9/11 attacks, Steven Vincent went to Iraq to experience the daily realities of life and death in the crossfire of the war on terror. His report is essential for understanding America's enemies and allies in the critical but confusing struggle against radical Islam.

Steven Vincent journeyed twice to Iraq, paying his own way, traveling without security or official connections, living by his wits. His four months in the war zone included a foray into the infamous Mosque of Ali in Najaf, a confrontation with Ayatollah Sistani's bodyguards, a brush with death in a Karbala bombing, meetings with assorted Western "peace activists," and run-ins with Iraqi "authorities" who alternately suspected him of being a CIA agent and a terrorist.

Vincent's encounters with doctors and cab drivers, imams and housewives, politicos and poets-and one unforgettable woman in Basra-provided him with special insight into what Iraqis think of their liberation, of America, and of the war. He describes a tormented society whose inhabitants-troubling, infuriating, yet often inspiring-survived the ghoulish dictatorship of Saddam Hussein only to face the death cult of radical Islam.

The war on terror and the war in Iraq, Vincent concludes, are closely connected. Victory in both conflicts requires that we look with a sympathetic but unsparing eye at the Iraqi people and the whole Islamic world.


I cracked In The Red Zone open last night and flew through the first sixty pages. It's an engrossing read as Vincent provides a perspective on Iraq rarely seen in the mainstream media. Vincent was not working for any news organization when he made his two trips to Iraq. He went there on his own and spent his time talking with ordinary Iraqis. He relates their feelings on Saddam, the invasion, America, peace activists, and foreign journalists with understanding and wit. I look forward to polishing off the rest of the book this week and talking with Vincent on Saturday.

You can pick up your copy of In The Red Zone from Spence Publishing at a special discounted rate of only $13.97, which is a heck of a deal.

UPDATE: Vincent has a piece at NRO today on Art & the election:

In truth, anyone who --like me-- has spent time in the company of artists, critics, and dealers knows that, east of Hollywood, a more narrow-minded, parochial, morally myopic lot you're not likely to find. Especially when it comes to politics, where the narcissistically fashionable anti-Bush, anti-Iraq war, anti-American sentiment typical of our "creative class" holds total dominion. Now, if our artists' "activism" produced decent art, we might, I suppose, excuse it as the necessary foibles of a class of people who, like rock-'n'-roll performers, are paid to remain forever adolescent. Unfortunately, given the unrelentingly jejune, cynical, ugly, ill-conceived, and utterly predictable results we see in the galleries, such is not the case.

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Monday, November 15, 2004
Finger In The Dike?

Andrew Stuttaford at NRO on the murder of Theo Van Gogh and the misplaced concern about religious fundamentalism in the United States:

Amid all the weird, wild wailing in Manhattan, amid the hot air and hysteria in Hollywood, amid all the crazy-lady shrieks of mainstream-media anguish (yes, Maureen, I'm talking about you) and the banshee howling of liberal complaint, Americans heard one overarching theme from the disappointed and distraught left -- one meme, one fear, one insult that finally spoke its name. Jesusland (that's what they call it now) had won. The America of Jefferson and Madison had fallen, delivered by Karl Rove into the hands of ranting theocrats, holy rollers and the monstrous ghost of William Jennings Bryan. Writing in the New York Times, an overwrought Garry Wills had this to say:

The secular states of modern Europe do not understand the fundamentalism of the American electorate. It is not what they had experienced from this country in the past. In fact, we now resemble those nations less than we do our putative enemies.

The title of his article? "The Day the Enlightenment Went Out."

Oh really? If it was the fate of the Enlightenment for which Mr. Wills feared, he would have done better looking some 3,000 miles to his east, to lovely, wounded Amsterdam, a city once famed for its brisk, North Sea tolerance, a city that now mourns the death of an artist killed for speaking his mind. On November 2, the very day of the election that was to so sadden Garry Wills, an assassin in Amsterdam murdered the filmmaker Theo Van Gogh -- shot him, stabbed him, and then butchered him like a sacrificial sheep. Van Gogh, you see, had transgressed the code of the fanaticism that has now made its home in Holland. And for that he had to die.


Read the whole thing.

Three Dutch men were in attendance at the meetings that took me to Manila last week. Although most of our time was spent talking business, we did have a chance to briefly discuss the murder of Van Gogh and the clashes between police and Muslim extremists in The Hague. They all agreed that The Netherlands has a serious problem on its hands, and things are going to be getting much worse if actions aren't taken to address the situation. It will be fascinating to watch how the Dutch elect to tackle this problem, and may be an indicator of how the rest of Europe comes to grips with a growing threat from within.

Arnaud de Borchgrave at the The Washington Times, is calling it "a mini clash of civilizations":

Could the Netherlands be a curtain-raiser for a wider clash of civilizations in the old Continent? Hundreds of thousands of young Muslims in Europe are potential jihadis, according to European intelligence chiefs speaking not for publication. They have been warning their political masters about the tinderboxes that many Muslim communities have become. Jihadi volunteers are known to have left for Iraq from a number of Muslim slums on the outskirts of major European cities.

Many Europeans have preferred to ignore the danger from Islamic extremism in their own countries, which has been building for years. The Dutch are discovering that there's a limit to how long you can keep your head in the sand.

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Sunday, November 14, 2004

Sullying Mr. Hewitt

Terrie at Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion, suggests a new verb be added to the blogosphere's lexicon:

Sul·lied
Inflected form of the transitive verb sul·ly
Antonym: un·sul·lied
1. Tarnished by citing Andrew Sullivan or a similarly unreliable source: He sullied his argument by quoting Andrew Sullivan on Monday as Sullivan changed his mind by Friday.
2. Cited by Andrew Sullivan or a similarly unreliable source: Andrew Sullivan sullied such-and-such blog by using the blogger's words against his own friends.

This week Hugh Hewitt cited a post by Andrew Sullivan which suggested that opposition to Arlen Specter's elevation to Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee is something short of sane. I am bullish on Hewitt, bearish on Sullivan, and hawkish on Specter. Hugh, a gentleman and a scholar, might feel sheepish when he realizes that his argument has been doubly sullied.






It Ain't All Bad

The latest (and probably last) round of reader reaction to my one fingered victory salute. Not everyone felt the hate.

Let's start with Michael from Omaha:

After the election I took a break from my favorite blogs - I was suffering from political-exhaustion. But I just read your one finger salute post, and I really couldn't agree more. I think you guys need to be doing more good work like that - maybe then I won't neglect you for upwards of a week. Keep it up.

Got that Atomizer? More heated outbursts, less mash notes to your wife.

Glen from Phantom Of The Blog in Scottsdale, AZ lends his support as well.

Steve from Grand Forks raises an interesting point:

Just saw the one-fingered salute news. I know the feeling.

But I feel constrained (I'm the sort of guy who can't stand that every MSM reporter reports that the Iraqi kidnap victims are "kneeling" before their captors and before their beheadings, while running video or photos of the poor souls sitting) to point out the logical, anatomical, numerological and personal inconsistency between the two imperatives: "Go f*** yourself," and "F*** you."

I'm not prepared to develop an answer to the conundrum.


And neither am I. It's one for the ages.

We continue with David from Pittsburgh:

Why is it only "hate" when it comes from us? You were not expressing feelings of hatred, you were just releasing pent-up anger. That sort of thing is actually quite healthy. Those rebuttals from the individuals with whom I have the misfortune of sharing a first name are turning the debate into a game of "I know you are, but what am I?"

And one need not be angry to be accused of hatred. A dozen years past, a co-worker of mine was shocked to learn that I listened to Rush Limbaugh. "Dave," he said, "are you a hater?" Now what the heck does that mean? At the time, I knew of Rush as a funny guy on the radio with whom I shared many views on politics and current events. Suddenly, I had someone accusing me of the worst sort of thought crimes while suggesting that I didn't have a thought in my head that had not originated with words spoken into the golden EIB microphone. Finally, "Is he your hero?" Gimme a freaking break. No one should treat the concept of heroism so casually. When someone rescues me from a burning building, or sacrifices his/her life to rescue myself and others, then that person will be my hero.

I was only working at a book shop then. Today I work at a university library. I have no desire to discuss elections, politics, or personal philosophies with my wonderful co-workers, the epitome of, as you say, "the tolerant and open-minded left that we've come to know and love." Their brand of tough love might just be a bit too heavy to take.


Finally, an anonymous "fan" in California writes:

Hi there! thanks for the site... confirms my suspicions that the American Right has gone zonkers! you guys are certifiably insane!

Still Love ya.... bye
(yer hero o'reilly...the one with a dildo up his ass...he's funny too!)


For the record, our views on Bill O'Reilly are not exactly fawning.





We Are Talking About A Whole New Paradigm Here Folks

There has been a lot of talk about what direction the blogosphere will take post-election. What topics de jour will dominate the news cycle? What will be the next hot meme that catches on?

The only input I can offer is to expect the unexpected. When you've got Scott "The Big Trunk" Johnson at Power Line writing about the the death of ODB (Ol' Dirty Bastard) and Ghostface Killa, all bets are off.

SAINT PAUL ADDS: It's officially a meme. The Nihilist in Golf Pants provides more analysis on the implications of the death of Old Dirty Bastard. Excerpt:

From what I've seen of ODB, it's hard to tell if he was dangerous to others or just himself. Certainly, music lovers of the world will miss his slurred, nonsensical, yet hyper rapping. A baker's dozen or more kids will miss their daddy, although most would probably have still missed him if he was still alive. Numerous ho's will miss their man. On the other hand, security officers can breathe a bit safer and taxpayers will have to shell out a bit less on food stamps. All in all, Ol' Dirty Bastard is far more deserving of a kind eulogy than Yasser Arafat.




Then get me his non-union Filipino equivalent!

One of the pleasures of my week in Manila was picking through the Philippine Star, an English language newspaper delivered to my hotel room daily with the inspired motto "The Truth Shall Prevail." The front page usually featured lurid tales of kidnappings (Filipinos [a.k.a. Ninoys] kidnapped overseas and foreigners kidnapped in the Philippines), graft and corruption among government and military officials, and political intrigue that would make Boss Tweed proud. One of my favorites was the feel good story of a cop who won an award for honesty and integrity. The reason he was being recognized? He found a bag on the street with several thousand pesos inside and turned it in rather than keeping it for himself.

But the real fun was found on the editorial pages. Unfortunately it appears that the Star's web site does not include archived columns or else I would have a half dozen examples of some of the most bizarre opinion pieces I've ever come across. Here is one of my favorites that I was able to capture:

I'm terribly sad and sorry Sen. John Kerry lost the US presidential elections to incumbent George Bush. Kerry could have restored balance, equilibrium and a strong sense of sanity to America's handling of international affairs. But the Massachusetts senator probably came at the wrong time. He was up against a majority of mainstream America that looked at George W. Bush as the Redeemer who, all by his lonesome, could stand up against the international terrorist, win, and win again.

Virtually the rest of the world didn't think that way. They hated Bush, reviled him as no other, particularly the French, the Germans, and even the ordinary Briton, who thought the US president deserved to hang from the nearest lamppole. Well, if the Americans are indeed convinced George W. Bush deserves a special sash and sword, let them. They will find out soon enough Dubya is a phony, a tinsel tinntinnabulator, who, if not stopped soon enough, will bring his country to perdition.

America's power is transient.


Slandering, irresponsible, childish rhetoric unsupported by fact? Hmmm...If the Star Tribune is looking to cut costs, I think I see an opportunity for some off-shoring here. Why continue to pay Nick Coleman his extravagant salary when you can get nearly the same level of hackery at a fraction of the cost?

Senor Benigno does need to work on his civic pride a bit though before he's ready to grace the pages of the Strib. Ending a column with a line like this is not going to play as well in the US as it apparently does in The Philippines:

That's how stupid a people we are.

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Friday, November 12, 2004
Where In The World Is The Northern Alliance?

Tonight, substitute hosting for Hugh Hewitt on the appropriately titled Hugh Hewitt Show. Locally heard on 1280 AM, the Patriot, 5 - 8 PM. Nation-wide on this network of fine broadcasting entities.

Tomorrow, hosting the appropriately titled Northern Alliance Radio Network. 12 Noon - 3 PM, on 1280 AM the Patriot (and streaming live on the Web). Rebroadcast, same station, Sunday night from 9 PM - midnight. And (at last word) rebroadcast again from midnight to 2 AM. I realize that's an hour shorter than the full broadcast. So either they lop off the last hour or play the whole thing at an accelerated rate of speed. If you've ever wondered what Alvin and the Chipmunks would sound like rabidly advocating for a Conservative Theocracy to spread across the land, now's your chance to find out.

Also tomorrow evening, the NARN will be appearing at Keegan's Irish Pub, for its gala salute to the military. Leatherneck/publican Terry Keegan will be treating all active duty, reservists, and vets to their first drink free. Also appearing will be a representative from Soldiers' Angels, a nonprofit group ...

dedicated to ensuring that our military know they are loved and supported during and after their deployment into harms way.

So, if you're active duty, a veteran, or just a proud citizen of the USA wishing to honor the service of our soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines, and guardsman, be sure to come on down, it's going to be a terrific event. The action starts about 5 PM and goes until the last Marine stops drinking. Or until the Shore Patrol arrives and carts us all off to the brig.

Folks who may not be regular visitors to the cozy Minneapolis neighborhood surrounding Keegan's, be warned, the city enforces the parking meters until 10 PM. Just a few weeks ago, it was free after 6PM. But the public servants at the Minneapolis City Hall bumped it up to 10PM, without prior warning (and I've got a $30 parking ticket to prove it).

As a public service, let me make all of you aware of another Minneapolis parking meter law that could affect early arrivers:

It is only legal for a vehicle to park at a meter up to for the length of time permitted at that meter. For example, if you're parked at a four-hour meter, it's illegal to re-plug and continue parking at that meter after the four-hour time limit has expired.

No worries though - there's a big, beautiful, and privately-owned parking ramp right behind Keegan's. But needless to say, Keegan's will not be hosting a gala salute to municipal bureaucrats any time soon.

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Sympathy For The Devil

Pssst...Hey, CNN International, c'mon here a second. I got somethin' for you. You know that Yasser Arafat guy who you've been drooling over with non-stop coverage for the last twenty-four hours? Well, you see he was quite the terrorist in his day. Yup, blowing up innocent women and children was his bag. He also was a corrupt megalomaniac who stole from the very people he (and now you) claimed that he was fighting for. So maybe, I don't know...you could tone down your enthusiastic eulogization just a tad. It's really becoming quite unseemly.

More from Considerettes.





Feel The Love

More follow-up e-mails on my one fingered victory salute.

Dave asks some questions:

Ok, I read your websites comment on salon.com. So, I just want to know what makes you'all so hateful?

Some of my favorite sources of info are NPR, NYTimes, and Minnesota Pulbic Radio. I think Garrison Keillor is great, and, although I don't listen to Al Franken, I did enjoy his book. I also read one of Ann Coulters books, and found it full of s*** and lies. Molly Ivins is great.

NPR has as many conservative guests as "liberal" guests.

Just to let you know, I am a veteran and I graduated fro UT Austin, among other colleges.

So, what makes you'all so hateful?


Must be those heaping bowls of hate we eat for breakfast.

Dave from Venice, California makes an offer:

Please, Please. If you ever get to Venice, California look me up. I would love to wash your mouth out with a brick.

Ah yes, the tolerant and open-minded left that we've come to know and love.

Bmiller adds:

dude, get your head out of your farce-loving ass and smell the mutual mindf***. left-wing right-wing? what a bunch of illuminati powerbroking bulls***. this is how it really is and this and this. (don't be a closed-minded pussy--just read!). until we wake up, we're all f***ing ourselves quite admirably.

Uh...okay dude.

Finally, Joe reports that we're not the only ones in the profanity business.





Thursday, November 11, 2004

They Represent the Lollipop Guild

For more on the reaction by the press to the Bush mandate, reader Gary Larson directs us to this essay, Hysteria in Oz. Excerpts:

Look, I am all for giving the Munchkins a week of mourning. They lost another reasonably close election and their love of power is intense. It is tough on them. But I am not prepared to let them rewrite history or distort reality.

Count me among the red state Bush supporters who are pretty tired of all the whining and complaining by Democrats about the Republican attack machine. The simple truth of the matter is that the Democrats have aligned themselves with the idiot left and that is why they are losing elections. Had Kerry denounced Michael Moore and Gore Vidal, and like-minded conspiracy nuts, he might well have shown the nation he was ready to lead. But a presidential nominee who cannot make up his mind on even obvious issues has not earned the right to lead the nation in a time of war.





The Institutional Voice of the Dominant Newspaper in the Market

Craig Westover has taken note of the professional tone present in the presidential endorsements and post election commentary of his own Pioneer Press versus the Star Tribune. And I must say I agree. Beyond the fact the Pioneer Press endorsed our man W, the endorsement itself was a joy to read. At least it was for those of us who appreciate the use of logic, the building of evidence to support a conclusion, and at least the attempt to honestly persuade.

I defy even the defenders of the Star Tribune to explain the following editorial excerpts as anything other than what they appear to be - wild, exaggerated, juvenile bluster, attempting nothing more than settling scores and assuaging wounded egos. As you're reading, remember, all of these unsigned editorials represent the institutional voice of the dominant newspaper in the market.

From the Star Tribune's endorsement of John Kerry:

Kerry recognizes that to prevail in the struggle against terrorism, America must return to the moral high ground rather than unilaterally pursue a perverted, narrow vision of its national interest.

He would reverse Bush's devious dismantling of environmental protections, and he would preserve the safety net that protects America's most vulnerable citizens.

[Bush] has proved to be the most divisive, insular and partisan president since Richard Nixon. He ran as a moderate, but has pursued radical goals that have plunged the nation into debt and injected the government into the most personal of family matters. He promised to conduct foreign policy humbly, yet he repeatedly spurned allies, culminating in his arrogant and misguided rush to war on Iraq.


From their post-election assessment of what the Bush victory means for the country:

Looking ahead, Bush faces an enormous, uphill struggle to keep Iraq from turning into a disaster. Should he fail, and should the right insist on trying to force-feed America its radical social agenda, the 2006 midterm elections could bring real congressional grief to the Republicans. This is still a centrist, tolerant society, and any effort to remake it into a conservative theocracy will bring swift, decisive repudiation.

From their day after election requiem, explaining what happened to create the conditions of Bush's victory:

Also on the Web for the first time in this campaign were the bloggers. Much of what they passed off as political analysis was little better than rumor-mongering and garbage-peddling.

But some of them performed heroic jobs fact-checking the candidates, challenging the traditional media and, in the latter days of the campaign, acting as an early alert system for voting problems.


Interesting for them to condemn certain bloggers as rumor mongers and garbage peddlers, while celebrating others as heroes. Who's who? Should I be insulted or gratified? We'll never know. In their typical style, the Star Tribune can lob personal insults from the editorial page and never have to explain anything - the confused readers be damned. In their defense, it is much easier engaging in vague innuendo, since they don't have to worry about getting heroically fact checked about anything later.

It is curious for them to compliment ... someone ... for fact checking candidates and challenging the traditional media. Here in the real world, the most prominent example of that is our friends from Powerline. They became nationally prominent for their exposure of John Kerry's fictitious Christmas in Cambodia stories and for their investigation into the use of fraudulent documents by CBS News to attack on the President. By any reasonable interpretation, that's fact checking candidates and challenging the traditional media. But, you may recall, during the campaign the Star Tribune didn't see fit to compliment Powerline. Instead, they called them "fraudulent," "immoral," and "smear artists."

(Note, I had to link to a Powerline post for documentation. The Star Tribune archives have been purged of any evidence of Jim Boyd's dual melt downs of a few months ago. Curiously, if you want to find a collection of Jim Boyd's other work, from as long as 5 years ago, it's not a problem.)

So, did the Star Tribune have a drastic change of heart on Powerline? Or are they referring to some other set of bloggers as the heroes? We'll never know. The institutional voice of the dominant newspaper in this market chooses to speak in riddles on this one.

They weren't so mysterious with regard to another group that had an affect on this past election.

There was quite a lot of bad and ugly, typified by the Swift Boat Vets for Truth and the Sinclair Broadcasting Group's effort to broadcast a smear as "news." To a lesser extent, Michael Moore was guilty of the same thing with his conspiracy theories in the film "Fahrenheit 9/11."

The worst aspect of this campaign was the Swift Boat Vets and POWs for Truth. They're worse and uglier than Michael Moore - a man who has done more to spread anti-Americanism and encourage our enemies than anyone in history. Take this example from Derbyshire:

I was talking to some young English people the other day. They didn't know much about U.S. politics, and half of what they knew came from watching Fahrenheit 911. They knew there was something fishy about that movie, and giggled in a slightly embarrassed way as they played back the opinions they had picked up from it; but those were in fact their opinions faute de mieux(*), and some of them will stick. In cultures yet further removed from our own - in China, in Latin America, in India, in the Muslim Middle East - Moore's poisonous brew is swallowed without a hiccup, and has become the stuff that "everybody knows..."

And, according to the Star Tribune, he's not as "bad" or "ugly" as the Swift Boat Veterans and POWs for Truth.

I can understand their resentment against those veterans for effectively working against their personal political interests. But this level of disrespect is astonishing - and revealing. Remember, the Swift Vets and POWS are men who risked their lives to serve our country in a war. They suffered grievous injuries. Many were prisoners of war. They include a Medal of Honor winner. Their ranks include Democrats, Republicans, and independents and they organized only for the purpose of preventing John Kerry from exploiting their records for his personal gain. They only wanted to tell the story of what they experienced in Vietnam and the effect of John Kerry's antiwar activities on their lives, during and after the war.

And for that sin they were first ignored, then ridiculed, then slandered by the press. Now the Star Tribune calls them with "bad" and "ugly," worse than Michael Moore." This is the equivalent of Lawrence O'Donnell repeatedly shouting "liar, creepy liar!" at John O'Neil on MSNBC. And this is the institutional voice of the dominant newspaper in this market.

I wonder if the Star Tribune editorial board laughed and congratulated each other after putting together this anonymous attack against the vets. And I wonder how many of these same editors were insulting and laughing at these same servicemen when they first came home from the war, all those years ago.

Today, November 11, is Veteran's Day. People of good conscience, across all political orientations, honor the service of those who have gone before. And we pray for those currently fighting and dying to protect us all.

After seeing the Star Tribune's treatment of our veterans, I'm not sure we can consider their editorial board as people of good conscience. And I can't imagine why a veteran would ever give a dime to the Star Tribune again.

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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Reality Bites?

The honeymoon is over. I mean this literally, of course. The lovely Atomizerette and I returned home from our post-nuptial jaunt to San Francisco a few days ago and it sure didn't take long for our lives to drift back into the realm of the mundane.

For eight wonderful days I enjoyed the exclusive company of the love of my life as we roamed from the vineyards of Napa Valley to the vibrant piers of Fisherman's Wharf with not a care in the world aside from deciding where we would be stopping to dine next. Last night I spent two hours with three checkbooks and a stack of receipts trying to figure out how and when we are going to pay that vacation off.

Just over a week ago I was floating high above Sonoma Valley in the small wicker basket of a hot air balloon with the most beautiful girl in the world. Yesterday I spent close to three hours replacing a worn out dryer duct.

Three days ago I was at the Gordon Biersch Brewery in the shadows of the San Francisco Bay Bridge enjoying a frosty Marzen and a reuben with the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Today I was back at the office reviewing urgent bid documents and invoices that sat untouched on my desk for nearly two weeks.

Ten months of wedding planning have ended and we are no longer "the couple about to get married". We're now just another married couple with bills to pay, chores to do and jobs to perform day after day after day after day. No more showers to attend. No more gifts to open. No more invitations to mail. No more pictures to pose for. We're just Ben and Janelle...forever. And I couldn't be happier.





Exit Arafat

Listening to Mischke on KSTP, just announced, Yasser Arafat is ... dead (ta da!).

A caller mentioned that Yasser Arafat refused to recognize the existence of Israel. Mischke corrected him by saying that Arafat's claim was that he just couldn't see Israel from his house.

For more fine Arafat death humor check out this Monty Python style tribute by James Phillips over on Infinite Monkeys.





Reach for the Stars

The Pioneer Press reporting on Minneapolis's new fire chief:

If confirmed by the City Council in December - and that appears virtually certain - [Bonnie] Bleskachek will become the first female fire chief in Minnesota history and one of the few openly gay fire chiefs in the country.

Bleskachek, who lives in South Minneapolis with her two children, ages 10 and 5, says she realizes that she's a role model for women. Indeed, she said she's been reminded of that repeatedly in the interviews she's given since [Mayor] Rybak announced her recommendation last Sunday.


Bleskachek has been reminded that she's a role model repeatedly in interviews. Reminded by who? The press? Well, they do know stuff. And this role model status certainly is news to me. Girls of Minneapolis, you have a new dream to dream. Work hard, eat your vegetables, and you too could become a lesbian, single mother, fire chief.

Amid all the breathless praise from the Mayor's office and the press, there is another side to this story. According to the Minneapolis Spokesman-Recorder, the departure of current chief Rocco Forte (via a promotion to another city government position) and Bleskachek's elevation may have been motivated by criteria other than qualifications alone:

Everyone knows Rocco Forte is one of the nation's leading fire chiefs, recognized for both his management skills and his ability to bring diversity to the department. The mayor and his "forces," stung by their inability to make one of the police GLBT persons chief of police, are determined to win on that issue by passing Bonnie Bleskachek over 10 individuals who out-rank her.

Also, this from the City Pages:

There are those who wonder if Forte's "promotion" was really about clearing the way for a female chief, to appease those City Council members who had backed either Lucy Gerold or Sharon Lubinski for police chief. (The recommended interim chief, Bonnie Bleskachek, is not next to Forte in the chain of command, but she is one of the department's highest-ranking females.) This possibility rankled some minority community leaders, who credit Forte as the main force in Minneapolis's building the most diverse fire department nationwide.

So, is Bleskachek a role model or politically correct, affirmative action trophy? One wonders if the press recognizes a difference.





Somebody Up There Really Doesn't Like Me

Gordon from Canada responds to my one fingered victory salute:

I read in Salon where you have the Eastern half of Canada on a particularly vile type of hate list. What about the Western half, we probably despise you guys even more, c'mon you little pimp, we're feeling left out.

lol, you guys some how think you matter............... but you don't.

Canada, true north strong and REALLY FREE


Gordon from Canada eh? Don't I know a Gordon from Canada? Hmmm...It couldn't be...naw, no way it's this Gordon, right?

He does have a good point though. There is no disputing that Canada is true north.




Black and White and Red All Over

Rick from Eagan analyzes Nick Coleman's claims of a Democratic tomorrow in the suburbs:

In Nick Coleman's Sunday column he made the following statement:

It wasn't just Edina that turned blue, Red. So did Mendota Heights, Eagan (the governor's home) and many other areas where moderate Minnesotans -- of all political stripes -- who care deeply about education, health care, the environment and the social safety net decided they did not want to be in Alabama.

I don't know about Edina or Mendota Heights, but being that I live in Eagan I was rather shocked at this statement, so I rushed to the Secretary of State site to find out if it were so.

It was true! Eagan went for Kerry by a margin of 578 votes out of 37,077 cast.

It was also not true. John Kline (GOP) took Eagan with 2,061 more votes than DFL'er Teresa Daly and IP'er Doug Williams combined, and won 17 of 21 precincts: Kline-51.1%, Daly-42.5%, Williams-3%, No Preference-3.4%.

Furthermore, GOP Minnesota house candidates got 2,405 more votes than DFL candidates, and won 15 of 21 precincts: GOP-50.0%, DFL-43.6%, No Preference-6%.

So it seems that Mr. Coleman is way off when he says that Eagan is now a blue city.

How then did Kerry carry Eagan? At least 926 Kline supporters failed support Bush's re-election. If they had stuck to the ticket, Bush would have won Eagan by 378 votes.

Kerry also benefited from voters who only voted for him, and not for Congress or the state house candidates. My math here is rather complicated, but the estimate is between 1,129 and 2,010 ballots choosing Kerry and no other selections. 1,000 to 2,000 disembodied Kerry votes out of 37,000 cast!

Doesn't it strike you as odd, that between 1,000 and 2,000 Kerry voters (3-5%) in this prosperous suburb had no preference for congress or the Minnesota house? As Drudge would say, "Developing ..."


It does strike us as odd. But our eyes glazed over as soon as Rick mentioned his math was complicated, so we are unable to personally verify his cipherin' as correct.

I think it is plausible that at least a portion of the 3-5% Kerry voters were honest enough to admit they didn't know enough about a state congressional race, so they did the right thing and refused to vote on it. And part of that 3-5% are probably overvotes, those who mistakenly voted twice in that race and the tabulation machine rightfully disenfranchised them on account of mental deficiency.

But none of that disproves Rick's thesis - that Nick Coleman is wrong about the Blue hue of Eagan. It's mostly still Red, but with just enough ignorance (3-5%) to allow the Democrats to win an occasional election there.

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Crime Doesn't Pay, Except for the DFL

Representative Phyllis Kahn (DFL-Minneapolis) was recently caught in the act of stealing campaign literature and convicted of misdemeanor theft. (It was limited to theft, since no specific statute existed to penalize this form of campaign fraud). And last Tuesday, her loyal Democratic supporters in District 59B returned her to office with a landslide victory.

According to the Minnesota Daily, Phyllis Kahn was pleased with herself:

With all precincts reporting, Kahn had collected 59 percent of the vote. Hutchings was the nearest challenger with 22 percent. Smith and Lischeid collected 13 and 6 percent, respectively. Kahn said she was pleased to be re-elected, though with three opponents her vote margin decreased.

"As I said before, the major issue is the budget," she said. "And I hope whoever is in control will look at issues important to young voters."


I can see where she would be pleased that the major issue was the budget, and not something else, like perhaps ... election fraud!

But the people in 59B have spoken, and committing crimes against democracy is not a disqualification for a public servant in their district. And it may not be a disqualification up in District 45A either. That's the New Hope district where Phyllis Kahn, a member of the DFL party leadership team mind you, was caught committing her crime. That crime being the theft of Representative Lynn Osterman's campaign literature. And for the DFL party's sins, they were rewarded with a DFL victory in 45A.

By the way, poor Lynne Osterman not only had to put up with Kahn's theft of her literature, she also had to weather vicious mudslinging by the DFL party. According to the Star Tribune:

The mailing, sent out three weeks before the Nov. 2 election, accuses Osterman of "following marching orders" of extremist "Republican bosses" in House votes to cut education and local government funding.

If you don't believe my characterization of this mailing as mudslinging, then just ask Sandra Peterson, the DFL candidate in District 45A:

... [the] mailing attacking the Republican incumbent in a hotly contested state House race drew fire Thursday from a surprising source -- the DFL candidate it was intended to help.

"I don't want any more of it," said Sandra Peterson, the challenger to first-term Rep. Lynne Osterman, R-New Hope. "I have signed a clean and fair campaign pledge, and I plan to abide by it."


Luckily for Peterson, the DFL abides by no such pledge. Due to the magic of campaign finance laws, the DFL party was able, nay - compelled, to ignore the candidate's wishes and keep on sliming away.

But state DFL spokesman Bill Amberg defended the mailing as "truthful and accurate" and said the party would change none of its campaign plans in response to Peterson because "we can't coordinate with candidates."

Under campaign finance law, party and caucus efforts on behalf of candidates are so-called "independent expenditures" that are free from spending limits but cannot be directed by the candidates.


That's the legacy of campaign finance law. Forcing the political party to act contrary to the actions and wishes of the candidate. Well, maybe that should have been Phyllis Kahn's defense. She was only stealing so the DFL wouldn't have to.





Tuesday, November 09, 2004
They Love That Dirty Water

Soil and water maven Jim Styczinski comments on the strange case of the Hennepin County District 5 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor race. Per usual, his insight raises more questions than answers:

What kind of shenanigans are going on in Hennepin County District 5? I'm positive that my earlier check of the Secretary of State's website showed Jonathan Burris well ahead of Michael Wyatt. In fact, the Minnesota Association of Soil and Water Conservation Districts website still shows him as the winner.

What is going on here? Is Mr. Burris the victim of conniving lawyers who want to muscle in on his gay divorce business? Does Mr. Wyatt have the Soil and Water machine behind him? Or do the powerful Republican forces behind Fraters Libertas want to protect a perfect endorsement record?

In any case, it is probably best that I not ask any questions. I know how to keep my mouth shut, I swear.


And this from Tom in Sherburne County:

The Elder may not have made you aware that I wrote you in for all three uncontested races for Sherburne County Soil & Water Commission. The other day, while reading Power Line's entry "Wild Life in the Suburbs" I was given yet another reason why my vote was not wasted and why I will redouble my efforts (such as they were) to get you on the commission next time. If St. Paul were to be my Soil & Water Commissioner, I am certain that we'd have plenty of the right kind of "Wild Turkey" in and around our homestead.

A provocative platform, to say the least. But I'm more of a Bushmills man. And I'm not sure that's enough to turn the tide in Sherburne county, especially against that murderer's row currently serving on the Soil and Water Board. They have what you call, mandates.

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Filla From Manila

Just enough time for a quick report from Manila. What's the city like? Hell if I know. We got in late Monday night and went directly to our hotel which is about three blocks from the office building where we're meeting at. Despite the short distance, we were advised not to walk it, especially at night. Which happens to be when we're doing most of our work. We have walked back to the hotel a couple of times just as the sun is coming up, but have seen very little of Manila so far.

From what I have witnessed, I'd say it's a bit like Mexico and China dashed together. Which makes sense I guess, considering the country's colonial history and geographic locale.

Manila does not lack for teeming masses. People everywhere, doing every sort of job you could possibly imagine. If there's enough work for one person, you can count on four being on hand to perform the task. Walking through the hotel lobby I was accosted by no less than six anxious-to-please employees offering to open the doors, tote my luggage, and any other unpleasant duties I would rather not perform myself. John Kerry's kind of place. No hassling with the worry of a hair brush here. Someone will gladly handle that arduous chore for you.

There's also the type of security that leaves you with mixed emotions. It's initially reassuring to see the guard with a bomb-sniffing dog at the front entrance to the hotel who won't allow you to enter without checking your bags. But then you start asking yourself why it's necessary.

In a meeting last night, we were discussing how the Manila folks would deal with a disaster. Backups, redundant systems, that sort of thing. We were told that they had contingency plans for an earthquake, terrorist attack, and coup d'etat. Coup d'etat? We're not in America anymore Dorothy.

Or are we?

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Dewey Defeats Truman

Breaking news on the Hennepin County District 5 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor race. Earlier this week we reported gay divorce pioneer, the QueerLawyer.com, Jonathan M. Burris, was victorious over both Fraters Libertas endorsee Michael Wyatt and global hemp supporter Kevin Rodewald.

With the late precincts finally reporting in, we are forced to reverse our call and now report Michael Wyatt is the winner.

Rest assured, we don't take this degree of inaccuracy lightly. Letting a bogus election report hang out there and fester in the minds of our readers for a week after the polls closed does not meet our standards (which require accuracy within 6 days of the event). In the spirit of accountability we're prepared to place the blame precisely where it lies. And that's with Zogby and the Star Tribune, on whom we modeled our exit polling techniques and ethical code.

But, the good news is Wyatt's victory makes a clean sweep for the original slate of Fraters Libertas Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor endorsees. Well done, folks. But we must remind Michael Wyatt that although he received a strong plurality of 39% of the vote, a mandate he has not. And he must look to his vanquished opponents for direction in his governance. To paraphrase the Star Tribune's advice to President Bush:

This [Soil and Water Conservation District] badly needs someone who can appeal to a broad cross-section of the electorate. A uniter takes into account opinions and sensibilities other than his own. In his second term, we hope the people of [Hennepin County District 5] -- all of them -- get that from their [Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor].

That's right Mr. Wyatt. Next time an important soil and/or water conservation issue crosses your desk (or picnic table or floating TV tray or whatever you guys use), we urge you to consider: what would a pioneer gay divorce attorney and a global hemp supporter do at a time like this? John Kerry would do nothing less.

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Worth A Look

Check out a new blog on the block What attitude problem?.




If It's Tuesday, It Must Be Manila

Sunday 12:45pm leave Minneapolis.

Monday 10:40pm arrive Manila.

Tuesday 1:00am begin work meetings in Manila after checking in and a quick shower at the hotel.

Tuesday 8:15am back at the hotel to sleep.

Tuesday 6:45pm ready to meet for dinner and then head to work.

What day is it again?

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Monday, November 08, 2004

What They Think of Us: The Italians

Vox Day is from Mounds View, but he lives in Italia. In between all that pasta slurping, soccer playing, and Renaissance art viewing, he had a spare moment to grant us one of our patented one question interviews.

Q: How is the U.S. election result looking to the folks in Italy?

A: The Italians aren't particularly interested. Seriously, they're more concerned about how Juve, Milan, and Inter are doing in the Champions League than whatever those crazy Americans are up to. I mean, what can you expect of a people who don't even play calcio?

Also, because of the Nasiriyah bombing and their own immigration issues in the south, they aren't very fond of Arabs. Eddie Izzard, the transvestite English comedian, pretty much put it best:

"The Italians don't care about anything. They're just driving around onthose little Vespas, checking out the girls and going 'Ciao!' Mussolini comes in and tells them: 'You are all fascists now.' So, now they ride around on their Vespas, checking out the girls and saying 'We are all fascists now... ciao!'

It's mostly the French, the Germans and, to certain extent, the British media that have their lederhosen in a bunch. None of them really know the first thing about the USA, they just have this permanent fear of American "cowboyism", which means that the President doesn't consult them before he wipes his ass.


Vox Day: blogger, columnist, International Ambassador of Truth, Justice, and the American Way.





What Would George Patton Do?

For those needing an extra helping of Victor Davis Hanson commentary, check out the October edition of Imprimis. In his inimitable way, VDH applies the lessons of history to modern conflicts, including those torn from today's headlines. Excerpts:

Patton always realized that armed forces serve political ends and create an immediate reality on the battlefield that politicians argue over for years - that there are times when audacious commanders can create favorable diplomatic situations impossible to achieve by politicians even after years of negotiations.

Patton's own general sense was that his Third Army took greater casualties when immobile, not simply because of stiffening enemy resistance, but also because his soldiers were singularly ill-equipped for a war requiring rote, method and patience. In the present context Patton would advise us, in view of our national character, to be constantly on the advance, seeking to surprise and storm enemies rather than being merely reactive. If we are in a real war, Americans must move quickly on Fallujah and Najaf rather than "contain" such "no-go" zones. Syria and Iran should be warned that their continued sanctuary and aid to terrorists are synonymous with a state of war with the U.S. Patton would advise us that static occupation, negotiations with undefeated insurgents, and mild rebukes to neighboring terrorist sponsors are not only futile, but against the American character of decisive advance and unconditional surrender once war is upon us.


Imprimis is a newsletter published by Hillsdale College and each month features a single essay, from the stars of conservative scholarship and philosophy (and Pat Sajack). Fiscal conservatives and cheap SOBs take note, it's free for the asking.





Sunday, November 07, 2004

In The Heart Of The Beast

The lovely Atomizerette and I are currently enjoying the last few precious days of our all too short honeymoon. My wife (it feels funny even typing those words) is upstairs in bed with a nasty virus of some sort which has provided me with the freedom to hang out in the lobby of the Argonaut Hotel and indulge myself in all three of my bad habits...drinking, smoking and blogging.

I must add here that the anti-smoking crusade has truly invaded the state of California. A guy can't just light up a fag when the spirit strikes him...unless he happens to be a very gay man, if you know what I mean. It is somewhat disorienting for me to be in a bar sucking down my third Sapphire martini (an unpossible task unless the wife is asleep...and she is) without the accompanying heater. The only joy I get from the indignity of having to hover outside with the other lung poisoned lepers is seeing the looks on the faces of those who notice the Bush-Cheney '04 button that I have been proudly sporting since I arrived on the Left Coast. Priceless.

Yesterday was Chinatown and Union Square. Today was Alcatraz and the Museum of Modern Art. Tomorrow is brewery day. Oh, for joy!




A Very Good Week

Tuesday was the election (duh) and for me, election night coverage for The Patriot from both the DFL and GOP victory parties. It was a crazy and hectic evening, but a lot of fun.

On Wednesday we learned that George W. Bush had been re-elected President. 'Nuff said.

Thursday night was trivia at Keegan's. Although our team came in second place, it was an enjoyable evening of lively discussion with Craig Westover (editorial writer for the St. Paul Pioneer Press), James Phillips (creator of Ralphie and guest blogger at Infinite Monkeys) who was in town from California to catch some puck, and our soil and water man, Jim Styczinski. We ended up hashing out the world's problems till well after 1am, aided by a couple, two three pints. A late night for sure, but well worth the lost hours of slumber.

Friday we filled in for Hugh Hewitt's radio show and had a blast, especially in the third hour talking movies with Emmett.

Saturday was a beautiful late fall day which gave me a chance to finish up on seasonal yard work and squeeze in a walk. It also featured the opening game of the 2004-05 season for my hockey team. No matter how long you play the game and no matter what level you're playing at, there's nothing quite like the thrill of scoring an overtime goal. I was fortunate enough to experience that sensation on Saturday night. Damn it felt good. It never gets old.

Later today, I'm off on a trip to Manila, where I'll spend the week taking care of bidness. If all goes according to plan, I'll be back on Saturday in time for the Salute to Veterans at Keegan's. But, if you see a post this week asking for donations to pay a ransom to Abu Sayyaf, I'd really appreciate it if you'd pony up. After a week like this, I'd really hate to lose my head in the Philippines next week.

(Please note that the last remark was made with tongue firmly in cheek.)

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Saturday, November 06, 2004

MN House Republicans Get Smoked

Fraters Libertas is pleased to announce that a mole inside Minnesota House Republican Caucus has approached us to offer periodic updates from inside the halls of power. In the interests of security, our contributor wishes to be referred to as the SmokingSOB (not to be confused with Atomizer):

I'm a regular visitor at the Northern Alliance, and although I have no desire to
blog, I just thought you might appreciate a periodic "voice" from inside the
Minnesota House Republican Caucus.

I'm also a member of the unofficial "smoking sub caucus" -- a bipartisan band of
cigarette and cigar devotees who regularly congregate outside the doors of the
State Office Building (SOB) across the street from the Capitol building.

There is somberness in the caucus - and not because beer was banned (Damn You
Channel 9!) from the election night party. Few anticipated losing so many
members (we now hold a slim 68-66 majority) Lot's of navel gazing going on --
candidates didn't work hard enough, grumbling about new same-day voter
registrants, DFL flooded districts with glossy flyers, etc. Had the election
ended in a tie, up to half of the staff (especially committee staff) would have
been out of a job. Thanks to an earlier hiring freeze and staff departures, few
if any staff will be canned.

Credit the DFL for effective and costly campaigns. My take is, how can anyone be
surprised that some Republican members would bow out after a year and a half of
relentless media attacks (Republicans cut K-12, LGA, HHS programs, not getting
work done) and campaign mudslinging? One can be expected to pay for sticking
with principle. In addition, in many of the DFL wins, the margin of victory was
slim thus these seats are a fat target for the GOP in 2006.

I remain upbeat. We survived the Kerry backwash -- and survived everything the
DFL threw at us -- and still remain in the majority. House Speaker Steve Sviggum
told staff the other day that our core message -- no tax increases -- remains
steadfast. But it will be tough slogging in the session ahead.

On a more serious note, many smokers are speculating that administration will
enact a ban on smoking near SOB entrances. I fully expect MoveOn.org to erect
tables near the SOB doors to monitor compliance.






The Sacred And Profane

More reaction to my "colorful" post-election gloating from Steve in Minneapolis:

I'm a Minnesotan and I love Fraters Libertas. Your column is funny and you guys are just as funny on the air as well.

Your "One-Fingered Salute" blog was priceless. It hit right to the core of how most Republican activists feel in this post-election environment.

I posted your entry on Free Republic. I expected it to be removed because of the swear words...but it wasn't. Normally the boys at Free Republic don't allow posts with the word F*** in the text. They must agree that its a classic.


You can read Steve's post at Free Republic here. In the interests of fairness it must be said that not everyone appreciates my candor:

What an idiot this writer is.

Fraters Libertas is the stupidest name I ever heard. I never know what Hewit is talking about when he says it.

Too much profanity. I expect dems to do this, not Christians.


Hmmm...So it's okay to call someone an idiot but not to swear? Interesting theology.




Nobody's Perfect

It's all starting to make sense now. For months we've been trying to find Hugh Hewitt's prom picture from the '70s, in which he is a sporting a canary yellow tuxedo. Obviously said photo is being held by Senator Arlen Specter from Pennsylvania and used against Hugh as blackmail. How else to explain Hugh's defense of Specter?

On reflection, it seems to me a very bad idea to try and topple Senator Specter from what in the ordinary course of events would be his Chairmanship. I hope my colleagues on the center-right that embrace pro-life politics will reconsider.

I understand that Senator Specter voted against Robert Bork, and that Senator Specter is not a friend of the pro-life movement. But genuine progress in the fight to return American public opinion to an affirmation of life before birth cannot be made through strong-armed tactics and almost certainly will not be lasting if it is accomplished through a putsch. Institutions that are destabilized for expediency's sake do not regain stability after a convenient alteration.


Yeah, that's what we need in the Senate. More "stability." Remember during the excruciatingly drawn out run-up to the war in Iraq (labeled by leftists as a "rush to war"), when we were told that invading Iraq would "destabilize" the Middle East? The response to that objection was that years of "stability" in the Middle East had produced nothing but dictators, Islamic fundamentalism, and terrorism, and that it was high time to shake things up.

I for one have had enough of the "stability" in the Senate offered by the likes of Specter, Chafee, and Snowe. When Specter was challenged in the Republican primary by conservative Pat Toomey, many commentators on the right (including yours truly) backed Toomey. Unfortunately, President Bush, Rick Santorum (Pennsylvania's other senator), and Hugh supported Specter and helped him fend off Toomey.

Hugh Hewitt is an intelligent, generous man of unquestionable integrity who has done much to help the conservative cause (to say nothing of the blogosphere) through his talk radio show, his blog, and his books. But he was wrong about Specter in the Pennsylvania primary and he's wrong about him now.

C'mon Hugh, is the picture really that bad?

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How You Goin' Keep 'Em Down On The Farm?

Dave from Indianapolis e-mails to give credit to the cultivators of the earth:

"Farm Aid" founders Neil Young, Willie Nelson, and John Mellencamp campaigned against President Bush. They released anti-Bush songs and videos. Two of them performed at Whoopie Fest.

The farmers of America voted like the salt of the earth they are. One can see this by looking at the final map broken down by county. Farmers had to simply be shaking their heads during the campaign season when they saw how several of their "Farm Aid" icons were behaving.

Family farms were direct benefits of the tax cuts. Inheritance taxes have a direct impact on the family farm. The Senate, sitting on the energy plan, cost the family farmers every time they pump diesel, pump gas, or pay to ship their products to market. Farmers are close families and attend church.

I would love to know the thought of the three "Farm Aid" founders. They have to be disappointed.

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Friday, November 05, 2004

Hallelujah Chorus

Apparently I am not alone in feeling the need for a bit of "post-victory venting".

Laura from Edina, Minnesota starts off with:

Add me to the amen chorus regarding your one finger salute to the Bush haters. Over the last year I have had many an obscene earful from friends and strangers alike about my volunteer effort on behalf of the President. Peggy Noonan summed it up best for me today:

George Soros cannot buy a presidential election. Savor. "Volunteers" who are bought and paid for cannot beat volunteers who come from the neighborhood, church, workplace and reading group. Savor.

The leaders of the Bush effort see it this way: A ragtag band of more than a million Republican volunteers who fought like Washington's troops at Valley Forge beat the paid Hessians of King George III's army. Savor.

After the battle I am literally nauseas from exhaustion but elated at the outcome. I am proud to have been a part of it.


Jeff from Milford, Delaware keeps it simple:

And may I add: "Yup."

I read you guys every day, and consider myself much the better for it. Our four years at Grand Forks AFB, ND, has something to do with it, but that's left for another time.


Doug sees merchandising potential from the post:

I loved it.

'Go Fuk Yourselves'

Gave me a woody.

CAUTION: That post was at 5:08 PM. You are obviously hitting the gin bottle early and hard.

But HEY. We won. We won big. This was the BIG FISH that didn't get away.

Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the gin. Let that middle finger rise high and hard.

ps - I'm seeing the possibility of a

Hey Liberals
Go FUK Yourself
It's Over

T-shirt... die-hard rednecks would love it.

Of course, it would be a white T-Shirt with RED lettering.


But of course. Anything else would be uncivilized. For another post-election gift idea from deep in the heart of Kerry Country, check out the Wickid Pissah Stickah at mASS BACKWARDS.

Robert adds his two cents:

Enjoyed your one fingered shout out.

To prove how totally unhinged they're becoming, please see this gem in the City Pages. It's Bush's obituary. They can't beat him so now they wish he were dead.

Every individual and organization you mentioned should receive a hand held mirror with the inscription "This is why you lost" on top and "objects in mirror are stupider than they appear" on the bottom.

I would like to thank your blog for the great work this election season.

God, I love you drunk bastards.


And we love our readers.

Terrie at EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO MY OPINION weighs in:

Re: "my one fingered victory salute", hallelujah! Will Generalissimo Duane be instituting a 5-second delay tomorrow? I look forward to finding out.

You mean I won't be able to read the post in its entirety on Hugh's show tonight as planned? Where's the "can you say that?" guy when you really need him?

Scott from Pinkmonkeybird appreciates the gesture:

Ahhhhhhh! Thank you for that post. It felt good. One big FU goes a long way toward soothing the ruptured sensibilities of we on this side of the battle.

Tom checks in from the Golden State:

Well put. I'm afraid you speak for a lot of us who languish in the land of the politically correct (California), with this post. It has been a long time coming however after four years of being bashed at every turn for supporting the President and his administration it feels good to let it all fly. You will be forgiven for your lack of sensitivity. Your list seems pretty complete, however out of consideration for those of us stuck on the left coast I would add the LA Times and Bill Maher. Keep up the good work.

Tom is the third person who has suggested adding Maher to the list. Consider him flipped off.

Meanwhile, the woman formerly known as The Golden Girl, now going by Barbara at Girl in Right, offers her take from Colorado:

Great post. Fabulous. Could never have said it as well myself. But of course, being a subservient bubble-headed traditional wife and mother, I would be struck dead by the good lord himself if I told the libs to GFY. I'm glad you did. Gol dern that took some gumption.

Your bigoted, racist, lying, beer-swillin', gun-totin', bible-thumpin', red-necked friend.


Y'all know that us Dubyah supporters are simple God fearin' folk and we don't cotton to all that fancy analyzin' that them big city media types like Chris Matthews likes to.

Barbara's e-mail does bring to mind a new motto:

"Fraters Libertas: Profaning the left so you don't have to."

Tim, who also hails from the Rocky Mountain State, finds my message a bit subtle:

Regarding your post about the one-fingered victory salute, I think you?re holding back a little bit; how do you really feel?

As for the liberals out there predicting doom and gloom, I find my comfort in Johnny Cash's song "Sam Hall" from his American IV album. To those liberals I say "Damn your eyes!" And a nice tall rum and Coke helps too.


Mitch berg, a man who is a tall drink of rum and Coke himself, seconds my emotion at Shot In The Dark:

Elder's post-election word to the disloyal opposition - you know who they are - is not safe for work.

But in nearly every particular, I second him.


Finally, the last word goes to Derek from Freedom Dogs:

Of all the high minded editorials I posted yesterday, this one is just as good.

You should know that the editorials that Derek mentioned were penned by Laura Ingraham, Peggy Noonan, and Hugh Hewitt.

Not bad company to keep. Although they do need to work on their use of profanity...

UPDATE: Larry has some parting shots:

One more AMEN from me. Great post. What I have difficulty understanding is this:

The 'intellectual left' expends a great deal of brainpower (well, I use that term loosely) and time trying to 'understand' Al-Qaeda, trying to 'feel the emotions' and 'understand the hatred' of the world community toward the US, and fretting over how the oppression of middle eastern people by Halliburton causes them to strap bombs to their kids and send them over the fence to blow up Israelis. Yet, those same people that profess to have such open minds have absolutely no interest in trying to understand the Red-Staters (and we Red-Stater-wannabes stuck in barely blue states). Their fellow countrymen are deemed idiots, religious zealots, bigots, racists, nazis, thugs and brownshirts simply because they cast a vote for a good man, a man of faith and principle, one who doesn't try to 'understand' why people want to kill us - he's more concerned with ensuring that they don't succeed in their mission. According to them, we're so blinded by our religious fervor that we are unable to become enlightened and see the truth.

I've said a number of times in this campaign that hate is not a long-term sustainable emotion, and certainly not one upon which a winning campaign can be built. Based on what I'm reading from some of the lefties (and I submit Jane Smiley's Slate article as exhibit #1), it appears that we'll be able to test the first part of my hypothesis. I think the 2nd part has already been proven.





What's That Smell?

Jeff Fecke is one of those local lefty bloggers the Elder referred to yesterday in his salute to what passes for dissent by the modern Left. And while it's too early to announce our 2005 Blogs of Distinction Awards, I'd like to nominate Fecke for early recognition. In the always competitive category of ....

Worst Identification by a Blogger of an Early Morning Odor

Here's Jeff, from the wee small hours on Nov. 2:

I'm writing this at 2:18 in the morning. I should be asleep, but like a kid on Christmas Eve, I can't. Something's in the air, something indefinable.

This year, I think we're going to win this one. It's something about the intensity of support on the left, and yes, the intensity of opposition, too. We want this one. We want it bad. And I think we're going to get it.


Oh no! Jeff thought he smelled victory. But it turns out to be, once again, the acrid stench of defeat hanging heavy over his ideologocal aspirations. Or maybe that smell was the lingering effects of that chalupa he had for lunch. It's hard to say. Only his internist could tell us for sure.

But let's not be too hard on Jeff. Identifying the sweet smell of success is an acquired skill. One that requires actually being right about something on occasion.

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Thursday, November 04, 2004
my one fingered victory salute

[Editor's note: for the most part we refrain from the use of expletives on this blog. In general, using profanity does not reflect well on the writer. It is often nothing more than a juvenile attempt to garner attention and is used as a substitute for meaningful thought (see the vast majority of local lefty blogs). However, on occasion circumstances dictate that its use is appropriate. And this is one of those occasions. If you are sensitive about such matters, I urge you to skip this post and come back tomorrow when the normal family-friendly atmosphere of Fraters Libertas will once again be evidenced. Unless Atomizer gets cut off at another wine tour that is.]

The election is over. The President has been re-elected. The GOP has picked up seats in both the Senate and the House. For those of us on the right side of the aisle, it's a time to celebrate.

We're being told that we should be magnanimous in victory. That we should not gloat or mock those on the other side. And to a certain extent, I agree with that notion. I respect the stalwart Democrats who fought the good fight for their party. Guys like Flash from Centrisity. They are decent, honorable people who just happen to be wrong about most of the issues of the day. While I am glad that their candidate was not successful, I have no desire to rub their faces in their defeat. And anyone who has been at trivia night at Keegan's knows that I am nothing if not a gracious winner.

But...

My magnanimity only goes so far. And when it comes to those on the left who were fueled by irrational hatred and engaged in the most despicable, egregious, slanderous, defamatory, and disgusting attacks on a sitting U.S. president in memory, I have nothing but disdain. This may seem a bit extreme, but I find myself agreeing with sentiments like this:

Let's face a hard truth: this was the bitterest Presidential campaign in living memory. The Democrats and their allies staked everything on the defeat of this President. All of the resources they had accumulated over a generation of struggle were thrown into this battle: and they have failed. Despite all of their tricks, despite all of their lies, the people have rejected them. They mean nothing. They are worth nothing. There's no point in trying to reach out to them because they won't be reached out to. We've got their teeth clutching the sidewalk and out boot above their head. Now's the time to curb-stomp the bastards.

Metaphorically speaking of course. The truth is that ever since the 2002 election (and earlier in some cases) we've had to put with a non-stop barrage of invective directed against President Bush. And now it's time for a response.

To the sneering punks who called Bush a smirking chimp, the conspiracy nutjobs who couldn't say four words without Halliburton dribbling out of their mouth, the goons who tried to shut down GOP campaign offices, the morons who think Bush is an idiot, the defeatists who encourage our enemies while demanding that we don't dare question their patriotism, the thugs who painted swastikas on Bush campaign signs, the sophists spouting "regime change begins at home", the historically challenged fools who compare Bush to Hitler, the "It's all about oil" idiots, the Fahrenheit 911 watching simpletons, the delusional paranoids who claim that fascism is now upon us, the self-important nobodies who fancy that their dissent is even worth crushing, and the disaffected expatriates who trash our president and country overseas to curry favor with their Euro buddies, I have a simple message using the straightforward words of Dick Cheney:

Go fuck yourselves.

I also want to extend my one fingered victory salute to some specific individuals and groups. So here's a big Fuck You victory shout out to:

Michael Moore, The City Pages, Al Franken, National Public Radio, Bruce Springsteen, MoveOn.org, Barbara Streisand, the a-holes at The New York Times (big-time!), Dan Rather, Rock The Vote, Garrison Keillor, CBS News, George Soros, The Guardian, Michael Stipe, The Minneapolis Star Tribune editorial board, P Diddy , Minnesota Public Radio, Nick Coleman, CNN, Paul Krugman, Kim Ode, the eastern half of Canada, Molly Ivins, Whoopi Goldberg, and France.

And I have a further message to all those (especially relevant for Michael Moore) who claim that they'd rather leave the country than spend another four years in George W. Bush's Amerika:

Don't let the border gate hit your ass on the way out.

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Super Connected

Just got back from wine country with the lovely Atomizerette and upon checking into our hotel near San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf, I noticed that they have free internet access. I have a LOT of catching up to do...but right now I need a drink. More to come.

Oh, and nice job with the election, folks. I knew you could do it.





New Evidence Uncovered

Glenn at Phantom Of The Blog believes that he's found the long sought after picture of Hugh in his prom tuxedo:



Let's see:

1970s? Check.

Guys who look at home in Warren, Ohio? Check.

Hugh's humiliating inability to grow facial hair? Check.

This looks like the real deal here folks. You can run Hugh, but you can't hide.




Don't Drink the Water

Perhaps the man most responsible for Ramsey County's election of a pending felon, Jim Styczinski, writes in with more analysis of the Ramsey County District 3 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor race:

You dismiss the influence of the Fraters endorsement for Jill Wilkinson and attribute the defeat of Marj Ebensteiner to the similarity of her name to Republican State Chairman Ron Eibensteiner. Then how do you explain the 2002 Ramsey County District 4 results?

Mary Jane Reagan received 46,386 votes, defeating an Anderson and even the perfectly named Phil Gravel. You could argue that Ramsey County voters wouldn't expect a Reagan in St. Paul to be related to Ronald Reagan, but would they really be willing to take that risk?


That result is shocking. Not for the victory of Mary Jane Reagan, but for the defeat of Phil Gravel. For the uninformed, name sensitive voter, he sounds like the perfect candidate for Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor. The only possible superior candidate I can think of would be Flo Water.

But I would argue that the name Reagan would not disqualify a candidate in 2002 in St. Paul. "Reagan" did not carry the red hot emotional baggage in 2002 that E(i)bensteiner does in 2004. Most people knew Ronald Reagan didn't have any extra kids running for office in St. Paul. Therefore, the local Democrats had no fear of mistakenly electing an evil conservative by voting for her.

Plus, Mary Jane Reagan (nee Mary Jane Rachner) is a bit of a media celebrity around town. That's primarily due to her status as a perennial candidate, for anything and everything. And she actually did change her name to Reagan for the expressed purpose of getting a sympathetic affiliation with the great man. (Although for her rather interesting career as an author, she retains her original name.)

I suspect many voters in 2002 recalled the name "Mary Jane Reagan" from hearing it mentioned in the media for the past 30 years, but didn't remember the context (i.e., crazy woman runs for office again). In politics, name ID is sometimes all you need. Although don't tell that to Patty Wetterling this week.

If all this sounds too cynical and overly critical of our fellow citizens, I refer you to the Churchill quote on the masthead of this web site. But in defense of the people, let me also say this phenomenon is more common the more obscure the race is. Normal people can't be expected to thoroughly research and get informed on every office state law dictates to appear on the ballot (which the dozens of uncontested, incumbent judges appearing on the back of your ballot Tuesday thank their lucky stars for).

That's why we're here. To tell you how to vote. And the guy that did have time to research these races for us, Jim Styczinski, provides this summary of the results of our efforts:

For many years now the DFL has been the dominant political force in Ramsey County. But for the last few of those years, the barbarians (Fraters Libertas) have been at the gate. With this election the gates have fallen and the county has been sacked. In both Ramsey County Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor races, the Fraters Libertas endorsed candidate defeated the DFL endorsed candidate. In District 2, our Dorothy Waltz edged Gwen Willems by the narrow, but litigation proof, margin of 2175 votes. Even more embarrassing for the DFL, our erstwhile endorsee in District 3, admitted Libertarian embezzler Jill Elizabeth Wilkinson, trounced DFL endorsed incumbent Marjorie Ebensteiner by a whopping 29,960 votes. Although we retracted our endorsement of Ms. Wilkinson, it was still more influential than the DFL's unretracted endorsement of Ms. Ebensteiner. Take that Mike "Emperor Odovacar" Erlandson.

While Ramsey County is firmly under our boot, there are still more counties to conquer. Our endorsee for Hennepin County District 5 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor, Michael Wyatt finished a disappointing third. The winner was "Gay Divorce" pioneer Jonathan M. Burris of QueerLawyer.com. The runner up was Kevin W. Rodewald, he of the GlobalHemp.com e-mail address. We made the mistake of endorsing the most qualified candidate - a mistake that cannot be repeated if we are to expand our empire to the shores of Lake Minnetonka.


And succeed we must next time as the status quo is rather sobering. In Ramsey County District 3, the Soil and Water Commissioner is an admitted embezzler, in District 4 a serial candidate and sex book author, and in Hennepin County District 5, a pioneer of the gay divorce movement.

Hang on citizens, help is on the way. But for the next two years, you may want to considering drinking only bottled water.

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That '70s Book

If you liked The Gallery of Regrettable Food, then you're just the kind of twisted sicko who will LOVE James Lileks' latest effort; Interior Desecrations : Hideous Homes from the Horrible '70s. My copy is on the way from Amazon as we speak.

It's a perfect way to decompress after the lengthy and nerve-wracking election campaign. Democrats and Republicans can come together and agree on at least one thing: Lileks is a damn funny man. Order your copy today.





Time To Call It Quits?

Dave ain't buying what Scott Johnson is selling:

Regarding Scott Johnson's callous disregard for voting proprieties vis-ŕ-vis his write-in campaign to assume the Minnesota bench:

Please tell him that his exit polling (of the so-called "three students" at his law school class) is a ridiculously small sample size and not to pin his hopes on this holding up under recount scrutiny. Everyone knows that students who A) Show up for class; B) Show up ON TIME for class; and C) kiss up to their professor, are NOT indicative of the Fraters Libertas-reading electorate as a whole (no offense - I mean it as a compliment). I asked Dick Morris about this, and he thinks a congressional investigation is in order.

Is it possible the Mr. Johnson is trying to do some quick post-election spin in an effort to influence the recount process? For the good of the country, I think you should ask Mr. Johnson to step down gracefully and end this anguishing indecision. It's time to come together.


Dave is right. Scott Johnson's intransigence is tearing the country apart. Unfortunately, the man's egomaniacal quest for power appears to know no bounds. Let it go Scott. It's time to move on.




Anybody But Ebensteiner

It is with some alarm we note the result in the Ramsey County District 3 Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor race, where erstwhile Fraters Libertas endorsee Jill Wilkinson surged to victory with 59% of the vote.

As you may recall we were forced to withdraw our endorsement from Ms. Wilkinson when it came to light that she had admitted to embezzling thousands of dollars from the Libertarian Party. Yet she ran away with this race anyway, over a DFL-endorsed opponent no less.

I shudder to think we may have unduly influenced the outcome of this election. But if not us, who? We did boldly endorse the woman, while every mainstream media outlet completely ignored the race (and of course, nobody reads the corrections columns, even on Fraters Libertas). I wonder, could this be another (Pyrrhic) victory for the blogosphere? Behold the power of the new media!

Or, behold the power of the old ignorance. While I'd like to think we had something to do with this outcome, our daily readership level argues against the possibility that Wilkinson's 97,321 supporters in Ramsey County were subject to our influence. Instead, a more likely scenario presents itself. People in Ramsey County weren't voting for Wilkinson, as much as voting against her opponent, on the basis of mistakenly associating her last name with a well-known villain in DFL circles.

Wilkinson's opponent, Marj Ebensteiner, has a last name nearly identical to that of the Minnesota Republican Party Chairman, Ron Eibensteiner. The Chairman is a well known man in this town, in an infamous sort of way (most prominently for yelling "get a job" at a motley crew of professional protesters outside of a Bush fundraiser in St. Paul in 2002). My guess is that most people thought Marj was his wife or daughter or indentured servant or something.

You will note that Ron's Eibensteiner has an extra "i" at the beginning. I suspect most voters did not note that. So every knee jerk Democrat in the county voted against her. And St. Paul is full of knee jerk Democrats. According to the Pioneer Press:

There was no change in St. Paul's all-DFL Minnesota House delegation as a result of Tuesday's elections, an expected result. The city has not sent a Republican to the Legislature in 20 years, and didn't come close to breaking that record this election.

To be specific, the Democrats running for the 8 House seats in St. Paul this year each received 59% or more of the vote (with 7 of the 8 receiving 70% or more). Yet for the Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor race, these same voters (basically) gave the Democrat only 41%. And the Libertarian (or Losertarian as Michael Medved would call her) got 59%? That Libertarian, Wilkinson, to reiterate, has no discernible qualifications for the office and is currently under indictment for stealing thousands of dollars of her party's funds.

For your sin of ignorance, citizens of Ramsey County, it sounds like you got the Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor you deserve. One not named similarly to the Republican Party chairman. Let's hope she doesn't do any damage before she gets sent off to the jug. And next year Ramsey County voters, remember to read some blogs before you vote. (Especially the corrections.)

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Wednesday, November 03, 2004
No More Al

Rick can't standz no more:

I forgot to bring my coffee thermos today, and craving a taste of bitterness, I tuned in to the Al Franken show for a few minutes to get his take on the election. Al's view: Republicans are big liars and their voters are gullible idiots. No surprise there. He and Catherine seem to have realized however that the values gap was an important factor in the election. You see, Republicans had fooled Americans into believing that family values are not what they really are: corporate income tax rates and regulations on trade. Apparently we are stupid enough to believe that family values is about who the parents are or whether our teenagers get tax funded abortions. They resolved to have Frank Rich on the show to explain it to them (here's an idea Al, why don't you get Gary Bauer or Dr. James Dobson to clue you in).

I have resolved to quit listening to Al Franken after today. I don't suspect it will be hard as quitting other bad habits. Like chewing tobacco, or habitually squirting lemon juice under my eyelids.


Now that the election is over, I wonder how much longer Franken will keep this little radio charade going anyway.

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Still Waiting For A Concession

Dave e-mails with a critical election question:

I have been poring over exit poll data trying to find a winner in the Scott Johnson judgeship races. Try as I might I can't make the math work for a Johnson "win". When can we expect to hear his concession speech? Or will he attempt to drag the country through 6 weeks of legal wrangling with spurious claims of winning the popular vote?

Please give us, your loyal readership, an update on this critical decision, as the so-called "main stream media" refuses to give it the attention it deserves.


Although no official announcement has been made by the Johnson campaign, word has leaked from the bunker that they're holed up in that they will not concede until every vote is counted. There's also a disturbing rumor that Al Gore was seen entering the bunker earlier this morning. Brace yourselves folks. We could be in for a long wait.

UPDATE: Scott Johnson refuses to accept the reality of his loss and appears to be in denial that his dreams of public office have been crushed (for the time being at least). Here's his latest e-mail:

Chad, did I lose?

I felt like a winner when I walked in to my law school class last night at five and three students volunteered that they had written me in per your directions.


As John Kerry said yesterday Scott, "In an American election, there are no losers." You're all winners.





It's A Beautiful Day

The sun is shining. The air is fresh. And George W. Bush has been re-elected.

I stayed up until nearly 4:30am last night waiting in vain for closure. This morning I flipped on Fox News at around 11am to see that the victory was official. Damn it feels good.

We've been having issues with Blogger today, which explains the lack of updates. I took the day off work and went for a walk shortly after noon. I was able to catch John Kerry's concession speech on NPR and thought it was quite good. Last night, I was a bit perturbed that the Kerry campaign refused to concede when it was obvious that they had no chance, but at least he came to his senses today and realized that dragging this out would only harm the nation. For that he does deserve some credit. He was classy in defeat and did not come across as bitter. And he showed some touches of humanity that were often missing in the campaign.

On the other hand, I was very unimpressed with John Edwards. When I hear him talking about two Americas, steel mills, union halls, and minority children not being able to do what other children can, I wonder if he realizes that it's 2004, not 1964. His message seems out of touch and, after his lackluster performance in the campaign, I question whether he has any chance in 2008.

Bush and Cheney just finished their victory remarks. Short, simple, and rather mundane. Not that I was really expecting much. After all, victory tends to speak for itself.





The Best News That I've Yet Heard Tonight...

Is that chads will not come into play in Ohio. Fox News just reported that there should be no dimpled, pregnant, or hanging chad issues in the Buckeye State. Kind of a personal relief for me you know?





And So It Begins...

The gloating that is. Tom Daschle's downfall now appears to be official. Sweet. Very, very sweet. Oh yeah, this one feels good.





The Beat Goes On

Sigh. Is it too much to hope that we're ever going to see a presidential election again where the Democrats accept the results without dragging us through more of the same tiresome, whiny rigamarole? How wide does the margin have to be anyway?

After a night spent at both the DFL and GOP victory parties (more on that later), I am now at home in my basement blogging (in my boxers of course), watching Fox News, and listening to Hugh Hewitt and what's left of the Northern Alliance and their live election night coverage. And drinking Scotch. That's about the only thing keeping me going at this point.

Look. We all know Bush won. Can we all just admit it and get on with our lives? The delay of the inevitable has already ruined the election night celebrations. But there's still a chance that we can go to bed knowing that it's over with.

The longer this goes on, the less gracious a winner I plan on being. I was going to limit myself to a full day of savoring the victory and gloating a bit. Now, I'm looking at a minimum of two days of sticking it in the faces of the Dems. You want another day? How 'bout a week? Just keep it up. Keep it up.





Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Into The Night

In a few moments, my wife and I will be headed out for the evening. We'll be stopping by both the DFL and GOP victory parties and reporting in as part of the Northern Alliance Radio Network live election coverage as events warrant. If I can find a WiFi connection, I may try to squeeze a couple of posts in as well.

The toughest part of the night will be resisting the urge to drink early and often. It's already been a long day. Only eight more hours to go?

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Deserve Victory!

Steady on crew. If you've been reading the early exit polls at NRO's The Corner all day and are just about ready to give a Kent Brockmanesque welcome to our new Democratic overlord, snap the hell out of it. It's going to be a long day/evening and we can't be running around like chicken littles at the first hint of bad news. Stay strong, keep the faith, and if you haven't voted yet, get 'er done.





Thank God She's A Country Boy-Separated At Birth?

Patty Wetterling

And...

John Denver





Please Move Along

Rather than living up to their name, the good folks at MoveOn.org appear to be doing all they can to get in the way of the electoral process here in the Twin Cities. I was fortunate enough to have a MoveOn free polling place this morning when I voted, but a number of callers to local talk radio shows were complaining about the activities of MoveOn members at polling places this morning.

At Plastic Hallway, Chumley notes:

I called the Secretary of State's office to see what we can do. I was told they've already received over 400 phone calls regarding complaints over this moveon.org activity. 400. At 10:00 in the morning. Oh boy. Anyway, she informed me to let people know that they should first call their county auditor's office. Then, if they feel that their rights have been violated they should call their local police. The basic fact of law in Minnesota is that these people can not be within 100 feet of a polling place, and they must be off the ground if they are on public property. If you see any organization (on either side) violating this law, call the auditor and call the police!!!

And Scott Johnson from Power Line reports:

I'm writing from the Bush-Cheney '04 command center in downtown Minneapolis, led by BC '04 Minnesota chairman Ben Whitney. The phones are manned by several of the most outstanding conservative attorneys in the state. We are fielding calls from Republican poll watchers around the state. The phones have been ringing hot and heavy since the polls opened at 7:00 a.m.. MoveOn.org is out in force and testing the limits of legal behavior at polling places around the Twin Cities. At least in Minnesota, the BC '04 team has organized a sophisticated defensive operation.

In an e-mail, Scott also told me that at the command center, "the phones did not stop ringing -- almost all with reports of improper MoveOn electioneering or loitering within a hundred feet."

King is also noting some suspicious MoveOn activity in St. Cloud and is promising further updates, including pictures shortly. And Mitch Berg has his own MoveOn story.

As Chumley advised, if you witness such illegal activity at your polling place, please call your county auditor's office. I'd also suggest that if you haven't voted yet, you bring a tape measure along with you to the polls. A long one.





Speak Softly And Vote For The Big Trunk

Our campaign to have people write-in Scott Johnson in all uncontested judicial races is gaining momentum. The Big Trunk has not only openly accepted our endorsement, he also sent me an e-mail promising to move to any jurisdiction in which he's elected, so that he qualifies. You can't say the man's not committed.

Mitch Berg has thrown his weight behind the effort as well.

And we've now picked up bipartisan support, as Flash from Centrisity has crossed over to vote for Scott. He also e-mailed me to share these thoughts on the original post:

I have to ask, how many people do you think appreciated this title as much as I, and did you second guess yourself before you hit 'post'?

I would rank this as the BEST blog headline I have ever seen and almost spewed beverage all over my PC when I read it.


Glad that we were able to tickle your funny bone Flash. Please keep in mind that Fraters Libertas is not responsible for any damage incurred to your computer from involuntary liquid expulsions resulting from laughter spasms when reading the site. You may be interested in looking into our patented Fraters Spit Take PC Protector, now available to our readers for a limited time at the special price of $29.95.




Exercising My Franchise

I just got done voting and boy is my hand tired. Writing in Scott Johnson no less than twenty-two times in various judicial races (and Jim Styczinski for three soil and water conservation posts) was a chore. But the extra time in the booth was well worth it. My voice has been heard. And I wish to remind those surly souls behind me in line giving me the stink-eye for spending a few extra minutes on my numerous write-in choices, that this is what our democracy is all about it. If I want to make a complete mockery of the judicial election process, then by God that's my right as an American, and you better believe that I'm going to enjoy it to the fullest. Anything else would be unpatriotic.

It's a drizzly, gray day here in the Twin Cities so far. I walked the seven blocks to my polling place this morning and pulled up in line at 6:55am (polls open at 7am). By 7:40am I was sporting my spiffy red "I Voted" sticker, the eighty-third voter to pull the lever in my precinct. Turnout appeared to be decent, but not overwhelming. Not many people registering at the polls either, which I take as a good sign.

Best of all, there were no idiots waving signs on the way in, and Moveon.org was notable absent (despite the promise to have reps on hand). Saint Paul will be heartened to hear that I observed no egregious violations of election law other than a couple of folks sporting Kerry buttons inside the polling place.

The question of the day of course is who will be our next president. The national average price for a gallon of gas is $2.02 (although under $2 a gallon here in Minnesota) and the Dow closed at 10,0054 yesterday, which means that according to my pocketbook indicators, the race is a toss up.

Last January, when the entire Northern Alliance gathered with our Dear Leader for lunch, he asked us to make predictions on the election. While my prognosis was not as irrationally exuberant as Hugh's (he even gave California to Bush), I did end up with Bush tallying 340 electoral votes to Kerry's 198, and the GOP gaining three senate seats.

Eleven months later, I'm still giving it to W, although the gap is much narrower. The way I see it now, Bush will collect 281 electoral votes and Kerry 257. The popular vote will go for Bush 51% to 48%. And a net gain of two senate seats for the GOP, one of them being Daschle's (oh will that be a sweet victory). My heart says that Bush will win Minnesota, but my head says turnout in the Twin Cities will keep it in the Democratic column by the narrowest of margins. I'm afraid those of us in the Gopher State face another four years of apologizing. Well, at least we have a lot of practice.

But hey, what do I know? I'm just a loner writing withering social commentary in my underpants. Get out to the polls yourself and see what the fuss is all about. And if you live in Minnesota, remember to write-in Scott Johnson in any and all of those judicial races with only one candidate. Minnesota needs the "Big Trunk of Justice", now more than ever.

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Monday, November 01, 2004

Election Credibility - I'll Vouch for That

Last Saturday during the NARN program we had a detailed, animated discussion on election fraud and the specific issues being raised in this campaign. My general opinion is that the concerns being promoted by the political parties and the media are overblown. The system, in Minnesota, is generally well set up to prevent any egregious violations, the type which could affect an election's outcome. The greater threat to the democratic system lies not with those inclined to commit fraud, but with uneducated and hyper motivated partisans descending on the polling places to second guess and make accusations regarding what they think they know and see.

I still believe that to be true, but I've discovered my analysis was wrong on one account. I specifically dismissed the concern about vouching. That is, confederates being planted by a party near each polling place, prepared to "vouch" for anyone who says they are a resident of that precinct, but without the identification to prove it. Background info, Minnesota allows a registered voter of a given precinct to vouch for the residency requirements of any other voter in that precinct, if they have personal knowledge of their residency. To quote Minnesota statute 201.061, one can register to vote at the polls based on:

(4) having a voter who is registered to vote in the precinct sign an oath in the presence of the election judge vouching that the voter personally knows that the individual is a resident of the precinct.

I felt that the "personal knowledge" requirement would prevent the incidence of casual, nearly anonymous vouching. My reasonable interpretation of that term was that the voucher would have prior knowledge of the specific address of that person's residence, which could then be proven to be within that precinct's borders. And if they didn't have prior and specific knowledge of this, an election judge could deny that person's status as a valid voucher.

Oh - how wrong I was . Discussions with county election executives have revealed that "personal knowledge" is to be interpreted with a bare minimum standard. The unregistered voter with no ID simply has to tell the voucher that they live in the precinct. And that's it, personal knowledge is established. Which makes me wonder why a voucher is necessary at all under the law. An election judge can be compelled to blindly accept someone's word just as well as a voucher can.

Last week, the guys at Powerline intercepted an email from the radical activist group ACT (Americans Coming Together) which advocated the above strategy. When I first read this post, I dismissed the analysis as incorrect. Reading it again, I now understand how correct they were.

Correct in their concern that the law is deeply flawed. But Powerline is not necessarily correct in their conclusion:

This email is a smoking gun of massive premeditated vote fraud. The ACT effort contemplates the prepositioning of registered voters as volunteers at their precincts of residence to provide the "vouching" necessary to get individuals registered to vote on election day in the precinct whether or not the volunteer "personally knows" the residence of the unregistered voter. It is a recipe for illegal voting in every precinct of the state.

Yes, the law in this regard is ridiculous, wrong, and does provide a prerequisite for illegal voting. But, for the folks from ACT, it's entirely legal. Those magnificent bastards are merely exploiting the laxity of naive Minnesota law.

But have no fear, it's still unlikely to allow "massive vote fraud." Take the Republican nightmare scenario often trotted out this time of year, that of the magical mystery bus of illegals pulling up and using a local stooge to vouch for them all. And then moving on to the next precinct to do the same thing. Technically, yes, under the law these folks would probably be allowed to vote (unless there was a witness at both precincts that could call them out). But before they voted, each individual would have to register to vote first. Meaning we'd get a name and an address for each of them. Making up a name is easy enough, but the address, there's the rub. If they haven't prepared their fraud sufficiently to actually cite a valid address (a valid one in each precinct they try to vote in), the jig is up. Because, the registration judge must check out any address given, to make sure the person is at the right precinct. If the prospective voter doesn't have an address to give, or makes one up that ain't in the precinct, they can't legally vote there. And if there is a busload of people perpetrating this scam all at the same time, they will draw immediate skeptical attention from election officials.

Yes, there are a few shifty loopholes to allow someone to vote even under those circumstances (which I won't elaborate on, since research shows our readership is full of shifty loophole exploiters). But the chances these techniques would be known and would be used on a systematic basis, on a scale large enough to make a difference, without it crumbling from the weight of its own complexity and manpower requirements? So close to zero that it doesn't bear mentioning.

So this evening, the night before the election, let your hearts be light. The citizen election judges will be on the case tomorrow, so don't sweat the specters of fraud. My advice is, vote. Then get the hell home to watch it all on TV. If you're wasting your time hanging around the polling place, you may miss one of the greatest shows in American political history.





A Johnson In Every Opening

After much heated debate amongst the editorial staff, Fraters Libertas is ready to offer our endorsements for the statewide judicial races here in Minnesota. If you want all the background information on the judicial candidates in order to make an intelligent, informed decision go here. But, if you want some half-baked advice from guys in boxers read on.

Minnesota Supreme Court

From what I can gather there are three positions on the MN Supreme Court up for grabs, but only one is being contested. That race features former Minnesota Viking Alan Page, the incumbent, against Magistrate Tim Tingelstad. There isn't much that stands out with Tingelstad, other than the fact that he graduated from law school at the University of North Dakota. But, in this case his educational background, and the fact that he isn't Alan Page is enough to get our vote. Alan Page lost four Super Bowls while playing with the Minnesota Vikings, and for those of us who grew up watching the Purple People Eaters those psychological scars have still not healed. And consider these deep thoughts offered by Page:

A quote from Justice Page on his re-election Internet home page summarizes his judicial philosophy: "The decisions made by the Minnesota Supreme Court affect the economic, community and family lives of all Minnesotans. Therefore, I believe a Supreme Court Justice has to understand not only the law, but life as well."

Fraters Libertas enthusiastically endorses Tim Tingelstad for Position Six on the Minnesota Supreme Court.

But what of the other two uncontested races? Often times voters like to have some fun with these contests and write-in the names of their favorite cartoon character or pet. But this year we want to offer a better write-in solution.

He's a blogger. He's a lawyer. And he's just the man to brutalize our criminals. Ladies and gentleman, your only choice for judicial write-in candidate for 2004 is...

...Scott Johnson from Power Line. He's got the name. He's got the know how. And in your hearts you know that he's got the 'nads for the job. Fraters Libertas encourages all right minded Minnesota voters to write-in Scott "The Big Trunk" Johnson in all unopposed judicial races.

Minnesota Court of Appeals

Position 3 offers a real choice for voters. Former Democratic congressman David Minge is battling Paul Elliot Ross. Ross is a member of the NRA, Minge the DFL. 'Nuff said.

Position 14 features a showdown between Judge R.A. (Jim) Randall and Daniel L. Griffith. Griffith served in the Army Reserve while Randall was in the Marines. Randall has been elected to the Court of Appeals three times, while Griffith lost his only previous race for public office in 2002 when he failed to convince voters that he was worthy of being the Koochiching County Attorney. Looks like we have a serious gravitas gap here. Besides, who can argue with this?

In the "Prabhudail" case [602 N.W.2d 413 (1999)], which dealt with whether the district court abused its discretion when it made a downward departure from the usual sentencing on a misdemeanor charge against a solicitor of an undercover prostitute, Judge Randall wrote in his dissenting opinion that soliciting prostitution "is not the most serious misdemeanor with which we deal."

Fraters Libertas endorses Judge R.A. Randall.

In the rest of the judicial races we remind you to:

Vote early, vote often. Vote for Scott Johnson.





Today's Law Enforcement Hero

The indispensable Matt Drudge directs us to a case in Florida illustrating the consequences of violating election laws:

A freelance journalist taking pictures of voters waiting outside the Palm Beach County elections headquarters was arrested after ignoring a deputy's orders to stop, sheriff's officials said. James S. Henry, of Sag Harbor, N.Y., was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest without violence.

Sheriff's Deputy Al Cinque tried to stop Henry as he shot pictures of about 600 people standing in line to vote Sunday afternoon. Henry began running away, but Cinque tackled him, the Palm Beach Post reported.

The deputy pinned Henry, 54, to the ground, yelling for him to stop moving, then punched him in the back. Cinque handcuffed Henry's left arm, pulled him to his feet and punched him again as Henry tried to hand him identification cards, according to the paper.


One wonders why the freelance journalist thought his identification cards were going to give him a free pass on breaking the law. Especially after he disobeyed an order and attempted to flee the scene. I fear the defense, "But officer, I'm a journalist!" may only have resulted in a few more whacks.

Let me take this opportunity to remind the Twin Cities media of Minnesota law relating to their presence at the polling places tomorrow. From Minnesota statute 204C.06:

Access for news media. The county auditor or municipal or school district clerk, or their designee, may, by written authorization, permit news media representatives to enter polling places for up to 15 minutes during voting hours to observe the voting process. A media representative must obtain prior authorization and present photo identification to the head election judge upon arrival at the polling place and must not otherwise:

(1) approach within six feet of an election judge or voter;

(2) converse with a voter while in the polling place;

(3) make a list of persons voting or not voting; or

(4) interview a voter within the polling place.


Intrepid reporters and columnists, to summarize, to get into the polling place, you need advance written authorization, you can't stay for more than 15 minutes, and you can't talk to or even come within 6 feet of anybody. Is that clear?

The statute doesn't specify what the specific punishment is for violating these laws. So I'll be contacting Palm Beach County Sheriff's Deputy Al Cinque for advice. He seems to have an effective approach to handling scofflaws.





Fashion Police

One reminder I'd like to send the citizenry of Minnesota regarding their trip to the polls tomorrow - leave your partisan wardrobe at home. Any attire bearing political slogans, defined as that which has the potential to influence someone's vote, (including hats, shirts, buttons, loose fitting jeans, unisex hemp yoga pants, whatever) is ILLEGAL within 100 feet of the polling place.

According to Minnesota Statue 211B.11:

A political badge, political button, or other political insignia may not be worn at or about the polling place on primary or election day.

Violation of this section is a petty misdemeanor.


To me, that sounds like a potential 1st Amendment violation. I suppose the argument comes down to what differentiates speech from behavior. And the intent of the law, prohibiting coercion at the time and place of voting, is entirely valid. Most importantly, it IS the law right now and it will be enforced tomorrow. Any objecting civil libertarians I run into will be politely told to write their Congressman, right after they take off the damn button.

In my observations, the wearing of political buttons and insignia is by far the most common violation of election law. And it's overwhelmingly done by Democrats. They have their campaign shirts, Wellstone memorabilia, trade union attire, or something obscene about Republicans, and always with big smiles on their faces.

It's clear they're happy to be involved in this act of disobedience to authority or at least by the act of subtly antagonizing their politically opposite neighbors. I think they're also driven by the romanticism associated with being a subversive. They fantasize that if Che Guevara was an upper middle class, net tax consuming, public employee living in Mac-Groveland and being happy to pay for a better Minnesota, this is exactly what he'd be doing. Wearing a partisan shirt into the polling place while voting for socialism. Grin.

Knowing that activity is illegal may even make the experience more vibrant for them. Here's hoping the thwack of my truncheon on the back of their skulls also adds to the radical chic thrill of the moment.

No, no, no. Nobody will be physically assaulted for violating Minnesota Statute 211B.11. But there will be a zero tolerance policy for this activity tomorrow. (At least where the law is being enforced. Folks standing in line to vote and noticing this type of thing at their local polling places may want to make a friendly reminder to their election judge about statute 211B.11.)

Enforcement will consist of politely asking the offender to remove any violating buttons or hats or to cover any shirts with a jacket. Those wearing political shirts, who do not have a jacket, will be asked to vote topless - a practice encouraged by Minnesota Statute 311.265B, commonly known as the "Hooters Amendment."

No, no, no. Nobody will be asked to vote topless. (Although I can't rule out begging.) They'll simply be asked to cover the slogan with their arms or some other shield, like a piece of paper. If this isn't possible (for example, if there are slogans on the back), they'll be asked to turn it inside out (hopefully they're wearing something underneath). At the most extreme, they'd be ask to leave and come back with legally compliant attire. (Although I've never witnessed the need for that to happen). Given the weather tomorrow, most folks will have jackets. Or someone else in the polling place can borrow them one. In the spirit of brotherhood and every vote counting, if necessary I'll give them my jacket. And if there's two folks in need, I'll throw in my shirt. Luckily, the "Live Free or Die" tattoo across my chest is not considered political speech.

So get out there and vote tomorrow. But remember, the law is the law. No campaigning in the polling place. Or else.

(This message brought to you by Election Judges For an Incident Free Election Day.)





Treacherous Behavior

Another conservative for Kerry? Jim Treacher presents the ten reasons he's not voting for George W. Bush at OpinionJournal. My fav is #9:

9. Two words: You. Are. Dumb.




Another Reason To Hate The Packers

As if you really needed one. Redskins lose; does that mean Kerry will win?

John Kerry supporters have a welcome omen for their candidate: The Green Bay Packers defeated the Washington Redskins on Sunday.

If history holds, the 28-14 result portends a victory for Kerry on Tuesday because the result of the Redskins' final home game before the presidential election has always accurately predicted the White House winner. If the Redskins win, the incumbent party wins. If they lose, the incumbent party is ousted.

"Oh, yeah, he's going to win. It's guaranteed," said Packers safety Darren Sharper, a Kerry supporter. "I don't have to vote now. Don't even have to go to the polls. Saved me a trip on Tuesday."


It's true. A Kerry win is now destined. So I urge all Kerry supporters to follow the sage advice of Darren Sharper and save yourself a trip by staying home on Tuesday. After all, it is guaranteed.

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TALK O' THE TOWN
We are the wind beneath the right wing.

Listen to the Northern Alliance Radio Network on Saturdays from 11am 'til 3pm on AM 1280-The Patriot:

* The First Team 11am-1pm
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Podcast Archives

This week on The First Team:

Brian bravely seeks to uncover the secrets of the Bikini Ice Fishing Team as he broadcasts live from the 2010 MN Sportsmen's Show in St. Paul.



The truth behind StarCaps

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2009-10 NARN LOON O' THE WEEK

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