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Friday, December 31, 2004
2004 Blogs Of Distinction Awards
Last year Saint Paul unveiled the inaugural Blogs of Distinction Awards. He explained his rationale for the creation of the BODies thusly: Why are we presuming to pass judgment on the world of amateur opinion editorializing? Well, why not us? This year, blogging awards have proliferated on the Internet like flashing, pulsating, popping ads on TwinsGeek. Worse yet, these unregulated arbiters of blogging excellence keep giving top recognition to the likes of that whiny kid from Star Trek and Hugh Hewitt. (No, they're not the same person.) The laughable injustice of these awards has compelled us to act. In summary, us presenting blogging awards may be a bad idea. But it's a bad idea whose time has come! So, without further ado, here are the official 2003 Blogs of Distinction. To all winners please remember, we kid because we love. The trend of over hyped blog awards has continued in 2004 with some little known publication called Time even getting into the act. We need the BODies now more than ever. Unfortunately, putting together the BODies was seriously cutting into Saint Paul's New Year's Eve drinking time. He just can't get into the proper holiday spirit unless he's planted on a bar stool with or three under his belt by noon. I'd like to say that Saint Paul passed the BODie baton to me, but in reality I've reluctantly picked it up from the ground after he carelessly tossed it aside. I will do my best to keep the franchise alive and kicking for another year. Dim the house lights please. It's time for the presentations to begin. The Least Handiest Handyman In the Blogosphere Award Runner up: Hugh Hewitt whose definition of a do-it-yourself home project is putting up his Christmas lights all be himself. Well, almost by himself. The Fetching Mrs. Hewitt did have to get the ladder out for him again this year. Winner: James Lileks is a talented scribe with a rapier wit. But when it comes to home improvements around Jasperwood such as putting shelves up in a basement storage space or adding a "lick of paint" to the side of his garage door he wisely seeks professional help. The Sugar Ray Leonard Award For Repetitive and Meaningless Promises of Retirement Winner: Coming back to claim a BODie for the second straight year is Rachel Lucas, who has once again returned to blogging, this time with the promise: ...consider yourselves forewarned that I have a lot to bitch about, as it has been building up for some months now, and this blog is not going to be as nice as Piquant Rants. Yeah that's right I said not as nice. Curse words will be used. Insults tossed forth carelessly. That sort of thing. My former blog got to be markedly unpleasant for me the minute I started worrying what elderly relatives or future in-laws or my more conservative section of readers would think if I said I hope Barbra Streisand suffers from chronic yeast infections. So screw all that. No more touchy-worry-cringey manners. Almost makes one pine for the kindler, gentler days of "asshat" doesn't it? The Award For Most Underappreciated Blog of 2004 Winner: You probably haven't heard of the relatively obscure local blog known as Power Line, but the three law talking guys who write there are doing some pretty good stuff. When are they going to start getting the recognition that they so richly deserve? The Award For Least Descriptive Blog Title For the second year in a row, this award is taken home by Blog of the Moderate Left , for even-handed, moderate commentary such as this: Oh and closed circuit to Senator Norm Coleman (R-MN): You have now lost my vote. Permanently. The DFL could run Josef Stalin against you, and I'd vote for him. As readers of that blog know, its proprietor considers Josef Stalin to be a fellow moderate. The World Still Turns Without You Award Runner Up: Captain Ed who felt that he had to explain why he only had two posts on Christmas Eve. Ummm, Ed? We sort of figured that you were busy with the whole holiday thing. Winner: Mitch Berg at Shot In The Dark who was compelled to bring in a guest blogger when he was out of town for a few days. God knows life wouldn't be the same without daily updates at SITD. The Award For Best Satirical Look At A Real Life Married Couple Honorable Mention: Our own Saint Paul for his controversial and critically acclaimed Newspaper Newlyweds. Runner Up: The colorful couple at Spitbull, who prove that it's possible to share a bed as well as a blog. Winner: The dynamic duo of David Strom and Margaret Martin from Our House, showing that marriage is about more than love. It's also about raising parakeets, lusting after bar waitresses and Canadian television personalities, and slashing rates on income taxes for upper income brackets. The Monty Hall Award For Worst Blog Offer Of The Year Winner: rphaedrus's One Used Cat His name is King. He is a senior cat with diabetes, and I don't see a good way to take care of his needs with my pending travel. If someone would be willing to adopt him - temporarily or permanently - I would be greatly indebted. Some things to know: * He is Diabetic. He needs regular visits to a vet, sometimes needs regular insulin shots, and tends to go to the bathroom more than normal cats, meaning he goes through more litter. * He can be tempermental. To those who he trusts and feels comfortable with, he is the most trusting, loving cat you'll ever meet. Seriously - I can do anything with him. However, to those he hasn't learned to trust, he can be touchy. If they don't make a point to say hi to him and they are too loud or energetic, he tends to react poorly. Needless to say, he should NOT be in a household with children or hyper dogs. If you are the one who feeds him and treat him affectionately, you will probably be one of the ones he trusts. He also likes women a lot better than he likes men. Some of these negative traits are due to the fact that he was abused by his former owner's boyfriend. Some of them are because he is part Russian Blue, and they are like that. Don't wait to act on this one. An offer this good just can't last. The "Haley's Comet" Award For Rare Blogging Posts There are many contenders for this coveted award, as the recipient is likely to be holding down a real job with a real life outside of blogging. Finalists who did not make the cut included our own Atomizer, who after a recent wedding will be expected to up his productivity. Another finalist was the Nihilist In Golf Pants, though the interminable lengths of his posts when he gets around to them led to his eventual downfall. The runner up in this category is our own J.B. Doubtless whose posts are rarer than a gourmet meal at TGI Fridays, and coincidentally consist of generally misguided superlatives related to the food at Fridays, Applebee's, and other mediocre establishments. And the winner is... Mr. Cranky, who managed to crank out all of six posts in the entire year. Remember folks, it's not the quantity, it's the quality. The Award For Best Use of Wishful Thinking in the Guise of Informed Analysis Runner Up: Fraters own Chad The Elder for guaranteeing that the Red Sox would choke in Game Seven of the ALCS. The Red Sox of course went on to crush the Yankees 10-3 on their way to a World Series championship. Winner: Flash from Centristy, violating a cardinal rule of blogging - never go on record predicting anything with certainty. Especially when you have no idea what you're talking about. Here's his August 22 prediction on the prospects of a Bush re-election and the effect of the Swift Boat Vets for Truth on the race: As the Righties continue to implode on themselves, Kerry will gain ground and leave them in the dust. BushCo. is in a rut right now, and only the RNC convention will be able to assist in the hemorrhaging. Not a good time to be a Republican, well, for those that are objective, anyway. The apologists simply have no objectivity left, and will pound this story until a few days after everyone else has moved along, and they will find themselves only talking to each other! As Flash learned a few painful months later, 60,693,281 "unobjective apologists" are all you need. The Barbara Eden "Genie, get back in the bottle" Award Winner: Vox Day for spending the better part of the year championing the repeal of women's suffrage. The Most Self Reverential Blog Post Award John Hawkins at Right Wing News for this tribute to Ronald Reagan (and himself): But, I feel like I owe to the Gipper to do my best to send him off right. So, I'm going to spend the next couple days doing what I can to pay tribute to one of the greatest figures of the 20th century and a better man than I'll ever be. Well there's breaking news, one of the greatest Presidents in American history is a better man than some blogger will ever be. I guess we'll have to take his word that this is high praise. Because, for all any of us know about John Hawkins, Charles Manson is a better man than he'll ever be. The Award For Most Boring Color Scheme In A Blog Winner: SCSUScholars with their sterile white look. How about a little color there guys? A splash of off-yellow perhaps? The Award For Biggest Waste Of Time By A Blogger Runner Up: The 5,362,408 members of the blogosphere who spend vast amounts of time on our blogging obsession. Time that could be spent on family, work, education, and physical fitness. Time that none of us is ever getting back. Winner: Chuck Olsen from Blogumentary who has spent years working on his documentary on blogging that has been screened a grand total of one time (despite a rave review from Mother Jones). Whenever the 5,362,408 of us feel guilty for wasting time, we can just remember that it's nothing compared to the time that Chuck has pissed away. The Award For Least Enticing Opening Line to a Blog Paragraph Again, from our friend R Phaedrus: Let me tell you a story about me. This one also wins the award for most honest description of every post ever done in the history of the blogosphere. That's all for the 2004 Blogs of Distinction Awards. See you next year. [Thanks to the Nihilist in Golf Pants, JB Doubtless, and Saint Paul for helping put the 2004 BODies together.] Labels: Blogs-Local
End Of Year Mailbag
Peter from Sarasota has a plan for Tsunami alerts: How can the world avoid another 100,000 deaths from the next Tsunami? The Japanese are most concerned about tsunamis and are very serious about tracking anything that might cause a tsunami in the Pacific. My solution: First, encourage the Japanese Government to accept the responsibility for monitoring the entire world and install deep-ocean monitors in all of the world's oceans. Second, forget about using government and diplomatic channels for tsunami alerts. Rather, the Japanese would communicate directly and immediately to the various satellite TV news companies (CNN, BBC, Sky, Star, etc.). Third, forget any thoughts of providing funds for Third World countries to install their own regional tsunami alert systems. These countries have enough problems getting their trains to run on time. They could not handle issuing tidal wave alerts for tsunamis that might hit them once ever thirty years. Dave has a request: There I was enjoying the bombast of Nick Coleman's latest rant, but page 2 requires me to log into the Strib database which I refuse to do. Then when I try and back click back to your site, it keeps me locked into their website (behavior I think is just basically not very courteous to web surfers in general) and doesn't let me get back to the site where I came from. Request: If linking to an article in the Strib, could you copy and paste it rather than just link? I absolutely refuse to register with the Strib. Posting the entire Coleman column would take up a lot of valuable real estate, and is probably not entirely legal either. Our suggestion for dealing with the Strib's onerous registration requirements are to throw a spanner into their demographic capturing works. For example, Saint Paul's Strib profile shows that he's a well-to-do, sixty-eight year old, divorced, bisexual woman living in Sauk Centre. Father Matthew responds to my post on the Strib's look at Christian bloggers, and the low traffic levels they seem to have: It seems that Catholic blogs (and probably most religion-specific blogs) get quite a bit less traffic than the leading political-oriented news blogs. Mark Shea had one of the biggest Catholic blogs until he suspended it recently and he claimed something like 1,000 to 3,000 daily visits. My own blog gets something below 700 visits per week and I'm actually better than average for a Catholic blog. Remember that Catholics are only 22% of the population, and active Catholics maybe less than half of that. Once you factor in how many avid net users are in that group you see why......it's a niche market. I sent GutRumbles an email complaining about this injustice and got very little sympathy from him. Fr Matthew K SoDakMonk None of that fake "frater" stuff here - I'm a REAL monk! Whoa padre, back it up, back it up. (beep, beep, beep) Fake monks? None us have ever claimed to be monk-like in any way unless you count JB's unplanned period of celibacy a few years back. If you're looking for monk imposters however, you might want to take a look here. Happy New Year everybody. Thursday, December 30, 2004
Laughs With Our Losses
A new Nelson is up. This week he prepares us for Vikings/Gophers defeats to come, bravely answering once and for all the musical question, are you ready for some football? Excerpt: Fortunately, there are plenty of ways fans with losing teams can get ready for some football, and encourage their rowdy friends to come over and prepare themselves for some as well! To start, try getting everyone ready for some foosball. It's a very similar game, except in football the men are larger and have arms, but otherwise it's hard to tell them apart. Foosball is a good warm-up, because it's about 1/18th scale, so it takes eighteen times less effort to get ready for it.
The Same Old Song
I have perused the avalanche of Nick Coleman commentary from the blogosphere, including this insightful rendering: Nick Coleman, colunista do Minneapolis Star-Tribune, escreveu um artigo (acesso mediante registo gratuito) acusando o Power Line de fazer parte de uma cadeia de blogues de direita dedicados a atacar a imprensa mainstream, ao serviço de certos "poderes" And my meta analysis yields the conclusion that the primary reaction is: Where are Nick Coleman's editors? Can't they intervene to prevent him from hurting himself or others (like the Star Tribune's reputation) again? I do not know the answer to that question. But I will say it is not a new question. As a matter of fact, almost exactly one year ago today, that question was posed regarding Nick Coleman. No this wasn't in reference to a rage against progress and the irresistible tide of the future column. No, this was regarding something far more disturbing. That is, the poetry of Nick Coleman. For years and years and years, someone named Bill McAuliffe has been submitting end of the year poems to the Star Tribune, attempting to summarize the events of the year in a light-hearted, amusing way. In execution it is, year after year, absolute doggerel. Corny, clichéd, disrythmic, dyspeptic pap. For whatever reason, it is the Star Tribune's tradition to publish it, year after year after blessed year. (Suspected reason, the entrenched nonresponsiveness of a monopoly toward consumer demand.) But last year, the annual McAuliffe epic was deemed insufficient to satisfy the complete lack of demand for it. So Nick Coleman wrote virtually the same poem a few days later - and they published it! Click here for all the sordid details (because, lord knows, you won't find them in the Star Tribune archives anymore). I'll sum up now as I did then about the oversight at the Star Tribune: Embarrassingly out of touch or embarrassingly out of control? My money is on the latter, but I wouldn't be surprised at either. By the way, as the end of the year draws near, the clock is ticking down to the magic hour when McAuliffe's poem is published again. The only question is, will there just be one of these things or two? The paid circulation waits ... and worries.
Credit Where It's Due
I just wanted to clarify that the spot-on satirical look inside the Star Tribune editorial board that I posted on Tuesday was the work of Robert, one of our readers. Looking back on the post now, I can see that I did not communicate that clearly enough at the time. Chock it up to travel fatigue after a full day spent driving through Wisconsin. Kudos to Robert for a job very well done. Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Ouch
I missed all but the last fifteen minutes of tonight's embarrassing loss by Team USA to Belarus. The only good that may come of it, is if it serves as a wake up call for the squad as they head into tomorrow's showdown with the hated Czechs. Chin up boys.
Regarding the delusional Tom Shales comment linked to yesterday, about how the Rathergate documents have "not yet been proved" as forgeries, I direct you to page 39 of Hugh Hewitt's terrific new book on the birth of the new information revolution, Blog. Excerpts (transcribed by me, non-contiguous):
The now famous 60 Minutes 2 broadcast ran on September 8, 2004 and - based primarily on memos allegedly written by Bush superior Lt. Col. Jerry Killian in 1973 - the story asserted that Bush did not do his duty and had in fact disobeyed direct orders. Whether or not these charges, had they been true, would have mattered in the campaign is beside the point, because they were not true. The Killian memos were forgeries. In fact, they were bad forgeries. The morning I read Powerline's initial entry I immediately turned to Google to locate a document expert to interview on my radio show. I found him in Farrell Shriver, a highly qualified document expert. I interviewed him on air on the ninth, and transcribed the conversation on my blog in the hope of reassuring bloggers generally that expert opinion backed them up. The next day I would publish emails from Professor Robert "Corky" Cartwright at Rice University that would be widely cited as more definitive evidence that the forgeries were in fact forgeries. INDC Journal had found another expert in Dr. Phillip Bouffard, who declared that he was 90 percent positive that the documents were faked. Dr. Joseph Newcomer posted a detailed and final exposition on why the forgeries were forgeries, and the issue became undebatable, except by kooks and Dan Rather. To that list, please add Tom Shales, media critic of the Washington Post. Or would that be redundant? I'm only about half way through a comprehensive reading of Blog, but it's been terrific so far. (My first pass, of course, was just looking for our name. And Hugh doesn't disappoint, providing several generous attributions. Favorite one, from page 109: [Powerline] are also the senior members of The Northern Alliance - a group of Minnesota-based blogs that includes Lileks, Captain's Quarters, SCSU Scholars, Shot In The Dark, and Spitbull, and which are collectively changing the way Minnesota thinks. Did I mention Fraters Libertas? They are also part of The Northern Alliance, in the way that the crazy aunt in the basement is part of the family.) In Blog, Hewitt chronicles the development of the medium via the four most influential episodes so far: 1) Trent Lott's resignation, 2) Howell Raines's resignation, 3) John Kerry's Christmas in Cambodia stories, and 4) Rathergate. Hewitt argues, quite persuasively, that blogging will change the way people around the world access information. If so, this book is destined to be a seminal account of the medium. Beyond the history documented and trends identified, what Hewitt does so well is capture the excitement of blogging. Lest we forget, the primary reason any of us started this is because it provided personal enjoyment. It was (and is) fun. Expressing our opinions on issues and countering the MSM view of reality was liberating and exhilarating, even before we had actual readers. Then just a few short years later, the merit based stars of blogosphere broke through and started getting mass exposure, and acceptance, by holding institutions and power accountable for their transgressions. Think back to the Dark Ages (to extend a Hewitt metaphor), when the local monopoly newspaper was delivered daily to our front doors and three singularly-minded network news broadcasts beamed into our living rooms, each promoting political agendas largely contrary to our beliefs and heaping derision on our perspective. Who would have thought one day we could speak back, on an equal footing? And not just speak back, but also win the argument, based on the facts and the ability to persuade? Not me, friend. But that is exactly what has occurred. It is a tale of freedom and mass empowerment. And that's the spirit Hewitt captures in Blog. (I can only imagine what awaits me when I actually have time to read the whole book!) I strongly recommend you pick up a copy soon. Something I'd advise, even if I didn't receive a free promotional copy. (You can trust me on that, I'm a blogger. Labels: Books
It's Dr. Monkeystein's World...
...we just live in it. Now, if we can just get that embassy built in Jerusalem, everything will be set for their long-awaited return.
Jealousy Is So Unbecoming
Just a quick question since I don't much time for mindless musings today: How many times has Nick Coleman even been mentioned (to say nothing of appearing on the cover or being part of a featured story) in Time magazine? Anyone? Beuller? Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Send In The Clown Redux
Even when in a hotel room in Deerfield, Illinois, I'm never far from the call of duty. And an e-mail from Robert speculating on what may be going on inside the castle walls of the Star Tribune editorial board was enough to stir me to action: Around a large oak conference table festooned with blank notepads, pencils, and Starbucks cups sits the editorial staff of the Star Tribune. It is now one half hour into the meeting, and progress is slow. They had already posted an editorial on the disaster in Tuesday's edition, but it was nothing more than standard sympathy coupled with calls for more comprehensive warning systems. Now, with the death toll increasing by the hour, It was clear that this was turning into something monumental. A new editorial needed to be written. This time blame was to be assigned. But connecting the dots was proving difficult. "There's got to be a connection we can make!" Shouted Jim Boyd, the Deputy Editor. "If it was atmospheric, it would be a no-brainer" Managing Editor Scott Gillespie replied, "just yell 'Kyoto' and it's a done deal." "But, this is geological. I mean, as evil as he is, I don't think even he had anything to do with this one. But no way are we going to let him off the hook." said Jim. "Oh, no, we won't. But it's pretty clear we have to come up with an angle that makes sense." Scott answered. "Is there anything the U.S. has been doing in the last four years that could have caused a seismic disturbance of this caliber?" "You mean like drilling for oil, or underground nuclear tests?" Asked Susan Albright, The OpEd Editor. "Yeah, stuff like that. Or that low frequency noise the Navy uses to bother dolphins. There's lots of things our military is doing to the ground." Susan took a sip off her Venti skim half-caf one Splenda sugar free vanilla extra hot latte. "How about something along the lines of global warming causing the ocean to be more full of water and that made the waves bigger than they should have been? That way we can nail Bush and the SUV drivers for thousands of unnecessary deaths." "Or!" Jim perked up. "This is only a foreshadowing of many, many similar tragedies to come if we don't ratify Kyoto." He was moving his hand from left to right in the air to simulate lines of type. Scott pointed at Jim. "Now we're getting somewhere! The 'we're in for a lot more of this because of Bush' angle!" "We've got to go with it!" Chimed Susan. "In fact, screw the editorial. This is totally Sunday 1A. Wait till those idiot suburbanites wake up Sunday morning and find out what a waste their lives have been." "There's only one person on our staff who can write this piece with the gravity and intelligence that is required." Said Boyd. "A real journalist!" said Susan. "Someone who knows stuff!" Said Scott. "NICK!" Said all three in unison. Jim took a sip of his small skim not so hot extra froth Chai. "This is beautiful. Not only will he tie the whole thing to Bush and the Republicans, but he can work in a homeless angle and something about books, too." "Ahh, the homeless and books." Scott sighed. "So, where is Nick, anyway?" Asked Susan. A hush fell over the conference room. Almost imperceptibly, the lights dimmed ever so slightly. Susan noticed that Scott was staring at Jim. She in turn looked at Jim too. Jim seemed to be bathed in the glow from a sole spotlight recessed in the ceiling tile. Jim slowly placed both elbows on the table and rested his bearded chin on his fists. For the first time, Susan noticed how worn the elbow patches on his jacket had become in the last four years. "The truth is," Jim started, "nobody really knows where Nick is. He could be in a West Seventh barber shop, or a White Castle on University. He could be at a shelter, or a downtrodden school. He could be at a gala Republican fundraiser or a Twins game. He could be riding the 17A with laid off union workers or standing in line with the poor waiting for flu shots." "He carries no cell phone or pager. He comes in, submits his column, and rushes back out to the streets. No one, not even Laura, knows where he is at any given time. He's just" Jim paused, "there." "Then how will we get him to write the feature in time for Sunday?" Susan asked, her voice showing concern. "Don't worry." Scott said. "He'll know. He always knows." "He knows stuff" Said Jim.
Hope Springs Eternal
Washington Post Media Critic Tom Shales pulls his head out of the sand long enough to present his year end review, including this characterization of Rathergate: Tireless press critics during war or peacetime, the conservatives were handed a valuable new weapon when CBS News fumbled a report detailing the president's shoddy record as a member of the National Guard back in Texas. The report was attacked virtually the moment it aired on "60 Minutes"; documents used to bolster the allegations were condemned by conservative critics as phony and forged, though no forging has yet been proved. It sounds like he's still holding out for Divine Intervention on that one. Who says these guys aren't religious? There are approximately five embarrassingly flawed/distorted assumptions in those two sentences alone (not bad for the preeminent media critic in the country). The largest of which being that the burden of proof still lies with those who've already comprehensively destroyed the credibility of those ridiculous documents, instead of those attempting to use them to degrade the reputation of the President of the United States. Jim Treacher's comments quoted yesterday bear repeating: Okay, I'm no Howard Kurtz or anything, but I've seen one or two episodes of Law & Order in my day, and ... isn't the burden of proof on the accuser? It is? Okay. And isn't this crewcutted septuagenarian fadebrain the one who made the really big serious accusation? He is? Check. So ... isn't he sort of, you know, under the obligation to verify his claims? And not in a position to sit back and demand that everybody else prove to his satisfaction that it's not clearly bullshit? Is it out of line for me to ask this stuff? Sorry. Sorry. But I mean, if these memos were scribbled in burnt sienna crayon on the back of a Denny's placemat and somebody had the unmitigated gall to say something about it, would that be part of the 'professional rumor mill'? I'm just asking here, no big deal." Arrogant media bias being practiced by the person assigned by a MSM institution to report on media bias. It makes one nostalgic for Brian Lambert, wherever he is today.
Not Trying To Cause A Big Sensation
Speaking of Green Day BOTH of the Star Tribune music scribes voted the snotty punk-pop band's record "American Idiot" to be the Best of the Year. I found this somewhat surprising considering John Bream is a "Bong rattling bass of Mel Shockter" Baby Boomer and Chris Riemenschneider is more of a "The Buzzcocks saved my life" Gen X'er. You would expect it from the latter and not the former. There was a time when the paper employed only a single music writer. But after years of reading Bream's glowing reviews of Joan Biaz concerts, Star Tribune leadership decided new blood was needed. I can imagine the lunchroom conversation at the Star Tribune between Bream and Remmy when they decided to vote Green Day's record to be The Best: Remmy: I'm thinking that new Green Day record may be the best of the year Bream: (humming) Remmy: No, not Green Tambourine. The BAND is Green Day Bream (humming) Remmy: That's Green RIVER, by CCR! Bream: (humming another) Remmy: NO! That's Green Earrings by Steely Dan! Do you even know who Green Day is? Bream: (blank, expressionless look of someone who has attended too many Foghat reunions) Remmy: Green Day is an explosive post-punk band out of San Francisco. They sing of America's fascism and racism and try to spread social justice Bream: Social justice? Remmy: Yes, just like you guys did in the sixties Bream: Giddyup!
The Trouble With Being Cool
Glenn Reynolds wrote recently how even some hipsters are not so interested in Green Day's teenage anti-Americanism. He then let us know that they, like, couldn't hold a candle to a TRUE punk like Johnny Ramone, man: Johnny Ramone crapped bigger than these guys, and everybody knows it. And this man is an adult! I'm not sure which is sillier, Green Day's alienated stoner my-parents-are-divorced-and-I'm-angry-about-it nonsense or Glenn Reynolds' "That's not a knife" punk one- upsmanship. Punk was adolescent and unlistenable in 1977 and it is adolescent and unlistenable now.
Separated At Birth?
Perky goverment largesse facilitator Matthew Lesko and Blogger of the Year Scott Johnson
Book Notes
It seems that the entire blogosphere, in addition to large parts of the troposphere and the stratosphere, is abuzz with excitement about a recently released book. The author's brilliance is a generally accepted fact and, despite languishing in relative obscurity to the majority of the country, is poised to make great strides in the coming year. I must also add that this man has lent considerable support to me as well as Fraters Libertas in the recent past. I speak, of course about the new book entitled The Business Of The Practice Of Law: What Every Associate Should Know About Law Firm Life by William Koster. About the author, noted radio personality Hugh Hewitt once wrote in a personal note to me: "Listen to your dad. Bill's smart." High praise indeed from a man who, I believe, also has a new book available. I haven't heard much about Hugh's latest effort, but I'm sure he'll sell a few copies as well. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of both books next time you're browsing Amazon. You'll make both authors very happy...and I think Hugh could really use the help.
Tell It Like It Is
In today's Pioneer Press, Mark Yost continues his series on the causes of outsourcing. Today's focus: immigrants. In short, we're getting the wrong ones. Instead of basing entry on our national interest (that is, inviting in those likely to contribute positively to our way of life), we're basing it on other factors, like being nice and making sure recent immigrants get to bring with them every nut from their extended family trees. Interesting stuff, of the sort not usually found on local editorial pages. Beyond the ideological perspective, you've got to love the way Yost serves it up straight, no chaser. Excerpt: The net result of the 1965 change in immigration policy is that today's newcomers are dumber and less entrepreneurial than those immigrants at the turn of the last century who contributed so much to the economic hegemony of the United States. The local Left is used to a little more mollycoddling, a little more sugar coating than that. Actually they're used to not hearing this perspective at all. As such, I expect to see squeals of protest and calls for fines and suspensions on the Letters to the Editor page. The only question is what they'll find to be more offensive, the characterization of recent immigrants as "dumber" or the characterization of American economic hegemony as a good thing. Monday, December 27, 2004
Swiss Cheese
Team USA held off the fiesty Swiss to claim a 6-4 victory in the World Juniors tonight. With the win, the US squad is now 2-0 in pool play headed into Wednesday's showdown with hated Belarus. But the play of goalie Al Montoya has to be a concern for the coaching staff. He was shaky at times against the Russians on Saturday. Tonight he was even worse, giving up two incredibly soft goals. A weak link in the nets probably won't cost the US when they play teams like Belarus. But if Montoya doesn't get it together soon, there won't be a repeat of last year's championship for Team USA.
The Year in Quotes
In case you missed it from last week, Tim Blair, Australian master in the art of ridicule and own petard hoisting presents the year in quotes (scroll down to Quotes of 2004 - January). Excerpted from stories he covered in his blog this year, it's got a heavy Aussie emphasis, but the level of critique is so sharp, and the nature of the Left he ridicules so uniformly recognizable, it's immediately accessible to a worldwide audience. Even more so for folks in this corner of the world. From September, memories of Rathergate, featuring our own Bloggers of the Year and their presumptive Goliath like adversaries: "Later today the Boston Globe, the A.P. and Dan Rather all present new and damning information about how George W. Bush got moved to the front of the line to get in the Texas Air National Guard, and how he then went AWOL. I am putting every ounce of trust I have in my fellow Americans that a majority of them get this, get the injustice of it all, and get the sad, sick twisted irony of how it relates very, very much to our precious Election 2004." -- Michael Moore was so looking forward to Bush getting nailed on 60 Minutes II "Tomorrow morning, dinosaur media across the country will be headlining the 60 Minutes 'scoop' as a blow to the Bush campaign." -- Powerline, one of the prime Rathergate blogs, makes an accurate call "George W. Bush's cover story on his National Guard service is rapidly unraveling." -- Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe "I know that this story is true." -- Dan Rather "Until someone shows me definitive proof that they are not [authentic], I don't see any reason to carry on a conversation with the professional rumor mill." -- Dan Rather "Okay, I'm no Howard Kurtz or anything, but I've seen one or two episodes of Law & Order in my day, and ... isn't the burden of proof on the accuser? It is? Okay. And isn't this crewcutted septuagenarian fadebrain the one who made the really big serious accusation? He is? Check. So ... isn't he sort of, you know, under the obligation to verify his claims? And not in a position to sit back and demand that everybody else prove to his satisfaction that it's not clearly bullshit? Is it out of line for me to ask this stuff? Sorry. Sorry. But I mean, if these memos were scribbled in burnt sienna crayon on the back of a Denny's placemat and somebody had the unmitigated gall to say something about it, would that be part of the 'professional rumor mill'? I'm just asking here, no big deal." -- [blogger] Jim Treacher "The fear I have is: How do you know who's doing the Web logs? And what happens when this stuff gets into the mainstream, and it eventually turns out that the '60 Minutes' documents were perfectly legitimate?" -- Emerson College professor Jeffrey Seglin "I have never been more confident of a story in my life." -- Dan Rather "Based on what we now know, CBS News cannot prove that the documents are authentic, which is the only acceptable journalistic standard to justify using them in the report. We should not have used them. That was a mistake, which we deeply regret." -- CBS News President Andrew Heyward
The Horse Latitudes of Talk Radio
Are any talk radio hosts working this week? I tuned in the Bill Bennett show this morning, only to hear some droning hack filling in. Then I discovered the always available Dave Thompson subbing for Bob Davis. Even Laura Ingraham's show was a "best of." The only good news around the morning dial was that O'Connell and Rosenbaum were also on vacation. Don't hurry back boys. UPDATE: Michael Savage is home for the holidays as well. Meanwhile, James doesn't think much of the fill ins at KSTP AM1500 for Rosenbaum and O'Connell: Good lord, man. Did you actually listen to their replacements? Two women, one of whom was that nails-on-the-chalkboard Annette Meeks (sp?) and the other was some token lefty who kept throwing is cute lefty asides and then incited a segment on that silly Buy Blue website ("Oh, I always shop at Costco; they contribute exclusively to the Democrats!"). Geez. I don't dislike Ron & Mark nearly as much as you do, but I'll take them any day to the single A replacements today.
A Christmas Ode To The 'Sphere
I'm not sure what's the more disturbing visual in this take off on "The Night Before Christmas" by the occurmudgeon; me and Hugh dancing or Rich Lowry wearing chaps. You are advised not to read this nightmare kindling before bedtime.
With no NHL season and most college hockey teams taking a break, it's a tough time of year for those of us who follow puck. Thankfully, we now have the IIHF World Junior Hockey Championships taking place just down the road in Grand Forks, North Dakota and Thief River Falls, Minnesota to fill the void. On Saturday, I watched Team USA (the defending champs) battle the Russkies on ESPN2 in a highly entertaining contest that ended with a 5-4 U.S. victory.
Tonight, the U.S. faces off against the hated Swiss at 8pm (also on ESPN2). This is dang good hockey featuring some of the best young players in the world including a number of sure-fire future NHL stars. The last time I saw Sydney Crosby play, he was fifteen and playing for Shattuck-St. Mary's in a game against my high school alma mater (which I attended with JB Doubtless immediately after the unforgettable 2003 Hugh Hewitt On Ice event). Now, Crosby is one of the stars for Team Canada, as evidenced by his three point effort in Canada's 7-3 tournament opening victory over Slovakia. We very well could be headed for a rematch of last year's championship game between the Canucks and the Yanks. Now, wouldn't that be fun eh? Labels: Hockey (02-05)
Tough Love
Last night, I poured myself a generous glass of Superstition from Isle of Jura, slipped into a warm bath (I'm nursing a thigh muscle bruised as a result of a close encounter with a puck), and cracked open Hugh Hewitt's latest tome, Blog: Understanding the Information Reformation That's Changing Your World. Like Hugh's other recent works, "Blog" is concise, to the point, and eminently readable. It's a wonder that he found the time to pen a thoughtful, well-documented look at the rise of the blogosphere what with his radio show, teaching, and blogging of his own. He's nothing if not prolific, and we're fortunate to have a visionary thinker like Hugh on our side. I would encourage anyone interested in the blogosphere and what it might look like in the future to order up a copy of "Blog" today. I got about halfway through the book last night, but also did a little peeking ahead. In one of the chapters near the end, this paragraph caught my eye and brought back a few memories: Design savvy bloggers mock my layout, and rightly so. At a party thrown by Lileks at Jasperwood, following a tour of his Hummels room and the drinking of much fine single-malt scotch, the assembled bloggers turned on me as if one and conducted a blogging intervention devoted to telling me how much Hugh Hewitt [the site] sucks. Only because we care Hugh. Only because we care.
Post-Modern Teenagers
From Charles Murray's Human Accomplishment: The Pursuit of Excellence in the Arts and Sciences, 800 B.C. to 1950: Gloomy prognoses also sell short the way in which thoughtful human beings are drawn to fundamental questions of existence. "Why is there something rather than nothing?" is a question that none of us can avoid completely, even in times when such questions are least fashionable. "What does it mean to live a good life?" is another. It is difficult to think about these things outside spiritual frameworks. The successive blows to traditional religion thought to have been struck by Darwin, Freud, and Einstein made some intellectuals give up the option of thinking about such questions within such frameworks, but there are good reasons for thinking that this too will prove to be ephemeral. It may well be that the period from the Enlightenment through 20C will eventually be seen as a kind of adolescence of the species--a time when human beings were deprived of the comforting simplicities of childhood and exposed to more complex knowledge about the world. In the manner of adolescents, humans reacted injudiciously, thinking that they possessed wisdom that invalidated all the things that had gone before--if Darwin was right, then Aquinas was no longer worth reading; if Freud was right, the "Nicomachean Ethics" must be wrong. But adolescence is temporary, and when it passes young adults discover that their parents had gotten smarter. That may be happening with the advent of the new century, as glib answers to solemn questions start to wear thin. Sunday, December 26, 2004
Ever wondered what it would be like to have Goose Gossage and Lorenzo Lamas wish you a Merry Christmas?
Barring the ingestion of powerful mind altering drugs or profound depression, your answer is probably "no." Which makes me wonder exactly what's going on over at the North American Aerospace Defense Command. The fine folks in charge of defending our skies also does the service of tracking the progress of Santa Claus on Christmas Eve for all the children of the world interested in such things. Which is great. Especially if you like flash animation of Santa buzzing aircraft carriers and nuclear submarines in war zones (and I do). But this year, NORAD also presents video Celebrity Messages, in honor of NORAD's 50th year of tracking Old Saint Nick on Christmas Eve. And all I can say is, at least we can rest easy that the Pentagon isn't blowing its budget on talent fees. Click on over and receive the finest of half-hearted, slightly confused greetings from the likes of Jose Canseco, Eric Roberts, Warren Moon, and Erik Estrada. (I knew it was difficult to find pro-US military celebrities in Hollywood, but this is ridiculous). And don't forget George Stroumboulopoulos. No, not George Stephanopoulos. This is George Stroumboulopoulos. An entirely different hairy celebrity Greek. Next check out the best wishes from Brett Butt, Hayden Panettiere, Brie Larson, and Diamond Dave Somervile. Then, of course, hit Goolge, to find out exactly who Brett Butt, Hayden Panettiere, Brie Larson, and Diamond Dave Somervile are. Parents everywhere, and Donald Rumsfeld, will be relieved to hear that despite their names, none of them are adult film stars. Not yet, anyway. Labels: Christmas
I did not witness the second half of the Vikings-Packers tilt on Christmas Eve. Instead, I made the spiritually correct choice of attending the early Mass at St. John's (in Rochester) on Friday night with the family. Spiritually correct in the broader, celebrating-the-birth-of-the-Savior sense. And also in avoiding having to witness yet another spirit killing loss for the Purple. In context with the rest of the night's meaning, ignoring the Vikings and their exploits felt right and made for an even more silent and peaceful mindset.
If there were any doubt that I might have missed this result of the game entirely, my email inbox was filled with glad tidings of the season, such as this from an ex-pat Packers fan in LA: A game winning field goal from Ryan Longwell. There is a Santa Claus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Still worried about Davenport? Merry Christmas! Your favorite Packer fan in Los Angeles, Jack. Davenport's stats (11 rushes, 40 yards) reinforce the contention that his performance was not integral to the game's outcome. But Vikings coach (for now) Mike Tice isn't willing to give up the ghost yet, with this potential allusion to the invisible .... er, hand, of Najeh Davenport. "We lost another tough game," Vikings coach Mike Tice said. "It takes your insides out. When you've worked as hard as we've worked and gone through all the crap we've gone through, it rips out part of your insides that don't grow back." Let that be the final word on the Vikings and Najeh Davenport. No, let's let this be. Labels: Football
A Hallelujah In Need Of A Chorus
Yesterday, the Star Tribune had an article about Christian bloggers, which opened thusly: Those shepherds would have a much easier time nowadays telling folks about their visit with the newborn Christ child. They'd just prop their staffs in the corner, fire up the Internet and do their glorifying and praising in a blog. Web logs are no longer the exclusive domain of geeks, cranks and the self-absorbed. It appears that Atomizer, JB Doubtless, and Saint Paul now have company. The piece went on to talk about a couple of Catholic bloggers that I have never heard of, Joe Convert and Musings of a Catholic Convert. Here's how Joe Convert is described: One of the better-known local Christian bloggers is Sean Herriott, host of a morning drive-time radio show on Relevant Radio, heard in the Twin Cities on WLOL, AM 1330. His blog, joeconvert.squarespace.com, generates more than 1,000 hits a week from around the world and chronicles his experiences as a convert to Catholicism. A thousand hits a week? Either the reporter who penned this article, Susan M. Barbieri, got her facts wrong or local religious blogs still have a ways to go as far as developing audiences. One thousands hits (not visits mind you) a week is nuthin'. Heck, I bet even our friends over at the New Patriot can pull in that kind of traffic. It appears that the focus of the piece was intended to be on local Christian bloggers, but the only one mentioned is Herriott. Musings of a Catholic Convert is written by Andy McNutt, who is a Catholic lay minister in Memphis who met Herriott through blogging. If you're going to set out to write a piece about Christian blogging, you might want to expand your horizons just a bit. I imagine that there are probably several quality local Christian bloggers that Barbieri could have interviewed, to say nothing of those on the national scene such as Joe Carter at the evangelical outpost, Mark D. Roberts, and letters from babylon among a host of others. Next time around Barbieri should try a little Googlin' or just follow a few links. There's a big ol' blogosphere out there with much in store if you're just willing to roll up your sleeves and explore a bit. Saturday, December 25, 2004
...is a new furnace. Balsawood has cooled down to a chilly 54 degrees this Christmas morn. Thank God for the fireplace...in addition, of course, to thanking Him for that whole business about giving the world His one and only Son.
Labels: Christmas
Luke 2:12-14
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." Labels: Christmas Friday, December 24, 2004
...is Hugh's new book. Wait, a complimentary copy just arrived in the mail today. Finally, I'll be able to understand what this whole blogging thing is really all about.
Labels: Books, Christmas, Ralphie
All I Want For Christmas...
...is to win the Christmas edition trivia competition at Keegan's. Wait, we did that last night, didn't we? Not even the formidable team put together by Captain Fishsticks (consisting of Mrs. Paul's, the Morton salt girl, and her boyfriend Sprout) could keep us from our appointment with destiny. The victories may be numerous, but each one is still so very, very sweet. Thursday, December 23, 2004
Earlier today, my uncle, Samuel Doughty died. He was an intelligent, thoughtful, easy-going, and kind man who will be greatly misssed. R.I.P.
Labels: Obit
Smackdown Iraqi Style
I'm not a big pro wrestling fan, but I gotta say that this is pretty cool. Vince McMahon was just on threatening a little smackdown of his own against the media for their negative portrayal of events in Iraq. This is probably not going to do boffo box office in the blue states.
All Hugh Wants For Christmas...
...is his Hasselhoff. Imagine Hugh's excitment when he finds this package under his tree Christmas morning. However, Hugh may want to consider resigning his position as Vice President of the David Hasselhoff Fan Club if this turns out to be true. Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Right from the Start
Further emphasizing the superior journalism lately appearing in the Pioneer Press, check out this poignant commentary on homelessness from yesterday (via the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette). Excerpt: Sick unto death, at the end of his rope, one of the poor in spirit. And he reminds us that no holiday - no holy day - is properly celebrated without remembering the poor, comforting the distraught, tending the sick and seeing, really seeing, the least of these. And for one blessed moment knowing what is important. Men are taught to lift their eyes, but they may forget to just look around. Show us a sign, we say, as if there were not signs everywhere. We seek The Star, and may not perceive the light of every day, or hear that lonesome whistle, and see our brother approaching. During lunch today I stopped off at the bank and for the first time ever in leafy, livable Maplewood, I was confronted with two nominally homeless guys with cardboard signs, begging for money on the highway off ramp. The above column was on my mind as I stopped there (seized by a red light, before I could get away). And I considered giving some money to these, the least of JC's brothers. (My sympathetic instincts were increased due to the fact that one of these fellows looked just like Westover. I thought it might have been Westover, perhaps subverting Coleman's next charge that he's too lazy to actually be homeless, so he can't write about them anymore. But, upon further review, the guy on the exit ramp must have weighed 50 more pounds than the wiry Afton scribe.) But ... my cold, analytical instincts remained as well. These were able bodied, middle-age men aggressively begging in the streets. Given this profile, the inevitable next thought was: 'I hope they don't damage my car or try to kill me.' And, to their enormous credit, they did neither. I then noticed they were dressed appropriately, even for today's sub-zero temperatures. Hats, gloves, thick jackets with hoods. And they were begging in a relatively nice section of Maplewood. There are no homeless people living on these second ring suburban streets - meaning these guys had the wherewithal to travel. My further speculation, knowing human nature as I do, is that these two were trying to capitalize on the pre-Christmas "good will towards men" vibe, on this, one of the last working days before the Christmas break. Stationing themselves near a bank, no less, assuring themselvs of an abundance of potential marks with freshly acquired wads of cabbage in their pockets. You have to admire their business savvy. If someone were teaching a course on how to successfully beg for money, these guys would be a good case study. They located near motivated, fully resourced "clients" and were now proceeding with a highly targeted sales pitch, one which many would feel vulnerable too (thanks to cooperative marketing provided by both the Pioneer Press and Star Tribune this week). These are not necessarily reasons to reject a contribution to them. But, choose to pass I did. While these two are not candidates to join the 21st Century Democrats anytime soon, I'm not at all certain they were the least of anyone's brothers. Their profile indicates they could be the kind of homeless person who freely chooses that lifestyle (to the detriment of all). Which, if not breaking a Commandment, certainly brushes up against a Deadly Sin or two. More importantly, I didn't want to create an incentive for the practice of begging for money on highway off ramps in Maplewood. People work in that neighborhood and have property values to worry about. Business have customer bases they wish to avoid alienating or frightening off. And, for the able-bodied homeless's own good, they probably should be devoting their early afternoon hours to more productive pursuits than standing in the freezing cold looking for hand outs. I give them money, they feel justified in their efforts, and worst case scenario, they come back another day. In short, not interested. So what's the moral to this story? I don't know. I read that beautiful editorial on taking care of my fellow human beings and I didn't change my behavior one whit. Maybe my behavior isn't so bad after all. I give to charities (most prominently the Catholic Church) which address the problems of suffering and need more effectively than street handouts to questionable characters. Maybe I do just fine by the least of our brothers. Maybe I'm a kind, some might say, overly generous soul. Maybe I am a living, breathing embodiment of God's grace, place here on Earth to set an example for all. Or maybe I need to read that editorial again. I think I missed something the first time.
Ever since JB's memorable encounter at the State Fair, readers have been asking us to explain just what a scotch egg is anyway. Now the truth can at last be told. (Thanks King)
Labels: State Fair
What Side Are You On?
In today's Pioneer Press, Craig Westover gets (perhaps) the final word on the Maxfield Elementary reporting scandal. (The Star Tribune wouldn't let Nick Coleman devote a FOURTH column to this subject would they? Maybe they would, if they're adhering to an "if at first you don't succeed" policy. The fourth time could be the charm!) It's good to see Westover stay on the high road, which is always the best way to refute the arguments of someone like Coleman (perhaps I should take my own advice sometime). Given the Pioneer Press's usual policy against directly engaging the rival newspaper in arguments, this column represents kind of a benchmark. Could this be the start of an old fashion newspaper feud? I hope so, it will be good for the readers. Both papers seem to want to avoid it and I'm not sure why. At least the Pioneer Press should welcome it. As the clear underdog, they need the publicity. And if they stay on the facts, using the professional level discourse we've seen lately, it's an argument they can't lose. And it will create a stark contrast for the news reading public over who is a better source for local information and commentary. Which of these would you rather invite into your home every morning? The Star Tribune: YOUR SCHOOLS ARE BURNING! Or the Pioneer Press: A reasonable person will immediately note that well-to-do people who send their children to private and religious schools and select schools by choosing where to live already have school choice. Who does not have a choice in education? Low-income kids in inner city schools - the very kids that for some unfathomable reason the education establishment insists must stay in schools that are fighting for "survival."
On Tap
Four things to look forward to in the not too distant future: 1. The 2004 Blogs of Distinction Awards. The 2003 BODAs rocked the socks off the blogosphere and the early nominees for 2004 promise more of the same. If you have a deserving candidate for consideration, drop an e-mail to the new Master of Ceremonies himself at rightwinger23@hotmail.com The best thing about the BODAs is that there are not any set categories of recognition. We make 'em up as we go and you should feel free to do the same. Please submit all entries by December 29th. 2. The next MOB (Minnesota Organization of Bloggers) party on January 22nd at Keegan's Irish Pub in Nordeast Minneapolis. Bloggers, readers of blogs, local media luminaries, and Scott Johnson groupies are all welcome to join the fun, which will kick off at 5pm. 3. The same rocket scientists who helped launch the Hindrocket into fame are working on an even more ambitious project for 2005. Operation Red Ryder is slated to send Ralphie into space in late February. We've managed to unite Ralphie's original creator (his Geppetto if you will) with the Vatsaas brothers to ensure that Astronaut Ralphie has the equipment, training, and vehicle to boldly go where no bobble head doll who looks like a nationally syndicated talk radio host has gone before. 4. Finally, the Starve the Beast campaign will kick into high gear in 2005, with particular attention brought to bear on the Minneapolis Star Tribune. All good conservatives in the Twin Cities should resolve to rid themselves of their Strib subscriptions in 2005.
Sinister Sophistication
Wretchard looks at the true face of the enemy who perpetrated yesterday's attack in Mosul: However, it is safe to say that the attack demonstrates asymmetrical warfare in action. The enemy chose the weakest point he could find to attack; exploited the known limitations of the American response; and understood that he was to all intents and purposes exempted from the condemnation attendant to attacking the wounded and medical personnel. The chaplain and the medical personnel knew this and did not mill around expecting the Geneva Convention to protect them from those who have never heard of it, except as it applies to their own convenience. They knew the true face of the enemy; a face which bore no resemblance to the heroic countenance often presented by the media to the world.
It's Their World
Dr. Monkeystein ends up on the wrong end of a game of cat and man. Anyone with a cat (or two) has felt his pain.
All They Want For Christmas...
...is a nuke or two. The frightening notion of the Iranian Moollahs (they're not booing sir, they're saying "moolah") having nuclear weapons increasingly seems to not be "if", but "when" and maybe more precisely "how soon?"
The Rest Of The Story...
Hugh Hewitt has posted this transcript of Lynne Cheney discussing blogs on last night's Hardball with guest host Campbell Brown. Hugh's transcript concludes thusly: Brown: You have got to have a favorite. Cheney: I have a lot of blogs that I read. Brown: What are they? Cheney: Oh I love Hugh Hewitt, I think he's terrific. I love Powerline. I read Instapundit, and, I don't know, does RealClearPolitics constitute a blog? I certainly looked at it a lot during the campaign. It was a wonderful source and remains a wonderful source of articles that are being written in many places. Now, not to take anything away from Hugh and the Powerline guys, but there was more to that interview than Hugh is admitting to. Mrs. Cheney went on to say: Cheney: One site I must check on daily, sometimes hourly, is Fraters Libertas. Have you ever heard of them Campbell? Brown: No. I can't say that I have. Cheney: Well, you really should give them a read. Powerful prose, incredible insight...they're a must read in my book. Except for the one that calls himself Atomizer. He kind of creeps me out. There you have it. Fraters Libertas...creeping out First Ladies since 1998. God knows it wasn't easy when Hillary had the job. Tuesday, December 21, 2004
A Toast to Yost
The Pioneer Press editorial page continues to impress with the contribution from the newest editorial board member, Mark Yost. Today he begins his series on the true causes of outsourcing in the US economy (hint, it's not John Kerry's Benedict Arnold CEOs). Using Todd Buchholz's book "Bringing the Jobs Home" as his platform, Yost outlines three causes of the problem. Today's column, entitled Outsourcing is Our Own Making, focuses on how the public education system fails us. Excerpt: Worse yet, the decline [in test scores] has come at a time when the global education landscape is more competitive than ever. Contributing to our demise, we've lost our focus on the basics. "Teachers and administrators turned from enhancing skills to enhancing self-esteem" Buchholz argues. "Now our kids have high self-esteem but low test scores. American schools have not made our kids dumb. They've made them delusional." (My interactions with the college age youth of today provides compelling anecdotal evidence to support this contention.) Of particular concern is our ability to produce enough math and science graduates to sustain our increasingly high tech dependent economy. According to Yost: Looking at America's increasingly underperforming public-school system, Buchholz notes that U.S. 12th-graders are behind Slovenians and barely ahead of South Africa and Cyprus in math and science. Chinese engineering students outnumber Americans three to one. The role of the teacher's union in this problem, and their protectionist policies toward credentialing teachers, is quite persuasively emphasized by Yost and Buchholz. And the golden ray of hope that is school choice once again appears as a part of the solution. Fascinating stuff, and, not to be redundant, but what a pleasure it is to have a part of the institutional voice of our local newspaper advocating, in a professional manner, for these sound, well reasoned positions. UPDATE: More from King Banaian, on the educational consequences of putting self-esteem before accomplishment.
Rank Journalism
From yesterday's Pioneer Press, sports columnist Bob Sansevere, on the Vikings' recent play: There's a reason the Vikings have one of the NFL's worst-ranked defenses. The reason is, it has a tendency to reek like underwear that hasn't been changed in three weeks. Ba-boom! Upon first reading that, I admit to laughing out loud. For all the wrong reasons. How much time did Sansevere spend crafting that simile? Ten seconds? Five seconds? No seconds? I fear it's only going to get worse. Remember, the Packers come to town on Friday. Bringing with them one Mr. Najeh Davenport. The nature of his criminal past and the nature of Sasevere's prose, it's the perfect storm of scatological references. Parents, keep the kids away from the Pioneer Press sports section on Satuday morning, it could get very ugly.
Up In Smoke
The latest update from our mole in the Minnesota state legislature, the Smoking SOB: The 2005 session begins January 4, and many House Republican (and DFL too, I bet) members are preparing legislative questionnaires to be sent to local constituents. One trend I see is that many, many members are asking the question, "Should smoking be banned from bars and restaurants?" Indeed, smoking will be a prominent topic next year. First, there is the DFL bill to ban smoking in public places. Then there is the Blue Cross/Blue Shield bill to up the butt tax by $1 a pack and use the proceeds to address health-related taxes (Republican Rep Fran Bradley of Rochester had a similar bill two sessions ago). Then there is Republican Rep. Marty Seifert's bill to withhold welfare benefits from smokers. I can't wait to see DFL health and welfare rights advocates dance around that amendment. Being a smoker, I love the attention. And unfortunately, I think you will see much of this legisation getting headway. I proudly lit a much higher priced Camel filter in 2003 , when proceeds from the Minnesota tobacco endowment were used to help fix the state budget deficit. I decided to smoke more and do my share during our budget difficulties. While smoking outside the State Office Building (SOB), I often nodded to lobbyists and representatives walking by, saying quietly, "You're welcome! Glad to lend a hand!" Sigh. Few ackowledged my sacrifice. I was still seen as a pariah. But I'm willing to pony up again. However, among members of the bipartisan SOB smoking subcaucus, there is pronounced anxiety that not only will a smoking ban be enacted and taxes upped, but legislation will contain a Phyllis Kahn amendment to prohibit smoking within 150 feet of any public facility. I've often seen Phyllis approach the SOB, wearing her speedos, leering at me and my cigarette. I've wondered, that as part of the state's tobacco lawsuit (which considered smokers victims of the tobacco companies' machinations), why I am not considered a victim under the federal Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA)? Shouldn't I receive accommodation (a nice smoking room, with a fireplace, bar) for my disability? Anti-smoking and related tax legislation will be fun to watch. A Merry Christmas to all! SmokingSOB Interesting legislative tidbit: If you call Rep. Dan Dorman's tire store in Albert Lea, the phone will likely be answered by Wanda, his mother. Be prepared to talk about the weather. A very nice woman. Monday, December 20, 2004
Where Does the Man End and the Legend Begin?
Further insightful commentary on the situation at Maxfield School is provided by Prof. King Banaian of SCSU Scholars. Excerpts: The debate over textbooks or reading materials misses a key point -- books themselves do not produce education. They must be complemented with other inputs. Textbooks must be complemented with teachers (and could well include parents working with kids at home, but down that road lies homeschooling, something I'm sure Coleman would not support.) Reading materials for students to take home require a parent to be sure the material is read. Here's the question then -- what is Coleman assuming in thinking a book drive for extra books for kids to take home will accomplish? If the parents do not supervise, if the child's social pressures are such that academics is denigrated (Bill Cosby, call your office!), and if teachers cannot find creative ways to use those books, they may simply collect dust. Again: Just handing a child a book to take home and read does not guarantee better reading scores. A book requires a structure within which it is read, understood and discussed to help with comprehension, and along with it the development of a culture of learning. Otherwise it's no more effective than free condoms. An endorsement of the Scott Johnson "your homes are burning" thesis. To which we can now add the King Banaian, "your condoms are burning" corollary (which illustrates why King is known as the penicillin of the Northern Alliance). King also had this keen insight to offer about the NARN show last Saturday: I thought Brian "Saint Paul" Ward of Fraters had said something profound in ... "In" what really doesn't matter. When the chairman of an economics department at a major state university calls you profound, you accept it as just that. He is tenured, after all. Another noted academic (South American comparative politics), Margaret Martin of Our House, had this observation from a recent Keegan's outing: Last night was the weekly Trivia at Keegan's ... and we finished a miserable 13/25. But Team Fraters, with St. Paul and occasional blogger Nihilist in Golf Pants did the best of the evening, paired as they were with the Swedish Bikini team. (I don't know the score with that team combination.) David did his best to run Brian down to the bevy of blondes as we were leaving but David was rebuffed. We now know that Brian needs no one's help to find dates. I wouldn't go that far Margaret, one can always use a good reference, especially when it comes to Swedish bikini models. My rule for them is identical to the rule in Irish Catholic families. There's always room for one more.
Power Line, Blowing Up
Blog Acceptance Week in the MSM continues with a visual I thought I'd never see: a super tight close up of Scott Johnson appearing on the front page of the Star Tribune Web site. Check it out quick, before they change it. For those unsure of which picture is Scott's, it's the one right beneath the article entitled, "Zamboni Explodes; fire destroys Duluth arena." (I don't see Power Line covering that story. I guess the Star Tribune does still have a role to play in our society.)
Art Vs. Commerce
Recommended reading for the day, the Robbie Fulks series of essays, entitled "The Worst Gig I Ever Had." Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 It's the story of what happens when one of the finest country songwriters/players in the nation agrees to be a part of the back up band for a Garth Brooks impersonator, for one night only. And it all happened right here in Minneapolis, at the NARN home away from home, the Minneapolis Hilton. To put it another way, it's the story of a clash of motivations. When commerce (as evidenced by Fulks's comments): People who fill non-musical roles in the music business routinely speak of their "passion" for the fine arts - musicians talk only about money. Meets passion (as exemplified by the Garth impersonator's motivations): "Fellows," said the entertainer, getting right down to business. Besides his fat cheeks and thin hair, his lack of physical resemblance to Garth Brooks was perfect. "I appreciate your learning my set. I know it's a lot of material. And I know that each of us is here with a common goal, putting on a great show, and paying tribute to Garth's work." "Garth," said "Garth," turning thoughtful, "is an incredible force. It's beyond anything like simple musicianship. That's why his music has touched so many hearts. He's got loads of talent, no doubt about that, but his real gift is that rare ability to connect with people. That's what I emphasize in my show. That's the whole bottom line, right there, that connection to people's hearts." We nodded mutely. "Now," he continued, narrowing his eyes, "you guys did bring outfits, right?" I encourage you to read the whole thing, it's hilarious. There's a lot of inside technical references about charts and pick ups and such, so musicians will appreciate it most. But Fulks is such a skillful writer, it works for a general audience (like me) as well. (Acknowledgment to JB Doubtless, for hipping me to this article series and for recommending the music of Robbie Fulks years ago.)
Opening The Drawbridge
Jay Rosen writes about a newspaper that plans to bring bloggers into the fold rather than viewing them as barbarians outside the gates. Sunday, December 19, 2004
Wham, Bam, Gracias Ma'am
Got back on Thursday from a whirlwind trip to Chihuahua. After grabbing all of three hours of sleep the night before, I departed for Houston on Monday morning at 5:45am along with a couple of coworkers. We set down in Houston around 8:30am, and by 10am we were in a conference room at one of our sister divisions enjoying a scintillating conversation on inventory turnover. The remainder of the day was spent discussing related matters and taking a tour of the facility. At 6pm we split for the airport, where we caught a flight to Chihuahua at 9pm. The separation of church and state isn't quite the burning issue in Mexico as it is in the United States, as evidenced by the giant cross of lights that covers a good portion of one of the more prominent hillsides surrounding Chihuahua. On a clear, dark night it made for spectacular sight from the air, and let visitors know that in Chihuahua, wishing a "Merry Christmas" would not result in a trip to diversity reeducation office. By the time I checked into the hotel, it was 11:30pm (Mountain time) and I was well past being tired. I had reached that almost Zen-like state of exhaustion where nothing really matter anymore. It can be liberating, but it's also dangerous as your common sense survival instincts pretty much shut down. If there had been a fire in the hotel, I might have just elected to stay in my room and not hassle with the whole emergency evacuation thing. Knowing what the next day held in store (corporate board meetings of interminable length), a sane man would have turned in immediately. I turned on the television and began exploring the eighty-plus channels (at least a third of which are in English) available for my viewing pleasure. After scouring up and down the dial a couple of times, I settled on 2002's feel good hit of the year: Auto Focus. The flick is a nihilistic nightmare that catalogs the swingin' sex life and pornographic passions that sent actor Bob Crane's career and life careening out of control. And like watching pornography itself, the movie leaves you feeling empty, emotionally spent, and dirty. At least that's what JB Doubtless tells me. The desire, need really to take a shower after this sordid little tale of debauchery was overwhelming. Not one for the kiddies or those with delicate sensibilities (take heed Atomizer). I closed the night by reading a few more pages of Jacob Slichter's book So You Wanna Be a Rock & Roll Star: How I Machine-Gunned a Roomful of Record Executives and Other True Tales from a Drummer's Life. Jake is the drummer from Minneapolis band Semisonic, and this book provides a fascinating behind the scenes view of the band's rise to the almost top. For long time Semisonic fans like myself, it helps explain why the band was never quite able to seize upon the success of 1998's smash hit "Closing Time" to establish a more permanent presence in the world of pop music. This isn't another "tell all" expose of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Rather, it's a look at the nuts and bolts of the recording industry. Record deals, radio airplay, album sales, touring, and music videos are all explored from the view of someone who lived through it all. What's refreshing about Slichter is that he's not one of these artists who bemoans the commercialization of his craft at the hands of the "man." He wanted to make it big, to have #1 records and to enjoy all the trappings of fame that accompany it. For Semisonic fans, it's a must have. But I would also recommend it to anyone with an interest in pop music, particularly the business end of it. Here's one of my favorite excerpts when the band is hunting for a producer and talks with a young candidate with some new ideas: "I've been listening to your tape, and I'm got some suggestions for lyric changes." Dan [Wilson] took a sip of Scotch. "What changes do you have in mind?" "Well that line 'Fascinating new thing, you delight me'--I don't like the world delight. It sounds kind of...twee. What about saying 'You're stunning' or something like that?" Had we been characters in a James Bond film, Dan would have set down his glass and pressed the button that opened the floor and dropped the young producer into a pool of hungry piranhas. With no buttons at his disposal, Dan affected a smile. "Stunning? Well, let me think about that." John [Munson] and I forced smiles, too. No fucking way. Tuesday was another long day. As I mentioned earlier, I spent most of it attending a multi-divisional board meeting. I was not required to present anything myself, so I secured a spot in the back of the room and spent most of the day working on a presentation of my own due for a Friday meeting. Not only did I not have to stand and deliver, but the vast majority of topics that were discussed did not concern or interest me in the least. My name was brought up on a couple of occasions when the president of our division mentioned, "Yes, Chad's on that team" or "that's what Chad's been working on for us." Upon hearing my name, I perked up like a loyal dog, and, as the attention of the group momentarily shifted to the back of the room, I nodded vigorously to indicate, "Yup, I'm on that team" and "Yup, that's what I do." That was about the extent of my contribution. But I just had to be there. And I was until damn near 7pm. Thankfully I managed to avoid the uncomfortable experience of dining with the gathered corporate elite. I was able to bail since I already had made dinner plans with a long time acquaintance who lives in Chihuahua. It's not that the crew attending the board meeting are bad folks. Most of them are in fact quite nice. But they tend to be rather focused on one particular aspect of life: work. I enjoy talking shop as much as the next guy, and am not entirely averse to doing it after hours. But I find that I have a hard time relating to people who are so passionate about the intricacies of wage structure that they can debate it for hours on end. That's just not my bag baby. On Wednesday, I was able to take care of some business at the plant and squeeze in a trip out to the Misercordia Orphanage (more on that in an upcoming post). Thursday morning I flew out of Chihuahua at 6:30am and was home sweet home in Minneapolis by mid-afternoon. It was a short, but exhausting trip. I'm looking forward to a long spell at home.
As alluded to in the post below, Power Line has been selected as Time magazine's inaugural Blog of the Year. (Is this now an annual award? I can't tell. I guess I'll have to buy a copy of Time to find out.) Our hearty congratulations go out to all three Power Line contributors: John Hinderaker, Scott Johnson and Paul Mirengoff. They really deserve it for their efforts this year.
It can be fairly said that they played an important role in re-electing the President. After all, Bush's margin of victory was a mere 2.9%. According to George Will in his column today, that's the smallest margin ever for a president's re-election. What portion of that was salvaged by Power Line's instigating the eventually ubiquitous skepticism over CBS News's use of forged documents to impugn President Bush's record? Not to mention Power Line's efforts (along with Captain Ed) in publicizing the spurious John Kerry "Christmas in Cambodia" allegations. Not to mention the hearts and minds Power Line wins daily with their blend of intelligent, witty commentary and linkage. They've helped redefine what media is for the new century and history will remember what they've done here (something that cannot be said for any current employees of the Star Tribune). Beyond that, they're great guys. Via the Northern Alliance Radio Network we at FL have gotten to know Scott and John and their families, and it's been a true pleasure being associated with them. If you haven't had a chance to hear them yourselves, you can get a sample of their brand of commentary on the NARN replay, locally starting at 9 PM tonight at AM 1280, the Patriot. (And as always, worldwide, recycling continuously on the Web stream). Congratulations again to Power Line and heart felt thanks for their ever so slightly altering the course of history, in the Right direction. Labels: Blogs-Local
The long awaited justification from Nick Coleman on his Maxfield Elementary reporting appears in today's Star Tribune. It looks like we know his style so well that we can now anticipate his actions with a high degree of accuracy, or perhaps he's taking style tips and inspiration directly from us, because he did fulfill two of the predictions we listed last week.
On Dec 13, we predicted he would: Attempt to distract from the real issue via ad hominem attacks on bloggers (a status to which he'll assign Pioneer Press writer Westover). In Nick's mind the word "blogger" alone is enough to discredit any criticism he received, so he'll bleed it for all it's worth. Excerpts (noncontiguous) from today's Coleman, regarding Craig Westover: Unless, of course, you happen to be an ideological enemy of public education, like the full-time blogger and semi-pro newspaper columnist from the mean avenues of Afton who took the Maxfield story and twisted it into a rant against public schools. After distorting the Maxfield story, Captain Fishsticks [Westover] was reproved in print by Maxfield Principal Zelma Wiley. Since then, Fishsticks has gone back to his boat and confined his tirades to the first refuge of scoundrels, his personal Internet blog, where he is toasted by other rum-swigging hearties daily. An uncanny manifestation of our prediction, wouldn't you say? By the way, the "other rum-swigging hearties" includes us, as well as the other local bloggers drawn to the Maxfield issue. A not all together disagreeable description, I must say. We do occasionally enjoy strong drink (though not usually rum, we stay away from anything prone to having an umbrella in it). And "hearty" means "jovial" and we are typically merry souls, especially when strong drink is involved. Back to the predictions, last week we said Coleman would engage in: Clintonian parsing of language. He'll try to make us believe there is a difference between "textbooks" and "books in classrooms." Any readers who made the mistake of confusing the two will be blamed for their own ineptitude. Then he'll question the secret, evil motivations behind anyone who could possibly make the mistake of misreading a Nick Coleman column. Coleman, in his charming way, did just that: Deliberate idiocy is a terrible thing. When I wrote about a book shortage at Maxfield Elementary School in St. Paul Nov. 14, I made it clear that the books that were in short supply were reading books -- books needed to boost the literacy levels of kids who attend the school. Sadly, "literacy" turns out to be a hard word for public school bashers to understand. Literacy means an ability to read and comprehend. But the professional bashers of public school education seem to have poor reading comprehension. Either that, or they are mean as snakes. I'm leaning toward snakes. Fans of strict verification can review Coleman's columns from Nov. 14 and Dec. 5 to see if there is any distinction made in types of books or a specific mention of "reading books." (Trusting souls and the lazy/casually disinterested can take my word for it, there isn't). And even if there were such references (and there aint!), the distinction is meaningless. What other kinds of books are there in schools, besides "reading books"? Did Coleman think we were referring to "bunion massaging books" or "books used to serve lunch on"? Coleman uses the word "books" throughout, without any qualification. For example: How could this happen? A school with not enough books? "I don't want to go on the record with what I really think," Wiley said. "But I've never seen anything like this before. We haven't been adequately furnished. We don't have enough books." Often times he uses it in conjunction with "classrooms," like: In order to teach kids to read, it helps if you have books. But when Zelma Wiley walked into Maxfield Magnet School in St. Paul and took over as principal a couple of years ago, there were hardly any books on the shelves of the school's 21 classrooms and not nearly enough books -- or the right mix of reading levels and subject matters -- in the school's library. And: Former Education Czarina Yecke was canned by the Legislature but never seemed overly concerned about the special problems at a place like Maxfield. Then again, few have shown any interest. How else to explain that Maxfield doesn't have enough books? "I was amazed," said Sarah Carlsson. "And a lot of the books we did have were the wrong level, like first-grade books in a fifth-grade class." Carlsson is a "literacy coach" at Maxfield, but was previously a classroom teacher who was unaware that the other classrooms were as sparsely furnished with books as her own. Coleman's claim he made anything "clear" about textbooks versus "reading books." or anything else, is absurd. In reality, the critical distinction of the types of books Maxfield was interested in acquiring never appeared in either Coleman column. The whole truth only appeared in the Zelma Wiley Pioneer Press commentary, where she explains: Earlier this year, our school launched a drive to collect books for students to borrow, take home or keep. Our students love to read. Unfortunately, many don't have access to books at home (95 percent qualify for free or reduced-price lunch). Our goal was to satiate our students' hunger for books at home and supplement the great work being done by teachers and community partners in our classrooms. It is an extracurricular book drive, to serve needs above and beyond classroom instruction. A far different situation than anything Coleman divulged in his reporting. Recall, he used the alleged book shortage at Maxfield as an example of why "YOUR SCHOOLS ARE BURNING." Based on the fact the principal of that school states that the book drive is for students who don't have books at home, Scott Johnson opined (on NARN yesterday) "it sounds to me like their homes are burning." (With quips like that, it's no wonder Power Line is Time Magazine's Blog of the Year.") Amid all of the panic and bombast from Coleman, let's not lose sight of the real issue of this debate - finding the best way to provide public education. That is, the best way to utilize resources to educate the children of our community, not the best way to sustain the current system. Craig Westover has been dedicated to the premise that the best way to educate is by providing a choice to the parents. If the government schools aren't performing to parents' standards, they should be empowered to seek other options. And because of this, Nick Coleman labels Westover a "deliberate idiot," a "professional school basher" and a "snake" (not to mention "Captain Fishsticks" - which, to be truthful, is pretty funny). For substantive, professional debate on this issue, keep an eye on Westover's blog. And on the Pioneer Press. Remember, that is where Principal Wiley chose to directly address her school's situation, not in the Star Tribune. And beyond Westover's once a week contribution to the Pioneer Press editorial page (which hopefully will increase in frequency), there are others, like today's excellent commentary on education reform by Steve Dornfeld of the Metropolitan Council. Right now, school choice is but a dream in St. Paul. One worth fighting for, of course. But if you'd like to help conditions here and now, we encouage you to make a donation to Maxfield. Who knows, one of these kids may grow up some day to write a column in the Star Tribune. As Nick Coleman shows us, deliberate idiocy is a terrible thing. Let's nip this one in the bud right now. Labels: Media-Local (02-04) Friday, December 17, 2004
'Sup Doc?
Despite the Master of the Hoarse's(thanks Les) claim that there is nothing to do in the Twin Cities, my parents, my wife and I enjoyed a wonderful evening at Orchestra Hall in Minneapolis taking in Doc's Holidays, which featured a variety of Christmas tunes performed by the Minnesota Orchestra, the Minnesota Chorale, and the Twin Cities Bronze hand bell ensemble. All conducted by the legendary showman Doc Severinsen. As my mother pointed out, there was a lot of talent assembled on the stage. It was an entertaining and inspiring affair that set just the right tone heading into the final weekend before Christmas. I mean it wasn't exactly Mary Poppins, but then what is? Mary friggin' Poppins. I really don't have to worry about making fun of Hugh anymore. He's doing just fine on that front all by himself.
Saint Paul has mentioned in the past that he has suffered from "Coleman Fatigue" at various times. The condition is a product of repetitive reading and writing about Nick Coleman's columns in the Minneapolis Star Tribune. The latest outbreak of CF must be contagious as it appears that I am suffering from the same malady. In fact, I believe that CF is not merely a minor irritation, but rather a full blown medical disorder. From now on, I propose that it be referred to as "Coleman Affective Disorder" or CAD. Symptoms of CAD include:
-A heavy feeling in the arms or legs -A drop in energy level -Fatigue -A tendency to oversleep -Difficulty concentrating -Irritability -Increased sensitivity to social rejection -Avoidance of social situations Hopefully, CAD will soon be cataloged in the DSM-IV so that it may be properly diagnosed and treated. The only method that has proven successful in treating CAD is for the patient to completely avoid all things Nick Coleman. Even a drop of Coleman's condescending attitude is enough to propel CAD sufferers into a relapse. Cold turkey is the only way. Withdrawal symptoms include a renewed sense of optimism, improved self-esteem, the ability to feel joy, and a general feeling of happiness. For those who just can't seem to stay away from the Coleman sauce, here's the latest bitter brew, where Coleman sees fit to lecture his "fellow Christians" about their attitude toward the homeless. Most Christians who are serious about their religious beliefs won't play the speculative game of "what would Jesus do in today's world?" (for example, would Jesus support gay marriage?) , realizing that it's almost impossible to authoritatively determine how Jesus would act, and to presume to be able to is the height of arrogance. But apparently, Coleman's knowledge of "stuff" extends to understanding the mysteries of the Lord: I guess the point these compassionate Christians are trying to make is that Jesus wouldn't give the homeless a second glance if he came back. And you know what? They might be right. Jesus might walk right past the homeless, the poor and the sick, and march straight into our churches. Because he'd have a lot of tables to overturn. I guess it's time to add Coleman's name to the list of important Catholic theologians like St. Ambrose, St. Gregory of Nyssa, St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas, and Karl Rahner. Heck, why don't we just cut to the chase and canonize him St. Nick? The secular left loves to jump all over Christian conservatives who claim that they know how God would feel about a particular issue. I can't wait for them to go after Coleman for doing exactly that. I'm not holding my breathe. Labels: Media-Local (02-04) Thursday, December 16, 2004
Let's Win One For The New Year
It's that time of year again, folks. Yes, it is time again to sound the global warming klaxons and commence with the wailing and the gnashing (not to mention the kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the pain in my glayven...mwa-hai!). The World Meteorological Organization (one of those always infallible U.N. agencies) just released a report that placed 2004 as the fourth hottest year on record and all of the usual groups are making all of the usual dire predictions. Personally, I think we can all do better. I remember the glory years of 1995 and 1997, both considered to be the hottest years of their time. And who can forget 1998. Good old '98 still holds the all time hottest year title to this day. 2000 was close for a while, but failed miserably down the stretch. Then there were those bittersweet back to back years of 2001 and 2002 which both came just a hair short of reaching the grand prize. Sure there were some lousy years in there like 1999 finishing fifth overall and 1996 finishing a disappointing "normal" but with just enough heart to place seventh in the hotly contested wettest-year competition. I was a little disappointed with 2003's third place performance too but I figured that after a full four years of President Bush's personal jihad against Mother Earth, 2004 would come storming back with a vengeance...but fourth place?!?!? Come on people! Let's get our heads in the game! Let's all start by driving alone...everywhere. This carpooling and public transit nonsense ain't going to jack up those temperatures. We need cars on the road, and fast...the bigger the better, too. All of that air out there isn't going to pollute itself! And let's not forget about that ozone hole either, folks. Get out those aerosol spray cans and start gettin' jiggy with it. I know it's going to be difficult, but with a little hard work and dedication from each and every one of you out there, we can all help make 2005 be the best year ever...or at least since 1861. Nothing much happened before then.
All Hugh Wants For Christmas...
...is twenty-four hours of Ralphie (check the schedule for Christmas Eve & Christmas Day). Bless you TBS.
Any World That I'm Welcome To
When I attended the University of Minnesota in the early nineties I worked with an unusual individual I have referred to in the past as the Racially Ambiguous Hippie. He was a free-spirited, drug-taking, haiku-writing misfit, but a very funny, smart and nice guy. One January night after our shift of supervising hourly employees, he asked me if I wanted to go to a homeless person's house. Knowing that he liked to play pranks on shorthaired Republican-types like myself and Saint Paul, (who also worked there) I was somewhat hesitant, but he insured me it would be an interesting trip so I agreed. It was probably ten below when we walked through Dinkytown and down a trail to the railroad tracks that run directly under the area. The snow was deep, but there were well-worn trails that ran parallel to the tracks for about a quarter of a mile. The trail went right and about 50 feet from the tracks in a clump of small trees was the "house" we had set out for. It was made of railroad timbers and covered with a tarp, which was then covered with snow for concealment. "Kieran!" the RAH called out and a small plywood door swung open on the side of the house. Appearing before us was a man, probably about 50 years old with long red hair and a beard, dressed in a snowmobile suit. His face showed that he had lived a hard life and judging by the looks of him had been on the streets for probably ten of those. He embraced the RAH with a soul brother hug and I was introduced. "Did you guys bring anything?" was the first thing he asked. I sheepishly handed him a can of spaghettios I had brought along, but I think he was more interested in what the RAH had on him, which turned out to be nothing. He invited us in and I was amazed at the cozy dwelling the guy had created for himself. He had a radio, a lightbulb, a small heater, a hot plate (all powered by a marine radio) and pets. There was a large dog in the corner and a hamster or gerbil in a small aquarium (!). He also had 2 cases of Milwaukee's Best and immediately offered us one. Although I was freezing, I accepted and we began to talk. He told the story of how he bailed on society years ago because he "Couldn't handle" normal life with a wife and kids and instead turned to a life of begging and alcoholism. "Do you want a house?" I asked. "Hell no!" he said and explained how he preferred life on the streets and how he had established himself as a regular in Dinkytown and people took pretty good care of him in the way of canned food and spare change. Chain smoking generic cigarettes and downing an alarming number of beers in 3-4 swigs, he was very clear that he preferred the life he had literally carved out of this part of the world even with the attendant dangers. So what's the point of this little vignette, this anecdotal story? I guess there isn't one, other than to point out that it is obvious that some homeless PREFER to be on the street. Not all, but some and perhaps most would rather take their chances doing what they want to do (drink) than live in a shelter that would force them to clean up and face reality.
Yesterday I felt the amateur blogger's responsibility to recognize a not all together awful Nick Coleman column. But many readers felt I was a little to easy on Coleman and they make a persuasive case. Here's the feedback, all of it regarding Coleman's closing line about Jesus, Mary, and Joseph:
From David V: You ARE being a little too charitable on Nick. You missed the use of a common liberal untruth that always pops up this time of year. Nick wrote: "After all, once upon a time, a homeless couple came to Bethlehem, looking for shelter." That's incorrect. Mary and Joseph were not "homeless". They were traveling FROM their home to Bethlehem to enroll for the census and couldn't find a hotel room. That's not exactly "homeless", is it? Here's an excellent deconstruction of the "Mary & Joseph were homeless" myth. Enjoy and keep up the great work. That link does present a fascinating history of the Homeless Jesus myth. From the mind of Jesse Jackson to Nick Coleman's column, in only five short years. Peter B. also chimes in with some revisions of Coleman's revisionist history: I can't believe you didn't take the opportunity to nail Nick Coleman to the wall for the ridiculous closing line of his article. Mary and Joseph were not a homeless couple who came to Bethlehem. They had a perfectly fine home (or two -- they were unmarried) in Nazareth and enough combined wealth to afford a pack/transport animal. They were VISITING Bethlehem (by command of the government, which was planning to raise their taxes). I have no home in St. Paul so -- according to Nick's slant -- when I drive in from the suburbs to see a show, I guess I am just another of the teeming mass of St. Paul's homeless population. According to Nick's rules, that may be true. Warning Peter - if you do come to St. Paul, stay out of the White Castle on Lexington, or you may find yourself the subject of a Nick Coleman column. Finally, the Honorable James Phillips bringing these glad tidings: Curse him! They were not homeless! They were reporting for a census and there was no room at the inn. Why do these a-hole democrats (Gore, Hillary!, and now this loser) insist on propagating this bald-faced lie. It was "big government" that forced Joseph and Mary to go there in the first place. If they were homeless (they were not), THE GOVERNMENT MADE THEM SO! Excellent points James. For more on Hillary and homeless policy in New York City, check out this WSJ article from 1999. Labels: Media-Local (02-04) Wednesday, December 15, 2004
The Citizens Are Doing It For Themselves
Later this afternoon, I'm going to take a break from my usual hobby of "kicking poor kids when they're down" (for a good larf, I especially enjoy slipping into my steel toed boots, scattering loose change on the streets of inner city neighborhoods, and then punting the little urchins in the backside when they bend over to pick up the coins), and do something to help some REALLY poor kids at the Misericordia Orphanage. Rather than writing up a pathos filled sob story and hectoring our fellow citizens on the need for the government to take more of their money, we're actually going to take concrete actions to help those in need. A radical concept further elaborated on by Craig Westover earlier today.
Full Disclosure
When St. Paul Mayor (and Democrat) Randy Kelly endorsed George W. Bush for president this year, much speculation was given on the effect this would have on his ability to win another election in the DFL-dominated city. Some of the likeliest challengers, and most dangerous to Kelly's prospects, have dropped out already. But the Pioneer Press announces today one of the biggest names in St. Paul is throwing his hat into the ring: Former St. Paul City Council Member Chris Coleman filed paperwork to run for St. Paul mayor on Tuesday and listed some marquee names among his early supporters. Former Mayor George Latimer and former Police Chief William Finney were listed as co-chairs on the filing, which officially establishes a campaign committee for Coleman, who left office earlier this year after serving six years as the 2nd Ward council member. Finney was himself considered a front-runner to take on the expected re-election effort by Mayor Randy Kelly but bowed out in November. Latimer was mayor from 1976 until 1990 and is considered the city's elder statesman. The two of them arguably are second only to the mayor in terms of political prominence in the city, possibly eclipsing even Coleman himself, who is the son of the late Senate Majority Leader Nick Coleman Sr. Marquee names, indeed. The endorsements by Finney and Latimer, two beloved characters around St. Paul, will help Chris Coleman's prospects immensely. But the Pioneer Press fails to mention (irresponsibly so) two other marquee names who will be ardently supporting Chris Coleman's candidacy. Two with influence potentially far beyond what even Finney and Latimer wield. In case you weren't aware, Chris Coleman's brother is none other than Nick Coleman of the Star Tribune. And Chris Coleman's sister-in-law is Laura Billings of the Pioneer Press. A political candidate's close family relations, ensconced in highly prominent positions at each arm of the local newspaper monopoly. I dare say no candidate in Twin Cities history has had such a clear nepotistic advantage in media coverage. Hopefully, the conflict of interest warning signs are blaring in the newsrooms of both papers. The St. Paul mayoral race will be one of the biggest stories in Minnesota next year. It's an off-year election, so no statewide or federal races will be decided, giving this race more exposure. Randy Kelly's cross-party support of the Bush administration adds even more drama, and thus more interest, for the readership of both papers. And I find it hard to believe that Coleman and Billings would both ignore it. But responsible newspaper management would have to insist on it. Even if they're not overtly campaigning for their brother(in-law), the attacking of Kelly would serve the same purpose. I hope the editors of both papers take a good hard look at their columns for the next 11 months, to remove any signs of their trying to unfairly influence the St. Paul election. Anything less would be unethical and unfair to democracy (slight exaggeration). Even without Billings' and Nick Coleman's overt support from the pulpit of their columns, Chris Coleman will probably win next year. If so, the conflict of interest complications will only continue for the Newspaper Newlyweds. Meaning, continued restrictions on their work would be in order. Silencing Coleman/Billings from discussing St. Paul issues for another 4 years? Heck, I may vote for Chris Coleman.
I'm not sure if Nick Coleman needs even more time to research his clarifications on the Maxfield Elementary story or if he simply read Jim Styczinski's masterpiece yesterday and figured it's already been done. But today he ignores that topic entirely to address another, homelessness in Minneapolis.
I must admit that the tone of Coleman's column is rather understated, by his standards. His ending line pushes it a little bit: After all, once upon a time, a homeless couple came to Bethlehem, looking for shelter. But gratuitous exploitation is no where to be found. No angry lashing out at tax payers or scapegoating based on class or racial distinctions. His column is a reminder that there are those who are suffering on our streets this Christmas season, a valid message for any Christian soul. And a nice change of pace from what we've seen of late from Coleman. If our scrutiny and constructive criticism of him had something to do with that, well, I'm glad. Thanks to the alternative media, now everybody wins. Coleman writes better columns, the readers feel compassion towards his subject matter, and maybe some good results. Even more good would result if more people read and acted on Craig Westover's presciptions. Today, he also comments on Coleman's column, taking it the next step, by focusing on a potential solution to homelessness in our society. Excerpt: The solution to the homeless "crisis" doesn't lie in more government, but less. The solution lies in returning to civil society the responsibility for taking care of its own. That cannot happen as long as government reinforces the attitude of "let government take care of it." It cannot happen when government actions destroy a community's ability to act compassionately. It cannot happen as long as we believe that more taxes equals more compassion. UPDATE: Power Line doesn't feel quite so charitable toward Coleman's homelessness analysis. Excerpts: This month Star Tribune staff columnist Nick Coleman deserves recognition for working hardest to preserve the Star Tribune's reputation as a laughingstock. Coleman hangs this lazy column on the spirit of the season, but the spirit of this column is entirely that of the liberal shame culture. At 425 Portland Avenue the two are conveniently confused. Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Expanding The Franchise
I've been sitting through a board meeting here in Chihuahua for most of the day and boy am I bor...Whew, caught myself just in time. Sorry, but it's been a long day and the creative juices are in a molasses like state. Check out a Fraters approved separated at birth from the Girl in Right. Remember, always look for the Fraters seal of approval.
Eyes on the Prize
In his latest blog post, the Pioneer Press's Craig Westover appropriately, and very persuasively, reminds us of the real question surrounding the debate on Maxfield Elementary and Nick Coleman's reporting: what is the best way to provide public education? For those tired of Coleman-level analysis and histrionics, it's a welcome respite of logic and reasoned argument. And it reminds us of what a pleasure it is to have a choice in editorial commentary in the Twin Cities. There was a time not too long ago when the local media debate on education was limited to what Nick Coleman had to say versus what his wife, Laura Billings of the Pioneer Press, had to say. From their pillow talk to your living room, six times a week. Once again, thanks to the Pioneer Press for hiring Westover. Because if he wasn't there to push the debate from the rival editorial page, Nick Coleman would have escaped with his Maxfield distortions going unchallenged. It makes you wonder how many other times in the past 20 years he's gotten away with this. Only Laura Billings knows for sure. And she ain't talking about it. S he has more important things to write about. Like complaining about people who don't give enough thought when they pick out her Christmas gifts: But what I dread about the season, a little more every year, is the giving and receiving of gifts, the mass exchange of currency and last-minute purchases that no one wants or needs. People who pride themselves on their gift-giving acumen believe their offerings are the exception to this fact, but chances are they're just fooling themselves. Yowza, that message is clear as a bell. Nick needs to spend a little less time haunting the halls of Maxfield Elementary and the White Castle on Lexington and little more time at the posh boutiques along Grand Avenue. That will make sure his wife, and all Pioneer Press readers who can be spared her domestic complaints, have a happy New Year.
Jim Styczinski, arguably the finest Nick Coleman impressionist in town, submits the following column. It's a prediction of what you might see tomorrow, or whenever Nick decides to address the irregularities surrounding his Maxfield Elementary reporting. Take it away Jim:
The 0.7 mile walk from St. Paul's Maxfield School to the White Castle on the corner of Lexington and University was especially cold this December morning. But it wasn't the North wind that was chilling me to the bone, it was something much colder: the heart of Pioneer Press columnist and blogger Craig "I Hate Poor Kids and I Wear Funny Hats" Westover. "That Westover just doesn't understand what it takes to educate kids today," said my lunch companion Frank, a homeless former Junior High School administrator. His partner Bob nodded in agreement. I first met Bob and Frank last March when I talked with them on the difficulties of being a gay homeless couple in a society that didn't allow gay marriage. Today, I sought out Frank to tap his educational expertise. "When I read your column on the book shortage at Maxfield, I said to myself, 'finally someone gets it.' But then I saw how that Westover tried to twist it around and make it the school's fault. Those unaccountable conservatives love to blame the victim." Frank is something of an expert on cold-hearted conservatives. He and Bob became homeless when Republican education cuts cost him his job as an Assistant Principal for Diversity Enforcement. After reading my column, Frank did something that Craig "Help I'm Chained to My Desk and Can't Go Visit Maxfield School" Westover didn't deem necessary: he went to Maxfield School to investigate the situation first hand. "I went into the office and asked to see their Assistant Principal for Diversity Enforcement - they didn't have one," Frank cried. "Is it any wonder that they didn't have enough classroom [not text] books? How can books be purchased when there is no Assistant Principal for Diversity Enforcement to vet them for dangerously undiverse ideas?" How indeed. "I'm sure I don't need to remind you who cut the Diversity Enforcement budget." Frank is referring to Republican Governor Tim "I Hate Poor Kids and Public Education" Pawlenty. The sad thing is that it wasn't always this way; there was once a time when Republican Governors supported public education. When I interviewed former Governor Elmer Andersen moments before his death last month, he expressed his disgust with the extremists who have taken over his once tolerant party. "They hate everything, especially schools and taxes," said the former Republican Governor. "I blame those bloggers, especially those Power Line guys. They're all bought and paid for by the Private School Industrial Complex." Frank, Bob, and I stepped out the door of Maxfield School. At this time of day, we would normally be hearing the Church Bells from the St. Paul Cathedral, 1.7 miles away. But the bells are still being repaired. We decide to take this as a positive omen. The bell has not tolled for Public Education in Minnesota. Not yet. Brilliant work by Jim. Fans of Styczinski will be glad to hear Jim has recently acquired kiosk space at the Mall of America, right next to the goofy caricature guy in front of Camp Snoopy. For a mere $35, Jim will write your own personal Nick Coleman column, customized with your favorite topics and fields of interest. Although, it will help immensely if your favorite topics are exploiting the homeless, gratuitously enflaming racial controversies, and factually misrepresenting the position of conservatives. Last minute Christmas shoppers remember, it's the perfect stocking stuffer for the Star Tribune reader in your home. UPDATE: Bill at The Kool Aid Report has another Coleman scenario in mind. In summary, we can't handle his truth. Labels: Media-Local (02-04) Monday, December 13, 2004
Power Line received an email from a reader reporting on the latest antics going on at Radio Air America this morning. Here it is, with a portion of the PL response:
"I am listening to that commercial free, 100 watt blowtorch that carries Air America. Nick what's his name [Ed.: I have no idea who Nick is.] is babbling about Fascist Bullies, the unnamed anonymous cowards hiding behind cute names like Hindrocket, et al. When it comes to humor this is apparently the laugh track of the left. But never fear old Nick (a true son of the common man) is on to blog and is warning one and all (the new Paul Revere?) about the danger to the republic (and Minnesota) in the person of these PAID political operatives, such as Power Line. It is WAR! There are no standards, accountability, supervision or editing as is the case for poor humble Nick. Beware the PAID political commentators, says uncle Nick." I think Air America exists mostly so it can be ridiculed by conservatives, so a lengthy response probably isn't necessary, but two quick points suggest themselves. First, we are about as far from being "anonymous" as you can get. Apparently Nick Whoever hasn't thought to click on the "about us" link, nor has he read the articles about us in Time and other publications, nor has he taken the trouble to Google us. Great research, Nick. I've never heard of a 'Nick' on Air America either. But the fact that "Nick Whoever" can't be bothered to research his factual claims should have been a huge clue as to his identity. On my commute home today, I was flipping around during a Hewitt commercial and landed on the local Air America outlet (KTNF 950 AM). They were replaying a broadcast of their morning show, normally hosted by Wendy Wilde. And who, you may ask was filling in for Wendy on her day off? Yes - it's none other than Nick Coleman. The former host of the KSTP Sunday afternoon shift (before the marketplace decided an extra two hours of Car Talk was infinitely more listenable) and beleaguered Star Tribune lead columnist was on and talking fast and loose, and despondently, about politics. I didn't hear his specific shots at Hinderaker, but I did hear and jot down this verbatim comment (regarding conservatives in Minnesota): These people are working constantly to turn Minnesota into Alabama. I feel discouraged. That last part should maybe be the new Wendy Wilde Show slogan. At least when Nick Coleman is substitute hosting. Coleman also claimed to know a "high placed individual in Republican circles," someone "experienced" with a "good heart." Someone Nick said, if he could reveal the person's name, our jaws would be on the floor. And, according to Nick, this Republican says, thanks to the conservative movement in the state: "we're going down the tubes, in every category, in quality of life, health care, education, the environment. Just like the Titanic, we've seen the iceberg, the bell is ringing, and we don't have time to turn the ship around." We can only guess who this highly placed Republican is (the only person I'm ruling out at this point is John Hinderaker). It would be interesting for Nick's professional journalist news instincts to compel him to get this person on the record. Because this is, you know, NEWS. At least it is if it's true. Which, given Coleman's record, there's no better than a 50-50 chance of. It is valuable see Coleman's overall perspective on Minnesota revealed. One can now understand why he felt the need to take a story like Maxfield Elementary (which its Principal says has enough books for everyone and that it is working for everybody) and position it, twice, as an example of why YOUR SCHOOLS ARE BURNING. Sometimes, in order to fit your conclusion, the facts need to be sacrificed. And apparently that's what we're seeing with Maxfield Elementary. Coleman's commentary on all issues of Minnesota politics, especially when it comes to matters of taxes and spending, need to be read in this context: Minnesota is just like the Titanic and we're going down fast. And he's going to do all he can to convince you of that too. Labels: Media-Local (02-04)
I stopped into the Sam's Buze Mart Club or whatever it's called yesterday in search of a large, cheap bottle of high quality bourbon, as I believe Lileks mentioned a few weeks back that one of his butlers had scored a liter of Makers Mark for him at a Sams for 20 dollars.
Sadly, they had no Makers, but I was tempted by a bottle of Shakers vodka for $26, since it normally goes for at least 30. But I passed and headed to the regular old Hop Hut, knowing a nice selection of bourbons awaited me. Blanton's is okay, as I have a bottle at home, and the bottle with the little horse on the top is cool and all, but for $41 that sauce better knock me out and it didn't. Woodford Reserve at $31 is awful. It has a decidedly Windsorian flavor to it and I haven't had Windsor since the last time the Elder had me over to his house (cheap bastard). Makers and Knob Creek, both at around $20, are quality bourbons, but since this is "The Holidays" I wanted to get something a little more special. Whiskey River (~$30) is supposed to be good, but the picture of Willie Nelson on the box makes me question their marketing (after all he's really more of a smoker than a drinker). So, after weighing my choices, I snatched a bottle of the exquisite Baker's ($30), a 107 proof, smooth, yet complex sipping bourbon that is especially welcome in the winter months and brought it to the counter. As I approached the Buze Guy asked me if I had tried Baker's bigger brother, Booker's ($42) which clocks in at a shocking 127 proof with even more taste. Naturally, I had to get it. Upon returning home and immediately pouring myself a healthy tumbler full (the Doubtlessette was visiting a friend) I have to say it is everything Buze Guy said it was. I cut it with an ice cube, thinking it would still be "hot" but it was surprisingly smooth for something with so much horsepower. And the taste lingers on your tongue long after the sip has leaves your mouth. Delicious. One warning about this hooch though: one glass will put you over the moon. I consumed one and soon found myself listening to a Dimebag Darrell tribute on Sirius and really enjoying it (I had never heard a Pantera song before). So much so that I started operating the speed dialer on my cell phone so I could share my experience with the Nihilist in Golf Pants, Saint Paul and The Elder. Since none of them were home, I left what must have sounded like really weird messages on each of their machines. Some consisted of Pantera music, some the Stoner Dude comments from the radio guys doing the tribute and for Saint Paul's message, I held the phone up to the TV, which was broadcasting a Ted Kennedy speech (I guess that was appropriate). The next morning, after waking up surprisingly un-molested (two Totinos party pizzas is great preventative hang over medicine, fyi) I got an email from the Elder stating that his wife was rather freaked out by some weird messages left on his machine and he suspected either a. a stalker or b. that I had something to do with it. Upon learning it was me, he wrote "What exactly were you drinking?" Bookers, dear brother, Bookers. Labels: Drinking
Columnists Gone Wild
The controversy over the recent inaccuracies in Nick Coleman's reporting in the Star Tribune seems to be heating up. For those just tuning in, our story so far is revealed in these previous posts. And now the Big Trunk has added Power Line's considerable gravitas to the debate. With the size and quality of their audience now alerted to the irregularities in Coleman's reporting, he won't be able to avoid answering for his work for much longer. In fact, he has hinted that he may be forced to present a full response soon. Here's the text of the email Nick Coleman sent to the Pioneer Press's Craig Westover: Dear Craig Westover and Art Coulson: Where in my November 14 or Dec. 5 columns on the literacy problems at St. Paul's Maxfield School did I mention the word "textbooks"? Both columns were about the desperate effort to improve reading skills at Maxfield, and the fact that that effort has been hampered by a shortage of READING materials. The topic was not text books. It was LITERACY. Perhaps you should look into it, Westover. What Principal Zelma Wiley and Superintendent Pat Harvey have upbraided you for was your lazy attempt to exploit the situation to serve an anti-public school agenda (You couldn't even get off your duff to set foot inside a school 1.5 miles from your desk). All you did was hijack my columns to beat up on a school whose parents and neighbors were trying to help their school survive. This is kicking poor kids while they're down. Now you are covering your butt in your blog -- but not in the newspaper? Whassamatter? Too hot for you? (Side note on Coleman. For some reason, subconsciously, I still hold onto the preconception that Nick Coleman is a professional journalist and that he actually does "know stuff". That maybe our criticisms betray a lack of analysis and perhaps he deserves more respect that we've granted him, if only we'd take the time to understand him better and remove the partisan ear muffs long enough to really listen to him. This instinct illustrates how powerful the medium is, in terms of granting default legitimacy to whatever is "in the paper," an impression particularly powerful for those not prone to analysis at all. Then Coleman writes something like that, to a fellow MSM journalist no less, and it proves we've been right all along. Coleman's standard of conduct, level of rhetoric, and attitude towards his job is beneath what you'll find on any blogs (at least any worth reading). "Kicking poor kids while they're down" - you don't even see that in the City Pages. It's embarrassing, laughable, childish - and wholly consistent with the rhetoric in his columns. I guess it's not shtick. That's the real Coleman - the lead columnist for the dominant newspaper in the market. Is there anybody in Star Tribune management who has any shame left? Do they even care what he's doing any more?) What's great about Coleman's telegraphed punch to "address this in more detail" is that he's beholden to the structures of the mainstream media. He's all fired up and ready to defend himself ... but not until his next columns runs, nearly a week later. On the bright side, that will give him time to meticulously research his topic, get the facts right, and hone his prose to a high degree of professionalism and accuracy ..... Ah, yes, sometimes I crack myself up. Instead of a reasonable, professional discussion of the issues at hand, I predict Nick's columnar response (if it ever appears) will include some or all of the following: 1) Clintonian parsing of language. He'll try to make us believe there is a difference between "textbooks" and "books in classrooms." Any readers who made the mistake of confusing the two will be blamed for their own ineptitude. Then he'll question the secret, evil motivations behind anyone who could possibly make the mistake of misreading a Nick Coleman column. 2) Blame others for his mistake. Maybe Zelma Wiley, or someone else, didn't tell him everything he needed to know when he was interviewing them. Remember, that was his excuse when the Minneapolis Police Department caught him spreading falsehoods about their record. To quote Coleman: True, but not my fault: The park police spokesman I talked to did not mention that there were other arrests that night, even though I asked for a description of what had occurred. If I had been given the information, I would have included it." 3) Attempt to distract from the real issue via ad hominem attacks on bloggers (a status to which he'll assign Pioneer Press writer Westover). In Nick's mind the word "blogger" alone is enough to discredit any criticism he received, so he'll bleed it for all it's worth. Maybe go after our sartorial choices (pajamas, boxer shorts, doesn't matter to us - because, that is actually TRUE). Perhaps he'll belabor the perceived "geeky" aspects of the medium. Because, you know, you have to some sort of science freak to use computers as the primary vehicle to transmit editorial comment. Given Coleman's ability to stay current with the culture, I predict at least one derisive Star Trek reference, (bonus points if he slyly uses the phrase "beam me up, Scotty"). I encourage the legion of other long time (long suffering) readers of Coleman to come out with their predictions of what his response to the Maxfield reporting discrepencies will be. Email them to me, or put them on your own blogs and shoot me the link. But hurry, you've only got two days before Coleman is on deadline again.
It's a little past midnight and I'm chillin' with a little television and a couple of beers (Summit Winter by chance) after a late night hockey game. You can't play hockey for an hour and a half and then come home and crash outright. You need some time to wind down. Some time and a drink or two. This time is cutting into my sleep in a significant way, for I'm due to fly to Houston at 5:45am later this morning. Yeah that's right, the flight leave at 5:45am. I figure I'm going to get a solid three, maybe three and a half hours of slumber.
After landing in Houston, I'll be traveling to a plant for a tour and a little talk on inventory. At 9pm, I'll hop a flight to Chihuahua, Mexico. By midnight, I should be checked in at a hotel in Chihuahua. A long, long day. If all works according to plan, I will be out at the Misericordia Orphanage on Wednesday. With the assistance of someone with experience on the matter, we're going to try to set up a foundation to ensure that we can provide continued assistance to the orphanage in the most efficient manner possible. If you'd like to help the kids immediately, we would really appreciate any and all donations. Whatever funds we have on accumulated by Wednesday will be used on this visit. Labels: Travel Sunday, December 12, 2004
Rocky Mountain Lockdown
Tim reports from Parker, Colorado on security precautions taken since 12/13: Now let's move on to what has happened here in Colorado over the last year. Governor Owens has taken serious steps to providing a safe and secure state. First, he created a Homestate Security Department with a Director of Homestate Security, and no, Hugh, you cannot have that title. I know it seems drastic, but if it saves just one life then it will be worth it (jeepers, I'm starting to sound like a bleeding heart lib). All out-of-state visitors will be given a simple test. The test will consist of questions about wine, music, hockey, football, baseball and the Colorado mountains. Because this is such a wide range of subjects, everybody will know something about one of those subjects and will undoubtedly pass and be welcomed into our fine state. Except Hugh; who knows nothing about those subjects. But as we Coloradans love to share our outdoors with all out-of-state guests, especially those with money, we will not prevent Hugh from enjoying our spectacular Rocky Mountain wilderness. But we did have to establish a few simple precautions. First, his picture will be posted at all points of entry; I think the picture of him in a hockey helmet captures his essence. Second, he must wear fluorescent orange clothing, head-to-toe at all times, so he can easily be spotted from a distance. Third, Hugh must also wear a helmet at all times. He will understandably balk at this at first, but if we tell him it is the same helmet Maurice Clarett wore while driving cars around while attending Ohio State, I'm sure Hugh will put it on before you can get to the part about the cash Maurice found in the trunks of all those cars. Fourth, we will have two forms of mechanized travel available to visitors; one form for those that exhibit a high to low level of aptitude, and one form for Hugh. Most people will be allowed to operate bikes, scooters, ATVs, snowmobiles, motorcycles, cars, etc., just like us locals. Then there is the equipment Hugh will be allowed to operate. We have found a way for Hugh to safely operate the same equipment without endangering everybody within a seven county area. Hugh's mechanized equipment will have special rails that keep the equipment within a set track, very much like the car rides at the county fair. So don't be alarmed if you're out enjoying the scenic beauty of the Rockies and you come across a single steel rail on a trail; that's so Hugh can also enjoy the Rocky Mountain outdoors. But I wouldn't stand there very long; if you see a fluorescent blot in the distance wearing an Ohio State crash helmet, you best be moving along. Why tempt fate? We're still developing contingency plans in case Hugh decides he would like to try skiing, skating, or tubing, but given that his knees are not so good, we have more time for these activities. If he decides to take up fishing or hunting, we will have to go to an elevated alert level. I know this all sounds over-the-top, but it's for the kids, and I know this is something we can all get behind (jeeze, there I go again).
...than to send an e-mail and remove all doubt. Based on reading his columns, I've always pictured Nick Coleman as being an arrogant, petulant, and ultimately petty little man. His e-mail response to Craig Westover on the on-going Maxfield school controversy, confirms that my long held views of Coleman are spot on. Even though he probably deserves nothing more than a lump of coal, I hope that Santa sees fit to leave some tact, wit, and class under the Coleman's Christmas tree this year. Lord knows he could use some.
Labels: Media-Local (02-04) Saturday, December 11, 2004
Is Our Children Learning?
Tom Swift from Pair O' Dice is a St. Paul resident, a parent of school-aged kids, and a long time advocate for reform of the public school system (if you can call system dismantling a "reform"). He's got more on the Zelma Wiley/Maxfield School imbroglio, including some first hand observations of what it's like dealing with The System. Bill Sweetman is another St. Paulite and published author. He writes in with his experience in book acquisition for the school district: The brouhaha over books reminded me of an incident a couple of years ago. when I served on our district's Curriculum Review Committee. One evening, we had a presentation from our media specialists. In support of their case for more money, they wheeled in a library cart full of books. I don't remember the actual number or total cost that they quoted, but I was rather surprised to find an average of $17+ per book. I said that this seemed a little steep, in the Amazon era, for a batch that included elementary-school and middle-school books. (Later, I found only a small minority of kids'/student books that cost more than $17 online.) Moreover, an outfit that spends $80K+ on library books a year should be able to negotiate bigger discounts; I know that my publisher sells at 50% of cover price to the smallest retailer. The answer left my jaw on the table. The district, I was told, usually paid MORE than retail. They still acquired their books through "jobbers" who buy books in bulk from the publisher, add Dewey labels and Mylar covers and put together the school's mixed order. Granted, that was probably the only way to do things in 1990. I don't think this has changed. The media specialists were very defensive and weren't about to do anything that made their lives more difficult (like organizing a posse of volunteers to label and cover books). They just wanted more money to do things the old way. And that's why the books in the school library are old.
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
The official start of winter is just around the corner. With it comes the best beer season of the year. It's time for the brews of winter. I love winter beers. Hearty, heavy, and heaping with flavor. True beer flavor that is. Save the nutmeg for the eggnog and the cherries for dessert. I don't go for the nutmeg flavored Christmas brews or cranberry lambic nonsense though. Try to keep it a real beer. My favorite winter beer is a local favorite: Summit Winter Ale. And I'm not just saying that because Summit's founder will be a guest on the NARN later today. Although if a good word here means more samples, I'll shill shamelessly. My only complaint about Summit Winter, which I will undoubtedly address with Mark Stutrud; what happened to the distinctive red label? Other top shelf choices for winter include: Big Sky Brewing Powder Hound Winter Ale, Full Sail Wassail Winter, Goose Island Christmas Ale, Red Hook Winterhook, and the always excellent (and different each year) Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale. Just a notch below are Schell's Blizzard Ale, Leinenkugel's Winter, and Shipyard Brewing Winter Ale. Unfortunately, winter beers are often the red-headed step children of the brewing world. They don't get nearly the respect they deserve, and many brewers don't even bother to put out a winter seasonal. 'Tis a shame. All I want for Christmas is a couple of good winter beers. More on seasonal drinking. Friday, December 10, 2004
Exceptional Journalism
More on the Zelma Wiley/Maxfield Elementary mystery from one of the horse's mouths, Craig Westover.
The Chick, The Charity, and The Chugger
Be sure to catch the NARN tomorrow as we interview Ann Coulter (1pm CDT), Jim Hake from Spirit of America (1:30pm CDT), and, best of all, Mark Stutrud founder of St. Paul's own, Summit Brewing Company (2pm CDT). Mmmm...I can taste the Summit Winter Ale now.
In The Blog Zone
Steven Vincent, author of In The Red Zone, an excellent book about Iraq, has joined the blogosphere with the aptly titled blog, In the Red Zone.
Thanks to all those who called or e-mailed with kind words on the Northern Alliance Radio Network filling in for Hugh Hewitt on Tuesday and Thursday. Special recognition to those bloggers who dialed in last night including David from Infinite Monkeys, Joe from the evangelical outpost, Joshua from View From a Height, and, even though he didn't mention his blog on the air, Doug from Considerettes.
I also want to apologize to any callers from Colorado who wanted to talk about the one year anniversary of Hugh's Snowmobile Adventure. We had a lot to cover last night and weren't able to get to all the calls that we wanted to. Barbra a.k.a. The Golden Girl who blogs at Girl in Right, did e-mail with her concerns: Any word on the findings of the 12/13 commission? I hear it's very hush-hush. Apparently the stumbling block is whether to issue snowmobile driver's licenses to residents of sunbelt states. How can that even be a point of debate? I don't know if I'll ever feel safe again. Michael from Chicago e-mails to nag: Should I infer that because you're not called Fratres Libertatis that you either flunked or did not study Latin in school (except that awful legal Latin lawyers learn)? God, I can't believe I wrote that. I sound like a damned school marm. Yes. You do sounds rather marmish Michael. The truth of the matter is, that despite the fact that I attended years of Catholic school, I never picked up a lick of Latin. When we were looking for a name for a web site that we thought no one would ever be reading, I picked out Fraters and Libertas as individual Latin words and then merged them in an unholy alliance. Since then, we've been reprimanded by folks more marmish than you, that the name is not proper Latin. But with the FL brand firmly established, we can't very well go and change it, can we? Not with eight thousand pair of official Fraters Libertas boxers on order (for those who enjoy writing withering and anonymous social commentary in their underpants). Labels: NARN (04-05)
Where's the Outrage?
A few days ago, when commenting on the many moods of Maxfield Elementary Principal Zelma Wiley, I mentioned that not even a serial fabricator like Nick Coleman could reconcile her public statements about the failing/successful status of her school. Well, I was right, Nick Coleman hasn't yet tried to make it all fit together. (Though, I suspect he's isolated enough from the real world that he doesn't even realize a contradiction exists.) I am amused to see someone else has given it a try. Flash, the blogger from a site called Centristy, jumps into the breach, attempting to clean up Coleman's work, as well as make excuses for Zelma Wiley's apparent confusion. Be aware, Flash is not only a blogger, he's also a public school teacher. Keep that in mind as you read his work. Excerpt: Which brings us to the questions St. Paul asks over at Fraters: So which is it? Either "we don't have enough books" or "all of our classrooms have the textbooks they need."Well, St. Paul, it's both, and yes it can be both. The innovative and dedicated staffs of the public school districts are doing the best they can with the limited resources that are available. Maxfield clearly had a shortage of adequate reading materials 'a couple of years ago', but due to a resourceful staff and compassionate neighbors, the stock on the shelves are growing. Is that good enough, I don't think so, but it is enough that they can get by. And is that what we want for our future, enough for them to 'get by' If I'm reading Flash correctly, he's claiming that Nick Coleman's columns on Maxfield from the past few weeks are actually historical pieces. Coleman was detailing the decrepit state of that school from a 'couple of years ago,' conditions that don't exist any more. By Flash's own admission, resources are now "enough to get by." Remember, he's a public school teacher, so he's presumably an expert in these matters. Let's recall, Coleman's quotes from those columns included such statements as: "This is how nuts we have become" and "YOUR SCHOOLS ARE BURNING." And Coleman includes a desperate call to raise taxes, here and now, in the present, to solve this problem. Maybe Flash will claim that those increased taxes will go to a museum exhibit showing how bad Maxfield used to be, before that "innovative and dedicated staff" at the school district finally kicked into gear. But I can't see how any intellectually honest person could read Coleman's columns, supported with Zelma Wiley's quotes, as anything other than his attempt to portray current conditions. Perhaps we can all agree that Coleman's rhetoric was wildly hyperbolic, deceptive, and irresponsible. If Flash will stipulate to that, I'll let Wiley off the hook (for now) for her contradictory statements. It's entirely possible that Coleman manipulated her comments and positioned them grossly out of context. Why would Coleman do such a thing? Because you generally can't motivate people to increase their own taxes, and return to double digit increases in education funding, without creating the impression of an EMERGENCY. And saying the truth, (the one stated by Flash - they're getting "enough to get by"), probably isn't sufficiently persuasive for that purpose. So Coleman did what he had to do, with Wiley providing all the tacit support she could. I'm curious why Wiley (or Flash, for that matter, or any teachers at Maxfield) didn't write the Star Tribune attempting to correct Coleman's characterizations about the public school system. Wiley did write the Pioneer Press, correcting Craig Westover. Yet Coleman and Westover start from an identical premise - Maxfield school doesn't have enough books and the students are suffering because of it. The only difference in their columns is identifying the cause of this problem. Coleman says blame the taxpayers. Westover says the school administrators need to be held accountable. And guess which one made Wiley squawk? Notice, Wiley's corrections only concern the original characterization, that Maxfield doesn't have enough books and that it's a problem. A topic Coleman has devoted two columns to, including taking direct quotes from Wiley to support this exact contention. Where's the outrage from Zelma Wiley about that? I think we all know the answer to that. There isn't any outrage from her about Coleman. As long as someone else is being blamed, the perception of a failing school system is just fine by her and the education system elite. But when someone expects those in charge to answer for their end product, we suddenly get a whole new attitude. Everything is fine, at least good enough to get by. And, according to Flash (a public school teacher), that new attitude is also the truth. Truth, what a refreshing development from a government agency. And an object lesson in why accountability is a good thing. My guess is that Zelma Wiley and teachers like Flash don't agree with that. They have a vested interest in the status quo. The system is their priority, not the performance of the students. Nick Coleman's dream of increased taxes for education spending will benefit the system and them personally. Therefore, they see no harm in letting Nick Coleman spread some lies, if it's all for the greater good (of their paychecks). UPDATE: More on this from Mitch Berg. UPDATE II The Elder Adds: I'm not a guy who knows "stuff" or a teacher, but I do believe that when you say, "We don't have enough books" you are speaking in what is commonly known as the present tense. She did not say, "We didn't have enough books", which would have been an accurate way of representing the shortage of books that occurred two years ago.
Feliz Navidad
Next week, I'll be traveling to Chihuahua, Mexico on a business trip and am planning on stopping by the Misericordia Orphanage. If you'd like to help make this Christmas a little bit merrier for the kids, you can make a donation here. Gracias. Thursday, December 09, 2004
The Wreck of the New Media Herald
[Sung to the tune of "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"] The legend lives on from the Generalissimo on down Of the big flake they call Hughie Hewitt The flake, it is said, doesn't know how to drive a sled And a tree in Colorado can prove it With Dockers already on, his boots he next donned And the New Media Herald seemed ready His jacket warm and blue, held Snickers to be chewed When the pangs of hunger came early The host was the pride of the Salem Network side Coming out from some town in Ohio As the big talkers go he was smarter than most With his ideas and thoughts well reasoned. Concluding some deals with a couple of free meals He was now a long way from Cleveland And later that day when the fat lady sang It was tree branches that he'd be a feelin'. The wind in the trees was barely a breeze Snow conditions were at their peak rating And the whole group knew, as ol' Hughie did, too, That the hills of Colorado were waiting. Hugh's sled was great but the key to his fate Was keeping it straight on the trail way A pretty simple task, not too much to ask Except from this clumsy ol' Buckeye When starting time came the young guide turned his head Saying Hugh you're too old to teach ya Not liking his sass ol' Hugh hit the gas The guide said, Dude it's been good to know ya The guide shouted out as he lost sight of the lout And the snowmobile trip was in peril And just round the bend it did indeed end With the wreck of the New Media Herald Does anyone know where Hugh's common sense goes When he embarks on a natural outing The rescuers all say he'd have made the whole way If had any coordination to speak of. That tree that he hit has been memorialized A wreath marks the site of the crashing And all that remains are the scars on the trunk Another victim of Hugh's nature bashing Dennis Prager drolls, Savage stings In the midst of his lunatic rantings Laura Ingraham streams into young men's dreams, As she lights up the mid-morning ratings. And farther ahead Michael Medved Takes all calls that lefties can send him But it's Hugh that we love, as we pray to above That his crash of December be remembered. In a rustic sweat lodge in Denver they prayed In the Great Spirit's Buffalo Teepee The tom-tom was drummed, 'til a hundred and one For each branch lost to the New Media Herald The legend lives on from the Generalissimo on down Of the big flake they call Hughie Hewitt The flake, it is said, doesn't know how to drive a sled And a tree in Colorado can prove it.
A Day That Will Live In...
Our fondest memories. We've almost reached the one year anniversary of Hugh's Snowmobile Adventure. What a better time to relive the glory than tonight on Hugh's own radio show? Good times, good times.
Chris writes in with further comment on the inspired lunacy that is Al Franken:
I am writing in response to your comments yesterday on Al Franken. I know it specifically focused on his Grammy nod, but I felt inclined to add the following: I occasionally listed to his show to see how far out he and his guests are in regards to everything conservative/Republican and they never disappoint me. That is, when I figure out what he is talking about. Having said that, you are correct in saying the show is bad. It is very bad. Objectively speaking, he has a terrible radio presence. He CONSTANTLY clears his throat. This is incredibly annoying for the listener. He CONSTANTLY allows for many periods of dead air which I believe is a killer in the radio world. He has a co-host who CONSTANTLY has to step in and bring him back from some rant or to fill in dead air time. I have to assume that senior management of Air America put her in there for these very reasons. Oh, did I mention the constant Um's and Oh's and Ah's that come out of him. I am a true believer in free market economies and I believe that his presence on radio is indeed limited. NOT because of the subject matter of what he is trying and failing to get across but, because he is simply terrible on the radio. I hope Chris's faith in Adam Smith isn't shaken with today's news that Franken has been signed to a new 2-year contract, to continue his award winning throat clearing, dead air, and Ums and Ohs. I too am under the general impression that those who suck will eventually be run from the marketplace. And over to NPR. But I guess having a filthy rich guardian angel can do wonders for overcoming market forces. NPR has you, the taxpayer. Radio Air America has: [Rob] Glaser, New York investment banker Eugene Keilin and other investors have recently committed $13 million in new financing. How many radio show hosts have ever needed to secure millions in financing in advance before being allowed to continue with their jobs? I guess the same number who have been given $1 million contracts before they ever do their first show. You've got to hand it to Franken though, finding a way to sacrifice himself for a cause and still getting a million dollars. Some guys just have a knack for finding fools and their money. Those wishing to hear the beautiful song of market forces working in perfect harmony (otherwise known as the grinding sound of rank exploitation) should tune into the Hugh Hewitt Show tonight. Once again, it will be substitute hosted by the feel good hit of the late Fall/early Winter, the Northern Alliance. With 6 or 7 of us in the studio, I can promise you there will be no throat clearing or even a microsecond of dead air. And very few Ums and Ohs. We're more prone to Ers and Ahs and the occasional Harrumph. Tonight 5 - 8 PM Central. In the Twin Cities on AM1280 the Patriot, and around the nation, on these Love Network Affiliates. Don't you dare miss it. Labels: NARN (04-05)
Out-Dumbed, by George!
The latest from the Russ Vaughn, noted bard of the blogosphere: Did you really believe we're too stupid to see, How you tried to deceive us with smug sophistry? Did you actually think we'd accept without thinking, That our ship of state's hulled, our economy's sinking? We saw how with help from your media tools, You picked just the right captain for your ship of fools. With your Cambodian Admiral at the helm of your boat You needed an ocean of lies just to keep him afloat. You put forward no spokesman with a true honest voice And offered the voters no acceptable choice. Your party got "jacked" by the loons on the left, And the rest of you've yet to wake up to the theft. You let billionaire bandits with a bolshevik whiff, Take your "Ride" for a drive that went straight off the cliff. So, do you now blame your loss on these crazies and flakes? Nope, by Jove, it was Rove, must've messed with the brakes. Even now that you've lost, you refuse to accept, That your party's outdated and its leaders inept. The election is over, and with your masquerades falling The true you we see is truly appalling. You've nothing but scorn for true faith and belief Holding up Christianity as some election year thief. Your apostasy's clear to those blacks and hispanics, Who, next time around, just may be your Titanics. So now as you sit contemplating your fate, Sipping modest chablis, camembért on your plate, Just remember your failure in sowing false fears, And let this burn in your brains for four more long years: Even owning the press and controlling the tube, You got your butts whipped by an' ol' Texas rube. So, keep pondering this 'til your brains are all numbed Rove didn't outsmart you; you were smartly out-dumbed That's gonna stick in your craws 'til you're forced to disgorge, All you smart liberal wienies just got out-dumbed, by George. Russ Vaughn Proud Red State Retard and former Democrat 'til they made me a political homeless person and the Republicans offered shelter. And Russ provides a little backstory: The poem above was inpired by the rereading of this letter I sent to the editor of the San Antonio Express-News back during the election, and which, to my utter amazement, they published: Out-Dumbing the Dems Good heavens, may wonders never cease! I just read a Jan Jarboe (South Texas Ultralib) column and found myself agreeing with her. Her advice to Democrats that George Bush is not the dummy they think he is reminds me of a good ol' boy from South Alabama who once worked for me. We were making a product presentation to a military procurement officer who was extremely full of himself and patronizing to us as civilian marketers, talking down to us as if we were entirely ignorant of the system. Offended by his condescension, I thought of explaining that we were intimately familiar with the proper procedures but then thought better of it. It was, after all, my salesman's account, so I should let him handle it. For thirty minutes he sat there in wide-eyed awe, hanging on to every word of this pompous buffoon's detailed explication of military procurement, interrupting with only an occasional, "Wow," or "Gee, so that's how it's done." Knowing my guy was a senior Reserve Navy officer and intimately familiar with this whole process I just sat there and bit my tongue. When we finally got out in the parking lot, with an order even larger than we had sought, I said, "Jim, why on earth did you put up with that blowhard, like that?" To which he winked, waved the order forms and drawled, "Hey, Boss, sometimes you just gotta out-dumb 'em." Ain't it the truth? Just ask Ann Richards. Or Al Gore. (And now John Kerry.) Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Weapon of Mass Distraction
Worst cover up identified so far in the UN Oil-for-Food Scandal? UN Secretary-General Communications Director Edward Mortimer's hair piece. Ye-gods, man. I'm watching him now getting his clock cleaned in an American Enterprise Institute sponsored debate (also featuring the devastating Claudia Rosset) on CSPAN. I will say a toupee as egregious as that does tend to distract one from the essence of his arguments. Given the double talk, rationalizations, and tap dancing he's reduced to apologizing for Annan, this may be the greatest misdirection play in international relations history.
The Nut Which Dare Not Speak Its Name
Nick Coleman has been railing lately about the sorry state of a certain St. Paul public school named Maxfield Elementary. His research uncovered that they have a lack of books in the classrooms. His insight and knowledge of the situation identified the cause of this problem as not enough tax dollars being allocated to public school funding. Here are examples of the rhetoric Coleman used to characterize the situation at Maxfield. Excerpts from his November 14 column: This is how nuts we have become. In order to teach kids to read, it helps if you have books. But when Zelma Wiley walked into Maxfield Magnet School in St. Paul and took over as principal a couple of years ago, there were hardly any books on the shelves of the school's 21 classrooms and not nearly enough books -- or the right mix of reading levels and subject matters -- in the school's library. How did we get to the point in Minnesota that we have a school in a minority neighborhood of our capital city where there aren't enough books? If you don't find that situation outrageous, you are part of the problem. "We know what happened, don't we? The poor are being punished for being poor and the politicians, instead of doing their damnedest to get things solved, are doing their damnedest to pass the buck. Highways are more important than kids. Excerpts from his December 4 column: YOUR SCHOOLS ARE BURNING! We have reached a four-alarm crisis in the education of this state's children, and the people who should be responding to the fire -- the governor, the Legislature, local political leaders -- are shirking their duty. No, they are doing worse than shirking. They are wrecking an education system that made Minnesota a leader. Criticism of Coleman's work thus far has centered on the nature of his ridiculously panicked, chicken little language and on the accuracy of his conclusions on the cause of the problem at Maxfield. Craig Westover, in particular, has provided the definitive evidence against Coleman's caterwauling about alleged under funding of the public school system. What hasn't been analyzed is the accuracy of Coleman's assessment of the problem in the first place. We all pretty much assumed he was correct in stating that Maxfield didn't have enough books for its classrooms, that education was being impeded due to the lack of basic materials. A belief justified by Coleman's quoting of the principal of Maxfield, Zelma Wiley: I don't want to go on the record with what I really think," Wiley said. "But I've never seen anything like this before. We haven't been adequately furnished. We don't have enough books." Which makes an editorial appearing in yesterday's Pioneer Press all the more curious. It was written by none other than Zelma Wiley. In her response to Craig Westover, she had this to say about the book situation at Maxfield: If Mr. Westover and Mr. Stern had visited our school, they would have seen our hard work paying off. They would have seen that all of our classrooms have the textbooks they need. They would have seen that we know with precision how every dollar we receive is being spent to help our students learn. And they would have seen students from diverse backgrounds improving and achieving. But they never bothered to drop by our school. Which is too bad, because I would have loved to have shown them a public school that is working for its students, its community and its state. So which is it? Either "we don't have enough books" or "all of our classrooms have the textbooks they need." Either our schools are burning or they're working for the students, community, and state. These extremes are far enough apart to prevent even a serial fabricator like Nick Coleman to claim they're both correct. Two possibilities exist for these dual interpretations of reality. Principal Zelma Wiley of Maxfield Elementary is blatantly lying in one of her statements. And if so, we need to know, was she lying then, or is she lying now? The other possibility is simply that Nick Coleman got the reporting horrendously wrong in his column. Twice. Wrong facts, wrong quotes, wrong conclusions. And now he's using this to self-righteously bludgeon the body politic for increased taxes on the people. Despicable. And if Coleman is at fault in this case, remember, it's not the first time he's done this. (Recall this whopper of incompetent reporting regarding the Minneapolis Police Department). Who's right and who's wrong? Wiley or Coleman? (Actually, Coleman's wrong either way. Either he's making up facts to fit his conclusions, or he's naively accepting whatever a public official is telling him and irresponsibly running with it). We, as news consumers, can't say what the truth is. It's up to our media institutions, those that are publishing these contrary views of reality, to sort this one out. As such I encourage you to write the Star Tribune to ask them to explain this situation (Editor Anders Gyllenhaal: andersg@startribune.com. Readers Rep Kate Parry: readerrep@startribune.com.) Any responsible media organization would feel compelled to the bottom of this. We'll see if the Star Tribune still qualifies under the definition "responsible media organization."
To the Spoiled Goes the Victory
Regarding Al Franken's nomination for a Grammy ... putting politics aside for a moment, Franken's broadcast is one of the worst radio shows I've ever heard (and I've heard them all). As an exercise in comedy it's an unqualified disaster. Given Franken's credentials in the business and the resources at his disposal, his end product is even more pathetic. A term that can also be used to describe his ratings in most markets. Primary causes for Franken's failure include a complete lack of spontaneity in presentation, which may be the curse of having too many resources at your disposal. I suspect having a staff of writers for a daily radio show tends to make the host lazy and overly dependent on the thinking of others. And dependent on reading a prepared script, which doesn't work in the talk radio format. The Franken Show's goal, it's reason for existence - explicitly influencing voting behavior - is at odds with humor. His "hateful" rhetoric and level of hyperbole is far beyond anything you'd hear on Limbaugh, precisely because he's trying to convince people to vote certain way, at all costs. Whereas Limbaugh is first and foremost trying to put on an entertaining show. And Rush's show is more about conservative philosophy than electoral politics. His ability to influence political thinking, and behavior, is a byproduct of these other factors, not the prime directive handed down from management. It's a critical difference that Franken and the clever thinkers in charge of Radio Air America never understood. This Amazon review of the Franken CD, from an individual predisposed to liking Franken, betrays the truth: I was sorely disappointed in this collection. I'm not fortunate enough to live in an area where I have access to Air America Radio, so I bought this somewhat "sight unseen". But, having enjoyed Franken's political books, I decided to give this CD a try. It is, in short, not funny. Not at all. There's a few moments that gave me a brief smile, but nothing made me laugh out loud. Franken certainly had a wealth of material to work with -- George W. Bush's lack of intelligence, lies about the war with Iraq, corporate greed, but that's the extent of the jokes: "ha ha, Bush is stupid", "ha ha, they lied about the war", "ha ha, corporations are greedy." This could have been much better. If this truly is "The Very Best of the O'Franken Factor", then I don't miss not being able to listen to it daily. That review is a refreshing moment of clarity from a liberal. But the hyper partisan left, desperate for a response to conservative dominance of the radio medium, have blindly (deafly?) lauded Franken's performance. His receiving a Grammy nomination is evidence that whoever votes for these things are typical members of the entertainment elite, aka the hyper partisan left. (For more evidence of that, see Franken's 1997 Grammy win for a recording of "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot" and his 2003 victory for "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right."). His winning an award for his awful performance on Radio Air America would be roughly equivalent to Michael Moore receiving an Oscar nomination for Fahrenheit 9-11. A message to the general public, and to history, that standards of excellence will be ignored when it comes to furthering this generation of artists' naive political interests and quest for power.
If you missed the Northern Alliance Radio Network filling in for Hugh Hewitt last night you missed: King and Saint Paul explaining why Bonds being juiced matters, Mitch acquiring that elusive moniker that he's been pining for, Captain Ed's policy of appeasement that involves ceding most of the United States to Mexico, a major announcement about Ralphie boldly going where no bobble head has gone before, and the emergence of a significant new force in American politics: NIPAG (Non Incumbent Political Action Group).
Whew. Talk about fodder for the office water cooler. Don't be left out in the cold again. Tune in Thursday night, when we once again sit in for the host who loves Hostess the mostest. We'll be welcoming Jim Hake from Spirit of America to talk about the Friends of Iraq Blogger Challenge. There's a fighting chance that we might even ask Jim which team he favors more in the challenge. Poor Fighting Fusileers. They're brave warriors, but they never had a chance against the far reaching power of the Northern Alliance. As Saint Paul said last night, we are the nexus of the alternative media. We sit astride the crossroads of the information highway. We hold the high ground. Labels: NARN (04-05)
Jethro Tull Is To Heavy Metal...
As Al Franken is to comedy. Rick e-mails to inquire: Are the Grammy Awards totally meaningless? They must be, because Al Franken has been nominated for a Grammy, Best Comedy Album: "The O'Franken Factor Factor-- The Very Best of the O'Franken Factor." I can't imagine that Al Franken's most rabid fans would fork money over for this. Perhaps farce should be its own category. The other contenders in the field are "Come Poop With Me," Triumph The Insult Comic Dog; "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents ... America: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction," Jon Stewart and The Cast of the Daily Show; "The Funny Thing Is ... ," Ellen DeGeneres; "Live at Carnegie Hall," David Sedaris. Rick points out that if the voice of the consumer is any indication, there is hope that we will avoid the horror of hearing a Franken acceptance speech: I should point out that his album is currently at 2,958th place on Amazon. "Come Poop With Me" by Triumph the Insult dog is at 2,251. Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Ralphie Goes Ballistic
For all the details on Ralphie's impending launch check out Rocket Team Vatsaas.
Ignorance Is Bliss
I'm pretty sure that we don't get The Sundance Channel in our neck of the cable woods. I'm also pretty sure that I won't be missing much tonight: Directed by Chris Hegedus and Nick Doob. FOX vs. Franken looks at the story behind Fox Television's legal efforts to halt publication of Al Franken's book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right. Beginning with Franken's comic account of his inspiration in writing the book, the film mixes humor with its lucid account of the case's First Amendment underpinnings.
Tune in tonight as the Northern Alliance Radio Network fills the delicate slippers of Hugh Hewitt. Expect an important announcement regarding a future trip that Ralphie is planning.
Labels: NARN (04-05)
Wave Of The Future Or Just Another Ripple In The Pond?
Over at Jay Rosen's PressThink (host to some of the best discussions about the future of media), Mark Glasser describes the media company he wants to work for. Will such a firm ever exist? Some people at PressThink are claiming that they already do, including one outfit whose name sounds awfully familiar.
The Words Of The Prophets Are Written On The Bathroom Walls
I discovered an fascinating bit of graffiti on the men's room wall yesterday. There, just above the urinal, was written "Cruz Bustamante is gay" in brilliant blue ballpoint ink. I must say that this sent my brain reeling in a haze of perplexed confusion. Has Cruz Bustamante made one headline since the recall election? Why did this Minnesota tagger feel compelled to share his thoughts on the sexual orientation of California's shadowy Lieutenant Governor? Why in the world would I care? How does a man write while urinating? Will I ever stop asking questions? Will you read further to find out? Being an inquisitive sort myself, I decided to do a little sleuthing...after I zipped up, of course. I conducted an exhaustive internet search (that is to say, more than 30 seconds) and could find no evidence to back up the spurious tile-borne claim. What I did find, however, was a darling little website devoted to Cruz's younger sister, Nao. It appears that Nao is quite the legend in California's performance artist community. In her 1992 work called "Indigurrito", Bustamante The Younger: ...strapped on a burrito to her loins and called for white men to come up on stage, take a bite out of the burrito and absolve themselves of 500 years of the white man's guilt. I'll spare you the link to that particular spectacle. Diving further in to the abyss, I also found that: Nao has made a recent foray into the online realms working with David Baal to create "In The Ring With Rosa", a serialized photo novella about wrestling and poodles. Photo novellas, wrestling and poodles...nothing gay about that. Still, that doesn't explain the cryptic graffiti concerning Cruz and, since all subsequent internet searches have lead me nowhwere even close to a legitimate explanation of the writer's intent, I'll have to create one of my own. What this guy meant to say was "Crews Boost A Man. Tea's Gay." Man...Mulder's going to be shocked to hear that. What those crews had to do with it may never be known. Monday, December 06, 2004
SOA Update: Rolling
If you watched the first half of yesterday's Packers-Eagles tilt, you can appreciate the way the Castle Argghhh! Fighting Fusileers for Freedom! are feeling at this point in the Spirit of America Friends of Iraq Blogger Challenge. Like the Packer defense trying to contain the Eagles, they feel powerless to stop the onslaught of the Northern Alliance juggernaut as we march up and down the field. In fact, if the blowout continues, we'll be able to get our second stringers in well before the end of the game. Recent additions to the crack Northern Alliance squad are brainstorming, The Impudent Finger, The Jade Monkey, pinkmonkeybird, and The Kool Aid Report. Join the Northern Alliance team here. Donate to the Northern Alliance crusade here.
The Davenport Effect
FL reader Jack resides in Los Angeles, but lives for Green Bay. He sends in this objection to my recent laser-like focus on Najeh Davenport. Considering the Vikings performance against the Bears yesterday, we'll consider it some salty balm for the wounds: Love the site. Love the blogs. Love the NARN. But I knew you guys would eventually show your true colors. Puhleeeeeez! If Davenport bothers you that much, we'll just bench him. Instead, we'll send Green, Fisher, Luchey, and Henderson running through your defensive backfield. You guys have bigger problems to worry about than confrontations with our serial defecator. Namely: 1) The fact that the Vikings are only required to stay in Minnesota through 2011. 2) The fact that your nitwit owner has his sights on Los Angeles. 3) That miserable excuse of a stadium you guys play in. 4) Four Super Bowl appearances. APPEARANCES!! 5) 15-1 in 1998 and nothin' to show for it. 6) Josh McCown Just play the game. Enjoy your Vikings while you have them. You have an excellent chance of winning with Moss healthy now. Hopefully for the Packers, the game won't affect our playoff position much. Meanwhile, you guys need to think of a new name for the team the NFL is going to award you after the Vikings leave town. Here are some suggestions: 1) Chokers 2) Carpet Queens 3) Purple People Greeters 4) Doormats I crack myself up. Hey, enjoy the attached .mp3 file [of the Vikings last second loss to the Cardinals last year]. I keep it on my iPod and blast it out my car stereo every time I drive by a Vikings fan. They look at me as if I had just pooped into their laundry basket. Keep up the good work, A Packer Backer in Los Angeles. Another Packer Backer, Tobin from Brooklyn Park, writes in with this observation: Interestingly enough, today's Instant Poll on the Strib web site, about why the Vikings lost, doesn't list "Too much crap in helmets" as one ofthe choices ... But I guess that's because Najeh was safely away in Philadelphia getting his butt handed to him by the Eagles. Let's not dismiss the Davenport Effect too quickly here. As any student of public opinion knows, the exit polling is ALWAYS suspect. Instead of the Star Tribune's Instant Pollsters, we'll turn to someone a little more qualified to speak on the Vikings loss to the Bears yesterday. This from Jim Souhan, quoting Vikings Coach Mike Tice: The Vikings can easily weather this, but that's not the way they should view it. This was a lost opportunity, one that could have put them a game up on Green Bay in the division and moved them to within a game of Atlanta in competition for home-field advantage in the playoffs. "Crap" is what Tice kept calling it, inelegantly, angrily and accurately.
There Are Stars In The Northern Sky
Atomizer seems to be quite happy with the constellation name that Hugh has assigned to the Northern Alliance. After hearing the news, he reportedly exclaimed, "Dude, he gave us the name of a beer. Sweet!" Saturday, December 04, 2004
Sports fan Tobin from Brooklyn Center writes in with further ominous warnings regarding Green Bay Packer and Closet Laundry Basket Defecator Najeh Davenport, and his appearance in the Twin Cities for the Christmas Eve game against the Vikings.
... the game against the hated Packers [is] still four weeks away. What can we expect in the way of sports topics between now and Christmas Eve? Musings about Brett Favre's painkiller addiction from years past? A list of evidence about the NFL's bias towards Green Bay? While you posted it under the guise of "In the interest of knowing our opponents", I wonder what relevance this has as Mr. Davenport being an opponent of the Vikings. Do the Vikings need to keep a close eye on their helmets while they're off the field during the game? Will this distract them from doing their job on the field? Excellent points sir. The Vikings definitely do not need any more distractions. But given Davenport's track record (and police record), no open receptacle in Minnesota can be considered safe until he's back in the Dairy State. Labels: Football Friday, December 03, 2004
Their Mr. Brooks
In the August 23rd edition of National Review Ross Douthat explored the appeal of David Brooks to liberals: David Brooks is every liberal's favorite conservative -- or so every liberal says. He is the New York Times's "loveable house conservative," according to Slate; "the in-house conservative pundit of Liberal America," says Philadelphia magazine; the "right's ambassador to the liberal establishment," writes Timothy Noah in the Washington Post; and the Left's "tame conservative, the right-winger without flecks of foam on the sides of his mouth," according to The Nation. CNN's Aaron Brown and Michael Kinsley (writing in the New York Times Book Review) have proffered similar phrases of fond condescension. But Nick Confessore recently topped them all, writing in The Washington Monthly that "to put things in Brooksian terms, he's a conservative, but the kind you'd bring home to discuss politics over $17-a-pound artisanal goat cheese and organic chardonnay bottled by third-generation French peasants." Although some of that shine has apparently worn off as a result of Brooks' continued support for the war in Iraq and his optimistic embrace of the American Dream in On Paradise Drive, for many liberals he continues to be the token conservative writer they proudly site as evidence of their media diversity. It brings to mind the old line "Why, some of my best friends are black" used to insulate one from accusations of racism, as if merely the fact that liberals read David Brooks' columns is evidence of their openness to differences of opinion. The liberal view of Brooks as a "good conservative" was in evidence last night at an appearance by Brooks at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, which was sponsored by the Orwellian sounding National Institute of Health Policy. I attended the affair accompanied by Saint Paul. We had invited Atomizer to join us, but he had a Pilates class that he just couldn't tear himself away from. I am a fan of David Brooks, more for his books than his columns in the New York Times. Most of his speech last night dealt with the divided nature of the country in the aftermath of the election. He offered a few explanations for the Blue/Red state divide, among them the geographic and lifestyle divisions that he talks about in On Paradise Drive. Brooks is a treasure trove of interesting demographic tidbits and he shared them with us in a humorous, yet insightful manner. All in all, I enjoyed his speech although at twenty bones, the price of admission did seem a bit steep. It was also easy to see why liberals have taken Brooks in as their pet conservative. I don't know if he was just playing to the audience, but he slipped in several harsh jabs at the Bush administration. Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with it, if that is truly what you believe. But it seemed as if Brooks was consciously electing to include these anti-Bush asides just to make sure the crowd knew he wasn't some ideologically driven, "tow the party line" conservative. He also tempered most of his arguments that supported conservative positions. Again, it might have been a function of the setting and the audience, but I couldn't help but get the feeling that Brooks was diluting his rhetoric so as not to offend any liberal sensibilities. He tried very hard to get the idea across that "I'm a conservative, but I'm not one of those conservatives." You could also tell that he revels in his role as a "reasonable conservative" and enjoys the liberals scratching him behind the ears. I guess I can't really blame him. He's got a sweet gig at the Times and wants to keep that gravy train rolling. And everybody likes to be liked. But there's something off-putting about watching an intelligent, thoughtful conservative voice who's more concerned about being pals with liberals than taking them on. The real fun began after Brooks finished his speech. There was a brief question and answer session that revealed much about our fellow audience members. I had expected that Brooks would attract a mixed bag of liberal and conservative partisans. However, if the Q&A was any indication, Saint Paul and I may have been the only right thinkers in the crowd. There were seven, maybe eight people who asked questions. All liberals. Scratch that. Mostly liberals with a few radical lefties. Two of those who rose to query Brooks proudly announced that they were active in the anti-war protest movement. We're not talking MoveOn.org members. We're talking International Answer types. Saint Paul and I were sitting up in the cheap seats in the balcony, and once the partisan nature of the questions became apparent we slipped into Statler & Waldorf (the old men from The Muppets) mode. Lord knows our wise cracking and chortling was certainly well deserved. If you tried to come up caricatures of liberal thinking, you could never match the real life silliness on display last night. During his speech, Brooks had explained that one of the reasons the Democrats lost the election was that many people in middle America didn't appreciate being condescended to. In case anyone wasn't sure what Brooks was referring to, a man who was a textbook definition of liberal condescension stepped up to the mike. He explained how much he liked Brooks and how distraught he was at the election results. He described how he took his teenage children to Ohio to help the Kerry campaign instead of backpacking in Colorado. Saint Paul accurately labeled that as "child abuse." His voice wavering, seemingly on the verge of tears the man then pleaded with Brooks to explain why the "people that he visited in trailer homes in Wisconsin" had failed to "vote their economic interests" and instead had chosen to give him the finger when he asked them to vote for Kerry. At this point me and Saint Paul were almost doubled over with laughter. The guy was disturbed that he was given the bird? He was lucky that he didn't get his ass kicked when he rolled up in his Volvo wagon and demanded to know why the stoopid white trash folks didn't seem to appreciate the nuances of class consciousness. To his credit Brooks did explain to the baffled Bobo that economic populism was a losing cause. But the highlight of the Q&A was definitely the butchy looking older gal who prefaced her question by proudly proclaiming herself a member of the "secular Left", insulting the Catholic Church (bear in mind that St. Thomas is a Catholic college and Brooks was introduced by a priest), and claiming that Bush did not "believe in science." The last ridiculous assertion was too much for Saint Paul and he expressed his opinion of the validity of her claim. To me. At that point a young man seated behind us felt the need to intervene in our personal conversation by interjecting, "It's true!" Saint Paul immediately retorted, "It's false!" This tit for tat continued for a brief time before sputtering out. At the conclusion of the questions, the same youngster elected to engage Saint Paul in further debate on the matter. As oft happens in such situations, he came in full of vim and vinegar, prepared to unleash the complete arsenal of his rhetorical weaponry on an unprepared conservative. By the time the discussion was over, he had been forced to recant almost all of his original claims and humbly acknowledge the legitimacy of Saint Paul's arguments. This is the second time in less than a month when I've witnessed a liberal make a very poor decision to challenge Saint Paul to verbally throw down. David Brooks may be a bit of poodle when it comes to such matters. Saint Paul is a junk yard dog, whom local liberals would be well advised to beware of. On the way home I flipped on the radio and caught a replay on an interview with Brooks on Minnesota Public Radio that had aired earlier in the day. The venues that Brooks elected to appear in while in town (St. Thomas and MPR) speak volumes about his desire to cater to his liberal base. Hey David, if you're still around tomorrow how about swinging by the Patriot studio and coming on the air with the NARN? We're some of those conservatives. Could be a whole new audience for you.
SOA Update: Lots Of Talkin', Very Little Walkin'
Despite that fact that we're currently ravaging the Castle Argghhh! Fighting Fusileers for Freedom! team in a manner reminiscent of Genghis Khan, the Fusileers are smackin' as if they, not us, are the runaway leaders in the Spirit of America Friends of Iraq Blogger Challenge. The Joseph Goebbels of the Fusileers at Brain Shavings has prepared a series of agitprop graphics which captures the extent of the delusional fever that has gripped the Fusileers. What kind of Kool Aid are you guys drinking anyway? Needless to say, we will not dignify such thuggish rubbish rumbling with an official response. But be warned, you best not mess with the Northern Alliance, lest you follow the path of the Taliban onto the ash heap of history. Join the Northern Alliance team here. Donate to the Northern Alliance crusade here.
A Little Help
Because you just never know who might be reading, I'm going to post this request for help from DoctorZin at Regime Change Iran: We first met in the summer of 2003 when I was reporting on the protests inside of Iran. There were massive demonstrations taking place all over Iran and we hoped that Iran had reached a "tipping point." It was an exciting time and this young man kept the Free Republic community informed. He would risk his life sending me "on the spot" reports about these demonstrations and clashes, which I posted for him. After the protests died down, he continued to write to me. He would send messages hoping to educate Americans and those in the west about what the average Iranian thinks of America. He wanted to dispel the myth that Iranians were crazed anti-Americans. He tried to explain what kind of support the people of Iran were hoping to see from American leaders. He longed for our clear support of the Iranian people desire for regime change in Iran. Recently, this friend of ours was forced to go underground. The Iranian regime discovered that he had passed information to our government. So for the past month the regime has been hunting him. Several times he was nearly captured, so he kept on the move every few hours. He struggled with depression, health and fear. It was a horrifying situation. I tried to encourage him, and focused on how to keep him from being forced back into Iran after his visa expires. After many weeks he was finally able to get help and sneak out of the country. But now he could use some help from the blogosphere. Now we need to ensure that when he finally gets to a US embassy that they will really help him, not merely refer him the UN refugee program. We are asking anyone that has contacts in the administration or the state department to please contact us. We are seeking a way to help him get asylum. He risked his life for us; the least we can do is help him. You can contact Doctozin at: iranazad@cox.net
Also Known As "The Dockers D'oh Incident"
Tim from Colorado e-mails: Thanks for blabbing to the world about the marking of the anniversary of what we call "The Conifer Incident." We were hoping to keep it on the down-low so certain radio personalities wouldn't start thinking that maybe it's time for another Rocky Mountain Wilderness experience. Our insurance rates haven't stabilized since the last radio personality, who shall remain nameless but whose name rhymes with "Few Chew It", passed through here. We are planning a ceremony, but we need some help. Please understand that although a whole year has passed, we are still a little jumpy in these parts every time we see somebody in Dockers and Topsiders anywhere near a snowmobile. An aside: Did anybody check to see if Hugh had his snowmobile boots on the right feet? Not that it would've prevented "The Conifer Incident", but it might have tipped us off in advance. Next time he gets a snowmobile with only one spark plug. While we are conducting the ceremony, we need live updates from somebody we can trust that will tell us Hugh's position during every minute of the ceremony. If Hugh even starts to head to an airport, we're outta there. We will be forced to conduct our observance at an undisclosed location.
The Cat's Meow
Craig Westover has been providing the most comprehensive coverage of the soon to be imposed local smoking bans and today he has yet another thoughtful post on the subject. He's also a fellow cat guy and has posted a haiku that all fans of felines can relate to. Thursday, December 02, 2004
The Northern Wrestling Alliance
The New Patriots have responded to my charges on Tuesday that they were playing fast and loose with the facts in order to gratuitously disparage the US military's efforts in Iraq. I haven't had time to thoughtfully read their retort, or compose a response, but now I don't have to. Fellow Northern Alliance member Mitch Berg accepts the tag and comes off the top rope with his piercing rebuttal. He makes most of the points I would have, and then some. So, in short, 'what he said.' Recognition also goes out to the great Tom Swift, proprietor of Pair O' Dice. He's been mixing it up in the New Patriots comments section, bringing the appropriate amount of rhetorical fire to counter the New Patriots' efforts to use propaganda and willful fact shading in order to erode the will to win among anyone who would bother to read them. Maybe Hillary was right, it does take a village. Or at least a Three Man Tag Team.
Banging On Hugh So I Don't Have To
Doug from Bogus Gold tries to get inside Hugh's melon with Hewitt's Personality Disorder Explained: I think this begins to solve the riddle of Hugh coming out of nowhere with bizarre claims about people he insists are true. Think Lileks and the Hummels, or "Peeps" the Elder. It seems Mr. Hewitt can retain those sorts of details quite well, but he simply can't keep straight who they pertain to. Perhaps it is Michael Medved who collects Hummels, and James Lileks who stays kosher. Maybe the Elder served as a Generalissimo for some banana republic in the '80s, while Hugh's sidekick Duane is the one with the fondness for marshmallow Easter candy in amusing shapes. Glen at Phantom of the Blog reminds Hugh of the old adage about people in glass houses throwing stones. Or in this case people with their own history of issues with motorized vehicles chiding others about their mishaps. Don't forget that December 13th marks the one year anniversary of Hugh's disastrously short-lived snowmobile outing. We understand that a group of Colorado citizens is planning to have a ceremony in the woods where the incident occurred, which will include the laying of a memorial wreath at the foot of the tree that was victimized by Hugh's reckless incompetence. Meanwhile there may be some good news for Hugh on the blogging horizon: Microsoft Corp.'s MSN Internet division last night introduced a preliminary version of MSN Spaces, a new service that includes a tool for publishing weblogs, online journals commonly known as blogs. The tool is less flexible than many existing blog-publishing services, but it's meant to be easier to use. The service isn't likely to appeal to hard-core bloggers, and some analysts have mixed feelings about its prospects. But MSN executives say the approach should boost the interest in weblog publishing well beyond techies and enthusiasts to a much broader base of users. "This is for the masses," said Blake Irving, an MSN corporate vice president. At long last, a blogging tool that Hugh can use? UPDATE: Smartmoney.com: Breaking News: Wal-Mart Sales Weak; Target, J.C. Penney Up Hmmm...Wasn't there a certain radio talk show host encouraging us to boycott Target and shop at Wal-Mart this holiday season? What was the name of that fellow again?
Hell No, You Can't Go!
As noted by our compatriots at Power Line and Captain Quarters, Senator Mark Dayton's offer to accompany fellow Senate Armed Service Committee members to Iraq was met with a polite, but firm thanks, but no thanks: Sen. Mark Dayton wants to make a return trip to Iraq, but his request has been denied, the Minnesota Democrat said Wednesday. Dayton speculated that his request was denied by the Senate Armed Services Committee because he has criticized President Bush's handling of the war and because he's up for reelection in 2006. For a guy who was too spooked to spend time in Washington D.C. prior to the election, Dayton's insistence that he now has the 'nads to travel Iraq is probably viewed a bit skeptically by his Senate colleagues. Given Dayton's history of erratic and unstable behavior you can hardly blame them. Would you want to share a foxhole with Mark Dayton? And let's not forget that the Iraqis are preparing to hold historic elections that will hopefully set their country on the road toward a lasting democracy. Presenting Mark Dayton as an example of the fruits of such democracy may do more to set the effort back than anything that al-Zarqawi could dream up.
Clubbing It
This past evening, another massive marble milestone was marked in the tragicomedy that is my life. I took a gigantic leap and did something that would have been completely unimaginable to me just five short years ago...I made the commitment to join a health club. You see, I don't like exercising. I prefer the more recreational forms of self-induced suffering that don't involve having to stare at the bevy of sweaty backsides on the machines in front of me. I'd rather strap on the in-line skates and hit the trails for an hour or so. It gives me a good workout, gets me outside and, for the most part, gets me away from people...which is something that health clubs have in spades. Unfortunately, 'round about this time of year in Minnesota the trails have become utterly useless for anything other than cross country skiing and the only thing that could get me to strap a pair of skis on my feet again would be if I came across an unusually nimble St. Bernard with a cask full of Redbreast around his neck. That is, of course, assuming I couldn't skewer the little bastard with a ski pole first. Combine these seasonal limitations with the fact that on the printed report I just got back from my last physical the doctor underlined the word "exercise" about a dozen times and I knew something had to give. Come to think of it, he also told me to stop smoking and to cut down on the booze. I just love that man's sense of humor. Anyway, that's why I found myself accompanying the lovely Atomizerette on one of her thrice weekly jaunts to "The Club" last night and, I have to say, it wasn't an entirely distasteful experience. What was entirely distasteful was the experience I had in the men's locker room. I mean, really, would it kill you guys to put on a freakin' towel before you prance your way from the shower to the lockers? I expect a certain amount of nakedness in an area where men are showering and dressing but let's show a bit of decorum here. It's a locker room, not a Playgirl shoot. Drop the towel, pull up the shorts and move on. It's one thing to be comfortable with your own body. It's an entirely different thing to be wagging all the bits of your body around me when I'm trying to dig a pack of Camels and my hip flask out of the duffel bag. Next time...I think I'll bring a ski pole with me.
Wake Up
Mark writes in with this moment of clarity for the St. Paul Pioneer Press: Yesterday you wrote: "[I]f the Pioneer Press takes the bold step of publishing arts reviews that reflect the mainstream values of the majority of its readership, I've got two words for them: competitive advantage." What was it some wag said about Rupert Murdoch's FOX News? Something like "Murdoch spotted a niche market: half the country." Reportedly, that quote comes from none other than Charles Krauthammer. A Pulitzer Prize winner and a licensed psychiatrist. Between him and FL reader Mark (who often is under the care of a licensed psychiatrist), Pioneer Press, what other evidence do you need for a sharper turn right? And faster, please. 47.61% of us are waiting. Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Spirit of America Update: Now The Real Fun Begins
The pre-season is over. Let the real fundraising games begin. Today is the official kick off of the Spirit of America Friends of Iraq Blogger Challenge. We've already been heavily promoting this very worthy cause, and so far the Northern Alliance team has raised over $6000 (earlier tabulations that showed us with over $7K had to be corrected after Atomizer's check bounced). I suspect that some of the other teams have been sandbagging it before the challenge became official, and now they're going to come after us hard. We need to watch Castle Argghhh! Fighting Fusileers for Freedom! closely. They're no ordinary team! They're the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodents you ever set eyes on. Donate here. Next time use a credit card Atomizer.
We'll Point the Canon At You
The trend of the Pioneer Press toward a more conservative perspective has been noted, with pleasure, on several occasions recently. But, as of yet, it's only been apparent on the editorial page, with the fine work of the New Right Brothers, Yost and Westover. Which is why I was pleasantly surprised to see a couple of examples of a more culturally conservative perspective, in the Entertainment section of this past Sunday's Pioneer Press. First, this review of "Fall on Your Knees" a long-running, local, transvestite Christmas cabaret put on by some dude named Miss Richfield. The reviewer doesn't exactly present a Moral Majority-level critique of this bizarre holiday spectacle, but it's more critical than I remember seeing in the past: That's right, kids, Miss Richfield is back for her sixth straight year of lowbrow gay jokes and off-key caroling. And this year she adds a few wink-nudge racial slurs to the mix for good measure. If you've got a hankering for cheese-ball and crass humor, then this show could be your consummate guilty pleasure. But if you've had your fill of reality television and other lewd cultural artifacts, "Fall on Your Knees" is but a two-hour onslaught of predictable and potty-mouthed barroom buffoonery. It'd be a snooze if not for Miss Richfield's incessant shrieking, which keeps us alert. Traditionally, our mainstream arts press generally gives a breathless rave to just about anything celebrating deviant lifestyles. For some reason, they (or those who hire them) view offending the sensibilities of the majority of the circulation as a requirement of the position. To read this review calling a spade a spade (lowbrow, off key, crass, predictable buffoonery), despite its political agenda, it's very refreshing. Also these excerpts from a review of the Guthrie Theater's presentation of "A Christmas Carol": Director Gary Gisselman has made other changes that strengthen the production. This year's Ghost of Christmas Present, played by Stephen Pelinski, is once again the jovial, bearded giant originally suggested by Dickens -- a departure from recent versions featuring a worldly African-American woman in the role. The welcome result of all this is that the whole production feels more true to Dickens -- and the spirit of Christmas shines throughout. Trendy multiculturalism abandoned in favor of an historically accurate staging of a Western canon classic, and it's reviewed as a good thing - strengthening the production, it's a "welcome result," and the spirit of Christmas shines through? Well that sounds just about Right to me. It's too early to say for sure if this kind of commentary will be a regular feature. But if the Pioneer Press takes the bold step of publishing arts reviews that reflect the mainstream values of the majority of its readership, I've got two words for them: competitive advantage.
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TALK O' THE TOWN
Listen to the Northern Alliance Radio Network on Saturdays from 11am 'til 3pm on AM 1280-The Patriot:
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