It has been a full seven months since the lovely Atomizerette and I officially made Balsawood our home. In that time, I have learned the one immutable law of homeownership. It is never boring.
Whether it's having the gutter installers show up on the morning of our wedding, the furnace crapping out on Christmas day or the community of mice living in my garage (who I'm certain are holding secret midnight meetings under the wood pile in order to one day kill me in my sleep in retaliation for certain crimes against rodentia in my dark and distant past), there's always something to be concerned about.
Our current concern is the garbage disposal. Ever since we moved in, the flick of the disposal switch results in a cabinet rattling cacophony that never fails to remind me of Steve Buscemi's leg being fed into a woodchipper. I'm relatively certain this wasn't the case on the day of our pre-purchase inspection but who pays attention to such things while searching one's potential new home for deal breaking flaws like foundation cracks, roof leaks and evidence of ancient Indian burial grounds in the backyard.
Not only do we have to endure this femur-splitting noise every time we fire up the disposal but the sink flange is cracked to the point that every time the faucet is turned on a noticeable amount of water avoids being reunited with the city's water supply and ends up pooling up in the base cabinet below the sink. I have been trying to ignore this problem as best I can these past few months but the crack is now reaching terminal proportions and I fear the worst is soon to come. I'm not quite sure what the worst is, but I know I don't want to be here when it happens.
All signs now point to the need for a really stupid and futile gesture to be done on somebody's part, and that someone is me. This weekend I intend to try my hand at a home repair job that involves both plumbing and electricity. I fully expect to fail miserably and spend the majority of the weekend doing it. I also fervently hope I can survive the weekend with both home and body intact so that I'll be able to call a plumber (and only a plumber) on Monday and have the job done properly.
The only thing left now to do is buy the garbage disposal itself. I've got my eye on the 15hp KrushMastr 6000 with turbo powered stainless steel jam resistant dual swivel impellers. It should be the perfect tool for ridding Balsawood of those militant mice.