The Right Stuff
An update from an undisclosed location in the Arizona desert:
Rocket Team Vatsaas is pleased to announce than Astronaut Ralphie has safely arrived at the super-secret Project Red Ryder HQ in sunny Arizona. As can be seen from the photograph, Ralphie has been fitted with an Ego-Adaptive helmet, as all attempts at self-deprecation therapy have failed.
Unfortunately for Ralphie, his Ego-Adaptive Helmet is too big to fit into the Corinthian leather-lined custom-built astronaut cabin (complete with mini-bar and wireless internet access, and big screen TV broadcasting the 24-hr figure skating channel), so Ralphie will be riding instead in the main parachute compartment of the launch vehicle. This means that Ralphie will have to sky-dive for the final leg of the descent, a whopping 1,000 feet above the desert surface! With luck, his parachute will open as planned, sparing him a high speed plummet to the cactus strewn landscape.
We have also received positive news from our rocket motor fabricator that our specially designed solid fuel power-plant will be ready on time. We are confident there will be not NASA style delays for Project Red Ryder.
Over the next five weeks Ralphie will face a regimen of grueling mental and physical training as he prepares for his late-February launch. Does he have what it takes to boldly go where no bobble head has gone before? Will his Dockers remain wrinkle free in zero gravity? Will Hugh broadcast live from the launch site as has been rumored? Stay tuned for regular updates on the race to prepare Ralphie for space. The countdown's on.