Rocky Mountain Sigh
Apparently it doesn't take much to raise the fur on the back on your typical Coloradan (especially the women), as evidenced by the reaction to this post from last week. From the e-mails I received you would have thought that I had insulted the memory of one their great cultural icons like John Denver rather than merely laying down a little competitive challenge. Barbara from Girl in Right got it started:
Give me some time pull up the carpet, lay down some plastic, hide the valuables, and rent some portable oxygen tanks. Then I'll be ready to host the first annual Col/Minnie Blogger Skiing Challenge kickoff party.
Tree huggers, indeed.
It continues with Mark:
The nerve of you people! Granola munchin'? The only people I see munchin granola nowadays are Minnesota transplants (see: interlopers) pale and etiolated, and their make-up-less girlfirends (and they really need make-up).
And what has the almost Great White North produced? Hubert Humphrey? Democrat Farmer-Laborers? Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Okay, that's something good). This from a person from a place whose pro-football team has not been to the Super Bowl since 1977 (and this after losing four of them), despite having a 15-1 record in '98? The Gophers? Laughingstock of the Big Ten. The Twins? Beat the Cardinals in the series ('87) because of the idiocy of the A.L.s "designated hitter" and that accursed domed stadium (ditto the Braves in '91).
Tree-huggin? Again, Minnesota interlopers. We Coloradans are honest, decent, hard-working and God-fearing people who must accept the enviro-fruitcakes that the Upper Midwest and the Northeast can send us (and yes, the Upper-Midwest is second only to the Northeast as the center of degeneracy in this fair land of ours).
You challenge us? To what? A Ludefisk-eating contest? That is the only competition in which I can see the MOB prevailing. "Beware the Family"...what family? The Svensons, Larsens, Olsons, Soderquists, Venturas?
Hugh Hewitt was right!
Wheat Ridge, Colorado
A. You dare talk baseball trash with a team like the Rockies?
B. It's Lutefisk not Ludefisk.
C. Saying "Hugh Hewitt was right! pretty much destroys all credibility right there.
D. How can a guy who lives in a place called "Wheat Ridge" give anyone crap? The dirty little secret of Colorado is that although the state is best know for the Rockies (they're real and they're spectacular), damn near half of it is nothing more than West Kansas (or Southwest Nebraska).
Paul sends a more cautionary note:
As a Colorado resident I am not going to take disrespect from some Jerry Lundergardens from the People's Republic of Minnesota. After all a state that gave us Jesse "The Speedo" Ventura and Mark "Sir Robin" Dayton. Hold on we gave you Dianne DeGette, Ward Churchill and Ken "Billy Jack" Salazar, never mind. Oh how you guys rip on poor Hugh, I would hate to piss you guys off.
And then there's the Rocky Mountain Alliance of Blogs. Regarded as the weak sister, the red headed step child, the crazy aunt in the cellar among formal blog alliances. Their experience is negligible, their allegiance is suspect, and their will to fight questionable. If true hostilities were ever to break out, they would all likely bugger off and we'd be forced to cover their part of the line with one of our own. SPITBULL would be roughly about the equivalent of the entire RMA.
Scattered elements of the RMA have responded to my challenge with a weak volley of personal attacks that have landed far short of their intended target. Shots have been heard from:
They now appear to have exhausted their ammo and are rumored to be knitting a surrender flag. Normally, I would have responded with a round or two of counter-battery fire, but at this point, mercy seems to be in order.