Monday, July 25, 2005

Book Burnin'

Blake e-mails with another tale of bakin' on the clock:

I worked with a guy like Larry, only he was a fellow Librarian Assistant in the Fresno County Library in Fresno, CA. He had been a Religious Studies major at CSU Fresno, and now he was a professional info-hack. Although he always claimed to be a Mormon (and swore off of coffee), he was a prodigious user of cannabis, defending himself by saying that the Prophets had counseled using "the good herbs" for natural medicine, and since he only used "the best" he felt it fit under that category. In between that, he spent his time reading works by prominent Rosicrucians, selected works of Alistair Crowley, Swedenborg's Heaven and Hell, and surfing various Raelian [sic?] websites. He wanted me to accompany him to a peyote ranch in NM for a "spirit walk" a la Casteneda, but I demurred. He did prevail upon me to try one of his "award-winning" brownies, however. This was my first experience with cannabis, and as my system is hypersensitive/reactive to medications the results were, shall we say, "enlightening?" The brownie was a rather large square and I ate the whole thing at a sitting. Like you, nothing happened at first and I thought, "What the hell...?" Then, of course, the skin of my arms starting projecting outwards in three-dimensional cubes, like some damn Escher drawing, and the universe took on a rather intriguing 50-degree slant. I won't bother you with further details, but this particular dessert treat made for an interesting evening. The next day, he was greatly amused. "You weren't supposed to eat the whole thing! I make them really potent, and you were only supposed to try about a quarter of it. Hell, no wonder you were hallucinating...you ate about 6 "servings" of weed."

Many times over the next year he brought his desserts to work and suggested I join him, claiming that it even made our standard inner-city porn-viewing homeless derelict patrons amusing. I never did, though; its hard to run InfoTrac searches with armpits and fingers designed by Salvador Dali, you know?

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