Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Cape Sicko

I see Michael Moore and CNN have been feudin' and fussin' over the alleged inaccuracies of the network's report about Moore's film Sicko. Can't say I watched the CNN report in question. Or Sicko, for that matter (only an authentic sicko would subject himself to both), so I cannot take sides in this dispute.

Precedent suggests Moore's latest movie is cheap, manipulative propaganda. But I wouldn't be surprised if CNN also botched their report. As the long running "This Week in Gatekeeping" segment on NARN demonstrates each and every week, there is commonly a shortage of accuracy and a surplus of lazy reporting in news reports from Big Media like CNN.

So what happens what a cheap manipulative movie gets subjected to a lazy, inaccurate critical review? Maybe it's like grammar with a double negative and something extremely awkward but ultimately positive comes out in the end.

I'd say that's a fair characterization of Moore's latest threat letter to CNN. With both of these heroes of the left butting heads, it will be harder for each to, say, continue eroding America's will to win its wars, at least for the time being.

I must say, the tone of Moore's letter to CNN exceeds even the hatred he's directed to people like George Bush and General Motors. Reading through it, it reminds me of only one thing, which leads us to this psychotic stalker rhetoric separated at birth:

Michael Moore and his letter to CNN


Robert DeNiro as Max Cady in Cape Fear.


Moore: Dear CNN, Well, the week is over -- and still no apology, no retraction, no correction of your glaring mistakes. I bet you thought my dust-up with Wolf Blitzer was just a cool ratings coup, that you really wouldn't have to correct the false statements you made about "Sicko." I bet you thought I was just going to go quietly away.

Cady: You think a couple whacks to my guts is gonna get me down? It's gonna take a hell of a lot more than that, Counselor.


Moore: Think again. I'm about to become your worst nightmare. 'Cause I ain't ever going away.

Cady: I'm thinkin' of settlin' here in New Essex, Counselor. It's a small town. Everywhere you turn, we're gonna run into each other.


Moore: After what the public saw with your report on "Sicko," and how many inaccuracies that report contained, how can anyone believe anything you say on your network? In the old days, before the Internet, you could get away with it. Your victims had no way to set the record straight, to show the viewers how you had misrepresented the truth. But now, we can post the truth -- and back it up with evidence and facts -- on the web, for all to see.

Cady: It's not necessary to lay a foul tongue on me, my friend. I could get upset. Things could get outta hand. And then in self-defense, I could do somethin' to you that you would not like.


Moore: I won't waste your time rehashing your errors. You know what they are. What I want to do is help you come clean. Admit you were wrong. What is the shame in that? We all make mistakes. I know it's hard to admit it when you've screwed up, but it's also liberating and cathartic.

Cady: I don't hate him at all. Oh, no, I pray for him. I'm here to help him. I mean, we all make mistakes, Danielle. You and I have. At least we try to admit it. But your daddy, he don't.


Moore: And now, for 5 days, I have posted on my website, for all to see, every mistake and error he made. You, on the other hand, in the face of this overwhelming evidence and a huge public backlash, have chosen to remain silent, probably praying and hoping this will all go away. Well it isn't.

Cady: I'm better than you all! I can outlearn you! I can out-read you! I can outthink you! And I can out-philosophize you! And I'm gonna outlast you!


Cady: I find you guilty, Counselor! Guilty of betraying your fellow man! Guilty of betraying your country and abrogatin' your oath! Guilty of judging me and selling me out! With the power vested in me by the kingdom of God, I sentence you to the 7th Circle of hell! Now you will learn about loss! You're gonna learn to be an animal! To live like one and die like one.

Moore: I find you guilty CNN! Guilty of betraying your fellow traveler! Guilty of betraying the anti-Capitalist cause and abrogating your oath! You're gonna learn to be an animal, Wolf Blitzer! To live and die like one!


OK, I made up that last Moore quote. But I wouldn't be surprised to see it in the next letter from the corpulent auteur. And if he starts tattooing Bible verses on his back, and broken hearts on his chest, CNN may want to think twice about renting any houseboats for a staff retreat.


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