My biggest frustration with air travel is not the overall time that it takes to get through the process from entering the airport door to being seated on your plane. Nor is it typically the queue time at any particular step in said process. No, what tries my patience (and sanity) is the number of steps involved.

Despite a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth from travelers, the US process is actually not that bad in this regard. E-ticketing, internet check-in, and self-service kiosks have greatly reduced the amount of time (and hassle) that it takes to get checked in. Security can be (and often is) a nightmare. But once you get past security at a US airport, you're usually home free. Some airlines still require a passport check at the gate for international flights. In most cases though, all that remains to be done is present your pass and board the aircraft. Psychologically, it's fairly easy to handle this three step process.

Compare that to boarding an international flight at Shanghai's Pudong International Airport:

- Check in: Not that bad although your checked luggage is hand-searched before your actually check in which can add time and another mini-step to the process.

- Customs clearance: A form must be filled out and then you wait in line to hand it to an inspector and put your carry-on through a customs x-ray machine.

- Immigration: Another form must be filled out and you again queue up to wait your turn. This turned out to be the biggest bottle-neck in the process.

- Security: The immigration bottle-neck actually reduces the passenger flow to a trickle so security lines are not long. And you get to keep your shoes on which is always a plus.

Clear sailing now, right? Wrong.

I've now flown out of Shanghai three times and the boarding process is always messy. On this particular flight, they take your boarding pass at the top of an escalator and flight of stairs which lead to the gate. There are allegedly two separate (and not equal) lines for Business Class and Economy, but it's not clear which is which and where one begins or ends. Invariably people get in the wrong lines or ignorantly believe they can cut in front because THEY'RE in Business Class. Guess what a-hole? So am I. Now get to the back of the line.

Okay, but once you've handed over your boarding pass it's smooth sailing, right? Again wrong.

You get to the bottom of the stairs and find yet another line, this time to have ANOTHER security person hand search your carry-on bags on the jet way. But the fun's not over yet. Just in case someone somehow slipped through the gauntlet there are MORE security people waiting check your boarding pass and passport. That's right, TWO MORE STEPS to get through when you're so close to the plane (and your seat) that you can almost touch it.

By this time, even the most fanatically devoted Jihad Joe type would have found his spirit broken and no will to do anything other than collapse in his seat in defeated resignation. Screw slaying the infidels, martyrdom, and that whole seventy-two virgins thing. Get me a double Scotch.

To recap. Steps in the US:
1. Check in
2. Security
3. Boarding

Steps in Shanghai
1. Check in
2. Customs
3. Immigration
4. Security
5. Boarding
6. Jet way carry-on security search
7. Jet way boarding pass and passport check

Is there a method in their apparent madness?

Labels: Travel

Posted by Chad The Elder--Link