Our cringe-worthy corporate concept of the week comes courtesy of Saturday's Wall Street Journal in a story called, Burger King Whopper To Be Feted (sub req):

MIAMI -- Burger King Holdings Inc. plans to start building a new version of its restaurants this year called the Whopper Bar that will sell a wider variety of its signature hamburger in a hipper setting.

The menu and size of the Whopper Bars will be smaller than a typical Burger King, but they will sell Whoppers not typically available at all times in the chain's traditional restaurants. Executives say they haven't finalized the menu, though it could include as many as 10 types of Whoppers, such as the Western Whopper, the Texas Double Whopper and the Angry Whopper, a version topped with spicy onions. One menu sketch has a section called "Pimp Your Whopper," where patrons can chose from additional toppings like jalapeno peppers, bacon and barbecue sauce.

"Hey dad, can we go to Burger King for lunch? They have SpongeBob toys!"

"Sure son, it's been a while since I've pimped my Whopper."

"What does 'pimped' mean, dad?"

"Well son, a pimp is someone who brokers the sexual favors of women for profits. Pimps are sort of underclass heroes. And since our society glorifies anything--no matter how crass, vulgar, demeaning, and damaging--that claims to be 'real,' pimps and the hoes they hustle have become an acceptable part of of our common cultural conversation. In this case, 'pimped' means to be way tight and decked out in expensive stuff as only someone living the pimp lifestyle would expect to be."

"Wow dad, that sounds cool. Can I be a pimp when I grow up?"

"You can be anything you want to be son. Now let's find your mother and sister and get us some lunch. I wonder where them hoes at anyway? Ha ha ha..."

Labels: Business

Posted by Chad The Elder--Link