Saturday, May 24, 2008

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Defrost the Freezer

As we eagerly await tomorrow's world premiere of Shark Swarm! on the Hallmark Channel, word reaches us from Canada that enviro-horror films may be the next big thing coming out of Hollywood:

Anagram Pictures will be shooting The Thaw, which features super-celebrity Val Kilmer, from Batman Forever, the Salton Sea, Top Gun and many other motion pictures.

The Thaw is about a young woman who heads to the Arctic with a group of students on a research mission, headed by Dr. Kruipen (Kilmer). The students discover that a melting polar ice-cap has released a deadly prehistoric parasite on the world after the remains of a wooly mammoth are released from the ice and thawed. The students must then find a way to save the rest of the world from the deadly parasite before it reaches the rest of civilization and causes a potentially global epidemic catastrophe.

"It's a wooly mammoth that's been preserved in a polar ice-cap. Global warming is causing the polar ice-cap to melt," says co-producer Mary Anne Waterhouse.

A polar bear then starts eating the mammoth's remains, becoming infected with the deadly parasite.


If only the US Department of the Interior wouldn't have barged in to prevent us from exterminating those white devils once and for all, we'd be safe from the prehistoric parasite menace! Thanks a lot, Al Gore.

(Via Tim Blair, at his new location.)

UPDATE: Chad P. finds a potentially fatal plot flaw in The Thaw:

Observation:

What stood out was the idea of a wooly mammoth frozen in the "polar" ice cap.

"The students discover that a melting polar ice-cap has released a deadly prehistoric parasite on the world after the remains of a wooly mammoth are released from the ice and thawed."


How and why did a warm blooded "plant" eating mammal end up at the polar ice cap? pretty strange, don't ya think? Did it pack a vegan lunch on it's detour to the wilds of .... pure ice!


I cannot answer that. I'm hoping this issue will be addressed in the sequel: The Thaw II: Flash Freeze.

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