Monday, August 11, 2008

Leave The Preachin' To Him, The Practicin' To Us

At some point in the future we may well look back on 2008 as--to quote Churchill--"the end of the beginning" of global warming hysteria. In addition to all the contradictory scientific evidence that has emerged this year, we are also seeing leading proponents of the anthropogenic warming theory appear increasingly hypocritical in practice even as their rhetoric becomes increasingly shrill, illogical, and fear-based.

The latest such example is the revelation that Al Gore himself is tooling around in a massive new houseboat:

And now, in order to complete his hypocrisy trifecta, Al Gore may now be extending his excessive consumption to the water as well. In an amazing display of conspicuous consumption, even for Al Gore, his new 100-foot houseboat that docks at the Hurricane Marina in Smithville, Tennessee is creating a critical buzz among many of his former congressional constituents. Dubbed "Bio-Solar One," which may reflect some latent Air Force One envy, Gore has proudly strutted the small-town dock claiming that his monstrous houseboat is environmentally friendly. (Only Al Gore would name his boat B.S. One and not get the joke. Or perhaps the joke is on us?)

The houseboat's maker is attempting to defend its carbon footprint:

"This boat is going to be the Toyota Prius of the houseboat business," Austin proclaims. "It is the most eco-friendly houseboat anywhere in the country and is going to revolutionize the houseboat industry."

Saying that this is the most eco-friendly houseboat ever made is like saying this is the most family friendly gang bang porno ever shot. At the end of the day, it's still obscene.

But it wasn't the houseboat itself that has really sunk Gore's credibility on the issue. It was this picture. Dude's got a jet ski.

A jet ski. Think about it. Is there anything less necessary, more superfluous and a better symbol of meaningless energy consumption than a jet ski? NO ONE needs a jet ski. If tomorrow there was to be some sort of divine water craft rapture and every jet ski in the world suddenly disappeared, the human race would not be impacted in any negative way whatsoever.

The only reason to have a jet ski is to have fun. Now, I'm all for having fun and am no way saying that jet ski owners should be deprived of that opportunity. But if the fate of the planet REALLY is in the balance, if the future of mankind REALLY hinges on our willingness to move away from carbon based energy, and if we REALLY only have ten years left to make a difference, don't you think that maybe, just maybe Al might have had second thoughts about picking up a jet ski?

You can see how people could excuse Gore for the immense carbon footprint he generates by jet setting around the globe to attend conferences or keeping his limo idling while he's making appearances so he won't have to sweat the ride. After all, that's all part of serving the greater cause. But a jet ski?

From this point forward, I won't be able to listen to anything Gore says about global warming without having an image of his jet ski pop up in my head.

So when he says:

We are facing a global climate crisis. It is deepening. We are entering a period of consequences.

I'll think, "Dude, you have a jet ski."


But we should not wait, we cannot wait, we must not wait.

Dude, you have a jet ski.

We should feel a great sense of urgency because it is the most dangerous crisis we have ever faced, by far.

Dude, you have a jet ski.

If we did not take action to solve this crisis, it could indeed threaten the future of human civilization.

Dude, you have a jet ski.

The leading experts predict that we have less than 10 years to make dramatic changes in our global warming pollution lest we lose our ability to ever recover from this environmental crisis.

Dude, you have a jet ski.

I drive a hybrid. Tipper and I got a Lexus hybrid. And we have a couple of Priuses in the family with our children. And I encourage people to make environmentally conscious choices because we all have to solve this climate crisis.

DUDE, you have a frickin' JET SKI! Are we to seriously believe that when it came down to an "environmentally conscious choice" between saving the planet and having a jet ski, you went with the jet ski but yet we're still supposed to heed your advice anyway? Dude...

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