1) Popular, Inc. $935 million
Trying WAY too hard with that name. If they were really so beloved, would they need nearly a BILLION tax dollars in relief? Plus there's this, from their Wikipedia entry:
During the 1970s, the company's commercials were very popular on Puerto Rican television: they presented a balding, middle aged man in a white tee shirt, announcing the company in a comic way.2) Umpqua $214.4 million
Too guttural. Sounds like pig Latin for something obscene.
3) Old Second Bancorp $73 million
We're chronic losers, and we're proud of it!
4) Flushing Financial Corp. $70 million
Whoosh! Your investments straight down the terlet.
5) Beach Business Bank $6 million
I'm surprised a bank specializing in financing sunglasses, inflatable rafts, and tiny buckets and shovels only needs $6 million to survive.
6) Crazy Woman Creek Bancorp $3.1 million
Hey, Nancy Pelosi started a bank. Even with that name, it sounds like a more attractive investment than bailing out GM.