Monday, August 31, 2009

Man Up

Men of America. It has come to my attention that in the pursuit of the goal of being manly, some of you have taken a detour off the proper path. For in your attempts to demonstrate your supposed manliness, you are in fact emulating some of the same activities that women often engage in. Yes, the irony is indeed quite rich.

Now, there is nothing wrong with women doing these things. They are naturally inclined to such activities as we are naturally inclined to not understand their appeal. Remember, women are different from us and that's why we love them so.

So I call on you immediately cease and desist with any and all of the following:

- Using the expression "guys night out."

- Organizing, attending, or having anything in any way to do with anything called a "Guy Expo."

- Using the term "ManCave" under any circumstance. You have a basement. You have a garage. Maybe you even have a den. You however do not have a "ManCave."

- Organizing, attending, or having anything to do with anything called a "ManCave Party."

The idea of what it means to be a man has already been wussified and dangerously watered down in our increasingly feminized society. We as men don't need to do more to tarnish the masculine brand by engaging in such demeaning actions. Leave the overly planned socialization and group shopping to the gals. Your support in this matter is most appreciated.