Friday, August 28, 2009

Spreading It Around

And the award for smug, sanctimonious environmental piety of the day goes to Larry Johnson of Golden Valley:

Larry Johnson of Golden Valley will present "Sing Along With Your Compost Pile" at 9:30 a.m. Friday, Aug. 28, and at 6 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 29, on the Sustainability Stage in the Eco-Experience near Machinery Hill at the Minnesota State Fair.

Reserve your space early folks. This has standing room only written all over it.

The show will include an opportunity to sing along with Tyler, the world famous earthworm, and to hear music Johnson plays on a French Shoe Horn, Heavy Metal Recycled Water Faucet and "other instruments that would otherwise be languishing in the landfill," according to Johnson.

A retired storyteller and video teacher in the Minneapolis Schools, Johnson, 63, is self-employed and conducts storytelling residencies through Key of See Storytellers.

According to Johnson, he has been gardening, composting, walking, preserving wetlands and reusing non-compostables since the age of 4. He said he's been teaching about those things since the 1960s.

Since the age of FOUR?!?!? I happen to currently have a four-year-old at home and can say with certainty that while he has the walking thing down, he's yet to garden, compost, preserve wetlands, or reuse non-compostables. Something smells of natural fertilizer here and it ain't just Larry's compost pile.

UPDATE-- Tom e-mails to clarify:

I think the story that he started composting at four is probably true. If you remember, most studies of homelessness consider someone to be technically homeless if they crash on a friend or relatives couch for a few days while their regular residence is being remodeled or repaired. By this logic--he was technically composting at age four if he, er, dropped a deuce in the woods rather than come inside to do it. See, when anything can be technically true, the world is a much easier place to get away with being a charlatan.

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