Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Dream Police

Yesterday Chad the Elder shared the details of his bizarre dream, aimlessly driving around in the woods with Vox Day until they hydroplaned into a lake and presumably drowned.

It was quite a mix of symbolism and revealed subconscious needs and anxieties. What could it all mean? Based on some undergraduate psychology courses, years of watching the old Bob Newhart show, and decades of observing Chad interact with society, my initial diagnosis was obvious: latent homosexuality.

Before offering medication and treatment options, I did what any good Internet psychotherapist does and sought a second opinion. For that there is nothing better than the number one Internet site for dream analysis (at least it comes up first on Google), Dream Moods.

Using their Dream Dictonary, let's break down Chad's dream piece by piece:

Last night, I dreamt that I was riding in a car being driven by Vox Day.

To dream that someone else is driving you, represents your dependence on the driver. You are not in control of your life and following the goals of others instead of your own.

Not sure exactly where we were going or why, but there was a vague sense that we were late for a meeting of some sort.

To dream that you are late or miss a meeting, signifies anxieties that you are not measuring when it comes to your professional life and toward achieving your goals. You may feel unprepared in some situation or challenge in your waking life.

We turned down a dirt road ...

Dirt is representative of situations where you have been less than honorable and may have acted in a devious manner.

... into a wooded area ...

To see the woods in your dream, represents life, fertility, rejuvenation, and spring. Alternatively, it symbolizes the unknown and unconscious. You may be discovering your instinctual nature.

... when suddenly we drove into a lake. I don't mean we stuck the nose of the car in either. We literally drove out into the lake, although for a time we managed to keep going--almost like a snowmobile skipping over the surface--before the car started sinking beneath the waves.

To dream that you are underwater, suggests that you are feeling overcome with emotions and are in need of greater control in your life. You may be in over your head regarding some situation.

Well that clears up that up! Clearly Chad feels his work hear at Fraters Libertas is not measuring up. He wishes he were as prolific and provocative as Vox Day. Yet he fears following that path may be dishonor his family. Yet, at the same time, it would represent a rejuvenation of his instinctual nature. However, a rebirth that would lead into an uncontrollable downward spiral that ends with him joining the Greater Carver County Snowmobile Watercross Racing Series.

Either that or Chad had some bad clams for lunch. As Freud once said, sometimes a car ride with Vox Day into a lake is just a car ride with Vox Day into a lake.

Now if someone could just help me with the dream I had last night.

I was heading down Snelling Avenue, riding on the shoulders of Medusa, swinging a row boat paddle, and singing "Oh Canada". We were headed into a kosher pickle cannery when I suddenly remembered that I was late for my final chemistry exam across town! A class I hadn't attended all semester!

I quickly jumped into a pink taxi cab and noticed it was driven by Woodrow Wilson. However it turns out he was blind and he didn't speak English, so I couldn't tell him where to go! We kept driving around and around until it got dark out, with my panic increasing all the while. Just then I saw the building I needed to go to. There might be time to take the test! At which point Woodrow floored it and we sailed into a gigantic chasm. The last words I heard him screaming were "you're all wee-wee'd up Jim" and then I woke up.

My guess is that this has something to do with the Twins getting swept by the Yankees.

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