Dear President Obama-
Just wanted to drop you a note and thank you for everything. As you know, last January we were in pretty rough shape. Our obituary was being written and some were ready to dump our corpse on the dead cart. Now, thanks to your arrogance, overreach, and utter disdain for any notion of compromise, we're feeling much better.
Let's be honest here. Had you actually lived up to your campaign promises to move beyond partisan politics and bring the country together for common purposes, you probably could have buried us for a good while. Most of the country was willing to believe and gave you the chance to practice what you had preached. Again, we're thankful that you chose to follow a different path.
More honesty requires us to admit that we really haven't done much to deserve this kindness either. Most of are leaders are still clueless about the growing backlash that you've unleashed and what they should do about it. Heck, some of them are still playing the moderate game without really understanding the last thing the American public is looking for right is squishiness.
We hope it's not too much to ask that you continue to help us down this road to recovery for oh...about the next three-hundred-sixty-five days or so. Keep trying to ram those unpopular health care and cap and trade bills through Congress and by this time next year we'll be the picture of health. In fact, you probably won't even recognize us anymore.
Yours in eternal gratitude,
The Republican Party