Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Heavy Hitter

Not sure how I missed out hearing about this legendary tale previously. Yesterday, I heard a couple of local sports talk yokels discussing it and was surprised that I hadn't come across it before. Today, I found more information on it and confirmation that it deserves proper recognition:

When one thinks of heroism, several attributes come to mind. Bravery. Courage. Strength. A kick-ass beard. The ability to drink 764 ounces of beer in a seven-hour span. Wade Boggs exemplifies these characteristics and more, and is our choice as our first American Hero.

Okay, let's get it out of the way: The dude could drink. A lot. According to numerous credible sources (namely, urban legends), Boggs would go out on the town and regularly drink anywhere between 30 and 70 Miller Lites. In one of the most widely circulated Boggs tales, Wade drank 64 Miller Lites on a cross-country flight (either New York to Seattle, or Boston to LA, depending on the report)

The post goes on to note that Boggs himself denies that he drank sixty-four beers on his cross country bender and reports from other sources on the exact number of beers consumed are mixed. But even if he only drank say forty-six beers, it would still be a prodigious feat of consumption. Perhaps even more impressive than Boggs' ability to hold liquor was his ability to control his bladder. That's a lot of water to take in.

These days my drinking pursuit are far more focused on quality rather than quantity. But even back in the heyday of my indulging in copious amounts of rotgut booze and swill labeled as beer, I never was very concerned with my stats. If asked how many beers I had last night, I would have likely answered "Enough to get the job done." And on many nights, I would frankly have had no idea exactly how many beers or drinks passed my lips. It's notoriously difficult to track your intake when at a keg party or sharing a pitcher at a bar. Your cup or glass would never ever fully get empty before being refilled.

If I had to cite a particular number as my personal high water mark, it would be twenty-one beers in one evening. This is solely based on simple deductions. I bought a case (24 cans) of beer to drink. The next day, I had three cans remaining. Ergo I drank twenty-one beers. This doesn't take into account partially drunk cans that were misplaced during the evening's festivities (anyone who's ever cleaned up after a party can confirm how frequently that occurs) or the possibility that one of my roommates may have poached a beer or two. But in the absence of any hard evidence to the contrary, I'll stick with my mark of twenty-one beers downed. Not bad, but in Wade Boggs' big league drinking world, I'd be playing single A at best.