Saturday, May 15, 2010

Coast Guard?

This picture appeared in today's Wall Street Journal.
With the caption:

Workers Friday on Dauphin Island, Ala., watch for oil from the Gulf spill. Meanwhile, President Obama ripped the industry, and other drilling plans face deeper scrutiny. The spill has stunted the Gulf's tourism, creating a drag on the region's economic recovery.

A couple of things merit comment.

First, none of these workers appear to be "watching for oil" unless you count the tanning lotion on the bikini-clad sunbather. Uh guys, the ocean's that way.

Secondly, where did they dig these characters up from anyway?

Start with the gent on the far left, who looks like VJ Singh approaching the 18th green. Hard hats are apparently optional.

Next we have Chaz, who's proudly claims the title of "best dressed oil cleanup worker in the country." C'mon Chaz, we gotta hit the beach. Hang on, I just need to finish buttoning up my blue dress shirt.

Next to him, with head hung low is the runt of the litter. After repeated attempts to ditch him failed, they finally agreed to allow him to come along on the condition that they duct tape his mouth shut.

Then there's the self-proclaimed "playa" of the crew. This Camaro-driving, Member's Only jacket-wearing ladies man goes by the moniker "Z-man." You can easily identify him by his hard hat, even though he drew the "Z" when he was looking at himself in the mirror.

Finally, there's Gilbert. He grew up watching "Crocodile Dundee" and Steve Irwin videos and one day he's going to live in the Outback and wrassle crocs himself. Until then, he working a part-time gig for the Alabama Department of Conservation and Natural Resources.

Fear not people of Alabama, your coast is being safely guarded.