Saturday, September 25, 2010

Sacha Baron Cohen, Call Your Agent

The big news in Congress last week was the testimony of comedian Stephen Colbert before a subcommittee of the United States House of Representatives.

This is an outrage. It is typical of the ineptitude of the Democrat controlled Congress that they would invite an idiotic hack like Colbert to testify, while denying America the brilliance that is: Sacha Baron Cohen.

Unlike Colbert, who has only a single lame character, Sacha Baron Cohen has no fewer than three. In a single day, Cohen could testify before three different congressional subcommittees in three different characters. Finally, C-SPAN would become must-see-TV!

Ali G
Testifying before the Senate Environment and Public Works subcommittee on Children’s Health, the rapper from the mean streets of London’s West End would testify on the possible adverse effects on children of the heavy metal in his bling. But the real reason Ali G is testifying before this subcommittee: Chairwoman Amy Klobuchar. The dream team union of Ali G and the funniest member of the United States Senate is guaranteed comedy platinum! After discussing Ali’s bling, they could banter back and forth on Twilight.

Then after a quick wardrobe change, Borat would dash across the Capitol to testify before the House Foreign Relations subcommittee on Africa and Global Health. Borat would swear under oath that Kazakhstan is in Africa and threaten to denounce the subcommittee as racist unless it arranged a visit by Bono. Through a hilarious series of misunderstandings, Congresswoman Mary Bono would be sent to visit Botswana.

Finally, Bruno would testify before the Senate Armed Services subcommittee on Personnel in favor of ending “don’t ask, don’t tell”. Senator Al Franken, in character as Stuart Smalley, would … er, do whatever bit it was that Stuart Smalley did. Probably not very funny, but after Klobuchar, you rapidly run out of humor options in the United States Senate.