Friday, February 07, 2014

Minnesota Ice

Apparently the gridlocked rush hour highways of the Twin Cities didn’t have enough actual carnage this week as the highway warning signage, instead of informing us of specific incidents to avoid, treated us commuters to this demand every few miles:

I suppose that’s reasonable advice for a sub-zero morning with the creeping menace of black ice encroaching from all sides of the road.  But something about the tone just doesn’t sit right with me.  Slow down!  Call me a free thinking, tea drinking anarchist, but I don’t especially like seeing anonymous, angry dictates flashed in my face from the government while I’m driving.  I’m not even sure who this command is from, the state Patrol?  The Governor?  Some crypto fascist dweeb clerk typist at MNDOT?  Short of maybe State Senator Carly Melin, I ain’t in the mood to take orders of any of ya!

Minnesota state government, how about you consider the fact you’re not our masters and offer the advice of slowing down as a polite suggestion?   In the words of Vincent Vega, a “please” would be nice.  It would be Minnesota nice, as a matter of fact.  And you aren't Mr. Wolf, so don't even start with the "get it straight buster, I'm here to tell you what to do" rap.    

And by the way, MNDOT, your hang up with black ice?  We know what you're really getting at, so maybe you better slow down.