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"I am Patrick, a sinner, most uncultivated and least of all the faithful and despised in the eyes of many." -Saint Patrick |
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Thursday, March 18, 2010
The announcement that King Banaian has thrown his hat into the ring and officially entered the race for Minnesota House District 15B has the crack marketing staff here at Fraters Libertas world headquarters scrambling to come up with ways to help his campaign. Brains are being stormed, ideas are being run up flagpoles, stories are being boarded, and, in scenes right out of "Mad Men," copious amounts of cigarettes and Scotch are being consumed by well-coiffed, nattily-attired gentlemen. Well, at least the cigarettes and Scotch part is accurate.
Those of you in the same demographic cohort as King probably remember Eugene McCarthy's primary campaign for president in 1968 and the memorable tagline that his youthful volunteers adopted Getting Clean for Gene: In addition to its "bring the troops home now" message, the McCarthy campaign also introduced new tactics into campaigning, ranging from its reliance on a core group of ideologically-motivated funders--presaging George Soros--door-to-door canvassers brought in from out of town, and, perhaps most memorably, a tactic which its young volunteers adopted known as "Clean for Gene." Viewed most simply, it involved long haired New Left types getting haircuts, before hitting the streets of Concord and Manchester. Operating under the premise that there's really nothing new under the sun (and because we're far too drunk, lazy, and stupid to come up with anything original), we've decided to * Searching Bing for King * Willing to sing for King * Wearing bling for King * Taking wing for King (a little abstract) * Making a zing for King * Having a fling for King (this one has proved very popular with focus groups so far) We hope to have this list pared down and a finalist green-lighted before March Madness kicks off later today, because after that no one is going to be doing any real work around here anyway. We're also been throwing some ideas for TV/radio spots at the wall and the only one that's really sticking so far is also a (Begin with King's voice) Because you need me, Stearns County. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a King. That's why I'm doing this: to protect you from yourselves. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a house district to run. (Fade out with "Every Man A King") UPDATE: We've received a deluge of e-mails with more suggestions. Beth from Golden Valley offers: Banging Sting for King. That doesn't seem particularly appropriate or germane to this topic, now does it? T. Swift from St. Paul chimes in with: Taking a swing for King. Strictly in the metaphorical sense of course. Desperate Hausfrau from Waite Park suggests: Taking off my ring for King. Hey now... Finally, Atomizer from Eagan volunteers: Drinking Coldspring for King. Not exactly keeping with the spirit of sacrifice intended, but I guess we all have our part to play. Labels: 2010 Election, Politics-Local (10-11) Friday, November 06, 2009
(Begin with black screen and somber music in background. Scroll the following in bold white text.)
U.S. unemployment rate in January 2007 when Democrats assumed control of Congress? 4.6% U.S. unemployment rate in October 2009? 10.2% According to a recent CNN poll, percentage of Americans who believe the economy is the MOST important issue facing the country? 47% Percentage who believe that health care is? 17% The response of Democrats in Congress in the face of these numbers? Trying to rush a health care bill through Congress that would in all likelihood make it harder for companies to create new jobs. ***** There's your generic Republican House candidate campaign ad for 2010. Modify it as circumstances warrant and run that baby hard and heavy. Maybe do another one with the federal budget deficit data. Just be sure to get the numbers out there and keep the focus on them. Labels: 2010 Election Wednesday, August 26, 2009
From the Heritage Foundation, staggering facts about the size of the federal government's budget deficit. Excerpts:
Rather demoralizing proof that we as a nation are tapped out. We've already spent the nation's wealth far beyond our ability to pay it back during this generation, and increasing that rate of spending at every opportunity. Assumptions that we will EVER be able to pay it back rest upon the belief that far more responsible government leaders will be in charge decades hence and they will curtail their spending appetites enough to bail out the bankrupt US Treasury. In addition, the voters in the future will be gracious enough to slash their standards of living far beneath what we have now, in order to funnel the vast majority of their incomes to the government in order to pay down our debt while receiving fewer services. In other words, we're counting on the entire American voting public being replaced by fiscally conservative alien body snatchers in the next 30 - 50 years. Yes, that's a long shot, but moderately more likely than Obama's public health care option being budget neutral. As such, let me be the first to say, Zoltan Xtropcazard of Remulus 12 in 2058. Until that glorious day, we're stuck with the politicians we elected and who created the fiscal apocalypse cited above. People like Rep. Betty McCollum. She's been in Congress for 8 years, never met a spending increase she didn't like, and certainly should be aware of the kinds of financial information from OMB posted above. And how does she react? From her speech last week at a Democrat party rally for Obama care: There are opponents of health care reform. There are people who say that the richest most powerful country on Earth cannot afford to provide health care for all of its citizens. There are opponents who want to protect profits before they protect the right of people to access health care in this country. Richest country on Earth? Tens of trillions of dollars in debt with no means to pay it off and we're still considered rich? Maybe she means rich in sense of the 7th definition of the word in Merriam-Webster: laughable. No, I believe McCollum means rich as in we have all the money we need to add yet another trillion dollar spending commitment. This extends a habit I noted back in March when reviewing her legislative spending priorities like:
She combines the beliefs that she is called on to save the world and that the well of US tax dollars available to pay for her plans is inexhaustible. Another example, from a speech she gave just one month ago, when the full extent of our fiscal catastrophe was already well known. In the context of already budgeting $7.8 billion in 2010 for her global health initiative, she has this to say about our financial contribution to health care in other countries:
The government is broke, the politicians have got the citizens at each others' throats over taking on crushing new debt for even more domestic spending, and McCollum is lobbying for untold billions more to save the world, all because we're the "richest nation." Maybe Betty McCollum is a relic from a different time, when we were the richest nation and had money to throw at any brainstorm any Congress person wanted to pursue. But those days are over, McCollum and her fellow relics sure took care of that. We cannot afford Betty McCollum in Congress any longer. That is my proposal for Congressional campaign ads in 2010. It would work against any big spending incumbent (of either party). Present the facts about the deficit, as provided by OMB or CBO. Then get some excerpts/sound clips of the incumbent sketching out their Utopian dreams with your dollars. Something like this:
Or this:
Whether or not the tape is slowed down to distort it into monster-like intonation is optional. Then end the spot with something like "Out of money, out of control. This country cannot afford [Congressperson X] any longer." Followed by 5 seconds of black screen and silence. Then, when the challenger wins on election day, pray they are one of those fiscally responsible pod people I mentioned earlier. Labels: 2010 Election, Deficit, McCollum
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